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Article - Peirano, Álvarez, Ferraro & Angió.

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Article - Peirano, Álvarez, Ferraro & Angió.

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How Your Teenager's Friendships Can Impact Their Adulthood

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Popularity isn't important, but strong friendships can have lasting positive affects for tweens and teens.

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Joel A. Muraco
University of Wisconsin, Green Bay

Each and every one of us has a family. However, these families exist in many variations around the world. In this module, we discuss definitions of family, family forms, the developmental trajectory of families, and commonly used theories to understand families. We also cover factors that influence families such as culture and societal expectations while incorporating the latest family relevant statistics.

Learning Objectives

Understand the various family forms.

Describe attachment theory.

Identify different parenting styles.

Know the typical developmental trajectory of families.

Understand cultural differences in dating, marriage, and divorce.

Explain the influence of children and aging parents on families.

Know concrete tips for increasing happiness within your family.

It is often said that humans are social creatures. We make friends, live in communities, and connect to acquaintances through shared interests. In recent times, social media has become a new way for people to connect with childhood peers, friends of friends, and even strangers. Perhaps nothing is more central to the social world than the concept of family. Our families represent our earliest relationships and-often-our most enduring ones. In this module, you will learn about the psychology of families. Our discussion will begin with a basic definition of family and how this has changed across time and place. Next, we move on to a discussion of family roles and how families evolve across the lifespan. Finally, we conclude with issues such as divorce and abuse that are important factors in the psychological health of families.

In J.K. Rowling's famous Harry Potter novels, the boy magician lives in a cupboard under the stairs. His unfortunate situation is the result of his wizarding parents having been killed in a duel, causing the young Potter to be subsequently shipped off to live with his cruel aunt and uncle. Although family may not be the central theme of these wand and sorcery novels, Harry's example raises a compelling question: what, exactly, counts as family?

A traditional family has a somewhat narrow definition that includes only relationships of blood, marriage, and occasionally adoption. More recently, in many societies, the definition of family has expanded. A modern family may include less traditional variations based on strong commitment and emotional ties. [Image: 10070052 moodboard, http://goo.gl/2xAZGA, CC BY 2.0, http://goo.gl/v4Y0Zv]

The definition of family changes across time and across culture. Traditional family has been defined as two or more people who are related by blood, marriage, and-occasionally-adoption ( Murdock, 1949). Historically, the most standard version of the traditional family has been the two-parent family. Are there people in your life you consider family who are not necessarily related to you in the traditional sense? Harry Potter would undoubtedly call his schoolmates Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger family, even though they do not fit the traditional definition. Likewise, Harry might consider Hedwig, his snowy owl, a family member, and he would not be alone in doing so. Research from the US ( Harris, 2015) and Japan ( Veldkamp, 2009) finds that many pet owners consider their pets to be members of the family. Another traditional form of family is the joint family, in which three or more generations of blood relatives live in a single household or compound. Joint families often include cousins, aunts and uncles, and other relatives from the extended family. Versions of the joint family system exist around the globe including in South Asia, Southern Europe, the South Pacific and other locations.

In more modern times, the traditional definition of family has been criticized as being too narrow. Modern families-especially those in industrialized societies-exist in many forms, including the single parent family, foster families, same-sex couples, childfree families, and many other variations from traditional norms. Common to each of these family forms is commitment, caring, and close emotional ties-which are increasingly the defining characteristics of family ( Benokraitis, 2015). The changing definition of family has come about, in part, because of factors such as divorce and re-marriage. In many cases, people do not grow up with their family of orientation, but become part of a stepfamily or blended family. Whether a single-parent, joint, or two-parent family, a person's family of orientation, or the family into which he or she is born, generally acts as the social context for young children learning about relationships.

According to Bowen ( 1978), each person has a role to play in his or her family, and each role comes with certain rules and expectations. This system of rules and roles is known as family systems theory. The goal for the family is stability: rules and expectations that work for all. When the role of one member of the family changes, so do the rules and expectations. Such changes ripple through the family and cause each member to adjust his or her own role and expectations to compensate for the change.

There are many variations of modern families, including blended or stepfamilies where two families combine. In a combined family the roles of individuals may be different than in their original family of orientation. [Image: Doc List, http://goo.gl/5FpSeU, CC BY-NC-SA 2.0, http://goo.gl/iF4hmM]

Take, for example, the classic story of Cinderella. Cinderella's initial role is that of a child. Her parents' expectations of her are what would be expected of a growing and developing child. But, by the time Cinderella reaches her teen years, her role has changed considerably. Both of her biological parents have died and she has ended up living with her stepmother and stepsisters. Cinderella's role shifts from being an adored child to acting as the household servant. The stereotype of stepfamilies as being emotionally toxic is, of course, not true. You might even say there are often-overlooked instructive elements in the Cinderella story: Her role in the family has become not only that of servant but also that of caretaker-- the others expecting her to cook and clean while in return they treat her with spite and cruelty. When Cinderella finds her prince and leaves to start her own family-known as a family of procreation -it is safe to assume that the roles of her stepmother and stepsisters will change-suddenly having to cook and clean for themselves.

Gender has been one factor by which family roles have long been assigned. Traditional roles have historically placed housekeeping and childrearing squarely in the realm of women's responsibilities. Men, by contrast, have been seen as protectors and as providers of resources including money. Increasingly, families are crossing these traditional roles with women working outside the home and men contributing more to domestic and childrearing responsibilities. Despite this shift toward more egalitarian roles, women still tend to do more housekeeping and childrearing tasks than their husbands (known as the second shift) ( Hochschild & Machung, 2012).

Interestingly, parental roles have an impact on the ambitions of their children. Croft and her colleagues ( 2014) examined the beliefs of more than 300 children. The researchers discovered that when fathers endorsed more equal sharing of household duties and when mothers were more workplace oriented it influenced how their daughters thought. In both cases, daughters were more likely to have ambitions toward working outside the home and working in less gender-stereotyped professions.

Our families are so familiar to us that we can sometimes take for granted the idea that families develop over time. Nuclear families, those core units of parents and children, do not simply pop into being. The parents meet one another, they court or date one another, and they make the decision to have children. Even then the family does not quit changing. Children grow up and leave home and the roles shift yet again.

Intimacy

According to Attachment Theory, the type of care that we receive as infants can have a significant influence on the intimate relationships that we have as adults. [Image: Muriel HEARD-COLLIER, http://goo.gl/BK7WUm, CC BY-NC-SA 2.0, http://goo.gl/iF4hmM]

In a psychological sense, families begin with intimacy. The need for intimacy, or close relationships with others, is universal. We seek out close and meaningful relationships over the course of our lives. What our adult intimate relationships look like actually stems from infancy and our relationship with our primary caregiver (historically our mother)-a process of development described by attachment theory. According to attachment theory, different styles of caregiving result in different relationship "attachments." For example, responsive mothers-mothers who soothe their crying infants-produce infants who have secure attachments ( Ainsworth, 1973; Bowlby, 1969). About 60% of all children are securely attached. As adults, secure individuals rely on their working models -concepts of how relationships operate-that were created in infancy, as a result of their interactions with their primary caregiver (mother), to foster happy and healthy adult intimate relationships. Securely attached adults feel comfortable being depended on and depending on others.

