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This article talks about the importance of teaching consent to children and gives practical examples. What are your thoughts on these ways? Do you believe that if we successfully teach consent to our children that it will eliminate some instances of sexual assault? What are some other ways we can prevent sexual assault?

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5 everyday ways to teach your kids about consent.

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Sexual consent can be tough to explain to young kids. But this psychotherapist has some advice.

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Exiled for Reporting
This article discusses an instance in which a woman was exiled from her town for repeatedly calling the police on her abusive ex. What are your thoughts on the situation? Who was in the wrong? What would you have done if you were her?

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When Rosetta Watson, a black woman with disabilities living in Maplewood, Missouri, needed protection from an abusive ex-boyfriend, she did what she was supposed to do: She called the police. On four occasions between 2011 and 2012, she contacted local law enforcement, telling authorities that Robert Hennings hit, shoved and choked her.

Watson wanted relief from the violence. But instead, according to a federal the American Civil Liberties Union filed last week against Maplewood, she was evicted and forced to leave town for six months.

Under a local ordinance in the St. Louis suburb, more than two calls to the cops regarding domestic violence within 180 days qualifies as a "nuisance." Individuals who violate the rule can be evicted and lose their occupancy permit ― which is required to live in the city ― for six months.

Maplewood's city manager, Martin Corcoran, did not immediately return a request for comment.

For Watson, the repercussions were severe: After she was booted from her home, she lost her Section 8 housing voucher. Without it, she couldn't find an affordable home and ended up on the streets for a period of time. She eventually moved to St. Louis. But when her ex-boyfriend abused her again ― this time stabbing her in the legs ― she was too frightened to call the cops and instead went to the hospital by herself. The hospital called police, Hennings was charged, pleaded guilty to domestic assault in the third degree, and was sentenced to incarceration. He died in 2013.

The lawsuit the ACLU filed on Watson's behalf claims that the Maplewood nuisance ordinance violates the First Amendment right to petition the government for assistance, as well as the rights to travel, equal protection and due process. It comes on the heels of two other ACLU lawsuits that challenged nuisance ordinances, including one in in Norristown, Pennsylvania , and one in Surprise, Arizona . Both were filed on behalf of domestic violence victims and resulted in the repeal of the local laws.

Sandra Park, senior staff attorney at the ACLU's Women's Rights Project, said she's seen similar ordinances in over 30 states. They can result in serious consequences for domestic violence victims and their families, she said.

"Violence and crime can escalate, because residents stop reporting to police, and perpetrators are empowered to act with impunity," Park said. "Victims realize that reaching out to police will place them in more danger, not protect them."

The ACLU's lawsuit details Watson's four calls to Maplewood police that served as the basis of her eviction.

On Sept. 24, 2011, she called the police after she said Hennings struck her in the face with a closed fist. He was arrested for assault in the third degree, and police took photos of her lip. Two months later, on Nov. 8, 2011, she called police again to say that he shoved her. Hennings was arrested for assault in the third degree again. On Jan. 7, 2012, Watson told police she was afraid of him and wanted him to leave her home. Once police arrived, he did. On Feb. 22, 2012, she told police that Hennings was waiting at her home when she got there, and had refused to leave. He hit her and choked her, she said, and Hennings was arrested for domestic assault in the third degree once more.

A revocation order the city issued to Watson on April 10, 2012 stated that her repeated calls about domestic violence had put Maplewood police officers at risk, and she was ordered to vacate the premises by May 30 of that year.

But because of the city's decision to force her from her home, Watson was the one who was most endangered, suggested Erika Sussman, the executive director of the Center for Survivor Agency and Justice.

"Nuisance laws undermine critical housing protections for survivors, placing them in the dangerous predicament of having to choose between enduring physical abuse on the one hand or facing eviction and homelessness of themselves and their children on the other," Sussman said, pointing to a recent report her organization authored on economic security for survivors. "Such consequences are particularly acute for survivors of color and other marginalized communities."

Domestic violence is the third leading cause of homelessness for families nationwide, according to the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development.

Last week, Sen. Jeanne Shaheen (D-N.H.) reintroduced a bill that would establish a nationwide standard that victims of domestic violence and sexual assault can't be evicted or denied access to housing solely for being victims of those crimes.

While no one is immune from domestic violence, Sussman said, women living in poverty ― with annual incomes of less than $25,000 ― are nearly twice as likely to experience abuse and face significant financial barriers to safely leaving the relationship.

After Watson was evicted, her lawsuit alleges, she was afraid to call police even after suffering a brutal physical attack and has "severe and ongoing emotional suffering and mental anguish."

In a statement, Watson said she wanted to make sure other women did not suffer like she did.

"I thought calling 911 would help me stop the domestic violence, but instead Maplewood punished me," she said in a statement. "I lost my home, my community, and my faith in police to provide protection."
Melissa Jeltsen covers domestic violence and issues related to women's health, safety and security. Tips? Feedback? Send an Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) for the National Domestic Violence Hotline email or follow her on .

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A Missouri Town Exiled A Woman For Calling The Police On Her Abusive Ex

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When Rosetta Watson, a black woman with disabilities living in Maplewood, Missouri, needed protection from an abusive ex-boyfriend, she did what she was supposed to do: She called the police. On four occasions between 2011 and 2012, she contacted local law enforcement, telling authorities that Robert Hennings hit, shoved and choked her.

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This article provides evidence that fraternities, usually a source of sexual harassment, can use their influence for good. What do you think about this? How could AU do something similar, or should something similar even be done here? What can people do on an individual level to combat against rape culture and sexual harassment?

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College begins an exciting and often overwhelming experience for most students. Within a few weeks or months on campus, however, they usually settle in and begin to find their niche. For many students, that place is Greek life. For me, joining a fraternity, was a no-brainer. I was seeking to build a social network and become a more well-rounded individual.

It was during this time that I quickly learned more about the negative reputation of fraternities and sororities. On my campus, one fraternity was known as the "rape fraternity" because of its members' propensity to hook up with drunk girls. A sorority on campus was known for leaving their sisters behind at parties to be taken advantage of. Once, I was personally told how a member of a different fraternity had sexually assaulted a woman in a campus bathroom. At the time, I thought that this attitude and these experiences were normal, that it was just how it was. There were no outlets to talk about this culture on campus, especially among the Greek community.

Looking back on those years, I think about how I wish I had been able to speak up more about these incidents, or, at least, that I had understood the devastating consequences. I did realize that this reputation among the Greek community hindered our ability to be recognized for the great work we do in philanthropy and community service. Now that I know we can do more, we must do more.

Zeta Beta Tau - my fraternity, for which I now work as an educator in healthy relationships programming - over the last few years has pushed to help end this stigma and step up as a new voice in the movement to end sexual assault on campus. For fraternities in particular, we have the opportunity to show our campus partners that we can be allies in combating this epidemic on campus. Zeta Beta Tau offers educational opportunities to students on campuses worldwide, discussing safety for all people and encouraging Greeks to be role models in this movement:

Safe Smart Dating. ZBT hosts this workshop in partnership with Sigma Delta Tau Sorority and Jewish Women International (JWI) on multiple campuses each year. Facilitators lead a two-hour training that discusses sexual assault and dating abuse. We work with students to identify different types of abuse in unhealthy relationships, including sexual, emotional, physical and digital. Safe Smart Dating uses student peer discussion leaders to create a safe space for open, honest talk among participants.

Green Light Go. This is the philanthropic component of our campaign. Funds raised at this event go toward creating broader programming that encourages healthier, smarter relationships. In its simplest form, Green Light Go uses the child's game Red Light, Green Light to teach analogies for consent - stop, go, red light, green light. ZBT works with JWI to offer awareness and education events and curriculum surrounding each of these local fundraisers.

It's On Us. Zeta Beta Tau is heavily involved in facilitating the Greek community's involvement in this movement. We were invited to the White House in 2015 to meet with campaign leadership, and we have continued to lobby on Capitol Hill for top-down change.

Nothing makes me happier after leaving a Safe Smart Dating training than having brothers come up to me to thank me for exposing them to this issue and wanting to be a part of the solution. It has made me realize that Greek organizations can and will overcome the stigma of being the "rape fraternity" or the "easy sorority." We know we can be better and we are working day in and day out to change our reputations and make our campuses safer.

I am proud of the work Zeta Beta Tau Fraternity and our friends in the fraternity and sorority community do to combat these issues on campus. I look forward to the day where all people are treated equally and respectfully in their relationships and among their peers.

I look forward to the day where all people are treated equally and respectfully in their relationships and among their peers.

This post is part of a series produced by The Huffington Post and the National Sexual Violence Resource Center in conjunction with Sexual Assault Awareness Month. To learn more about the NSVRC and how you can help prevent sexual violence, visit here. Read all posts in the series here.

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Fraternities Can Be A Force For Good In The Fight To End Campus Rape

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College begins an exciting and often overwhelming experience for most students. Within a few weeks or months on campus, however, they usually settle in and begin to find their niche. For many students, that place is Greek life. For me, joining a fraternity, was a no-brainer.

