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Self Care Tips

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Five Ways to Take Care of Yourself Emotionally

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Five Ways to Take Care of Yourself Emotionally

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Life happens, and your emotions are the expression of what is happening to you. Over the course of your life, you will experience numerous feelings. Many emotions will be familiar-those that occur on a regular basis and reflect the events of your daily life. Some will be less familiar, because the events these emotions express will be fewer and farther between, such as profound loss, tragedy, and death.

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Mastering your emotions is not only your personal responsibility but also is a positive strategy for getting through life in the best possible way you can. When you have a healthy attitude about your feelings and how to express them, you are better equipped to get through events well, rather than feeling each time strong emotion hits that you are overwhelmed and incapable of handling the situation.

Your emotions should ideally help you understand what is happening. Your mastery of emotion may take time to develop, but once it is acquired, you will no longer feel lost in the emotion of the moment. Rather, you will be able to see your emotional response as a way to understand what is happening and to rise above your immediate feelings in order to act appropriately for that specific situation.

All too often, people impulsively react to a situation without thinking too much about it. They will say that's just the way they feel, but frequently it's a habitual response. Rather than reacting with out-of-control emotion, which often leads to an escalation of emotional response (I often see this on Facebook with escalated emotional responses to provocative and controversial issues), does no one any good, and does nothing to solve the problem, wouldn't it be far better to gain an understanding of what your emotions are all about and how to use them to serve you best?

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These are some of the basic tools that can help you master your emotions:
1. Know your emotions.
All of them. What are your past experiences with each emotion? Know what triggers each of them. Understand which events, and especially people, are associated with each. Do you understand why you respond emotionally the way you do? Are you satisfied that your emotional response is appropriate and reflects what you truly feel? Or, does your emotional response feel uncomfortable-for example, overreactive (or not reactive enough for the situation)? Do you feel frustrated that you can't adequately express yourself?

Knowing your emotions should help you judge how to behave when a situation arises. Each new event or interaction should not feel like the first time it's happening. Each successive time a specific emotion is expressed gives you another opportunity to observe yourself and respond in a way that feels right (or at least better) for you.

2. Maintain healthy boundaries.

How do you maintain your own emotional integrity? How do you keep others' emotions from invading your space? Are you able to recognize when others' emotions "become" your own, or at least when others are attempting to make you "feel" the way they do and the way they want you to? Do you have strategies to protect yourself from emotional invasion?

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Think of a boundary as a healthy space around you. You decide how big this space needs to be for you to feel comfortable. It may be an actual space, measured as physical distance, or an imaginary psychological/emotional space. When you successfully maintain healthy emotional boundaries, you are taking care of yourself first and foremost. Once you've done that, you can actually deal with a situation or person more effectively, since you know what you can and will do, as well as what you will not allow to happen emotionally.
3. Cultivate your own well-being on every level.
Practice self-care whenever possible. Physical care will keep you healthy and strong, better able to endure life when difficult things happen. Psychological well-being goes a long way to help sustain you, especially during life challenges when you are called upon to emotionally respond. Understanding who you are at your core, what makes you tick, how you differ from or are similar to those around you, and what your attitudes and beliefs are will help keep you on the "right track," able to stay on your path in order to accomplish what you desire. As with emotions, your psychological outlook helps keep you steady in your own life.

Cultivate a belief system that brings you hope and faith. Spiritual practice (this may be religious, but not necessarily) can help to sustain you on a daily basis, especially in trying and challenging times and with trying and challenging people.
4. Create a healthy support system.
These are people who encourage and nurture you. These are people who know you, like who you are, and are willing to help you become your best self. People with no ulterior motive or private agenda. These are people you can always turn to just to listen and/or provide advice if needed.

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It should not be difficult to identify who in your life overwhelms you, weighs you down, worries you, makes you anxious, and/or causes you to engage in situations and relationships that are not in your best interest and that deter you from pursuing what makes you happy and contented. Sometimes it's hard to grasp that a relationship or situation is engaging you in a negative way. But over time and with repetitive interactions, you should begin to see the bigger picture. Even if you have difficultly moving away from or limiting a relationship or situation that isn't good for you, having a support system behind you is extremely helpful. The goal is to eventually move toward more satisfying, productive, and caring relationships that support the kind of life you want to live.

5. Create an emotional or psychological "toolbox."

This is a great visual for many of these concepts. Your "toolbox" is a place where you keep your coping skills-life management tools that you have acquired over time and over the course of having had numerous life experiences. These tools are strategies you have developed and used effectively to cope with challenges to your life and well-being.

Over time, your personal "toolbox" should come to contain everything you need. My patients know they have the tools to deal with most of what life dishes up, and they feel confident that when a challenge occurs in the future, they have what it takes to handle it. In challenging times, however, people may feel that they need to seek help in order to gain a broader perspective, and perhaps add more strategies in order to better deal with a certain situation. Anything that helps you to grow emotionally and become more grounded within yourself is always a welcome addition to your life.
LinkedIn image: David Herraez Calzada/Shutterstock

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5 Ways to Take Care of Yourself Emotionally

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Life happens, and your emotions are the expression of what is happening to you. Over the course of your life, you will experience numerous feelings. Many emotions will be familiar-those that occur on a regular basis and reflect the events of your daily life.

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Self-Care Resources & Planning Tools for Educators & Anyone

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Self-Care Resources & Planning Tools for Educators & Anyone

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SEL RESOURCES - Adult Self-Care Strategies

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Self-Care Self-Assessment & Planning Tool

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Quote for Empowerment - Words Written by Yours Truly

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Quote for Empowerment - Words Written by Yours Truly

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Discussing toxic positivity. Be aware......

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Discussing toxic positivity. Be aware......

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Discussing toxic positivity with Karlyn Percil

There's an undeniable power in positivity. But the recent trend of having "good vibes only" also has a dark side: meet toxic positivity. Joining us to discuss this cultural trend is Certified Emotional Intelligence and Neuro-Life Coach Karlyn Percil.

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Discussing toxic positivity with Karlyn Percil

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There's an undeniable power in positivity. But the recent trend of having "good vibes only" also has a dark side: meet toxic positivity. Joining us to discuss this cultural trend is Certified Emotional Intelligence and Neuro-Life Coach Karlyn Percil.

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Words of Inspiration for Black Women

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Focus on what's good.

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Be you do you. Others will feel comfortable when you stay true to you.

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I believe in Humility. A great reminder for all.

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If you've ever been told (or told yourself) to cheer up, look on the bright side, or count your blessings, this one's for you.

Americans on the whole are a positive bunch: We'd better be positive if we want to fit in. In Bright-Sided: How Positive Thinking is Undermining America, Barbara Ehrenreich does a wonderful job chronicling the American overemphasis on happiness. She examines how our culture came to overrate positivity and underestimate the worth of negative emotions, like sadness and regret.

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As it turns out, that's not good news. (Sorry to be a Debbie Downer.)