As you might imagine, inconsistent or dismissive parents also impact the attachment style of their infants ( Ainsworth, 1973), but in a different direction. In early studies on attachment style, infants were observed interacting with their caregivers, followed by being separated from them, then finally reunited. About 20% of the observed children were "resistant," meaning they were anxious even before, and especially during, the separation; and 20% were "avoidant," meaning they actively avoided their caregiver after separation (i.e., ignoring the mother when they were reunited). These early attachment patterns can affect the way people relate to one another in adulthood. Anxious-resistant adults worry that others don't love them, and they often become frustrated or angry when their needs go unmet. Anxious-avoidant adults will appear not to care much about their intimate relationships, and are uncomfortable being depended on or depending on others themselves.

Table 1: Early attachment and adult intimacy

The good news is that our attachment can be changed. It isn't easy, but it is possible for anyone to "recover" a secure attachment. The process often requires the help of a supportive and dependable other, and for the insecure person to achieve coherence-the realization that his or her upbringing is not a permanent reflection of character or a reflection of the world at large, nor does it bar him or her from being worthy of love or others of being trustworthy ( Treboux, Crowell, & Waters, 2004).

Dating, Courtship, and Cohabitation

Over time, the process of finding a mate has changed dramatically. In Victorian England, for instance, young women in high society trained for years in the arts-to sing, play music, dance, compose verse, etc. These skills were thought to be vital to the courtship ritual-a demonstration of feminine worthiness. Once a woman was of marriageable age, she would attend dances and other public events as a means of displaying her availability. A young couple interested in one another would find opportunities to spend time together, such as taking a walk. That era had very different dating practices from today, in which teenagers have more freedom, more privacy, and can date more people.

One major difference in the way people find a mate these days is the way we use technology to both expand and restrict the marriage market-the process by which potential mates compare assets and liabilities of available prospects and choose the best option ( Benokraitis, 2015). Comparing marriage to a market might sound unromantic, but think of it as a way to illustrate how people seek out attractive qualities in a mate. Modern technology has allowed us to expand our "market" by allowing us to search for potential partners all over the world-as opposed to the days when people mostly relied on local dating pools. Technology also allows us to filter out undesirable (albeit available) prospects at the outset, based on factors such as shared interests, age, and other features.

The use of filters to find the most desirable partner is a common practice, resulting in people marrying others very similar to themselves-a concept called homogamy; the opposite is known as heterogamy ( Burgess & Wallin, 1943). In his comparison of educational homogamy in 55 countries, Smits ( 2003) found strong support for higher-educated people marrying other highly educated people. As such, education appears to be a strong filter people use to help them select a mate. The most common filters we use-or, put another way, the characteristics we focus on most in potential mates-are age, race, social status, and religion ( Regan, 2008). Other filters we use include compatibility, physical attractiveness (we tend to pick people who are as attractive as we are), and proximity (for practical reasons, we often pick people close to us) ( Klenke-Hamel & Janda, 1980).

In many countries, technology is increasingly used to help single people find each other, and this may be especially true of older adults who are divorced or widowed, as there are few societally-structured activities for older singles. For example, younger people in school are usually surrounded with many potential dating partners of a similar age and background. As we get older, this is less true, as we focus on our careers and find ourselves surrounded by co-workers of various ages, marital statuses, and backgrounds.

In some countries, many people are coupled and committed to marriage through arrangements made by parents or professional marriage brokers. [Image: Ananabanana, http://goo.gl/gzCR0x, CC BY-NC-SA 2.0, http://goo.gl/iF4hmM]

In some cultures, however, it is not uncommon for the families of young people to do the work of finding a mate for them. For example, the Shanghai Marriage Market refers to the People's Park in Shanghai, China-a place where parents of unmarried adults meet on weekends to trade information about their children in attempts to find suitable spouses for them ( Bolsover, 2011). In India, the marriage market refers to the use of marriage brokers or marriage bureaus to pair eligible singles together ( Trivedi, 2013). To many Westerners, the idea of arranged marriage can seem puzzling. It can appear to take the romance out of the equation and violate values about personal freedom. On the other hand, some people in favor of arranged marriage argue that parents are able to make more mature decisions than young people.

While such intrusions may seem inappropriate based on your upbringing, for many people of the world such help is expected, even appreciated. In India for example, "parental arranged marriages are largely preferred to other forms of marital choices" ( Ramsheena & Gundemeda, 2015, p. 138). Of course, one's religious and social caste plays a role in determining how involved family may be.

Engagement and Marriage

While marriage is common across cultures, the details such as "How" and "When" are often quite different. Now the "Who" of marriage is experiencing an important change as laws are updated in a growing number of countries and states to give same-sex couples the same rights and benefits through marriage as heterosexual couples. [Image: Bart Vis, http://goo.gl/liSy9P, CC BY 2.0, http://goo.gl/T4qgSp]

Most people will marry in their lifetime. In the majority of countries, 80% of men and women have been married by the age of 49 ( United Nations, 2013). Despite how common marriage remains, it has undergone some interesting shifts in recent times. Around the world, people are tending to get married later in life or, increasingly, not at all. People in more developed countries (e.g., Nordic and Western Europe), for instance, marry later in life-at an average age of 30 years. This is very different than, for example, the economically developing country of Afghanistan, which has one of the lowest average-age statistics for marriage-at 20.2 years ( United Nations, 2013). Another shift seen around the world is a gender gap in terms of age when people get married. In every country, men marry later than women. Since the 1970's, the average age of marriage for women has increased from 21.8 to 24.7 years. Men have seen a similar increase in age at first marriage.

As illustrated, the courtship process can vary greatly around the world. So too can an engagement -a formal agreement to get married. Some of these differences are small, such as on which hand an engagement ring is worn. In many countries it is worn on the left, but in Russia, Germany, Norway, and India, women wear their ring on their right. There are also more overt differences, such as who makes the proposal. In India and Pakistan, it is not uncommon for the family of the groom to propose to the family of the bride, with little to no involvement from the bride and groom themselves. In most Western industrialized countries, it is traditional for the male to propose to the female. What types of engagement traditions, practices, and rituals are common where you are from? How are they changing?

Children?

Table 2: Four parenting styles

Other, less advantageous parenting styles include authoritarian (in contrast to authorit ative), permissive, and uninvolved ( Tavassolie, Dudding, Madigan, Thorvardarson, & Winsler, 2016). Authoritarian parents are low in support and high in demandingness. Arguably, this is the parenting style used by Harry Potter's harsh aunt and uncle, and Cinderella's vindictive stepmother. Children who receive authoritarian parenting are more likely to be obedient and proficient, but score lower in happiness, social competence, and self-esteem. Permissive parents are high in support and low in demandingness. Their children rank low in happiness and self-regulation, and are more likely to have problems with authority. Uninvolved parents are low in both support and demandingness. Children of these parents tend to rank lowest across all life domains, lack self-control, have low self-esteem, and are less competent than their peers.

