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Poor sleep can negatively impact mood, cognitive function and overall wellbeing. Quality sleep is essential in maintaining optimal mental health. More advice can be found here, take a quiz to find out your sleep profile:

https://teensleephub.org.uk/teens-young-people/

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Tips for 11-18 year olds on improving your sleep

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If you are having trouble with sleep, our tips explain how to improve your sleep for now and how to sleep better in the long term.

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Statutory guidance for schools and colleges on safeguarding children and safer recruitment.

Details

This guidance applies to all schools and colleges and is for:

headteachers, teachers and staff

governing bodies, proprietors and management committees

It sets out the legal duties you must follow to safeguard and promote the welfare of children and young people under the age of 18 in schools and colleges.

All school and college staff should read part 1 of this guidance. Part 1 of the guidance is also available as a standalone document.

Statutory guidance sets out what schools must do to comply with the law.

Where the guidance states schools and colleges should do something, you should follow this unless you have a good reason not to.

'Regulated activity in relation to children: scope' describes work that a barred person must not do. We have also published guidance on disqualification under the Childcare Act 2006.

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Statutory guidance for schools and colleges on safeguarding children and safer recruitment.

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Child Bereavement UK & Winston's Wish are now one unified charity.

They also offer support through https://www.talkgrief.org/

More support can also be found here www.hopeagain.org.uk

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We help children, young people, parents, and families to rebuild their lives when a child grieves or when a child dies.

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Student Guide to Navigating Exam Stress

Preparing for Exams

Advice from Young People

Understanding Exam Stress

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Exam Stress | How To Deal with Exam Stress

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It's normal to feel a bit worried about exams, but sometimes they can make you feel anxious or depressed. Find out how you can deal with exam stress.

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Divorce and Separation - Supporting Children

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Divorce and Separation - Supporting Children

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How can I help my child through my divorce or separation?

Every child and young person's experience with the loss of their known family unit will be unique, but it can sometimes cause intense emotional distress.

In the immediate aftermath of a break-up, children's early responses can involve a number of defence behaviours, including: denial, disbelief, dissociation, hyperactivity, irritability and protest, alarm and panic. Over time, children may experience grief and display behaviours and emotions that indicate yearning and pining, sadness and depression, anger and hostility, anxiety, guilt, shame and despair. Even if children feel relieved at a family break-up where violence is a significant factor, most children will still feel some loss and grief.

There are things you can do to improve the way your child copes with the changes going on around them.

Things that may really make a difference:

Tips and advice from our Parents Helpline

Download our full Parents Helpline guide to divorce and separation

For more information and advice, you can download our full Parents Helpline guide to divorce and separation. The guide includes:

information about how children of different age groups may react to - and cope with - their parents divorcing or separating

advice on how you can support your child through a parental break-up

a list of helplines and services you can use

Supporting children through divorce or parental separation | YoungMinds Parents Lounge

The impacts of parental alienation and emotional abuse

A parent who turns their child against their other parent by bad-mouthing, belittling the other adult, limiting contact between them, forbidding discussion about them, creating the impression the parent does not love the child or forcing the child to reject the parent is becoming increasingly common and can do significant damage to children's mental health.

The Chief Executive of the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (CAFCASS), Anthony Douglas, recommended in February 2017 that parents who use this type of 'alienation' should be considered guilty of neglect or emotional abuse.

You may also find helpful...

Where to get further support

While we take care to ensure that the organisations we signpost to provide high quality information and advice, we cannot take responsibility for any specific pieces of advice they may offer. We encourage parents and carers to always explore the website of a linked service or organisation to understand who they are and what support they offer before engaging with them.

Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn't a mental health support service. If your child is in crisis right now and you want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

At YoungMinds we take your privacy seriously. If you'd like to read more about how we keep the information we collect safe, take a look at our privacy policy.

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Divorce & Young People's Mental Health | Parent Guide

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When parents divorce, it can have a big impact on a child's mental health. Read our advice on looking after your child's wellbeing through a separation.

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Exam Self-Care | Mental Health Advice For Students

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It’s important to look after your mental health while revising for exams, but how can you do this? Our Activist, Rose, shares her favourite ways.

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Advice on managing stress in important moments

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Advice on managing stress in important moments

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Dr Sheila Redfern gives advice on managing stress at important moments

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For parents - supporting your child through exam stress

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For parents - supporting your child through exam stress

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Supporting your child through exam stress

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If you are worried about a child or young person

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If you are worried about a child or young person

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In an emergency always contact 999

Contact Ealing Children's Social Care 0208 8258000

Contact the school's safeguarding team on safeguarding@sapriory.com

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On Thursday 30 November from 2:30am - 7:30am, you won't be able to contact Childline whilst we do some important maintenance to our systems. This means that 1-2-1 chats, calling and messages to Childline will be unavailable. You'll still be able to use the Childline website for advice and information.

If you're in danger or it's an emergency, you should always call 999

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Get help and advice about a wide range of issues, call us on 0800 1111, talk to a counsellor online, send Childline an email or post on the message boards.

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The NSPCC is the UK’s leading children’s charity, preventing abuse and helping those affected to recover. Help us be here for children. Please donate now.

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Coping With Life | Mental Health Advice | YoungMinds

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There are many experiences we have in life that can make it feel difficult to cope. We have tips and advice on where you can get help if you're struggling.

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Just as your body can become unwell, your mind can become unwell too. And just like with physical illnesses, treatment and support is available. Use our guides to find out more about different mental health conditions, how to cope with your feelings and what support is available to you.

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Mental Health Conditions | Signs and Symptoms | YoungMinds

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Use our guides to find out more about different mental health conditions, how to cope with your feelings and what support is available to you.

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Practical tips to look after your wellbeing

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Practical tips to look after your wellbeing

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Tips for 11-18 year olds on looking after your wellbeing

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Our wellbeing tips and ideas can help you look after yourself and improve your mental health.

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Practical tools to deal with all the tough moments, big emotions and stressful situations that you go through.

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Safeguarding Team at St Augustine's Priory

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Safeguarding Team at St Augustine's Priory

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Who you can speak to

Email safeguarding@sapriory.com

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Summer Term 2025 ParentCarer Workshop Flyer

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Tell us anonymously if you have any concerns about a friend or young person

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QRCode for Anonymous safeguarding concerns reported to the St Augustine's Priory Team   (1)

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What is good mental health?

Looking after your mental health is not something we should just do if we are struggling, or feeling low, anxious or stressed. It's actually something we should think about all the time and really invest in, just like with our physical health.

Staying on top of our mental wellbeing is good for us now but also helps us deal manage difficult times in the future. Over time, it can also reduce our risk of physical health problems.

There are lots of things we can do to look after our mental health and wellbeing every day - make a start with these 7 top tips.

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Top tips to improve your mental wellbeing - Every Mind Matters

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Good mental health is essential to living happy and healthy lives. See 7 areas of life where simple changes can make a big difference. Why not start today?

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If you are worried about something you have seen online, you can always speak to a member of the safeguarding team at school.

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Welcome to the UK Safer Internet Centre, where you can find online safety tips, advice and resources to help children and young people stay safe online.

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St Augustine's Priory Online Safety Hub

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Online Safety Hub - St Augustine’s Priory

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This tool is designed to help remove any images that have been shared online

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Content warning: This section includes graphic sexual descriptions.

A nude image must include one of the following to be removed:

nude or semi-nude sexual posing

someone nude or semi-nude touching themselves in a sexual way

any sexual activity involving a child

someone hurting someone else sexually

sexual activity that includes animals.

Where possible, it is better if you can upload the original image or video, or a copy of it, rather than a photograph of it on another screen. This helps IWF find the image more accurately.

If you want to report something that isn't a nude image or video to see if it can be taken down, you can see more information from Childline about deleting things shared online here. You can make a report to CEOP, the part of the police who are there to support children and young people online. You can always speak to a Childline counsellor.

Confirming your age with ID gives us more legal powers to remove images from as many places as possible. If you don't have ID or feel comfortable using it, we can still take down images, but from fewer places.

You can use the following ID to confirm your identity using Yoti:

passport or biometric residence permit

driving licence and provisional licence

Young Scot Card (Yoti app only)

CitizenCard (Yoti app only).

If you don't have any of these, you can get a young person's ID card. You'll be able to get this for £5 with the promo code NSPCC5. Make sure you choose 'Yoti CitizenCard' on the first page.

Whatever ID you use, please make sure that it is valid and in-date.

IWF will read all reports within one working day, from Monday to Friday. The time it takes to get your image removed from the internet can be different depending on where the image is hosted.

If the image is on a UK-based website it can often be removed within 2-3 hours. Unfortunately, in some countries it can take longer - sometimes days or weeks. But IWF analysts will always try to make sure it happens as soon as possible.

We'll do our best to let you know once your image has been removed by sending a message to your  Childline locker.

We recommend you check your locker every few days after you make a report. This is so you can see if your image has been removed, and so Childline can let you know if IWF need more information to be able to remove it. Remember, IWF can't contact you directly.

If you need support to help you cope while you're waiting, you can also speak to a Childline counsellor any time.

When you use Report Remove, your image or video is shared with the Internet Watch Foundation (IWF). They'll work to get your image removed from the internet. See 'Who are the IWF?' to learn about how that happens.

Most of the time, nobody will know that you've made a report and your report won't be shared with anyone else.

If the police already have the image or video you report, then they might investigate what's happened. Only the police can decide if they'll need to tell someone else.

The police might already have your image or video if:

someone has reported it on another website and that website passed it to the police

they're investigating someone who had or has the image or video already (if someone is found to have your image and is breaking the law - regardless of how, it may be included as evidence in a criminal case against that person

someone else reported the image to them directly.

Remember that the police are there to protect you, not to get you into trouble. If the image has been reported somewhere else and you're worried, you can always  speak to a Childline counsellor.

If you have parental controls on your phone your parent or carer might see when you want to download a new app, so they might get a notification if you try to download Yoti and want to know why. To avoid this, use the second option to prove your age (called 'ID verification').

The IWF can remove images that are public or available to anyone on the internet. However, they won't be able to remove images or videos on encrypted networks like WhatsApp, or which are saved on a person's phone or computer.

If you're over 13 and you've made a report without using ID, then there may be some sites the IWF can't take images down from.

If you don't use ID the IWF can help by removing your image or video from most sites. If you do use ID, the IWF can remove from all sites

The Internet Watch Foundation (IWF), a UK charity, are there to help remove illegal nude images of under 18s posted online.

