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"Way Way". No clue how it got that name, but my mom tells me I chose that name for some reason. I LOVED that thing to pieces and took it everywhere I went. Used it as a blanket, for forts, really anything. The most prominent reason I used it was for my pillows. I hated pillows as a kid... especially the texture and feel of having your head on the pillow. I vowed for the longest time (up until 6th grade) that I would ALWAYS have my Way Way over my pillow so it was comfortable, no matter what. Promised myself I wouldn't let go of it, grow out of it, whatever logic my little brain thought of. Well, some of that remained true. I had used it for a LONG time. I don't know when, but at some point I got used to the texture of pillowcases and ended up sleeping without Way Way. I think another leading factor was that it felt strange being the only person still using "childish things". Yet, I wouldn't really care now to be honest. Nowadays It's just stuffed underneath my bed, haven't really seen it much since. It's a bit sad, but I am NEVER getting rid of that. If I ever did end up having children or grandchildren, I'd hand this down to them maybe. It was such a pivotal thing in my life and I'm kind of glad it's still fully there and not in rags like some people's blankets as children.

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Pinkie Pie, Rainbowdash, Twilight Sparkle, and Applejack. My favorite ponies. I loved going over to my aunt's house to watch My Little Pony and play games as it played in the background. I was always OBSESSED with My Little Pony, even ended up getting one of the Equestria Girls' figure of Rainbowdash. I think some of those characters somewhat represent me as a person (as weird as that sounds). Sure, they're just characters, but as a little kid I took every episode to heart, carrying those with me as a person I am now. Even as a teenager I would KILL to have all of the My Little Pony stuff I had back then (especially the Rainbowdash figure... that thing was awesome). The show was overall amazing and did teach me skills I've probably subconsciously kept in my brain. Even if it was a kid's show, it was still great at the time and I miss watching it. I could always resonate with my favorite characters and looking back on those characters, I can see why I am who I am. Getting all sappy over some kid's cartoon, great.

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2012 - Concerning Obsession With A Weird Show: Pocoyo

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2012 - Concerning Obsession With A Weird Show: Pocoyo

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There was a time when I had EVERY single DVD of Pocoyo, a complete collection that I cherished deeply. I would rewatch each episode over and over again, never growing tired of the same little show and characters that always managed to bring me happiness as a kid. Staring up at the TV, always eating a snack, and being all giddy. I think I remember my mom telling me when I got a bit older I had watched this show the entire day. But at some point, my parents got rid of all the DVDs. I get it, I outgrew it. But with time, the show that once felt so deeply drilled into my childhood started slipping away from my memory. I know I rewatched specific episodes, I know there were characters I loved, but it's a huge blur. It’s strange to think that something that was once such a huge part of me is now just a vague recollection. Even now writing this in a timeline, I’m not sure I have enough to say.

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I feel like some of the most random and weirdest things as a kid stuck to me even now which I don't fully realize. I mean, some YouTuber I used to watch when

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2014 - Tinker Bell and the Legend of the NeverBeast

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2014 - Tinker Bell and the Legend of the NeverBeast

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So, any amazingly-awesome person knows the Tinker Bell movies. Vidia, Silvermist, Periwinkle... and my favorite: Zarina from "The Pirate Fairy". All of them however were amazing in my opinion. "Tinker Bell and the Legend of the NeverBeast" was the movie I rewatched the MOST. My dad used to have a movie player in his old car, and we always kept the DVD in a black case holder filled to the brim with random DVDs. I always tought the NeverBeast was adorable, and I did not blame Fawn one bit for wanting to keep him. The first time I ever watched it, I cried at the end. As a kid, I thought it was the best movie of all time. Not sure if I can say much now considering I don't have the DVD or any way to access the movie. Recalling on my memories of this movie is like trying to start a fire in rain. For a few seconds there might be a fire, but the rain puts it out. I hope someday I'll be able to find the movie again, I wish we never got rid of the DVD.