Support for the benefits of authoritative parenting has been found in countries as diverse as the Czech Republic ( Dmitrieva, Chen, Greenberger, & Gil-Rivas, 2004), India ( Carson, Chowdhurry, Perry, & Pati, 1999), China ( Pilgrim, Luo, Urberg, & Fang, 1999), Israel ( Mayseless, Scharf, & Sholt, 2003), and Palestine ( Punamaki, Qouta, & Sarraj, 1997). In fact, authoritative parenting appears to be superior in Western, individualistic societies-so much so that some people have argued that there is no longer a need to study it ( Steinberg, 2001). Other researchers are less certain about the superiority of authoritative parenting and point to differences in cultural values and beliefs. For example, while many European-American children do poorly with too much strictness (authorit arian parenting), Chinese children often do well, especially academically. The reason for this likely stems from Chinese culture viewing strictness in parenting as related to training, which is not central to American parenting ( Chao, 1994).

Parenting in Later Life

Just because children grow up does not mean their family stops being a family. The concept of family persists across the entire lifespan, but the specific roles and expectations of its members change over time. One major change comes when a child reaches adulthood and moves away. When exactly children leave home varies greatly depending on societal norms and expectations, as well as on economic conditions such as employment opportunities and affordable housing options. Some parents may experience sadness when their adult children leave the home-a situation known as Empty Nest.

When one's children reach adulthood it doesn't mean that parenting stops. Boomerang kids and multigenerational households that include aging parents are increasingly common. [Image: davidmulder61, http://goo.gl/eGPT5i, CC BY-SA 2.0, http://goo.gl/S6i0RI]

In addition to middle-aged parents spending more time, money, and energy taking care of their adult children, they are also increasingly taking care of their own aging and ailing parents. Middle-aged people in this set of circumstances are commonly referred to as the sandwich generation ( Dukhovnov & Zagheni, 2015). Of course, cultural norms and practices again come into play. In some Asian and Hispanic cultures, the expectation is that adult children are supposed to take care of aging parents and parents-in-law. In other Western cultures-cultures that emphasize individuality and self-sustainability-the expectation has historically been that elders either age in place, modifying their home and receiving services to allow them to continue to live independently, or enter long-term care facilities. However, given financial constraints, many families find themselves taking in and caring for their aging parents, increasing the number of multigenerational homes around the world.

Divorce

Divorce refers to the legal dissolution of a marriage. Depending on societal factors, divorce may be more or less of an option for married couples. Despite popular belief, divorce rates in the United States actually declined for many years during the 1980s and 1990s, and only just recently started to climb back up-landing at just below 50% of marriages ending in divorce today ( Marriage & Divorce, 2016); however, it should be noted that divorce rates increase for each subsequent marriage, and there is considerable debate about the exact divorce rate. Are there specific factors that can predict divorce? Are certain types of people or certain types of relationships more or less at risk for breaking up? Indeed, there are several factors that appear to be either risk factors or protective factors.

Pursuing education decreases the risk of divorce. So too does waiting until we are older to marry. Likewise, if our parents are still married we are less likely to divorce. Factors that increase our risk of divorce include having a child before marriage and living with multiple partners before marriage, known as serial cohabitation (cohabitation with one's expected martial partner does not appear to have the same effect). And, of course, societal and religious attitudes must also be taken into account. In societies that are more accepting of divorce, divorce rates tend to be higher. Likewise, in religions that are less accepting of divorce, divorce rates tend to be lower. See Lyngstad & Jalovaara ( 2010) for a more thorough discussion of divorce risk.

Table 3: Divorce Factors

If a couple does divorce, there are specific considerations they should take into account to help their children cope. Parents should reassure their children that both parents will continue to love them and that the divorce is in no way the children's fault. Parents should also encourage open communication with their children and be careful not to bias them against their "ex" or use them as a means of hurting their "ex" ( Denham, 2013; Harvey & Fine, 2004; Pescosoido, 2013).

Abuse

Abuse can occur in multiple forms and across all family relationships. Breiding, Basile, Smith, Black, & Mahendra ( 2015) define the forms of abuse as:

Physical abuse, the use of intentional physical force to cause harm. Scratching, pushing, shoving, throwing, grabbing, biting, choking, shaking, slapping, punching, and hitting are common forms of physical abuse;

Sexual abuse, the act of forcing someone to participate in a sex act against his or her will. Such abuse is often referred to as sexual assault or rape. A marital relationship does not grant anyone the right to demand sex or sexual activity from anyone, even a spouse;

Psychological abuse, aggressive behavior that is intended to control someone else. Such abuse can include threats of physical or sexual abuse, manipulation, bullying, and stalking.

The most common form of abuse between parents and children is actually that of neglect. Neglect refers to a family's failure to provide for a child's basic physical, emotional, medical, or educational needs ( DePanfilis, 2006). Harry Potter's aunt and uncle, as well as Cinderella's stepmother, could all be prosecuted for neglect in the real world.

Abuse is a complex issue, especially within families. There are many reasons people become abusers: poverty, stress, and substance abuse are common characteristics shared by abusers, although abuse can happen in any family. There are also many reasons adults stay in abusive relationships: (a) learned helplessness (the abused person believing he or she has no control over the situation); (b) the belief that the abuser can/will change; (c) shame, guilt, self-blame, and/or fear; and (d) economic dependence. All of these factors can play a role.

Children who experience abuse may "act out" or otherwise respond in a variety of unhealthful ways. These include acts of self-destruction, withdrawal, and aggression, as well as struggles with depression, anxiety, and academic performance. Researchers have found that abused children's brains may produce higher levels of stress hormones. These hormones can lead to decreased brain development, lower stress thresholds, suppressed immune responses, and lifelong difficulties with learning and memory ( Middlebrooks & Audage, 2008).

Adoption

Divorce and abuse are important concerns, but not all family hurdles are negative. One example of a positive family issue is adoption. Adoption has long historical roots (it is even mentioned in the Bible) and involves taking in and raising someone else's child legally as one's own. Becoming a parent is one of the most fulfilling things a person can do ( Gallup & Newport, 1990), but even with modern reproductive technologies, not all couples who would like to have children (which is still most) are able to. For these families, adoption often allows them to feel whole-by completing their family.

In 2013, in the United States, there were over 100,000 children in foster care (where children go when their biological families are unable to adequately care for them) available for adoption ( Soronen, 2013). In total, about 2% of the U.S. child population is adopted, either through foster care or through private domestic or international adoption ( Adopted Children, 2012). Adopting a child from the foster care system is relatively inexpensive, costing $0-$2,500, with many families qualifying for state-subsidized support ( Soronen, 2013).