Once the IWF has confirmed your nude image is against the law and can be removed from the internet they give it a digital fingerprint called a 'hash'. The hash can be used to find your image online even if it has been cropped or slightly changed.

Sharing just the hash with certain trusted companies and organisations, means that technology can be used to find online matches of the image - this is key to trying to stop it appearing in different places on the internet. Even though the hashes and images are shared with UK police, this is so that if they came across the image some other way, they'd know that you also reported it yourself. Report Remove was developed with the full support of the police and no one involved wants to get you into trouble for sharing the image so it can be removed.

Different companies use the hash in different ways. For example, if an illegal image match is found to have been shared by an online account holder, a company may decide to close that person's account as posting illegal images will be against the company's terms and conditions. If your image(s) are found on or are linked to your online user account(s) it may be possible for the company to associate your profile with the images.

The companies that take the hashes trust the Report Remove process, however if they have significant concerns that the person in the image may not be the person who was age verified, they may get in touch with the IWF to raise their concerns.

There are 3 organisations that help you report your image using Report Remove. These are Childline, the Internet Watch Foundation (IWF) and also Yoti if you are 13 or older and choose to prove your age using ID. All of them have a responsibility to keep all of your personal information safe.

1. We'll ask you to choose your age range (under 13, 13-15, 16-17, 18 and over). If you're under 13, you'll go straight to step 3. If you're aged 13 or older, us at Childline will ask you if you have access to ID to prove your age. If you do, you'll be asked to visit Yoti. The only information we will share with Yoti is that you are wanting to prove your age to use Report Remove.

2. Once you prove your age using Yoti, you will come back to Report Remove on Childline. The only information Yoti will share with Childline is confirmation that you're younger or older than 18.

3. We'll then ask you to create or sign in to a Childline account. Then you'll go to the IWF website to share the content you want removed. Childline will only share the information below with IWF:

that you're younger than 18 (either confirmed by Yoti, or that you told us you are younger than 18),

the age range you selected at the start,

a unique number that is created when you use Report Remove.

4. After your report has been passed to the IWF, they will tell Childline if they were able to work to take the images or video down from the internet, and why. This is so Childline can let you know what happened. IWF may also tell Childline some information about what you reported, to help them know how best to support you and keep you safe. IWF will never share an image or video that you report with Childline.

Information you give to Childline
Any information you give Childline will always be treated carefully and in line with our  Privacy Policy. This means that any information you give us as part of Report Remove will only be used to help the IWF review your report and to keep you safe. This will include the age range that you select and a unique number that's created when you go onto the IWF website. We will not share any of your information with Yoti.
Information you give to IWF
The only information you will give to the IWF are the images, videos or URLs you report. There is space to add information such as where the image or video is on a webpage.

They will process this in line with their privacy policy.

Nude images and videos that IWF decide are illegal may be kept by the IWF for up to 2 years. This is because there is an agreement with the Police and CPS (Crime Prosecution Service), called a 'Memorandum of Understanding' (MOU). Illegal images are given a hash (a string of numbers that are like a digital fingerprint). The hash is shared with organisations such as technology companies who host online content, so that they can look for the image and take it down. The actual image is not shared with these companies. The image and the hash are shared with the police who store it on their Child Abuse Image Database. Any images or videos that they decide are not illegal may be kept for a maximum of 6 months for quality checking and any follow up questions. They will then be deleted. Sometimes, even if it's decided that the content isn't illegal, IWF can share the content URL with some industry members to see if they can take the content down.

If you report a URL (link to a webpage), and choose not to prove your age using ID, IWF will still check to see if the content is something they can take action on. If so IWF may share the URL with South West Grid for Learning (SWGfL), who are a charity who help people who have had intimate images of them shared online. SWGfL will never view the content on a URL that is shared with them. SWGfL send a notice to internet companies that host the webpage you reported, to tell them to take it down. This is because IWF can only send a notice to companies to take a specific webpage down when it is confirmed it is of a child. SWGfL can also send notice to take down content, but they do not need to prove it is of a child. This helps get your images or videos from even more places.

Childline will never see what pictures, videos or URLs you share with the IWF. The only information the IWF shares with Childline apart from your case number is whether or not they could take down your images or videos, and why, so we can let you know, as well as information about the image or video that you reported that will help Childline to support you and keep you safe.

Information you give to Yoti
You can choose to use Yoti to confirm your age if you're over 13. This may involve taking a selfie, so Yoti know it is you who are proving your age, and uploading a picture of some ID. Any personal data you send Yoti - like your photo, date of birth or address - is scrambled with a high level of encryption so that even if it was stolen, no one could use it to identify you. The only information Yoti shares with Childline is confirmation that you're under or over 18.

You can see Yoti's privacy policy here, and more information about their age portal here, which is what is used in Report Remove to prove your age.

If you're using the Yoti app, Yoti may use the selfie, month and year of birth you add to the Yoti app to improve its age estimation technology. You can opt out from this in the More> My Data> Biometric consent menu of the app.

There are lots of ways to get help with your report:

if you're having problems with Yoti, you can contact them directly in the app.

if you need any support with making your report send a message to Childline with the title 'Report Remove'.

Childline counsellors are always here for you and want to help. And you can  talk to them  about anything you're going through.
I have a technical issue, what should I do?

Try using your default browser and close private browsing if you're using the Yoti app.

See if you can log in to your locker and send an email to Childline explaining your problem and the team will be able to help.

Make sure the ID you're using is valid and in-date (not expired).

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Use Report Remove to remove a nude image shared online

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This service is one step you can take to help remove online nude, partially nude, or sexually explicit photos and videos taken before you were 18.

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This service is one step you can take to help remove online nude, partially nude, or sexually explicit photos and videos taken before you were 18.

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Report any online exploitation or abuse using this tool

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CEOP is a law enforcement agency and is here to keep children and young people safe from sexual exploitation and abuse. Please complete the below to start your report to one of CEOP’s Child Protection Advisors.

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Free downloadable booklets to guide you through your privacy settings on social media

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Designed and Developed by Will Earp, South West Grid for Learning Trust Ltd

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Downloadable booklets to guide you through your profile settings in Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. It helps you control how your profile appears, what your friends and other people can see, and how to report problems.

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Advice on how to stay safe online

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Guide for parents to support their children online

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Parents Protect helps parents and carers protect children from sexual abuse and exploitation by providing child safety resources.

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Are you being bullied or know someone who is being bullied. This is not acceptable at our school. Please speak to your trusted adult at school or at home. This link has lots of useful tips and advice.

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Advice for parents and carers to help keep children safe from bullying, wherever it happens.

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It might feel difficult, but telling your friend how they’re making you feel can really help.

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Abuse is always wrong and it can be very difficult to talk about but you're never alone. If you're worried about abuse, find out what it is and who can help you.

What is abuse?

Abuse is often about power and the person who abuses you uses that power to get you to do things you don't want to do. It is hurtful either mentally or physically. Sexual abuse includes being touched, kissed or forced to have sex against your will and often by someone older than you.

Abuse isn't always carried out by a stranger and can be someone you know, which can make it feel hard to speak out about. Because they are known to you, if your family or others close to you don't know about the abuse, they will think it is safe to leave you with this person. This is why they need to know as soon as possible.

Abuse is always wrong. If you tell someone, they can help to make it stop.

There are different types of abuse:

Why you must get help

Abuse is always wrong and must be stopped. Apart from being horrible while it is happening, it can affect your life. Speaking out as soon as you can makes it less likely for you to have problems later.

If you have been abused you may:

be wary of adults

find it hard to trust people

have problems developing relationships

have difficulty concentrating

find that you are more irritable or emotional

do worse at school

have difficulties with trust when entering sexual relationships in the future

have low self-esteem, become depressed or anxious

be vulnerable to self-harm

Having one or more of these issues isn't necessarily the result of abuse; they can be caused by a number of things. But if you know you have suffered abuse, you should talk to your GP. They can spot if you are at risk of developing any of these problems and will be able to help you.

Getting help

Take the first step - you have to tell someone. Start with your family, but if the abuser is known to them you might want to speak to someone else you trust, like a teacher or your GP. Even if your GP knows this person they will be able to help you and they won't break your confidence.
If you are in immediate danger call 999.
If you feel you can't talk to people you already know, here are some services run by professionals who will know how to help you.

You might also find helpful...

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Abuse | What To Do If You Think You Experience Abuse

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Abuse is always wrong and it can be very difficult to talk about but you're never alone. If you're worried about abuse, find out what it is and who can help you. What is abuse? Abuse is often about power and the person who abuses you uses that power to get you to do things you don't want to do.

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Support for children who have witnessed or experienced domestic violence

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How are children affected by domestic abuse?

Children who witness domestic abuse are at risk of both short and long-term physical and mental health problems. Every child will be affected differently to the trauma of domestic abuse.

Short-terms effects of domestic abuse:

For young children this can include:

For school aged children this can include:

a loss of drive to participate in activities and school

lower grades in school

feeling guilty and to blame for the abuse happening to them

getting into trouble more often

For teenagers this can include:

.

Long-term effects of domestic abuse:

mental health problems, such as becoming anxious or depressed. Low mental health can also lead to big impacts on physical health, including self-harm or developing an eating disorder

having a lowered sense of self-worth

Since the Domestic Abuse Act 2021, children that have been exposed to domestic abuse are now recognised as victims of domestic abuse in their own right, rather than just witnesses.

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Learn more about domestic abuse and it's affect on children from our specialists.

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"The Lighthouse has been a little bit of refuge."
Parent in London

W hen a child has experienced sexual abuse , they and their family are often left to navigate finding the right support for their child alone. From health care professionals, social workers, therapists and the police - this frequently means the child has to re-tell and re-live their experience with each agency or professional, risking being re-traumatised by the process .

The Lighthouse is based on the international Child House ( Barnahus ) model, established in Reykjavik in 1998. This model is child-centred, allowing medical and sexual health professionals, counsellors, therapists, and the police to work together under one roof - guiding children, young people and their families through their journey of recovery, helping them access the support they need at every step, including the court process.

"I only have to tell the story once."
Child using The Lighthouse in London

In London, where The Lighthouse is based, research has identified a "significant unmet need" for emotional and health support for children who have experienced sexual abuse. Those who do sometimes have to wait months to receive therapy and the support they need. One study found that 8 in 10 adolescents who experienced sexual abuse had mental health problems 4-5 months after the assault. That is why it is so important children get the help they need when they need it.

In 2019/20, The Lighthouse received 321 referrals, meaning approximately 1 in 2 children in North Central London who reported sexual offences were referred there for support. The Lighthouse team were able to accept 258 of those through this difficult time.

