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Experiences of racism

Racism can happen anywhere. It can happen at school, at work or at home; it can happen online or in-person; it can even happen within families and relationships.

Sometimes racist abuse is obvious - for example, verbal abuse about the way someone looks, stereotypes about how someone might behave, or physical violence and bullying. Sometimes racism is part of the structures and systems that we live in. And sometimes it is 'subtle' and difficult for other people to notice.

Your child may also experience racism 'indirectly' - as the things going on around us, to people just like us, can feel like they have happened to us and make us feel personally attacked, helpless, or like our lives don't matter.

Racism, directly or indirectly, touches every person of colour and has an effect on our mental health.

The important thing for you and your child is how you see the situation and how it makes you feel - not what other people think or say about it.
We can spend a lot of time wondering whether we have been badly or unfairly treated because of our skin colour, race or ethnicity, or for some other reason, and it's not always totally clear. This can make us feel confused or even foolish for talking about our experiences, especially if the people we are talking to have never had to ask themselves these sorts of questions.

Sometimes, even when we are convinced we have experienced racist treatment, people around us might try to tell us we've got it wrong. This can feel very lonely and isolating. But remember, you are not alone and your feelings are valid.

If your child is struggling with the impact of racism on their mental health or wellbeing, there are things you can do to help them - including providing emotional support, working on practical strategies together and finding the right professional help if they need it.

How to support your child with their experiences of racism

Talking to your child about racism can feel like a difficult conversation, and it may bring up feelings of confusion, anger, hopelessness or isolation for you or your child. If you are feeling unsure about the conversation, you can read our guide to find lots of tips on starting a conversation with your child.

This can help them to feel empowered, reminding them that what they are experiencing is not okay and that no one should believe it is. You or your child can report any hate crime online via the True Vision website.

If you're experiencing racism online, reporting it is perfectly reasonable and the right thing to do because racial discrimination is illegal.

Young people tell us it helps to...

go on a social media detox - your mental health is important

take time for some self-care and do something for yourself - such as reading a book, playing a video game or watching some TV

do your research on your history and learn to love yourself and other people of your race

not put pressure on yourself - this is a problem you cannot solve on your own

talk to other people you trust

join a movement to create change

find supportive groups and communities who understand what you are going through

do physical exercise

learn mindfulness and yoga

speak up to your parents or other family members or even friends if they're being racist - you should never be afraid to speak up about something if it's wrong

It is the world that's wrong, not you. So embrace your identity and love what makes you, you.

Signs that racism is affecting your child's mental health

It is normal if your child's experiences of racism - whether big or small, constant or one-off, direct or indirect - affect their self-esteem or make them feel angry, low or hopeless. When they're going through this, validate just how difficult it is, reassure them they're not alone and remind them that while it might feel difficult to believe, things can get better.

If your child is struggling with their mental health over a longer period of time, they may need some more support - from you and from professionals if needed. If experiences of racism are more seriously affecting your child's mental health, they may:

have a continuously low mood, depression or low self-esteem

feel numb or empty inside

experience changes to their sleeping or eating habits

show changes to their mood and behaviour that feel out of the ordinary

feel worried or anxious a lot of the time

have a negative attitude towards their body image or ethnic identity relating to skin tone, hair texture, or the size and shape of facial and bodily features

experience flashbacks or intrusive thoughts about a traumatic incident

If your child is experiencing some of these things, it's a good idea to speak to your GP. You can find our tips on finding professional help below.

There is currently a huge discrepancy in racial equality which is why I think it's really important that we battle racism, so that everyone can live without fear or prejudice.

Where to find professional help

There are different places where you can find help for your child. Your GP, your child's school and considering whether counselling or therapy might help are good places to start.

You can find out more about speaking to GPs, finding a counsellor or therapist, accessing CAMHS, getting help from your child's school and finding local services on our guide to getting support from mental health services.

What can I do if I think a mental health professional is being racist?

Any mental health professional who you are interacting with has a duty of care to do their best to support you. If you are not happy with how a mental health professional is behaving towards you, you have a right to speak out.

How to raise a complaint:

Every NHS service provider (such as your GP or local hospital) has their own complaints procedure. You can find information on making a complaint on your service provider's website, in waiting rooms, or by talking to a member of staff.

You can choose to complain to the NHS service provider directly, or to the commissioner of the services, which is the body that pays for the NHS services you use.

You can make a complaint verbally, in writing, or by email.

Once you have made a complaint, you should expect an acknowledgement and the offer of a discussion about the handling of your complaint within working days.

Visit the NHS webpage on making complaints for more guidance.

If you need help and support with making a complaint, you can contact your local NHS Complaints Advocacy service. This is a free and confidential service, independent from the NHS. Contact your local council to find out who the advocacy provider is in your area.

Tips for looking after yourself as a parent

Where to find further support

Useful helplines and websites

While we take care to ensure that the organisations we signpost to provide high quality information and advice, we cannot take responsibility for any specific pieces of advice they may offer. We encourage parents and carers to always explore the website of a linked service or organisation to understand who they are and what support they offer before engaging with them.

