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--listen to the audio

--listen to the audio and write down key words, free draw, anything

--through line?

--editing shift to more speech?

--Liz Lerman, pose different ideas and explain them...

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1. having the piece begin with the "start" of a panic attack --> the audio plays and I try to use journaling as a coping mechanism, but it wont work so I begin to do the brain dance. As I dance it, I find regulation and homeostasis

2. the idea i like better: the piece begins with me at a desk. as the audio begins i draw on pieces of paper, and write the name of the speaker and key words + maybe free draws (feel as thought I am dancing them), (attaching and emphasizing identity/telling stories), looking maybe frantic and throwing the pieces in the air when they are completed. After vestibular, I gather the papers and place then around the room in a "mapping"/"organized" fashion. THEN, I do each element of the brain dance while traveling around the room from one location/person/element to another.

1. adjust the audio so that it repeats (maybe in a shorter version) for when I ACTUALLY do the brain dance

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--interview for upper-lower

--interview for cross-lateral

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This class blew my mind (as I am sure I communicated through my WOW's and AW's)! It was so powerful to me, because it expanded my understanding of artful-ness, live art, and the utilization of multi-media. Keith's presentation was structured incredibly well; he started with an introduction to what video/projection design means, how HE has used it/created within in, and then practical examples! I learned that it can actually be incredibly simple, and doesn't have to be this "computer sciency" "coding" thing. What struck me the most was the combination between recorded media and live art to create MORE live art. I love the idea of mixing previously filmed media with dance or other movement -- I think that it would give a feeling of 4d art! I can't wait to explore this further:)

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ideas random: Transitions in brain dance (body side = indecisiveness or decisiveness —> Body on one side and body on the other)

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I learned...

1. sound engineering/sound design can feel "artful" in nature and not necessarily technological

2. EVERYTHING can be sound!

3. There is a way to make radio sounds clearer! It was so interesting to watch John transform Miranda's recording into one that included MUCH less background noise and "fuzzy" sound.

4. The sound designer ISNT in the booth in the back the whole time...they assign roles to a sound operator and their "sound sequences" are recorded

5. Layering is possible and easy within one track!

6. John creates a linear structure -- each "item" is coded and presented sequentially.

7. A sound designer will read through a script and interpret (maybe alongside a director) where beats occur -- which could inform sound changes

8. John introduced the idea of reverb as a transition tool! As a way to go from one sound or sequence of sounds to another, he upped the reverb so that it sounded like the sound DIFFUSES away (rather than terminates)

9. Musicals (with multiple microphones) seem much more intuitive than i thought! Each microphone has its own column with different commands...I am excited for Nina's musical

10. ...how sound designers have a conglomerate or "sound pallet" of material that they can carry with them between shows and projects --> sort of like a vocabulary of its own

11. The sound design begins with the "pre-show" sound --> reminded me that sound and sound design is even present in the ambience created before a show starts! SO COOL!

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--"sound is a spatial event"

--the entire performance that includes music/sound is part of the sound experience (intentional or incidental) --> doesnt just start when the cellist begins to play the instrument (ex. heals walking on stage)

--sound is much more than "hearing" it is about absorbing "movement" and vibration throughout the whole body

--vibrations set the ear in MOTION (sound is movement, again) --> mindblowing

--this connects dance to music even more closely!

--the relationship between hearing (movement), language (movement) and physical manifestation of both (movement)

--> maybe it is all different side of the same coin!!

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--3 pens

--scissors

--tape

--paper on stage

1. when it if your element approach the paper

2. draw, write, delete, add

3. scissors

4. pass pen

5. leave the audience when your element ends

Assignments:

1. breath -- chi

2. tactile -- eliza

3. core-distal -- nina

4. head-tail -- Song + tim

5. upper-lower -- Gyury

6. body side -- joyce

7. cross-lateral -- leo + Aude

8. vestibular -- sukey

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I loved this documentary and found it an impactful and important watch. I learned a lot about how stories are gathered, embodied, and shared, and the beauty of telling other's tales/experiences with intention. E. Johnsons decision to create a living archive of people's stories THROUGH artistic means, is inspiring to me. It proves how performance art can act as both a literal and metaphorical representation of lived experience. I was also inspired by the structure of the film. The documentary itself had an effective arc and flow -- it was based in this idea of "making sweet tea" (equal to the play) and encompassed HIS story of creating the play along with the individual stories (of black gay men in the south). Through this structure and lens, we were able to witness his artistic process along with his collection of ethnographic data. The documentary also helped me learn about what critical ethnographic research really looks like, AND it allowed me to reflect on the intersectional role of religiosity as a community building/preserving tool. I look forward to researching more about E. Johnson's work and the play itself.