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2015 - Barbie + Cash Register = Childhood

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2015 - Barbie + Cash Register = Childhood

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To be honest, I don't ever remember getting it, I just know it popped up and my sister and I loved it to pieces. We would always steal my mom's gray iPad and put it on the stand to have to game open (or just only play the game). I used the microphone so much and thought it was peak technology (it was literally just a microphone). I loved playing with my sister as the cashier. Setting up a fake shop, displaying toys out for her to buy, stealing her money, it was great. Usually, I was always forced to play with her because of my mom. Yet, I really do wish we hung out more like that. She doesn't talk to me much, and when I do try to talk to her she gets upset. Back then, it was the opposite. Still, I loved playing as a cashier with her, even when I was forced to. I really wish we didn't sell that cash register, it held a lot of memories just sold away in what I can assume a garage sale. The "ching" of the cash register and the amount of laughing we had will probably stay with me forever, because playing with my sister at that time was what kind of "bonded" us.

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I think most of us know what Minecraft is. I mean, MANY of us grew up on it. Barking dogs, punching trees, the "skshhh" of silverfish, and rushing to make a bed before night fell upon the sky. It was amazing. The first time I ever played it was with my dad. We were in creative mode, making a house on a mountain. It was REALLY fun. After that, my entire family used to play together, building homes and helping each other out. When my cousins came over, we'd make new worlds and build towns. I would ALWAYS try to make trade shops, or just shops to get people's diamonds or woods. Plus, I always had at least 3 dogs with different colors (ALWAYS added a pink collar). It was so hard to find wolves out in the wild sometimes, we'd just end up going into creative mode to spawn a few and call it good. Sometimes I'd secretly go into creative mode for wood or different blocks I needed for my home. After a while of absolutely loving Minecraft, I ended up going to multiple IDTech camps in Kansas City to learn Minecraft coding. For some reason I wanted to become a Minecraft world maker. Nowadays, I haven't really ever picked up the game again, but maybe it's good to have a nostalgic game I could play someday to cheer me up.

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Growing up, I was horrified by dogs. Hell, I was scared of my best friend's cross-eyed little pug "Ellie". Yet, I don't think that ever stopped me from being around Beauty. Yep, a dog named Beauty. I always used to ask my aunt why they named her Beauty, but they never really knew why. Going over to their house, it had this distinct smell, not a bad one, the moment she came into the living room. Her orangey-brown fur with a white undercoat was scattered all around the "carpet". Yeah, the carpet was extremely hard, and barely even a carpet at that point. It was dark brown with staples still coming out of the floor. The most vivid memory I have of hanging out with her was when we sat down in the middle of the living room, right in front of the flat-screened TV. Her fur always shed and got on my clothes, but I didn't care. The outer part of her mouth was black and textured with bumps, her tongue always sticking out. She drooled a lot, which at the time I thought was disgusting. Still, I loved her to pieces. She was the one thing I always looked forward to. I remember telling my cousin how she "better stay alive forever". Well, forever doesn't exist. Time passes whether you like it or not. One day, the day I wasn't at their house, I think my mom was the one to tell me the news. It's all a blur, it could've been both of my parents. But, one way or another I found out Beauty passed away. Beauty? The dog who helped me realize not all dogs are "monsters"? I was kind of shocked, not even expecting that would happen. Now, I wish that dog had stayed around. I would give anything to have her back, but she deserves to be at peace. I don't know where she was buried, but she's at least metaphorically buried in my heart.