"I like the way I can talk and be advised and listened to. I can also talk about what I'd like to talk about."
Child using The Lighthouse in London

"I don't know how my family would have got through this trauma without this service. Truly amazing."
Parent in London

The Mayor of London's Office for Policing and Crime is evaluating t he Lighthouse and has published 3 reports to date, with a final report due in S ummer 2021.

We believe every child should have the support they need after facing sexual abuse. Being a partner in The Lighthouse has shown us the difference a Child House can make for young people who've experienced abuse and we're pleased that funding for The Lighthouse in London has been extended to March 2022.

"Think it's a great service dedicated to young people and their families. Should have more around the UK"
Parent in London

Given the success of The Lighthouse in London, we'll advocate nationally for the benefits of this model and campaign to have new sites funded and built across the UK.

With support from government and commissioners, we can make the Child Houses model an integral part of the support and services available to children who've experienced abuse.

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If you're worried about sexual exploitation, we have information and advice to protect and help children and young people.

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Children and young people can be groomed online or in the real world, by a stranger or by someone they know. If you’re worried about a child, we have advice to help.

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Female genital mutilation is illegal. We've got advice to help you keep children and young people safe.

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Educating Young Minds | Open Minds Foundation

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Educating Our Young People Misinformation and coercive control hamper our everyday lives, enabling everything from political and religious radicalisation, t…

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Parent Separation - Supporting your Child

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Parent Separation - Supporting your Child

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Helping children through separation | Gingerbread

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Going through a divorce or separation can be extremely hard for children. Here are some things you can do to help your child adjust.

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You can also access Local Young Carer Support in Ealing Young Carers | Brentford FC Community Sports Trust

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A young carer is someone aged 25 and under who cares for a friend or family member who, due to illness, disability, a mental health problem or an addiction, cannot cope without their support. Older young carers are also known as young adult carers and they may have different support needs to younger carers.

What might a young carer do?

Practical tasks, like cooking, housework and shopping.

Physical care, such as helping someone out of bed.

Emotional support, including talking to someone who is distressed.

Personal care, such as helping someone dress.

Managing the family budget and collecting prescriptions.

Helping to give medicine.

Helping someone communicate.

Looking after brothers and sisters.

How many young carers are there?

The 2011 Census identified 177,918 young carers in England and Wales. One in eight of those were aged under eight.

Scottish Government recognises that there are at least 29,000 young carers in Scotland.

This is widely believed to be the tip of the iceberg, with some estimates suggesting that as many as one in five schoolchildren are young carers (University of Nottingham 2018), with this number increasing during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Being a young carer can have a big impact on the things that are important to growing up

Young carers are already likely to have significantly lower educational attainment than their peers.

With the added complications of COVID-19, young carers have missed out on even more school than before and urgent support is needed if they are not to be left behind their peers.

Caring can also be an isolating experience but having the right support in place can give young carers a better chance of succeeding in all parts of their lives.

How we support young carers

Young Carers Action Day

Young Carers Action Day is an annual event led by Carers Trust. It raises awareness and calls for action to increase support for young people with caring responsibilities. On Young Carers Action Day 2022, we are calling on all governments across the UK to commit to taking action to reduce isolation for young and young adult carers including access to short breaks, These are important in providing much-needed freedom from caring responsibilities, as well as reducing isolation and promoting wellbeing.

Specialist services for young carers

Carers Trust helps young carers to cope with their caring role through specialised services delivered by its network of local carer organisations across the UK. They are independent charities. Activities offered include:

Activities and breaks.

Peer and community support, including young carer groups and peer mentoring schemes.

Information, advice and guidance, including one-to-one support and age appropriate information.

Emotional support.

Advocacy.

Brokerage and support planning.

Training in subjects such as health and safety, wellbeing and life skills.

Supporting families and young carers to apply for appropriate benefits.

Emergency planning support.

Whole family support.

Engaging young carers in informing service development.

I think I might be a young or young adult carer, where can I go for support?

The responsibilities of young and young adult carers vary greatly, so you may be eligible for support, even if you don't feel like you do a lot of caring. If you think that you might be a young or young adult carer, get in touch with your local carer service. Support workers will be able to ensure that you receive the support you need.

Find your local carer service

There are also lots of organisation that can support young carers with a range of issues.

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A young carer is someone aged 25 & under who cares, unpaid, for a friend or family member who cannot cope without their support.

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There is lots of support online for you. More information can be found here

LGBT+ young people | Barnardo's

LGBTQI+ Support Guide - Anna Freud

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The Proud Trust- Resources for LGBT+ Young People

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Coming Out, Exploring Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity, Faith and Religion, Staying Safe and much more.

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Struggling with an eating disorder? Caring for someone who is? Beat is here to support you.

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It's hard for me to write this letter, as there are many things I want to say, to the me that I was back then. I get that you just wanted to belong, I really do. I know how tough it was to feel like an outsider, not to feel like you fitted in anywhere. You felt like life was going nowhere, no one wanted to know a kid with bad grades and a record of bad behaviour. It seems no one really believed in you or saw your potential. Then someone made you feel heard. A friend who felt just the same as you, who really 'got' you. He talked about the reasons things were going wrong, for you, for him, other friends, family. It seemed to make sense. He talked about immigrants, injustice and race. And you listened without questioning. I wish you hadn't. Instead, you started to speak just like him and I wish you hadn't. You met more new friends online who shared the same views as you. And worse. They lied to you John. They made you feel welcome. You didn't realise they were just using you. The dangers of extremism wasn't something you understood, you only began to realise a while later. You felt part of something for the first time in a long time and it felt good. It felt good to be with them, to take part in extremist rallies, to share a voice. It made you feel powerful and gave you a sense of purpose, when before you had nothing and felt you were going nowhere. Your old friends and family didn't understand, they didn't 'get' you. I wish you had pressed pause and looked around to see the hurt and upset you were causing then. Now it's clear how angry you were, and scared. Too scared to choose another path, despite some of the opinions and content not sitting well with you. I wish you had seen how you were beginning not to belong, with those who really did care about you. Who wanted you to lead your best life, not your worst. Back then, you didn't know that you could choose your own path, that you didn't need to follow people you thought had your best interests at heart, but who really were using you for their own agenda. I wish you had realised then, that they didn't speak for you. They don't speak for anyone who wants a better world. You got so far in, you didn't know how to get back out. It was scary I know, to turn your back on those preaching hate, those who are just looking to others to blame for things that go wrong in life. But you did it John. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you for taking up the offer of support and the chance to turn your life around. And it was hard. So hard to have your views challenged, to hear some of the facts you had been told by your new 'friends' weren't even true. So hard to no longer belong to a group of people you felt had welcomed you in, online and off. It took time, but you did it and look how far you've come. Now you are supporting other people who want to escape extremism. And you get them, you know the struggle they are going through. You never thought you could change people's lives for the better, but with support you did it and I am proud of the you, that I have now become.

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Act early and tell us your concerns in confidence.

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"I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE I WAS. I HAD TO SEARCH IT ON GOOGLE MAPS TO SEE HOW FAR I WAS FROM HOME"

Drug gangs are grooming kids in Merseyside, North Wales and Lancashire.

Know what to look for and who to help. Start by selecting where you live.

Know what to look for.

You can spot grooming in a number of different ways. Sometimes you may just get a feeling that something is not quite right. The following examples might suggest that someone you know is being groomed:

They go missing from school or home, sometimes for weeks.

They have more than one mobile phone.

They become more secretive, more withdrawn.

They start lying.

Maybe you just feel something doesn't 'feel right' but you can't suss it out.

They have new, unexplained gifts.

Receiving excessive calls or messages from new and unknown 'friends'.

Unexplained amounts of cash.

Getting picked up or dropped by cars by unknown people.

They have unexplained bus or train tickets.

Mixing with older men or women.

Coming home late, or not at all.

Carrying a knife, gun or other weapon - or storing them.

Trying to conceal bruises, marks or injuries.

Self-harm or significant changes in emotional wellbeing.

Know who to help.

Criminal gangs look for vulnerable people they can control. They groom young people under the age of 18, teenagers and young children. You might think you, your friend or the young person in your community is in control of their choices. However, if you see any of the signs mentioned on this website, you or they could be in danger.

Young person's guide.

Child criminal exploitation, grooming and 'County Lines' are difficult subjects to teach. As part of this campaign, we've put together a support pack to help explain the signs of exploitation, the different actions and behaviours we might see in the child abusers who are doing the grooming, and of the victims themselves. The more the young people know, the more they can keep themselves, and their friends, safe.

Download guide

Know how to help.

If you're being pressured to do something you know is harmful. Or if you know someone showing the signs covered on this site. There are people ready to listen and to help.

Know what to look for.

You can spot grooming in a number of different ways. Sometimes you may just get a feeling that something is not quite right. The following examples might suggest that someone you know is being groomed:

They go missing from school or home, sometimes for weeks.

They have more than one mobile phone.

They become more secretive, more withdrawn.

They start lying.

Maybe you just feel something doesn't 'feel right' but you can't suss it out.

They have new, unexplained gifts.

Receiving excessive calls or messages from new and unknown 'friends'.

Unexplained amounts of cash.

Getting picked up or dropped by cars by unknown people.

They have unexplained bus or train tickets.

Mixing with older men or women.

Coming home late, or not at all.

Carrying a knife, gun or other weapon - or storing them.

Trying to conceal bruises, marks or injuries.

Self-harm or significant changes in emotional wellbeing.

Know who to help.

Criminal gangs look for vulnerable people they can control. They groom young people under the age of 18, teenagers and young children. You might think you, your friend or the young person in your community is in control of their choices. However, if you see any of the signs mentioned on this website, you or they could be in danger.

Young person's guide.

Child criminal exploitation, grooming and 'County Lines' are difficult subjects to teach. As part of this campaign, we've put together a support pack to help explain the signs of exploitation, the different actions and behaviours we might see in the child abusers who are doing the grooming, and of the victims themselves. The more the young people know, the more they can keep themselves, and their friends, safe.

Know how to help.

If you're being pressured to do something you know is harmful. Or if you know someone showing the signs covered on this site. There are people ready to listen and to help.

Know what to look for.

You can spot grooming in a number of different ways. Sometimes you may just get a feeling that something is not quite right. The following examples might suggest that someone you know is being groomed:

They go missing from school or home, sometimes for weeks.

They have more than one mobile phone.

They become more secretive, more withdrawn.

They start lying.

Maybe you just feel something doesn't 'feel right' but you can't suss it out.

They have new, unexplained gifts.

