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Asperger Syndrome, which is also known as an autism spectrum disorder (ASD), a neurodevelopment disability that affect the ability to effectively interact and communicate with others. Those with this disability have a hard time relating to others socially and tend to stick to their routines and interests, like hyper fixations. Most diagnoses for this happen between the age of 5 and 9.

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This website gives insight for parents who have children with Aspergers syndrome. It gives tips that have relevance to what the child needs from their parents. Examples include things like not sheltering the child, be clear with expectations, and make sure to embrace the child's creativity and passions.

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8 Tips for Parents of Children with Asperger's Syndrome
People with Asperger's Syndrome have difficulty with the social aspects of life and often have inappropriate responses to social situations. One of the major problems for children with Asperger's Syndrome is understanding social cues in a given situation. Parents often struggle trying to find the best ways to help their Asperger's child; it takes time, patience, practice and compassion.

While many parents notice something unusual in their child quite early, most try to explain "unorthodox" behavior of their child by all possible reasons except for the most likely one. When the fact that something is wrong becomes obvious, parents bring their child for psychological assessment. Accepting the diagnosis is a very difficult step. Denial that your child has Asperger's will not help, the sooner you accept the reality, the better for you or your child.

The following tips can be useful for parents of Asperger's children:

1. Do not coddle or shelter your child from any situation that might set him/her off. Exposing your child to social situations will allow opportunities for both of you to work through them. With your guidance and over time, your child will be able to learn what the appropriate behaviors are in various situations. In addition, learn what your child's triggers are to better prepare yourself to diffuse or alter a possible meltdown or display of undesired behavior(s).

2. Be clear in your explanations of expected and/or desired behaviors when the situations arise. Do not expect that your child should know how to behave in different social situations and settings. Walk them through (thoroughly, but with the use of age-appropriate language) appropriate behaviors as well as emotional responses in accordance with the given social situations. You will have to repeat your explanations, but with time, your child should have a better understanding of the social skills necessary to achieve positive social interactions in diverse situations.

3. Embrace your child's passion, creativity, humor and energy when he/she exhibits it. With so much attention on changing your child's behavior, you have to remember to celebrate the amazing traits of his/her personality. Children will notice the negative attention they are receiving as well as how much work they need to do to be able to enjoy a social life. Use every opportunity to admire your child for the qualities that make them special, talented and loveable. You may forget how important positive reinforcement is when you're preoccupied with anxiety over the next Asperger's instance.

4. Your goal should always be to diffuse the situation. Going head to head with your child will never yield constructive results. If your child has an outburst in any social setting, do not yell at them because that will only make it worse. For example, if you are in a restaurant and the waitress gives your child the wrong meal, don't yell at your child to stop screaming, crying, banging on the table or for whatever reaction he/she has in response. Ask your child to come with you and take a walk. After you've been successful in helping your child regain composure, have a discussion to convey to one another your child's thoughts and emotions throughout that particular experience. Use this teachable moment to work through your child's emotions together while coming up with different ways that they can handle a similar situation (or even the same one) in the future.

5. Since you can't be with your child all the time, give him/her helpful hints (even if you have to repeat them) by voicing them or leaving little notes in his/her lunchbox, pockets or notebook. For example, when your child goes to lunch and goes to pay the individual at the register, wrap a note around the money to remind him/her to say "thank you". The types of notes you leave will obviously vary, but the idea is to help remind your child what to do when he/she struggles in a certain social situation.

6. Provide your child with positive feedback whenever possible. If you see that your child has displayed a desirable behavior whether on his/her own or as an effort to improve on a social skill, praise your child. For example, your child gives his/her last cookie to his/her sibling; make sure you compliment your child with something along the lines of "It was so nice of you to give your last cookie to your sister. I know you really wanted it, but look how happy you made her by giving it to her". Behaviors that are rewarding for a child will increase the likelihood that those same behaviors will be repeated in the future.

7. Create a "safe word" or special phrase between you and your child to use to communicate that he/she is having trouble with or is confused by a situation. This "safe word" or special phrase will allow only the parent and child to know what's going on, which protects a child's feelings and avoids any possible humiliation that may occur. In addition, it will enable the parent and child to work together to successfully deal with the social situation/setting in the moment.