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This article discusses whether or not a wife always has to say yes to having sex with her husband. What do you think? Is it so important in a relationship that she should never say no? If she were to say no and her husband were to coerce her, would it be considered sexual abuse?

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There's been some buzz about comments Michelle Duggar recently made when asked her advice to her newlywed daughter. Michelle essentially talked about the importance to make yourself available to meet the sexual needs of your husband and to do so joyfully. Michelle isn't the first to give this advice. Some Christian teachers and leaders have told women never to say no to their husband's sexual advances, no matter how tired you may be or how strained your relationship is.

I understand why women think this is biblical advice, but I also have some concerns about such broad sweeping recommendations. In order to unpack this issue, let's take a look at verses people most often point to when teaching the "never say no" philosophy:

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." (1 Corinthians 7:3-5)

This verse is essentially teaching two important concepts about sexuality in marriage: unselfishness in the bedroom and fighting temptation as a team.

Read more articles that highlight writing by Christian women at ChristianityToday.com/Women

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There's been some buzz about comments Michelle Duggar recently made when asked her advice to her newlywed daughter. Michelle essentially talked about the importance to make yourself available to meet the sexual needs of your husband and to do so joyfully. Michelle isn't the first to give this advice.

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Asexuality is a topic of human sexuality that is often grazed over. This article explains it and describes some common hardships for asexuals in society. What are your thoughts on asexuality in general? What are your thoughts on hardships they endure (e.g. "sex sells" culture)? How would you respond if a friend told you that they upheld this orientation?

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As someone from the New York area, I had a lot to learn about Southern culture when I moved to Nashville to attend college. It amazed me how certain things could be so much a part of my friends' lives, while I did not know anything about them. Here are ten things that Northerners just do not understand.
1. Chacos
These practical sandals seem to be popular because they are comfortable and somewhat of a fad. They are the go-to shoe for camp counselors, and to me seem like the Southern equivalent of Tevas. When I moved to the South, I was shocked to learn that there was such a popular brand among college students that I had never even heard of.
2. Sweet tea
This is very stereotypical but also very true. In every dining hall or fast food restaurant, you will find sweet tea next to the water and soda fountain machines. People from the South must feel very deprived when they travel up North, because I have never seen a sweet tea dispenser up there (although we do have a lot of iced tea).
3. Country music
This may be more relevant to the New York area than the rest of the Northern United States, but we do not listen to country music. We do not have country music radio stations, and it is just not a part of our culture. To me, country music is just another type of pop music to people in the South. They know the current singers and songs just from not living under a rock. I may be wrong, but down here it seems like not knowing any songs by Luke Bryan is like never having heard a Katy Perry song.
4. Hair curling
My mom raised me to believe that almost everyone looked prettier when they straightened their hair, but Southern girls would beg to differ. Like flat irons in Connecticut, every girl in Tennessee owns a curling iron, and it is the go-to tool for a formal night out. Just look at the beauty pageants...
5. Beauty pageants
Northerners can tell you the basics of a beauty pageant, but only from watching the Miss America finals or Toddlers and Tiaras on TV. In the South, it is not unusual for a girl to grow up competing or knowing others who compete in beauty pageants. I could figure this out just from the profile pictures in the Vanderbilt Class of 2017 page when I was admitted.
6. College football
People definitely care about college football in the North, but it does not compare to the fanbase in the South. Almost everyone has a college football team that they are passionate about, and they take precedence over MLB, NFL, and NBA teams.
7. Oversized t-shirts
Since I am very petite, I had a hard time adjusting to this one. Say goodbye to women's fitted t-shirts, because Southern sorority girls love to wear oversized mens-styled shirts, which go great with Norts (Nike shorts) or leggings. Comfort Colors is a popular brand, which causes you to see the same t-shirt colors over and over again.
8. Chick-fil-A
That chain known in the North for its homophobic CEO is known in the South for its amazing chicken nuggets, chicken sandwiches, and sauces. Chick-fil-A seems to be everybody's favorite fast food place. There is truly nothing else like it.
9. Monograms
Southern sorority girls love their monograms. In the North, a girl might have a monogrammed beach bag or piece of luggage, but in the South you can find monogramed jackets, boots, phone cases, necklaces, notebooks, and more. It is common to show off your own initials and your sorority's initials with your various monogrammed items. I have even heard a girl admit that she will make sure her future child has an attractive monogram before choosing her name.
10. Cowboy boots
It is true. Every Southern girl has at least one pair of cowboy boots. It is a staple in their wardrobes, as common as owning a pair of heels or sneakers. Northerners do not see how a pair of clunky boots could look good with a cute dress, but only a few weeks in the South can change their minds.

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As someone from the New York area, I had a lot to learn about Southern culture when I moved to Nashville to attend college. It amazed me how certain things could be so much a part of my friends' lives, while I did not know anything about them.

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Week Nine: Homosexuality and Children's Shows

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Week Nine: Homosexuality and Children's Shows

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The author of this article argues that homosexuality should not be included in children's television shows. Based on what we discussed in class on the roots of homosexuality, do you agree? If it is true that early childhood influences do not have as much of an effect on future homosexuality, does it matter that homosexual characters are included in these shows? Explain your reasoning to this in relation to the author's second point. Do you have any other thoughts on the topic?

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Prince Harry's royal wedding is officially over and there won't be another British royal wedding for quite some time now, as Prince George is way too young to start thinking about that. Fortunately, there are plenty of other countries with plenty of other princes that are still eligible bachelors at the moment. Lucky for you, I did my research and compiled a list of all the eligible princes you need to know about know that Prince Harry has tied the knot with Meghan Markle.

1. Prince Louis of Luxembourg (31)

Prince Louis is the third son of the Grand Duke Henri and Duchess Maria Theresa of Luxembourg. He has recently become a bachelor again after his separation with his wife of 10 years, Princess Tessy.

Fun Fact: He graduated from Richmond, The American International University of London with a BA in Communications. He can also speak Luxembourgish (the fact that's even a language is fun fact by itself), French, German, and English fluently.

2. Prince Sebastien of Luxembourg (26)

Prince Sebastien is the youngest child of the Grand Duke Henri and Duchess Maria Theresa of Luxembourg, so if you marry him, you'll probably never actually be queen because he's pretty far removed from the throne. However, he's relatively young and single, so best of luck.

Fun Fact: For some bizarre reason, this prince actually went to college in Ohio. He played rugby and graduated from Franciscan University of Steubenville in 2015. Now, he is back in his home country and is an officer in the Luxembourg Army.

3. Prince Phillipos of Greece and Denmark (34)

You read that correctly, Prince Phillipos is the prince of not one, but two countries. He is the youngest son of King Constantine and Queen Anne Marie of Greece and Denmark. Unfortunately, Greece abolished their monarchy, so he's a prince in name only there.

Like Prince Sebastien, Prince Phillipos also went to college in the United States. He earned his B.A. in foreign relations from Georgetown University in 2008. Fortunately, for us American girls, he is actually still living in the US and he works in New York City as an analyst at Ortelius Capital. Fun Fact:

4. Prince Albert of Thurn and Taxis (34)

Ever heard of Thurn and Taxis? No? Me neither. Anyways, Prince Albert is from the House of Thurn and Taxis, which is essentially a very old German aristocratic family. He is the son of Prince Johannes XI of Thurn and Taxis and Countess Gloria of Schonburg Glauchau. His family is well known for their breweries and castles, so unless you're gluten-free, you can't really complain.

Fun Fact: He's not just a prince. He's also a racecar driver and 10 years ago he was ranked 11th on Forbes Magazine's List of The 20 Hottest Young Royals.

5. Prince Mateen of Brunei (26)

Prince Mateen is basically like all the guys you already know, except he's royalty. He's the prince of Brunei, which is a small country on the island of Borneo, south of Vietnam. He is one of the five sons of Sultan Hassanal Bolkiah, and he also has seven sisters. Maybe that's a little different than the guys you know, but one thing he takes very seriously, just like most frat guys, is his Instagram.

Fun Fact: Mateen enjoys playing polo, flying in his private plane, cuddling cute wild animals, and keeping up his Insta game with 890k followers. You can follow him @tmski.

6. Sheikh Hamdan bin Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum of Dubai (35)

Sheikh Hamdan also has a killer Instagram with 6.3 million followers. Anyways, Sheikh Hamdan is the billionaire crown prince of Dubai and the second son of Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, who is the prime minister of the United Arab Emirates and essentially the king of Dubai (Emir). He's actually next in line for the throne because his older brother died in 2015.