Receiving excessive calls or messages from new and unknown 'friends'.

Unexplained amounts of cash.

Getting picked up or dropped by cars by unknown people.

They have unexplained bus or train tickets.

Mixing with older men or women.

Coming home late, or not at all.

Carrying a knife, gun or other weapon - or storing them.

Trying to conceal bruises, marks or injuries.

Self-harm or significant changes in emotional wellbeing.

Know who to help.

Criminal gangs look for vulnerable people they can control. They groom young people under the age of 18, teenagers and young children. You might think you, your friend or the young person in your community is in control of their choices. However, if you see any of the signs mentioned on this website, you or they could be in danger.

Young person's guide.

Child criminal exploitation, grooming and 'County Lines' are difficult subjects to teach. As part of this campaign, we've put together a support pack to help explain the signs of exploitation, the different actions and behaviours we might see in the child abusers who are doing the grooming, and of the victims themselves. The more the young people know, the more they can keep themselves, and their friends, safe.

Know how to help.

If you're being pressured to do something you know is harmful. Or if you know someone showing the signs covered on this site. There are people ready to listen and to help.

National Helplines

If you need advice and support, there are people you can call...

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"I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE I WAS. I HAD TO SEARCH IT ON GOOGLE MAPS TO SEE HOW FAR I WAS FROM HOME" Know what to look for and who to help. Start by selecting where you live. You can spot grooming in a number of different ways.

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Advice and support for children who are affected by their parents drinking

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Advice and support for children who are affected by their parents drinking

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Providing information, advice and support for everyone affected by a parent's drinking

1 in 5 people in the UK are affected by a parent's drinking. #URNotAlone

Providing information, advice and support for everyone affected by a parent's drinking

1 in 5 people in the UK are affected by a parent's drinking. #URNotAlone

Free helpline

If you would like to talk to someone, our free confidential helpline is here for you.
helpline@Nacoa.org.uk

The Nacoa promise

We are here to listen

We won't judge

We are here to help for as long as you want

What you say will remain confidential

Calling the helpline

Instant chat

Just tap on the blue instant chat icon in the bottom right of your screen.

Message boards

Share your experiences and talk to others in our online message boards.
Message boards

Make a difference.

... we are here to help. With your help we can help no child feel like they are on their own.

£10

5 information packs for professionals working with children of alcoholics.

£60

Free phone calls for a week.

£400

Train a new volunteers helpline counsellor.

£800

Keeps the helpline running for 6 weeks.

Become a Member for £26/year

For just £25 a year, you can join us as a Nacoa member. Receive invites to big events and our AGM. Have your say in our management. And get your iconic Nacoa t-shirt.

Become a Member

Keep in touch

To find out more about our events and activities, subscribe to our mailing list

We use Mailchimp as our marketing platform. By subscribing, you acknowledge that your information will be transferred to Mailchimp for processing. Learn more about Mailchimp's privacy practices.

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Nacoa: Helping everyone affected by their parent's drinking - Nacoa

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Nacoa UK helps everyone affected by a parent's drinking. 1 in 5 people in the UK are affected by their parent's drinking. #URNotAlone

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If you think that you may have an addiction to any drugs including alcohol or vapes, please seek support from your parents, GP or trusted adult in school.

More support can be found here Honest information about drugs | FRANK

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A drug is any chemical that you take in - whether as a pill, a liquid, a powder or in another form - which can affect the way you think, feel and act. This includes alcohol - although we often don't think of it as such, alcohol is a drug.

A drug can be something legal and commonly used, like headache tablets. However, generally when we talk about drugs, we mean illegal drugs or drugs that people take for enjoyment or any other non-medical reason. (When drugs are used in this way, they are sometimes referred to as "recreational drugs".)

Why do people drink or take drugs?

There are lots of different reasons why people might take drugs or drink alcohol. It might be:

to fit in with a group or appear popular

to see what it feels like

because they feel like they should, or they feel pressure to do it

to distract from difficult thoughts or feelings, or to try to make these feelings go away

to feel more confident or able to talk to people

Whatever the reason someone drinks alcohol or takes drugs, it doesn't make them a bad person. But there are laws around drugs and alcohol; and drinking alcohol or taking drugs can have a negative effect on your mental and physical health, so it's important to know the facts and be aware of the risks.

When you take drugs, there is always some risk involved. This is because drugs can affect different people in different ways, and it can be hard to know exactly what you are taking, as you often don't know where the drugs have come from. For more information about how different drugs can affect you, and the risks that come with different drugs, the Frank website is a really good place to start.

The laws around drugs and alcohol

Recreational drugs (drugs that people take for non-medical purposes) fall into one of three groups:

e.g. alcohol and nicotine (cigarettes or vapes)
These are drugs that you can buy legally, though there may be laws around who can buy them. This includes alcohol and nicotine, but also over-the-counter medication like headache tablets.

You must be 18 or over to buy alcohol or nicotine products in the UK. However, if you're 16 or 17 and accompanied by an adult, you can drink (but not buy) beer, wine or cider with a meal.

e.g. cocaine, heroin, marijuana etc.
These are drugs that are against the law to have, use or provide to other people.

e.g. diazepam, methylphenidate, dexamfetamine etc.
These are drugs that are used in medicine and might be given to you by a doctor, but are illegal to have or use if you don't have a prescription for them. It is also illegal to give or sell controlled drugs to anybody else. Your doctor should tell you if they prescribe you a controlled drug.

If you choose to take illegal drugs, remember it can lead to a criminal conviction, which could end up affecting things in your future, like getting a job. And if you're under 18, it's against the law to buy (or try to buy) alcohol, or to drink alcohol in licensed premises like restaurants, pubs, bars and clubs, other than in the circumstances explained above.

You can find out more on the Government's website:
Drugs penalties Alcohol and young people

Can you get in trouble for telling someone that you've taken drugs or drunk alcohol underage?

When you talk to a doctor or other healthcare professional, everything you tell them is confidential - this means that they will not tell anyone else unless you agree otherwise, or they feel that you are in danger of harming yourself or others (if this is the case, they will always try to let you know first). However, if you are under 16 and a doctor or healthcare worker suspects that you are being abused or that you are in danger, they have to report that.

But if you tell them you've voluntarily taken drugs or drunk alcohol underage, they will not report you to the police. In fact, if you think that you have any kind of issue with drugs or alcohol, it's really important that you tell your doctor so that they can help.

The effects of drugs and alcohol on your mental health

Drugs and alcohol can affect your mental health in different ways. The effect they might have can depend on a number of things, such as:

the drug you take

how much you take

how frequently you take it

how you're feeling at the time

the environment you take it in

In the short term, while you're still feeling the effects of drinking alcohol or taking drugs, you may feel:

happy

excited

energetic

relaxed

sociable, or like it's easier to talk to people

tired

sad

anxious

paranoid

impulsive, or less worried about doing things you wouldn't do normally

out of control

Even once the alcohol or drug wears off, it can still have an effect on your mental health. You may find that you feel:

As some drugs such as alcohol make you feel more relaxed, outgoing and sociable, some people use them to help with anxiety in the short term. While this may help reduce feelings of anxiety in the moment, it can have negative long-term effects. For example, you may find that you start to feel as though you "need it" to cope in these situations in future; it may make feelings of anxiety or depression worse once the effects have worn off; or it may make you physically ill.

If you are struggling with anxiety, it is important to get help so that you can develop coping mechanisms that work for you in both the short term and the long term.

For advice on coping with anxiety, have a look at our guide.

Using drugs and alcohol can make any mental health problems you struggle with worse in the long term, and it can even lead you to develop new mental health problems. For example, regular use of cannabis has been linked to the development of psychosis.

If you take drugs regularly, you might reach a point where you feel like the drug is in control of you, rather than the other way around. Maybe you're using it in private, away from friends, and your life revolves around getting more of it. Or perhaps drugs and alcohol are becoming the main things you think about. If so, you could be getting addicted, and addiction is closely linked with mental health problems.

Drugs, alcohol and mental health medication

If you take medication for your mental health, it may change the way that drugs and alcohol affect you. We have more information on our medication pages, but please speak to your doctor for any medical advice.

How to tell if you have a problem with drugs or alcohol

It can be hard to recognise when you have a problem with drugs or alcohol, as this can develop over time without you noticing. Below are some common signs that you might have a problem with drugs or alcohol.

You feel like your drug or alcohol use is no longer under your control, and that you cannot cope without it - you "need" to do it, even if you don't want to.

You build up a tolerance to the drug, meaning you might start to need more and more of it in order to feel the effects.

You get withdrawal symptoms when you don't take it. For example, you might feel sick, anxious or develop a tremor (shakes).

You often have unexplained cuts and bruises, blackouts, confusion and difficulty remembering what happened while drinking or on drugs.

You are feeling secretive and ashamed about what you are doing, or doing it in private or on your own.

What to do if you're struggling with drugs or alcohol

If you're at all worried about your drug or alcohol use, whether you think you are addicted or not, it's important that you reach out for help. Talk to someone you trust about it, whether that's a friend, parent, teacher or counsellor. If drugs or alcohol are affecting your ability to cope in daily life, then you should see your GP.

This may feel scary, but it is the best way to get help and your doctor won't judge you.

Show/hide caption

Illustration by Emily @21andsensory. Black text in the centre of a white background reads, 'believe in yourself and magic will happen.'

You may feel like stopping taking drugs or drinking alcohol is impossible, but you can do it and live a happy life without drugs or alcohol with the right support.

Dealing with peer pressure around drugs and alcohol

When it comes to drugs and alcohol, you may sometimes feel like there is pressure to do something you're not comfortable with because others want you to. This is called peer pressure. You may feel flattered that people want to drink or take drugs with you, but it can also make you feel:

scared

worried

alone

like you need to explain why you aren't joining in

like people will make fun of you or not want to hang around with you if you don't join in

When dealing with peer pressure to drink alcohol, I explain my personal reasons why I choose not to drink, and even though I don't mind others drinking, I've been really put off and it is of no interest to me at all. Usually people can see why I have made that choice and respect it.

It's important to remember that when it comes to drugs and alcohol, the only person who gets to decide what you do is you. It can be difficult saying no, but people who care about you shouldn't push you to do anything you're uncomfortable with.

Frank have ten tips for dealing with peer pressure on their website:

Childline have a guide to being assertive, which you might also find helpful when you want to say no but you're not sure how.