8. Try to work with your child to improve both verbal and nonverbal communication. For example, while speaking with your child, continuously remind them to maintain eye contact. Explain to your child that maintaining eye contact will not only show that he/she is interested in the social interaction with the other person, but help them to detect facial expressions and possible hints about how that person feels in the moment. Since children with Asperger's have an incredibly difficult time picking up social cues, this will take a lot of time and the ability to do this will vary between children. However, do not give up on this tip, no matter how challenging it may be.

Always remember that children don't wish this upon themselves; Asperger's is not their fault. As stressful, frustrating and draining as times can be, you have to remain calm without ever blaming your child. With guidance, patience, compassion and love, parents and their children can successfully live with Asperger's... together.

Durham Region Autism Services is a non-profit organization dedicated to community education on Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and supporting individuals and families affected by ASD in Durham Region, Ontario. They organize school and community events, provide training for educational staff, and setup special programs and support groups for children and youth with Autism and Asperger's Syndrome. Our goal is to ensure that people with autism have the opportunity to reach their full potential and live with dignity. Durham Region Autism Services is run by volunteers only.

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8 Tips for Parents of Children with Asperger's Syndrome | Children's Mental Health Network

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Feature website of the week - Durham Region Autism Services 8 Tips for Parents of Children with Asperger's SyndromePeople with Asperger's Syndrome have difficulty with the social aspects of life and often have inappropriate responses to social situations. One of the major proble...

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This website offers insights for parents making an IEP for their child with Aspergers syndrome. It offers them information on the steps for getting an IEP for their child. It includes things like how the services are given, who would be on their child's team, and referral and evaluation process.

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Creating an Individualized Education Program (IEP) for Students with Asperger’s Syndrome and High Functioning Autism

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A blog about raising children and teens with Asperger’s and High-Functioning Autism.

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This website gives insights to support for the child with Aspergers syndrome. A good support group for these children is Asperger/Autism Network (AANE) which offers open and closed group sessions. There is also support groups offered for parents that have children with Aspergers syndrome/ autism.

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Finding your community is known to contribute to an increase in happiness, improved health and a better quality of life. Check out this list of online peer groups, parent support groups, recreation activities, religious groups, among others, and learn how to start your own autism support group or inclusive activity.

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This website focuses on support for families specifically. This gives families information on the importance of support for themselves and their children and gives them different support networks that they can reach out to for themselves.

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A diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is hard for both your child and you. Autism symptoms can vary widely. Odd or incorrect behaviors, problems with communication, and repeated routines and rituals are all linked to ASD. This can make life hard for the entire family. Some children with ASD are less affected than others.

The importance of support

Parents of a child with ASD must have a good support system in place. This will help your child cope with the unique aspects of his or her disorder. It will also help you learn how to manage your feelings when faced with the challenges of raising a child with ASD. Pay special attention to the needs of other children in the family. Sometimes siblings' needs get lost when so much attention is needed by the child with ASD. Spend one-to-one time with your other children. Look for sibling support groups that can provide a safe place for them to talk and share their feelings and fears.

Part of this support will come from the healthcare team that is treating your child and educating you as a parent. There is no cure for ASD. But most children can lead a happy, productive life by taking part in therapy. Therapy addresses the 3 main symptoms of the disorder:

Experts agree that the earlier a child starts therapy, the better the outcome often is.

Support for parents

Parents also benefit from a strong support network. The term Asperger syndrome is no longer used to describe higher-functioning people with ASD in the U.S. But you may still find the following support groups helpful:

Autism Speaks. This nationally recognized organization provides information for parents of newly diagnosed children. This includes app reviews, resources for children with ASD, and a 100-Day Kit with a step-by-step guide of what to do in the 100 days after an autism diagnosis.

GRASP (Global and Regional Asperger Syndrome Partnership). This group provides community outreach, online support, education, and advocacy for teens and adults on the autism spectrum. Membership is free.

ASPEN (The Asperger Syndrome Education Network). This New Jersey-based resource offers support for families and a listing of other online support groups.

Asperger Syndrome and High Functioning Autism Association. This group reaches people in New York City and Long Island, N.Y., with local activities and events and online support.

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asperger syndrome; coping with asperger; support for asperger; asperger symptoms; asperger behavior

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A diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is hard for both your child and you. Autism symptoms can vary widely. Odd or incorrect behaviors, problems with communication, and repeated routines and rituals are all linked to ASD. This can make life hard for the entire family.