Hamdan's hobbies include skydiving, zip lining, and diving, just to name a few, so if you're an adrenaline junkie, Sheikh Hamdan is the prince for you. Fun Fact:

7. Prince Hussein of Jordan (23)

Prince Hussain is the son of the extremely beautiful, Queen Rania and Abdullah II of Jordan and next in line for the Jordanian throne. At 23, he's already a second lieutenant in the Jordanian Armed Forces and he was the youngest person ever to chair a UN Security Council Meeting

Fun Fact: Like Prince Phillippos, Prince Hussain also graduated from Georgetown University in Washington D.C.. Also, like Prince Mateen and Prince Hamdan, he's Insta famous with 1.3 million followers and you can follow him @alhusseinjo.

8. Prince Constantine-Alexios of Greece and Denmark (19)

Like Prince Phillipos, Prince Constantine-Alexios also has two countries. Lucky for us though, he is also living in the US right now attending Georgetown University in Washington D.C. (like pretty much every other prince, amirite?) He is the oldest son of Crown Princess Marie-Chantal and Crown Prince Pavlos of Greece.

Fun Fact: He's Prince William's godson, so that's pretty neat. However, if that wasn't cool enough, you might like to know that this Greek/Danish prince was actually born in New York. Oh yeah, you can also follow him on Instagram @alexiosgreece where he has 88.7k followers.

9. Prince Joachim of Belgium (26)

Prince Joachim of Belgium, Archduke of Austria-Este is the third child of Lorenz, Archduke of Austria-Este and Princess Astrid of Belgium. Although he bears the title, "Prince of Belgium," he is also Archduke of Austria-Este, Prince Royal of Hungary and Bohemia, and Prince of Modena. Unfortunately, he'll probably never actually be king in any of these countries as he is ninth in line to the Belgian throne.

Fun Fact: Prince Joachim has degrees in economics, management, and finance, but he decided to join the Nautical School in Brugge after completing college and is currently an officer in the Belgian Navy.

Hope is not lost for all you girls dreaming of finding a Prince Charming that's literally a prince. After reviewing the data, my best advice is to transfer to Georgetown where princes are basically around every corner.

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Let's Leave Homosexuality Out Of Kid's Shows

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Prince Harry's royal wedding is officially over and there won't be another British royal wedding for quite some time now, as Prince George is way too young to start thinking about that. Fortunately, there are plenty of other countries with plenty of other princes that are still eligible bachelors at the moment.

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Week Eight: Gay Characters in the Media 

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Week Eight: Gay Characters in the Media 

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LeFou, Gaston's friend in the new Beauty and the Beast movie, is the first openly gay character in a Disney production. Apparently, he is confused about his sexuality and at the end of the movie, romantically dances with another man. Christians are upset about this being put into a Disney movie, and this article tells them to calm down. Which side are you on? Is this okay? How would you approach this situation if your own children were to watch the movie and notice?

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On March 1st my newsfeed exploded with angry moms. Our beloved Beauty and the Beast is GAY.

Well, not exactly. And perhaps that's where we should start. Is this a "Gay" movie? Or is this just another worldly movie made by worldly people with worldly agendas? Believe me, I'm upset, too. But there is an important difference here worthy of a second look.

Al Mohler, at the recent Shepherd's Conference, summarized this distinction well. He said there's a difference between culture being infused into a movie and a movie glorifying a particular sin. Gay characters will be the norm in movies from now on. That's the agenda. The question we should ask is: Does it glorify the sin, or does it discuss/portray an aspect of culture?

This is the culture God has appointed for us to raise our children in. We need to know how to live in it and interact with it. Our kids are watching us. Our response to this issue will shape how they live within this culture. As we respond to Beauty and the Beast there are two words that should not characterize us as Christian parents.

Naive
SEE ALSO: The Final "Beauty and the Beast" Trailer
If we expect the world to act Christian we will always be let down. Many are crying out, "How could Disney do this!?" Maybe instead our question should be, "What took them so long?" Disney is not a Christian company. Disney is acting exactly the way it is supposed to act.

I think deep down we hope the evil in this world will spare our kids. But evil is no respecter of persons. When we see Disney peddling homosexuality as normal it's like watching someone pass out candy-covered cyanide to children. We gasp in horror and say, "What's this world coming to?" But we already have the answer. God tells us that "the world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever." (1 John 2:17) For the Christian there are no surprises - only evidences of God's promises coming true.

We should be angry at sin, but never shocked. Shock means we got too comfortable here. It means we made ourselves at home in the enemy camp and we were offended when the enemy tried to kill us in our sleep. It means we have forgotten that we are "aliens and strangers." (1 Peter 2:11)
SEE ALSO: Beauty and the Beast Remake to Feature Disney's First 'Gay Moment'
Fearful

Have you heard about the gay character in Bambi? How about in The Lion King, Pinocchio, or The Jungle Book? These are just a few of the movies I have heard Christians crossing off their lists this week because of suspicious homosexual undertones.

We can train ourselves to see evil everywhere, but that is not the mark of a discerning Christian. It taints our joy and makes us fearful. This is still God's world. He created music. He created color. As discerning Christians we want to teach our kids how to take the good and leave the bad.
SEE ALSO: The Shack: Movie Stirring as Much Debate as the Book
So What Do We Do?

Christians can take comfort in the fact that a gay Disney character doesn't change anything. Thousands of years before Walt Disney was born King Solomon said, "There is nothing new under the sun." (Ecclesiastes 1:9) Sin has always been sin. Mankind's basic need for a savior is still the same. The hope of the gospel is still the same. And as God's people, our job is still the same as well.

Yes, Hollywood has an agenda - but so do we. If Hollywood is trying to indoctrinate our kids then we must indoctrinate them first. You must speak of God's word to your children "when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up." (Deuteronomy 11:19)

We must raise alien children - children who are not surprised by or afraid of this culture, but know how to impact it for the gospel. We have the beautiful privilege of praying for our kids what Jesus prays for us: "I do not ask that You take them out of the world, but that You keep them from the evil one." (John 17:15)

This article originally appeared on gospelcenteredmom.com. Used with permission.

Sara Wallace graduated from The Master's College, where she met her husband, Dave. They live in Idaho with their four sons. Sara stays busy homeschooling and writing about the daily effect of grace on motherhood. She is the author of The Gospel-Centered Mom Bible study and writes at gospelcenteredmom.com. Follow her on Facebook for daily encouragement!

Image courtesy: gospelcenteredmom.com & Disney®.

Publication date: March 6, 2017

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why christians can calm down about beauty and the beast

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Why Christians Can Calm Down about Beauty and the Beast

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On March 1st my newsfeed exploded with angry moms. Our beloved Beauty and the Beast is GAY. Well, not exactly. And perhaps that's where we should start. Is this a "Gay" movie? Or is this just another worldly movie made by worldly people with worldly agendas? Believe me, I'm upset, too.

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This article talks about a new male contraceptive gel, Vasalgel, that is supposedly comparable to a reversible vasectomy. Based on what we discussed in class on contraceptives, what are your thoughts on this new form? Do you believe that it will be successful, or do you think that contraception and pregnancy prevention will still ultimately be the female's responsibility?

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A male contraceptive gel has been found to work reliably in a trial in primates, bringing the prospect of an alternative form of birth control for humans closer.

The product, called Vasalgel, is designed to be a reversible and less invasive form of vasectomy and in the latest study was 100% effective at preventing conception. A blob of the gel is injected into the sperm-carrying tube, known as the vas deferens, and acts as a long-lasting barrier.

Previous tests in smaller animals showed the procedure could be easily reversed by flushing the material out with a simple sodium bicarbonate solution.

Catherine VandeVoort, of the California National Primate Research Centre and the study's lead author, said: "Men's options for contraception have not changed much in decades. There's vasectomy, which is poorly reversible, and condoms. If they knew they could get a reliable contraceptive that could also be reversed I think it would be appealing to them."

The Parsemus Foundation, a non-profit organisation that funded the work, said it plans to start a human trial as soon as funding is secured, based on the promising monkey results.

"One of the great things about the monkey model is that the male reproductive tract is very similar to humans and they have even more sperm than humans do," said VandeVoort. "Chances are, it's going to be effective in humans."

How Vasagel male contraceptive works

After decades of minimal progress on male contraceptives, a range of different approaches now appear to be showing promise. A World Health Organisation investigation, published last year, found that a male hormonal contraceptive jab was as effective as the female pill. However, scientists are still working to overcome unwanted side-effects including depression, acne and soaring libido that are linked to hormone-altering gels, pills and injections.

By contrast, the Vasalgel procedure does not interfere with sperm production and hormone levels in the body remain unchanged, meaning such side-effects are not an issue. As with a vasectomy, sperm continues to be produced in the testes, but rather than being ejaculated, it dissolves and is naturally absorbed by the body.

Unlike vasectomy though, in which the tube is snipped and the two ends cauterised, the Vasalgel procedure should be reversible, potentially making it an attractive option for a wider range of men.

"They wouldn't have to worry about it on a day-to-day basis," said VandeVoort. "This would be more akin to an IUD [the coil] in women."

In the study, published in the journal Basic and Clinical Andrology, 16 male rhesus monkeys were given injections of the gel and then returned to their group, which included between three and nine breeding females.