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This semester I am tending to the space that I am creating. I am living off campus for the first time, and I am eager to nurture a room and house that feels safe and homie. Hopefully I will continue to decorate with plants and meaningful items throughout the semester!

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I am currently obsessed with all of the Jungle videos! Jungle is a music group (that I really love), and for their albums they create a series of music videos performed by dancers. This last album was INCREDIBLE, and I cannot recommend these videos enough. Such beautiful dancing and musicality! Look up Dominoes, Candle Flame, and Pretty Little Thing.

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I thoroughly enjoyed talking about this play in class today, because I feel like I learned a lot from my classmates through hearing what was poignant or notable for them in their respective viewing experiences. After reviewing key design, performance, and direction moments (along with powerful lines that stood out), there are only a few things I want to reflect on here.

Firstly I want to echo my classmates' points about the effectiveness of the pacing in the play. The quick pace was associated with playful dialogue which created moments of successful comedic timing, for example. However, the pace of the characters' interactions slowed down notably during moments of distress or tension. Through this, the tension was even more visceral and memorable. Additionally, with my little devising company we noticed that all the key moments involved an outburst of emotion (almost exclusively a fight) followed by a departure. Aka, the structure of the important moments went: trigger, explosion, departure of child. Therefore, throughout the play, everything felt more emotionally charged ("bigger" emotionally), yet the family got smaller.

The largest thing I am taking away (and what made it so relatable) is it felt like an intentional demonstration of the deep dysfunction in the "typical, white, American family model". Chi noted in class that this story is as old as time. I couldn't agree more, but I would argue that most white people don't conceptualize their family structures as incredibly dysfunctional UNTIL they are presented with art like this. Sometimes it takes art that feels redundant to many, to open people's eyes and help break generational curses like "settling" or sacrificing dreams to fit into a rigid family model (where everyone feels trapped).

Things I would change:

1. I wish there had been more exploration with the artful, creative transitions. I was hoping to see more abstract movement (in dialogue, for example) that we saw in the monologues from time to time.

2. I think it would have been even more powerful (and made a deeper point about the dysfunctional structure) if the mom hadn't died. That way, they would have all had to stay trapped and paralyzed in their family. THIS to me (from a storytelling perspective) is even MORE devastating.

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1. What is the first creative moment you remember?

I remember going to work with my thespian father, who was my primary caregiver as a young kid , and hanging out backstage along while he was on stage. While backstage in the dressing room, I would sneak into the actors' makeup bags (most notably my father's and my faunt [fake aunt's, dad's best friend) and experimenting with makeup alone -- most notably, applying layers of lipstick and blush. I was probably 4 years old.

2. Was anyone there to witness of appreciate it?

This was a secret, sacred act that involved a little bit of deviousness

3. What is the best idea you've ever had?

During a dance independent study my junior year of high school, I decided to create a movement gallery where dancers moved individually and together in a gallery setting like art pieces. The audience would have had complete freedom to explore the space and engage with the dancers. There was much more to this idea, and I was excited to explore it deeply, but COVID happened and I had to reinvent the study entirely.

4. What made it great in your mind?

I had never seen anything like it before, which made me empowered. I also liked that it combined different creative mediums, and explored artist/audience relationships.

5. What is the dumbest idea?

Senior year of high school my drama class was tasked with interpreting a song we love as a monologue. I chose supermodel by SZA which was a great song, but it did not have a great narrative quality...

6. What made it stupid

My dad was the teacher. And it was rather explicit. And we were both blushing. And it was a little embarrassing...

7. Can you connect the dots that led you to this idea?

I wanted to do something quirky and cool. Unfortunately, that was not the result.