Top tip from our Activists

If your friends often drink alcohol or take drugs, it can sometimes feel like a lot of social activities revolve around that, which can be difficult if you don't drink or take drugs. To get around this, you could try planning activities that don't involve these things. This helps to take away the pressure to drink or take drugs, and allows you to find other things that you and your friends enjoy doing together. For example, you could suggest:

going to the cinema

playing sport

cooking or baking

going shopping

going for a walk

playing video games

Supporting a friend with a drink or drug problem

If you think your friend has developed a problem with alcohol or drugs, it can be really hard to know what to do. You may worry that if you say something to them, they'll be angry at you or start hiding their drink or drug use from you. But you may also worry that if you don't say anything, their problem might get worse.

The best thing you can do is let them know that you are there for them as a friend, and that they can talk to you if they want to. You could start by letting them know that you're worried they may have a problem, and telling them how their behaviour is affecting you or your friendship. It's important to let them know that you aren't judging them, and that you only want to help.

However, if you don't feel able to have that conversation, that's okay too. It is not your responsibility to fix things. Instead, you could try suggesting they use one of the helpline services at the bottom of this page. It's also a good idea to ask for support from an adult you trust, like a parent, teacher or youth worker. You don't have to tell them the name of your friend, but if you think they may be in danger, then this can be a good idea. You can let your friend know that you need to talk to an adult and let them know why. Your friend might find this difficult and ask you not to, but they will eventually understand that you want to help them get through this.

For more information and advice on supporting a friend, have a look at our guide.

You might also find helpful...

Where to get help

See below for a list of organisations and helpline services that can offer you further support.

Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn't a mental health support service. If you are in crisis right now and want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

At YoungMinds we take your privacy seriously. If you'd like to read more about how we keep the information we collect safe, take a look at our privacy policy.

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Drugs and Alcohol | Support For Young People

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Read our guide for the facts on drugs and alcohol, how they can affect your mental health, and advice on what to do if you need support.

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There are so many places you can find support

Mental Health Support For Young People | YoungMinds

The Mix - Essential support for under 25s

For children and young people | Anna Freud

Kooth - Free mental health support for 11-18 year olds

YoungSibs - Sibs

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If you're looking for advice or support for a specific situation, these organisations may be able to help. Browse our list.

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Parents Mental Health Support | Advice for Your Child | YoungMinds

For families | Anna Freud

Supporting young people info hub - for adults | Mind - Mind

Place2Be's Parenting Smart portal

Family Wellbeing

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It's okay to reach out for help. Your situation is unique and no parent has all the answers. We all need a little extra support sometimes, and we hear from parents and carers just like you all the time.

So, if you're worried about the mental health and wellbeing of a child or young person up to the age of 25, you can chat to us by phone, email or webchat.

Our Parents Helpline is also accessible for those who are hard of hearing or speak English as an additional language. If English is not your first or preferred language, we can arrange for a language translator to support you on a call with one of our helpline advisers. Or if you would like to use our webchat or email service, we offer a digital translation service.

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Parents Mental Health Support | Advice for Your Child

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Practical tips, advice and where you can get help if your child or teenager is struggling with their mood, feelings, or their behaviour seems different.

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You don't need to help your friend on your own. There are lots of resources available online .

More support can be found here

helping_someone_else_accessible_pdf.pdf

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If a friend has shared how they are feeling, it might be the first time they have spoken to someone about their mental health and they may struggle to put their thoughts into words. They might not go into lots of detail and say something like 'I'm finding things hard right now' or 'actually, I'm not fine'. Or they might share things they are struggling with at home, school, university or work.

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Supporting a Friend With Their Mental Health

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It can be difficult to know how to respond when someone opens up to you about their mental health. Here's our advice on how you can support a friend.

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Helping someone who self-harms - for 11-18 year olds | Mind

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Read our tips on how you can support friends or partners who are self-harming – and get advice on how look after yourself.

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Supporting a friend who has an eating disorder

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Supporting a friend who has an eating disorder

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Supporting someone with an eating disorder - Beat

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Supporting someone with an eating disorder can affect your own physical and mental health. It's important to remember that you're not alone, and it's especially important to look after yourself too. At the links below, you can see what services Beat can offer you, and the support that might be available to you as a carer.

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Even doing just one positive thing every day can help your mood. Not sure what you want to do today? Use this tool to help.

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When you're feeling low or overwhelmed, it can be hard to know how to cope. But distracting yourself or doing one of our activities or games can help you feel better.

Even doing just one positive thing every day can help your mood. Not sure what you want to do today? Use our tool to help.

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When you're feeling low or overwhelmed, it can be hard to know how to cope. But distracting yourself or doing something positive can really help. We've got lots of activities for you to try!

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Practical ways to look after your mental health, allowing you to choose what works best for you.

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Self-care is about the things we can do to look after our own mental health. Young people told us that when they are struggling they are usually told to see a professional. They don't often get much advice about how they could help themselves.

We spoke to professionals and looked at academic research. Then we drew up a list of strategies young people use (you can see the process in this self-care infographic). We also published a report following a consultation with young people and their families online.

We're sharing these strategies with you to help you to manage your wellbeing. It's up to you to decide what helps. If it works, keep doing it. If it doesn't, stop and try something else. And you can help us build an evidence-base for these activities by letting us know what works by clicking on the 'Did this activity help your mental wellbeing' button on each page. This will help us decide which ones to research further. We've also created a booklet to help you create your own self-care plan as part of our and another booklet with advice for young parents and carers on looking after their wellbeing.

These activities are not a substitute for seeing a mental health professional. Sometimes we need outside help and advice. Getting help is good. No-one should feel bad about it. That's what this site is about.

This self-care section was developed by Common Room and young people from mental health support group Hearts & Minds.

These strategies were identified by young people aged 11-25 though some strategies might not be appropriate for all ages without support or guidance of a trusted adult.

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Resources to enable the prioritisation of mental health and wellbeing

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There is lots of support available in Ealing

More links include

Circle Café

YOUTH SERVICE - Young Ealing

Support for Young People with SEN in Ealing — Ealing SENDIASS

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Ealing Families Directory | Ealing Safeguarding Children Partnership

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Ealing Safeguarding Children Partnership (ESCP) is a statutory body established to safeguard and promote the welfare of children and young people in the borough.

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If you think a referral needs to be made, please contact the school or your GP

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child and adolescent mental health service

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Child and adolescent mental health services (CAMHS) :: West London NHS Trust

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Welcome to West London NHS Trust child and adolescent mental health services (CAMHS). We support children and young people with their emotional and mental health. Find out more about who we help and how.

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This website is an excellent resource for parents around online safety

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‘Wake Up Wednesday’ Online Safety Newsletter

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Talking to your daughter about healthy relationships

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Talking to your daughter about healthy relationships

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Healthy teen relationships

Welcome to Act on it Now: a site developed for young people, by young people.

Learn about what healthy, unhealthy and toxic relationships look like. Get help if you’re worried about your own relationship or someone else’s.

Young people

What do relationships mean to you? With your parents? Friends? Family? Boyfriend? Girlfriend? How do relationships make you feel? Find out more about what healthy, unhealthy & toxic relationships look like here.

Parents & carers

Are you a parent or carer worried about a young person’s relationship? Either with someone else or with you? Find out more about supporting teens & young people as their relationships develop.

Professionals

If you’re a professional working with teens & young people – whether you’re in education, medicine, social services or another related field – you’ll find lots of free resources to add to your professional toolkit here.

“Act on it Now helped me see the unhealthy behaviours that were happening in my relationship and leave before things got worse.”

— Ellie

Let’s build a healthy community where everyone can live free from the fear of domestic abuse.

If you think you might be in an unhealthy, controlling or toxic relationship – or you’re worried about your own harmful behaviour – contact us now. We’re here to help.

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Healthy Teen Relationships | A Website Developed For Young People, By Young People | What Do Healthy, Unhealthy & Abusive Relationships Look Like? Find Out Here.

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Introduction

Gillick competency and Fraser guidelines help people who work with children to balance the need to listen to children's wishes with the responsibility to keep them safe.

When practitioners are trying to decide whether a child is mature enough to make decisions about things that affect them, they often talk about whether the child is 'Gillick competent' or whether they meet the 'Fraser guidelines'.

Although the two terms are frequently used together and originate from the same legal case, there are distinct differences between them.

Both Gillick competency and Fraser guidelines refer to a legal case from the 1980s which looked at whether doctors should be able to give contraceptive advice or treatment to young people under 16-years-old without parental consent.

Applying Gillick competence and Fraser guidelines

The Fraser guidelines still apply to advice and treatment relating to contraception and sexual health. But Gillick competency is often used in a wider context to help assess whether a child has the maturity to make their own decisions and to understand the implications of those decisions.

You should always encourage a child to tell their parents or carers about the decisions they are making. If they don't want to do this, you should explore why and, if appropriate, discuss ways you could help them inform their parents or carers. For example, you could talk to the young person's parents or carers on their behalf.

If the young person still wants to go ahead without their parents' or carers' knowledge or consent, you should consider the Gillick and Fraser guidelines. The following information looks at how this can be applied in practice.

Gillick competence

Gillick competence

Gillick competency applies mainly to medical advice but it is also used by practitioners in other settings. For example, if a child or young person:

would like to have therapeutic support but doesn't want their parents or carers to know about it

is seeking confidential support for substance misuse

has strong wishes about their future living arrangements which may conflict with their parents' or carers' views.

Medical professionals need to consider Gillick competency if a young person under the age of 16 wishes to receive treatment without their parents' or carers' consent or, in some cases, knowledge.

If the young person has informed their parents of the treatment they wish to receive but their parents do not agree with their decision, treatment can still proceed if the child has been assessed as Gillick competent.

There is specific guidance for medical professionals on using Gillick competence - see case history and legislation.

Assessing Gillick competence

There is no set of defined questions to assess Gillick competency. Professionals need to consider several things when assessing a child's capacity to consent, including:

the child's age, maturity and mental capacity

their understanding of the issue and what it involves - including advantages, disadvantages and potential long-term impact

their understanding of the risks, implications and consequences that may arise from their decision

how well they understand any advice or information they have been given

their understanding of any alternative options, if available

their ability to explain a rationale around their reasoning and decision making.

Remember that consent is not valid if a young person is being pressured or influenced by someone else.

Children's capacity to consent may be affected by different factors, for example stress, mental health conditions and the complexities of the decision they are making. The same child may be considered Gillick competent to make one decision but not competent to make a different decision.

If you don't think a child is Gillick competent or there are inconsistencies in their understanding, you should seek consent from their parents or carers before proceeding.

In complex medical cases, such as those involving disagreements about treatment, you may wish to seek the opinion of a colleague about a child's capacity to consent (Care Quality Commission, 2019).