The monkeys were monitored for at least one breeding season and about half the monkeys lived alongside females for two years, during which time there were no conceptions and side-effects, such as inflammation, were minimal.

Angela Colagross-Schouten, lead veterinarian on the project, said: "We were impressed that this alternative worked in every single monkey, even though this was our first time trying it."

The same team are now hoping to confirm that the procedure is fully reversible in monkeys.
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Successful male contraceptive gel trial brings new form of birth control closer

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A male contraceptive gel has been found to work reliably in a trial in primates, bringing the prospect of an alternative form of birth control for humans closer. The product, called Vasalgel, is designed to be a reversible and less invasive form of vasectomy and in the latest study was 100% effective at preventing conception.

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This article interviews nine-year olds from several different countries on how they believe gender roles affect them. What is your opinion on what they had to say? Which example stuck out most to you? Why? If you could speak to these children directly, what would you say?

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This story appears in the January 2017 issue ofNational Geographic magazine.

If you want candid answers about how gender shapes destiny, ask the world's nine-year-olds.

At nine, a girl in Kenya already knows that her parents will marry her off for a dowry, to a man who may beat her. At nine, a boy in India already knows he'll be pressured by male pals to sexually harass women in the street.

At nine, youngsters from China to Canada and Kenya to Brazil describe big dreams for future careers-but the boys don't see their gender as an impediment, while the girls, all too frequently, do.

On the cusp of change, in that last anteroom of childhood before adolescence, nine-year-olds don't think in terms of demographic statistics or global averages. But when they talk about their lives, it's clear: Children at this age are unquestionably taking account of their own possibilities-and the limits gender places on them.

To get kids' perspectives, National Geographic fanned out into 80 homes over four continents. From the slums of Rio de Janeiro to the high-rises of Beijing, we posed the same questions to a diverse cast of nine-year-olds. Being nine, they didn't mince their words.

Many readily admitted that it can be hard-frustrating, confusing, lonely-to fit into the communities they call home and the roles they're expected to play. Others are thriving as they break down gender barriers.
What's the best thing about being a girl?
Avery Jackson swipes a rainbow-streaked wisp of hair from her eyes and considers the question. "Everything about being a girl is good!"
What's the worst thing about being a girl?
"How boys always say, 'That stuff isn't girl stuff-it's boy stuff.' Like when I first did parkour," an obstacle-course sport.

Avery spent the first four years of her life as a boy, and was miserable; she still smarts recalling how she lost her preschool friends because "their moms did not like me." Living since 2012 as an openly transgender girl, the Kansas City native is now at ground zero in the evolving conversation about gender roles and rights.

The grown-ups talk about it -but kids like Avery want to have their say too. "Nine-year-olds can be impressively articulate and wise," says Theresa Betancourt, associate professor of child health and human rights at Harvard University. They face increased peer pressure and responsibility, she says, but not the conformity and self-censorship that come with adolescence.

When asked the best-and-worst-things questions, Sunny Bhope-who speaks as his mother cooks rice over a charcoal fire, sending smoke through his small home near Mumbai, India-says the worst thing about being a boy is that he's expected to join in "Eve-teasing," his society's euphemism for sexually harassing women in public.

For Yiqi Wang in Beijing, the best thing about being a girl is "we're more calm and reliable than boys." And for Juliana Meirelles Fleury in Rio, it's that "we can go in the elevator first."
How might your life be different if you were a girl instead of a boy (or a boy instead of a girl)?
Jerusalem's Lev Hershberg says that if he were a girl, he "wouldn't like computers." Fellow Israeli Shimon Perel says if he were a girl, he could play with a jump rope.

If they were boys, Pooja Pawara from outside Mumbai would ride a scooter, while Yan Zhu from China's Yaqueshui village would swim in a river that her grandmother insists is too cold for girls. Because she's not a boy, Luandra Montovani isn't allowed to play in her Rio favela's streets, where she says the dangers include "violence and stray bullets."

Eriah Big Crow, an Oglala Lakota who lives on South Dakota's Pine Ridge Reservation, says in a near whisper that there's nothing that she can't do, because boys and girls are "exactly the same."

Eriah's claim might sound too optimistic to Anju Malhotra, UNICEF's principal adviser on gender and development. With respect to gender inequality, she says, "we're not seeing an expiration date for it yet"-but there is progress.

For global citizens under age 10, recent decades have seen more gender equity in areas such as primary school education access, says UNICEF's Claudia Cappa. But statisticians can count only "those who were able to survive," she notes, and "sex-selective abortions of female fetuses" persist in some countries.

Past the age-10 mark, however, the closing gap is replaced by a wide gulf. "Things change completely in adolescence," Cappa says, with "striking" gender gaps in access to secondary schools, for example, or exposure to early marriage and violence. "This is when you stop being a child," she says. "You become a female or a male."
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Lokamu Lopulmoe, a Turkana girl living in rural Kenya, says that when she grows up, her parents will "be given my dowry, and even if the man goes and beats me up eventually, my parents will have the dowry to console them." Some 300 miles away, in a gated community in Nairobi, Chanelle Wangari Mwangi sits in her trophy-filled room and imagines a much different future: She wants to be a pro golfer and "help the needy."

In Ottawa, Canada, William Kay confidently plans a future as "a banker or a computer, like, genius guy." Beijing's Yunshu Sang wants to be a police officer, "but most police are men," she says, "so I can't." In Selinsgrove, Pennsylvania, budding journalist Hilde Lysiak rides around her neighborhood on a silver and pink bike, hunting for news-all the while suspecting that a boy reporter might "get more information from the police."
What is something that makes you sad?
For Tomee War Bonnet, an Oglala Lakota, it's "seeing people kill themselves." What plants such thoughts in a nine-year-old's head? Her reservation's history of suicides, by kids as young as 12.

Mumbai's Rania Singla feels sad when her little brother hits her. Lamia al Najjar, who lives in a makeshift home in the Gaza Strip, says, "I feel sadness when I see [how] our home is destroyed"-a result of fighting in the area in 2014.
What makes you most happy?
High on this list: family, God, food, and soccer. And friends. Other answers give a flavor of kids' individual lives. One youngster loves powwows, another Easter eggs. For Amber Dubue in Ottawa, happiness is "room to run." For Maria Eduarda Cardoso Raimundo in Rio, whose parents are separated, happiness is "Mom and Dad by my side, hugging me and giving me advice."

Around age nine, Bede Sheppard says, children are "developing important feelings of empathy, fairness, and right from wrong." As deputy director in the children's rights division of Human Rights Watch, Sheppard has worked with child laborers, refugees, and other youngsters in dire circumstances. He says the most oppressed and disadvantaged can also be the most empathetic and selfless. Turkana herder Lopeyok Kagete dreams of giving away money and "slaughtering [livestock] for people to eat." Though Sunny Bhope and his family live in a single concrete room, the Indian boy aspires to "provide rooms to the homeless."

When nine-year-old girls and boys discuss themselves and each other, points of consensus emerge. Boys get in trouble more often than girls, both sides agree, and girls have to spend a lot of time on their hair. Such things are part of their reality-but much weightier matters are too.
If you could change something in your life or in the world, what would it be?
Rio's Clara Fraga would make thieves "good, so that they wouldn't steal." Abby Haas would free her South Dakota reservation of the "bad guys." Kieran Manuel Rosselli, of Ottawa, says he would "destroy terrorists." The grim content of some answers, and the grave tones in which they're delivered, give the impression of a miniature adult speaking, not a child. If she could, says China's Fang Wang, the thing she would change is "what it's like when I'm lonely."

The aspiration mentioned most often, across lines of geography and gender, was summed up by Avery Jackson. If the world were hers to change, she said, there would be "no bullying. Because that's just bad."

Between them, Geographic staff writer Eve Conant and photographerRobin Hammond worked with scores of kids on four continents to create this cover story.

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In Their Words: How Children Are Affected by Gender Issues

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This story appears in the January 2017 issue ofNational Geographic magazine. If you want candid answers about how gender shapes destiny, ask the world's nine-year-olds. At nine, a girl in Kenya already knows that her parents will marry her off for a dowry, to a man who may beat her.

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This article presents five "myths" dealing with transgenders and gender dysphoria in order to encourage skepticism of the topics. What are your thoughts on these "myths" ? Do you agree that they are myths or do you see some truth to them?

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On Sunday, the New York Times published an op-ed from Richard A. Friedman, Weill Cornell Medical College professor of clinical psychiatry, who asks, " How changeable is gender? " Though Friedman sets up his piece by discussing the biological underpinnings of gender identity and the experience of being transgender, he ultimately explains his "skepticism" about assisting transgender people to change their bodies to match their identities. "After all," he concludes, "medical and psychological treatments should be driven by the best available scientific evidence - not political pressure or cherished beliefs."

