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This usually happens from birth to 12-18 months. Basic trust is developed by mothers or fathers giving love, attention, and basic needs to their children. Mistrust happens when the children are neglected. "Erikson's first stage of psychosocial development is concerned with trust. He contends that in the very formative stages of life from infancy, humans rely on environmental factors for a basic sense of security and safety. As a baby cries, he is communicating that he is hungry, wet or bored. If caregivers respond with food, a clean, dry diaper or a game of peek-a-boo, the baby fosters a psychological comfort in the knowledge that the world is a safe place where his needs are met. On the other hand, if he cries and no food is forthcoming, his diaper is not changed, and he is neglected, he begins to believe that the world is unreliable at best, and a hostile environment at least"(Study.com,2023).

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When I was just 16 months old, my mom left my biological father. I moved in with my step-dad, and soon after my mom left my siblings and I. She left my step-dad there with us and didn't come back for a couple of years. She then came back for a while, but left again. She has been in and out of my life for all of my life, so I just learned how to cut her off, and not speak to her.

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This occurs from 18 months to 3 years. Children who are able to explore and do things on their own will develop a good autonomy. Children who are restricted will develop shame and doubt.

"The child is developing physically and becoming more mobile, discovering that he or she has many skills and abilities, such as putting on clothes and shoes, playing with toys, etc. Such skills illustrate the child’s growing sense of independence and autonomy. For example, during this stage, children begin to assert their independence, by walking away from their mother, picking which toy to play with, and making choices about what they like to wear, to eat, etc."(Guy-Evans, Olivia,2023).

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This is Shirly Temple, but I looked just like her. 

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In this stage of my life, I was confused as to why my mom was gone all the time, and why I was living with a new strange man. My step-dad would do his best to raise me and my sister, but it just wasn't the same without mom.

While my step-dad was trying hard to raise us, I was rebelling by cutting off my hair, but when I cut it off, I would instantly cry and wish for my hair back. This was a regular occurrence when I was a toddler. I created a cycle of shame, and eventually quit cutting my hair off.

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This stage occurs when the child is 3 to 5 years old.

When children are given initiative, they learn to accomplish tasks and face challenges. Usually kids who take initiative, control their environment around them.

When the children are discouraged of independent activities, they may start to feel guilty about their desires.

"During this period, the primary feature involves the child regularly interacting with other children at school. Central to this stage is play, as it allows children to explore their interpersonal skills through initiating activities. The child begins to assert control and power over their environment by planning activities, accomplishing tasks, and facing challenges"(Guy-Evans, Olivia, 2023).

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I was growing up in a small town, in the southern part of Indiana. Austin, is the name. I started kindergarten, and I was one of the students that couldn't keep up. I wasn't learning as fast, and instead of keeping me back, my mother decided to home school me for the following school year. I definitely couldn't keep up then, and I was struggling so bad. I begged my mom to take me out of home schooling and let me go back to public school. She would guilt trip me every single time and make me feel as though it was my fault she home schooled me.

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This stage occurs when children are 5 to 12 years old.

When adults or caregivers encourage development skills, the children develop a sense of confidence in their skill. If the children are being discouraged or getting negative feedback, they won't want to express their skills.

"The child is coping with new learning and social demands.

Children are at the stage where they will be learning to read and write, to do sums, and to do things on their own. Teachers begin to take an important role in the child’s life as they teach specific skills. At this stage, the child’s peer group will gain greater significance and become a major source of the child’s self-esteem. The child now feels the need to win approval by demonstrating specific competencies valued by society and develop a sense of pride in their accomplishments"(Guy-Evans, Olivia,2023).

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Going into 4th and 5th grade, I had moved back to public school. I developed a love for art and sketching. I would draw all over my homework and tests. I drew random stick figures, random things I found on the internet, and tried to draw my friends. My step-dad encouraged me to keep doing it, but my mom didn't. She hated the fact that I was getting better and better, so she took all of my art supplies away. I was distraught, but my step-dad bought me more art supplies.

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This stage occurs when children are 12 to 18 years old.

When adolescents are supported in their exploration, they are going to emerge confident in their identity. If they are restricted or discouraged, they may experience role confusion. They might question their place in the world, and their values and morals may also be questioned.

"Teenagers explore who they are as individuals, seek to establish a sense of self, and may experiment with different roles, activities, and behaviors. According to Erikson, this is important to forming a strong identity and developing a sense of direction in life"(Guy-Evans, Olivia,2023).