Young people also have the right to seek a second opinion from another medical professional (General Medical Council, 2020).

Refusal of medical treatment

Gillick competency can be used when young people wish to refuse medical treatment.

However, if a young person refuses treatment which may lead to their death or severe permanent harm, their decision can be overruled. More information about this is available in the guidance for medical professionals in each UK nation - see case history and legislation.

Child protection concerns

The child's safety and wellbeing is paramount.

When you are assessing Gillick competency if you have any concerns about the safety of the young person you should check whether previous child protection concerns have been raised, and explore any factors that could put them at risk of abuse.

You must always share child protection concerns with the relevant agencies, even if this goes against a child's wishes.
> Find out more about recognising and responding to abuse

Fraser guidelines

Fraser guidelines

The Fraser guidelines apply specifically to advice and treatment about contraception and sexual health. They may be used by a range of healthcare professionals working with under 16-year-olds, including doctors and nurse practitioners.

Following a legal ruling in 2006, Fraser guidelines can also be applied to advice and treatment for sexually transmitted infections and the termination of pregnancy (Axton v The Secretary of State for Health, 2006).

Using the Fraser guidelines

Practitioners using the Fraser guidelines should be satisfied of the following:

the young person cannot be persuaded to inform their parents or carers that they are seeking this advice or treatment (or to allow the practitioner to inform their parents or carers).

the young person understands the advice being given.

the young person's physical or mental health or both are likely to suffer unless they receive the advice or treatment.

it is in the young person's best interests to receive the advice, treatment or both without their parents' or carers' consent.

the young person is very likely to continue having sex with or without contraceptive treatment.

(Gillick v West Norfolk, 1985)

Child protection concerns

When using Fraser guidelines for issues relating to sexual health, you should always consider any potential child protection concerns:

Underage sexual activity is a possible indicator of child sexual exploitation and children who have been groomed may not realise they are being abused.

Sexual activity with a child under 13 should always result in a child protection referral.

If a young person presents repeatedly about sexually transmitted infections or the termination of pregnancy this may be an indicator of child sexual abuse or exploitation.

You should always consider any previous concerns that may have been raised about the young person and explore whether there are any factors that may present a risk to their safety and wellbeing.

You must always share child protection concerns with the relevant agencies, even if a child or young person asks you not to.

> Find out more about recognising and responding to abuse

Case history, legislation and guidance

Gillick v West Norfolk and Wisbech Area Health Authority 1986

In 1982 Victoria Gillick took her local health authority (West Norfolk and Wisbech Area Health Authority) and the Department of Health and Social Security to court in an attempt to stop doctors from giving contraceptive advice or treatment to under 16-year-olds without parental consent.

The case went to the High Court in 1984 where Mr Justice Woolf dismissed Mrs Gillick's claims. The Court of Appeal reversed this decision, but in 1985 it went to the House of Lords and the Law Lords (Lord Scarman, Lord Fraser and Lord Bridge) ruled in favour of the original judgment delivered by Mr Justice Woolf:

"...whether or not a child is capable of giving the necessary consent will depend on the child's maturity and understanding and the nature of the consent required. The child must be capable of making a reasonable assessment of the advantages and disadvantages of the treatment proposed, so the consent, if given, can be properly and fairly described as true consent" (Gillick v West Norfolk, 1984).

What are the Fraser guidelines?

The Fraser guidelines refer to the guidelines set out by Lord Fraser in his judgment of the Gillick case in the House of Lords (Gillick v West Norfolk, 1985), which apply specifically to contraceptive advice.

Lord Fraser stated that a doctor should always encourage a girl aged under 16 to inform her parents or carers that she is seeking contraceptive advice (or allow the doctor to inform the parents or carers on her behalf). But if she cannot be persuaded to do so they can proceed to give contraceptive advice and treatment as long as certain conditions are met. This includes making sure it's in the girl's best interests for advice to be given and that she understands the advice.
> Find out more about using the Fraser guidelines
What is Gillick competence?

Lord Scarman's comments in his judgment of the Gillick case in the House of Lords (Gillick v West Norfolk, 1985) are often referred to as the test of "Gillick competency". He said:

"...it is not enough that she should understand the nature of the advice which is being given: she must also have a sufficient maturity to understand what is involved."

He also commented more generally on parents' versus children's rights:

"parental right yields to the child's right to make his own decisions when he reaches a sufficient understanding and intelligence to be capable of making up his own mind on the matter requiring decision."
> Find out more about assessing Gillick competency
Legislation and guidance

Gillick v West Norfolk and Wisbech Area Health Authority went to the House of Lords and is often used as a legal precedent across the UK.

In Scotland, the Age of Legal Capacity (Scotland) Act 1991 sets out when children have the legal capacity to make decisions. Section 2 sets out when a child under the age of 16 can consent to medical treatment or procedures.

Medical guidance

In England, the Department of Health and Social Care provides guidance for medical professionals on the legal framework they need to consider when obtaining valid consent to examination, treatment or care (Department of Health and Social Care, 2009).

In Northern Ireland the Department of Health provides consent guides for healthcare professionals (Department of Health, 2003).

In Scotland the NHS has provided a good practice guide on consent for health professionals (PDF) (Scottish Executive Health Department, 2006).

References and resources

References and resources

Axton v The Secretary of State for Health (The Family Planning Association: intervening) (2006) EWHC 37. As cited in Family Law Week.

Care Quality Commission (2019). Brief guide: capacity and competence to consent in under 18s (PDF). Care Quality Commission.

Department of Health (2003). Consent guides for healthcare professionals. [Accessed 02/02/2020].

Department of Health and Social Care (2009) Reference guide to consent for examination or treatment (second edition). London: Department of Health and Social Care.

Gillick v West Norfolk and Wisbech Area Health Authority and Department of Health and Social Security [1984] Q.B. 581. As cited in Children's Legal Centre (1985) Landmark decision for children's rights. Childright, 22: 11-18.

Gillick v West Norfolk & Wisbech Area Health Authority, UKHL 7 (17 October 1985) Available via (BAILII) in The law reports (appeal cases) [1986] AC 112.

Scottish Executive Health Department (2006). A good practice guide on consent for health professionals in NHS Scotland (PDF). Edinburgh: Scottish Executive

Childline

If a child or young person needs confidential help and advice direct them to Childline. Calls to 0800 1111 are free and children can also contact Childline online or read about children's rights on the Childline website.

You can also download or order Childline posters and wallet cards.

Elearning

Our online and face-to-face training courses can help develop your understanding of how to protect children from abuse and safely recruit staff and volunteers to work with children:

Further reading

For further reading about Gillick competency and Fraser guidelines, search the NSPCC Library catalogue using the keywords "Gillick competency" and "Fraser guidelines".
> Find out more about the Library and Information Service

Introduction

Gillick competency and Fraser guidelines help people who work with children to balance the need to listen to children's wishes with the responsibility to keep them safe.

When practitioners are trying to decide whether a child is mature enough to make decisions about things that affect them, they often talk about whether the child is 'Gillick competent' or whether they meet the 'Fraser guidelines'.

Although the two terms are frequently used together and originate from the same legal case, there are distinct differences between them.

Both Gillick competency and Fraser guidelines refer to a legal case from the 1980s which looked at whether doctors should be able to give contraceptive advice or treatment to young people under 16-years-old without parental consent.

Applying Gillick competence and Fraser guidelines

The Fraser guidelines still apply to advice and treatment relating to contraception and sexual health. But Gillick competency is often used in a wider context to help assess whether a child has the maturity to make their own decisions and to understand the implications of those decisions.

You should always encourage a child to tell their parents or carers about the decisions they are making. If they don't want to do this, you should explore why and, if appropriate, discuss ways you could help them inform their parents or carers. For example, you could talk to the young person's parents or carers on their behalf.

If the young person still wants to go ahead without their parents' or carers' knowledge or consent, you should consider the Gillick and Fraser guidelines. The following information looks at how this can be applied in practice.

Gillick competence

Gillick competence

Gillick competency applies mainly to medical advice but it is also used by practitioners in other settings. For example, if a child or young person:

would like to have therapeutic support but doesn't want their parents or carers to know about it

is seeking confidential support for substance misuse

has strong wishes about their future living arrangements which may conflict with their parents' or carers' views.

Medical professionals need to consider Gillick competency if a young person under the age of 16 wishes to receive treatment without their parents' or carers' consent or, in some cases, knowledge.

If the young person has informed their parents of the treatment they wish to receive but their parents do not agree with their decision, treatment can still proceed if the child has been assessed as Gillick competent.

There is specific guidance for medical professionals on using Gillick competence - see case history and legislation.

Assessing Gillick competence

There is no set of defined questions to assess Gillick competency. Professionals need to consider several things when assessing a child's capacity to consent, including:

the child's age, maturity and mental capacity

their understanding of the issue and what it involves - including advantages, disadvantages and potential long-term impact

their understanding of the risks, implications and consequences that may arise from their decision

how well they understand any advice or information they have been given

their understanding of any alternative options, if available

their ability to explain a rationale around their reasoning and decision making.

Remember that consent is not valid if a young person is being pressured or influenced by someone else.

Children's capacity to consent may be affected by different factors, for example stress, mental health conditions and the complexities of the decision they are making. The same child may be considered Gillick competent to make one decision but not competent to make a different decision.

If you don't think a child is Gillick competent or there are inconsistencies in their understanding, you should seek consent from their parents or carers before proceeding.

In complex medical cases, such as those involving disagreements about treatment, you may wish to seek the opinion of a colleague about a child's capacity to consent (Care Quality Commission, 2019).

Young people also have the right to seek a second opinion from another medical professional (General Medical Council, 2020).

Refusal of medical treatment

Gillick competency can be used when young people wish to refuse medical treatment.

However, if a young person refuses treatment which may lead to their death or severe permanent harm, their decision can be overruled. More information about this is available in the guidance for medical professionals in each UK nation - see case history and legislation.

Child protection concerns

The child's safety and wellbeing is paramount.

When you are assessing Gillick competency if you have any concerns about the safety of the young person you should check whether previous child protection concerns have been raised, and explore any factors that could put them at risk of abuse.

You must always share child protection concerns with the relevant agencies, even if this goes against a child's wishes.
> Find out more about recognising and responding to abuse

Fraser guidelines

Fraser guidelines

The Fraser guidelines apply specifically to advice and treatment about contraception and sexual health. They may be used by a range of healthcare professionals working with under 16-year-olds, including doctors and nurse practitioners.

