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Cyber-bullying is bullying that takes place over digital devices like cell phones, computers, and tablets. Cyber-bullying can occur through text, and apps, or online in social media, forums, or gaming where people can view, participate in, or share content. Cyber-bullying includes sending, posting, or sharing negative, harmful, false, or mean content about someone else. It can include sharing personal or private information about someone else causing embarrassment or humiliation. Some cyber-bullying crosses the line into unlawful or criminal behavior.
The most common places where cyber-bullying occurs are Social Media, such as Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and Twitter, text message sent through devices, instant message, and email. With the prevalence of social media and digital forums, comments, photos, posts, and content shared by individuals can often be viewed by strangers as well as acquaintances. The content an individual shares online both their personal content as well as any negative, mean, or hurtful content creates a kind of permanent public record of their views, activities, and behavior. This public record can be thought of as an online reputation, which may be accessible to schools, employers, colleges, clubs, and others who may be researching an individual now or in the future. Cyber-bullying can harm the online reputations of everyone involved not just the person being bullied, but those doing the bullying or participating in it.

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MySelfie // Lesson 2  - What is Cyberbullying?

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NetSafe Episode 5: Cyberbullies are No Fun! (Grades 4-6)

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Cyber-bullying is bullying that takes place over digital devices like cell phones, computers, and tablets. Cyber-bullying can occur through text, and apps, or online in social media, forums, or gaming where people can view, participate in, or share content. Cyber-bullying includes sending, posting, or sharing negative, harmful, false, or mean content about someone else. It can include sharing personal or private information about someone else causing embarrassment or humiliation. Some cyber-bullying crosses the line into unlawful or criminal behavior. The most common places where cyber-bullying occurs are Social Media, such as Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and Twitter, text message sent through devices, instant message, and email. With the popularity of social media rising and digital forums, comments, photos, posts, and content shared by individuals can often be viewed by strangers as well as acquaintances. The content an individual shares online both their personal content as well as any negative, mean, or hurtful content creates a kind of permanent public record of their views, activities, and behavior. This public record can be thought of as an online reputation, which may be accessible to schools, employers, colleges, clubs, and others who may be researching an individual now or in the future. Cyber-bullying can harm the online reputations of everyone involved not just the person being bullied, but those doing the bullying or participating in it.
Psychological Impacts of Bullying
Unfortunately, the effects of bullying aren't temporary, but last long into adulthood, and vary depending on the role of the person in the bullying situation.
The Victim
The long-lasting psychological impacts stem directly from the short-term impacts that children experience as the result of being consistently bullied. Depression and anxiety tend to characterize their emotional outlook well beyond the bullying years, extending into their adult lives where they become chronic, sometimes lifelong, problems. These issues make eating, sleeping, working, exercising and engaging in interesting hobbies all the hallmarks of a full, balanced life more difficult. They also make it more difficult to make and keep relationships, whether with friends or romantic partners. This results in the bully victim's inability to trust himself or herself as a capable individual. In particular, this has effects during tough or difficult times, where the victim has been taught they are too weak or hopeless to persevere, and so they do not. This can have major repercussions for work, relationships and other trying life situations that require persistence and grit to overcome or succeed in. They also have difficulty trusting people, have reduced occupational opportunities, and grow into adulthood with the tendency to be loners. They make fewer positive choices and act less often in defense of their own happiness, owing mostly to the lack of perceived control instilled in them during their childhood bullying.
The Bully
Bullies often grow up to be unhappy adults. Their methods of relating to the world around them often don't work very well in adulthood, where quick tempers and violent actions are generally shunned by society. They may have difficulty holding down a job, retaining friendships and maintaining romantic or even family relationships. They may also be at greater risk for suicidal thoughts and behaviors, though this is more likely when they are bullied in addition to acting as a bully. However, most of the research that has been done has concentrated on the effects of bullying on those who get bullied rather than those who perpetrate the behavior, so reports are limited of the lifelong impacts on bullies themselves. However, it is indisputable that bullies are at greater risk for antisocial personality disorder.

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Bullying can affect everyone-those who are bullied, those who bully, and those who witness bullying. Bullying is linked to many negative outcomes including impacts on mental health, substance use, and suicide. It is important to talk to kids to determine whether bullying-or something else-is a concern.