8. What is your creative ambition?

To choreograph something awesome, campy, and dramatic in Scripps Dances this spring!

9. What are the obstacles to this ambition?

That I have a very perfectionist view on my choreography, and I am worried that my own critical mind will impede my creativity.

10. What are the vital steps to achieving this ambition

Trusting the creative process, being kind to my self, and tending to my needs.

11. How do you begin your day?

Drinking coffee and finishing up on homework that I decided not to do the night before.

12. What are your habits? What patterns do you repeat?

I habitually write down everything that stresses me out, that I need to accomplish, and other miscellaneous reminders.

13. Describe your first successful creative act.

When I was a young dancer, I spent lots of time choreographing alongside other dancers at the end of "creative modern" classes. This means the first time I choreographed was around 5 years of age. The first that I can remember, was when I choreographed with Laban principles in first grade. I thought it was a great success because I had a lot of fun, and felt creative!

14. Describe your second successful creative act.

The next one that comes to mind, was when I began collaging in elementary school.

15. Compare them.

The former was more scaffolded and collaborative. The latter was more individual and had physical resources/materials to work from.

16. What are your attitudes toward: money, power, praise, rivals, work, play?

My attitudes towards these concepts are convoluted and not fully flushed out. In an artistic sense, I've struggled a lot with the idea of how money and monetary compensation changes the artistic process and/or the product. I do not feel very powerful as an artist because I have a very self-critical complex, and therefore, view all other artists as more powerful. I rely too much on praise, have little connection to "rival" in my dance experience (because I make very conscious efforts not to compare myself to others), and NEED play in creating. Play is SO important in creating work for me because it is all about ENJOYING experimentation.

17. Which artists do you admire most?

I admire choreographers like Crystal Pite and Kyle Abraham

18. Why are they your role models?

I am inspired by the movement they create, and the choreographic themes they play with. Their processes are distinct but they both involve collaboration and experimentation. They are always trying to break new ground.

19. What do you and your role models have in common?

Experimentation and play. Going back to the drawing board and reinventing (and trying to not get discouraged along the way).

20. Does anyone in your life regularly inspire you?

My dad! He is incredibly impactful for me from an artistic and "non-artistic" perspective.

21. Who is your muse?

I don't know right now... I am currently choreographing and piece about aliens so...aliens are my muse.

22. Define muse.

A person, figure, or concept that drives your work and inspires creation. A framework for storytelling.

23. When confronted with superior intelligence or talent, how do you respond?

I initially respond by being in awe, and then I often feel threatened (regrettably). In some instances though, I just leave feeling inspired.

24. When faced with stupidity, hostility, intransigence, laziness, or indifference in others, how do you respond?

I think that indifference is one of the qualities I am most reactive/responsive to. By this, I mean that it makes my blood boil. I would rather witness and explosion of emotion (in any direction), than see "neutrality" or indifference. This sentiment largely applies to my perspective on "laziness" as well. In the cases of the three first words presented, I would associate feelings of frustration and bitterness.

25. When faced with impending success or the threat of failure, how do you respond?

When pressure takes the form of impending success or potential failure, I often freeze and retreat. For example, in an audition when I have an opportunity to present my skills, the line between brilliant success and devastation becomes overwhelming and I psych myself out.

26. When you work, do you love the process or the result?

The process. In performance art the product is so fleeting. I love to perform, but the process of creating and building a product is most compelling to me.

27. At what moments do you feel your reach exceeds your grasp?

I am a very busy person. And sometimes the anxiety of forgetting a task or scheduling too much in, feels like I am living one step behind myself rather than driving the car. Metaphors ha...

28. What is your ideal creative activity?

Dancing! I love to make dances alone or with friends.

29. What is your greatest fear?

Becoming bored or falling into a trapping routine. This applies to work life, home life, etc., etc.

30. What is the likelihood of either of the answers to the previous two questions happening?

In regards to the previous question, I hope very low... The response to #28, is rather inevitable. I am dancing all the time! However, 29, is much scarier. I hope with my awareness, it will be much less likely to occur.

31. Which of your answers would you most like to change?

My greatest fear. I wish I didn't dread boredom and simplicity.