According to a recent study, societal overvaluing of positive emotions, and undervaluing of negative ones, may have an unintended consequence: Rather than vanquishing depression, a lopsided emphasis on happiness may be breeding it. It's ironic enough to be almost (but not quite) funny: The more we downplay negative emotions and try to focus on the positive, the worse we seem to feel.
"Don't Be Sad"
Researchers studied people with depressive symptoms and asked them to rate other people's desire for them not to be sad or anxious from day to day. What they found was that "the more pressure a person receives from his social environment not to experience negative emotions, the more likely that person is to experience an increase in depressive symptoms."

It seems our unhappiness is amplified by comparison with the more socially desirable cheerfulness: Not only are we sad, anxious, or depressed, but now, because of social pressure, we feel bad about ourselves for not being happy-which makes us feel worse.

This latest research adds mortar to the foundation of empirical evidence for constructive wallowing. It suggests that if we want a chance at happiness, we should allow ourselves, and allow each other, to be sad.

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Saying Yes to Sadness
Suppressing negative feelings leads to emotional constipation, not freedom. The best way to get rid of a negative feeling as quickly as possible is not to push it away, but to embrace it.

Try these tips for emotional wellness:

1. Notice and name your emotions when they happen. Take some of these for a spin-anger, regret, humiliation, dread, shame, powerlessness, hurt, fear. These feelings are often at play, but less often labeled for what they are: dimensions of experience.

2. Don't act on your feelings. Actions aren't always advisable: Despair, in itself, can't hurt you. But suicidal behavior most definitely can. Sit on your hands and tolerate negative feelings instead of acting them out.

3. Offer self-compassion, not judgment, when negative feelings arise. You don't get to choose them. They happen too quickly, and once activated, they're there till they're not. Your only choice is whether to accept them or to try to push them away.

4. Stop chasing happiness. The discrepancy between how you really feel and how you want to feel will only make you more unhappy.

Accept the way you feel in this moment. If it's not due to a medical condition (always worth checking into), there's a reason for how you feel. Take it as information-that's what feelings are for.

Thank your emotions for weighing in, and pledge always to give them your attention and respect.
LinkedIn image: PRPicturesProduction/Shutterstock

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If you've ever been told (or told yourself) to cheer up, look on the bright side, or count your blessings, this one's for you. Americans on the whole are a positive bunch: We'd better be positive if we want to fit in.

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Gratitude helps you build your happiness. Make it a priority in life.

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Find your purpose and go with it. You'll be glad you did.

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Count your blessings. They will get you through tough times and give joy to every day living.

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Tools for Positive Psychology

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Reflection in Me....Learn to Like Yourself

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Teaching self-awareness - concepts that apply for all of us in animation....

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I Can Be Self-Aware - Mentor Video with Maria

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Liking yourself is the best place to begin....

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Do you....be you. No one can do it better!

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Pandemic writing....Who knew would be almost a year and still isolated. Learning new gifts and different engagement strategies....Think happy, Be Well.

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Pandemic writing....Who knew would be almost a year and still isolated. Learning new gifts and different engagement strategies....Think happy, Be Well.

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Unleash Your Power.....My writing during the pandemic. By Yours Truly - Debra A. Carr

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Unleash Your Power.....My writing during the pandemic. By Yours Truly - Debra A. Carr

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What people say and their behavior can alter our brains. We are social beings.

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Love is a simple concept, yet extremely powerful. We need more love everyday.....

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Love is a simple concept, yet extremely powerful. We need more love everyday.....

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Women of many shades changing the world.....One step, one moment, one learning at a time.

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Here's To Strong Women [Inspirational Video]

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For believers in a higher power, Oprah shares her insights.

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For believers in a higher power, Oprah shares her insights.

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Oprah on Believing In Something Bigger Than Yourself | Belief | Oprah Winfrey Network

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“Dear Young Woman”: a poem of empowerment

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Mentors make a world of difference. Be a caring compassionate adult.

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The title is Dear Black Women, however the message can apply to all women. It's ok to feel and be vulnerable when you feel it.

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As Black women, there’s so much pressure on us to be everything to everyone.

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Ways to heal and prepare after a Traumatic Event

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Ways to heal and prepare after a Traumatic Event

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Dear Black woman, embrase the beauty in your authentic self

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Black Women On Self-Care: It Is OK To Take Off The Superwoman Cape

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The Black community isn't any less likely than others to develop mental illness, but Black Americans may lack the resources to get help for their psychological problems. They're greatly underrepresented as patients, even though some reports say Black Americans experience even more psychological distress than other ethnic groups.

In fact, only half of Black adults with mental illness get treatment, according to the nonprofit organization Mental Health America.

A number of factors contribute to this trend. The legacy of systemic racism in health care has bred distrust in communities of color, for example; and just 4% of psychologists practicing today are Black.

Now, add in the cost of treatment, especially for therapists who don't accept health insurance, and the difficulty that patients with full-time jobs have scheduling therapy appointments during weekdays. It's easy to see why obtaining therapy can be challenging for Black Americans.

These mental health resources and organizations are striving to destigmatize Black mental health and provide support to the Black community.

The Boris Lawrence Henson Foundation

Actress Taraji P. Henson has not only been open about her experiences with anxiety, depression, and grief. She's also become a mental health advocate for Black Americans.

In 2018, the Golden Globe winner launched the Boris Lawrence Henson Foundation, named after her late father, whose mental health suffered from his military service in the Vietnam War. The foundation raises awareness about mental health in the Black community and works to reduce stigma about the issue.

The foundation also partners with other nonprofits to provide scholarships to Black students pursuing mental health careers and works to reduce recidivism in the prison system. It also offers mental health services to youth in urban schools.

Over the past three decades, the suicide rate of Black children between the ages of 5 and 11 is two times greater than the suicide rate of their white counterparts. Black teens are also more likely than white youth to attempt suicide, making outreach in schools a top priority for Henson's group.

The Boris Lawrence Henson Foundation has also conducted outreach to Black Americans during the COVID-19 pandemic. It has offered free virtual therapy to Black Americans directly impacted by the coronavirus and the racial justice protests that followed the murder of George Floyd by a Minneapolis police officer in May 2020.

The Liberate Meditation App

New York-based software engineer Julio Rivera launched the Liberate meditation app in 2019 specifically for people of color. An Afro-Latino, Rivera could not find an online meditation resource designed for Black and Brown people, so he created his own.

Many meditation apps for general audiences may discuss issues such as stress, overwork, busyness, and relationships. Liberate includes guided audio meditations and presentations related to topics including sleep, mindfulness, ancestors, and gratitude.

Additionally, the app provides meditations that touch on the pain of racial discrimination and shows users how to honor and nurture their feelings in the wake of microaggressions (subtle forms of racism) that can take a toll on a person's mental health over time.

Other meditations on the app encourage users to think of all the people who care for and support them. Although Liberate users come from all racial backgrounds, Black women comprise the largest group of users, according to Rivera.

Black Therapists Rock

With headquarters in Washington, DC, Black Therapists Rock aims to "reverse racial trauma through collective healing." A book of the same name, authored by 15 Black mental health professionals, debuted in 2018. That effort has blossomed into a Facebook group, a therapist directory, and training events. Black Therapists Rock is a resource for the public and mental health professionals alike.

