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Comm Eye Health Vol. 13 No. 35 2000 pp 44-45. Published online 01 September 2000.

Communication and effective teaching

Detlef R Prozesky MBChB MCommH PhD

Professor of Community Based Education, Office for Community Based Education, Faculty of Medicine, University of Pretoria, South Africa

The previous article in this series examined some important concepts related to 'teaching' and 'learning'. In this article we take a short look at the role of communication in teaching. The article aims to make readers more aware of the importance of communication in teaching, and hopes to give some ideas of how readers can improve their own teaching.

Figure 1. Communication

Communication

What is 'communication'? According to the Concise Oxford Dictionary the word means 'the act of imparting, especially news', or 'the science and practice of transmitting information'. These definitions clearly show the link between 'teaching' and 'communication': teachers are cons tantly imparting new knowledge, or transmitting information.

Figure 2. Two-way communication

Hubley has shown us that communication is a complex process (Fig.1). At any stage of this process things may go wrong, making the communication less effective. For instance, the sender may not express what s/he wants to say clearly; or the room may be noisy; or the receiver may not understand the words the sender is using. To be effective, teachers have to try to mini mise these barriers to communication. We do this in a number of ways - for example, by making sure that the room is quiet and well lit; by speaking slowly and clearly; by only using words which the students should be able to understand. However, the most important way to overcome the barriers is two-way communication (Fig. 2). This means getting regular feedback from the receivers (the students in this case): are they really understanding what we are trying to put across?

Communication does not only take place by means of words; non-verbal communication (or body language) is equally important. We are all familiar with the different kinds of non-verbal communication (Fig. 3).

Figure 3. Non-verbal communication/body language

This kind of communication is usually subconscious - we use it without thinking about it; that is why we say that 'it is difficult to lie in body language'. If teachers really attend to the body language of their students they will know when they are bored or confused. From the body language of their teachers students pick up whether they are confident and enthusiastic.

Person-to-person communication: presentation skills

In the previous article we discussed different styles of teaching. Some teachers like to talk, and expect the students to write down what they say and to learn it (this style encourages superficial learning - and rapid forgetting!). Other teachers see their role as one of helping the students to learn at a deeper level - to understand new ideas and concepts so well that they can apply them in a work situation. Either way, these teachers will do a better job if they communicate well with their students.

An important element of communication in teaching is the use of teaching aids. We have all heard the saying: 'What I hear, I forget; what I see, I remember; what I do, I know'. Pictures, written posters and practical demonstrations improve communi-cation and we should use them as much as possible. Most of us have access to paper, posters, a chalkboard, or an overhead projector. We can use these to prepare aids for our lessons: summaries of important facts, or pictures and diagrams. The overhead projector is particularly useful, because it al lows us to face our students while using it.

How can I know whether I am communicating well as a teacher? Communication is a skill - and we improve our skills by getting feedback on the way we perform them. We can get such feedback by asking an experienced colleague to sit in on our teaching, and to give us feedback. We can also ask someone to record us on a videotape as we teach, which we then inspect critically afterwards. In either case the feedback will be better if we use a checklist to judge our performance. Fig. 4 gives such a checklist.

Written communication: handouts

Teachers communicate by speaking, but also by writing. We have seen how we can improve the overhead projector transparencies we use, if we write them carefully. The same is true of the handouts that almost all teachers prepare for their students.

What is a handout? It is not a photo copy of a journal article, or of some pages out of a textbook. Rather, it is a document which the teacher writes him/ herself. It may be a summary of important points to be learnt; or a guide to students on work they have to do, or references they have to look up. Teachers may use handouts for students to refer to during a lesson, and students will definitely use them in their self-study time. Because handouts are such an important way of communicating with students, they must communicate effectively. Fig. 5 provides a checklist which should help you to write better handouts.

These days many teaching institutions have websites where teachers put their handouts for the students to find. It doesn't matter whether the handout is on paper or on a website - it still needs to be well written.