Kids Who are Bullied

Kids who are bullied can experience negative physical, social, emotional, academic, and mental health issues. Kids who are bullied are more likely to experience:

Depression and anxiety, increased feelings of sadness and loneliness, changes in sleep and eating patterns, and loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy. These issues may persist into adulthood.

Health complaints

Decreased academic achievement-GPA and standardized test scores-and school participation. They are more likely to miss, skip, or drop out of school.

A very small number of bullied children might retaliate through extremely violent measures. In 12 of 15 school shooting cases in the 1990s, the shooters had a history of being bullied.

Kids Who Bully Others

Kids who bully others can also engage in violent and other risky behaviors into adulthood. Kids who bully are more likely to:

Abuse alcohol and other drugs in adolescence and as adults

Get into fights, vandalize property, and drop out of school

Engage in early sexual activity

Have criminal convictions and traffic citations as adults

Be abusive toward their romantic partners, spouses, or children as adults

Bystanders

Kids who witness bullying are more likely to:

Have increased use of tobacco, alcohol, or other drugs

Have increased mental health problems, including depression and anxiety

Miss or skip school

The Relationship between Bullying and Suicide

Media reports often link bullying with suicide. However, most youth who are bullied do not have thoughts of suicide or engage in suicidal behaviors.

Although kids who are bullied are at risk of suicide, bullying alone is not the cause. Many issues contribute to suicide risk, including depression, problems at home, and trauma history. Additionally, specific groups have an increased risk of suicide, including American Indian and Alaskan Native, Asian American, lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender youth. This risk can be increased further when these kids are not supported by parents, peers, and schools. Bullying can make an unsupportive situation worse.

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Bullying can affect everyone-those who are bullied, those who bully, and those who witness bullying. Bullying is linked to many negative outcomes including impacts on mental health, substance use, and suicide. It is important to talk to kids to determine whether bullying-or something else-is a concern.

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School violence, the threat of violence, and harassment continues to worry educators locally, nationally and internationally. Although violence exits in its rawest form, i.e., shootings, rape, kidnapping, and bomb threats; more passive and pervasive forms of harassment and/or bullying also exist.

As we know bullying is as old as civilization itself. It has taken forms such as intimidation for lunch money, a slap on the head, a skirt pulled up or pants pulled down, and that seemingly never ending sororities and fraternities use of "beatdowns." We all remember that one person or persons who made someone's life miserable on a daily bases at school; where a student literally lived in fear.

A new level of bullying has come over time with the easy accessibility of cell phones and computers. Cyber bullying, cell phone texting, and cell phone sexting have rapidly become more subtle and prevailing forms of harassment/violent acts within our schools and the lives of our private and public school children. Cyber bullying by federal and state statute definitions includes "bullying or harassment by use of any electronic communication device which can include but is not limited to email, instant messaging, text messages, blogs, mobile phones, pagers, online games, and websites" (Kansas Association of School Boards, Bullying Seminar, September 2008).

Although the most violent school acts and threats continue to receive media attention, (i.e., U.S. v. Lori Drew; Hazelwood School District v. Kuhlmeier; J.S. v. Bethlehem Area Sch. Dist.) cyber bullying and harassment via the cell phone continue to receive more and more media attention in the past two years. At the writing of this article there is an investigation into the suicide of a 15 year old in rural Massachusetts. Originally from Ireland and only in the U.S. for a few months, the freshman took her own life after being bullied in school and on Facebook.

Cyber bullying can be worse than the school yard variety because a cyber bully can hide behind unsigned attacks on social network.

Just as acts of violence ...jeopardizes the intent of the school to be free of aggression against persons or property...disruptions, and disorder (Center for the Prevention of School Violence, 2000, p. 2), cyber bullying and textual harassment are equally disruptive and threatening. In fact, cyber bullying can be worse than the traditional school yard variety because a cyber bully can remain anonymous by posting unsigned attacks on his/her online social network. Although Liza Belkin, 2010, was referring to parents of young children her comments are just as important in this text. She reports that "[the] anonymity of the Internet has a way of bringing out the harsh, judgmental streak in strangers who would never belittle another... in person."

