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New experience
I travelled to London in last December with my friend. We stayed for a month. Overall, it was an amazing experienc.

First of all, One of my molars was broken. I still don't know why! I was just chewing jelly and walking on the road. Suddenly my tooth was broken! Another problem was that my phone was broken at the NYE party. My host told me that Robert Pattison is in here. So I was so excited and jumped on my feet. And I dropped a phone to the floor and then it didn't work. Actually I was OK but I was really worried about my pareants who were worried about me. Fortunately, My lovely friend borrowed her phone to contact my parents so it didn't matter.

But I have good memories more than bad memories. First of all, We had a Christmas Party with someone who first meet. they were my host's friends. I've never had a party with foreigner and I'm not keen on talking to someone who first meet. But they were so kind to me and we became friends.
For another, I went to a NYE party! It was my first NYE party in abroad and first experience to greet the New Year in abroad. It was an amazing experience. Finally, One of the best decisions I made there was to go to my favourite band concert twice because I touched the vocal's arms and face!

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Dear Sir,

I’m writing about the suggestion a new policy about preservation and safety in Hangang park. At the moment this area is an absolutely beautiful place in Seoul and people love this area. Especially in summer, many people come and enjoy the fantastic night scenery so this area always is crowded by the riders, runners, camping people and someone just for a walking around.

In addition to this, sometimes some dangerous things happen in this area. Some bicycle riders hit people by mistake almost everyday, some people steal other's stuff, some drunken people threaten the others, and even harassment crimes happen in the camping place.

If you consider the new policy or regulation about this area to preserve and people can enjoy more peaceful and plenty rest.

I hope that the Hangang park will keep sustainable and people will be  pleased with this a long period.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully

Seonyoung Park

That's really good Seonyoung!
very formal and official, and some good ideas for the mayor to consider. I hadn't realised there were so many problems in the park!

Some small errors:
1. Some + plurals. No preposition
2. Stuff is uncountable and always singular.
3. Harrassment crimes are plural - it's not just one.
4. keep + sustainable = collocation
5. people will be pleased with this for a long period

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Dear sir

I'm writing about heavy traffic congestion occurring in the Sin-hyeon street from the front of the Gwang-myeong elementary school to the Tae-jae hill.

As you know, Opo was a small town. It had just a few stores beside the narrow roads and its few residential area was located separately near mountains. However for recent ten years, the population of Opo has increased as the residential area became larger and larger by removing the green belt and allowing constructors to build many buildings destroying the mountains. The number of cars passing the Sin-hyeon street has increased although the narrow road remains still. Consequently traffic congestion is caused even when it is not an rush hour.

I suggest a few options to you. First and foremost, I want you to enlarge the Sin-hyeon street into four-land road. It is sincerely heartbreaking that we must pull down the stores near the road. However it is necessary for the future of Opo in a long-term sight. Secondly, I want you to restrict additional constructions of villages which don't consider the circumstance and stop unconditional destruction of mountains. Opo is not an planned city so, it is composed of small roads which were built out of consideration about the massive increasing of population. In addition to this, unconditional development to enlarge the residential area can cause not only traffic congestion but also secondary problems such as landslides. Finally I want you to bulid a new road next to the Sin-hyeon street which is directly connected to the Tae-jae hill. In my opinion, it could lower the rate of traffic congestion occurrence through dividing cars which head toward the Tae-jae hill from cars which head toward the area connected to the Sin-hyeon street.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully

Hae Won Lee

Really nice, Hae Won. Do you think your writing has improved since you started the course? All your essays are so perfectly planned and you are using a great selection of linkers. Some really good, practical suggestions as well!
A couple of tiny things:
1. a few + plural nouns
2. 'four-lane road
3. in the long term.

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Dear Manager of the City-Planning Section of Mapo-gu Office

I am writing to notify about the necessity which the present traffic system have to be changed.

First and foremost, the number of cars was increasing on A-Hyun station since it has carried out the city plan.

Therefore it has to plan newly to install traffic lights and to make an intersection.

A few days ago I crossed the big street then almost got a car accident due to the confusing signs and traffic lights.

Even though there are a lot of huge trucks keeping the construction but isn’t any safety device.

Secondly, pedestrian walkways are not certain from cars.

It can really cause life-threatening accidents.

The construction’s plans remain about 3~4 years to the end, we knew that, there is no time to waste.

Finally, an apartment complex which contains over 1,000 families is built, it likes increasing rates of cars and population.

People who live in New Town are already gathering their complaints.

And they also need adequate policies and alternative plans against present traffic problem.

I hope you will recognize these problems, notifying plans about change the traffic system.

and I am looking forward to your reply.

Your faithfully.

Ms. Kang

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I am definitely a city person. I don't think I hate countrysides. It's peaceful and silent. It is obviously less polluted and less crowded than cities. Despite all advantages of the country, I don't want to live there for a long period.