32. What is your idea of mastery?

Feeling like you have succeeded in embodying your craft in a way that represents you, the craft itself, and the passion behind both. Mastery is more than an expert, it is someone who knows the ins and outs of come discipline while being a point person for advice and wisdom surrounding that discipline.

33. What is your greatest dream?

To travel all around South America.

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New Orleans’s Intramural Theater Centers Consent in Their Devising Model

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New Orleans’s Intramural Theater Centers Consent in Their Devising Model

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I really appreciated reading about a devising process because until this moment, I have struggled to define, explain, and describe what devising truly entails. I know I have only been in this class for a week (so I doubt that was an expectation), but reading this material gave me insight with tangible information. The first thing that stuck out to me, was the emphasis on playfulness and nurturing ones inner child. The process itself may be structured and rather formulaic, but it is in place to allow for the upmost creativity and child-like energy. In other words, it was clear that the company members take their work seriously, but not THEMSELVES too seriously as performers, creators, practitioners, etc.

The process itself makes a lot of logical sense: beginning with a single inspiration or set of initial ideas, that then blossoms into a collaborative process. In reading about the "linear" process itself (though I doubt it functions linearly), the clear intention to create collaboratively, stood out to me. That is what felt like the "point" of devising from their perspective (in this mission statement kind of format): to create something collective WITHIN community. For example, each decision is "consensus" based and it is clear that democracy in the group is a focus. It also seems like they try and gather as much material as possible and then narrow down to create something more focused. I admire this, as it feels more empowering to eliminate material/s as the process evolves rather than scramble for more.

Lastly, I appreciate their acknowledgement of how the theatre company itself doesn't necessarily represent the community in which it operates. It seems as though they are putting effort into this discussion of inclusivity. I wonder how that will manifest in their outreach and other work.

last LAST point: I would love to investigate the idea of "creative negotiation" more.

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Here is a collection of my favorite quotes:

1. "racial tenderness..." (2)

2. "need for artists and educators to foster sites of public dissent and oppositional art is fueled by to-or-die urgency" (2)

3. "to emphasize the body as a site of knowing resists the Western idea that the mind is supreme" (3)

4. "awaken and honor the body's intelligence" (3)

5. Sarah Jane Bailes quote: "The body is a way of thinking, and intellectual work can also be a creative practice".

I learned a lot from this reading including the origins of La Pocha Nostra, the intentionality behind their work, the idea of "radical performance" from the perspective of a person of color, and the power of the "body's intelligence". So much of this reading stood out to me, notably the quotes listed above, but I would like to comment mostly on the idea of how radicalism can also manifest in radicalism in our own bodies. This idea of breaking boundaries and moving beyond borders exists in a political sense and in the messaging/mission of this group, but also in one's own body. Also the idea that art, creativity, and movement requires intelligence is so overlooked in academia, and it was refreshing and validating to read about the intelligence that creativity requires.

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--documentary begins by making the LITERAL sweet tea (setting up a frame of reference for the story) --> slow process with all the sounds

--making sweet tea = initially a BOOK

--this literal representation goes RIGHT into a series of comments on what "spilling tea" or "sharing tea" is

--rail road tracks dividing the community racially (south vs. north)

--"we didnt feel poor" , "rich in so many other ways"

-- directors and people apart of the process do NOT seem passionate like Johnson is...

--charles: "who would want to write about me and my story...who cares" --> "you loose yourself in accommodating to others"

--charles --> deeply committed to god's "perspective" on homosexuality

--rules were initially broken around gender before sexuality (embodying femininity before expressing "gayness")

--"i didn't come out, I was pulled out"

--shean --> mother NEVER changed the way he was treated (she embraced his life deeply)

--the surprising role of religion (countess, charles, E. Johnson, etc.)

--ritualistic --> united by the routine of SWEET sweet tea (lots of sugar)

--note: opens up the discussion about impressionism?

--johnson = first black man to get a PhD in hickory ("being black and gay motivated my overachievement" --> "when my time came for me to come out as gay, it wouldn't be as disappointing"

--therapists have to ensure you are "mentally sound" before receiving the diagnosis of "transsexual" --> Charles' gender transition was prompted by thinking that you had to be a woman to love men?