And finally

All health workers need to communicate well, if they are to do their work well. Unfortunately, many are never taught how to do this. Teachers of health workers, therefore, also have to teach their students to be better communicators. We will learn more about this in the next article in this series.
About the style of presentation
Figure 4: Checklist for communication during teaching
About the content

Does the teacher speak clearly?
(loud enough; not too fast; faces the class; avoids mannerisms like 'um')

Is the teacher's non-verbal communication suitable?
(appropriate gestures and expressions; moves around; eye contact with whole class)

Does the teacher speak understandably?
(uses words that the students should be able to understand)

Is the speed of presentation right?
(the students must be able to absorb the material that is presented)

Is there two-way communication?
(the teacher checks regularly if the students have understood)

Is there evidence of a good relationship between teacher and students?
(teacher and students respect each other, listen to each other)

About the place where the teaching is happening

Does the teacher emphasise important knowledge?
(the main messages are clear and emphasised, unnecessary detail is left out)

Is information presented in a logical sequence?
(bits of information follow logically after one each other - easy to understand and remember)

About the use of teaching aids

Is the place conducive to good communication?
(enough lights; no noise from outside)

Are the students comfortable?
(adequate seating; students can see the teacher; not too hot/cold)

Are the teaching aids relevant?
(the aids only deal with the subject matter of the lesson, and clarify it)

Are the teaching aids well prepared?
(only contain highlights/main points; neat; different colours are used)

Are the teaching aids easy to read and understand?
(letters and pictures are large enough; not too much crammed onto one aid)

Are the teaching aids skilfully used?
(the teacher handles them with confidence; uses a pointer; does not mix them up)

About the content
Figure 5: Checklist for writing good handouts
About the style of writing

Does it emphasise important knowledge?
(makes clear what is important - the students don't know)

Does it present information in a logical sequence?
(information logically connected, so it is easy to understand and to learn)

Is it scientifically accurate and up-to-date?
(information is true, comprehensive, in-line with current thinking)

About the layout/presentation

Are the sentences short? (not more than 20 words; one idea per sentence)

Are active verbs used as much as possible? *
('feed children regularly' not 'children should be regularly fed')

Are the readers likely to understand the words?
(no jargon; using the simplest word that will say what you want it to say)

Is it legible/easy to read? (handwriting neat; roneo copies or photocopies clear)

Is it well spaced and not too full?
(a page crammed full of print is discouraging, boring, difficult to read)

Is it striking and interesting?
(different letter sizes; bold font used for emphasis; pictures or diagrams included)

* this is true for English - in other languages the passive voice may be clear and acceptable

References

1 Hubley, J (1993), Communicating Health. London: Macmillan.

2 Abbatt F, McMahon R. (1993). Teaching Health Care Workers, second edition. London: Macmillan.

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The previous article in this series examined some important concepts related to 'teaching' and 'learning'. In this article we take a short look at the role of communication in teaching. The article aims to make readers more aware of the importance of communication in teaching, and hopes to give some ideas of how readers can...

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To be a good communicator you need to actively listen

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To be a good communicator you need to actively listen

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Developing Effective Communication Skills: Journal of Oncology Practice: Vol 3, No 6

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Cohn suggests creating a setting in which "listening can be accommodating." For example, don't have a conversation when one person is standing and one person is sitting-make sure your eyes are at the same level. Eliminate physical barriers, such as a desk, between you and the other party.

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Body language is just as important as what is being spoken, at times can be more powerful.

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What is your Communication Style

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Which Of These Different Communication Styles Do You Use?

Communication styles define the ways we give and receive information. But do you understand your communication style? And how people respond to you?

Research and assessment identifies four different communication styles based on levels of emotion and linearity in how we give and get information: Analytical, Functional, Intuitive and Personal. But you need to know your own, and others', communication styles to become an effective communicator.

COMMUNICATION STYLES QUIZ

What's your communication style? Do you like communicating with lots of data or do you prefer to focus on feelings? Assertive communication or more passive communication? Do you like conversation that goes step-by-step or would you rather jump right to the end point? Take the Communication Styles Quiz now!

