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One example in my life has recently been discussions I have have been trying to have with my nephew regarding his girlfriend and her influence in his life. This conversation meets the criteria because we have opposing opinions as well as it evokes strong emotions on his end. This is very personal, and it is his first love. Lag time is a factor because I don't see him or talk to him every day, so when I do, time has passed and I cannot capitalize on the moment.

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a black and white photo of a brown hair women talking with a 19 year old nephew

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From the start of the school year, I noticed a teacher who normally is in the hallway and interacting with students, including being more vigilant with supervision sitting behind their desk more, not in their doorway much during transition times, and felt like they were on their phone a lot. After giving lag time just hoping this would improve, I finally had the conversation with the teacher about my observations; I also approached this in a supportive manner because the teacher's spouse has been going through some serious medical issues. When we spoke, the teacher immediately broke down crying, afraid of what might happen in life without their spouse and with two small children. It was a conversation that I probably should have had sooner to offer more support and that I was there to talk with. Since the conversation, in addition to some positive medical updates, I have noticed the teacher more back to their previous behaviors and more jovial.

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white male principal supportive conversation with a white male teacher

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I have an ongoing crucial conversation with my son Drew who is 25 and considering a variety of options for work advancement, relationships, life, and leadership. We do this on a weekly basis during a Sunday morning run.

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Father/adult son conversation about life, career, relationships

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With a new curriculum added to our building this year. Certain teachers have had differing opinions about the effectiveness, pace, and topics covered in certain areas. Lag time is certainly a factor because I am determined to quickly listen to and support all opinions as well as present teachers with materials and resources they need to feel more confident in the curriculum. There were always going to be growing pains with the new curriculum this year and I want to make sure all teachers are heard and felt as though there opinion matters.

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Principal meeting with a teacher with concerns about curriculum

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One example in my life has been discussions I have had with my sister regarding care and plan moving forward for the the care of our mother and how to handle areas of health and finances. This conversation meets the criteria because there have been opposing views as to how aggressively we support her needs for medical care. Also, we have been communicating regarding downsizing my mother's home coupled with some long-term decisions on her property. These conversations have become a bit emotional due to the sensitive nature of these decisions as well as past experiences working together making similar decisions for our father. We have been setting scheduled times to talk so there is not a lot of 'lag' time in between and making progress.

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picture of family sister and brother hugging

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Conversation/s with Jon about ways to be consistent with parenting strategies we are working on to support Jack's behavior. Lots of emotions, strong opinions, high stakes. Lag time sometimes impacted by work schedules.

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two dialogue bubbles, one red, one black

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I recently experienced a personal matter that elicited very strong emotions within my family. This experience meets the criteria set in chapter one of Crucial Conversations because the stakes were high. Lag time was a factor because the topic was sensitive and I struggled to find the words to appropriate communicate with my family. Once these conversations occurred, the response was extremely positive and a great learning experience.

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emotionally charged conversation with family black and white picture

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One example of a recent crucial conversation that I was a part of was with an elementary teacher regarding student placement. This fit the opposing opinions and strong emotions criteria of a crucial conversation. This teacher felt passionately that this student should not be placed in their room due to the negative behaviors that she heard the student displayed from other staff members. I felt passionately about trying all options for this child before "giving up". Lag time is a factor because I recognize that I am not in the classroom daily, but that we need to try other options due to the behaviors that are being exhibited. Additionally, providing the teacher with time to digest and plan for this move was critical.

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Our oldest daughter, a junior in college, got a dog over the summer (although advised not the best idea). He has some separation anxiety and is causing her a great deal of stress. This is coupled with her dealing with the death of one of her best friends over the summer. The dog was meant to help heal, and is, but is also causing her some anxiety. I have had some difficult conversations about whether she needs to rehome the dog or if she can push through for herself and for her dog. We believe that if she invests the time, he will be the best bad decision she has ever made. She does not want to "give up" on him but lacks the confidence that she will be successful. The lag time creates time for a greater bond but also for glimpses of growth in both of them.

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Having a 14-yr old son who is in 8th grade, I have had multiple conversations about being responsible on his cell phone, along with anything that may appear inappropriate (strong emotions). While he is currently not on social media, he is still exposed to the internet, and has access to social media outlets through his friends. I have reserved some of the conversations to be discussed with his father, but from a school standpoint, I have an opportunity to reach him due to my knowledge and connections at his school.