Therapy for Black Girls

Therapy for Black Girls aims to make therapy more accessible for Black women and lift the veil on mental health in the Black community.

The platform includes a podcast hosted by licensed psychologist Joy Harden Bradford that explores topics such as complex PTSD, Black women and intimate partner violence, and talking to kids about race. Therapy for Black Girls also includes a provider directory, a community called the "sister circle," and a blog.

Therapy for Black Men

Therapy for Black Men works to change the perception that therapy is a sign of weakness and make therapy easier for Black men and boys to access. It includes a national directory of roughly 150 therapists and 30 coaches (providing help for issues such as relationships, weight loss, and confidence-building) who are equipped to provide culturally competent care to Black men.

The organization also provides financial assistance for economically disadvantaged Black Americans, a blog, and articles about topics such as relationships and triggers.

Therapy in Color

Therapy in Color strives to create spaces for healing with the goal of making sure that Black, Indigenous, and people of color can access psychotherapy by culturally diverse professionals.

Aiming to destigmatize therapy, the organization includes a blog, directory of therapists, and resources to help patients better manage anxiety and other mental health problems. It is the brainchild of licensed psychotherapist Ashley Bryant, who advocates for inclusivity in the mental health realm.

The Black Mental Health Alliance (BMHA)

With a database of Black psychiatrists, a questionnaire to match prospective patients with therapists, and other resources, the Black Mental Health Alliance promotes and organizes educational forums, training, and referral services to support the Black community.

The organization has also provided school-based mental health services, fatherhood initiatives, and after-school programs. BMHA programs and workshops are culturally relevant and address race-based trauma, structural racism, and mental health stigma in the Black community.

Black Mental Wellness

Black Mental Wellness collaborates with community stakeholders to provide culturally relevant educational resources about Black mental health. It offers training opportunities for Black mental health professionals and students interested in pursuing mental health and wellness careers.

The organization also provides fact sheets about mental health problems such as ADHD, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and major depressive disorders.

Some mental health professionals share their expertise with audiences on YouTube. Among them is Atlanta-based psychiatrist Tracey Marks, MD, who uploads weekly videos about a variety of mental health topics, including mood disorders, personality disorders, medication, and treatment options. With more than a half-million subscribers, Marks is one of the most popular mental health professionals on YouTube.

You can also find licensed professional counselors such as Támara Hill, psychologist Joy Harden Bradford of Therapy for Black Girls, and Black Therapists Rock on the site, among many others.

YouTube is no substitute for seeing a trained psychologist, psychiatrist, or other mental health professional. That said, the licensed experts who share their knowledge on the platform can help Black people better understand mental health topics, find professionals who look like them, and connect with other Black Americans interested in learning more about mental health.

Some viewers have their own mental health struggles, while others want to better understand their loved one's experiences.

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Mental Health Resources for the Black Community

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The Black community isn't any less likely than others to develop mental illness, but Black Americans may lack the resources to get help for their psychological problems. They're greatly underrepresented as patients, even though some reports say Black Americans experience even more psychological distress than other ethnic groups.

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Importance of Black Women's Mental Health

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Importance of Black Women's Mental Health

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Research indicates that Black women highly endorse the Strong Black Woman (SBW) persona: A perception that Black women are naturally strong, resilient, self-contained, and self-sacrificing.

The SBW is perceived as able to handle with ease all the stress, upset, and trauma life throws her way. Her strength is shown in her independence, self-control, and work ethic. ¹ She is self-reliant and emotionally contained. ² She does not need emotional or financial support to succeed or to take care of her (and others') responsibilities. ³ She works tirelessly and without complaint, always doing more even if what is asked seems impossible.

But evidence suggests that the degree to which a Black woman identifies as a Strong Black Woman can limit her ability to cope well emotionally, generating adverse mental health outcomes related to stress, anxiety, and depression.

Taking a toll on Black women's mental well-being
Black women face unique stresses poorly understood in treatment circles. Black adults in general (and Black women in particular) are more likely than white women to report feeling sad and hopeless some of the time.

The detrimental impact of racism on African American women's mental, emotional, and physical health throughout their lifespan is well documented. 4 And Black women diagnosed with postpartum depression are less likely to accept medication recommendations and therapy. ⁵

Barriers to mental health care
Regardless of race or sex, many seeking mental healthcare struggle to find help and actually receive it.

The high cost of mental health care is often an obstacle. Despite the Affordable Care act, approximately 8 percent of all US citizens do not have insurance. ⁶ But approximately 12 percent of all African Americans are uninsured. Even those with health insurance often don't have mental health services covered or have expensive co-pays or deductibles.

Many people do not know where to begin looking for a therapist who will fit their needs. Also, they may not know the questions to ask when meeting a therapist for the first time to see if they are the right fit.

Furthermore, other unique emotional, behavioral, and financial barriers stand between Black women and access to care.

1. Familial shame. Family members can be dismissive of mental health needs. "It's just a mood" and "Snap out of it," are typical responses. These attitudes can be passed from generation to generation.

2. Cultural stigma. The familial shame often stems from a broader cultural stigma surrounding mental health in the Black community. Going to therapy is viewed as a sign of weakness and something to be ashamed of. Instead, they turn to other "safer" avenues like church, friends, and healing circles.

3. Lack of provider diversity. Black people prefer to talk to someone who looks like them and better understands their experience. Unfortunately, in 2014, only around 2 percent of the American Psychological Association members and associates identified as Black.⁷ The lack of representation can make it hard for those seeking a counselor to find the help they need when they need it most.

4. Poor cultural competency among non-Black clinicians. Not all clinicians are trained to be aware or curious about how culture, race, and ethnicity impact a person's mental and emotional wellbeing.

5. Whiteness as a foundation to mental health care. Most of the psychological training therapists receive is based on the experiences of white people and their norms, values, and beliefs, which can influence the competency of non-Black therapists.

6. Distrust of the medical industry. Many Black people have grown suspicious of the broader health care system due to a history of being mistreated and misdiagnosed, unethical treatment, exploitative experimentation, and general deficit-based and culturally incompetent treatment that extends back to slavery.

7. Emotional hesitation. Black people are often taught to keep feelings to themselves, and so, even after finding a therapist, the process of opening up can be challenging.

8. Negative past experiences. This could be due to a therapist's lack of cultural awareness and competence or other factors. These negative experiences can dissuade Black people from finding a new counselor and continuing healing.

