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During a guest research post at AMOLF soft robotics lab, i had many tensions... I was there to work in the lab, with specialised machines and processes that can produce different forms of soft robotics. In the lab were PhD, MSc interns and post doc researchers, all very kind and open to questions. The main tension I had was implimenting a creative process within the lab setting with a methodological infrastructure to produce discrete, linear experimentation and development. Entering and not knowing was, let's say, awkward. On the one hand, I didn't know what I would be making and on the other, I didn't entirely know what it could do - it was art afterall, it didn't need to do anything, but at the same time, I knew it could 'do' a lot, I just didn't know yet what... So the ambiguity of the artistic process within a physics lab was challenging. I noticed that I needed to be armed with specifics in order to engage with the lab environment, so I went deep into desk based research and read many many papers, which also didn't improve my making skills, and at the same time set high expectations for results. Specific results, that could be created through a structured process - and by reusing or improving existing methods and techniques to produce different uses/outcomes. Jumping in with 'stupid' (paper) prototypes and naive sketches was very difficult to embed within the aesthetics of the lab. The machine themselves were also small, the largest object I could produce would be about 10x10, cm not m...
So the tension was on the placement if knowledge - which I found in this context of amolf was clear from the start, became unclear / doubt, then was clarified (or rectified through conclusions) at the end. In artistic practice the knowledge part, seems to come through the engagement with materials and context, as an emergent principle, that is (perhaps) never finished. So not knowing in this context, gave tension!

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I am in the research space at KABK. It's stuffy. 5 of us looming around the awkward table. Each oversized with our bodies and our disciplinary baggage, our "practices" our identities, our right to be here on behalf of whatever "other," our justifications. Also at the table are indiginous Greenlanders, the Global South, women, people of colour. THere's barely room to fit my laptop. My hips ache from the angle they are thrown into by the stool I'm sitting on. The one that I had asked to be made of waste and has been made of waste ( composite of woodshavings from the wood workshop) and functions as a concept more than as a chair. The members of my research group are artists and designers. I want to be one of the group. I want us to work together collaboratively, seamlessly, for ideas to flow, for us to make one beautiful, arresting, rigorous contribution to climate justice. They each know their part. But what is mine? Am I just the glue? Why is writing so invisible? But, perhaps worse, what if they do accept me as an artist with a practice, and we do work together collaboratively and make one beautiful, arresting, rigorous contribution to climate justice? Where is the me in that? Will I dissolve into a mist of pixels?

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PAUL
the body in the score

>can we do this passage again?
this gesture, starting here
<is this what you want?
>you should start without any movement, that's why I wrote it like that
<it's impossible to keep the bow like this
> you can adapt
< (trying again) is this better?
>(trying to come up with a useful metaphor)
< (trying again) is this better?
> think it is a bouncing ball
< like this?
> can you give it a more 'rough' sound in the transition?
Give it an edge, some friction at the point of return.
< impossible to do this in one gesture
> let me show you (taking the viola in my own hands)
> (trying, failing, succeeding)
< (frustrated) but you have bigger hands!
> (actually she's right, didn't even think about this)
Now I see! Let's try something different. What do you propose?

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LIANNE

I am interested in bacterial cellulose, a slimy whitish material that is grown in a few weeks by microorganisms on top of very sugary tea liquid. When you take this material out after a few weeks and you dry this material, you get bio leather, one of the most beautiful materials I have ever seen. I am also trying to make my own conductive ink, with copper and graphite powder. This material research process is one of the most fun processes I have done so far. I have no clue where it will go though. One of my teachers sees my passion and directs me to one of her contacts of the Hybrid Form Lab in Amsterdam. A true lab of the Free University of Amsterdam where artists and scientists can collaborate on a wide range of subjects and materials. She thinks it's the perfect space for me.

So, here I am, sitting in the lab with my thick red artists notebook in front of me, waiting for (let's call him) Bob, a true scientist, a biophysicist. Can I use this lab as my artistic space for the next six months? It is my first time that I am stepping out of my 'artistic comfort zone', talking about my work to a real scientist. I am nervous, insecure and doubting whether I should leave or not. Do I know enough about microbiology at this point to actually do something 'useful' with this material? What is the added value of my artistic work for this lab? What is the end goal of my artistic process? Shouldn't I have all the answers by now?

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JED
I. The 'director' has taken all the singers upstage, they are in a huddle. This is being undertaken in order to exclude me, the music director, from the conversation...perhaps the 'director' believes he is creating intimacy amongst those who really matter. Perhaps he is still annoyed that I was so bold as to have had an opinion on the text of the opera I am conducting. That remark of mine, to which he had responded, looking at the singers, "well, ignore that", hangs in the space between my brain. Why had I chosen and fought for this particular opera, years before, in my dealiongs with the intendant? "Ah", says the resonance between my ears, that space in which the 'director's' remark hangs suspended, "you fought for this particular opera because you love the text, because you have been thinking about the text for years."

What is at play here, as the disciplines of contemporary theatre and historical music interact, is a distinctly modern power struggle, not between words and music (I am firmly on  the side of words), but between director and conductor. The tension is between 'past' and 'present'...but this is the 'director's' formulation. I would say that it is between understanding and ignorance. One can of course do anything one likes in art. I do not believe in moral imperatives to perform a piece of music in any particular way, out of reverence to its creator, to tradition or to audience expectations. However, I do believe that I as an artist want to take as complete an understanding of the art work in its original context as possible as a starting point for any artistic interaction. Moreover, a collaborative effort, as opera must ever be, should involve collaboration, and not powerplays. The 'director' has not attempted to win me over, nor to even suggest I might have input that could be of interest. This has soured me on interdisciplinary encounters.

