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What does it mean to have "thick skin?"

Usually, it means a person is able to take criticism, insults, and unpleasant information without getting too emotional and riled up about it.

A person who doesn't have thick skin can be very sensitive and over-reactive. You'll often find them yelling, crying, or being defensive whenever they feel they are being threatened by something.

But a person with thick skin knows how to stay calm under pressure. When they feel threatened, they know how to remain centered, and don't crumble or break apart emotionally when something doesn't go the way they want.

I believe having "thick skin" is an important part of emotional intelligence. It's about learning to manage your speech and actions, even when you feel the most negative and painful of emotions.

This article will teach you how to build thick skin and stop being so sensitive.

Highly sensitive people
I consider myself a highly sensitive person (HSP). Some of you reading this may be considered one too. Psychologists say this describes about 1 in 5 people, and the most common traits include:

Depth of processing: HSP often need more time to process information from their environment.

Over arousal: HSP often become more reactive and aroused on an emotional and physical level.

High empathy: HSP are often very empathic and are frequently experiencing other people's emotions from a first person perspective.

Sensitivity to subtle stimuli: HSP often pick up certain information that wouldn't be noticed by others.

Psychologists believe much of the differences in people who are highly sensitive can be contributed to differences in how our nervous systems process information.

Have you ever watched someone embarrass themselves and you became just as embarrassed as them? Maybe you even began blushing yourself, even though you didn't do anything? This "secondary embarrassment" can often be a sign that you are a highly sensitive person.

Clearly, there are many benefits to being a HSP. They can often connect with others easily and be more kind and understanding toward everyone, as well as more introspective and creative.

However, sometimes this high sensitivity can also become tiresome, unhealthy, and counterproductive.

"Turning down" your sensitivity
When you are too sensitive, it often means you are focusing too much on information that shouldn't really matter to you. Sometimes it's better to "turn down" your sensitivity a little.

Someone may say to you, "Damn, your band really sucks" and you can't stop thinking about it because it bothers you so much. Maybe you want to yell at them, or punch them, or tell them how much their band sucks.

But this is all too sensitive and over-reactive, and there is nothing positive you can really do with what they say but let go of it and move on. Who cares what that one person thinks?

Too much sensitivity can stop you from following your goals and passions in life - because you are too concerned with how other people think of you, and you're not comfortable just being yourself despite the negative judgments.

If you look at most successful people in life, they will often have a layer of thick skin that desensitizes them from this type of unhelpful criticism and hate.

In fact, the more successful you are, often the more criticism you have to tolerate on a daily basis - which means the thicker your skin is going to have to be.

Sometimes, living your life means ignoring what people think and just "not giving a fuck." There's times to be empathic and sensitive, but there's also times to just let go and not care so much.

"Sometimes, living your life means ignoring what people think and just 'not giving a fuck.'"

How to build thick skin
Here are key strategies to use when trying to build "thick skin" in your life. Try them out, be patient with yourself, and you'll often find it easier to manage your emotions toward things that make you feel threatened and uncomfortable.

Practice silence - You don't have to respond to everything people say or do. Silence is one of the main actions of those with "thick skin." They just let other people's words and actions pass by them and don't give them a second thought.

Invite more criticism - Actively invite more criticism into your life. Ask people, "What did you think?" Learn to not take what they say personally. The more criticism you receive, the more feedback you get, but also the more desensitized you become to it overall. It becomes a normal part of growth.

Go outside of your "comfort zone" - Try exposing yourself to things that you aren't comfortable with or don't think you like. Even if it's just watching a type of movie you think you'll hate, or listening to a genre of music you think you can't stand, or watching a political show you usually disagree with - you'll learn to become more tolerant of things that go against your preferences (and maybe even learn to find things you like about them).

Pay attention to things that offend you - When you find yourself feeling offended or threatened by something, ask yourself, "What about this really bothers me?" The answer may help you see that you are over-reacting.

Avoid exaggerating thinking - Often times when people seem too sensitive, it's because they are taking part in some type of exaggerated thinking. They are taking a small situation and turning into something much bigger than it is in the grand scheme of things.

Trust yourself - Don't seek people's approval all of the time. Remember that the only thing that really matters is your own approval. Trust yourself more to do the right things and make the right decisions in your life.

These suggestions will help you build thick skin in your daily life, and not be as sensitive and threatened as you usually are over everything people say and do.

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How to Build Thick Skin and Stop Being So Sensitive

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What does it mean to have "thick skin?" Usually, it means a person is able to take criticism, insults, and unpleasant information without getting too emotional and riled up about it. A person who doesn't have thick skin can be very sensitive and over-reactive.

