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Notice if any possibilities of wise action arise

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Until you can feel the internal shift: The compassion and kindness and care for yourself becoming stronger than the original negative emotion.

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May I be kind to myself in this moment.
This breaks the automaticity of our survival responses and negative thought loops.

May I accept this moment exactly as it is.

May I accept myself exactly as I am in this moment.

May I give myself all the compassion I need.

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Recognize the suffering—and say to yourself, “this is upsetting” or “this is hard!” or “this is scary!” or “this is painful” or something similar, to acknowledge and care about yourself as you experience something distressing.

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1. Any Moment you Notice a Surge of a Difficult Emotion

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1. Any Moment you Notice a Surge of a Difficult Emotion

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Like boredom, contempt, remorse, shame—pause, put your hand on your heart (activating the release of oxytocin, hormone of safety and trust).

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This is an exercise in shifting our awareness and bringing acceptance to bear on the experience of the moment, in the moment. It helps to practice this self-compassion break when any emotional upset or distress is still reasonably manageable—to create and strengthen the neural circuits that can do this shifting and re-conditioning when things are really tough.

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When confronted by such harsh realities in life, or even some small discomfort or inconvenience, our instinctive reaction is to run in the opposite direction. But we can’t escape suffering. It’ll just take us by surprise and whack us in the back of the head. As Frank Ostaseski writes, the wiser response is to move toward what hurts, gently and mercifully.

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2. Reflect that having regrets is common

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2. Reflect that having regrets is common

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Thoughts of unfinished business, struggles unresolved. “These are illusory, clingy thoughts,” writes Barry Boyce. “As they emerge, you can see them, and let them go. And do that each time they come back to visit.”

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Allow yourself to feel what you feel at any given moment, with a sense of self-compassion and without judgment

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Grief is complicated, and there's no "right" way to experience it. As Jennifer Wolkin writes, grief is also intermingled with self-compassion and resilience.

There's a question I'm asked often as a psychologist: What IS grief? Psychologically speaking, as Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross wrote in 1969, grief is an emotional response to loss. This emotional response is conceptualized as a non-linear expression of different stages of feeling states including denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance (aka: "DABDA"). It's worth noting that Kübler-Ross formulated this five-stage process to describe the emotional journey of dying people, not the bereaved. Still, since her model has become widely known, many people have found solace in it after experiencing the loss of a loved one.

Biologically speaking, grief is a homeostatic process, a journey that our mind, brain, and body need to engage in to best recover from the trauma of a loss. This is an evolutionary need, since attachment and connection is embedded within our limbic circuitry. Yes, whether we are conscious of it or not, or like it or not, relationships deeply imprint upon our neuronal selves.

Second, I want to note what grief is not. Grief is not, by any means, a one-size-fits-all kind of process. In fact, it is a uniquely individual process that often feels amorphous and difficult to capture with words. When it comes to grief, there is no "normal" or typical way to "do it." Despite what some believe, in my opinion, there is no "normal" time period allotted for grief.

It takes a boat load of self-compassion to allow oneself to feel whatever it is you are feeling at any given time, without judgment, without comparison relative to another's explicit portrayal of their own process. In this way, to grieve is to be mindful of our thoughts and feelings.

Grief is not, by any means, a one-size-fits-all kind of process. In fact, it is a uniquely individual process that often feels amorphous and difficult to capture with words.

Finally, while there is no one "right" way to grieve, to actually grieve is essential for our ability to employ our human capacity to find a renewed sense of meaning. Grief elicits resilience. The capacity to continue to hold a loved one in our heart/mind while still forging forward with purpose and direction.

Five Ways to Grieve Mindfully

1. Accept your feelings: Allow yourself to feel what you feel at any given moment, with a sense of self-compassion, and without judgment.

2. Express your feelings: Just as important as accepting your feelings is expressing them in a way that is helpful to you. Journaling, talking about the experience, scrapbooking, or dancing, for example, are helpful ways to process grief instead of allowing the feelings to stay stuck.

3. Reach out: During this time, it is important to reach out in multiple ways. Reach out for guidance from a spiritual counselor or a psychologist. Reach out to share stories of your loved one with others. Reach out to offer support to other grievers. Find a balance between sitting with yourself, and being with others, but ultimately, reach out-don't isolate.

4. Continue to take care of yourself and others: Living life while grieving often feels like scaling a mountain. Grieving takes energy and can often feel draining. As much as possible during this tough time, continue to eat well, exercise, and maintain wellness practices.

5. Celebrate your loved one's life: It is important through the grief process to keep the memory of your loved one alive in some way that both inspires growth, and reflects and honors your unique relationship. This can include donating to a charity, meditating in their honor, and even planting a tree.

Read More

Frank Ostaseski shares experiences from his decades working with dying people and those who are dealing with the death of loved ones. Read More

These pandemic days at home aren't easy. Poet Tanya Davis reminds us that we're not alone, and inner resilience is always available to us. Read More

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5 Ways Mindfulness Can Help Us Work Through Grief - Mindful

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Grief is complicated, and there's no "right" way to experience it. As Jennifer Wolkin writes, grief is also intermingled with self-compassion and resilience. There's a question I'm asked often as a psychologist: What IS grief? Psychologically speaking, as Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross wrote in 1969, grief is an emotional response to loss.

