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In this stage, babies develop trust and mistrust, enabling them to form intimate relationships and protect themselves. A balance between the two is very important for this stage. This occurs between infancy and 18 months.

At a very young age, I was extremely attached to my mother. I did not enjoy being separated from her, I would cry and cry if I had to be watched by someone other than my mother. According to the text, “A baby’s working model of attachment is related to Erikson’s concept of basic trust. Secure attachment reflects trust; insecure attachment, mistrust.” – pg. 54 Based on this, I sway more to the side of basic trust. I trusted my mother so much that it instilled a sense of attachment in me to her.

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Stage 2: Autonomy versus Shame and Doubt

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Stage 2: Autonomy versus Shame and Doubt

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Children at this stage are developing a better sense of self-control. This stage occurs between 18 months and 3 years of age.

At a young age, my mom and dad stopped doing everything for me. This instilled in me the ability to do things for myself which now as an adult I am not doubtful and don’t have low self-esteem. Their authoritative parenting style enabled me to be “self-reliant, self-controlled, self-assertive, exploratory, and content.” – p. 75 Because of this, I was able to resolve this conflict with autonomy.

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This stage -- which occurs between four and five years of age -- has to deal with a child and their ability to deal with conflicting feelings about them self.

One day when we were moving my grandpa into his new apartment, I was running around and jumping over his furniture and decorations. After a while, my dad told me not to jump over anything anymore. Well, I did it anyways. Because of this I was spanked, and I felt guilt and shame for deliberately disobeying my father. I was learning that some of things I wanted to do “meet social approval, whereas others do not.” – p. 72

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Between the age of 7-8 years, a child is in the Industry versus Inferiority stage. This stage determines a child’s self-esteem. This stage concerns how children view their ability to do productive work. Either they develop a lack of motivation, or they set goals and learn how to work hard to achieve these goals.

When I was 8, I realized that I wanted to try out for a select basketball team. I knew this would take time and commitment. As a result, I began to develop industry, I began “learning how to work hard to achieve goals.” – p. 93

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Stage 5: Identity versus Identity Confusion

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Stage 5: Identity versus Identity Confusion

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This stage occurs between 12-18 years. This stage is the chief task of adolescence. This stage has to deal with an identity forming – which stems from people resolving three major issues. These issues include the choice of an occupation, the adoption of values to live by, and the development of a satisfying sexual identity.

I remember not being allowed to take my iPod touch to school. I took it one day and lied to my parents about taking it. I ended up suffering the consequences of them finding out – they were more upset with me for deliberately lying to them than the decision I made to disobey them and take my iPod to school. This was a lesson I learned and have taken with me throughout life. Lying is something that I do not tolerate and it is a value of mine to tell the truth and be honesty. I live by this and this has stemmed from my experience of understanding the importance of not lying. Telling the truth has become a part of my identity and a value I have for myself. This ultimately laid “the groundwork for coping with the challenges of adult life.” – pg. 109

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This stage deals with the conflict of trying to develop intimate, loving relationships with other people and occurs between 19-40 years.

Because of the parenting style of my parents, I have been able to develop intimate and loving relationships with others. I am in a very serious, very vulnerable relationship that allows me to love without bounds and to be vulnerable with my significant other. I fully believe this stems from my parents who were “loving and accepting but also demand good behavior and are firm in maintaining standards.” -p. 75 As a result, I am able to be intimate with people.

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In this stage, we can develop a sense of being part of a bigger picture through our success, usefulness, and accomplishment. Or we can feel unproductive and become stagnant from failing to contribute. This occurs between the ages of 40-65 years of age.

I have not yet experienced this stage, but just as my parents have guided me through my life, I hope to do the same for my children. I intend on being a loving, caring, and nurturing mother who raises her children to be a part of something larger than themselves. This type of parenting allows me to develop generativity by affecting my children’s “competence in dealing with their world.” – p. 75

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At the end of life, between the age of 65 and death, people reflect over the way they lived and either feel a sense of fulfillment or a sense of regret.

I am intentional in the way that I love others and speak kindly. My faith is extremely important to me, and it affects how I live my life. I would like to think by the end of my life, people saw me as a light and as a loving person and that I impacted them by showing them the love of Christ in some way. If my life embodies what it looks like to love Christ, I know I will feel a sense of fulfillment and thus choose integrity. This stems from the identity I have developed, “a coherent conception of the self made up of goals, values, and beliefs to which the person is solidly committed.” – p. 109