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Racism & Mental Health | Guide For Parents

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If your child experiences racism, it can negatively affect their mental health. Here are some ways you can support them and places you can get help.

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Talking to your child about racism-The Diana Award

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Talking to your child about racism-The Diana Award

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It’s important to have open and honest conversations with your child/ward about racism. For older children, you could ask what they know about the Black Lives Matter and other race-related movements and what they’ve heard from others such as their friends or teachers. Use active listening (i.e. fully concentrate and respond to what is being said) and try to hold these conversations in a calm environment – while they’re rushing out the door for school or worrying over homework is probably not the best time! Instead, why not hold the conversation over dinner or on a car journey? Show you are curious and open to their thoughts by asking open questions like ‘what is your opinion on this?’ and ‘is there anything you think we could talk through together?’.

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While there is no one-size-fits-all approach, the earlier parents start the conversation the better.

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"I am struggling with the racist bullying I get at school... I feel like everyone is against me. School is a quite an isolating place and nobody has ever stood up for me.

"I don't really want to address it to the school because that'll create more drama and it will make more people turn against me and my school life will be even more miserable. I'd rather the school did a talk about racism and its history."*

*Girl, aged 12.

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Advice to help parents or concerned adults understand how to talk to children about race and racism, and what you can do to support a child who's experiencing racial bullying.

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It's illegal to treat people differently because of their race or culture. If it happens to you, remember - no one has the right to make you feel bad or abuse you for who you are.

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What you can do

1. Tell someone what's happening. This could be your teacher or your manager at work. They can help to make changes or support you.

2. Follow policies or guidelines. Your school or employer have a duty to protect you from. discrimination. Find out about their discrimination policy so that you can report what's happened.

3. Keep a record. Messages, videos or a diary of what's been happening can help when telling an adult or be used as evidence.

4. Keep telling. You may have to speak out more than once about what's happening. It's okay to tell someone else if you don't feel it's being taken seriously.

5. Tell the police. If you feel threatened or a crime has been committed you can speak to the police on 999 in an emergency or 101 at other times.

This is crime which includes prejudice or discrimination. You might be assaulted or have your belongings damaged. Hate crime is where the person focuses on your:

disability

race or ethnicity

religion or beliefs

sexual orientation

gender identity.

It's still a hate crime if someone makes an assumption about your identity. For example, if someone does something because they think you're Muslim.

Hate crime can happen online, in the street, at school, college, work or at home. You might feel frightened, threatened or angry about the abuse. Remember, hate crime is wrong and is never your fault. If you think you may be the victim of hate crime you can report it to the police on 999 in an emergency and 101 at other times.

Facts about hate crime

Race hate crime includes all countries within the UK.

Refugees and asylum seekers can get support if they experience hate crime.

Both majority and minority groups are covered by the law.

There can be an increase in racially or religiously aggravated crimes after incidents like terrorist attacks. Remember, the police are there to protect you.

People can get a longer sentence for hate motivated crime.

A stereotype is an idea or assumption about a group of people. Stereotypes are not based on fact. Instead, stereotypes are based on opinions or feelings. Stereotypes can lead to prejudice and discrimination.

Stereotypes are often negative and assume everyone in a certain group is the same or acts the same way. All groups are made up of people who have different personalities, strengths and weaknesses.

Being treated differently because of a stereotype, like someone assuming your sexuality based on the clothes you wear, is a type of discrimination. Even when the assumption isn't true it's still discrimination. Discrimination can also happen through someone you know, like not being able to access a shop with a family member who is disabled.

Everyone makes assumptions and your views are influenced by the opinions of your family, friends, community and the media. The opinions you hear a lot can have a big effect on what you believe and you might not question them.

You may not be aware of the assumptions that you make. Try listening to other views by talking to people outside of your social group at school or college, talking on the message boards or searching for information online that you wouldn't normally look for.

Prejudice is having a biased or unfair opinion about a group of people which isn't based on fact. Prejudice could be against a certain ethnicity, young or old people, men, women, people with religious beliefs, people who don't have a religion, or people with a disability.

A person who doesn't want a certain group of people living near them is showing prejudice.

Sometimes bullying includes discrimination, like if someone picks on you because of your race or sexuality. Sometimes people discriminate without realising what they're doing, like making racist jokes or calling someone insulting names. Whether it's done on purpose or not, bullying and discrimination is always wrong.

Harassment is behaviour which frightens you and causes you distress or alarm. You might experience unwanted phone calls, broken windows or online abuse and feel humiliated, offended or threatened.

You can be harassed by a stranger or by someone you know. There needs to be 2 or more incidents by the same person or group of people to be classed as harassment.

If you think you're being harassed because of your disability, race, religion, transgender identity or sexual orientation, you can report it to the police as a hate crime.

Watch: Women's Rights ft. Candysomething

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What you can do Tell someone what's happening. This could be your teacher or your manager at work. They can help to make changes or support you. Follow policies or guidelines. Your school or employer have a duty to protect you from. discrimination. Find out about their discrimination policy so that you can report what's happened.

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What is Race discrimination ? We explain its definition, areas covered and what constitutes discrimination.