TABLE OF CONTENTS

It's time to really understand your preferred communication style and to learn how to flex outside of it to effectively reach audiences of all communication styles. We're going to dig deep into the different communication styles, but feel free to jump to any section that interests you:

No one style of communication is inherently better than another. But picking the wrong type of communication for a particular conversation or audience, whether it's one person or a thousand, can negatively impact how your ideas and messages are received. Building communication flexibility allows you to choose a different style to customize your message to the preferred communication style(s) of your audience and ensures that your message is heard.

Now that you have your communication styles assessment results and you know your preferred style, let's dig deeper into each of the four communication styles: Analytical, Functional, Intuitive and Personal.

Here's a quick overview of the four communication styles:

Intuitive communicators are unemotional and freeform. They want bottom-line communications that are short and to the point and that don't waste their time.

Analytical communicators are unemotional but linear. They want confident communications that convey expertise including hard facts and numbers.

Functional communicators are emotional and linear. They like to have control of the process, so give them process-oriented and linear communications that start at A, and then flow from B to C and all the way to Z.

Personal communicators are emotional and freeform. They want to establish an interpersonal relationship, so use emotional language in an informal, friendly and warm way that gets them involved in talking about factors including who else will be involved and how what you're asking them to do will impact their feelings.

Remember that no one communication style is inherently better than another. The key to effective communication is using the verbal communication style that best ensures your message will be heard.

One major philosophical difference that separates the four communication styles is the extent to which you communicate with emotions or with data. For example, would you say something like "I feel like we're off to a good start this quarter" (emotions), or would you say "this quarter, sales are up by 7.2%"(data).

Another major philosophical difference is the extent to which you communicate in a linear way (e.g. you like to start with A then B then C then D going all the way to Z) or in a freeform way (e.g. you like to skip over most of the details and jump right to Z).

Of course, there's a lot more to the four communication styles than just these two philosophical differences. But as a starting point, these are emblematic of the myriad ways that we like to communicate.Now let's take a deeper dive...

As an Analytical communicator, you like communicating with hard data, real numbers, and you tend to be suspicious of people who aren't in command of the facts and data. You typically like very specific language and dislike vague language. For example, when someone tells you that "sales are positive" you're likely to think "What the heck does positive mean? Is it 5.2% or 8.9%? Give me a number!" People who naturally prefer an Analytical communication style often have little patience for communication that includes lots of feeling and emotional words.

One big plus of having an Analytical communication style is that because you like communication to be fairly unemotional, you're often able to look at issues logically and dispassionately. This means others tend to see you as having high levels of data and informational expertise and they'll often consider you a deep thinker. You may also be called upon during intense decision making processes.

The potential downside of having an Analytical communication style is that you may strike certain people as unfeeling or that you possess an aggressive communication style. For example, when interacting with people like Personal communicators (who tend to like warm and chatty personal relationships) and may have a more passive communication style, it's possible for Analytical communicators to get irritated and terse or even become an aggressive communicator (because they're not getting data or hard numbers, etc.).

This sometimes has negative political and relational consequences. To avoid being seen as an aggressive communicator by your team members, try some pleasantly assertive communication and ask your colleagues, "I'm not sure I understand the specifics of what we're discussing, could we dive deeper into the data so I can get a better handle on this?"

As an Intuitive communicator, you like the big picture, you avoid getting bogged down in details, and you cut right to the chase. You don't need to hear things in perfect linear order but prefer instead a broad overview that lets you easily skip right to the end point. For example, some people, like Functional communicators, will tell you things step-by-step (they start with A, then go to B, then C, then D, then E, etc.). But this can drive you nuts; you'd rather jump right to Z.

One big plus of having an Intuitive communication style is that your communication is quick and to the point. You don't get stalled by needing too many details, and you're comfortable with big ideas and out-of-the-box thinking. Because you're good with thinking big, you can also enjoy challenging convention, which can be great for decision making especially when a group is stuck. It's common for communication styles like this to be seen as having an assertive communication style.