Identifying barriers to care promptly is important because, as depression severity increases, Black women become less likely to pursue care. ⁸

We can do better. Women in our community deserve better.
Sources & Citations
1. (Collins, 2004; Wallace, 1990; Woods-Giscombé, 2010)
2. (Harrington et al., 2010; Romero, 2000)
3. (Romero, 2000; Wallace, 1990)
4. Yin Paradies and others, "Racism as a determinant of health: A systematic review and meta-analysis," PLoS ONE (10) (2015).
5. Bodnar-Deren S, Benn EKT, Balbierz A, Howell EA.Stigma and postpartum depression treatment acceptability among black and white women in the first six-months postpartum. Matern Child Health J. 2017;21(7):1457-1468.
6.https://www.statista.com/topics/7807/health-insurance-in-the-us/
7.https://www.apa.org/workforce/publications/14-member/table-1.pdf
8. Nelson T, Ernst SC, Tirado C, et al.Psychological distress and attitudes toward seeking professional psychological services among black women: the role of past mental health treatment. J Racial Ethn Health Disparities. Published online February 8, 2021.

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Why Strong Black Women need mental health care, too - Health Evolution

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Research indicates that Black women highly endorse the Strong Black Woman (SBW) persona: A perception that Black women are naturally strong, resilient, self-contained, and self-sacrificing. The SBW is perceived as able to handle with ease all the stress, upset, and trauma life throws her way.

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Why it’s OK For Black Women To Prioritize Self-Care

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"Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes."

Carl Jung, psychiatrist

We're all on a journey. But the journey to self-actualization isn't a linear, check-the-box type of path.

We show up as whole people in our careers, our personal lives, and our relationships. We each bring a unique perspective, background, and experience to our own journey of bettering ourselves.

At different times and different stages, we need different support. Oftentimes, this depends on what is happening in our lives and what we're trying to accomplish. Sometimes we're bettering, sometimes we're surviving, sometimes we're struggling.

You could be looking for support for yourself or trying to support a team member or an entire organization. But when it comes to finding the right support, it helps to understand what support looks like. For many, it starts with this question. What's the difference between coaching and therapy?

Coaching versus therapy may appear binary in nature. It can feel like a forked road, a choice that leads you down a singular path.

But when we dig into what coaching versus therapy really means, there are quite a few gray areas. It's not as clear-cut as it seems. In fact, paths can cross. Paths can intersect and work alongside one another. And sometimes, you can hop off of one path and follow the other. Oftentimes, these paths lead to the same destination: a better you.

Let's discuss key differences between coaching and therapy. We'll also talk about what it means to take care of your mental health versus strengthening your mental fitness. And hopefully, you'll walk away from this article with a clear idea of what path you want and what you need. Because when it comes to coaching vs. therapy, you have more options than you may think.

Coach vs. therapist

Before we get into what path is best for you, let's understand what we mean by coaching versus therapy. Here are seven key characteristics to keep in mind.

Therapists treat mental illness

Therapists are trained mental health professionals with the goal of treating mental illness. In the last few years, we've seen a brimming mental health crisis. The onset of COVID-19 brought the mental health conversation to the forefront, which has helped to reduce some stigma (though we still have plenty of work to do).

Let's take a look at the data. First, it's estimated that one in four people live with a diagnosed mental health condition . Recently, it was reported that 60% of college students are living with mental health issues .

Anxiety disorders, while highly treatable, affect around 19% of the US population . When we look at anxiety among adolescents, that number rises to nearly 32% of US teens experiencing anxiety.

We know that mental health is a spectrum. Some people exist in more severe areas while others are experiencing moderate or mild symptoms of mental health issues. Regardless of where you are on the scale, if you're living with a mental illness, enlist the support of a therapist.

A trained therapist will be able to help devise a personalized mental health care plan for you. For example, I was diagnosed with PTSD and anxiety in 2020. Sometimes, I also experience depressive episodes. My mental health ebbed and flowed as I went through different experiences in life, scaling up and down that spectrum.

For a period of time, my therapist prescribed medication to help me weather challenging points in my life. But today, I'm medication-free and feel much better equipped to handle what life throws at me.

Between working with my coach on how to proactively care for my mental fitness and working with my therapist on how to take care of my mental health, I have a multi-pronged, personalized approach to how to better myself.

What can make this more confusing is that both psychologists and licensed mental health counselors may provide therapy or be referred to as a therapist.

In addition, the terminology, requirements for licensing, and the ability to prescribe medication vary from state to state. In most states, therapists cannot prescribe medication unless they are medical doctors (typically a psychiatrist).

Coaches build mental fitness

At BetterUp, we're in the business of building mental fitness. Whether you're looking to provide business coaching for your team, or career coaching for yourself, our professional certified coaches help you strengthen your mental fitness through coaching sessions.

But what is mental fitness? And what good does mental fitness do? At BetterUp, we define mental fitness as a proactive approach and practice that ignites well-being, performance, and growth. It's accessible to everyone. And because mental fitness is for everyone, everyone can benefit from having a coach in the corner of their growth journey.

In a time where uncertainty, change, and unpredictability are at all-time highs, we know it can feel like the world is spinning around you. An investment in your mental fitness is an investment in you - a practice that will help cushion the steepest of falls and allow you to reach new levels of greatness.

Let's take a look at the science behind coaching. We've studied the impact of mental fitness and coaching on our Members. In fact, we've found that a mentally fit workforce reports these stats :

34% more engaged at work

22% more creative at work

24% higher social connection

28% higher meaning and purpose

65% greater happiness

59% higher life satisfaction

43% higher optimism

Beyond that, we also took a look at people who start out in the "I'm feeling stuck" stage (low overall well-being). Of those who started coaching with BetterUp, 77% significantly improved their well-being after just 3-4 months .

If mental health is a spectrum, we know that pre-pandemic, 55% of people are languishing . In other words, there's a massive middle, an entire segment of the population that's experiencing an absence of mental health. But with BetterUp, you can build your mental fitness to slide up that scale instead of slipping down it. It starts with a good coach.

Therapists require more education and credentialing

Because psychotherapy requires medical professionals to diagnose and treat mental health problems, there are additional license requirements. This is another key difference between a coach and a therapist. Psychotherapists generally have licensing boards to pass, some specific to the state in which they practice.

Therapists and psychotherapists have higher levels of professional education, like a master's degree or even a doctorate degree. Some are licensed clinical social workers, like my therapist. While each training program differs based on specialization, therapists require higher credentials.

Most coaches are trained, licensed professionals

There are many types of coaches. Don't worry: professional coaches don't go without professional training. But there are different credential requirements (and governing bodies) when it comes to the world of coaching.

The International Coaching Federation (ICF) reported there are about 71,000 licensed coaches globally according to its 2020 study. And of those 71,000 coaches, 99% reported completing coach-specific training.

At BetterUp, our coaches are professionally trained and certified coaches. We're building the world's largest network of certified coaching. At BetterUp, our coaches are mental fitness professionals.

A science-backed approach to coaching, BetterUp looks at evidence-based methodologies of positive psychology. These science-backed methods help us to guide coaching training. We also run certificate-style courses accredited by the International Coach Federation. These courses help coaches continue to grow their skills.

But coaching is not a substitute for therapy. Coaching can certainly feel like a therapeutic relationship. After all, you're working one-on-one to solve your problems. But if you're living with a mental health condition, also seek out the support of a therapist.

Coaches and therapists have their own specialties and areas of expertise

Coaches and therapists overlap in some areas. For example, coaches and therapists both have specialties and different areas of expertise.