To justify his skepticism, Friedman distorts some studies and ignores others to arrive at conclusions that support his apparent biases against transition. Under the guise of medical opinion, he mimics the flawed talking points used by some of the biggest opponents of transgender equality:

The "Surgery Doesn't Lower Transgender Suicide Rates" Myth

After explaining quite sensibly why gender identity likely exists on a spectrum just like sexual orientation, Friedman then suggests that gender identity might be "malleable," setting up his doubt about "to what extent various strategies to change one's body and behavior to match a preferred gender will give people the psychological satisfaction they seek."

To answer this, Friedman claims "the data are all over the map." After dismissing the wealth of studies that have found positive outcomes for transgender individuals who transition as "suboptimal" because they were "observational and most lacked controls," he instead focuses on a study about suicide rates in Sweden often cited by opponents of transgender equality.

The study, he boasts, assessed suicide rates of transsexuals who had undergone transgender surgery "against controls." What he doesn't mention is that the controls were not transgender people who had not undergone surgery as one would expect, but in fact, the cisgender general population. "When the researchers controlled for baseline rates of depression and suicide, which are known to be higher in transsexuals, they still found elevated rates of depression and suicide after sex reassignment." All that the research actually shows is that surgery did not alleviate all mental health issues; it does not actually provide any information about the impact of that surgery.

Friedman also fails to mention that the mortality rate in the study was only statistically significant for people who underwent surgery before 1989. For all those who had their surgery after that (1989-2003), the increased mortality was not statistically significant. Though he briefly acknowledges the impact that stigma, discrimination, and violence might instead be playing, he brushes this possibility aside to assert, "The outcome studies suggest that gender reassignment doesn't necessarily give everyone what they really want or make them happier." The Swedish study, the only example he cites, suggests no such thing. In fact, the researchers say as much in a disclaimer: "No inferences can be drawn as to the effectiveness of sex reassignment as a treatment for transsexualism" because "things might have been even worse without sex reassignment."

The "Most Trans Kids Just Turn Out To Be Gay" Myth

Friedman then proceeds to talk about children and adolescents, for whom, he claims, "the experience of gender dysphoria is itself often characterized by flux." He cites research like Dr. Richard Green's study from the 1980s and a 2008 study by Madeleine S. C. Wallein from the VU University Medical Center in the Netherlands, which found that many young people who seem to express gender dysphoria grow out of it. "This strongly suggests that gender dysphoria in young children is highly unstable and likely to change," he asserts, acknowledging there's no way of knowing what causes the change.

But, he warns, the fact that not all trans kids persist in their identity should guide how parents respond. "So if you were a parent of, say, an 8-year-old boy who said he really wanted to be a girl, you might not immediately accede to your child's wish, knowing that there is a high probability - 80 percent, in some studies - that that desire will disappear with time."

There is nothing in these studies to warrant this dangerous encouragement for parents to reject their kids' identities. In fact, the studies suffer from major flaws that suggest otherwise. Kelley Winters, who studies and writes about transgender medical policy, explains that the criteria for diagnosing Gender Identity Disorder in Children (GIDC) are not particularly consistent. Many recent studies rely on diagnosing children "on the basis of gender nonconforming behavior, with no evidence that they identified as other than their birth-assigned gender." Thus, children who are actually distressed about their gender identity - the "persisters" - are grouped along with larger numbers of effeminate male-identified boys and masculine female-identified girls - the "desisters."

Thus, these studies might actually be proving the opposite of what Friedman wants them to. The fact that, in these overbroad samples of gender non-conforming kids, researchers do find persisters suggests that the benefit of the doubt ought to favor these kids who might actually be trans. After all, as this population has been studied more, researchers have learned that they actually identify as consistently and innately with their gender identity as their cisgender peers. Parents risk nothing by letting kids express themselves however they might, but could cause great harm by rejecting the identities of kids who actually feel distress over their gender. The "it's just a phase" stereotype, as Winters calls it, "has underpinned policies that keep gender dysphoric children in the closets of their birth-assigned gender."

The "Children Shouldn't Be Experimented On" Myth

Following up on his dangerous warning to parents, Friedman proceeds to express doubts about the treatment options available for young people. "Much can be done to help alleviate depression or anxiety without necessarily embarking on gender change," he suggests, focusing on the symptoms and not the problem.

Puberty suppression has become one of the primary ways of helping distinguish between persisters and desisters. This gives children the opportunity to continue exploring their sense of identity without suffering the permanent consequences of undergoing puberty as the wrong sex should they turn out to be trans. But Friedman isn't having it. "Puberty suppression is presumed reversible, and can be stopped if the adolescent's gender dysphoria desists. But the risks of this treatment are not fully understood. Even more troubling, some doctors appear to be starting reassignment earlier."

That's actually not true. The most recent research has found that puberty suppression is a "fully reversible medical intervention." The young people who choose not to undergo puberty had no health consequences and were able to successfully transition later. None in the study expressed any regret from the delay and most had overcome the mental health consequences related to the original onset of their gender dysphoria.

Friedman is adamant, however, that children should either not be trusted or humored when they express gender dysphoria. "But if anything marks what a child really is, it is experimentation and flux. Why, then, would one subject a child to hormones and gender reassignment if there is a high likelihood that the gender dysphoria will resolve?" He also takes umbrage that he might be expressing an anti-trans bias.

The "Maybe Ex-Trans Therapy Is Just Fine" Myth

"Clinicians who take an agnostic watch-and-wait approach in children with gender dysphoria have been accused by some in the transgender community of imposing societal values - that boys should remain boys and girls remain girls - on their patients and have compared them to clinicians who practice reparative therapy for gays," Friedman admits. "I think that criticism is misguided."

Instead, he believes that even though ex-gay therapy has been debunked as ineffective and often harmful, "there is no comparable data in the area of gender dysphoria." Since gender identity is fluid and there are so few comparative studies of gender non-conforming children, there's no way of knowing if discouraging that non-conformity is actually problematic.

Except, there is such research. The World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH), which sets standards for the health care of transgender people, has explained, "Treatment aimed at trying to change a person's gender identity and expression to become more congruent with sex assigned at birth has been attempted in the past without success, particularly in the long term. Such treatment is no longer considered ethical."

Dr. Simon D. Pickstone-Taylor similarly rejected ex-trans therapy in a 2003 letter to the editor in the Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, noting that such treatment is "something disturbingly close to reparative therapy for homosexuals." Even if children "become good actors," he explained, "this form of therapy only helps to reinforce the message that they get from society that their instinctual gender identification is fundamentally wrong. This further erodes their self-esteem and increases the psychopthology that is normally seen in these children."

Conversely, Pickstone-Taylor noted, children who are allowed to express their cross-gender behavior "grow in self-confidence, their comorbid symptoms decrease, and interestingly, extreme cross-gender behavior is reduced." This ironic last point reflects "children finally being treated in a truly supportive way" and "having the confidence to release their tight and preferential grip on their instinctual opposite-gender interests and behaviors and experiment with others."

Friedman has no research to demonstrate any benefit to attempting to suppress a child's gender expression. Still, he bases his skepticism for affirming transgender kids on the "best available scientific evidence." If he had actually cited that evidence in his op-ed, instead of disregarding it to support his own biases, he may have drawn a different conclusion.

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New York Times Op-Ed Encourages People To Be 'Skeptical' Of Trans Identities

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On Sunday, the New York Times published an op-ed from Richard A. Friedman, Weill Cornell Medical College professor of clinical psychiatry, who asks, " How changeable is gender? " Though Friedman sets up his piece by discussing the biological underpinnings of gender identity and the experience of being transgender, he ultimately explains his "skepticism" about assisting transgender people to change their bodies to match their identities.

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This article states that any given man places much of his self-value in his penis size (and shape). The author suggests that a larger penis equates greater masculinity. Where do you think this idea comes from? Is it true? If not, how can men combat the inadequacy felt by so many men? Also, note that the article was removed from PsychologyToday after two weeks due to controversy. Why is this topic so uncomfortable?

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Columns, Intelligent Lust

["Penis Envy" was published in February, 2012 on PsychologyToday.com and removed two weeks later after public controversy.]

The center of a man's existence is his penis. At the root of his self-worth is how he feels about the size of his penis and what he thinks about its ability to please his partners.

At least that is how many men seem to experience life.

As men, our relationship with our penises is a complicated affair related to our sense of power. For some, life is a dick-wagging contest, a competition played out in the boardroom, bedroom and on the playing field. The guy with the big dick proudly asserts his entitlement with authority while the guy with the small dick bullies co-workers and acts like a-know-it-all.

There isn't a man who hasn't compared the size of his penis to other men in the locker room or at the urinal, a sizing-up that leads to either a prideful smile or a sense of inadequacy. It's the shame, that's coined a catch phrase: "I'm a grower, not a shower."

One handsome, straight, young man told me, "Men think about their penis at least ten times a day."

How often have men worried if they are going to measure up, literally, when getting naked with a new partner's previous lovers? Will a grin or a smirk greet the bared private part? And when it's two men about to have sex, isn't there always that moment of anxiety when they wonder whose dick is bigger?