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I was 13 years old when I decided to explore something other than heterosexual. During this time, I was having girlfriends and dressing more like a boy. I shaved the sides of my head and kept the top long, and I thought I really liked it. At one point, I thought about transitioning to a boy, but my mother and grandma would refuse. They would take me to church and question me and tell me that I was going to hell for even thinking like that. I eventually let my hair grow back out, and quit having girlfriends, but I still think about how I could be different today if I would have went through with transitioning.

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This stage is normally 18 to 40 years old.

People who successfully navigate this are able to form close bonds and relationships. They are able to be open with their partner and communicate properly. They are also able to make personal sacrifices for these relationships.

If individuals struggle to form these close relationships, perhaps due to earlier unresolved identity crises or fear of rejection, they may experience isolation. This could lead to feelings of loneliness, alienation, and exclusion.

"Successfully navigating this stage develops the virtue of love. Individuals who develop this virtue have the ability to form deep and committed relationships based on mutual trust and respect. During this stage, we begin to share ourselves more intimately with others. We explore relationships leading toward longer-term commitments with someone other than a family member. Successful completion of this stage can result in happy relationships and a sense of commitment, safety, and care within a relationship. However, if individuals struggle during this stage and are unable to form close relationships, they may feel isolated and alone. This could potentially lead to a sense of disconnection and estrangement in adulthood.

Avoiding intimacy, fearing commitment and relationships can lead to isolation, loneliness, and sometimes depression"(Guy-Evans, Olivia,2023).

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When I was getting into relationships, I would really like the person, but I could never love them. I had the fear of abandonment, and it would cause me to push away. It would also cause me to shut down and just let my partner leave. I would reject fighting, or any kind of verbal altercations. I still have problems dealing with this. I developed trust issues, and i'm constantly overthinking and paranoid. I have gone to a professional and am currently working on building up.

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40-65 years old.

If individuals feel they are making valuable contributions to the world, for instance, through raising children or contributing to positive changes in society, they will feel a sense of generativity. If individuals feel they are not making a positive impact or are not involved in productive or creative tasks, they may experience stagnation.

Stagnation involves feeling unproductive and uninvolved, leading to self-absorption, lack of growth, and feelings of emptiness.

"During middle age, individuals experience a need to create or nurture things that will outlast them, often having mentees or creating positive changes that will benefit other people. We give back to society by raising our children, being productive at work, and participating in community activities and organizations. We develop a sense of being a part of the bigger picture through generativity"(Guy-Evans, Olivia,2023).

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I just graduated high school last year, and now i'm in college. It feels surreal to me, because my step-dad has pushed me so far, and now it's time for me to push myself. I graduated with distinction, academic honors diploma, and with an associates degree in general studies and liberal arts from Ivytech. I was a college graduate before graduating high school. I felt accomplished, and now in the summer, I will graduate with another degree from Ivytech.

I just have to remember that my dad is by my side no matter what, and I can do anything if I push myself hard enough.

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65 to death.

Individuals feel they have lived a fulfilling and meaningful life, they will experience ego integrity. This is characterized by a sense of acceptance of their life as it was, the ability to find coherence and purpose in their experiences, and a sense of wisdom and fulfillment.

On the other hand, if individuals feel regretful about their past, feel they have made poor decisions, or believe they’ve failed to achieve their life goals, they may experience despair. Despair involves feelings of regret, bitterness, and disappointment with one’s life, and a fear of impending death.

"Success in this stage will lead to the virtue of wisdom. Wisdom enables a person to look back on their life with a sense of closure and completeness, and also accept death without fear. Individuals who reflect on their lives and regret not achieving their goals will experience bitterness and despair. Erik Erikson believed if we see our lives as unproductive, feel guilt about our past, or feel that we did not accomplish our life goals, we become dissatisfied with life and develop despair, often leading to depression and hopelessness. This could potentially lead to feelings of fear and dread about their mortality"(Guy-Evans, Olivia,2023).

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I am not a regretful person. I make mistakes and I move on. I have come to realize that I'm only human, and I can't change the past. I have taken the steps to better myself and slowly build up confidence. My mother cannot control my life anymore, and now I can be free from her.

Sometimes I wish things were different between us, but she will forever be stuck in her ways and will end up in despair (see what I did there?).