--"black respectability" --> fear of recieving disappointment/disgrace (especially with E. J.'s time in/with the church

--role of intersectionality --> violence against those interviewed (blackness layered with gayness and religiosity)

--"same religion that supports and encourages you is the same religion that damns you to hell"

--the importance of gardening ("you know all the rules and then disregard them") --Freddie

--countess is 97 THERES NO WAY

--freddie: "im not a victim anymore, im triumphant"

--the POWER of having your told --> maybe it is even more powerful BY someone other than yourself because you feel like and agent and seen (this idea of "ownership" becomes irrelevant")

--the book of sweet tea was needed --> urgency to fill in the history and create an archive of experience

--"how did you get these men to open up about their stories" --> "i asked"

--the intentional proliferation of this work and art by Johnson (very meta...stories within stories within stories to create this comprehensive archive)

--collective knowledge around making this tea --> the second time it is made in the documentary, it is accompanied by music like a performance

--powerful framework of the film: storytelling about storytelling (inviting the interviewees in to watch THEIR stories told by E.J for the intention of showing them to a greater audience)

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I look forward to discussing this reading in class tomorrow! I was struck by a number of things, and am eager to watch the Rite performance danced by both African and European dancers. That is to say, I want to witness the piece in its "original" form and then how it was transformed as it was passed onto the "next generation" (a concept mentioned in the reading). Something that struck me was on page 6 when Armenta describes the dancers' intention to master the choreography and learn as many parts as they could rather than their individual part. This idea of creating community within the performance piece itself, is powerful to me. In big rep pieces, dancers should be encouraged to learn all the parts. Not JUST so they could fill in as an understudy, but so there is an effort to create a COLLECTIVE piece of art, even when there are individual moments on stage. Classically European dance forms are so individualistic in nature, so reading about it being transformed and adapted for a predominately African community shows how collectivism can make art more powerful. I am curious as so what they communities within the different casts looked like, and if they embody these distinctions between collectivism and individualism (in the rehearsal process AND the performance).

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--the other elements at play when a piece is PUT on dancers who were not originally involved in the first choreographic/performance process: the dancers feel as though it is hard to claim the work, and the choreographer commissioned is often SO attached

--I wonder what is inspiring these high school kids to continue

--theatre and dance are so similar

--what is THIS choreographer's intention

--the misconception that to SAY SOMETHING with dance or movement, you NEED dramatization

--the exercise of asking teenagers to perform intimacy

--performing love before even knowing what it really is

--in terms of the whole piece itself, it was hard to identify the story of the DANCE...however, that may not be the point at all.

--dance has always felt like an exclusive art, so it it is empowering to watch "non-dancers" be dancers and DO dance

--makes me thinks of hierarchies that form in dance/choreography spaces (the main blonde character was the favorite [of jo])

--when is it appropriate to set a piece on another demographic or company (question im dealing with right now)? --> is this a FORMATIVE experience for these kids (learning about intimacy in this setting, is that healthy??)

*interesting choice by the director to show the previous piece as an "example"! rare in my opinion!

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This was one of the most impactful pieces of dance I have ever seen on stage. By impactful, I simply mean, I felt so physically and emotionally moved by their collective work. I am still not exactly sure how to place those emotions or feelings and articulate them into words that fit, but my mind was blown and my concept of cohesion was unearthed and transformed. I was so engaged as an audience member, and just wanted to see MORE. This MORE, after talking to Suchi Branfman and others after the show, means MORE in terms of the piece itself AND of the dancers as individual movers. In other words, conversations post-show made me think about the purpose of recreating art. Does this work empower these dancers by reassigning the protagonist or the subject from a white to a black dancer, or is it MORE powerful to see black dancers and companies reclaiming artistic power by generating their OWN work. These are questions I do not have the answers to, nor do I know if my answers would even be appropriate as a white spectator in this context. Either way, watching the piece gave me a lot to think about in regards to representation and recreation. I also thought a lot about movement texture, quality, and the concept of cohesion (in contrast to synchronicity). Their quality was so expansive, raw, and cathartic. They embodied so many textures, but with each one you could FEEL the tension, division, union, etc. I am excited to continue having conversations about this work!