For therapists, different types of therapy and specialties include:

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)

Talk therapy

EMDR therapy (including past trauma)

Depression, anxiety, and anxiety disorders

Marriage and family therapy

Addiction and eating disorders

Significant life milestones or transitions (including grief, loss, and trauma)

At BetterUp, different specialties include:

Coaches and therapists both work on creating long-lasting behavior changes

While modalities and approaches will differ, coaches and therapists can share the same goal. Both types of professionals put together action plans. And with these habits, clients create long-lasting behavior changes.

Of course, each scenario is addressed differently. For example, I set goals for myself with both my therapist and my coach. My goal was simple. I wanted to live a happier, healthier life, one where I could achieve my life goals.

In therapy, we work on addressing my automatic negative thoughts. I still do EMDR therapy on a weekly basis to help alleviate the impact of trauma and reduce my triggers. And for a period of time, I was prescribed medication.

In coaching, we work on addressing limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome. My coach challenges me to shift my perspective, especially when it comes to self-compassion and my inner critic.

Coaches and therapists are both invested in helping you better yourself

Lastly, coaches and therapists share a common goal. They are both invested in helping you better yourself.

Therapy sessions and coaching sessions alike are designed to help you build the skills you need to thrive. And no matter where you are in your life journey, everyone can benefit from support.

Larry McAllister, VP of Global Talent, NetApp, shares how a whole-person approach has helped NetApp's workforce thrive.

Mental fitness vs. mental health

We've talked some about the difference between coaching vs. therapy. But when we peel back the layers underneath, it comes down to mental health vs. mental fitness. Let's take a minute to determine what we mean by mental health.

Mental health

Mental health is a spectrum and people exist up and down the spectrum of mental health

Some people live with severe mental health conditions and illnesses while others manage more mild or moderate symptoms

One in 4 people live with a diagnosable mental health condition in the U.S.

Mental health and illness require clinical care and attention

Mental health can be improved by building a strong mental fitness but mental health and mental fitness are not synonymous

Mental fitness

Mental fitness is a proactive practice that ignites well-being, performance, and growth

Mental fitness helps you become more resilient, realize your potential, and thrive

Mental fitness is a proactive approach to caring for your mental health

Mental fitness is a routine that can be accessible no matter someone's experience with mental health and self-improvement, abilities, or access to resources

Mental fitness does not replace the need for clinical mental health care

Mental fitness aims to give everyone more tools to help support themselves

Through diverse mental fitness routines, you can build catered programs to support your well-being

BetterUp's Chief Impact Officer Prince Harry, The Duke of Sussex sat down with Adam Grant, organizational psychologist and BetterUp Science Advisor, Blu Mendoza, BetterUp Member, and Chloe Kim, professional snowboarder and Olympian, to talk about mental fitness.

When to seek support from a coach vs. therapist

Your health challenges will help guide what type of mental fitness or mental health care to seek out. Here's how to know when you need support from a coach versus a therapist.

For a trained mental health professional

You live with a mental health condition (i.e. depression, anxiety, bipolar, schizophrenia, or others)

You require mental health treatment or medication from a healthcare professional

You want better ways to care for your mental health in general

You're experiencing more frequent symptoms of poor mental health that need addressing

For a coach

You're looking to build a mental fitness practice as a supplement to your therapy practice

You are looking for career advice, grief support, or help to address burnout

You're seeking ways to battle caregiver fatigue

You want better techniques for managing stress

You want to invest in your physical and nutritional health

You want to be proactive about how you care for your mental health

You're looking to enhance your inclusive leadership skills

You want to become a better communicator

You want to invest in your personal growth and professional development

You want to perform better at work

You want to become a better overall leader

No matter what, a coach can help

The question of a coach versus a therapist doesn't have to be binary. With BetterUp, you can take control of your mental fitness journey. A coach will help you create a customized plan that works for you.

And if you live with a mental health condition, supplementing your mental health care plan with a coach can only help. You'll be better equipped to cushion any bumps along the road, no matter what stage of life you're in.

If you're looking to galvanize a thriving workforce, coaching is ready for you. With BetterUp, you're making an investment in your people and their well-being. Building a mentally fit workforce starts with access to virtual coaching.

Get started today. Together, we can unlock your full potential.

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Coaching vs. Therapy: Do You Need a Coach, a Therapist, or Both?

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How do you know if you need a coach, a therapist, or both? Let's break down the key differences between coaching versus therapy.

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Empowering Affirmations For Black Women By Black Women - Wanderlust calls

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A collection of empowering affirmations for Black women, created by Black women. The collection includes affirmations for self-love, healing and conquering fear.

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Mental Health Among African-American Women

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Reviewed By: "Anyone can experience mental illness. There is no group, gender, sexual identity, race or cultural belief that can prevent it from occurring," says Richards. "And it's actually happening at higher rates than most other illnesses, including heart disease, diabetes and cancer." That's especially alarming for minority women.

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Be Authentic: 19 Ways To Do It

Want to be more authentic, or be your true self in more situations. You can! Here are some wonderful and useful tips on how to be more authentic every day.

*This page may include affiliate links; that means I earn from qualifying purchases of products.

What Is Authenticity?

Being authentic means that you act in ways that show your true self and how you feel. Rather than showing people only a particular side of yourself, you express your whole self genuinely.

To get started, here's a quick video on how to be yourself

*This page may include affiliate links; that means I earn from qualifying purchases of products.

How We Lost Our Authenticity

From infancy into adulthood, we are constantly balancing inner and outer aspects of ourselves in order to better fit in, to become more successful, or to find love. We all want to be loved, or at least liked. We want to find "our place" in society, and we want to be respected for who we are and what we have to contribute. Many of us are propelled even further, desiring to know and live our purpose, to find deeper meaning in our lives, and to feel the fulfillment that comes with becoming a more authentic person.

But how do we do that in a consumer-oriented world where marketing overrules truth and "image" is more important than integrity? We live in a society engorged with superficiality, where sex sells, hyperbole wins, greed trumps values, and our principles get stomped under foot. Yet we still want to be accepted and to fit in, and we may even promote "the lie" in order "to get ahead". So how are we to be authentic in such a dysfunctional world?

Why We Stick To Inauthenticity

Psychology has taught us that we were molded as children by our parents, teachers, religions, and peers to become "acceptable" in their eyes, regardless of how that pressure may have distorted us. And while we were still dependent on others to survive, we were susceptible to their coercions as we tried to match their expectations and to become the person we thought they wanted us to be. As a result we developed behavioral anomalies and beliefs to help us "measure up" to their unrealistic expectations and to please those who took care of us.

Sometimes we also had to resort to coping mechanisms and protective measures in the face of abuse, exclusion or lack. Thus we adapted as best we could, depending on the patterns of behavior, habit, attitude and belief we were conditioned by, which are now buried deep in our unconscious where they remain hidden and hard to control.