Following a legal ruling in 2006, Fraser guidelines can also be applied to advice and treatment for sexually transmitted infections and the termination of pregnancy (Axton v The Secretary of State for Health, 2006).

Using the Fraser guidelines

Practitioners using the Fraser guidelines should be satisfied of the following:

the young person cannot be persuaded to inform their parents or carers that they are seeking this advice or treatment (or to allow the practitioner to inform their parents or carers).

the young person understands the advice being given.

the young person's physical or mental health or both are likely to suffer unless they receive the advice or treatment.

it is in the young person's best interests to receive the advice, treatment or both without their parents' or carers' consent.

the young person is very likely to continue having sex with or without contraceptive treatment.

(Gillick v West Norfolk, 1985)

Child protection concerns

When using Fraser guidelines for issues relating to sexual health, you should always consider any potential child protection concerns:

Underage sexual activity is a possible indicator of child sexual exploitation and children who have been groomed may not realise they are being abused.

Sexual activity with a child under 13 should always result in a child protection referral.

If a young person presents repeatedly about sexually transmitted infections or the termination of pregnancy this may be an indicator of child sexual abuse or exploitation.

You should always consider any previous concerns that may have been raised about the young person and explore whether there are any factors that may present a risk to their safety and wellbeing.

You must always share child protection concerns with the relevant agencies, even if a child or young person asks you not to.

> Find out more about recognising and responding to abuse

Case history, legislation and guidance

Gillick v West Norfolk and Wisbech Area Health Authority 1986

In 1982 Victoria Gillick took her local health authority (West Norfolk and Wisbech Area Health Authority) and the Department of Health and Social Security to court in an attempt to stop doctors from giving contraceptive advice or treatment to under 16-year-olds without parental consent.

The case went to the High Court in 1984 where Mr Justice Woolf dismissed Mrs Gillick's claims. The Court of Appeal reversed this decision, but in 1985 it went to the House of Lords and the Law Lords (Lord Scarman, Lord Fraser and Lord Bridge) ruled in favour of the original judgment delivered by Mr Justice Woolf:

"...whether or not a child is capable of giving the necessary consent will depend on the child's maturity and understanding and the nature of the consent required. The child must be capable of making a reasonable assessment of the advantages and disadvantages of the treatment proposed, so the consent, if given, can be properly and fairly described as true consent" (Gillick v West Norfolk, 1984).

What are the Fraser guidelines?

The Fraser guidelines refer to the guidelines set out by Lord Fraser in his judgment of the Gillick case in the House of Lords (Gillick v West Norfolk, 1985), which apply specifically to contraceptive advice.

Lord Fraser stated that a doctor should always encourage a girl aged under 16 to inform her parents or carers that she is seeking contraceptive advice (or allow the doctor to inform the parents or carers on her behalf). But if she cannot be persuaded to do so they can proceed to give contraceptive advice and treatment as long as certain conditions are met. This includes making sure it's in the girl's best interests for advice to be given and that she understands the advice.
> Find out more about using the Fraser guidelines
What is Gillick competence?

Lord Scarman's comments in his judgment of the Gillick case in the House of Lords (Gillick v West Norfolk, 1985) are often referred to as the test of "Gillick competency". He said:

"...it is not enough that she should understand the nature of the advice which is being given: she must also have a sufficient maturity to understand what is involved."

He also commented more generally on parents' versus children's rights:

"parental right yields to the child's right to make his own decisions when he reaches a sufficient understanding and intelligence to be capable of making up his own mind on the matter requiring decision."
> Find out more about assessing Gillick competency
Legislation and guidance

Gillick v West Norfolk and Wisbech Area Health Authority went to the House of Lords and is often used as a legal precedent across the UK.

In Scotland, the Age of Legal Capacity (Scotland) Act 1991 sets out when children have the legal capacity to make decisions. Section 2 sets out when a child under the age of 16 can consent to medical treatment or procedures.

Medical guidance

In England, the Department of Health and Social Care provides guidance for medical professionals on the legal framework they need to consider when obtaining valid consent to examination, treatment or care (Department of Health and Social Care, 2009).

In Northern Ireland the Department of Health provides consent guides for healthcare professionals (Department of Health, 2003).

In Scotland the NHS has provided a good practice guide on consent for health professionals (PDF) (Scottish Executive Health Department, 2006).

References and resources

References and resources

Axton v The Secretary of State for Health (The Family Planning Association: intervening) (2006) EWHC 37. As cited in Family Law Week.

Care Quality Commission (2019). Brief guide: capacity and competence to consent in under 18s (PDF). Care Quality Commission.

Department of Health (2003). Consent guides for healthcare professionals. [Accessed 02/02/2020].

Department of Health and Social Care (2009) Reference guide to consent for examination or treatment (second edition). London: Department of Health and Social Care.

Gillick v West Norfolk and Wisbech Area Health Authority and Department of Health and Social Security [1984] Q.B. 581. As cited in Children's Legal Centre (1985) Landmark decision for children's rights. Childright, 22: 11-18.

Gillick v West Norfolk & Wisbech Area Health Authority, UKHL 7 (17 October 1985) Available via (BAILII) in The law reports (appeal cases) [1986] AC 112.

Scottish Executive Health Department (2006). A good practice guide on consent for health professionals in NHS Scotland (PDF). Edinburgh: Scottish Executive

Childline

If a child or young person needs confidential help and advice direct them to Childline. Calls to 0800 1111 are free and children can also contact Childline online or read about children's rights on the Childline website.

You can also download or order Childline posters and wallet cards.

Elearning

Our online and face-to-face training courses can help develop your understanding of how to protect children from abuse and safely recruit staff and volunteers to work with children:

Further reading

For further reading about Gillick competency and Fraser guidelines, search the NSPCC Library catalogue using the keywords "Gillick competency" and "Fraser guidelines".
> Find out more about the Library and Information Service

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Gillick competence and Fraser guidelines | NSPCC Learning

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Gillick competency is often used to assess whether a child is mature enough to consent to treatment. Fraser guidelines are used for issues relating to sexual health.

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Providing parents and carers with the knowledge and resources to safeguard their families.

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Develop a deeper understanding of young people’s digital lives, spot warning signs, and create safer gaming spaces to confidently guide your children.

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Self-harm information - Mental Health Foundation

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Self-harm information - Mental Health Foundation

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NHS Advice

YoungMinds Parents Guide to Support

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Help for parents to navigate the world of technology and life online - with advice on social media, online gaming and screen time.

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Tips for parents to manage their child’s life online - BBC Parents’ Toolkit - BBC Bitesize

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Help for parents to navigate the world of technology and life online - with advice on social media, online gaming and screen time.

# data[].attributes.headline
Talking to Children & Young People about Cancer

# data[].attributes.subject
Talking to Children & Young People about Cancer

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https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/coping/mental-health-cancer/where-to-get-support/cancer-support-organisations/children-resources

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Talking to children and teenagers - Macmillan Cancer Support

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Trying to protect children from difficult news, worry and distress is natural. You may have concerns that delay or stop you explaining what is happening. You may feel it will bring home the reality of the situation, when you are still struggling to come to terms with it yourself.

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If you’re struggling with the urge to self-harm, there are ways to get through without hurting yourself.

We’ve got lots of ways to cope until the urge passes. Use this tool to get ideas of things to do instead of self-harming.

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Self-harm can be a way of dealing with difficult feelings. But we can help you find other ways to cope with what you're going through. Find out more.

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Child Sexual Abuse & Harmful Behaviour resource

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Child Sexual Abuse & Harmful Behaviour resource

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https://www.youthscape.co.uk/mentalhealthhub/self-harm

Download Calm Harm https://calmharm.stem4.org.uk/

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If you need help right now

If you feel like you are about to self-harm now, there are things you can do to help keep your mind off it. Watch the video about the TIPP technique - a simple technique you can use to help you in the moment.
If you are in an emergency or worried for your life you should call 999.

Self-harm is when you intentionally cause harm to yourself as a way of dealing with difficult feelings, traumatic experiences or memories, neglect, or situations that you find overwhelming. People sometimes self-harm when life feels hard to cope with.

Self-harm can look different for different people. You might find yourself doing things which are harmful, but not think of them as 'self-harm'. But that doesn't make your experience any less valid.

Self-harm can look like:

cutting yourself

using drugs or alcohol to cope with your problems

not eating, over-eating, or forcing yourself to throw up

spending all your time on addictive behaviours like gaming, social media or gambling

over-exercising and/or exercising when you are injured

biting, hitting or burning yourself

hitting walls

getting into situations on purpose where you risk getting hurt, including fights or risky sexual behaviour

Often self-harming only brings temporary relief. You might also have negative feelings after self-harming, such as guilt, shame or fear. When difficult feelings start to build up again, you might feel like you have to harm again. It can be really hard to break out of this cycle. Self-harming can become a habit and it can be upsetting to think that this is your only way to cope. But there are things you can do to stop self-harming and get better. And with support, you can learn other ways of coping when things feel too much.

People self-harm for many different reasons. Some people find it hard to explain why they do it, but often it's a way for people to let out feelings that are hard to explain or control.

There are many reasons why you might self-harm and these reasons will be different for everyone. You might be dealing with lots of intense thoughts and feelings and hurting yourself might feel like the only way to let those feelings out. Or you might feel numb and want to hurt yourself so that you can feel something.

For some people, self-harm feels like a way to show the feelings they have inside on the outside. It can be a way of:

People often start self-harming due to something stressful or upsetting that is going on in their life that is difficult to deal with . This could be something like:

suffering abuse

experiencing a traumatic incident

family problems like a divorce

money worries

bullying

a sudden change in your life, like a death, a relationship ending or moving school

exam stress or extreme pressure or criticism from family, friends, teachers or at work

low self-esteem or issues with body image

difficult feelings like loneliness, anxiety, depression or anger

an illness or health problem

feelings of guilt, failure, or being unloved

experiencing discrimination against your race, religion, sexuality, gender or disability

These are just examples. Whatever the reason you started self-harming, your feelings matter and you can get through this.

You may not always know the reason why you are self-harming. If you're unsure why, or don't understand the reasons, you are not alone and you can still get help.

Show/hide caption

Artwork credit: @the_mini_ADHD_coach

An illustration of a face with eyes closed. Text reads: 'It's ok to feel overwhelmed.'

Things can happen in life that can leave us feeling overwhelmed, angry and hurt. Instead of finding ways to express those feelings to the world, we might start to take this pain and anger out on ourselves.