Adoption is an important option for creating or expanding a family. Foster care adoptions and international adoptions are both common. Regardless of why a family chooses to adopt and from where, traits such as patience, flexibility and strong problem-solving skills are desirable for adoptive parents. [Image: Steven Depolo, https://goo.gl/ElGvwe, CC BY 2.0, https://goo.gl/BRvSA7]

Regardless of why a family chooses to adopt, traits such as flexibility, patience, strong problem-solving skills, and a willingness to identify local community resources are highly favorable for the prospective parents to possess. Additionally, it may be helpful for adoptive parents to recognize that they do not have to be "perfect" parents as long as they are loving and willing to meet the unique challenges their adopted child may pose.

Our families play a crucial role in our overall development and happiness. They can support and validate us, but they can also criticize and burden us. For better or worse, we all have a family. In closing, here are strategies you can use to increase the happiness of your family:

Teach morality-fostering a sense of moral development in children can promote well-being (Damon, 2004).

Savor the good-celebrate each other's successes (Gable, Gonzaga & Strachman, 2006).

Use the extended family network-family members of all ages, including older siblings and grandparents, who can act as caregivers can promote family well-being (Armstrong, Birnie-Lefcovitch & Ungar, 2005).

Create family identity-share inside jokes, fond memories, and frame the story of the family (McAdams, 1993).

Forgive-Don't hold grudges against one another (McCullough, Worthington & Rachal, 1997).

Outside Resources

Article: Social Trends Institute: The Sustainable Demographic Dividend

http://sustaindemographicdividend.org/articles/international-family-indicators/global-family-culture

Video: TED Talk: What Makes a Good Life? Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness

Web: Child Trends and Social Trends Institute: Mapping Family Change and Well-Being Outcomes

http://worldfamilymap.ifstudies.org/2015/

Web: Pew Research Center: Family and Relationships

http://www.pewresearch.org/topics/family-and-relationships/

Web: PSYCHALIVE: Psychology for Everyday Life: Relationships

http://www.psychalive.org/category/alive-to-intimacy/

Web: United States Census Bureau: Families and Living Arrangements

http://www.census.gov/topics/families.html

Discussion Questions

1. Throughout this module many 'shifts' are mentioned-shifts in division of labor, family roles, marital expectations, divorce, and societal and cultural norms, among others, were discussed. What shift do you find most interesting and why? What types of shifts do you think we might see in the future?

2. In the reading we discuss different parenting practices. Much of the literature suggests that authoritative parenting is best. Do you agree? Why or why not? Are there times when you think another parenting style would be better?

3. The section on divorce discusses specific factors that increase or decrease the chances of divorce. Based on your background, are you more or less at risk for divorce? Consider things about your family of orientation, culture, religious practices and beliefs, age, and educational goals. How does this risk make you feel?

4. The module ends with some tips for happy, healthy families. Are there specific things you could be doing in your own life to make for a happier, healthier family? What are some concrete things you could start doing immediately to increase happiness in your family?

Vocabulary

Adoption

To take in and raise a child of other parents legally as one's own.

Age in place

The trend toward making accommodations to ensure that aging people can stay in their homes and live independently.

Anxious-avoidant

Attachment style that involves suppressing one's own feelings and desires, and a difficulty depending on others.

Anxious-resistant

Attachment style that is self-critical, insecure, and fearful of rejection.

Attachment theory

Theory that describes the enduring patterns of relationships from birth to death.

Authoritarian parenting

Parenting style that is high is demandingness and low in support.

Authoritative parenting

A parenting style that is high in demandingness and high in support.

Blended family

A family consisting of an adult couple and their children from previous relationships.

Boomerang generation

Term used to describe young adults, primarily between the ages of 25 and 34, who return home after previously living on their own.

Child abuse

Injury, death, or emotional harm to a child caused by a parent or caregiver, either intentionally or unintentionally.

Childfree

Term used to describe people who purposefully choose not to have children.

Childless

Term used to describe people who would like to have children but are unable to conceive.

Cohabitation

Arrangement where two unmarried adults live together.

Coherence

Within attachment theory, the gaining of insight into and reconciling one's childhood experiences.

Elder abuse

Any form of mistreatment that results in harm to an elder person, often caused by his/her adult child.

Empty Nest

Feelings of sadness and loneliness that parents may feel when their adult children leave the home for the first time.

Engagement

Formal agreement to get married.

Family of orientation

The family one is born into.

Family of procreation

The family one creates, usually through marriage.

Family systems theory

Theory that says a person cannot be understood on their own, but as a member of a unit.

Foster care

Care provided by alternative families to children whose families of orientation cannot adequately care for them; often arranged through the government or a social service agency.

Heterogamy

Partnering with someone who is unlike you in a meaningful way.

Homogamy

Partnering with someone who is like you in a meaningful way.

Intimate partner violence

Physical, sexual, or psychological abuse inflicted by a partner.

Joint family

A family comprised of at least three generations living together. Joint families often include many members of the extended family.

Learned helplessness

The belief, as someone who is abused, that one has no control over his or her situation.

Marriage market

The process through which prospective spouses compare assets and liabilities of available partners and choose the best available mate.

Modern family

A family based on commitment, caring, and close emotional ties.

Multigenerational homes

Homes with more than one adult generation.

Neglect

Failure to care for someone properly.

Nuclear families

A core family unit comprised of only the parents and children.

Permissive parenting

Parenting that is low in demandingness and high in support.

Physical abuse

The use of intentional physical force to cause harm.

Psychological abuse

Aggressive behavior intended to control a partner.

Sandwich generation

Generation of people responsible for taking care of their own children as well as their aging parents.

Second shift

Term used to describe the unpaid work a parent, usually a mother, does in the home in terms of housekeeping and childrearing.

Secure attachments

Attachment style that involves being comfortable with depending on your partner and having your partner depend on you.

Sexual abuse

The act of forcing a partner to take part in a sex act against his or her will.

Single parent family

An individual parent raising a child or children.

Stepfamily

A family formed, after divorce or widowhood, through remarriage.

Traditional family

Two or more people related by blood, marriage, and-occasionally-- by adoption.

Two-parent family

A family consisting of two parents-typical both of the biological parents-- and their children.

Uninvolved parenting

Parenting that is low in demandingness and low in support.

Working models

An understanding of how relationships operate; viewing oneself as worthy of love and others as trustworthy.

References

Adopted Children (2012). Child Trends Data Bank. Retrieved from http://www.childtrends.org/?indicators=adopted-children.

Ainsworth, M. D. S. (1973). The development of infant-mother attachment. In B. Cardwell & H. Ricciuti (Eds.), Review of child development research (Vol. 3, pp. 1-94). Chicago: University of Chicago Press.

Armstrong, M., Birnie-Lefcovitch, S. & Ungar, M.T. (2005). Pathways between social support, family well-being, quality of parenting, and child resilience: What we know. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 14, 269-281.

Bartholet, E. (2007). International adoption: Thoughts on the human rights issues. Harvard Law School Faculty Scholarship Series, Paper 21.

Benokraitis, N. V. (2015). Marriages & families: Changes, choices, and constraints (8th Edition). Upper Saddle River, New Jersey: Pearson.