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3 steps to help you grieve

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Need a Quick Activity to Help Anchor you in your Awareness?

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Need a Quick Activity to Help Anchor you in your Awareness?

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Mind Body Skills for Emotional Regulation

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Breathwork - Mind Body Skills for Emotional Regulation

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9 Ways Busy Parents Can Stay Involved in Their Child's Education

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9 Ways Busy Parents Can Stay Involved in Their Child's Education

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X The following publication is the copyrighted property of CBC IP Holding, LLC., and remains its sole property. Any copying or reproduction of the publication or its contents - including posting the publication or any of its content on other Web sites or computer networks - or linking to the publication or any of its contents from other Web sites or computer networks without the written permission of CBC IP Holding, LLC., is strictly prohibited.

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9 Ways Busy Parents Can Stay Involved In Their Child's Education CBC0996

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Parent Guide on How to be Involved in Your Child's Education

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Parent Guide on How to be Involved in Your Child's Education

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X The following publication is the copyrighted property of CBC IP Holding, LLC., and remains its sole property. Any copying or reproduction of the publication or its contents - including posting the publication or any of its content on other Web sites or computer networks - or linking to the publication or any of its contents from other Web sites or computer networks without the written permission of CBC IP Holding, LLC., is strictly prohibited.

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How To Be Involved In Your Child's Education; A Parent's Handbook CBC0025

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X The following publication is the copyrighted property of CBC IP Holding, LLC., and remains its sole property. Any copying or reproduction of the publication or its contents - including posting the publication or any of its content on other Web sites or computer networks - or linking to the publication or any of its contents from other Web sites or computer networks without the written permission of CBC IP Holding, LLC., is strictly prohibited.

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Parent Guide to Supporting Your Child At School

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Parent Guide to Supporting Your Child At School

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X The following publication is the copyrighted property of CBC IP Holding, LLC., and remains its sole property. Any copying or reproduction of the publication or its contents - including posting the publication or any of its content on other Web sites or computer networks - or linking to the publication or any of its contents from other Web sites or computer networks without the written permission of CBC IP Holding, LLC., is strictly prohibited.

Front Cover

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Your Guide To Supporting Your Child At School CBC0015

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X The following publication is the copyrighted property of CBC IP Holding, LLC., and remains its sole property. Any copying or reproduction of the publication or its contents - including posting the publication or any of its content on other Web sites or computer networks - or linking to the publication or any of its contents from other Web sites or computer networks without the written permission of CBC IP Holding, LLC., is strictly prohibited.

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The G.R.A.C.E. Practice: A Moment to Engage in Self-Care

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The G.R.A.C.E. Practice: A Moment to Engage in Self-Care

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Follow this 12-minute guided meditation to gather your attention and consider what would really serve you, your self-care, and your capacity for resilience.

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Follow this 12-minute guided meditation to gather your attention and consider what would really serve you, your self-care, and your capacity for resilience.

In the latest Mindful Live session, Michelle Maldonado discussed resilience for divided times with Mindful's editor-in-chief Heather Hurlock and offered a short guided G.R.A.C.E. practice.

The practice was created by Buddhist teacher Roshi Joan Halifax, and has been adapted for many audiences and populations, Maldonado says. Each of the letters in the acronym guide us, helping us to support ourselves in any moment. Saying the name alone-G.R.A.C.E-invites the body and the mind to soften along with the heart.

A Guided Meditation for GRACE

1. Find a comfortable position for your body. If you're seated in a chair, place your feet flat on the floor. Allow your spine to elongate, and find a harmony between being alert and relaxed. You may choose to close your eyes or cast them in a downward gaze.

2. Begin by taking a few long, deep breaths in and out to allow the body and mind to settle.

G Stands for Gathering Attention

3. Take a moment to gather your attention. You may place your attention on the sound or sensation of your breath. With a softened gaze, you may also choose to focus on an object or a sound. Sometimes it's useful to have options for where to place our attention for focused periods of time. I often call this a home base-a comfortable space where you can place and gather your attention.

R Stands for Recalling Intention

4. Next, we'll move to the letter R. In this moment, I invite you to recall an intention. Perhaps it's why you are here today. Maybe the intention is to simply be open, to discover new ways to be resilient, and to engage in self-care. Whatever it is for you, I invite you to recall your intention now. Then allow it to dissipate or drop like seeds in soil waiting to be fertilized.

We don't maintain our intention or focus on our intention. We set it as a gift to ourselves.

5. As you recall and set your intention, allow yourself to let go of it. We don't maintain our intention or focus on our intention. We set it as a gift to ourselves.

A Stands for Attuning to Self and Others

6. Next, we'll move to A- attuning to ourselves and others. First let's focus on attuning to ourselves by taking the next moment to do a brief body scan, checking in with the body. How is it feeling? Where do you notice any sensations, or none at all? See if you can notice the type of sensations that might be present. Could it be tightness, tingling, neutrality? Notice where the sensations are in the body and label them.

7. The next step is to think about attuning to others. In any kind of situation, conversation, or condition, we are attuned to others. We walk through the world alive, interconnected, and interdependent. So it's important for us to first attune to ourselves and to take that quality of presence and awareness out into the world as we attune to and with others.