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dark brown fur golden retirever with purple border

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Good God, someone should've removed Animal Jam off my little pink tablet. Over 20 dens, multiple animals, hundreds of articles of clothing, and thousands of sapphires. I got trading requests left and right (yes, I'm bragging about a kid's game I was unhealthily obsessed with). Animal Jam was the first ever game I ever had that was an online multiplayer platform. I was severely sheltered as a kid and had to BEG my mom to let me get this game. I remember how my friends would ask me to join, telling me how cool the game was. A girl named Suzy was the one who convinced me, and I was immediately hooked. Strapped with a weird username and begging for free items as a new user, I was ready. Speaking of weird usernames, mine was "GutsDonutsandGlory"... I have no clue why. Either way, I probably wasn't the BEST person on there to be honest... I ended up scamming some 6-year-olds out of their hard-earned items and severely overpriced my items in my shop. Speaking of shops, did anyone ever own one? You had to be a member... which cost $6.99 monthly. Look, I was obsessed with the game, don't blame me! I even remember getting official Animal Jam boxes with actual merch of the game and even a limited edition pet no one else had (which I flaunted endlessly). I still have some of it, and the firefly stuffed animal I received is on my bed.

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Official "raised on YouTube Kids" kid here. I was never allowed to have "real" YouTube. So, that ended up with me being forced to watch kid's channels or Disney snippets. I always carry around my pink tablet with dumb games, and of course, YouTube Kids on it. One of the shows I would ALWAYS go back to was "Walk the Prank". As a kid, I loved it. It was sometimes gross, super dumb, made no sense, what more could a kid love about that? I always remember pulling up that one weird bear prank they did. At the time, I was always confused. How did no one know who they were? They have a popular show, so did they get people who didn't know the show to be pranked? Oh, you oblivious child. It was obviously all fake (considering they brought literal celebrities, I'm surprised I was dumb enough to believe it was all real). Still, I miss being able to watch shows like that and being genuinely engaged in that content. It was fun, and at least cheered me up a bit. Really, it was dumb but fun.

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A while back, my great grandma passed away. She was almost 100 (pretty surprising). I never had much of a bond with her, but we were always forced to go to her house. There, she had random exercise equipment my sister and I would mess around with, eat some food there, and take a lot of candy out of the candy bowl she had on her wooden glass coffee table. Smarties, specifically. She always had them there, no matter what. I remember the sound of crinkling plastic and the taste of chalky white Smarties. The white Smarties were my favorite, but there wasn't much to love about it. It literally tasted like every other Smarties, but better according to my 10-year-old brain. It could've been the sweetness to it more than the others (even more sugar, yay!), but I don't really remember why. I haven't touched Smarties in a while, and I highly doubt I ever will. I love them, but it's kind of sad remembering everything. Her small house I'd always run up the wheelchair ramp to, the awkwardness of being there, and the "scary" basement (which really just had a pool table in it). When we figured out she passed, the funeral took a while to do. I don't remember much about the actual funeral but we all gathered over at her house. Same as it was years ago. The brown sunken chair she always sat in was empty, and I know some people ended up sitting in it as they watched Friends and football. Tons of snacks, random family members I've never met, and the same smarties bowl, half-empty. I remember immediately going over to that glass bowl, mainly trying to ignore all the random people. A year later, we ended up selling her house to some family we apparently know, I've never been out there since.

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My grandparent's house always attracted stray cats. I mean, TONS of stray cats. They have tons of barns and usually left out kibble for them. That didn't stop a calico cat sitting on their porch for a few days, trying to get inside their house. We usually get invited to have dinner with my Grandma and Grandpa; and this wasn't anything new or different. When we got there, I immediately noticed a calico cat lurking around near the house. I can't remember if she was by the basketball post or the porch, but she was there. The moment I got inside I had asked my grandma why there was a cat, and she explained that it had just randomly shown up. After dinner that night, I went outside again. Sure enough, the cat was right there. She was a sweetheart. I sat down with her and pet her. You could tell she was pregnant, too. I think I ended up begging them to keep her around and fast forward a few weeks later, she had a litter of adorable kittens. Two calicoes, an orange kitten, a gray one, and a black and white one. They were PRECIOUS. I wanted to go out to my grandparents house all the time after that. At first, the kittens were kept in a whelping box they had, then a large cardboard box the mother could easily get in and out of. Overtime, I can't remember when exactly, they were moved near the dog pens. They were all so sweet, even the calico mom still let us around them. As we were still coming up with names, a few weeks later we found out one of their neighbors may have owned the calico cat. I was shocked. I don't even know if they did, my grandparents could have just been trying to get rid of the kittens. Either way, my grandma told us we'd have to give half the kittens to them. Seriously? They didn't even know they existed, and we had literally raised them and fed them. I was salty about it, and rightfully upset in my opinion to be honest. We gave up my favorite kittens, the ones that loved being with me and I loved being around. I almost cried when I figured out we had to give up my favorite calico kitten and the black kitten. Those two were beacons of innocence. I always hung out with those two kittens and took care of them. We kept one of the calico kittens along with the orange kitten. The ones we kept were the less social ones. I don't know when or how, but those neighbors told my grandma they were all ran over. They weren't even that old too, at most one month old. I was heartbroken. I know, they were just kittens but I cared about them a lot. At the time I was extremely mad about the neighbors just letting that happen, but looking back on it now I guess you can't really control that. The calico mom had ended up disappearing as well, I don't know when. As of now, I'm not sure if the orange and gray cats are still around, as they usually end up hiding. They might've ran off to live at another farm, I suppose.

