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Hey Jihan of tomorrow,

It’s the same old you—still overthinking, still soft-hearted, and still hungry (probably).The same girl sitting in this classroom, zoning out and thinking about lunch with Noynoy. Are we still together? I hope we are. I hope he still looks at you like you hold the stars, and I hope you still laugh together over the littlest things. I pray that love stayed kind to us both. But if it didn’t, I trust you chose peace.

I wish I could see you right now. There’s so much I want to ask. Are you okay? Have the flares lessened? Do your bones still ache like they’re carrying secrets? I hope not. I hope the pain isn’t as loud anymore. I hope your body feels like home now, not a battlefield. I know Lupus makes things heavy, I know because I’m still learning how to carry it without letting it weigh down my spirit. I hope you’ve found some peace in it. I hope your health is gentler with you now.

Are you still chasing the dream? The one where you wear that white coat and help people feel seen and safe. I know how much you wanted it. I know how many times you whispered to yourself, "One day i'll be the one helping not the one on the bed needing help".

Please tell me you didn’t give up. I know how much that dream meant to you. How it carried you through the days you felt like giving up. Tell me you did not give up, not because it got too hard. Not because you felt too small. You’ve always had the heart for healing. I hope you still do.

There have been so many moments where I wanted to quit. Where the weight of it all, my pain, my fears, my own thoughts, almost drowned me. I know you cry easily. I know you get hurt over small things you pretend don’t matter. I know you try to look strong in rooms where you feel invisible. But I hope now you allow yourself to feel it all without shame.

I hope you have found softness in your strength and grace in your grief. Because like the you of the past who is here writing to you, the one that kept going. And I pray you kept going too.

And if you’re tired again, if life feels too loud and you don’t know where to go next, I want you to sit down. Breathe. Remember how far we’ve come. This version of you, writing this now, still believes in you. Still loves you. Still sees something worth becoming. I'm rooting for you always.

So hold on.

Stay kind.

Keep blooming, even if it’s slow.

Always with you,

Jihan🤎

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I am Jihan Klaire C. Gopela

17 years old

Born on February 22, 2008

Pisces ♓︎

Born in Irosin, Sorsogon

Currently a grade 12 student at THE Ateneo de Davao University - Senior High School

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FUN FACTS:

The youngest child

A news writer

A big yapper

Major Foodie

Fave food: Pizza, Flavored Wings, Shrimps (though i have a minor allergy huhu) and recently discovered a major love for shawarma and fries!

Fave thing to do: Watch horror or thriller movies (I highly recommend Afflicted and Fractured)

Current kdrama watch: Head over heels (saur cutee!!!)

Cries when angry

Angry when people do not go by the plan (I'm working on my anger issues huhu)

Nonetheless, i love to love!

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Heyyy! It is I, Jihan yes, still me, still figuring life out in my own chaotic but charming way.
If I had to describe myself, I’d say I’m a mix of overthinking everything and pretending I’ve got it all together (I really don’t). I’m that friend who’s always laughing at the wrong moments, giving random advice like a tita-in-training, and crying over TikToks that aren’t even that sad — in short OA ko nga person. I may come off as a little too opinionated or maldita at first (blame my face, not my heart lol), but I swear I’m all soft inside. Although, I admit I can be a lotta bit maldita and bitchy when you get on my nerves hehe. However, I'm still the type to remember the little things you say, send you memes when you're down, and randomly ask if you’ve eaten just because. I feel things deeply, maybe too deeply, but I guess that’s what helps me connect with people in a real way. So if you're here reading this, thanks for joining me in this little corner of my brain.

That’s it for now. Chill lang, we're all a work in progress. Just like me, the good old Jihan. Still figuring it out. Still soft. Still loud. Still loving. But always, always growing. 🤎

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During this stage of my life, I sadly do not have any pictures left because it was taken away by a devastating flood we experienced. So enjoy these cute pics of my buchog baby cousins who my mom always says looks like me. Although no pictures are left, the memories and joy remain from stories my mom and dad tell about the baby me.