So for this practice, this step might be attuning to those around you. See what it feels like to bring awareness to this space.

C Stands for Considering What Would Serve

8. Now, the letter C. Consider what would serve in reminding ourselves that self-care is not selfish. It's actually one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves and others because we cannot give from an empty well. In this next moment, I invite you to be curious and open about what would really serve you, your self-care, and your capacity for resilience. What else might be needed to support you best?

E Stands for Ethical Ending and Engagement

9. Finally moving to the last letter in the GRACE practice: ethical ending and engagement. Bring to mind at least one wise action you can take. Perhaps you can return to your reflection on what would serve. Maybe there's one first step you can take here. What might that be? As you consider that, notice what it feels like.

10. Taking a deep breath in and out, begin to feel your feet on the floor and your body on the chair. When you're ready, go ahead and open your eyes.

Michelle Maldonado, coauthor of A Bridge To Better: An Open Letter To Humanity and Resource Guide, shares a guided meditation for strengthening our ability to be self-aware, self-actualized, and self-determined as we co-create our emerging new reality and world together. Read More

Getting back to sleep in the middle of the night is no small feat. In this short video, Michelle Maldonado offers four ways to help make going to bed-and staying asleep-easier. Read More

As we continue to celebrate the women leaders of mindfulness, we invited teachers, researchers, and activists to share guided meditations that reflect what they've learned from their years of deep practice. Read More

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The GRACE Practice: A Moment to Engage in Self-Care - Mindful

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Follow this 12-minute guided meditation to gather your attention and consider what would really serve you, your self-care, and your capacity for resilience. In the latest Mindful Live session, Michelle Maldonado discussed resilience for divided times with Mindful's editor-in-chief Heather Hurlock and offered a short guided G.R.A.C.E. practice.

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5. Finish by Offering Loving-Kindness to Anyone who Comes to Mind

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5. Finish by Offering Loving-Kindness to Anyone who Comes to Mind

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People, animals, those whom you like, those whom you don’t, in an adventurous expanse of your own power of kindness.

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4. Offer Loving Kindness Toward a Person with whom you have Difficulty

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4. Offer Loving Kindness Toward a Person with whom you have Difficulty

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Start with someone mildly difficult, and slowly work toward someone who has hurt you more grievously. It’s common to feel resentment and anger, and it’s important not to judge yourself for that. Rather, recognize that anger burns within your heart and causes suffering, so out of the greatest respect and compassion for yourself, practice letting go and offering loving-kindness.

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3. Offer Loving-Kindness to a Neutral Person

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3. Offer Loving-Kindness to a Neutral Person

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Who you don’t feel a strong liking or disliking for: a cashier at the supermarket, a bank teller, a dry cleaner. When you offer loving-kindness to a neutral person, you are offering it to them simply because they exist—you are not indebted to or challenged by them.

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2. After a Few Minutes, Move on to a Friend

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2. After a Few Minutes, Move on to a Friend

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Start with a friend who’s doing well right now, then switch to someone who is experiencing difficulty, loss, pain, or unhappiness.

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1. Begin With Someone Who Has Helped You

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1. Begin With Someone Who Has Helped You

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maybe they’ve been directly generous or kind, or have inspired you though you’ve never met them. When you think of them, they make you smile. Bring an image of the person to mind, or feel their presence as if they’re right in front of you. Say their name to yourself, and silently offer these phrases to them, focusing on one phrase at a time:May you live in safety. May you have mental happiness (peace, joy). May you have physical happiness (health, freedom from pain). May you live with ease.Don’t struggle to fabricate a feeling or sentiment. If your mind wanders, simply begin again.

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A Loving-Kindness Practice to Connect with Others

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A Loving-Kindness Practice to Connect with Others

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Choose a daily positive affirmation to tell yourself!

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6. Begin to open up to the emotional body. Is there is a presence of, or an absence of? Without getting caught up in the narrative, without anything needing to make sense.

7. Find softening and widening into the experience, and see if the body can follow you. Is there contraction or tightness? Heat or coolness? Stillness or vibration?

8. If we begin to create stories or narratives around it, can we come back to the anchor?

9. Allow this emotional body to move through us at the speed of trust.

10. How do we know the presence of this emotional body? Is it moving throughout the body or is it staying put?

11. Is it getting bigger, or is it getting smaller with our attention placed upon it? Is it solid or is it breaking apart?

12. Are you able to see all that it’s made up of—the fear and sadness, the joy, the happiness, the grief. Can you see impermanence as the emotional body moves through?

13. How is the mind responding? Is there a pulling toward or pushing away, a confusion?

14. What is the quality of a heart and mind when holding on, grasping, clinging, or identifying with a strong emotion? What is the quality of a heart and mind when there is a knowing that this arises, and this will pass away.

15. Is there a sense of ease, of spaciousness, of an opening? How is the body now? How is the breath? How is the heart?

16. Breathe the breath in, and breathe the breath out.

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1. Find a comfortable posture—walking, standing, lying down, or seated.  With open eyes, move the head side to side, breathing in and pausing when the chin is over a shoulder, breathe out as the head moves, pausing with the chin over the other shoulder.