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Back in 2023, my family was desperate to go on a bunch of trips, one being Washington. That... was definitely an experience. Hot humid summer, no air conditioning, having to buy a dinky gray fan to set up in our parent's room, and a bat flying into our house we were staying at. That barely scratched the surface, but I'll definitely remember it. Combating that, there were rocky beaches with beautiful views, restaurants full of new foods to try, shops with tons of snacks I begged my mom to buy, and seeing family members I haven't ever really met. One memorable thing I love looking back on is the evening we had a cookout. Some of my family was playing volleyball, while most of us were sitting on the concrete steps or in lawn chairs. I think I ended up sitting on the steps, eating a grilled hotdog one of my uncles made. I hated it at the time, but looking back on it, it was pretty fun. Sure, the place we stayed at wasn't the best but we got to go to a museum nearby to learn about some of the battlegrounds we were staying on and the history of the place in general. I'd love to go back there again if I'm ever able to, but probably when I move out.

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Jeez, that place was extremely crowded. Filled to the brim with people, I had to sit down on the ugly-patterned seats, which weren't comfortable at all. The crying baby, voices piling over one another, it was overwhelming. I had drowned most of the sound with my earbuds. Well, right across from me was a guy my age talking to what appeared to be his mother. She was talking in a foreign language, while he looked incredibly tired. He had short dark hair. To be honest, I ended up staring at him for a moment, not really able to take my eyes off him. Both of us had made eye contact from time to time, but I wouldn't have ever dreamed of trying to talk to him. Before I could even gain a shred of courage, the subway stopped at our station. Great. I've never seen him since, and sadly I don't fully remember what he looked like. Faces seem to blur for me after a while, to the point I only remember them, not what they look like (which sucks... because I thought he was really cute at the time).

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I'm scared for the future. Aren't we all? What if something happens, or something is ruined? What if I mess up so bad, so horribly that I feel bad for the rest of my life? You can easily change your life with one choice, one action. That's so weird to think about. Looking back on my life, it's insane how one thing I did ended up spiraling into a memory I look back on. Fun memories, sad memories, life lessons, and moments turning into inside jokes with friends. They're all like little souvenirs polished and shined or dusty and old. Hey, they might be there but some of them you just don't want to look at. I'll admit I take what I have too much for granted, because all these things through my life built who I am. If it wasn't for Beauty, I'd still think a puppy is scary. Never going to Washington? I could've missed funny stories I'd tell to family members and friends. If I had never lied about things or messed up in the past, would I truly know right from wrong? It all happens for a reason, whether we like it or not. I think there's something to take pride in that. We don't know our future, we'll never know until it happens. Maybe you strike it big someday, maybe you fuck up and learn from a problem. You could find an amazing best friend, and lose some people along the way. Sure, that one person broke up with you, but there's someone in the future you'll grow old with and love forever. Memories build and grow us as a person. We should start creating our future, even if it's scary.

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