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--I am really inspired by the idea of telling a single, chronological story that functions as a monologue BUT has staged movement (maybe choreography in the more formal sense)

--The story of how my grandparents met needs to be told! I think that the idea of telling a story in my family to pass on tradition is powerful!

--I also like the idea of taking a non-fictional structure and embellishing it

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--breath

--tactile

--core distal

--head-tail

--body side

--cross lateral

--vestibular

--7 things? 7 has also always been my favorite number

--using the brain dance as a framework to discuss deeper issues and things within me and those I interview

example framework: start with brain dance in silence on its own, then restart again with breath. Breath becomes its own section. Maybe its a spliced interview with someone that "helped me understand the role of breath" while dancing to those words WITH captions of choreographic (laban notes). Incorporating movement, monologue, captions (Brechtian). Repeat this or adjust it for the other 6 elements. For example, if i am reflecting on "tactile" maybe interview my mother and relationship to touch (because it shaped mine).

--interview 7 strangers (for each of the elements of the brain dance), and creating a language of sorts

--through line? maybe all the people I interview are people that I love and feel close to --> bringing them into a connected, purposeful story

--should I be at the core of all of it? Or should this be a vehicle and avenue to tell the stories of others...

--idea: i am exploring not myself explicitly, but the people around me that have either grounded me in that element or made more space for it to flourish (or maybe conflicted that element for me) --> there needs to be a central conflict (using the brain dance as a way to understand myself, also through the contributions of others in my life).

dad's comments: you only need to show a through-line or a branch, not the whole tree (doing too much, simplicity and messaging gets lost).

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--I am really inspired by the idea of telling a single, chronological story that functions as a monologue BUT has staged movement (maybe choreography in the more formal sense)

--The story of how my grandparents met needs to be told! I think that the idea of telling a story in my family to pass on tradition is powerful!

--I also like the idea of taking a non-fictional structure and embellishing it

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Ideas of potential elements (hw for Saturday 2/24)

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Ideas of potential elements (hw for Saturday 2/24)

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What objects / music / sound / instruments / people / text / stories / media /

images / projection surfaces or screens / fiction or non-fiction sources might be in this world?

objects:

--projector or screen to project my choregraphic notes

--maybe a simple table with paper (may have some sections/scenes where I am lip/syncing interviews from loved ones about the Brain Dance elements)

Music:

--none (I don't think)

--all the audio would be spoken and if there is music, it would be part of the audio recording

sounds:

--audio recording of interviews collected regarding the different brain dance elements

people:

--likely just me at the present moment...I am excited to continue thinking about the prospect of having my classmates perform alongside me!

text:

--the audio itself will act as a script for my choreography (framework, rather)

--the choreographic notes displayed like captions on the screen (where the projector comes in)

stories:

--the audio will likely incorporate stories from the interviewees' lives (though that is not the most direct or primary intention of interview conduction)

--my current idea is to tell my story of growth, change, struggle, border/boundary crossing THROUGH the brain dance elements

media:

--dance

--interview transcript (audio form)

--choreographic notes (visual and performance media)

fiction/non-fiction:

--I am thinking of doing all non-fiction, though the movement itself may create a "fiction-like" quality...I want to keep exploring this...

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Breath: Mac

Tactile: Theo

Head-tail: Alban (spine, connection between head and pelvis)

Core-Distal: Emily (inside yourself, outside yourself)

Upper-Lower: Alban? (loss of leg function...)

Body-Side: Ava...a soccer player? someone with a much stronger "one side" than the other?

Cross-Lateral: Mom (pulled in multiple directions --> role of mother and professional, sister and friend, etc.)

Vestibular: Nola + Maud (how do you ground yourself)

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Breath: Mac

Tactile: Theo

Head-tail: Alban

Core-distal: Nola

Upper-Lower: Ava

Body-Side: Julie

Cross-Lateral: Zach

Vestibular: Maud

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Nola -- Core distal

--SO AWESOME

--we veered off track a bit, excited to edit this down

--learned a lot about my bestie (talked about the differences between core self/self-concept and distal self/externally perceived/social things)

--functioned more like a conversation than interview

--will cut out me asking questions...

Maud -- Vestibular

--my questions were rather improvised, all about groudning yourself when live is spinning. even moreso than nola, it fucntioned like a conversation. they had insight about themselves I had never been privy to!