Victims of cyber bullying are literally humiliated in a worldwide venue which can occur 24 hours a day. When bullied in this fashion, whether text or image, it is virtually impossible to get everything removed from cyber space. "The bully [is] spreading information on the Internet for anyone to see and that can affect someone's social life, especially how other kids at school view them. It can also affect the person academically because their lack of confidence will prevent them from contributing and asking questions in class," Louis Cobb, 2007. It has been reported that approximately 61% or more of the teenagers have a social network site and much of the cyber bulling occurs totally off-campus as sites such as MySpace.com, Xanga.com, or Facebook.com; and with no adult supervision or control. It is at sites such as these where hate messages appear, private emails are forwarded, embarrassing photos captured with cell phones are posted, and embarrassing polls are established.

A recent study of stalking via cell phones confirmed that 'stalking' by texting has become a pervasive problem.

In a 2007 PEW Survey completed by Amanda Lenhart, it was reported that "of the 12-17 year old teens surveyed 94% of teens go online, 89% of online teens go online from home, 77% go online at school, 71% go online from a friend or relative's house, 66% go online from a library, and 63% of online teens go online daily. Of those surveyed, it was found that 58% of online teens have a profile online." Additionally, it was reported that "32% of online teens have experience some form of online harassment, i.e., cyber bullying. Finally, it was reported that 32% of online teens have been contacted online by a complete stranger." The NSBA reported at their National Affiliate Webinar-3/12/07 that by some estimates, 50,000 sexual predators are online at any one moment; 89% of sexual solicitations occur in chat rooms and instant messages, 1 in 5 children are solicited for sex, and 25% of those solicited never tell their parents. A study conducted by UCLA psychologists and reported by Jeanna Juvonen in 2006, found that "75% teenagers were bullied online and of those bullied online, 85% also [had] been bullied at school."

A recent study of stalking via cell phones by the U.S. Justice Department's Bureau of Justice Statistics released in April of 2009 confirmed that 'stalking' by texting has become a pervasive problem. The report found 23 percent of stalking or harassment victims reported in 2006 that the stalker had used some form of cyber-stalking, i.e., texting or e-mail, to harass their victims. The report went on to say, "Technology has become a quick and easy way for stalkers to monitor and harass their victims." And to make matters worse, victims are charged 20 cents for each message received or sent, wanted or not, if they do not have a cell phone plan that include(s) unlimited texting. So how can we help students avoid technological forms of bullying and harassment? It is true that forty-six states now have anti-stalking laws that refer to electronic forms of communication. (National Conference of State Legislatures) But school personnel need to team with parents to inform, instruct, and protect today's youth. When adults or parents accept bullying or online harassment as an unfortunate stage that some children go through; the potential for those acts to become more violent tends to increase. So, we need to be proactive and work together to protect our children and insure a greater degree of safety.

When adults or those in charge tolerate teasing and bullying by not intervening, they send the message that hurtful words, hateful looks, or craftily surreptitious remarks are acceptable. The perpetrating students conclude by the adults' inaction that their behavior is sanctioned and that they have a right to treat others that way. (Johnson Institute, 1994) Sandra Williams, 2007, tells us to remember "what it was like to be a teen and horribly painful it can be when faced with public humiliation." Adults know that school violence is a complex issue with many and varied causes. Although the causes are often complex and varied, cyber bullying problems are systemic and will require a systematic effort to deal with them (Johnson Institute, 1994). One well accepted solution for creating a safe environment is a systematic approach that includes clear and comprehensive definitions and policies that strive to make students feel respected and protected. Many schools have developed both the definitions and policies, but little is done to continue the dialogue with our students. Too often, the policies become something that is 'simply on the books'!

Implications

The United Nations Charter of Rights for Children states in part that every child has the right to an education and the right to be free of violence within that setting. However, when asked, parents and students perceive online bullying and textual harassment as both common and prevalent. How then should school district personnel begin to tackle this serious on-going problem? Recent decisions by the Office of Civil Rights (OCR) Policy Guidance and federal courts specifically and clearly indicate that school personnel have a duty to create, implement, and consistently enforce policy which assists in the prevention, investigation, and elimination of sexual discrimination and harassment. The Supreme Court has clearly stated that a district is liable if those in charge

knew or should have known that the harassment was occurring,

failed to take immediate and appropriate corrective action, and

were deliberately indifferent to that which was occurring (OCR Guidance, 1997).

