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Friends two-part episode entitled "The One with Ross's Wedding"  deals with Rachel trying to sabotage Ross's wedding with Emily in London, by expressing her feelings for him. While using the "Other" theory by Mead, to distinguish the difference between the characters through culture and situation.

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GENERALIZED OTHER is a concept used by George Herbert Mead.

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Generalized Other is a special case of role-taking in which the individual responds to social gestures, and takes up and adjusts common attitudes.

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"Friends" The One with Ross's Wedding (TV Episode 1998)

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Directed by Kevin Bright. With Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc. Phoebe tries to help Rachel deal with her feelings for Ross as the rest of the gang head to London for Ross and Emily's wedding, while someone else unexpectedly shows up to the wedding.

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"Friends" The One with Ross's Wedding: Part Two (TV Episode 1998)

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Directed by Kevin Bright. With Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc. Phoebe tries to warn the gang that Rachel is coming to London to tell Ross she still loves him. Ross and Emily's parents get into an argument over the bill for the wedding. Monica and Chandler sleep together.

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FRIENDS - S05E01 - Ross tells the wrong name

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17 Things Friends Fans Never Knew About The One In London, Baby | CCUK

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"The One with Ross's Wedding" Transcript

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"The One with Ross's Wedding" Transcript

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Transcript of
The One with Ross's Wedding

Part 1 transcribed by Eric Aasen
Part 2 transcribed byAaron D. Miller

[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are getting ready for the flight to London and Monica comes running in.]

Monica: Guys, hurry up! The flight leaves in four hours! It could take time to get a taxi! There could be traffic! The plane could leave early! When we get to London, there could be a line at customs! Come on!! (She runs back to her apartment.)

Chandler: Six-hour trip to London. That's a lot of Monica.

[Cut to the girls' apartment, Monica is putting things into her purse as Phoebe and Rachel watch.]

Monica: Passport, check! (As she puts away each item, she says check.) Camera, check! Traveller's cheques, check!

Rachel: Who are you saying "check" too?

Monica: Myself. Y'know for remembering to pack a thing. Yeah, you do a good thing, you get a check! (pause) My mom does it, I never realised it was weird.

Phoebe: Yeah, my mom used to put her head in the oven. Well, actually, she only did it the one time. But it was pretty weird.

Ross: (entering) Hey!

Monica: Hey!

Ross: Hey! Are you ready yet?

Monica: Yep! You got the tickets?

Ross: Oh! Got 'em right here, (Pats his coat pocket) check!

[Cut to the guys' apartment.]

Joey: It's all London, baby! Here we go. (He takes a picture of a less than enthused Chandler and starts towards the girls' apartment.)

Chandler: You got your passport?

Joey: Yeah, in my third drawer on my dresser. You don't want to lose that.

(Chandler glares at him. At first Joey doesn't know why, it takes him a little bit to figure it out.)

Joey: Ohh!! (Runs to his room.)

Chandler: There it is.
OPENING CREDITS
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier, Monica is telling Phoebe where everything is.]

Monica: Okay, if you need the vacuum, it's in my closet on the left-hand side. Ah, the garbage bags are next to the refrigerator

Phoebe: Okay, okay, but Rachel's gonna be here too, can't I just ask her this stuff?

Monica: Yeah, okay, give that a try!

Chandler: (entering, with Joey) All right! Let's do it!

Joey: Woo-hoo!!

Ross: Yeah, cheerie-o!

Joey: London baby!

Chandler: Okay, 'cause that's not gonna get annoying.

Joey: (louder) London baby!!

Chandler: Hey, y'know what? I was wrong.

Ross: Well, we're all here! I guess we should get going!

Phoebe: Ohhh, I wanna come over there and give you a hug and wish you luck on your wedding, but I don't—can't get up.

Ross: Oh, I'll-I'll come hug you.

Phoebe: Great! Yeah, could you bring me the newspaper?

Ross: Yeah. (He does so and Phoebe hugs him.)