2. Notice your space—the colors, shapes, height, width, and depth of the room, the elements of nature.

3. Rest the eyes—open, but with a soft gaze, looking down, or close them. Breathe, and feel into the moment.

4. How is the mind? How is the body? How is the breath? And how is your heart? Feel into the posture of your body.

5. Feel gravity pulling down, rooting this body, connecting it to the Earth. Feel the sense of solidity, knowing this body as Earth element. Feel Earth holding Earth. In this stillness, you might begin to feel the sense of movement. It could be a little vibration, a shimmering. Or you could feel a bigger movement. Perhaps the body is rocking, soothing itself. Whether it’s in the stillness or the movement, you might feel a sense of ease in the body—a place where you can rest. A place that allows you a sense of ease and peace. Keep coming back to this anchor.

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“Endings and beginnings happen all the time whether or not we notice. As you read this your skin cells are dying and regenerating. The air you breathe is different with each inhalation,” writes Elaine Smookler. Being with change is “an intentional practice that takes courage.”

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Changes often hurt when they first emerge, but resisting them goes against the way the world works.

In my teens and 20s I lived in a spiritual community where days and nights of ordered living, rules, and obedience made it seem like change was something that happened somewhere else, to other people. For us, life felt unchanging, certain, solid. And then a scandal flamed through the group like a fire through a tinder-dry forest. In a flash, one identity ended, and my new life began.

I had no choice but to open up to the kaleidoscope of possibilities inherent in every moment. And it was one heck of a ride. I started working in the arts as a producer, creator, and performer. And I finally knew who I was. Or at least, I thought I knew who I was, and then that changed, too, as everything does. Nothing sticks around. Nothing stays the same. How many versions of us come and go over the days, the months, the years? The child gives way to the adolescent. The adult ripens and rots.

Change brings us face to face with impermanence. This awareness could easily breed anxiety or terror or rage.

How can you plan for your future if you don't know what it will be, what you will be or, even worse, if you will be? Most of us react to this groundlessness by trying to stop things from changing. But how far do we really get with that?

Even change for the better can feel unpleasant. You get a new job, with more money, and then worry starts to bloom. What if things don't work out? What if they realize I'm a fraud and I actually have no clue what I'm doing?

But the truth is we don't know much about what "will be." All we can really know is what is right now.

Endings and beginnings happen all the time whether or not we notice. As you read this your skin cells are dying and regenerating. The air you breathe is different with each inhalation. Even the dye on the lush, green plastic ivy I'd planted to bring winter cheer is fading. Change is the only thing that remains evergreen.

We are, by definition, creatures of evolution. We are here because of our ability to adapt to changing circumstances. Ironically, we evolve through fresh experience yet often cringe when it comes our way.

Instead of seeking out some elusive solid ground, we can become curious about what is here, now. What is this in front of me? What do I notice about its shape, sound, color, texture, and smell? Allow yourself to take in the raw data coming through your senses. If you stay close to what you're experiencing, you can't help but ride the waves of change. Instead of trying to peer around the corner in hopes of seeing what's coming, move in for an intimate look at what's happening right now. Recognize your preferences, but learn to hold them lightly, knowing that even what you think you want is subject to change.

Instead of trying to peer around the corner in hopes of seeing what's coming, move in for an intimate look at what's happening right now. Recognize your preferences, but learn to hold them lightly, knowing that even what you think you want is subject to change.

Developing an appetite for the unknown might initially feel like a reckless act. But being with change is not haphazard. It's an intentional practice that takes courage. It invites us to stand up and explore our lives with vigor, knowing we will never experience this moment again. As corny as it sounds, everything really is only here for now. It's all ephemeral. When we realize this, we can open our eyes to what's in front of us and be present to what is coming and going. You don't have to want what's coming. But you can always smile knowing that, whatever it is, it too shall pass.
This column appeared in the December 2017 issue of Mindful magazine.

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Why Change is Your Greatest Ally - Mindful

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Changes often hurt when they first emerge, but resisting them goes against the way the world works. In my teens and 20s I lived in a spiritual community where days and nights of ordered living, rules, and obedience made it seem like change was something that happened somewhere else, to other people.

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Leslie Booker offers this guided meditation for opening and holding the emotional body when times are tough.

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Yoga and meditation teacher, speaker, and author Leslie Booker offers a practice to check in with your body, breath, and heart.

1. Find a comfortable posture-walking, standing, lying down, or seated. With open eyes, move the head side to side, breathing in and pausing when the chin is over a shoulder, breathe out as the head moves, pausing with the chin over the other shoulder.

2. Notice your space -the colors, shapes, height, width, and depth of the room, the elements of nature.

3. Rest the eyes-open, but with a soft gaze, looking down, or close them. Breathe, and feel into the moment.

4. How is the mind? How is the body? How is the breath? And how is your heart? Feel into the posture of your body.

5. Feel gravity pulling down, rooting this body, connecting it to the Earth. Feel the sense of solidity, knowing this body as Earth element. Feel Earth holding Earth. In this stillness, you might begin to feel the sense of movement. It could be a little vibration, a shimmering. Or you could feel a bigger movement. Perhaps the body is rocking, soothing itself. Whether it's in the stillness or the movement, you might feel a sense of ease in the body-a place where you can rest. A place that allows you a sense of ease and peace. Keep coming back to this anchor.