Then there's foreskin. Prefer cut or uncut? Do you want to change that ?

Of course, if a guy deals with all these size issues and actually starts having sex without a panic attack, there's always the matter of sexual performance nagging at him. Will he be able to sustain his erection? Let's face it. There isn't a man whose uncooperatively limp penis hasn't embarrassed him at some time during sex.

All of this pales in comparison, though, to the mortal fear of premature ejaculation or taking too long to come and boring, no pun intended, one's partner to death.

It's a wonder any man ever has sex.

A penis is tied to a man's sense of his virility. Beyond athleticism, job prestige or earning potential, the powerful penis is considered the true physical manifestation of masculinity. A man is supposed to spread his seed and have the proper tool to do it with.

Perhaps the anxiety begins in boyhood when, all too often, the first unforgettable penis comparison happens with a much bigger one - a father's or older brother's.

Into adolescence, popular films and shows like "Hung" and "Sex in the City," where attractive women vocalize their preferences for well-endowed men, doesn't alleviate the anxiety.

Watching pornography - as do most men - can set off alarm bells. The average human penis is about six inches long, but porn stars set the gold standard higher, at a whopping eight-plus inches.

The rationalization that "It's not the size of my penis that matters, but who I am as person" doesn't really seem to put the matter to rest.

To find out more directly what women think, I spoke with my daughter Alyssa, a fellow psychotherapist in Portland, Oregon, whose practice is largely female.

"Most men don't speak about their penis to their partner, so most women take it for granted that men don't worry about their penises until they come across the man who asks more than once for reassurance," she told me. "My male clients express their concern more about maintaining an erection or pleasing their partner at first, but then as they get more comfortable with me, they might acknowledge that size is a concern. There's isn't a man with whom I've discussed this who hasn't measured his penis and then gone online to see how his size stands up against others. I think the insecurity comes from a deep sense of male competition that's inbred in our culture. Most men fear that that they will not be able to attract and keep a mate. Will she will fantasize about another man and leave me for someone better endowed?"

Some female patients have told Alyssa their partners' sizes was not something they remembered except for those penises outside the average range. One woman said, "The really thick or really small ones are hard to forgot for different reasons, but, personally, I place more of an interest on our emotional relationship than on the size of his penis. When I see a nice one, I think it's a lovely bonus."

"I once had a patient who came to therapy," Alyssa said, "because he felt that his penis was betraying him. When faced with the opportunity for intercourse, his penis would rarely comply. He was erect during masturbating but limp when faced with the actual prospect of intercourse with a woman. Until the therapy progressed, he did not make the connection that his emotions influenced his performance. Instead, he thought his penis had a mind of its own.

"Some women envy men for their ability to become quickly aroused and reach orgasm, but most don't envy what Freud assumed: that women envy men simply because they have a penis.

"One women had the perfect rejoinder: 'Men can't fake it. We can. So we have the power.'"

My own patient Sam, 30, worried about the size of his penis for as long as he could remember. He felt ashamed and depressed because of it.

By the time he came to therapy, he believed his penis was shrinking. He measured it regularly, his findings showing daily fluctuations. On some days, it even grew. Yet this is what he told me: "Overall, the data proves it's getting smaller."'

I had once read about Koro, a culturally specific syndrome from Southeast Asia in which there's an overpowering belief that an evil spirit has the power to shrink a penis until it eventually disappears. But that was not quite Sam's case.

When I asked Sam about his sex life, he told me he was still a virgin, too shy and self-conscious to have sex. He said he masturbated excessively and wondered if that might be the cause of his problem. When I asked what he thought about when he masturbated, Sam told me that he fantasized having an enormous penis that every woman admired. Unfortunately, though, Sam's penis embarrassed him.

Naturally, the first thoughts I entertained were that Sam felt deeply inadequate and was metaphorically expressing his obsession with the small size of his penis.

But the truth was actually more interesting.

Sam's father, a warm and affable fellow, worked as a rabbi in a local synagogue. To earn extra money he served as a mohl in the religious ceremony called a bris, when baby boys are circumcised eight days after birth.

After performing a bris, Sam's father would make jokes at home. "That boy was hung like a horse. Not anymore!" Sam's mother, Paula, a math teacher, stifling a big laugh would reply, "Oh, Murray. How many centimeters?"

Sometimes in jest, his father would chase young Sam around the table with his "butcher's" knife.

Sam was a handsome boy who did well academically. But even his popularity in school didn't spare him some needling about his father's religious duty. Sam took it all very personally. He internalized the teasing and began to taunt himself. He focused his attention on his penis and increasingly lived in fear of losing it.

Obvious, right? But when you're caught in an obsessive spiral, it really is not so clear.

It took several sessions for Sam to make the connection between his past experience and present concerns, and when he did his family's sense of humor returned.

During the fourth session, I handed Sam a ruler and asked him to go into the restroom and measure his penis. "Four-and-a-half inches flaccid," he said when he returned.

I took the ruler and went into the bathroom to measure myself.

I came back and sat in my therapist chair. "You're bigger than I am Sam."

After a moment he said, with a hearty laugh, "I belittled it."

It was the perfect beginning to our therapy.

Now Sam could learn to have sex.

As for myself. I have an average sized penis that has certainly changed with age. Like every other part of my 67-year-old body, it has more wrinkles than it once did and works better sometimes than others.

But, of course, it has something that a younger penis does not have: years of experience and the wisdom that comes with that.

Double Header: For more on genitalia and their symbolic short-comings, turn now to Psychology Tomorrow review of " Unhung Hero: A Cultural Dictum " and cock-umentary by Patrick Moote, reviewed by Adam Neal.

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Penis Envy: How Size Influences Self-Esteem

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Columns, Intelligent Lust ["Penis Envy" was published in February, 2012 on PsychologyToday.com and removed two weeks later after public controversy.] The center of a man's existence is his penis. At the root of his self-worth is how he feels about the size of his penis and what he thinks about its ability to please his partners.

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This article discusses the DSM-5's classification of sexual dysfunction in relation to women's sexual desire. It suggests that women can "hack" their bodies to increase sexual desire and includes five tips on doing so. Do you believe this list is comprehensive or even accurate? Share your thoughts on "hacking" low sexual desire.

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Did you know that in addition to May being National Meditation Month, May is also National Masturbation Month?

Note: This post is rated "PG-13" so feel free to skip to the rest of the Bulletproof blog if you don't want to read it.
Guest post by Want to have more Bulletproof sex? When you read in The Bulletproof Diet all about learning to control your "Labrador brain," there are 3 elements that inhibit or enhance human performance the most: destructibility and fear; food and starvation; and sex and reproduction. If we don't include sex in the conversation about human performance we're missing out on one of the most critical pillars! That's why using biohacking techniques is important and something I've given talks about before. So I've invited my friend Alex, author of Women, Food, And Desire and host of The Crave Cast Podcast, to write about the female side of sex hacking: it's different for women, and let's face it, I'm not one! (I've written about the male side before). Check this out, it's well worth your time. -Dave Alex Jamieson, CHHC, CAPP
Ladies, and the ones who love them: there is an epidemic of lack that we need to talk about.

The lack of female sexual desire, that is.

According to the most recent Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, ( DSM-5, 2013), the American Psychiatric Association's classification and diagnostic tool, lack of desire[i] (classified as HSDD or hypoactive sexual desire disorder, or female sexual interest/arousal disorder) and the related anxiety it causes,is the most common of women's sexual complaints.

This can include a lack of sexual desire that causes distress, disinterest, and inability to achieve orgasm when orgasm was once easy. And orgasm, when accessible, is one of the best healing tools a woman, and a couple, can use to boost her vitality and health.

We want our desire back, and contrary to popular belief, a female viagra is not the answer.

You may think this epidemic is effecting older women, on the verge of middle age, but the evidence shows young women are just as susceptible to this crippling lack of desire. A broad study of 31,000 U.S. females 18 and older published in 2008 in Obstetrics and Gynecology magazine[ii], found that about 43 percent of women reported sexual problems. This lack of desire causes distress, and anxiety, as well as being linked with depression.

You can hack your life and body for more energy, weight loss, and boosted brain productivity.

Can we hack female desire? Can a woman naturally boost her libido and reclaim the juicy mojo associated with youth, vigor, and vitality?

In short, yes.

Yet women's desire is more complex than men's, requiring support, vulnerability, a trip to the health food store and sex shop, and possibly some blood testing.

Stress, depression and bad relationships can contribute to low libido but often diet, birth control pills or antidepressants, and outdated myths about what really turns women on are to blame.

1. Time to make over your medicine cabinet: How Birth Control + Antidepressants Can Cause Low Desire

The hormonal dance that is female desire involves more partners than your grandma's square-dance troupe, and is just as confusing as a caller's directions.