Suggestions/Recommendations

Having an anti-sexual harassment policy in place to protect students and employees as well as providing prompt and reliable investigation to complaints is commendable, but no longer enough. If school personnel are to respond appropriately when bullying and/or harassment complaints are brought to their attention or assist in the preventing of harassment, we must be proactive. The following are suggested as preventive steps:

Continue tell students that they must inform parents or school personnel of any and all harassment or bullying.

Inform parents of available services such as the web site sponsored by the Family Violence Prevention Fund, Ad Council and office of Violence Against Women that offers a textual harassment forum where teenagers trade advice and experiences with overzealous or unwanted texting or thatsnotcool.com which offers a e-mailable reply7 "callout cards" that offer a lighter approach to resolve what could be a serious problem. Additional cyber bullying websites include http://cyberbully.org, www.isage.org, and http://stopcyberbullying.org.

Inform parents and students of the punishable offenses of teen 'sexting', an increasingly popular phenomenon of nude or seminude photos sent over wireless phones. Utilize prosecuting attorneys, law enforcement, or judges to present the legalities and risks of 'sexting' or the sending of nude or seminude nude photos on their cell phones.

Encouraging parents to make it common practice to check test messages and pictures on their teen's cell phones and to contact law enforcement of threats of violence, obscene, harassing, stalking, or sexually explicit images of teens are found. All parties need to be aware that prosecutors are actively and carefully considering each case.

Inform parents of different types of monitoring software and filters.

Keep the public aware of security measures the schools have and are taking to block, filter, and monitor computer activity.

Keep parents and students informed of the myths and realities of internet-based sexual victimization (UNH2005 Youth & Law Enforcement N-JOV studies)

Discuss with parents and students the common effects of cyber bullying, i.e., skipping school, declining academic performance, and depression.

Encourage parents to contact the ISP (Internet Service Provider) and request assistance if cyber bullying happens.

Update student code of conduct to clarify that bullying by electronic means will be treated as seriously as traditional bullying

Implement routine maintenance and monitoring of computer use by staff and students.

As indicated in a 1998 U.S. Department of Education publication Early Warning, Timely Response: A Guide to Safe Schools, effective and safe schools are places where there is strong leadership, caring faculty, parent/community involvement, and where prevention and intervention programs are based upon careful assessment of student problems.
Dr. Clim Clayburn, Associate Professor, and Dr. Jerry Will, professor and department chair, work within the Department of School Leadership instructing those who desire to be either building or district office personnel. Prior to their positions at the Emporia State University, Dr. Clayburn and Dr. Will held administrative positions within the public school system.

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The Psychological Impact of Cyber Bullying

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School violence, the threat of violence, and harassment continues to worry educators locally, nationally and internationally. Although violence exits in its rawest form, i.e., shootings, rape, kidnapping, and bomb threats; more passive and pervasive forms of harassment and/or bullying also exist.

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Guidance for parents and young people on cyberbullying, including advice for ending (or preventing) the cycle of aggression. For a more comprehensive look, see A Parents' Guide to Cyberbullying .
For kids and teens

Know that it's not your fault. What people call "bullying" is sometimes an argument between two people. But if someone is repeatedly cruel to you, that's bullying and you mustn't blame yourself. No one deserves to be treated cruelly.

Don't respond or retaliate. Sometimes a reaction is exactly what aggressors are looking for because they think it gives them power over you, and you don't want to empower a bully. As for retaliating, getting back at a bully turns you into one - and can turn one mean act into a chain reaction. If you can, remove yourself from the situation. If you can't, sometimes humor disarms or distracts a person from bullying.

Save the evidence. The only good news about bullying online or on phones is that it can usually be captured, saved, and shown to someone who can help. You can save that evidence in case things escalate.