The potential downside of having an Intuitive communication style is that you may not always have enough patience when you're in a situation that actually requires getting into nitty-gritty detail (and you may risk missing an important point). Typically, Intuitive communicators have the most difficulty dealing with Functional communicators (those are the 'process-driven' people, they're very methodical, walk through things step-by-step, and like nitty-gritty detail).

Some people will view the Intuitive as having an assertive communication style (or even an aggressive communication style), and depending on the corporate culture, that may be seen positively or negatively.

As a Functional communicator, you like process, detail, timelines and well-thought-out plans. You like communicating in a step-by-step fashion so nothing gets missed. By contrast, there are some people, like the Intuitive communicators, who like to skip all the detail and just jump right to the end. But this can drive you nuts; especially when you think about all the important bits of information the Intuitive person is potentially missing.

One big plus of having a Functional communication style is that your communication generally hits all the details and nothing gets missed. When you're on a team, people will often turn to you to be the implementer, because they have confidence in your love of process and detail. And because you're focused on things like process and detail, you're the person who is typically asked to play devil's advocate.

The potential downside of having a Functional communication style is that you may risk losing the attention of your audience, especially when you're talking to Intuitive communicators (those are the 'big picture' people who skip to the end and don't get bogged down in too much detail).

As a Personal communicator, you value emotional language and connection, and you use that as your mode of discovering what others are really thinking. You find value in assessing not just how people think, but how they feel. You tend to be a good listener and diplomat, you can smooth over conflicts, and you're typically concerned with the health of your numerous relationships. If there's any communicator who's likely to ask about someone's personal life, it's the Personal communicator.

One big plus of having a Personal communication style is that your communication allows you to build deep personal relationships with others. People will often turn to you as the 'glue' that holds groups together. And you're typically able to pick-up 'vibes' or indirect communication that others may miss because you're attuned to the emotional intelligence aspect of communication.

The potential downside of having a Personal communication style is that you may occasionally be derided as 'touchy-feely.' For example, when dealing with Analytical communicators (people who like data, hard numbers, logical discussions, and dislike that 'warm-and-fuzzy' stuff), it's possible for Personal communicators to become exasperated and emotionally upset. Someone with a more assertive style might deride the Personal communicator as having a submissive communication style or even a passive communication style. But that's incorrect; the Personal style is simply more attuned to emotions.

It's a truism that different professions attract different types of personalities, whether on the frontlines or in leadership. And so too we should expect that different professions will appeal to different communication styles. As you can see in the chart below, drawing from the 1 million+ people that have taken the communication styles quiz, there are significant different across major professional groups.

It's probably not surprising that IT, Finance and Operations have far higher rates of Analytical and Intuitive communicators while HR, Marketing and Sales have many more Personal communicators. The real question is how to leverage this insight to increase our communication skill.

For example, if you're speaking with a group of finance leaders, you may want to prioritize the Analytical or Intuitive communication styles. But if that audience consists of HR or Marketing leaders, then you might prioritize a Personal style.

Tailoring your message to suit your audience does not make you a manipulative communicator. In fact, it's one of the most necessary communication skills. It makes you deeply empathic and high in emotional intelligence, with enough self esteem to recognize that people have different communication styles.

If you were a passive aggressive communicator, or simply lacking real communication skills, you wouldn't change your style to fit your audience. Instead, you'd use your preferred style, and then when the audience reacted poorly, you'd blame them for "not understanding you." But that's NOT what you're doing.

You're making an effort to reframe your message to increase the likelihood that other people understand you. And that's a deeply caring and smart gesture.

The first key to understanding others' preferred communication styles and whether they have a different communication style than you is active listening. You'll be listening to their language while also attending to their nonverbal communication, including their body language and facial expression.

Imagine you're having a conversation with a boss, colleagues or team members . Start by asking them, "what information could I share that would make this a great use of your time?" Each different type of communicator will answer that question differently. And you need that information to pinpoint each different style.