In broad strokes, here's how our reliance on hormonal birth control, antidepressants, and antibiotics is damaging female desire:

Birth control pills that contain estrogen and progesterone can be a root cause of low libido. These synthetic hormones diminish our pituitary hormones which result in the suppression of not just our ovarian function, which stops us from getting pregnant, but also testosterone production.

For women, sexual desire, being sensitive to sexual touch, and our ability to reach orgasm are all driven in part by our testosterone levels. When we experience a drop, it's hard to get hot.

German researchers published a 2010 study[iii] in the Journal of Sexual Medicine that found birth control pills significantly decrease levels of circulating testosterone, which, this woman can personally attest to, have a huge impact on sexual desire. The result is diminished interest and enjoyment of sex.

Some OB/GYNs will help guide their patients through a "drug holiday" to balance their natural hormone levels, which can take time and may result in mood and weight changes as your testosterone and other hormonal levels naturally increase.

Antidepressants can also mess with our hormones, causing more reason to panic.

The ironic fact that long-term use of SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) is linked to bleeding in the gut, which produces 90% of your serotonin, which has an effect on testosterone levels, and therefore our libido and confidence, would be funny if it weren't so horrific.

This cycle has women in a depressed, anxious state, where sex loses it's appeal completely, and we lose the ability to reach orgasm, one of the most healing and hormonally balancing mechanisms of the female body.

Some doctors will recommend trying a different antidepressant, reducing the dosage, or even eliminating their prescription to help their patients kick start their body's natural desire. This process can take time and lead to other side effects, and should be undertaken with great care and support.

I recommend getting a complete blood test array to check your hormone levels, and any vitamin or mineral deficiencies that could be underlying causes of unbalanced biochemistry.

If you've been diagnosed with IBS, leaky gut, SIBO, or any other gut or bacterial imbalance, healing your digestive system will go a long way in reigniting your desire. Antibiotic overuse has been shown to damage the gut lining, resulting in a decreased ability for this "second brain" to produce and store healthy levels of serotonin.

Hormones don't operate in a vacuum. Everything you do, think, and eat effects these building blocks of desire. Blood sugar, insulin, and sex hormones are more closely linked than most of us know.

2. Dessert Is Destroying The Female Desire:

Sugar kills testosterone:

Insulin resistance, caused by a diet high in refined carbohydrates including white flour, sugar, and alcohol, drives down testosterone in both men and women. Both sex drive and function (think erectile disfunction, which also effects the clitoris, not just the penis) take a hit when blood sugar levels are high.

Sugar saps your energy:

High-glycemic carbohydrates spike your blood sugar, leading to insulin over-production to pull your blood sugar back down. The roller coaster of low then high then low blood sugar results in fatigue, which is one reason why a big pasta dinner with wine knocks you out of the mood. High sugar consumption also leads to decreased orexin, a neurotransmitter that regulates arousal and wakefulness, which leads to fatigue, which leads to snoring, rather than snogging.

Sugar = stress:

Sugar is the most inflammatory food around, which leads to physical stress in every aspect of your body and mind. High insulin levels will elevate cortisol, a main stress hormone. Chronic high cortisol leads to muscle break down, fat storage, and squashed libido. Not a sweet picture, right?

3. Heal the roots of your hormone production = your gut + blood sugar:

Balancing your hormones could be as simple as changing your dinner plans. Food forms your hormones, metabolism, and ultimately, your desire.

Here are my top desire diet recommendations:

low glycemic, real foods: fresh veggies, beans, gluten-free grains, high-quality animal protein

low-sugar diet: choose fresh fruit over sugar and dried fruits, avoid fruit juices, and skip the booze for a few weeks

To repair gut health, improve serotonin production, and reduce anxiety, begin taking probiotics and eating naturally fermented foods, rich in wild probiotics:

To restart desire, you can't just work on the biological level, you must also rekindle the capacity of your mechanical and physical body.

Many women aren't as knowledgable about their body's abilities and geography as they need to be to fully own their libido.

4. Masturbation is a missing ingredient in your desire (and weight loss) plan:

Well, not JUST masturbation, but anything that brings you sincere physical pleasure that also balances your hormones. And arousal and orgasm are most easily achieved through masturbation, especially if you're single, or in a sexless relationship.

Why masturbation is a MUST for increasing female desire: According to the 2009 University of Michigan study[iv], orgasm helps the body release oxytocin, the "love + bonding" hormone, which in turn lowers cortisol,
the main stress hormone chronically elevated in many women (like me!) and lead to stress eating, and weight loss resistance.Higher levels of oxytocin makes us happy, which keeps those emotionally-triggered food cravings for sugars, cheese, and other "happy foods" at bay.

Too many of us feel only pain and dismay in our digestive and reproductive organs. In my book, Women, Food, And Desire, I tell the story of a client who wasn't dating, and wasn't masturbating. She had also been suffering digestion trouble for years, including bloating, gas, and constipation. I took her to Babeland, a clean, well-lit shop for sex toys in Brooklyn, and we talked with a knowledgeable staff member who helped her pick out her first non-toxic vibrator. After a couple of weeks of self-exploration, she noticed a marked difference in her digestion! She felt more relaxed and her digestion trouble had eased significantly. And she certainly had a nice spring in her step. Just start! Even if you're not an expert, and don't have your own personal red room of pain, your own digits are ready to help you begin at home. Oxytocin levels are usually increased simply through the physical stimulation of the clitoris, vagina, cervix, and breasts. So even if you don't reach climax, you'll still be releasing this powerful neurotransmitter.

Daydream, girl! Another study[v] reveals that sexy daydreams release testosterone in women - which means, when you read erotic fiction, or watch any kind of porn that excites you, your body will begin anticipating encounter, which naturally raises your libido. Babeland.com has some great options for the desire seeker.

For the low-libido woman, masturbation can help increase self-confidence in her body, the bedroom, and the boardroom. Whether due to religious beliefs or just closed mindedness, the facts from research by Hogarth and Ingham (2009)[vi] provide clear evidence for the connection between masturbation and a rise in women's self-esteem. Some of the findings include:

Women who frequently masturbate are more likely to have achieved a higher level of education, indicating more self-knowledge and less judgment about their body's desires and self-worth.

These women are more likely to pursue their personal and career goals, pointing to a higher level of confidence and resilience.

Women who masturbate regularly are more likely to be involved in a stable relationship.

5. Ending the outdated myths that block our rightful desires:

Since Eve picked that apple in the garden of Eden, women's bodies and sexual freedom have been the focus of contempt, subjugation, and emotional and physical restriction. Discriminatory laws, often based on religious arguments, are used to control women's bodies, reproduction, dress, and violate women's rights all over the world.

In short, it's scary, sacrilegious, and sinful to be a fully expressed, desirous woman. Even when we don't personally live in a culture that obviously restricts women's behavior, the knowledge is there, that to be a woman is dangerous, and sex is unsafe. So we shut our natural desires down in order to remain safe, stay connected to our family, religion, and culture of origin, and stay out of the dangerous "slut shaming" spotlight of our modern age.

In my book Women, Food, and Desire I detail the connection between our sexual desires, cultural pressures, our body confidence, and food habits.

Gender stereotypes have had the side-effect of badly shaping scientific research, and led researchers to mislabel female desire for centuries as more timid, focused on procreation above satisfaction, and designed for monogamy.

Female desire and sexuality is not the rational, civilized, limited force it has been made out to be. In fact, human and animal studies[vii] show that the female body and libido respond to a wider variety of visual and fantasy stimuli than males, and that we objectify, chase, and downright want sex in greater quantities than previously thought.

While female sexuality can be labeled as "more complicated" than that of the male of the species, what we now know about the interplay between nutrition, stress, the effects of prescription drugs, and cultural stigma, is leading to a revolution in removing the blocks between us and our deserved desires.

References:

[i] http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2971736/

[ii] http://journals.lww.com/greenjournal/Abstract/2008/11000/Sexual_Problems_and_Distress_in_United_States.3.aspx

[iii] http://www.webmd.com/sex/birth-control/news/20100505/birth-control-pills-put-brakes-on-womens-sex-drive

[iv] http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19138375

[v] http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21185838

[vi] http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2971736/

[vii] http://www.salon.com/2013/06/02/the_truth_about_female_desire_its_base_animalistic_and_ravenous/

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5 Steps To Hacking and Healing Female Desire

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Did you know that in addition to May being National Meditation Month, May is also National Masturbation Month? Note: This post is rated "PG-13" so feel free to skip to the rest of the Bulletproof blog if you don't want to read it. Guest post by Want to have more Bulletproof sex?

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In class, we discussed the "double standard" between men and women in terms of sexuality. Men are often praised for sexual acts, while women are condemned. This casual media article claims that this "double standard" will never go away. What do you think?