I'd like to live in a city because there are many advantages compared to the lives in the country. First of all, I can live a rich cultural life such as to go to the cinemas or to chat with my friends in coffee shops.
Secondly, Public transportation system is more highly developed than the country. Busses come to bus stations more frequently and there are more various bus routes than the country. Also there are more underground stations so I can go to many different places just taking the subway. Last but not least, I can access the internet more easily than the country. There are a lot of public places that provide wireless internet service, which is essential to contemporary human beings.

In spite of common ideas about beautiful lives in the country, in my opinion, there are disadvantages. For one thing, it's not easy to have privacy. Actually I disagree with socially accepted ideas that people who live in the country are friendlier than cities, but if that is true, I think invasion of privacy will happen frequently in the name of kindness. Another reason is that hospitals and public goods such as police stations or fire stations are usually located far from houses. So it's not easy to use such service even in the emergency situations. Finally public transportation system is more degraded than cities. Busses are barely passing around their routes and there isn't any tube.

Therefore for all these reasons I stated above, I firmly believe that life in cities is better than life in the country.

Hae Won, this is really excellent. It is well organised,  with clear paragraphs,and plenty of linkers.
Also, a wide range of vocabulary. It's a really good attempt at an IELTS essay, actually!

Just a couple of very minor errors:
1. the countryside - it's uncountable and always uses 'the'
2. Go + to + many places
3. Access the internet - no preposition

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When I was a child, I promised I would never get a driver license and use public transportation as much as I can. Though there is an another reason that I'm afraid of driving, the main reason is to save the Earth. Since the day when I swore, I've strongly believed that people should use public transport more than their own cars. So I've taken buses or the subway to go to school or other places.
I think there is only one reason why we should use public transportation rather than driving a car. To prevent bad things happen and then to save the earth which is directly connected to the problem whether we survive or not. The more direct reason is that we should lower the emitting rate of carbon-dioxide, which is one of the greenhouse gasses and one of the main causes contaminating the atmosphere, by reducing the rate of driving cars.
If we use more public transportation than driving, first of all, the possibility that traffic congestion happens will drop and then it will reduce the time for cars spending on the roads, so it could reduce the rate of carbon-dioxide emitted. Secondly it will lower the rising speed of general temperature and sea temperature. Then it will prevent rapid climate change and changes of environment in the ocean. So thirdly, we can avoid making animals and trees be endangered which are vulnerable to climate change. In case of trees, this fact can lead to the way to solve the carbon-dioxide problem. Last but not least, it can slow down the melting speed of glacier and then sea level rising. So destruction of the habitats or islands, which are located on the low sea levels, can be prevented.

Really good  -another great IELTS style essay. A good range of reasons for your opinion, all clearly stated.
1. Public transport is uncountable and singular.
2. buses
3. Try not to start sentences with 'so' in a formal essay: use 'consequently' or 'as a result of this'

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In my personal opinion, we shouldn't throw out lots of food waste. Because food waste pollute the air, land and water.
And first of all there are lots of people who can't eat any food in the world.
So, if we buy something food which we want to make or eat, we should not buy too much. And then we have to eat and use all rhem as soon as possible.
In order to do this, I usually make out a menu on the day before.  So I can buy somthing that is quite a little necessary.
And I usually try use all dishes that is made on the day. Also I have to put labels on some food that need to store for the moment.
If we throw out food waste leas than before, probably our planet will becom gradually clean.

That is a really good and sensible idea, Jeongjin. I think you are a very organised lady in your house! I wish I could be that organised!

Just a couple of tiny errors:
1.  Food waste is singular uncountable - pollutes
2. something food = some food/something to eat
3. a moment - 1 minute
the monent = the present
4. less food waste

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I firmly believe that doing recycle is important to protect the environment. I always try to do recycle so when garbage is collected, I sort my garbage into plastics, glass, plastic, cans and paper. There is a recycling bin in front of my house so I can easily do recycle.

I think that people should do recycle for this three reasons. First of all, A lot of people are using plastics which are very bad for environment. If they just throw away plastics without recycling, they generate chemical and toxic gas. After that, they will pollute the air. Also when plastics are thrown out to the ground, it takes 500 years to decay. Secondly, recycling is more helpful to the economy. It can reduces production costs. Last but not least, the huge amount of trees are cutting down to make paper in every day. We have to save the tree and preserve it for our planet so recycling is a great help to that.

If we do recycle, we can save the money about 60 billion won per year. So we will be able to use that money to environmental businesses. And if trees are protected, the air will be more cleaner. Then all lifes on the planet can live in the healthy earth.

That's a really excellent essay, Sunhyung. It is perfectly organised into paragraphs, and you have a great range of vocabulary and some really good ideas. Well done! :)

Just a few small errors:
1. do recycle - we say to recycle or to do recycling.
2. Plastics - plastic is uncountable and always singular.
3. Can reduces - after can/could we always use the infinitive with no 's'
4. save the tree - only one tree?
5. It will be more cleaner??? What is the rule for comparatives with short adjectives? e.g. colder/smaller?