Achievements:

I was already a very social and joyful baby

I always smile and laugh

I know those who are close to me and smile when near them

Challenges:

I was a very maldita baby to others

I obviously still could not talk and tell my parents what I want

I was a very maiyakin baby

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During this stage of my life is definitely my parents' favorite stage. Where I was the most adorable and playful. I remember being such a loud child, I would even ask my neighbors if they heard my cries the night before which I refer to as my "concert" and if they did not I would definitely be louder the next time!

Achievements:

Could now walk and talk a bit

Confident

Could now do certain things on my own

Would always climb furniture

Playing make believe

Start to make friends

Challenges:

Sometimes a bit too loud

Sometimes overconfident

Short attention span

Slow speech development

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During this time I actually started attending school and making actual friends. However due to the nature of my father's work (air force) we always had to move so I never had a permanent friend. Nevertheless, my parents, ate and cousins always made my childhood so so fun.

Achievement

Can dress on my own

Make simple decisions alone

Can run and skip

Can write simple letters, words & numbers

Can now read really good

Meet and create friends

Challenges

Has a hard time adjusting

Only goes after food

Always cries when my mom leaves me at school

Can sometimes be a loner

Struggles with patience

Difficulty sharing toys or accepting losing in games

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During this stage was one of the hardest. As I have mentioned we always move due to my father's work. During this time one of the most important part of life I have already built strong and solid friends however everything changed as we had to move back to my mom's hometown. That is so so far from Lucena in CALABARZON going as far to Cateel which is here in Region 11 was a big change. I had to adjust and accept the change.

Achievement

Stayed consistent as the top 1 of our class and batch

Leadership roles like SPG secretary and president as well as in the classroom

Still made lots of friends

Started my journey towards journalism

Started joining competitions like quiz bees, DSPC, RSPC, festival of talents as well as pageants.

Build up myself

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The me of today has been through a lot but has been fighting through all the ups and downs. The biggest battle was with my illness, Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE) a chronic autoimmune disease where the immune system mistakenly attacks healthy tissues, causing widespread inflammation and damage to the skin, joints, kidneys, heart, and other organs. Living with SLE is an exhausting ordeal, as I learned firsthand. My days were filled with countless trips to the hospital, each visit a painful reminder of my condition. The physical toll was immense, simple procedures like inserting an IV felt like battles. I vividly remember one instance when the nurse attempted to place the IV, only for my vein to rupture, causing my blood to spurt out unexpectedly. It wasn’t just the physical pain of needles or the invasive tests, but the sense of vulnerability and helplessness that left me drained. The fatigue was unrelenting, as if my body was waging a war against itself, and each day felt like a test of endurance.

The struggles extended far beyond the physical realm. SLE took a heavy financial toll, with mounting medical bills and medication costs that my family often scrambled to cover. Emotionally, it left me feeling isolated and defeated, particularly as I struggled to keep up with schoolwork. It was nearly impossible to focus on lessons or assignments when my body was constantly betraying me. Falling behind academically felt like failing myself, compounding my stress and hopelessness. Spiritually, I grappled with questions of faith. I couldn’t understand why God would allow me to endure such suffering, and it chipped away at my belief in a higher purpose. The disease didn’t just attack my body; it tested my will, my relationships, and my sense of identity. Each day was a fight, not just for health but for hope. Today I am still in my hard fought journey towards healing and accepting the fact that this is true no matter how hard i try to run away from it.

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Achievements

Consistent Honor

Made lots of new friends

Learned to love

Learned patience, acceptance and passion

Still doing journalism (DSPC and RSPC)

Learned to be independent

Stayed consistent

Stayed loving

Challenges

My illness

Doubts

Pressure

Having fake friends

Going through things alone

Stuck on past traumas