Bolsover, G. (2011). What's it like inside Shanghai's 'marriage market'? CNN. Retrieved from http://travel.cnn.com/shanghai/life/people-behind-paper-846851/

Bowen, M. (1978). Family therapy in clinical practice. New York: Aronson.

Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment. Attachment and loss: Vol. 1. Loss. New York: Basic Books

Breiding, M. J., Basile, K. C., Smith, S. G., Black, M. C., & Mahendra, R. (2015). Intimate Partner Violence Surveillance: Uniform Definitions and Recommended Data Elements. Center for Disease Control and Prevention, Version 2.0.

Burgess, E. W. & Locke, H. J. (1945). The family: From institution to companionship. New York: The American Book Co.

Burgess, E. W. & Wallin, P. (1943). Homogamy in social characteristics. American Journal of Sociology, 49, 109-124.

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Croft, A. Schmader, T., Block, K. & Scott Baron, A. (2014). The second shift reflected in the second generation: Do parents' gender roles at home predict children's aspirations? Psychological Science, 25, 1418-1428.

Damon, W. (2004). What is positive youth development? Annals of the American Academy of Political and Social Science, 591, 13-24

DePanfilis, D. (2006). Child Neglect: A Guide for Prevention, Assessment, and Intervention. Child Abuse and Neglect User Manual Series. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

DeRose, L. (2011). International family indicators: Global family structure. In The Sustainable Demographic Dividend: What do Marriage and Fertility have to do with the Economy? Charlottesville, VA: The National Marriage Project.

Denham, E. (2013). Keeping kids out of the middle. Huffington Post, February 22.

Dmitrieva, J., Chen, C., Greenberger, E., & Gil-Rivas, V. (2004). Family relationships and adolescent psychosocial outcomes: Converging findings from Eastern and Western cultures. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 14, 425-447.

Dukhovnov, D. & Zagheni, E. (2015). Who takes care of whom in the United States? Time transfers by age and sex. Population and Development Review, 41, 183-206.

Gable, S.L., Gonzaga, G.C. & Strachman, A. (2006). Will you be there for me when things go right? Supportive responses to positive event disclosures. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 91, 904-917.

Gallup, G., Jr., & Newport, T. (1990). Virtually all adults want children, but many of the reasons are intangible. Gallup Poll Monthly (June): 8-22.

Harris, (2015). Three in Five Americans Currently Have a Pet, and They Show Their Love in Some Interesting Ways. Retrieved from http://www.theharrispoll.com/health-and-life/Pets-are-Members-of-the-Family.html

Harvey, J. H. & Fine, M. A. (2004). Children of divorce: Stories of loss and growth. Rahway, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum.

Hochschild, A. & Machung, A. (2012). The second shift: Working families and the revolution at home. New York, NY: Penguin.

Intercountry Adoption (2016). Bureau of Consular Affairs-U.S. Department of State. Retrieved from https://travel.state.gov/content/adoptionsabroad/en/about-us/statistics.html.

Klenke, K. E. & Janda, L. H. (1980). Exploring Human Sexuality. Van Nostrand Reinhold Company.

Lyngstad, T. H. & Jalovaara, M. (2010). A review of the antecedents of union dissolution. Demographic Research, 23, 257-292.

Maccoby, E. E. (1992). The role of parents in the socialization of children: An historical overview. Developmental Psychology, 28, 1006-1017.

Maccoby, E. E. & Martin, J. A. (1983). Socialization in the context of the family: Parent-child interaction. In P. H. Mussen & E. M. Hetherington (Eds.), Handbook of child psychology: Vol. 4. Socialization, personality, and social development (4th ed.). New York: Wiley.

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Matthews, T. J. & Hamilton, B. E. (2014). First births to older women continue to rise. NCHS Data Brief, No. 152.

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Murdock, G. P. (1949). Social structure. Oxford, England: Macmillan.

Nelson, S. K., Kushlev, K. English, T., Dunn, E. W., & Lyubomirsky, S. L. (2013). In defense of parenthood: Children are associated with more joy than misery. Psychological Science, 24, 3-10.

Parker, K. (2012). The boomerang generation: Feeling OK about living with mom and dad. Pew Social & Demographic Trends. Pew Research Center: Washington, DC.

Pilgrim, C., Luo, Q., Urberg, K. A., & Fang, X. (1999). Influence of peers, parents, and individual characteristics on adolescent drug use in two cultures. Merril-Palmer Quarterly, 45, 85-107.

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Regan, P. C. (2008). The marriage game: A primer on love, sex, and marriage. New York: Sage Publication.

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Smits, J. (2003). Social closure among the higher educated: trends in educational homogamy in 55 countries. Social Science Research, 32, 251-277.

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Steinberg, L. (2001). We know some things: Adolescent-parent relationships in retrospect and prospect. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 11, 1-19.

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Authors

Creative Commons License
The Family by Joel A. Muraco is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License. Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available in our Licensing Agreement.

How to cite this Noba module using APA Style
Muraco, J. A. (2022). The family. In R. Biswas-Diener & E. Diener (Eds), Noba textbook series: Psychology. Champaign, IL: DEF publishers. Retrieved from http://noba.to/3htscypq

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Each and every one of us has a family. However, these families exist in many variations around the world. In this module, we discuss definitions of family, family forms, the developmental trajectory of families, and commonly used theories to understand families.

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Friendships are incredibly important during adolescence. Teen friendships help young people feel a sense of acceptance and belonging. They support the development of compassion, caring, and empathy.

Moreover, teen friendships are an important part of forming a sense of identity outside the family. And these adolescent friendships can be incredibly supportive in helping teens to weather difficult times.

Key Takeaways

Teen friendships are linked with psychological well-being into adulthood.

Social media can help friends stay connected, but it can also have negative consequences on teen friendships.

Parents can talk to their teens about what adolescent friendship should feel like and help them understand how to be a good friend.

Group therapy can help teens struggling with friendships realize that other kids who look fine on the outside feel the same way they do on the inside.

We all know that spending time with good friends makes us happier. But scientists have put this feeling to the test, and the evidence shows that teen friendships are linked with psychological well-being.

One study using data from more than 111,000 adolescents found that teenagers who were integrated into friendship networks had better mental health, as measured by a number of depressive symptoms. The findings made it clear that teens with more friends had fewer symptoms of depression and felt a stronger sense of belonging.

In addition, the benefits of adolescent friendships include:

Higher-functioning immune system

Better self-esteem

Lower rates of anxiety

Happier, more optimistic outlook

Longer life expectancy

Stronger emotional regulation skills

Improved cognitive function

More empathy and feelings of trust toward others.

Teen Friendships Help Adolescents Cope with Stress

Peer friendships during the teen years can also help young people navigate difficult situations. A 2021 study found that adolescents who had strong teen friendships prior to the pandemic were less likely to internalize the stress of isolation and social distancing. These connections helped reduce teen loneliness, depression, and anxiety.