Opening up to the Emotional Body

6. Begin to open up to the emotional body. Is there is a presence of, or an absence of? Without getting caught up in the narrative, without anything needing to make sense.

7. Find softening and widening into the experience, and see if the body can follow you. Is there contraction or tightness? Heat or coolness? Stillness or vibration?

8. If we begin to create stories or narratives around it, can we come back to the anchor?

9. Allow this emotional body to move through us at the speed of trust.

10. How do we know the presence of this emotional body? Is it moving throughout the body or is it staying put?

11. Is it getting bigger, or is it getting smaller with our attention placed upon it? Is it solid or is it breaking apart?

12. Are you able to see all that it's made up of-the fear and sadness, the joy, the happiness, the grief. Can you see impermanence as the emotional body moves through?

13. How is the mind responding? Is there a pulling toward or pushing away, a confusion?

14. What is the quality of a heart and mind when holding on, grasping, clinging, or identifying with a strong emotion? What is the quality of a heart and mind when there is a knowing that this arises, and this will pass away.

15. Is there a sense of ease, of spaciousness, of an opening? How is the body now? How is the breath? How is the heart?

16. Breathe the breath in, and breathe the breath out.

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A Practice to Hold the Emotional Body - Mindful

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Yoga and meditation teacher, speaker, and author Leslie Booker offers a practice to check in with your body, breath, and heart. 1. Find a comfortable posture -walking, standing, lying down, or seated. With open eyes, move the head side to side, breathing in and pausing when the chin is over a shoulder, breathe out as the head moves, pausing with the chin over the other shoulder.

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1. Fall into it: As Sylvia Boorstein writes: “Perhaps these days of less sunlight are opportunities for more contemplative time, more looking deeply to see what perhaps can only be seen in the dark.” Let nature’s cues lead you to your own exploration of impermanence—and finding the joy in each moment.

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Here in the northern hemisphere, the days are getting shorter. It's not the coldest time of the year yet, but the earlier sunsets are a sign that cold days are coming, and the calendars on desks are down to the last pages. The year is dying.

These are especially hard days for people whose minds are burdened with the fatigue of depression, the grief of loss, even the relatively mild Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) that seems directly related to the amount of daylight. Someone once said to me, "The view out the window looks like the inside of my mind. Hopeless." Right after Thanksgiving, therapists I know begin saying, "I can't wait until the holidays are over. Everyone feels worse. It's such a problem to try to be happy if you're not."

So for these darkening days, here are some thoughts about varieties of mind fatigue, how psychotherapy is sometimes helpful, how meditation is sometimes helpful, how medication is sometimes helpful, how patience is always helpful.

How Mindfulness Can Help with Depression

A friend of mine, a woman I'll call Eve, began mindfulness meditation shortly before I did, twenty-five years ago. Eve is a psychologist, successful at her work. I met her at my first retreat. She told me that she had the same clinical depression that her mother and grandmother had before her. Eve's particular depression came and went in cycles of several month intervals, not predictable by season or situation. She had been in psychotherapy for long periods of her life, and said it had supported her through some very difficult times. Eve began to meditate years ago hoping it also would help her depression. She went on retreat often and had a regular meditation practice at home.

I particularly remember her enthusiasm for practice, which was evident even as she told me, all those years ago, "I still have the same cycles of depression. They are not different, but I am different. First of all, I see the cycles coming on more clearly than I did before, and I adjust my work schedule so it's easier for me to manage. I'm also less anxious about them because I know they will pass. I'm just more relaxed about it all."

"I still have the same cycles of depression. They are not different, but I am different. First of all, I see the cycles coming on more clearly than I did before, and I adjust my work schedule so it's easier for me to manage. I'm also less anxious about them because I know they will pass. I'm just more relaxed about it all."

These days there are drugs to treat Eve's depression and she takes them. And she still has a regular meditation practice. "The difference," Eve said to me recently, "is that I used to end retreats just balanced enough to keep on going. Now I start reasonably balanced. My mind has energy in it. I'm starting to see things I hadn't seen before. I'm surprised, especially after all these years of looking at myself, to see parts of my own psyche that I never saw before. I'm even starting to see the habits that set up extra suffering in my mind, and I'm not doing them so much. Now I feel like I'm really meditating."

I think Eve was always really meditating. It was enough that the quiet and seclusion of her meditation times, on and off retreat, was soothing to her, and that her determination to try to concentrate created enough energy so she could say, "I feel balanced."

Not a Cure-All

Mindfulness, in my experience, does not cure clinical depression. But when the mind is balanced and energetic, mindfulness supports the development of insight. And even when the mind lacks energy, paying attention soothes the anxiety about the fatigue. Any lessening of suffering is good.

Grief is different from depression. Grief is the intense sadness associated with the loss of something dear-the death of a loved one, the failure of a relationship, the collapse of a career, the unexpected onset of an incurable illness. Grief is the natural reaction of the mind to a shock. My own experience of it is that the mind feels numbed. Maybe the numbness is the body providing temporary anesthesia for the pain.

Mindfulness, in my experience, does not cure clinical depression. But when the mind is balanced and energetic, mindfulness supports the development of insight. And even when the mind lacks energy, paying attention soothes the anxiety about the fatigue. Any lessening of suffering is good.

