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As a young learner in primary school I didn't find mathematics difficult. I was usually one of the more advanced students in primary school in mathematics, but remember learning a lot by rote. The methods and algorithms were taught and a full understanding of why they worked wasn't present. I just followed the instructions and didn't look deeper into 'why'. I remember everybody completed the same workbooks (before differentiation was used) and I completed the exercises quickly and found them easy (mostly).

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After leaving primary school I went to a grammar school (students took an entry exam to get into the school, and students were mostly academically gifted). I remember the first few maths classes in the school realising students were way more advanced than I was in maths and I went from being one of the top of the class in primary school to struggling in maths and being towards the bottom of the class. During my time in secondary school, maths no longer came easy to me and I had to really work hard to understand new concepts, study a lot to get average grades, and ask for a lot of help from my teachers. I still did OK in maths, however it was no longer 'easy' and I remember a lot of feelings of frustration and dislike towards the subject.

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After secondary school I did not do much more studying of advanced maths (A level or degree level maths). The next time I came to think about maths teaching and learning was when I was doing my PGCE (teacher training). I loved learning new methods for multiplication and division in maths lectures that I hadn't seen before, and was excited to implement them into classes.
I had a placement in a year 1 class where students were only 5 and 6, and enjoyed teaching early maths concepts. However, when I got placed in a year 6 class (10/11 year olds) I was maths anxious about teaching concepts I had not seen for years. I was even overwhelmed by their speed of doing times tables (I was out of practice and this scared me a lot). I was told by my mentor that maths teaching 'wasn't really my thing' and I was more adept at teaching English.

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In my first few years of teaching in the UK I worked hard to learn different methods, new games, problem solving and hands on activities , and realised that maths had become my favourite subject to teach, and that I was becoming good at it. I preferred teaching maths to any other subject and I got satisfaction out of seeing enjoyment and visible progress in my students.
When I moved to Mexico City and started working in an IB school my thinking about how maths should be taught was flipped around, with inquiry and project based learning, and use of UDL methods where students could choose their own methods and expression of their mathematical thinking. Now I teach only maths (no other subjects) to sixth graders and every year I learn something new, implement new projects, games, group work, materials, etc. and find the journey never ends.

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Three years go I undertook a Masters in Education, where the focus of my work was on maths anxiety. I had seen so many students suffer, and was interested in studying this for my thesis. Interestingly, my research took a turn when I noticed that many teachers in the school I worked in were also anxious about teaching mathematics. Many teachers thought they did not have the necessary skills, knowledge and training to teach their students effectively, and it made me relate to my own early teaching years. This led me to a position as a maths leader in the school I currently teach at, providing support with maths across the primary.