Friendships also help teens deal with everyday stressors. A study of 108 high school students in Australia found that strong friendships were particularly helpful for teens immediately after a stressful event, such as failing a test.

Researchers from Australia's Murdoch and Griffith universities surveyed teens and they found that they coped better after a stressful event when they were with peers rather than adults. Teens who were with friends reported lower levels of sadness, jealousy, and worry.

Teens Are Wired to Make Friends

As children enter adolescence and start high school, teen friendships become increasingly important. In fact, parents sometimes feel ignored or abandoned by their children in favor of friendships.

But this developmental stage is completely natural, according to Daniel J. Siegel, a clinical professor of psychology and co-director of the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center. Dr. Siegel believes that teenagers' desire for friendship is biologically hardwired.

"Why would it be natural to turn toward your peers as an adolescent? Because that's on whom you're going to depend on when you leave home. Often, in the wild, a mammal without an adolescent peer group is as good as dead. So connecting with a peer group can feel like a matter of survival."

-Daniel J. Siegel, MD

In fact, the importance of friends in teenage life is so significant that going without it hurts-literally. Brain imaging suggests that the same parts of the brain are activated by social rejection as by physical pain. Thus, kids being left out feel the rejection deeply. Hence, "I feel left out" is one of the worst things a parent can hear.
Read "Teenage Isolation and How Parents Can Help."
Teen Friendships Predict Adult Mental Health

Teenagers who have close friendships in adolescence have better mental health as young adults. Research published in the journal Child Development compared teens with close friendships to popular teens with a larger friend group but less intense friendships.

Each year, the participants were given questionnaires to assess their levels of anxiety, depression, and self-worth. Consequently, researchers found that people who had close friends as teens reported higher levels of self-worth and lower levels of social anxiety and depression at age 25, compared with their popular peers.

Therefore, the study validated what parents often tell teens: Popularity isn't important. The most beneficial teen relationships are deep, close friendships in which teens feel seen for who they truly are.

"As technology makes it increasingly easy to build a social network of superficial friends, focusing time and attention on cultivating close connections with a few individuals should be a priority."

-Joseph Allen, psychology professor at the University of Virginia and co-author of the study

Does Your Teen Need Help?

We are here for you!

Have Questions?

Send us a message.

Continue Reading ▼

The Influence of Peer Pressure on Teen Behavior

Parents have always understood that peer pressure can encourage teens to make poor choices. And those choices often relate to risky behavior such as drug use, unsafe sexual behavior, and unsafe driving.

Now scientists have concrete proof of the negative effect of peer pressure. Research using brain-imaging technology shows that teens experiencing peer pressure are more likely to make risky decisions. Moreover, that's true even when the peer is anonymous and not physically present.

But a survey of approximately 1,500 adolescents and their families had different results. This research showed that the vast majority of young teens are not pressured by their friends to drink, smoke, use illegal drugs, or engage in other risky behaviors. In fact, the study found that friends are much more likely to support each other's efforts to do well, rather than pressuring each other to take risks or make poor choices.

Talking to Teens About Friendships

Parents can't choose their teenagers' friends or control their friendships. But they can and should talk to their teens about what adolescent friendship should feel like and help them understand how to be a good friend. Here are some of the most important things teens should know about friendship.

Authentic Connection

The best teen friendships allow teenagers to speak honestly and openly about how they are feeling. Moreover, they can do so without fear of being judged or insulted. This kind of authentic connection will support them during adolescence and beyond.

The Power of Listening

Friendships depend on listening as well as sharing. Strong teen friendships depend on listening closely and responding with compassion, encouragement, and positive feedback.

Peer Pressure

When teens understand the power of peer pressure, they can make clearer decisions. Parents can help them recognize how friends influence each other, in both positive and negative ways.

It Takes Time

As the above study showed, it takes time to make a good friend. Sometimes it's easier for teens to make friends in situations outside of school where they share similar interests-at camp, on sports teams, or in extracurricular activities.

Friendships Change

Not all teen friendships last forever. People change as they mature, and therefore they may grow apart. Parents can encourage teens to think about the qualities that are important to them in a relationship. Friendships are more likely to last when teens have similar values and priorities, and want the same things out of the relationship.

Conflict Is Natural

It's normal for teens to have fights and disagreements. But that doesn't mean the friendship has to end. Teen friendships help adolescents learn how to navigate conflict and how to recognize what they could do differently. Moreover, they learn how important it is to say "I'm sorry" and also how important it is to forgive the other person.

In conclusion, teen friendships matter-a lot. They're a huge part of growing into adulthood. But despite the importance of friends in teenage life, the significance of teens' relationships with their parents can never be underestimated.

How Teen Treatment Addresses Isolation and Loneliness

Feelings of loneliness and not being understood can contribute to teen anxiety and depression. Hence, teen treatment at Newport Academy helps teens build a safe and supportive community in which they can be honest with each other and make authentic connections. As a result, they recognize that others feel the same emotions, insecurities, fears, and anxieties, and that they are not alone.

"Treatment is often the first time teens realize that other kids who look fine on the outside feel the same way they do on the inside," says Dr. Barbara Nosal, PhD, LMFT, LADC, Chief Clinical Officer at Newport Academy. "It's an enormous relief to find other people with similar family issues, struggles, and challenges."'

Contact us today to learn more about our industry-leading teen treatment for mental health and co-occurring disorders.

Frequently Asked Questions

Sources
J Res Adolesc. 2021 Sep; 31(3): 692-702.
Child Dev. 2017 Aug.
Int J Behavior Dev. 2016 Feb.
Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 2011 Apr; 108(15): 6270-5.

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The Importance of Teen Friendships | Newport Academy

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Teen friendships help to create a sense of acceptance. Learn about the importance of friends in teenage life.

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Reading Comprehension Article Francisco Hails, Tomas Bejar, Mateo Ganci and Mateo Zurdo

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Reading Comprehension Article Francisco Hails, Tomas Bejar, Mateo Ganci and Mateo Zurdo

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Pre-teen and teenage friendships: why they're important

Good friends and friendships are important to pre-teens and teenagers because they give them:

a sense of belonging and being valued by people other than their family

confidence, security and comfort

a safe space to talk about puberty and the changes it brings

experience in getting along with people

a chance to experience early romantic and sexual relationships

a social group where they can do new things and experiment with values, roles, identities and ideas.

Positive friendships are an important part of the journey to adulthood. They help teenagers learn important social and emotional skills, like being sensitive to other people's thoughts, feelings and wellbeing.

Helping pre-teens and teenagers build friendship skills

Teenagers might be focused on their friends, but they still need your help and support to build and maintain positive and supportive friendships.

Good parent-child relationships tend to lead to children having positive relationships with peers. So being warm and supportive, staying connected and actively listening to your child can help them develop friendship skills. You'll also be better able to support your child if friendship problems come up.

Being a good role model is important too. Parents who are keen to spend time with their own friends are more likely to have children with healthy friendships. It's also important for your child to see you looking out for your friends, and showing that friendship is a two-way thing.