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Hate crimes and hate incidents can hurt people and leave them feeling confused and frightened. By reporting hate crimes a person may be able to prevent these incidents happening to somebody else. It will also help the police understand the extent of hate crime in your local area so they can better respond to it.

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Don't miss the opportunity to showcase the work your organisation is doing to drive race equality.

Ambition: A UK-wide collaboration of thousands of organisations and millions of employees creating change to achieve Race Equality in our workplaces.

Solutions

Explore free and impactful solutions to help you tackle racial inequality. These solutions are supporting organisations from different sectors across the UK and beyond to drive real change.

Events

Learn about what works at our series of free virtual events. You will have the opportunity to collaborate with peers and hear from experts who are driving change.

Jobs

Discover new job opportunities or advertise new job roles. Organisations from a variety of sectors, committed to attracting ethnically diverse talent, post a variety of job roles.

Support the Cause

Help us to continue our push for change; our ambition is to continue to do our work for years to come.

Race Equality Matters
Mission: To remove barriers and provide the solutions to tackle race inequality.
Now is the time. Change is in our hands. It's everyone's business.

We will not produce reports or create charters, but we will create solutions, share what works, and proactively work with collaborating organisations, networks, individuals, and experts to implement the change our community seeks.
Join our community and become part of the movement. Registration is free, and your participation is our only requirement.

Why Us

How we're making a difference

What we are talking about.

Key Partners & Co-headline Partners Powering Race Equality Week

Our Partners

A not-for-profit community interest company, Race Equality Matters is founded and supported by diversity champions. Here are some of them.

The Need

The Big Promise was a real success for us and the group are very active now with their comments, ideas etc. It has created a safe space where staff feel able to speak up. We have talked a lot about...[Read More]

I'm passionate about helping football to be a game where people of all backgrounds feel welcome and included from the terraces to the pitch, to the boardroom. Race Equality Matters also shares this vision, so we're looking forward to working...[Read More]

Trailblazers strikes me as an effective development to not just encourage and reward those doing the great work, but also to forge a platform for shared learning and collaborative innovation.

Why do we need Race Equality Week? Quite simply because we do not have race equality and, until we do, we have to do everything we can to achieve it through the kind of action and collaboration that Race Equality...[Read More]

Race Equality Week has the potential to be game-changing in the way it combines conscious allyship with a strong peer network - we've seen how powerful this combination can be in other scenarios and it's exciting to see it applied...[Read More]

4%

Said their organisation tackles race inequality really well.

61%

Said their organisation does not focus on action, change and impact.

8%

Said the majority of allies make an impact.

Our Solutions

Race Equality Week

We created Race Equality Week to turn words into meaningful action.

Race Equality Week is a UK-wide initiative. It was spurred on by the events of 2020, which heightened the country's collective consciousness of the racism, inequality, and injustice experienced by ethnically diverse communities.

Held during the first week of February each year, Race Equality Week unites thousands of organisations in action to seriously address race inequality in the workplace.

Tea Break

Tea Break provides the framework and opportunity for an organisation to hear the honest voice and feelings of its colleagues about race inequality.

All employees are invited to a one-hour themed online discussion about an issue that matters.

Tea Break sessions enable courageous conversations. Evidence shows that within the hour, what colleagues are thinking and how they are feeling will become apparent. This gives the organisation and its senior management insights and the opportunity to address concerns and issues that are being shared.

Safe Space Plus

Safe Space Plus provides a protected environment that allows brave conversations to happen. In such an environment, conversations that are often uncomfortable and avoided, instead generate action-focused, meaningful and tailored outcomes, driven by the people they matter to.

Safe Space Plus will help you achieve facilitated, meaningful dialogue between ethnically diverse employees and Board/EXCO members, who must be willing to make a commitment, take action, and address the key issues that are raised.

#Mynameis

Your name is more than just a name. It's part of your heritage, identity and pride. But all over the world, names are mispronounced. And regardless of the reason, it's hurtful to those affected.

That is why Race Equality Matters launched #MyNameIs which helps people share their real names by translating them to phonetics and encourages people to ask if they are not sure how to pronounce someone's name.

It is a rally cry for organisations to standardise these phonetic spellings in email signatures and throughout their business.

Share your name, share your story.

Trailblazers

The Trailblazer series spotlights forward-thinking organisations that are implementing impactful solutions to drive race equality.

It was developed in response to regular requests from people who wanted to know which organisations were successfully taking action and making an impact on race equality. It can be awarded either through adopting one of REM's solutions or by employing long-term initiatives to tackle racial inequality.

Trailblazer status is more than an award; it shines a light on organisations that are about #ActionNotJustWords.

The Big Promise

The Big Promise is a commitment to action, not just words.

Individuals make a public commitment, which is measurable and to which they will be held accountable, to create a positive change.

Participants choose from seven meaningful actions devised by our ethnically diverse community, forming a bridge between lived experience, investment, and decision-making.

Join the hundreds who made their Big Promise during Race Equality Week!

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Ambition: A UK wide collaboration of thousands of organisations and millions of employees creating change to achieve Race Equality in our workplaces.