Someone with an Intuitive style of communication might say, "What's the bottom line?," or "Can you give me the short version of this?," or, if they're feeling a bit more patient, "Can we throw some ideas around?" The Intuitive person is an assertive communicator, but it's not done with ill intent. They have a more aggressive style simply because they're less patient and tolerant of long-winded communication.

An Analytical communicator will likely ask you questions about numbers or data like, "Where's your data from?," or "Are we sure that's correct?," or "How do we know?" Like the Intuitive communicator, they might strike some as an aggressive communicator; but it's merely a different communication style. It's not intentionally aggressive communication, it's just a quest for hard data rather than feelings.

Someone with a Functional style of communication might ask, "What's the process?," "What happens first?," or "Who does what?"

A Personal communicator will use far more feeling words, and might ask, "Who will be involved? " or "How do they/you feel?" As noted previously, these are not the questions of a passive communicator, rather they're the interests of someone more focused on emotional intelligence than data.

If for some reason you weren't able to start your conversation by asking "what can I share with you?," you can simply watch the other person's body language. If you start to see eye rolls, boredom, crossing arms, finger tapping etc., those are good signs that of the 4 communication styles, you chose the wrong one. So in that case, choose the opposite style, alter your language, and get your conversation back on track.

Having great communication skill requires interacting and speaking all 4 communication styles. And every leadership team and corporate culture will have a different dominant style. So you'll want to assess your audience, whether one person or a group, to determine which of the 4 styles of communication you're dealing with. Depending on which of the different communication styles you're dealing with, your conversation or presentation will require very different approaches.

It should also be noted that it's common for leadership communication styles to significantly influence the styles of frontline employees. After all, leaders will often set the tone and culture for their workplace, and that includes the ways in which people communicate.

How to avoid being an aggressive communicator

What's the secret to avoiding aggressive communication? First you'll need a dose of self awareness, and then second, you ask a question to get a sense of what someone wants to hear. Take a deep breath, make eye contact with your colleagues, and ask them, "What would you most like to hear about?"

Aggressive communicators often barrel into conversations thinking only about what they want to say, without giving much importance to what their colleagues, coworkers, client, etc. want to hear. Everyone has inadvertently used this aggressive communication style on occasion, but if we have the self awareness to admit the folly of this approach, we can correct it quickly.

To avoid aggressive communication, before you storm through the workplace saying whatever pops into your head, try this approach.

Depending on your particular situation, you could also ask, "What's the one thing you would most like to hear from me today?" or "What could I share with you?" Any number of variations will work, as long as you're letting your coworkers enter the conversation by telling you what they want to hear.

Aggressive communicators focus on what they want to say and give little importance to what their audience wants to hear. Don't be that person. A conversation requires two-way interaction; it's not a conversation when we talk and the other person is force to passively listen.

By simply asking what your colleagues want to hear, you can avoid misunderstandings, conflict, and confrontations. Far too many miscommunications stem from one person, usually under stress, blurting out a stream of anger filled words. But when you pause and invite your coworker to share what THEY want to hear, you instantly transform aggressive communication into a two-way conversation.

How to stop an aggressive communicator

At some point in your career, a person with an aggressive communication style is going to barge into your office and verbally unload on you with anger, stress, accusations, etc. You'll likely feel like you should respond by defending yourself and launching a counter attack, but that's actually the wrong approach. If you respond to an aggressive communication style by employing similarly aggressive communication, that will only inflame the conflict.

Instead, used these advanced communication habits. Breathe, make eye contact with that aggressive communicator, and say, "Wow, I think I need a second here." Then, after a 2-3 second pause say, "You sound really angry (or upset, frustrated, and so on).."

The first phrase signals to aggressive communicators that they've lost control, they're too angry, and that they're entering into dangerous (and even fireable) territory. Ironically, if you tell an aggressive communicator to "calm down" all that happens is they get even angrier. But when you say "Wow, I think I need a second here," you've essentially told that person that their utterance is so angry and outside the norm that you literally need to pause in order to absorb it.