Praising your child when you see them being fair, trusting and supportive encourages them to keep working on these positive social traits.

Getting to know your child's friends shows your child you understand how important these friendships are. You can do this by encouraging your child to have friends over and giving them a space in your home, or giving your child's friends a lift home after social outings.

When pre-teens and teenagers find it hard to make friends

Some children prefer having 1-2 close friends, rather than socialising in a big group. If your child is like this, but seems generally happy and content, there's no need to do anything.

But if your child has trouble making friends and is worried about this, there are some things you can do together:

Think about your child's interests and strengths. Based on this, you could look for new extracurricular activities for your child or encourage them to join a club, sports team or social group. Mixing with people who share similar interests is a great way to start friendships and build confidence.

Spend time with extended family and family friends. Plan a barbeque or outing where your child can spend time with people they already know.

Help your child plan an activity with friends. This could be watching a movie at home, having a sleepover or a baking afternoon, or playing some sport at the local park.

Make sure your child feels comfortable inviting friends home, and give them plenty of space when they do.

Think about casual work or community activity for your child. This can give your child a chance to meet others and practise social skills, especially if they work with young people.

Try to work out whether there are particular issues that are making it difficult for your child to make friends, like lack of opportunity, social skills or confidence. Then think about ways you can work on these. You might want to ask for professional advice for complex issues. Your GP is a good place to start.

Give your child plenty of praise and encouragement. Try not to pressure your child about friends or constantly discuss the situation.

Not all friendships are positive or good for children. Among teenagers, negative relationships are sometimes called 'toxic friendships' and the people in them are called 'frenemies'. Your child might need help to avoid or deal with toxic friendships.

Balancing friendships and relationships with parents

In the teenage years, young people often spend much more time with friends and less time with parents.

But your child still needs you and the secure base you provide. Being interested and available lets your child know that they can turn to you when they need to. As your child gets older and more mature, you might also notice that your child gives you some support too.

Teenagers do share a lot with and copy a great deal from their friends. For example, teenagers might change their behaviour, appearance or interests to show that they belong to a certain group of friends. As long as your child isn't doing anything destructive or dangerous, this kind of behaviour often shows that your child feels supported and confident enough to try new things.

It's also normal for friendships to change. You might notice that your child drifts away from old friends or needs support to make new friends.

Parents and friends play different roles in teenagers' lives. You influence your child's long-term decisions to do with values and morals. Your child's friends are more likely to influence short-term choices, like appearance and interests. Strong relationships with both parents and friends help teenagers grow into well-adjusted adults with strong social skills.

What teenage friendships look like

During the early teenage years, friendships become more intense, close and supportive. The amount that teenagers communicate with their friends increases.

Teenage friendships tend to be based on personal similarity, acceptance and sharing. Same-sex friendships are most common during the early high school years. As they get older, many teenagers also make friends with the opposite sex.

The internet and social media let teenagers make and maintain friendships. This is a natural extension of their offline and face-to-face interactions.

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Friends and friendships: pre-teens and teenagers

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Positive pre-teen and teenage friendships are an important part of the journey to adulthood. Good parent-child relationships are good for teen friendships.

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Milagros Segue, Vera Candotti, Delfina Cossalter and Violeta Vazquez.

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Friendships are incredibly important during adolescence. Teen friendships help young people feel a sense of acceptance and belonging. They support the development of compassion, caring, and empathy.

Moreover, teen friendships are an important part of forming a sense of identity outside the family. And these adolescent friendships can be incredibly supportive in helping teens to weather difficult times.

Key Takeaways

Teen friendships are linked with psychological well-being into adulthood.

Social media can help friends stay connected, but it can also have negative consequences on teen friendships.

Parents can talk to their teens about what adolescent friendship should feel like and help them understand how to be a good friend.

Group therapy can help teens struggling with friendships realize that other kids who look fine on the outside feel the same way they do on the inside.

We all know that spending time with good friends makes us happier. But scientists have put this feeling to the test, and the evidence shows that teen friendships are linked with psychological well-being.

One study using data from more than 111,000 adolescents found that teenagers who were integrated into friendship networks had better mental health, as measured by a number of depressive symptoms. The findings made it clear that teens with more friends had fewer symptoms of depression and felt a stronger sense of belonging.

In addition, the benefits of adolescent friendships include:

Higher-functioning immune system

Better self-esteem

Lower rates of anxiety

Happier, more optimistic outlook

Longer life expectancy

Stronger emotional regulation skills

Improved cognitive function

More empathy and feelings of trust toward others.

Teen Friendships Help Adolescents Cope with Stress

Peer friendships during the teen years can also help young people navigate difficult situations. A 2021 study found that adolescents who had strong teen friendships prior to the pandemic were less likely to internalize the stress of isolation and social distancing. These connections helped reduce teen loneliness, depression, and anxiety.

Friendships also help teens deal with everyday stressors. A study of 108 high school students in Australia found that strong friendships were particularly helpful for teens immediately after a stressful event, such as failing a test.

Researchers from Australia's Murdoch and Griffith universities surveyed teens and they found that they coped better after a stressful event when they were with peers rather than adults. Teens who were with friends reported lower levels of sadness, jealousy, and worry.

Teens Are Wired to Make Friends

As children enter adolescence and start high school, teen friendships become increasingly important. In fact, parents sometimes feel ignored or abandoned by their children in favor of friendships.

But this developmental stage is completely natural, according to Daniel J. Siegel, a clinical professor of psychology and co-director of the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center. Dr. Siegel believes that teenagers' desire for friendship is biologically hardwired.

"Why would it be natural to turn toward your peers as an adolescent? Because that's on whom you're going to depend on when you leave home. Often, in the wild, a mammal without an adolescent peer group is as good as dead. So connecting with a peer group can feel like a matter of survival."

-Daniel J. Siegel, MD

In fact, the importance of friends in teenage life is so significant that going without it hurts-literally. Brain imaging suggests that the same parts of the brain are activated by social rejection as by physical pain. Thus, kids being left out feel the rejection deeply. Hence, "I feel left out" is one of the worst things a parent can hear.
Read "Teenage Isolation and How Parents Can Help."
Teen Friendships Predict Adult Mental Health

Teenagers who have close friendships in adolescence have better mental health as young adults. Research published in the journal Child Development compared teens with close friendships to popular teens with a larger friend group but less intense friendships.

Each year, the participants were given questionnaires to assess their levels of anxiety, depression, and self-worth. Consequently, researchers found that people who had close friends as teens reported higher levels of self-worth and lower levels of social anxiety and depression at age 25, compared with their popular peers.

Therefore, the study validated what parents often tell teens: Popularity isn't important. The most beneficial teen relationships are deep, close friendships in which teens feel seen for who they truly are.

"As technology makes it increasingly easy to build a social network of superficial friends, focusing time and attention on cultivating close connections with a few individuals should be a priority."

-Joseph Allen, psychology professor at the University of Virginia and co-author of the study

Does Your Teen Need Help?

We are here for you!