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Our business is called “Awesome Han paper”. Our idea is to print the picture that can be an unforgettable memory such as family pictures or couple pictures on Han paper.

First of all, we hope to make money by printing customized pictures. On special day, we want to memorize all memory forever. In case of that, Han paper picture is appropriate.

Secondly, pictures printed on Han paper don’t change the color in all time. Han paper is made by Koreans tradition so it is tough. The color doesn’t change for all time because ink is permeated into the Han paper.

Finally, we can not only spread out our Korea’s paper but also introduce Korea’s tradition and culture.

To become successful, we need to advertise to tourists , a family, a newly met couple. We plan to distribute a photo bookmark printed on Han paper. Also, we have a plan which is to make customized website. In this website, we can print out any picture or any size whatever you want

Thank you for listening

Great idea. I love that you are giving out bookmarks as a way to advertise!

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Jeongjin H.
Business plan
I plan to open a embroidery shop which called 'Jini's stich home'.
My plan is to teach lots of stich skills to people and sells my works.
The first thing, l would like to teach stich skills at home.
Simultaneously I will set up my blog on the internet.
In order to do this I need to make many works that people can look at my works before.
Secondly , If I can gather quiet people I will open my own shop off line in my region.
Finally, I will open class which is called 'one day course'.
In one day course, people can make simple items for a day.
This point is differentiation comared to other embroidery shop.
Finally I can teach skills and sell my works on&off line.
To become successful, I need to develop teaching skills and make some pretty works.

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Our business is called 'A cup of flower'. I plan to sell flower&herb tea and coffee and also to give a relaxation to visitors.

This business has some differentiations compared to other cafe businesses. First of all, 'A cup of flower''s targets are elderly women and women in their twenties. These days many coffee shops target only young generation so there are so many take-out cafes appeared. But our business sell cups of flower and herb tea to give satisfaction to elderly people also. Secondly, we serve a cup of tea with a beautiful flower. So customers can enjoy visual things as well as tastes. Finally, I plan to sell other products such as dry flower postcards, diffusers, various teabags to customers.

To become successful, we need to decorate interior for perfect mood and serve fresh  cups of tea and flowers to customers. In order to do this, we need a large budget. Around 10 million won will be needed at the beginning of the business.

What a brilliant idea! Best of luck!

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Our business is called "We don't need to eat". Our idea is to make very nutritious powders which can be easily mixed with a glass of water and be a special meal. We plan to manufacture them by healthy ingredients like soybeans and make them contain essential nutrients. Our business is targeted at people like office workers or students who don't have time to cook and eat food.
Our products will be different because it has enough calories unlike other dietary supplements. We're going to make two types of products, for women and men.
For women, it will have about 300 to 400 kcal and for men, it will have about 500 kcal through difference in quantities. Of course they will have different prices.
To become successful, we need ₩30,000,000(about €23,000) for four reasons. First of all, we should study and invent the products and to do that, we should request it to someone who has doctorate degree in Nutrition. Secondly we should test our products on different people. Thirdly we should buy ingredients for making products and materials for packaging products. Finally we should build a website  to advertise and sell products online. If we become successful enough to make a lot of profit, we will build a factory and run it for making and packaging the products. And we will accept customers' complaints or opinions to make our products better. Also we will study and create other types of products suitable for various characteristics of different people.

I think this is an amazing idea and would be great for busy students and business people!
Very well organised reasons!

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I travelled to Nagoya in japan in 2014 when I was a first year student of university. I just wanted to live in another country and identify if I can live on my own. I spent time in Nagoya for three weeks and most of time I stayed in guesthouse. Overall, it was memorable experience.
Though, there was a hard time. First of all, It was really hot and all days were sunny so I got sunburnt. And I was bitten by mosquitos so many times so my legs became entirely reddish and I couldn't stand that itchy. And I didn't have enough money for traveling, so in the end of the schedules, I had to starve and I had to stay nights secretly at my friend's dormitory. Last but not least, I felt lonely for the first time in my life.
However there were also delights. For one thing, I visited many significant places and a lot of summer festivals "Natsu Matsuri" and saw lots of good things like fire flower and traditional festival parade. For another things, I ate much various and delicious food such as ramen, karaage and ichigo ame. Lastly, I had so many opportunities to meet a lot of people and talk about lots of different things with them and learn from them. Also I could test my Japanese! Additionally, I walked a lot so I could lose my weight! ^^

What an amazing experience for you! I'm sorry you had to starve though!

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Hi! My name is Nicola Hannah.

I've been living in Seoul since January so I'm very new. I've also taught in Ireland, Vietnam and Slovakia.

I love travelling, nature, taking photographs, hiking and eating! I hate doing housework and being late.