How to prevent passive aggressive communication in your workplace

Passive aggressive communication occurs when we're not upfront with our team members and colleagues about what types of information we really need.

Passive aggressive communicators appear harmonious, but it's an artificial harmony. Beneath the surface lies a fundamental disagreement that the passive aggressive communicator is afraid or unwilling to share. In a culture filled with assertive communication, team members would openly share their issues and disagreements and nobody would experience the silent treatment.

In an organization where bad news doesn't get discussed and mistakes regularly get swept under the rug, or where there's a "kill the messenger" management style present, there's likely to be a great deal of passive aggressive communication. Everyone on the team may appear to be in total agreement, but that's only because they're afraid or reluctant to share what they're really thinking.

In a recent study on Executive Team effectiveness, we asked over one thousand senior executives to assess their team. And as you can see in the chart below, even on senior teams there is a sizeable amount of passive aggressive communication.

If you suspect your team suffers from passive aggressive communicators, you will have to intentionally "draw out" those passive communicators and push past the silent treatment.

Guided by a mindset of creating psychological safety, you'll need to help colleagues feel safe and comfortable sharing their disagreement.

One way to do this is in meetings (where passive aggressive behavior often occurs) by asking people: "What are we missing?" or "Where are we at risk?" To intensify this exercise, and develop advanced communication habits, make eye contact with each person on the team and, one-by one, ask each of them one of those questions.

The more you actively "mine for disagreement," the more you'll get passive communicators comfortable with sharing their dissent. And that's how you'll ultimately stop passive aggressive communication.

PRACTICE ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION

Assertive communication (aka assertiveness) is the genuine expression of feelings, desires, and needs. It occurs in the context of standing up for your personal rights, getting what you want, and standing up for yourself. Assertive communicators are able to honestly express personal needs and desires without limiting the rights of others.

An assertive communication style is considered a social skill, and requires the belief that one is as good as anyone else; that one's needs and desires are just as important as another's, although precedence can take place for one or the other at any time.

Some people are too passive ("He/she is more important than me" a lose-win) or too aggressive ("I'm more important than he/she is" a win-lose) instead of partnering in an assertive style for a win-win ("We're all equals here who deserve to be heard").

Assertive communicators believe that they have a right to be heard and have their needs met. That means if you're sitting in a meeting and you feel like nobody is listening to you or that you haven't heard the information you need, you shouldn't sit there and act passive on the surface. Instead, raise your hand, make eye contact with the people in the room and, in a measured tone, say something like, "There are some pieces I'm missing here, so I'd like to go back and revisit a few of these issues."

This will often require us to reframe some of our self-limiting beliefs. Beliefs like, "If I say no, he/she won't be my friend anymore," are rarely grounded in reality, yet we let them stop us from practicing assertive communication.

Disprove self-limiting beliefs with a quick self-audit that asks: "Is there a structurally sound counter argument to this belief?" A good counter argument might sound like: "If this person is pressuring me into doing something I don't want to do, are they even my friend in the first place?"

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Communication Styles Quiz: Which Of These Different Communication Styles Do You Use?

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Communication styles define the ways we give and receive information. Research identifies four communication styles based on levels of emotion and linearity in how we give and get information: Analytical, Functional, Intuitive and Personal. But you need to know your own, and others', communication styles to become an effective communicator.

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When to use different Communication Styles

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When to use different Communication Styles

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Are you struggling to connect with your partner in a positive and productive manner? Learning effective communication styles with another person can be difficult because we all have different personalities and viewpoints. There are multiple factors that influence how we interact with others. One of the most important factors you should be aware of is your communication style. There are four types of communication styles that are particularly important to look at. By the end of this article, you will have a basic understanding of the four types of communication styles; aggressive, passive, passive-aggressive, and assertive. You will also be able to identify if you practice any of the four types of communication styles and when. There are a time and place for all of the communication styles and it is up to you to understand when it is appropriate to use each one. Through our understanding and identification methods, you will be able to stop unhealthy communication in its tracks and build a newer, healthier style of communication for yourself.