Mourning, when the mind is ready to acknowledge the loss, seems the beginning of the process of healing, and it takes however long it takes. My friend Judi told me that the first year after her partner Meg died was the hardest. She said she needed to do one Thanksgiving, one Christmas, one Valentine's Day, one of everything they had done together, by herself, before she began to feel like herself again. It's different for everyone. Another friend of mine told me she needed to wait five years before she was able to even begin to cry about her mother's death.

Talking about sadness is good for the mourning process. Having someone who is able to witness grief with compassion, someone who isn't frightened by pain, eases the burden of keeping it unspoken. Loving friends are good. Grief counselors are good. Grief isn't an illness. Usually it does not need either therapy or medication. It needs time.

Meditations that are comforting might be helpful. Silent meditation retreats, I've discovered, are helpful for some people and not for others. Someone I know came to Spirit Rock Meditation Center a week after the death of his teenage son some time ago. Now he comes every year, for that same week. The silence and seclusion allow him to feel safe enough to cry. For others, the sense of isolation and the absence of stimuli seem to magnify the pain. The insight of impermanence, the deep down sense that everything, including current grief, mercifully passes, is comforting. It doesn't erase sadness. It supports the ability to be sad. It is unwise, though, I think, to remind grieving people of impermanence. They feel unheard. The insight arises by itself, as part of the natural mourning process, in its own time.

Seasonal Affective Disorder is a relatively new term in the psychology lexicon. People used to call it Wintertime Blues. It's a good thing that scientists have named it, and figured out that the absence of daylight is a probable cause. Maybe it is that. Legitimizing Seasonal Affective Disorder makes it possible for people to talk about it, and not feel they need to hide it. It also gives people courage to wait it out. It will pass, soon, after the solstice.

And maybe we also experience Seasonal Affective Disorder because this is a time of endings, and there is a melancholy about endings, especially if some hope for what might have been has not been fulfilled. Perhaps it's a good thing to let ourselves be sad, at least enough to recognize the losses in our lives that we've avoided seeing. Perhaps these days of less sunlight are opportunities for more contemplative time, more looking deeply to see what perhaps can only be seen in the dark.

As we move toward the solstice, and the return of the light, blessings for the New Year.

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Here in the northern hemisphere, the days are getting shorter. It's not the coldest time of the year yet, but the earlier sunsets are a sign that cold days are coming, and the calendars on desks are down to the last pages. The year is dying.

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Parent Guide to Help your Child Build Resilience

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Parent Guide to Help your Child Build Resilience

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Step by step guide to help families build resilience during the COVID-19 pandemic.

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Register for Models of Pride Conference November 14 & 15

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Register for Models of Pride Conference November 14 & 15

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Models of Pride is the world’s largest FREE conference for LGBTQ youth & allies 12-24, as well as parents & professionals. This year’s virtual event will include an opening session, workshops, resources, and entertainment – all free!

In the past, workshop topics have included Activism/Social Justice, Ally Community & Issues, Arts & Culture, Coming Out/Families, Education/Careers, Gender (i.e. Queer, Trans, Intersex, etc.), Health, People of Color Community & Issues, Self-Empowerment, Sexualities (Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Pan, Fluid, etc.), and Spirituality/Faith.

In the past, workshop topics for the Parent & Professional Institute track have included Allyship, Child Welfare/System(s) of Care/Juvenile Justice, Dating & Healthy Relationships, Education, Faith & Spirituality, Legal Rights, Mental Health, Parent Support/Resources, Sexual Health, Support Trans/Gender-Expansive Youth, Support for LGBTQA Youth 13 and Under, and Racial Justice.

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Youth Register Here Parents & Professionals Register Here The 28th annual Models of Pride conference will take place Nov 14 & 15 on a screen near you!

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Have you or someone close to you lost a loved one?

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Have you or someone close to you lost a loved one?

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Here is 10 ways to cope with the loss of a loved one.

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Great tool for coping with stress!

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You can practice with these guided meditation recordings from this website, or download them onto your portable device. It's OK if it seems a little weird at first. To get the hang of it, you may wish to try practicing with a particular recording at the same time, every day, for a week. Once you've got the feel for it, you can decide whether to continue using the recordings, or instead, just guide yourself using your own inner voice. ( Caution: Please do not listen to these recordings while driving or operating machinery.)

1. Eating a Raisin Mindfully (~5 minutes) (To download, click here and then right-click on the screen to save the MP3 file onto your computer)

http://mindfulnessforteens.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/1.-Eating-a-Raisin-Mindfully.mp3

2. Mindful Breathing (~5 minutes) (To download, click here and then right-click on the screen to save the MP3 file onto your computer)

3. Sitting Meditation (~10 minutes) (To download, click here and then right-click on the screen to save the MP3 file onto your computer)

4. Body Scan (Short) (~10 minutes) (To download, click here and then right-click on the screen to save the MP3 file onto your computer)

5. SOBER Breathing Space (~3 minutes) (To download, click here and then right-click on the screen to save the MP3 file onto your computer)

6. Walking Meditation (~ 10 minutes) (To download, click here and then right-click on the screen to save the MP3 file onto your computer)

7. Mindful Movement (~10 minutes) (To download, click here and then right-click on the screen to save the MP3 file onto your computer)

8. Mindfulness of Thinking (~10 minutes) (To download, click here and then right-click on the screen to save the MP3 file onto your computer)

9. SOBER Coping Space (~3 minutes) (To download, click here and then right-click on the screen to save the MP3 file onto your computer)

10. Loving-Kindness Meditation (~5 minutes) (To download, click here and then right-click on the screen to save the MP3 file onto your computer)

11. Body Scan (Long) (~30 minutes) (To download, click here and then right-click on the screen to save the MP3 file onto your computer)

Learn more about mindfulness here.