Theo -- tactile

--silly and goofy, but all the answers check out.

--the interview was much more interview STYLE than the others thus far

--many of the answers were frankly expected, considering he is my partner and we have had a lot of conversations about this:)

Mac -- breath

--i love her so much! she is so eloquent and mature! proud sister moment

--very intentional interview, most pointed of the questions so far

--connected breath to movement to nature

--excited about this as source material

--she had clear, thoughtful answers (it is clear she didn't have to think much about what breath means to her).

Mom -- Body-side

--learned a lot of things about my mother's decisiveness

--she has paved the way for me: empowering me as a young woman (though our relationship may be complicated)

--this interview highlighted her pragmatic approach to life and her disinterest in labels

Dad -- Head-tail

--my dad has a very complicated relationship to his spine, hence why I picked him for this interview (2 lower back surgeries, and shattered both discs on two separate occasions)

--he is also deeply loyal and has a very strong sense of self/character so i was interested to interrogate his emotional "spine"

--he gave me more insight into how private of a person he is, and how that has been foundational to the creation and building of his so called "spine"

Zach -- cross-lateral

--this interview was awesome! i learned a lot about my host brother, and i felt like it was incredibly relevant (considering how our relationship originated)

--he had a lot of insightful remarks about the differences between boundaries and borders, and I am looking foward to editing it

Ava -- upper-lower

--in this interview i focused on the ideas of paralysis and survival responses (flight, fight, freeze)

--she brought in humor, and I am actually eager to just use this interview in longer/larger parts (less spliced)

--spoke a lot about masking and regulation (takeaway: it is more painful to mask then to feel)

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INTERVIEW QUESTIONS -- Breath, Tactile, Core-Distal

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INTERVIEW QUESTIONS -- Breath, Tactile, Core-Distal

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Breath (MAC):

1. Where do you see breath exist in our world, outside of our bodies?

2. How often do you pay attention to your breathing?

3. Has breath every been a source of anxiety for you?

4. when your breath becomes out of control, what do you do to regulate it? regulate yourself?

5. What is the first word that comes to mind when i say "breath"?

6. What is the first word that comes to mind when I say breathe?

7. How would you describe breath to an alien?

8. Do you have a relationship with breath? What does it mean to you?

9. What is your relationship with breath in a dance context?

Tactile (THEO):

1. How does tactile appear in your daily life?

2. How important is touch to you?

3. What kinds of touch have you experienced from different people in your life?

4. What purposes do touch serve?

5. Have there been times in which your relationship to physical touch has been more negative or positive than it is now?

6. How do you give yourself physical care?

7. Do you prefer to receive or give physical touch?

8. What is your relationship to your body in a physical sense? Does touch inform that for you?

9. How do you see physical touch continue to reappear throughout your life?

10. When is physical touch least and most necessary for emotional regulation? Is it ever necessary?

Core-distal: REVISE ORDER

1. Are you an extrovert, introvert, or ambivert?

2. Do you think you are perceived similar to how you perceive yourself?

3. Are there parts of your core that your closest friends are not aware of? Is that the way you like it?

4. Do you feel connection between your core self and the way you externally express yourself? Are there misalignments?

5. Where is the healthiest balance for you between your core self and your expressive, external, socially perceived self?

6. What is more overpowering: your core, or your distal?

7. How has the answer to number 6 changed over time?

8. Do you predict that your core will solidify or disintegrate with age and deeper self knowledge?

9. Is it possible to have a secure and stable self concept without knowing your what your core self needs?

10. Is there such thing as a core self? Is it impossible to detach self from core self?

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1. what is your relationship to your spine?

2. reflect on your spine as a representation of your core personality. What are the three most foundation important parts of you that create a spine!

3. Where do you hold your weight/how is it related to your spine?

4. Are you aware of your spine in your daily life?

5. Does your head and tail feel connected?

6. What is a bodily structure in between head and tail and integrates them. ex = ribs or sternum?

7. How has your relationship to your physical spine changed throughout your life?

8. Does it freak you out to imagine that we all have skeletons and spines within us?

9. Which part of your spine are you most aware of??

10. if you had to describe a spine to an alien, what would you say?