Aggressive Communication Style:

Aggressive communication style is when you state your needs in a way that leaves less room for others who are involved and their needs. Aggression tends to come from a place of insecurity. The aggressive communication style commonly arises when you feel threatened, perhaps when you feel as though your best interest is in jeopardy. Aggressive people may come off as verbally abusive to others. Aggressive people may struggle to communicate with their partner because their hostility triggers their partner's fight or flight instinct and the need to protect themselves.

Here are some examples of an aggressive communication style:

Speaking in a loud and overbearing voice

Criticizing others

Using humiliation to control others

Attempts to dominate

Frequent interruption

"You" statements

Easily triggered temper

People who use an aggressive communication style may alienate themselves from others, confirming that they have something to be insecure about by producing fear or hatred in others. Not wanting to face these insecurities, aggressive people often struggle to take responsibility for their actions, which makes it difficult to learn from situations and get the support and love they are yearning for from others.

Choosing to use an aggressive communication style in certain interactions can be beneficial. If you're feeling taken advantage of or if you need to make sure you're seen, An aggressive communication style can be useful. For example, if you're up against a co-worker for a promotion, you may need to be aggressive to get ahead. Or, for children who tend to get bullied at school, they may need to show the other children that they are capable of handling themselves and they are not to be messed with. An aggressive communication style can also be helpful when exerting physical activity, like at the gym or in a race.

Passive Communication Style:

A passive communication style occurs when individuals tend to not express their feelings or opinions to others. People take on a passive communication style for various reasons. Sometimes it's to protect them out of fear of confrontation. Other times it's because they have a genuinely laid back personality and like to go with the flow.

People partaking in a passive communication style may have a higher tolerance for others' behaviors. A passive communication style tends to involve compromise more and allow the other person to have their way, sometimes leaving the person using a passive communication style feeling unfulfilled. For example, when your partner is having a bad day, you may choose to take a passive stance on an issue you're having with them. You may think to yourself, "eh, I don't need to bother them with this today, it will be there tomorrow", but tomorrow never comes. Or, if your friend has finally found someone they are connecting with, you may choose to tell them your good news next time as to not take away from their shining moment.

When encountering a perceived aggressive communication style, a passive communication style may find themselves agreeing when they actually disagree or have something to add to the conversation. Often times, the passive communication style is channeling the fear of confrontation and are working to avoid making the seemingly aggressive communication style more hostile. For example, if your boss is angry with you it can be best to be submissive and accommodating in order to keep your job.

Though at times using a passive communication style can be helpful to your relationships, consistently using this communication style can reinforce passive behaviors and send a message to those around them that their needs don't matter as much as others' needs. Continuous passive communication style may lead to suppressed emotions causing unhealthy interactions with others. Specifically, those people that the passive communication style has been passive with. Their passive nature may drive them to avoid that person. A passive communication style may feel voiceless, like they don't matter, or uncherished. They may eventually feel like they are being taken advantage of, that their partner "just isn't listening", or resentful to their partner because they feel the relationship is uneven.

Here are some examples of unhealthy passive communication style:

Failure to speak up for oneself

Speaking softly or apologetically

Poor eye contact and shrinking body posture

Allowing others' to consistently get their needs met over their own

Avoiding conflict at all costs

Ignoring situations that need to be handled sooner than later

When using a passive communication style has a negative effect, it may lead to feeling out of control, which can be anxiety provoking. Hopelessness or depressed thoughts may ensue. Due to the hopelessness or depressed thoughts, a passive communication style sees no point in asking for their needs to be met. In essence, taking on learned helplessness, which looks to the outsider like passive-aggressive communication style. The passive communication style is not asking for their needs to be met, the aggressive communication style is holding resentments.