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Amber Rose attempts at breaking out of the box with her new found success with Zoobe, acting, shades wear line, and more is impressive yet it won't be enough to stop the world from seeing her as nothing more than a former stripper. It's the one thing people cling on to when recalling who a person is, based off of what they've done. For instance, take NeNe Leakes, our beloved Real Housewives of Atlanta breakout star. Ask anyone how she started and they will tell you, " Oh she used to be a stripper." As a former sex-worker, and ex-stripper I know how annoying it is that people won't and can't look past your past to see your new bright future but unfortunately, I don't see this changing much! It's as if your worth stopped at those things, and nothing and I do mean nothing will ever change their view about you. Actually, anything the public deems as a negative connotation as it relates to sex and your past will stick. Think I'm kidding? Well, look at Oprah! When people describe her accomplishments they will most likely always bring up the fact that she was sexually abused as a child. This is one reason women don't come forward with their past dealings as it relates to sex crimes or past history in the field of sex-work.

Women go on passing (the act of hiding their past) forever, because they don't want the stigma attached to them, and they don't want to be associated with "that" life. It's because society holds a woman's sexual exploits and past history against them. They find them less than, unpure, unclean, and unworthy? Isn't that silly?

In fact, a woman doesn't even have to have a sex work or a sexually abusive past and they slut shame and attack her. Take the singer Ciara for instance. This past weekend she got engaged to her boyfriend and instead of being happy that she found true love people attacked her (mostly men). They slut shamed her and called her everything but the child of GOD when she got with Russell Wilson and because she has a child with a rapper. She was involved with Future and it didn't end so well, so she moved on. The men called her whores, nasty, bitch, slut, etc. Now mind you this is her first child. Future? Well, he has three kids and three baby mamma s. I can't really find anywhere where they call him degrading names, insult, or slut shame him. Double standards much?

I have to agree with Amber Rose here when she stated that no one brought up Channing Tatum's stripper past. In fact hell, he recreated his life with the movie Magic Mike! Still I don't see people using his past as a tool against him, there is no slut shaming involved. Why? Because slut-shaming is a bullying tactic used against women. Men usually have extensive past sexual exploits but no one and I mean no one is going to say a damn thin about it. Is this fair? Hell no! Is it going to change? Hell no!

I commend Amber for challenging society with her slut walk, and speaking out. I for one am tired of the double standards that men and women have when it comes to past sexual exploits. There are men whose very lives have been aired out about their sexual trysts with a plethora of women. There are famous men who have been accused of rape and allowed to continue on with life as if the accusation never happened. These men are seen as nothing more than a playboy. They are applauded for plastering photos online while they are the patrons at the strip club making it rain. No one even bats an eye, they just chalk it up as the "bachelor's lifestyle."

A woman should not be defined by what she has done in her past. However, when a woman uses hypersexuality as a way to advance in society should they really be all that surprised when people bring up their past sexual exploits? Maybe people look past others past because they don't associate with it anymore? They aren't posting nude photos, or half nude photos online for likes then quickly yelling at people to let them be the forward living and thinking feminist that they are. When you live by hypersexuality it is a constant reminder of the past, I'm just saying.
Yes, every woman deserves to do what the fuck she wants to do, how she wants to do it. However, when you post your goodies online for the world to continually see, young children included people will form an opinion about you. Warranted or not. Remember, it's social media and they have rights just like you to post what they want. With social media all opinions matter do they not? It's their platform and they can utilize it however they deem fit, right or wrong. I mean be prepared for the repercussions due to your said opinions. But when you are in the media spotlight it just comes with the territory.

Take me for instance, I use my past as a platform to educate and raise awareness on the topics of sex crimes, sex trafficking specifically. But I'm in a different arena where my sexuality is a thing of a past, and I no longer associate myself with it. You won't find photos or videos of me twerking, or being hypersexual. I'm a different person now. However, I know that my past is still what people think of when they deal with me and you know what? I'm okay with that.

My dearest Amber, I know it's been 5 long years and you want people to get over it. But Muva, it's not that simple. Wishful thinking yes, but not so easy. As long as you have forgiven yourself for your past, and moved on that's all that matters. Stop worrying about what people think and say, keep twerking, wearing your sexy attire, and most of all being the bad ass bitch (her words not mine) that you are. Us forward thinking progressive feminists have your back. Us sisters who were in the life have your back. You are a success story and my dear, that's all that matters.

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Double Standards and Why It's Never Going Away

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Amber Rose attempts at breaking out of the box with her new found success with Zoobe, acting, shades wear line, and more is impressive yet it won't be enough to stop the world from seeing her as nothing more than a former stripper.

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This article outlines a perspective of openness to conversation about sex, a concept that will be important throughout our class. In it, the author explains how her parents taught her about sex. Do you agree with her that the topic was taught successfully?

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"Sexuality"is an electric buzzword in our culture, igniting opinions like wildfire. With clashing commentary from secular society, Christians in recent years have increasingly recognized the necessity of addressing the conversation in transparent and biblical ways. What was once taboo has become an issue preached from pulpits, discussed in media, and internalized in hearts.

Even more, the importance of this topic has been pressed on Christian parents. They've been urged to teach their children about sex, gender, attraction, and intimacy in a Christ-exalting space.

My parents are proof this can be done.

As an 18-year-old young woman, I believe my parents worked well at taking opportunities, inviting conversation, minimizing awkwardness, and prioritizing communication over my childhood and teen years to help me understand sexuality from a Christian worldview.

There were certain truths they impressed on me-some implicit and some explicit-that were crucial for catching a Christ-centered vision of sexuality. Five stand out most brightly when I reflect on the past 18 years.

1. Boys and girls are different.

This was a truth my parents taught from the time I was little: I'm a girl, and my brother is a boy. We're different by design, and there's unique and compelling beauty in that difference.

When you try to distort or ignore this truth, a sense of God-ordained loveliness is stripped away. There are certain things girls tend to think and feel and do that are different from what boys tend to think and feel.

This doesn't mean my parents robbed me of a personality. I used to play hockey and football with the guys. I also loved Tinker Bell and dress-up. But there were two core understandings that underlined my reality-my gender is a gift, and my gender informs my calling.

2. This is an ongoing discussion.

As I got older and became a preteen, my parents initiated more communication with me. It was age-appropriate, but my understanding of "the birds and the bees" developed over time, dozens of little conversations that popped up both randomly and planned.

I cannot recall sitting down and having "the talk" and that being the end of our discussion. Instead, I picture the countless conversations with my mom about so many things and her consistent honesty in the face of my questions.

3. Desire is normal.

And then I became a teenager, and things changed again. Enter hormones. Enter new feelings. Enter boys.

I remember Mom and I were reading a book together when I was 12 or 13, and there was a discussion question for moms to ask their daughters: "Do you have a 'crush' on any boys? If so, tell your mom."

I remember burning with embarrassment, but Mom was so gracious in my awkwardness. I wasn't made to feel ashamed. She told me those feelings were okay. God created us to be attracted to the opposite gender, and that shouldn't be squelched. But it should be controlled. Lust is sinful, and purity is virtuous, so the goal was to figure out how to embrace my God-given desires in a biblically framed way.

4. Sex is precious.

These days, as I get older and consider marriage and my future, it's the God-designed preciousness of sex that I think about more often. Sex, I've learned from my parents, is something to be esteemed without being glorified. While portrayed as a cheap commodity in culture today, God created it as a valuable gift. And it's a gift for a husband and wife in covenant relationship. Just the other day I read Tim Keller speak to this very thing:

Sex is God's appointed way for two people to reciprocally say to one another, "I belong completely, permanently, and exclusively to you." You must not use sex to say anything less.

Sex isn't inherently ugly or perverse. Christians of all people must believe that. In its God-ordained context, sex is beautiful.

5. God is the author of sexuality.

God invented it. He saw that it was good. He created gender and marriage. He created boundaries for the sexual act. And those were good, too. He alone is the foundation of healthy sexuality.

While my parents didn't try to "Jesus-juke" me in our conversations about sexuality, gospel implications organically weaved their way through. Talking to them about gender, attraction, sex, dating, marriage, homosexuality, transgenderism, birth control, bodies, and emotions pointed to the God who created me, the God who redeemed me, and the God who loves me. Honestly, that's what has contributed most to helping me form a biblical and healthy view of sexuality.

Deep Gospel Imprints

These five lessons imprinted themselves on me in big ways. Now that I'm at the age where these beliefs are my own, I look back with abundant gratitude to my parents for the gift of their communication and for the vulnerability of their transparency.

Since sexuality is from God, Christian parents cannot ignore talking about it. In the face of the world's constant lies, your kids need the truth. They need open discussion. They need biblical answers to tough questions. They need grace. Ultimately, they need the gospel.

And parents, it's your responsibility to give it to them.

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5 Lessons My Parents Taught Me About Sexuality

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"Sexuality"is an electric buzzword in our culture, igniting opinions like wildfire. With clashing commentary from secular society, Christians in recent years have increasingly recognized the necessity of addressing the conversation in transparent and biblical ways. What was once taboo has become an issue preached from pulpits, discussed in media, and internalized in hearts.