11. Where do you see spines in nature/outside of the human or mammalian body?

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inspiration/metaphor I am creating: decisiveness, duality, multiple truths existing at once, balance, groundedness (home/away), what is home for you, how do you journey and venture out while maintaining a sense of home and groundedness...

1. How does it feel to be regarded by me as a decisive person?

2. Do you consider yourself decisive?

3. How do you feel about multiple truths at the same time?

4. Do you feel like you are constantly managing 2 things at the same time?

5. Do you often have internal wars about right vs. wrong

6. do you believe there is a right vs. wrong?

7. Can rights and wrongs exist in harmony?

8. Do you feel like you have to work harder in some aspects of your life than others?

9. Are there any parts of your personality that are at war with one another?

10. What does internal frustration look like to you?

11. Is it possible to be grounded in one area of your life and distal, adventurous and social in other parts of your life?

12. is home a physical or emotional...

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--came up with questions on the spot

--did not function like an interview (see notes)

--conversation regarding spinning, grounding oneself, and calibrating/regulating

--Maud --> how she grounds herself (I have admired this in her and wanted to interview them because of it)

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1. Do you ever feel paralyzed?

2. When do you feel paralyzed?

3. What brings you out of a state of paralysis?

4. For survival mode: are you more inclined to fight, fly, or freeze?

5. Do you ever feel like a part of your is stuck, while another part is flourishing or do you feel like when you're stuck, everything is stuck?

6. Do you ever mask how you are feeling?

7. How does it feel to mask how your feelings?

8. Do your moods change throughout the day, or do you often feel grounded in a single state?

9. explain the idea of upper-lower...where do you see things both grounded and free?

10. Can groundedness and freedom exist together?

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--crossing boundaries and borders...

1. what is the last emotional or physical border you crossed?

2. What is the principal difference between crossing borders and crossing boundaries (in the emotional and metaphorical line of thinking)?

3. Have your boundaries every been crossed and how does that feel?

4. What does challenging yourself mean to you? Does it often involve crossing a personal boundary?

5. What is the principal difference between pushing boundaries and crossing boundaries?

6. Are you decisive?

7. Is being decisive something that is important to you?

8. Cross-lateral (say the word). Without knowing what this means, tell me what you THINK it means

9. (tell her what it means)...how would you then descirbe it to an alien?

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1. assign each person an element of the brain dance

2. have them come up to the paper as i draw with them and dance through it?

3. maybe explore mirroring?

4. I draw and dance, they draw and draw

5. each element, it rotates

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1. play the audio with the paper already setup on the ground (the paper we previously used, so that we are building upon former "devising" work --> process piece)

2. each person in the class will be assigned to a number/element and will approach the paper during their assigned element

3. they will draw, write, watch, or whatever they please during this time, and then will retreat to the "audience" when they are done

4. I will both draw and dance (behind and on the paper)

5. Thus, the dance will not last beyond the audio

6. The choreographic notes are no longer necessary --> the dancing will likely be improv (inspired directly by how I feel listening to the audio during the performance)

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--edit the final audio (adjustments that my peers made in class after the first showing) DONE

--assign each student to an element (for some elements there will be more than one student) DONE

--develop a movement vocabulary for the improved exploration DONE

--come up with some motifs that can repeat throughout the piece (not entirely improvised --> structured improv) DONE

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--wow i had SO MUCH fun performing today

--I have been slightly burnt out on dance and dancing, and this relit a fire in me that felt SUPER good and rewarding

--I felt completely in the present moment, and I believe that structuring this like a "structured improv" helped me stay actively engaged with the movement and associated words

--I was so appreciative of my class' participation--> everyone really showed up for this project and approached it with sincerity

--LOVED the element of drawing and it was super fun to explore the balance between drawing and dancing (personally)

--I thoroughly enjoyed dancing on paper! It gave me so much life and makes me wanna do something similar for my thesis

--ALSO loved the light fixture (got super inspired from Aude's performance and I think it added a really cool, simplistic touch) --> made it moodier

--acts as a super great reference point for future work

--wish the music was louder!

--has been so fun to engage with and witness others' projects

--what a way to culminate! I feel proud of myself:)