Have Questions?

Send us a message.

Continue Reading ▼

The Influence of Peer Pressure on Teen Behavior

Parents have always understood that peer pressure can encourage teens to make poor choices. And those choices often relate to risky behavior such as drug use, unsafe sexual behavior, and unsafe driving.

Now scientists have concrete proof of the negative effect of peer pressure. Research using brain-imaging technology shows that teens experiencing peer pressure are more likely to make risky decisions. Moreover, that's true even when the peer is anonymous and not physically present.

But a survey of approximately 1,500 adolescents and their families had different results. This research showed that the vast majority of young teens are not pressured by their friends to drink, smoke, use illegal drugs, or engage in other risky behaviors. In fact, the study found that friends are much more likely to support each other's efforts to do well, rather than pressuring each other to take risks or make poor choices.

Talking to Teens About Friendships

Parents can't choose their teenagers' friends or control their friendships. But they can and should talk to their teens about what adolescent friendship should feel like and help them understand how to be a good friend. Here are some of the most important things teens should know about friendship.

Authentic Connection

The best teen friendships allow teenagers to speak honestly and openly about how they are feeling. Moreover, they can do so without fear of being judged or insulted. This kind of authentic connection will support them during adolescence and beyond.

The Power of Listening

Friendships depend on listening as well as sharing. Strong teen friendships depend on listening closely and responding with compassion, encouragement, and positive feedback.

Peer Pressure

When teens understand the power of peer pressure, they can make clearer decisions. Parents can help them recognize how friends influence each other, in both positive and negative ways.

It Takes Time

As the above study showed, it takes time to make a good friend. Sometimes it's easier for teens to make friends in situations outside of school where they share similar interests-at camp, on sports teams, or in extracurricular activities.

Friendships Change

Not all teen friendships last forever. People change as they mature, and therefore they may grow apart. Parents can encourage teens to think about the qualities that are important to them in a relationship. Friendships are more likely to last when teens have similar values and priorities, and want the same things out of the relationship.

Conflict Is Natural

It's normal for teens to have fights and disagreements. But that doesn't mean the friendship has to end. Teen friendships help adolescents learn how to navigate conflict and how to recognize what they could do differently. Moreover, they learn how important it is to say "I'm sorry" and also how important it is to forgive the other person.

In conclusion, teen friendships matter-a lot. They're a huge part of growing into adulthood. But despite the importance of friends in teenage life, the significance of teens' relationships with their parents can never be underestimated.

How Teen Treatment Addresses Isolation and Loneliness

Feelings of loneliness and not being understood can contribute to teen anxiety and depression. Hence, teen treatment at Newport Academy helps teens build a safe and supportive community in which they can be honest with each other and make authentic connections. As a result, they recognize that others feel the same emotions, insecurities, fears, and anxieties, and that they are not alone.

"Treatment is often the first time teens realize that other kids who look fine on the outside feel the same way they do on the inside," says Dr. Barbara Nosal, PhD, LMFT, LADC, Chief Clinical Officer at Newport Academy. "It's an enormous relief to find other people with similar family issues, struggles, and challenges."'

Contact us today to learn more about our industry-leading teen treatment for mental health and co-occurring disorders.

Frequently Asked Questions

Sources
J Res Adolesc. 2021 Sep; 31(3): 692-702.
Child Dev. 2017 Aug.
Int J Behavior Dev. 2016 Feb.
Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 2011 Apr; 108(15): 6270-5.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
The Importance of Teen Friendships | Newport Academy

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Teen friendships help to create a sense of acceptance. Learn about the importance of friends in teenage life.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
As parents we often aren't sure what our role should be when a child is old enough to start dating. Should we be laying down the rules? Minding our own business?

Teenagers can be prickly about their privacy, especially when it comes to something as intimate as romance. The potential for embarrassment all around can prevent us from giving them any advice for having healthy and happy relationships.

Teenagers do look to us for guidance, though-even when they'd rather die than acknowledge that they are-and we can often have more influence than we realize.

With this in mind, here are some relationship Dos and Don'ts you can share with your kids. You can start bringing these things up long before they start dating, and continue affirming them as kids get more experience. And do your best to lead by example and model these values in your own relationships, too.

Being comfortable with someone means:

You can be yourself around her.

You can have different opinions on something, and know that it's okay.

You trust each other when you're not together.

You aren't pressured to do things you don't want to do. (This definitely includes sexual things, but also other things, like going somewhere you don't want to go, or wearing something you don't want to wear.)

Some people will drop all their friends after they start dating someone. They might not mean for it to happen, but it still does. Don't be that person! No one wants a friend who will throw her over for someone else, and you still need a social life outside your boyfriend or girlfriend.

It's natural to share interests with the person you're dating, but you also need to keep developing an identity outside of that person, too. Keep thinking about what you like and what you need. Have an interest that's just yours. It will improve your self-esteem, and being confident in yourself makes you more likely to be confident in your relationship.

If you encounter a problem in your relationship, don't panic. A problem does not automatically mean that the relationship is doomed. However, problems only get bigger when people hide from them. It's much better to admit when something is wrong, talk about it together, and try to fix it together. It might feel scary, or awkward, to do this, but you still should. It will get easier over time, and working through problems is going to be part of any good relationship.

We tend to think of conflict as a bad thing, but it isn't always. Conflict can even bring a couple closer together if they are able to stick to these rules during a disagreement:

Explain how you feel and be specific

Listen to how she feels and try to be understanding

Avoid generalizations

Don't bring up past disagreements

Try to say things that are productive-not critical

If you are in an abusive relationship your boyfriend or girlfriend might:

Be constantly critical of you, and make you feel bad

Try to keep you away from your friends or family

Want to check your phone messages

Use social media to monitor where you are and who you are talking to

Threaten that something bad will happen if you break up

Force you to do things you don't want to do

Make you feel guilty

Hurt you

Kids don't confide in their parents as much as they get older, so when kids do feel like talking, really make an effort to be available and listen.

You (and your teen) might feel awkward talking about romantic relationships, but do your best to look comfortable during any talks. If you look too worried or negative they will be less likely to come to you if they want to talk.

Try to be supportive of your son or daughter's romantic choices unless you truly need to speak out. Remember that teens can be extremely emotional and defensive - especially in response to parental criticism. You don't want to drive them away from you (and further into the relationship you're questioning) by being too judgmental.

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Teens and Romantic Relationships - Child Mind Institute

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Learn how to talk to your teenagers about relationships. Child Mind Institute discusses how to share your values on romantic intimacy and healthy relationships.

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Learning from each other: Our classmates, our friends

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Even after reading about the Executive MBA Metro NY program, it's impossible to understand the education you will receive from your classmates and friends.

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Article- Timoteo Martinez, Felipe Rebello, Joaquin Pontoriero and Joaquin Caneiro

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Article- Timoteo Martinez, Felipe Rebello, Joaquin Pontoriero and Joaquin Caneiro

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https://www.newportacademy.com/resources/empowering-teens/teen-friendships/