II. The group online listens attentively, and responds thoughtfully. There is a sense of community. Shared ideas emerge. With less than 2 minutes left, the other member s of this group must fill in the blanks...but I can say my faith in interdisciplinary activities has been restored....

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THALIA
-Identify a tension
"I don't fit in" she said.
I listen, and the first thought that pop's in my mind is if this is my fault.
Danielle and I were driving back home from a meeting with the group. I think it was the fifth meeting we had.
Before I responded, I asked her to tell me more about that feeling. At the beginning I felt uncomfortable, trying to understand if there is anything the group "did" that made her feel this way, or maybe something I should have noticed during the conversation.
Slowly I realise it had to do with the use of language. Danielle said that she feels like the language she is using does not reach the group, and that many things in her practice she takes for granted feel as though she needs to rephrase.
At that moment of discussing how we use language, I realised that this was a significant part of what we were doing in the group: Unlearning how we articulate and understand each of our art practices in order to make them part of a conversation outside of our comfort zone. Or maybe not unlearn but look into how we grasp and speak out what we do as artist, and let this be open for conversation and change of perspectives.
It is getting late, our conversation, or post/meta dialogue ended with a small understanding of how discomfort is in the centre of interdisciplinary conversations

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WRITING EXERCISE: 15 minutes timed writing
-Identify a tension
Think of a specific moment of tension when you were engaged in an interdisciplinary encounter (related to your artistic research practice)

-Set the stage
Put yourself in that moment and place of tension.
Where are you?
What is the room or space like?
What sounds and smells are there?
What does it feel like in your body to be there?

-What is the scene
What is taking place?
What are you doing within that?
What are you doing and thinking?
What are you sensing and feeling?-

What are the encounters
What other people or groups are involved?
What is your position in relation to them and them to each other?
Is the tension observable or felt? Personified? Is it coming from outer forces or from inside you? An abstract concept? An existential crisis? Are the forces creating the tension coming from the past, present, or future?
What non-human actors are involved?
What relationships to place, politics, ethics, technology etc. are being enacted?
What do you feel is at stake?

Tips: Avoid speaking for other people. Focus instead on your own perspective. What you sense, feel, remember, worry about, speculate.

Start phrases with “I am…” (eg. I am in a rehearsal, I am in an IRG meeting, I am leading a workshop)

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VILNIUS DOCUMENTS

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What is the value of facilitating an exchange between artists/researchers from different disciplines/institutions? Based on IRG meeting reports and experiences of participating researchers.

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JUSTIN
-Identify a tension
I'm in a dance rehearsal. It's about a week into the project.  It's dark and quiet and there is a feeling of tension among everyone. 4 dancers, choreographer, lighting designer and me. I'm supposed to be "composing" the soundtrack, which is somewhere between music and sound environment. I have a feeling that no-one is talking the same language, and I'm also feeling cut off from the rest. I was asked (was i asked or was it my idea?)  to create a complicated system  for the performance. One where I can give or react to cues, where I can cue sound events which are expected and ones which are not - there is an element of improvisation. It is quite high-tech - which means I have to sit behind a computer screen, a mixing desk, etc. But right now this is cutting me off. The dancers are all from different countries, they mostly talk english with each other but sometimes there is an argument (maybe it's just a discussion) in norwegian, which I don't speak. But really I have the feeling that the language that i don't speak is the BODY LANGUAGE of the dancers / choreographer. I don't for instance always see a relationship between what the choreographer says to them, and the changes in their movement. Is it to do with being put in the (bodily, physical) position of the sound engineer (next to the lighting designer, who I don't really get on with very well i must say) and behind the equipment? I have a overview of the performance /audience space but I'm removed from it. I'm working with a virtual representation of the space on my screen and I can hear the result in the actual space, but it's almost like sitting in another room.

Then there's a moment where I realise that something (new) is expected from me, an impulse, something to push the dancers. (there is always a problem with expectations) and i know that I can't really give it. I don't FEEL what's needed. At this point I realise that it's not just my position in the room that's wrong but my whole approach. I should have just come with a drumkit or something. I need to be able to Physically make sound in the space - also for myself to feel some connection with what's going on.
(it never really got resolved in the end - never really happy with the result)

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LYNDSEY
-Identify a tension
During a guest research post at AMOLF soft robotics lab, i had many tensions... I was there to work in the lab, with specialised machines and processes that can produce different forms of soft robotics. In the lab were PhD, MSc interns and post doc researchers, all very kind and open to questions. The main tension I had was implimenting a creative process within the lab setting with a methodological infrastructure to produce discrete, linear experimentation and development. Entering and not knowing was, let's say, awkward. On the one hand, I didn't know what I would be making and on the other, I didn't entirely know what it could do - it was art afterall, it didn't need to do anything, but at the same time, I knew it could 'do' a lot, I just didn't know yet what... So the ambiguity of the artistic process within a physics lab was challenging. I noticed that I needed to be armed with specifics in order to engage with the lab environment, so I went deep into desk based research and read many many papers, which also didn't improve my making skills, and at the same time set high expectations for results. Specific results, that could be created through a structured process - and by reusing or improving existing methods and techniques to produce different uses/outcomes. Jumping in with 'stupid' (paper) prototypes and naive sketches was very difficult to embed within the aesthetics of the lab. The machine themselves were also small, the largest object I could produce would be about 10x10, cm not m...
So the tension was on the placement if knowledge - which I found in this context of amolf was clear from the start, became unclear / doubt, then was clarified (or rectified through conclusions) at the end. In artistic practice the knowledge part, seems to come through the engagement with materials and context, as an emergent principle, that is (perhaps) never finished. So not knowing in this context, gave tension!