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Guided Meditations - Mindfulness for Teens

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You can practice with these guided meditation recordings from this website, or download them onto your portable device. It's OK if it seems a little weird at first. To get the hang of it, you may wish to try practicing with a particular recording at the same time, every day, for a week.

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Created by the National Alliance on Mental Illness

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NAMI Urban Los Angeles' Resources pages displays over 100 resources from crisis lines to holistic health.

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Covid-19 Resources - NAMI Urban Los Angeles

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© 2020 NAMI Urban Los Angeles. All Rights Reserved.

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Have you recently lost a love one? Here are some tools to cope with the loss and your emotions.

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Tips on what Black LGBTQ Youth can do to take care of your mental health!

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Tips on what Black LGBTQ Youth can do to take care of your mental health!

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For parents & students!

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If you or someone you know are having suicidal thoughts please reach out to an adult you trust or use this website. They have options to call, text, and chat directly on the website.

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Lifeline Chat is a service of the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (formerly known as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline), connecting individuals with counselors for emotional support and other services via web chat. All chat centers in the Lifeline network are accredited by CONTACT USA. Lifeline…

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Do you or someone you know need WiFi access? Los Angeles Public Libraries are giving away hot spots!

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Do you or someone you know need WiFi access? Los Angeles Public Libraries are giving away hot spots!

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Beginning Monday, June 8, holds will be available for pick up at select libraries, Monday - Friday, 10 am - 5 pm.

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Want to figure out how you can  talk to your family about Race?

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Want to figure out how you can  talk to your family about Race?

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Silence about race reinforces racism. Talking about race and racism with your family is important.

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Silence about race reinforces racism. Talking about race and racism with children is an important way to begin to address systemic societal issues. Here are resources on having conversations with children about race and issues surrounding it:

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First 5 LA's Resources for Talking to Kids about Race and Racial Inequity - First 5 LA: Parents & Family

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Silence about race reinforces racism. Talking about race and racism with children is an important way to begin to address systemic societal issues. Here are resources on having conversations with children about race and issues surrounding it:

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To Manage Some of Your Common COVID-19 Worries

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To Manage Some of Your Common COVID-19 Worries

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Focus on what you can control

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If you need a safe escape

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The Monterey Bay Aquarium Sea Otter Program has played an important role in the continued recovery of the southern sea otter population with our research, rescue, rehabilitation, and surrogacy work.

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With ten live cams to choose from, you can experience the wonder of the ocean no matter where you are. Be delighted by the antics of our sea otters or mellow out to the hypnotic drifting of our jellies. Tune in to one of the Monterey Bay Aquarium's web cams.

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Does anyone you know need reliable childcare?

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Does anyone you know need reliable childcare?

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The State of California has established a website to help Californians working in essential sectors during the coronavirus response to find safe, reliable, and accessible child care options.

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https://achieve.lausd.net/Page/16559#spn-content

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Here are all the benefits of coloring:
1. Reduces Stress & Anxiety

2.Improve Motor Skills & Vision

3. Stimulates Your Creativity

4. Contributes to Better Handwriting

5. Improves Sleep

6. Improves Focus and Hand to Eye Coordination

7. It Relaxes Your Brain

8. Improves Confidence and Self Esteem

9. Helps Self-Expression

10. Attention flows away from ourselves

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Providing 50 shelter-in-place recipes at no charge (make-ahead, freeze, pantry meals)

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Free Access: The 50 America's Test Kitchen Recipes You Need Now | America's Test Kitchen

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America's Test Kitchen is providing this special collection of 50 free recipes (pantry meals, make and freeze, baking projects, and more) for everyone during the COVID-19 emergency. Cook well, stay safe.

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U-HAUL is offering 30 day free storage for people with a student ID

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This website is owned and operated by Web Team Associates, Inc. Copyright © 2020 U-Haul International, Inc. Air-Cushioned Ride
All rights reserved. U-Haul International, Inc.'s trademarks and copyrights are used under license by Web Team Associates, Inc.
®

uhaul.com (ALL) - 04.27.2020 at 16.3 - from 1.316.5

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College Students U-Haul Offers 30 Days Free Self Storage Amid Coronavirus Outbreak | U-Haul Blog

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This website is owned and operated by Web Team Associates, Inc. Copyright © 2020 U-Haul International, Inc. Air-Cushioned RideAll rights reserved. U-Haul International, Inc.'s trademarks and copyrights are used under license by Web Team Associates, Inc. ® uhaul.com (ALL) - 04.27.2020 at 16.3 - from 1.316.5

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To date, over 1,000 hotspots have been provided by Alliance to scholars who don’t have WiFi at home or need additional bandwidth. If you or someone you know needs a hotspot, please encourage families to contact Alliance’s IT Team at (213) 340-4355 between the hours of 8:00 a.m. and 6:00 p.m. on weekdays.