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Have you ever wondered how some people seem to accomplish their goals effortlessly?

Or, how some people seem to get promoted or recognized while you work nights and weekends without recognition?

Or even how some people make work look easy, while you feel like you can't get on top of your email?

How do these magical people do it?

How do they seem to reach big goals while you stay stuck?

If you've struggled with these questions, you aren't alone!

But fortunately, I have some good news: The solution to making your goals come true starts with athletes. No really--stick with me (even if you hate sports).

I found myself in an internet hole recently and came across quite a few articles on how athletes prepare for big events (here's one if you're curious, and here's another.

Short of all of the lucky socks, stretching, moments of silence, it all boils down into one word: routine.

They all have a specific routine that gets them in the right physical, mental, emotional frames of mind to compete and keep moving forward. These people don't have to worry about how to succeed, they just have to trust the routine and execute.

Why is that?

It's hard to both plan to do something, and then actually do it. The simple act of planning takes brain power and discipline, which means you have less of both when it comes time to follow-through--making following through much harder.

If you take the planning out of the equation, all you have to do is rely on your routine to push you forward.

So, here's a question for you: How is your own routine helping you move forward in your career?

Or maybe my question should be this: Is your routine helping you plan and achieve your career goals?

If your answer's "Yes!", well then you skip Go and collect $200. But if it's more along the lines of, "Hm, my routine isn't really helping me" then keep reading!

When I was a full-time consultant, I was miserable and ready to quit and do something-- anything-- else. I had a bunch of ideas and plans, but no real momentum, and I kept putting off things that I knew were important instead of buckling down. I wasn't making the kind of progress that I wanted.

And then I changed my routine. The first thing I did was look at my goal: Launch my own business. The second thing I did was examine what kind of habits I'd need to build into my schedule to do that.

For example, I dedicated one night a week to writing all of my blogs and one night a week to networking for the blog. I didn't worry about doing anything but what I had planned for those two nights--writing and networking. Done and done.

Having a plan and routine that I was following had the beneficial effect of also making me less afraid of the future.

I was taking action and that took away a lot of my fear.

With more confidence (and less fear) I expanded my routine even further.

Was it hard? Of course! It definitely took some effort on my mind.

But the effort was worth it, because my routine also made me less worried about reaching my big goals. Instead, all I had to do was follow it to make progress.

And all of that progress led me to quitting a job and starting a full-time business helping people with their careers (one that is not only fun, but even more lucrative than my fancy-pants consulting job).

So now, imagine where a new routine could lead you!

To begin, write down your goal. Anywhere you can see it and in any form. Then, write down the steps you'd have to take to make it happen. Finally, take a look at your calendar and ask yourself: What can you add, subtract, or change to start working through step one.

Maybe it's adding a certain block of networking time each week. Maybe it's setting aside one or two nights to work on your career learning and invest in your education. Maybe it's attending one conference or outside meeting every other month. Maybe it's getting more sleep, not checking your email first thing in the morning, or eating better so that you have more energy to devote to your career.

Maybe--and this was a lifesaver for me--it's investing in dry shampoo to save time in the morning.

Once you make completing step one a part of your routine, it'll be so much easier to check it off the list. And once that's done, you can use that same allotted time to tackle step two, then three, and so on.
--This post originally appeared on the The Muse.

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Here's the Secret to Getting Things Done

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Have you ever wondered how some people seem to accomplish their goals effortlessly? Or, how some people seem to get promoted or recognized while you work nights and weekends without recognition? Or even how some people make work look easy, while you feel like you can't get on top of your email?

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How to Decipher Your Shortcomings (and Learn From It)

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Leadership expert Marshall Goldsmith tells a personal lesson he learned early about how to discover true personal deficits.

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Hello classmates! Interested to step forward on the topic we were discussing in class -how to overcome shortcomings- I ran across this material that can help us by knowing a little bit more about our shortcomings, dealing and learning how to cope them and get the best of us at any situation that seems difficult or makes to show up the worst of us. The first video is about the importance to acknowledge certain shortcomings that likely we are not aware of by watching ourselves in a mirror but other people can see in us; receiving feedback from others, the advice we can we can get from them, and a clever reflection we could do from this would help to improve ourselves.

The second, an article, is a special one for procrastinators (procrastination-that evil monster living in our inside). This short article exposes a strategy taken from athletes which is about how creating a routine can allow us to achieve our goals. And the third, another article, is special for all those who are oversensitive (as me); it gives some tips that may help you not to overreact and take everything around you so personal.