Tell the person to stop. This is completely up to you - don't do it if you don't feel totally comfortable doing it, because you need to make your position completely clear that you will not stand for this treatment any more. You may need to practice beforehand with someone you trust, like a parent or good friend.

Reach out for help - especially if the behavior's really getting to you. You deserve backup. See if there's someone who can listen, help you process what's going on and work through it - a friend, relative or maybe an adult you trust.

Use available tech tools. Most social media apps and services allow you to block the person. Whether the harassment's in an app, texting, comments or tagged photos, do yourself a favor and block the person. You can also report the problem to the service. That probably won't end it, but you don't need the harassment in your face, and you'll be less tempted to respond. If you're getting threats of physical harm, you should call your local police (with a parent or guardian's help) and consider reporting it to school authorities.

Protect your accounts. Don't share your passwords with anyone - even your closest friends, who may not be close forever - and password-protect your phone so no one can use it to impersonate you. You'll find advice at passwords.connectsafely.org .

If someone you know is being bullied, take action. Just standing by can empower an aggressor and does nothing to help. The best thing you can do is try to stop the bullying by taking a stand against it. If you can't stop it, support the person being bullied. If the person's a friend, you can listen and see how to help. Consider together whether you should report the bullying. If you're not already friends, even a kind word can help reduce the pain. At the very least, help by not passing along a mean message and not giving positive attention to the person doing the bullying.

Additional advice for parents

Know that you're lucky if your child asks for help. Most young people don't tell their parents about bullying online or offline. So if your child's losing sleep or doesn't want to go to school or seems agitated when on his or her computer or phone, ask why as calmly and open-heartedly as possible. Feel free to ask if it has anything to do with mean behavior or social issues. But even if it does, don't assume it's bullying. You won't know until you get the full story, starting with your child's perspective.

Work with your child. There are two reasons why you'll want to keep your child involved. Bullying and cyberbullying usually involve a loss of dignity or control over a social situation, and involving your child in finding solutions helps him or her regain that. The second reason is about context. Because the bullying is almost always related to school life and our kids understand the situation and context better than parents ever can, their perspective is key to getting to the bottom of the situation and working out a solution. You may need to have private conversations with others, but let your child know if you do, and report back. This is about your child's life, so your child needs to be part of the solution.

Respond thoughtfully, not fast. What parents don't always know is that they can make things worse for their kids if they act rashly. A lot of cyberbullying involves somebody getting marginalized (put down and excluded), which the bully thinks increases his or her power or status. If you respond publicly or if your child's peers find out about even a discreet meeting with school authorities, the marginalization can get worse, which is why any response needs to be well thought out.

More than one perspective needed. Your child's account of what happened is likely completely sincere, but remember that one person's truth isn't necessarily everybody's. You'll need to get other perspectives and be open-minded about what they are. Sometimes kids let themselves get pulled into chain reactions, and often what we see online is only one side of or part of the story.

What victims say helps most is to be heard - really listened to - either by a friend or
an adult who cares. That's why, if your kids come to you for help, it's so important to respond thoughtfully and involve them. Just by being heard respectfully, a child is often well on the way to healing.

The ultimate goal is restored self-respect and greater resilience in your child. This, not getting someone punished, is the best focus for resolving the problem and helping your child heal. What your child needs most is to regain a sense of dignity. Sometimes that means standing up to the bully, sometimes not. Together, you and your child can figure out how to get there.

One positive outcome we don't often think about (or hear in the news) is resilience. We know the human race will never completely eradicate meanness or cruelty, and we also know that bullying is not, as heard in past generations, "normal" or a rite of passage. We need to keep working to eradicate it. But when it does happen and we overcome it - our resilience grows. It's not something that can be "downloaded" or taught. We grow it through exposure to challenges and figuring out how to deal with them. So sometimes it's important to give them space to do that and let them know we have their back.
If you'd like to print these tips out, here's a PDF version. Please contact admin@connectsafely.org for permission to reprint or post.
© 2018 ConnectSafely.org
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Guidance for parents and young people on cyberbullying, including advice for ending (or preventing) the cycle of aggression. For a more comprehensive look, see A Parents' Guide to Cyberbullying . Know that it's not your fault. What people call "bullying" is sometimes an argument between two people.