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1.Read the 2 climatic scene of the same story

2.Work in groups and discuss which of the 2 scenes (Text A or Text B) is better and why.
3Type your group number before you type your discussion points

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Tom and Alison were walking along the corridor. The whole corridor was quiet and empty

Suddenly they heard a shout. It was Dan, the big fat bully. He stormed over. It was so loud because of the quietness. Dan and his gang clenched his fist and punched us. Alison avoided it but Tom got hit. There was blood. Tom started to cry

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Tom and Alison walked along the quiet and empty corridor to go to the canteen for recess

Suddenly they heard shuffling noises. They turned and their jaws dropped. It was Dan and his gang of bullies. Dan sneered at Tom and Alison.

The two friends turned to run but Dan shouted as he stormed over to them, “Hey, stop right there!” He glared at them and said, “Hand over your wallet.” When Alison and Tom did not, Dan clenched and raised his fist, ready to punch Tom. Smack! His fist landed on Tom’s nose. Blood dripped from Tom’s nose. Alison ducked in time to avoid the fist from one of Dan’s friend. Tom wailed and pleaded, “Please, stop.” Dan sniggered, “What a cry baby!” His friends laughed as they turned to leave.

That was when they saw the headmaster glaring at them.

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Tom and Alison walked along the quiet and empty corridor to go to the canteen for recess 
Suddenly they heard shuffling noises. They turned and their jaws 

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Tom and Alison walked along the quiet and empty corridor to go to the canteen for recess 
Suddenly they heard shuffling noises. They turned and their jaws 

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Group 1 Group Activity
Let’s Evaluate –
Tick the appropriate boxes if the group’s write-up contains elements in this success criteria and give some examples of them.
Success Criteria,Items,Examples
Show Not Tell – Action in Detail,ð Action words /,walked,stormed,punch,glared,smacked,ducked,turn…

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Group 1 Group Activity
Let’s Evaluate –
Tick the appropriate boxes if the group’s write-up contains elements in this success criteria and give some examples of them.
Success Criteria,Items,Examples
Show Not Tell – Action in Detail,ð Action words /,walked,stormed,punch,glared,smacked,ducked,turn…

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Group 1 Group Activity
Let’s Evaluate –
Tick the appropriate boxes if the group’s write-up contains elements in this success criteria and give some examples of them.
Success Criteria,Items,Examples
Show Not Tell – Action in Detail,ð Action words /,walked,stormed,punch,glared,smacked,ducked,turn…

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more_vert
Success Criteria Link
Success Criteria Link
 
https://tinyurl.com/P3-PlotDevt-

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Group 1 Group Activity
Let’s Evaluate –
Tick the appropriate boxes if the group’s write-up contains elements in this success criteria and give some examples of them.
Success Criteria,Items,Examples
Show Not Tell – Action in Detail,ð Action words /,walked,stormed,punch,glared,smacked,ducked,turn…

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Group 1 Group Activity
Let’s Evaluate –
Tick the appropriate boxes if the group’s write-up contains elements in this success criteria and give some examples of them.
Success Criteria,Items,Examples
Show Not Tell – Action in Detail,ð Action words /,walked,stormed,punch,glared,smacked,ducked,turn…

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Group 1 Group Activity
Let’s Evaluate –
Tick the appropriate boxes if the group’s write-up contains elements in this success criteria and give some examples of them.
Success Criteria,Items,Examples
Show Not Tell – Action in Detail,ð Action words /,walked,stormed,punch,glared,smacked,ducked,turn…

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Group 1 Group Activity
Let’s Evaluate –
Tick the appropriate boxes if the group’s write-up contains elements in this success criteria and give some examples of them.
Success Criteria,Items,Examples
Show Not Tell – Action in Detail,ð Action words /,walked,stormed,punch,glared,smacked,ducked,turn…

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Success Criteria Link
Success Criteria Link
 
https://tinyurl.com/P3-PlotDevt-Success-Criteria2 
 
more_vert

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Group 1 Group Activity
Let’s Evaluate –
Tick the appropriate boxes if the group’s write-up contains elements in this success criteria and give some examples of them.
Success Criteria,Items,Examples
Show Not Tell – Action in Detail,ð Action words /,walked,stormed,punch,glared,smacked,ducked,turn…

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https://tinyurl.com/P3-PlotDevt-Success-Criteria2

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We choose text B because there is more details and dialogues and is more elaborate than text A.

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Text B because it has more details , information and it is more exciting Plus it is interesting by the actions because of the punching and kicking and allows the reader to understand the story more and also describes the characters feelings.It also describes how the bullies told us to stop.Dan walked towards us for example the bullies  stomped towards them and clenched their fist getting ready to punch them.Then Dan

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Sarah,Elise,Ephraim,Sherwayn and Chloe.
Text B because it has better vocabulary , better details and good phrases to describe the story.There was also more speeches in the story. They also told us what happened in between the speech and when Dan hit Tom and Alison. They also told us the enviroment around them.

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ARMAAN,Nathanael.
We like text B because  it has more details and it describes the characters feeling and the plot. It also has a dramatic scene.

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We think Text B is better.Because there are more precise verbs , has more details and it is more interesting.When we read Text A, we feel bored,but when we read Text B, we feel more alive.
Meredith, Claryn, Kai Jun and Derron.

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We like text B better because it has more details in the text like the actions,feelings,vocabulary,good phrases,sound words and the writer elaborated.

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Text B .It has a better and clearer description. It has more details of what happened in the scene, has more dialogues, feelings and more elaboration than Text A .
Noah, Adam, Mabel and Roxanne : )

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We think text B is better because it has more elaborate  details and uses the show not tell technique it also has a better and  clearer description of what is happening than text A.I could feel the feeling of the characters clearly without any questions in
my mind so it makes the reader understand the text well.It also has very advanced vocabulary.

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Group 9 Myint Myat, Lorraine,Lemuel, Xu Meng

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Group 9 Myint Myat, Lorraine,Lemuel, Xu Meng

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i would prefer text B as there is more elaboration while text A is merely talking about what happened without elaborating. When i read text A, i feel bored as there is no further elaboration.  I ask a lot of questions,who shouted?what is it was so loud because of the quietness?  When i read text B, i get extremely interested as they describe further information.It can describe their feeling and  emotions. :P
sticking out the tongue if you look at it sideways.

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Text B is better because elaborates more on the story and have more details than Text A.Text b fullfils "show not tell".Text B is more interesting and has a clearer description.