This process has been further aggravated by social media, which encourages superficiality, competition, and peer pressure to further mold us into someone we want others to believe we are, while all the while it is somewhat out of focus with who we really are. As social pressures impacted us to form our system of beliefs, the "Adaptive Self" was born. It drives our beliefs, attitudes and behaviors to this day! If we are to rediscover our original and natural "Authentic Self", we must first acknowledge that the "Adaptive Self" is currently running the show, and we hardly realize that we are programmed to behave in very specific ways.
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Yes we can thank the "Adaptive Self" for getting us this far, but if we want to evolve further, looking behind the social mast to rediscover the "Authentic Self", then we must dig into the psyche to clarify which beliefs are really our own.

Here's a video about how to be authentic in a fake world

How to Rekindle Authenticity

1. Observe yourself objectively to rekindle authenticity

Learn to observe yourself like a fly on the wall. Become the Watcher who is stalking the "Authentic Self". In order to reclaim this "Authentic Self", you will need to watch yourself as you live your life in the present, observing how your "Adaptive Self" behaves, what it believes, how it reacts under pressure, and how it responds to challenges. If you are to make any changes within the depth of your Being, you must first know what you are currently projecting in your life, and whether your actions and attitudes emanate from your true inner self or are merely mechanisms you adopted long ago in order to better fit in. By identifying those adaptive coping mechanisms, such as defensiveness, or attracting attention, or trying to please others, you will begin to notice the falseness and begin to see the glimmers of truth underneath.

2. Examine family belief systems to rekindle authenticity

Most people were raised in some sort of "family-style" environment during their earliest, most vulnerable years. These early years are where most of our false beliefs came from! Think back to episodes in your childhood especially, when extreme circumstances forcibly implanted certain beliefs into your impressionable mind. Or perhaps your behavior changed abruptly, but what happened to make it change? The past is where our fears and attitudes towards others come from. Our cultural beliefs about racism, poverty, religion, misogyny, xenophobia, etc. usually reflect the mores of the family and the society within which we were raised. Authenticity is about speaking and acting in accord with our beliefs, so by examining our beliefs, we can learn a lot about ourselves.

While some folks rebelled against the mores of the times they lived in, they usually suffered some consequence, so we learned early that if we did what we were told and spouted the "party line", whatever that was, we'd be OK. Of course, we also watched while some of our peers "got away with murder" because they belonged to an elite group, perhaps they were a star athlete or the son of important or wealthy parents, etc. Others were treated mercilessly because they were poor, or of a different race, culture or creed, or because they were handicapped or looked different from the rest. We took all that in, along with how we and others were treated in our past, and we learned to do whatever we thought would promote our self-interest. And in doing this, we lost our authenticity.

As we grew up we adopted mechanisms and beliefs that worked for us, whether they were based on anything genuine or not. In most cases these beliefs still lie buried within us, although we have probably outgrown most of them. When unexpectedly these false beliefs are blurted out for all to hear, it is only then that the false belief is revealed, even to the person who spoke it. Sometimes it's shocking to hear what emerges from our mouths!
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It is also important to recognize that our subconscious often speaks when we aren't paying strict attention, and if we are honest with ourselves, inner investigation will reveal some beliefs and behaviors it is time to change. So examine your beliefs as you stalk your authenticity, questioning yourself until you are 100% resonating with your true inner principles.

3. Open a dialogue between the "Adaptive Self" and the "Authentic Self"

If you like visualization exercises, here's one to try. Whether you tend to see, hear or feel, use your imagination to invite two aspects of your psyche - the "Adaptive Self" and the "Authentic Self"- for an inner mind dialogue. Respectfully introduce both: thank the "Adaptive Self" for helping you function through some difficult and confusing times. Understand that there's no negative judgment here.
​
Now invite the "Authentic Self" to present itself. Apologize for not being completely true to yourself in the past and vow to do better, once you more fully understand how you may have "lost your way" in a sea of beliefs. If you sincerely wish to expand your personal authenticity, are you willing to hear what both sides have to say? In your mind's eye, invite both parties to participate in this discussion, between the Adaptive and the Authentic. Ask a question, mentally, while urging each side to express itself fully, and then listen patiently to the responses. Encourage dialogue so that you may comprehend both points of view. This may help you understand why you hold the beliefs you do, as well as which ones you no longer give credence to and are ready to discard.

Here's some more advice on how to distinguish your true self from your false self

4. Choose to be the adult to rekindle authenticity

When you were young, you were easily molded, but now that you are an adult investigating your own inner landscape, you will soon become aware of discrepancies buried in your beliefs. If you catch yourself making a racist, sexist or other derogatory remark, ask yourself whether you believe yourself to be racist, sexist or whatever. Be sure to look for the source of that attitude. It's often a racist or sexist friend or family member. Once you have identified the discrepancy between what you believe and the comment that just surfaced, know that you can change the false beliefs as long as you are not blind to them. If you acknowledge what is true for you now, then you can release the false belief. That means living one's life according to the needs of your inner being and not according to the demands of society, nor according to the programming from your childhood. That kind of authenticity requires the vigilance of an adult perspective.

Here's a video with some reminders that can help you stay authentic

5. Examine your doubts to rekindle authenticity

When exploring your past for seeds of divergence from your "Authentic Self", you may feel unsure of how to go about it. You may question whether it's even possible to change what feels so deeply ingrained within you or is invisible to you. But where there's a will, there's a way. If you are tired of feeling partly "fake", slightly insincere, or somewhat out-of-focus with who you know yourself to be, or you are shocked to hear comments you do not believe emerge from your own mouth, it's usually because some kind of pressure was exerted upon you in the past to make you believe and behave in proscribed ways. Such ways were acceptable to your family or friends, your teachers or preachers, your business associates or whoever was paying you for some service.

You probably weren't aware of it at the time, but they did not have your best interests in mind. They were serving their own interests. Doubts can be like breadcrumbs that lead you to explore places within, where you may have felt impelled to develop adaptive behaviors. Once you identify adaptive behaviors, you can change them. So when doubts arise, follow them within to find whatever it is that is buried there, and resolve to change those beliefs consciously, now that you see how they no longer represent who you truly are.

6. Develop the courage to face your fears to rekindle authenticity

Humans tend to be most comfortable with what is familiar. The unfamiliar is often challenging, at least at first. Examining your inner core beliefs can be like exploring a foreign landscape you are unfamiliar with. When you touch upon a belief that is suspect, your heart may race or your hands could get clammy. You may naturally feel afraid to look too deeply into yourself.

​Yes, it can be scary. Especially if there was any form of abuse in your past, you may find that you are reluctant to look at the most painful moments of your life. There is often fear attached to those memories, so you naturally avoid reviewing them. However, the secrets of how and why you lost pieces of your authenticity is usually hidden behind or within those fears. So as much as possible, courageously face your fears and the beliefs that trigger that fear. Remember, this is about expanding your consciousness by removing blind spots. Penetrate the veil of your fears and own them. Learn their secrets. As you reclaim the courage to examine your fears and what caused them, you are reclaiming parts of your "Authentic Self".