We might self-harm because we have learnt that in order to be accepted or loved we have to be 'perfect'. When we don't live up to this 'perfect' image we can feel like a 'failure'. The constant guilt, or worry about disappointing people, can make us feel like we need to punish ourselves for not being 'good enough'. If this resonates with you, you're not alone. With the right support, you can stop feeling this way, and learn to love yourself for who you are.

Sometimes people make comments about self-harm being attention-seeking. Comments like this can be hurtful and make you feel judged, alone or misunderstood. Those who self-harm actually often keep this private. However, if you do self-harm as a way of bringing attention to yourself, remember that there is nothing wrong with wanting people to notice you more and wanting to have your feelings taken seriously. You deserve to feel loved by those around you and you deserve support.

Show/hide caption

Artwork credit: @ohhappydani

An illustration of six arms all of different skin tones. On each arm reads the word 'worthy'.

Overall, the most important thing which I hope everyone knows is you don't have to go through this alone.

I was only 14 when I started to self-harm. I was never intending to hurt myself. I was doing it for the sense of relief it provided. I felt like the only way I could function and leave my room was if I had that release.

Ways to keep yourself safe now

It's really important to keep yourself as safe as possible and reduce your risk of serious self-injury. Even though you want to stop self-harming, you might not feel able to stop straight away. Sometimes it can take time to find new ways to cope, and that's normal.

If you are unable to stop self-harming right now, make sure you are at least doing it as safely as possible. This means using sterile equipment, keeping your wounds clean, and avoiding mixing drugs and alcohol with other forms of self-harm. You can also call Samaritans at any time - whether you're thinking about self-harm or have already harmed yourself.
If you are in an emergency or worried for your life you should call 999 or go to A&E.

Things you can do to help

There are also lots of things you can do in the moment to help you not self-harm.

When you feel the urge to self-harm building, you could try to:

go for a walk or do some gentle exercise

distract yourself by focusing on your breathing

text a friend and let them know you need them to help you take your mind off things

play music and sing or dance along

hold an ice cube

write down your thoughts

hit a cushion or pillow

tear up a magazine or newspaper

make a self-soothe box

go to a public place like a park or a cafe

You might find the TIPP technique helps to stop your urge to self-harm.

This video explains how to use the TIPP technique to help you feel calmer.

Ways to keep yourself safe in the long term

There are also a number of ways to help yourself in the long term and support your recovery journey.

Talking about self-harm can feel difficult. It is understandable that you might feel nervous to talk to someone, feel like you'll be judged or feel you won't be understood. But talking about how you're feeling with someone you trust can help you to get the right support.

Try talking to someone you feel comfortable and safe with, like a friend or family member. If you don't feel like you can talk to friends or family, you could talk to someone in your wider community, such as a teacher, a school counsellor/nurse, a faith leader or a youth worker. Think about who you would feel most comfortable communicating with and how, whether it's face to face, over the phone, by text or email.

In some communities it can feel more difficult to reach out for help because of certain stigmas around mental health. If you reach out for help and the person you talk to does not react the way you hoped, remember that this reaction is about them, not you. Don't let their reaction discourage you from reaching out again. If you don't feel like you can reach out to someone you know, remember that there are still lots of people who can help. You may prefer to get support from a professional, a helpline or through a charity. Take a look at our list of organisations that can help, and don't struggle on your own.

Speaking to a professional about self-harm can feel scary, but it's often an important step to recovery. You may be worried that you'll be misunderstood or judged, but there are lots of trained people that you can talk to who understand and really care. That's because they speak to lots of young people who are going through this too. They are there to listen and support you.

It is helpful to tell the GP exactly what you are doing and what your worries are. If you need medical treatment for injuries, do make sure you get it. Don't be afraid or embarrassed to go to your GP or hospital for this - they are there to help you get better and it is not their job to judge you.

Your GP will listen and discuss the best options to support you. They might offer you an assessment with a local community mental health team, or if you are under 18, they can refer you to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) for an assessment. These assessments are so they can help you to find the right treatment, such as counselling or talking therapy, where you can talk with a trained mental health professional about what you are feeling and ways you can cope.

The types of talking therapy you might be offered include:

cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) - a type of therapy that focuses on how your thoughts, beliefs and attitudes affect your feelings and actions

dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) - a type of CBT adapted specifically for people who experience emotions very intensely

mentalisation-based therapy (MBT) - a type of therapy that focuses on helping you to make sense of your own and other people's thoughts, feelings and actions

Find out more about counselling and therapy in our guide.

Sometimes the first person you speak to won't help, but that doesn't make your feelings invalid. If you are finding it hard to get the right support from your GP, you may find it helpful to turn to other support, such as your school nurse or a specialist organisation such as Samaritans. For more tips and advice getting the right support from your GP, including information about your rights as a patient, visit our guide on how to speak to your GP about mental health.

Journaling can be a helpful way to let out your emotions. It can also help you to recognise what is bothering you and any patterns in what triggers you or causes you to feel bad.

Take a few minutes every day to write down how you are feeling. If you don't like writing, try doodling, drawing or recording a voice note. Remember this is just a way to express yourself - there's no right or wrong way to do this and nobody has to see it but you.

If you want to, you could show your journal to any mental health professionals who are supporting you, to help them understand what you are going through.

Sometimes just making small changes to your daily routine can help improve your mood. Consider trying some of these changes:

Make sure you get enough sleep and stay hydrated - staying physically healthy can help you to feel happier.

Take time out when you need to - this could be going for a walk, doing some drawing or relaxing however you like to.

Think of three things you are proud of each day - you could do this when you first wake up or just before you go to sleep.

Be as kind to yourself as you would be to your best friend - think about the advice and support you would give someone else if you heard they were struggling.

The internet can be a helpful space for those who self-harm. It offers a lot of information, advice and support. You may also find that it's easier to speak openly about your feelings through social media, rather than face-to-face. However, there is also a lot of content about self-harm on the internet that can be distressing or make you feel worse. We also know that those who have peers that self-harm are more likely to self-harm themselves. Think about how your use of social media is affecting your mood and what content is best for you. Make sure to only follow accounts that make you feel positive and safe.

Some people find it really helpful to create a 'safety plan' that they can use when the urge to self-harm is really strong. This can include whatever you think would be helpful, but generally it includes ideas of what you can do to distract yourself, who you can speak to, and what else you can do to keep yourself safe. Papyrus have a useful guide to creating a safety plan, which might help if you'd like to create your own. Although the focus of their guide is for suicidal feelings, you can use it for self-harm as well.

Show/hide caption

Artwork credit: @crazyheadcomics

An image of a bendy road titled 'the road to recovery'. Text along the road reads: 'start', 'progress', 'hope', 'relapse', 'second attempt', 'setback', 'growth', 'change', 'calm'.

If you have self-harmed by cutting or wounding yourself in some way, you are likely to have scars on your body from this. You may find that you have a number of emotions and feelings associated with these scars, such as guilt, regret or difficulties accepting your body image. This can be particularly difficult if you are experiencing stigma around your self-harm.

For advice on how to manage stigma around self-harm within your community, take a look at Louisa's blog.

If you're really struggling with the scars left on your body, you may be able to find treatment that can help. You can find information about scar treatments on the NHS website. Scars will look different for everyone depending on skin tone, where the scar is and the type of wound that caused the scar, and this will lead to different treatment options. Not everyone will want to do this and that is completely okay - it is your body and you should only do what feels comfortable for you.

It can be really difficult if you know a friend or loved one is self-harming. It's hard to see someone you love hurting themself in that way, and it can be difficult to know how best to support them.

Just being there and letting them know they're not alone can be very helpful, but it's also important to remember that you may not be able to help them on your own.

Remember there is always support available.

Recognising the signs and symptoms of self-harm

There are lots of different ways that someone might self-harm and this can make it difficult to spot the signs. Your loved one is likely to be in both physical and emotional pain during this time. Here are some signs to look out for.

If your loved one is self-harming by cutting or wounding themself, you may be able to notice some physical signs. This could include:

keeping their body fully covered all the time, even when it is hot, like wearing long sleeves to conceal scars (this is only a sign of self-harm if they do not normally wear long sleeves or clothes that cover the whole body)

having cuts, bruises or burn marks on their body that are unexplained

unexplained scarring on their skin

unexplained blood stains on clothing or tissues

any signs that they are pulling out their hair, for example hair loss or large clumps of hair lying around

Self-harm takes lots of different forms, not just physically hurting yourself. So it's important to also be aware of the emotional signs. These might include:

becoming very withdrawn and talking less than usual to others

unusual changes in mood, such as feeling low, teary or demotivated

making suicidal comments e.g. talking about not wanting to go on

expressing feelings of self-blame, hopelessness or failure

Supporting a loved one with self-harm now
If a friend or family member has self-harmed and has injuries that need medical attention, you should take them to A&E to seek medical help.
The most important thing you can do to support someone is be there to listen. Talking about self-harm is difficult, but having that conversation can help your loved one take the first step to recovery.

Take a look at our tips below for having a sensitive conversation.

Supporting a loved one with self-harm in the long term

Here are some tips on how you can give ongoing support to someone in your life who is self-harming.

Recovery can only happen when your loved one takes steps towards this for themself. You can't force someone to get better. It can be very difficult to see someone you love struggle with self-harm, but letting them be in control of their decisions will support their recovery in the long term. But remember you should always get them medical attention if needed.

You may find it helpful to develop a 'safety plan' with your loved one. This is a tool you can use to help communicate with each other and keep your loved one safe. Samaritans have advice on this as well as a safety plan template you can use.

Speaking to a GP about self-harm may be a scary thought for your loved one, but encouraging them to do this is important so they get the right support. If they really don't want to talk to a GP, there are also lots of charity services and helplines that can help.

This page was reviewed in June 2023. It was co-created by young people with lived experience of self-harm. We will next review the page in 2026. YoungMinds is a proud member of PIF TICK - the UK's quality mark for trusted health information.
Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn't a mental health support service. If you are in crisis right now and want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

At YoungMinds we take your privacy seriously. If you'd like to read more about how we keep the information we collect safe, take a look at our privacy policy.

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Self-harm | Advice for young people | Get help

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Self-harm is when you intentionally harm yourself as a way of dealing with difficult feelings or experiences. Find out about self-harm and how to get help.

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Thinking of suicide?

Are you, or is a young person you know, not coping with life? For confidential suicide prevention advice contact HOPELINE247.

My whole way of thinking has changed. I feel positive about my future and the people around me. I'm now looking forward to the future and helping others just like me!

Thank you so much for the incredible support PAPYRUS and HOPELINE247 has given me. You helped me in that moment and it kept me alive.

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