Passive-Aggressive Communication Style:

Passive-Aggressive communication style appears to be a passive communication style, but behind the scenes, they are acting out angrily in indirect ways. People who develop this communication style tend to also have a fear of confrontation, leading them to indirectly dealing with difficult situations, which may look like they're being "sneaky" to others. Instead of directly asking for their needs to be met, passive-aggressive communication style will show their negative emotions in subtle, and often times harmful behaviors.

Here are some examples of a Passive-Aggressive communication style:

Subtle sabotage

Pretending to be cooperative, while subconsciously doing tasks incorrectly

Mumbling to themselves instead of confronting the person

Emotional withdrawal

Talking behind someone's back

Quitting unexpectedly with no explanation

Passive-Aggressive communication style experience a lot of the same negative effects that come with aggression and passivity. Short-term, a passive-aggressive communication style can be a much better alternative to acting out negative emotions such as rage. Frequently, a passive-aggressive communication style is subtle and may go unnoticed leading to a vicious cycle of conflict avoidance and conflict. For example, in order to relax after a hard day's work, a partner will come up with excuses that allow them to put off chores they promised they'd complete. In this situation, the partner is avoiding a potential fight they think will come due to putting off what they said they'd do. In a healthy interaction, if the partner directly states they are exhausted from their day, and they need a few minutes to unwind before they jump into chores, the other partner will be okay with this, and show them empathy. Instead, the avoidance of conflict will most likely lead to conflict, thus reinforcing that it is not safe to share their thoughts and feelings. The partner may have avoided a fight in the moment, but they didn't give their partner the chance to understand their needs and meet them. A passive-aggressive communication style often feels powerless, voiceless, and less than because they rarely get a chance to take ownership of their needs and appropriately address their issues in order to get the healthy support they want.

Assertive Communication Style:

Using an assertive communication style is the communication style that tends to be effective in most situations. An assertive communication style clearly and firmly expresses their needs and/or opinions without violating the rights of others. Assertive communication style entails being mindful of your own emotions and personal needs, while also taking into consideration someone else's emotions and needs. Since they are in tune with their needs and work to get them met, assertive people have the capacity to be empathic towards others.

Here are some behaviors of an Assertive communication style:

Expressing needs clearly, respectfully, and appropriately

"I" Statements

Active Listening- listening without interrupting and reflecting back what you've heard

Speaking calmly

Good eye-contact

Relaxed body posture

Feeling in control

An assertive communication style can be a tough skill to master because it requires a great deal of self-control. Emotions are what makes us human and they can get the best of us, which can happen when communicating. Intense emotions can lead to unhealthy interactions with others if unmanaged. Practicing mindfulness can be helpful in mastering an assertive communication style. An assertive communication style usually feels like they have control over their lives through taking responsibility for their issues as they arise. Therefore, helping people maintain healthy relationships, mental health, and overall well-being.

The first step to using an effective communication style is recognizing when it is appropriate to use each of these communication styles. Being honest with yourself and take responsibility if you realize that you are not always practicing healthy communication. By learning about these four communication styles, you will be able to improve your interpersonal skills and you will also be able to advocate for your needs the right way. Selecting a communication style is not easy and can be extremely nerve wrecking. Luckily, the more you educate yourself on the topic, the more confident you will become!

For more relationship and communication style tips, check out some of our other Better You Tips . If you find you're still struggling to communicate in a way that is productive and feels good, call The Better You Institute (267-495-4951) to set up an appointment with a trained therapist.

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Communication Style- Assertive, Aggressive, Passive, Passive Aggressive

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Tapping into the right communication style- assertive, aggressive, passive, passive-aggressive- at the right moment can help you create positive relationship interactions. Understanding what communication style you use at different times will enlighten you to recognizing, and then fixing hangups in your relationships.

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Communication Styles in Leadership Roles

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Communication Styles in Leadership Roles

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Leadership = Communication? The Relations of Leaders' Communication Styles with Leadership Styles, Knowledge Sharing and Leadership Outcomes

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Purpose The purpose of this study was to investigate the relations between leaders' communication styles and charismatic leadership, human-oriented leadership (leader's consideration), task-oriented...