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For those of you who have MediCal

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This is a cognitive distortion that many people do. It's when an everyday thing happens, like someone doesn't answer your call, invite you somewhere, or someone ask you something, and you feel like you know exactly what someone is thinking of feeling. This is normal and it happens to everyone, just a gentle reminder that it is not always true. Most of the time it is an assumption you are making.

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Tips From Your Peers to Help You Be Productive

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Tips From Your Peers to Help You Be Productive

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Tips From Your Peers to Help You Be Productive

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Tips From Your Peers to Help You Be Productive

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Article written by your peers at Alliance Bloomfield about productivity during COVID-19.

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Article written by your peers at Alliance Bloomfield about how student's are feeling stressed during quarantine and distance learning.

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Try this sleep meditation before bed!

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Jennifer Piercy takes you through a beautifully designed Yoga Nidra for Sleep meditation. Her deeply calming voice penetrates into your very soul, instilling a sense of internal peace and leaving you feeling incredibly relaxed, present and rejuvenated.

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Yoga Journal is your source for yoga pose instruction, sequences, free video classes, guided meditations, and information on the yogic lifestyle.

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How to reduce the effects of stress

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How to Reduce the Effects of Stress on Your Life

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How you react to stress makes all the difference. Strong stress management skills lead to higher levels of happiness and satisfaction.

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How to Access Mental Health Services through Private Insurance

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How to Access Mental Health Services through Private Insurance

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Headspace and the LA County Department of Mental Health have partnered to provide support and resources during this challenging time. Sign up to access meditations, as well as sleep and movement exercises, designed to help you care for your mind — all free through 2020. You can also scroll down to explore a special collection curated for LA. Because when we take care of ourselves, everyone shines.

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Meditation and Sleep Made Simple - Headspace

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Live a healthier, happier, more well-rested life in just a few minutes a day with the Headspace app.

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Does anyone in your family need legal assistance?

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Does anyone in your family need legal assistance?

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Legal Aid Represents is an unprecedented legal assistance initiative to help thousands of Angelenos who are
facing extreme hardship due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

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LA Represents is an unprecedented legal assistance initiative to help thousands of Angelenos who are facing extreme hardship due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

Mayor Eric Garcetti and City Attorney Mike Feuer have assembled a coalition of law firms, bar associations and attorneys who will enhance their existing pro bono commitments to legal aid organizations to provide COVID-19-related legal services, including helping vulnerable tenants, domestic violence victims and low income individuals with employment, consumer debt, and bankruptcy matters.

Additionally, we have partnered with Bet Tzedek Legal Services to build a new support system for small businesses devastated by the COVID-19 pandemic. Many LA Represents pro bono attorneys will provide assistance to small businesses least likely to have access to effective legal services as they confront new workplace regulations, renegotiate commercial leases, apply for government relief programs, and navigate compliance with emergency health and safety orders.

I need a lawyer to help me with:

My landlord

My safety

My employment

My debt

Other legal questions

I am a lawyer who wants to help

Below is a list of legal aid organizations to contact about offering your services.

My small business needs legal advice

Thank you to our partners

Allen Matkins Leck Gamble Mallory & Natsis LLP

Arent Fox LLP

Bird, Mirella, Boxer, Wolpert, Nessim, Drooks, Lincenberg & Rhow PC

Blank Rome LLP

McDermott Will & Emery LLP

Cooley LLP

Covington & Burling LLP

Davis Wright Tremaine LLP

Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher LLP

Goodwin Procter LLP

Hogan Lovells

Irell & Manella LLP

Jones Day

King & Spalding LLP

Kirkland & Ellis LLP

Larson O'Brien LLP

Latham & Watkins LLP

Law Offices of Lawrence S. Middleton

Manatt, Phelps & Phillips, LLP

McDermott Will & Emery LLP

Milbank LLP

Morgan, Lewis & Bockius LLP

Munger, Tolles & Olson LLP

Nixon Peabody LLP

O'Melveny & Myers LLP

Paul Hastings LLP

Perkins Coie LLP

Seyfarth Shaw LLP

Sheppard, Mullin, Richter & Hampton LLP

Southern California Edison

Steptoe & Johnson LLP

Vedder Price

Winston & Strawn LLP

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LA Represents | COVID-19: Keeping Los Angeles Safe

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Mayor Eric Garcetti and City Attorney Mike Feuer have assembled a coalition of law firms, bar associations and attorneys who will enhance their existing pro bono commitments to legal aid organizations to provide COVID-19-related legal services, including helping vulnerable tenants, domestic violence victims and low income individuals with employment, consumer debt, and bankruptcy matters.

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It may be linked to how you are feeling emotionally.

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Productivity Happens When Your Needs Are Met

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Productivity Happens When Your Needs Are Met

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Knowing what to do can help you and your loved ones stay safer and healthier when disaster strikes. Learn more about how to protect yourself and your loved ones from public health emergencies.

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Knowing what to do can help you and your loved ones stay safer and healthier when disaster strikes. Learn more about how to protect yourself and your loved ones from public health emergencies.

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Knowing what to do can help you and your loved ones stay safer and healthier when disaster strikes. Learn more about how to protect yourself and your loved ones from public health emergencies.