7. Explore your relationship with money to rekindle authenticity

At first this suggestion may feel unrelated to authenticity. But in this materialistic world, money drives many of our most important decisions. Would you apply to work for a company that pays well but behaves in ways you consider immoral? Would you work for a corporation making deadly weapons or pesticides, or doing work that aggravates climate change, or promotes drugs that lead to addiction, or rips old people off financially? Would you lie on your resume to get that job? Then, assuming you got the job, would you feel like you must do whatever is asked of you to justify the amount of money you receive from your employer? Would you speak up if some ethical breach were revealed? These questions are intricately related to money issues and how they can steal our authenticity, so reflect deeply upon them to know yourself better.
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In contrast, integrity, ethics, moral character and being 100% truthful are measures of real authenticity. Such qualities may not bring you the biggest paycheck, but they may deepen your sense of meaning and contribution to your society in an honorable way. Please realize that if you choose the authentic path, you may have to sacrifice something along the way. It is a choice of character whether to take the material path or the authentic path. Ask yourself if you are willing to live a life of principle, and be honest as you explore imaginary situations where you might have to choose between great wealth or good character. This may require some deep soul searching.

8. Love yourself and have compassion for others to rekindle authenticity

You CAN change, and become more loving and more authentic, but it takes self-examination to rout-out the falsehoods planted within your subconscious. And, it is extremely important to love yourself throughout this process! Because it takes self-love to do this work, embedding more love and compassion within yourself is helpful. ​​

One way to increase your love quotient is to set aside some time aside to take numerous deep breaths each day. You can add this into an existing meditation practice if you like.

Slowly deepen your breathing and when you are feeling fully relaxed and receptive, call love to yourself from your environment. Imagine each breath infused with loving energy. ​Whether as balls of energy, or bursts, or rays of light and love, invite love to enter your body via your breath. Draw love into your lungs and disperse it throughout your body, or send it to your heart if you prefer. Keep breathing consciously until you feel the lightening and lifting energy of these "love breaths". (You can imagine being helped by loving Angels or other higher beings if that assists you). Take several deep loving breaths, expanding and receiving that love energy gratefully into your being. Once filled with love, feel free to share some of it with friends or loved ones, or send some love to those who need it most. It won't diminish you. Sending love to others tends to augment the love within!
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It is not easy for most of us to love ourselves, nor is it easy to acknowledge one's our "flaws", but if we can open our hearts and have compassion for others, it will be easier to have compassion for ourselves as well. We are now living in times of accelerated evolution, so we are capable of improving ourselves little by little over time. Keep breathing in love to fill yourself and your world with more love and compassion.

9. Recognize that developing authenticity takes time

Examining our deeply-seated beliefs is a process, perhaps a life-long process at that. After you have spent several hours observing yourself and delving into your beliefs and behaviors, it should be clear that this process will take some time. After all it takes quite awhile to winnow out beliefs and behaviors that no longer serve you and replace them with more authentic memes over time. Authenticity requires self-awareness as you navigate your beliefs to be sure that you are in genuine alignment with your true self.

10. Release patterns and beliefs that no longer serve you to rekindle authenticity

When you come across an opinion or belief that you cannot support anymore, it is important to let the old belief go. Visualization is good for this. You can place the belief within a bubble or a balloon and let it rise until it disappears. Or if you are more hands-on, you can write the old belief on a piece of paper, cross it out and burn the paper in a little ceremony where you verbally ask that this old belief be lifted from you or released back to where ever it came from. If you prefer, you can bury it.

Perhaps you'd rather hunt for a stone to represent any false beliefs you come across. You could paint a symbol of the false belief or bad behavior habit on the stone and then bury it or plant a flower or a tree above it to exemplify further transformation.
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Now write (or just think of) a corresponding positive statement of belief that you can live with now. Perhaps you choose to write this newly affirmed belief on paper and place it in a silver box, or tape it to a mirror or magnetize it to your refrigerator. Place it somewhere you can see it, or find it when you want to work on beliefs, and repeat the "new" belief when you do. This will solidify and anchor your new belief into your subconscious to replace the old one you released. This will also help clarify and affirm your "Authentic Self".

11. Ask yourself what you truly believe

One approach to the challenge of authenticity is to root out anything that is not truly you. Another pro-active approach is to simply start with pad and paper (or it can be a mental exercise) and begin listing your beliefs about yourself, beliefs like "I am not good enough" or "Nobody loves me" or "I'm stupid, fat, ugly, etc." Keep adding to your list any negative beliefs that comes to mind and realize that the subconscious uses these beliefs as directives, so they become self-fulfilling prophesies. Then examine each one, expand upon it, and think back to how and when you acquired that belief, who gave it to you, why you continue to hold on to it, and whether it represents "the you" you want to put forward today.
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Now create positive alternatives to those negative beliefs you unearthed, such as "I AM good enough", or "I am drawing to myself a partner who loves and respects me", or "I am perfect just as I am", etc. Is this new belief different from what you used to believe? If so, be sure to remove the old belief you no longer hold. Contradictory beliefs will cancel each other out. Consciously and purposefully let go of any derogatory beliefs (in ways described in the paragraph above). Repeat the beliefs you feel sure of and use them as positive affirmations for awhile. This is a good way to help rekindle your authenticity.

Passions are a type of knowledge built into our bodies. Learn more with this video

12. Take it slow to rekindle your authenticity

Do not try to do too much all at once. Be aware that when working with buried memories and painful incidents from your past, these can trigger disturbing thoughts that can linger for days. Sometimes we are shocked by what we discover within our subconscious that has been hidden, operating on automatic pilot in secret. Such sudden new raw awareness can disrupt our lives in unexpected ways. So use moderation and proceed cautiously. When you discover a belief or memory that shakes up your world, allow a few days for you to adjust to your new realizations and view them with self-compassion. Becoming whole and authentic takes increasing self-awareness as well as continuing to work to rid yourself of false beliefs for however long a time it takes. An annual review of your beliefs is helpful as well. That will help you notice the progress you have made over time.

How To Maintain Authenticity

Now that you've got a better sense of how be authentic, here's how to stay authentic.

13. Tell the truth and make it a habit

This is such a simple suggestion and yet it makes a huge difference! It's so easy to fall into a pattern of lying for convenience sake, to further some agenda, to cover up some embarrassment, to say we have already done something we intend to do, but haven't yet. These seem like "little white lies" that do not hurt anything. However, the more little lies we tell, the less truthful we are, which means dwindling authenticity. How can others respect us if we can't be trusted to tell the truth? So work on eliminating those little white lies.

14. Make statements and decisions consciously

In this hectic world, we are making decisions all the time. Unfortunately, a lot of these decisions are made hastily in the moment with no forethought. But decisions can have substantial consequences. You owe it to yourself to consider impacts and consequences BEFORE you make a decision so that you don't have to backtrack later. Don't let anyone push you into making a consequential decision before you are ready.

15. Be accountable

​When you speak, you want others to hear what you say and consider it. But for others to take you seriously, they have to believe what you say. This only happens when you have been consistently authentic about who you are, what you value and where you intend to focus your energy and attention. When you have proven to others that you are responsible, that you can be trusted, and that your ideas have creative value and should be considered, perhaps along with other peoples' suggestions, then you are being accountable and authentic.

16. Develop your personal power in authentic ways

​When you are new to a situation, you may feel somewhat insecure or unfamiliar with what may be expected of you. By observing who does what and how well they do it too, by laying low until you have learned "the ropes", by offering input into conversations only after you have acquired a level of expertise that can add something valuable to the discussion, only then will you be prepared to offer your best. This way you will begin to earn respect from your superiors and peers alike because you do not come from ego or wanting attention, but from sincerity and authenticity. This will open the door for people wanting to hear what you have to say, rather than being shunned as a "big mouth" who adds little to the conversation. Your personal power is built gradually over time as you stand in your integrity and authenticity.

17. Continue to monitor yourself

There are times when we are actively searching the self for clues about what is true for us, what beliefs need to be eliminated or developed, or how we can be our "best self", etc. During other times, Life simply takes over and we stop examining the self because we are busy living our lives, which can be very demanding at times. This is to be expected, but if we can keep a behind-the-scenes monitor that remains self-aware at all times, we will be in a position to catch those "off moments" when something is surfacing that we are not proud of. Even if we have no time to examine what's going on in depth at the moment it happens, we can bring it up for evaluation and review later, when we can take the time to more thoroughly examine what our 24-hour-a-day monitor has turned up.
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So when you catch yourself saying or doing something that doesn't quite resonate with your inner truth, make a note to self to research the offending issue in depth, where it came from and whether it's time to replace that behavior or belief with something more authentic. Keep that mental watcher working in the background while fully immersed in life's activities so that you can continue to build your authenticity.

Here's 10 more ways to be you

Take Authenticity To The Next Level

Ok, so now you know how to live a more authentic life. Here's how to keep digging to bring out your completely authentic self.

18. Develop soul stewardship

Everyone starts this life with some sort of purpose, or at least certain lessons they will learn along the way. The more self-aware we can become, the more useful these experiences will be, because we can "learn our lesson" and move on, at least as concerns that particular type of situation. If we don't learn that lesson in one particular set of events, we may have to go through the same or slightly different versions of events as a "second chance" to learn that lesson. Some folks never "get it" and continue to require ever-more serious situations in which to learn their lessons. Unless they are committed to a personal growth path, they may continue to fail in a particular way. Yet if they grasp that they CAN change, and apply themselves to learning how to better cope with situations by acting with compassion and wisdom, they can master that type of situation. This is proper stewardship of their energies and beliefs.

Stewardship, or the proper management of resources, is easy to grasp in caring for the Earth. To be a steward of the Earth, you plant across slopes, thereby reducing erosion. If you water and tend your garden, your plants will grow. If you plant and properly care for your trees, eventually you will have fruit, shade and beauty around your homestead. This is good stewardship of the Earth. If you eat nutritious food, exercise, and maintain a positive attitude, you are likely to lead a long and healthy life. This is proper stewardship of the body. If you persevere on a project, you will eventually have it completed. This is stewardship of a business. If you continue to improve your own character, you will become a better person. This is Soul Stewardship, which is measured by authenticity. If you drink too much, smoke excessively, are a bully at work, you lack personal stewardship because you are not taking proper care of your body, your principles, nor are you contributing to your society.
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If you want to progress, you will need to learn each set of lessons presented to you before you can move on to higher teachings. If you do not do your daily homework of paying attention to what life has to teach you, you will continue repeating the same kinds of misdeeds over and over again until the consequences become so severe you have no choice but to change. Then you will pass your test and you can finally move on. To become a Soul Steward you must live your life conscientiously, and yes, authentically.

How to embrace your authentic self

19. Answer the "call of the authentic self"

​As you discover your own authenticity, your inner calling is more likely to be heard. Authenticity and Purpose are linked so that a deep sense of purpose can help you to express your authenticity; while developing authenticity will often help you discover your Purpose!

​You may discover the courage of your convictions, and want to burst forward with passion to accomplish some worthy goal that moves you deeply enough to champion some particular sort of positive change. You may have an invention you want to promote, a tour company you want to develop, or you may want to teach art to kids. Each of us is wired to certain preferences and projects we would like to see succeed, and it just may be that your voice can make a difference that really matters. If you feel inspired to express your authenticity in some particular way, don't let inexperience stop you. Gather your courage and GO FOR IT!

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Still looking to learn more about how to be authentic, check out this Ted Talk

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Why is it that women will only apply for a job when they meet ALL of the requirements, whereas men will apply for jobs when they often only meet half? There is a lot of research on how women underestimate their abilities and speak with less confidence about their accomplishments.

So, what can you do as a Successful Woman who Thinks Differently to start building confidence today? Valorie starts with an appraisal of the areas of our life where a lack of confidence might have prevented us from doing more. Maybe it's a job you never applied for, or maybe it's a relationship you didn't believe you were good enough to be in.

Upon reflection, you may see a pattern of inaction that played a part in your not seizing the moment. How we turn our thoughts into action is the antidote - and indeed a veritable definition of confidence - that Valorie is asking us to embrace.

It's about taking a small action NOW and trusting our talent and ability. Seeing confidence as part of a cycle that leads to action, which brings success, and with it, more confidence is the smart approach that will inspire you as a Successful Woman not just to Think Differently but to TAKE ACTION too. And remember, that action starts with one small achievable step. Please join us.

The definition I love most of confidence is that confidence is the stuff that turns our thoughts into action." ~ Valorie Burton
In This Episode:

How a lack of confidence can negatively impact your opportunities in life

The difference between living on purpose and living by accident

Learning to overcome a 'Then I will...' mindset

Understanding the cycle of confidence, action, and success

What does self-efficacy mean to you?

Valorie's podcasting journey as it pertains to confidence

How a personal trainer helped Valorie's consistency (which builds confidence)

Starting with the small wins - and building consistently from there

Coaching Questions:

Where are you when it comes to your confidence?

What is a goal that you have that you've been putting off?

What is a doable step or action you can take toward achieving that goal right now?

When could you take that step?

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Episode 13: A 3-Step Process to Increase Your Confidence Right Now - Valorie Burton

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Episode #13 A 3-Step Process to Increase Your Confidence Right Now Why is it that women will only apply for a job when they meet ALL of the requirements, whereas men will apply for jobs when

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#cocojones #blackwomen #empowerment #leader #motivational #inspirational #mindset #influencer #bossbabe #fyp #share #tiktok #strength 

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@lifeastyleisha
#cocojones #blackwomen #empowerment #leader #motivational #inspirational #mindset #influencer #bossbabe #fyp #share #tiktok #strength
♬ original sound - Tilo

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39 Black women inspirational quotes ideas in 2024 | inspirational quotes, quotes, life quotes

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Jan 22, 2024 - Explore Alica’s board “Black women inspirational quotes” on Pinterest. See more ideas about inspirational quotes, quotes, life quotes.