Phoebe: Oh, have a great wedding!

Ross: Thanks.

Phoebe: Oh, hey, Chandler I wanna hug you too!

Chandler: Hey! (Trots over)

Phoebe: Oh, and great! You might as well bring me my book, it's on the counter in your apartment.

Chandler: Oh. (Goes and gets Phoebe's book as Rachel comes in from her room.)

Ross: (to Rachel) So, we're off.

Rachel: Have fun!

Ross: Thanks! (They hug.) Ugh, I can't believe you're not gonna be there!

Rachel: Oh, I know.

Ross: So-so come! Why don't you come?

Rachel: What?!

Ross: To London! Come to London. Please? It'll mean so much to me.

Rachel: Yeah, well, I gotta work, I'm sorry.

Ross: Why-why can't you take a couple of days off?

Rachel: Because, I can't! Ross, I told you, no. I can't.

Ross: This is my wedding.

Monica: All right, y'know what? We really are late! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!!

Ross: Fine. You'll-you'll watch it on video when we get back.

Chandler: (entering, with Phoebe's book.) Here you go Phoebe! Here you go Phobo! Phewbedo! Phaybobo.

Phoebe: (laughs) Thank you.

(Chandler kneels down with his arms spread waiting for his hug.

Phoebe: Thank you. (She pats him on his head.)

Ross: All right, let's go! Bye, Pheebs!

Joey: Bye, Pheebs!

(They all start out, Rachel gives each one a kiss, and says "bye." In the hall, Joey says...)

Joey: London baby!! (And Rachel slowly closes the door, sadly.)

Phoebe: Oh, do you need a hug? You don't have to bring me anything!

(And with that, television history is made as, for the first time ever, an entire show moves it's entire production to an entirely different country to make a single episode. We get shots of Buckingham Palace, London Bridge, Big Ben, and the London Marriott as Joey and Chandler exit.)

[Scene: Street in front of the London Marriott, Joey and Chandler exit. Joey is carrying a video camera and is shooting Chandler.]

Joey: Come on! Do something!

Chandler: I am, I'm ignoring you.

Joey: Okay, here! (Gives him the camera.) I wanna be the on camera guy. All right, first stop, Westminster Abbey. (Joey folds out his "pop-up" map of London. All of the major landmarks pop-up like in a pop-up book.)

Chandler: Oh, what the hell is that?

Joey: It's London, baby! All right, the hotel's here. (Points to the map.) Wait. No, we wanna go... No. I know. (Sets the map down.) I'm gonna have to go into the map. (So Joey literally steps into the map.)

Chandler: Okay, if you see a little version of me in there? Kill it!

Joey: I got it! (Picks up the map and starts walking.) Here we go.

Chandler: Okay. Listen-listen, we're not gonna have to walk this way the entire time are we?

Joey: Shhh! (Pause) Man, you made me lose it! (He goes into the map again.)

[Scene: Another street, somewhere along the River Themes, Ross, Emily, and Monica are walking to where they're gonna get married. Emily is relating the troubles with the caterer.]

Emily: ...and that was all before 10 o'clock. The caterer rang and said it was going to be Chicken Kiev instead of Chicken Tarragon. And then the florist phoned to say there aren't any tulips. Oh, and the chilliest has carpel-tunel syndrome. We're not gonna be

Ross: Whoa-whoa-whoa! Emily, (Gives her the time-out signal.) honey, okay?

Emily: Well, up yours too!

Ross: What?! No! No! That's-that's time-out!

Emily: Sorry.

Ross: Sweetie, you gotta relax. Everything's gonna be great, okay? Come on. Come on.

Monica: Chicken Kiev?

Ross: Um-hmm! Doesn't that sound delicious at the last minute?

Monica: Yeah, y'know, but something like salmon which would be so much more elegant than the chicken. And, you wouldn't have to worry about the salmonella. (Ross pushes her.) So, I can't wait to see this place you're getting married!

Ross: Yeah. Yeah. Yes, this place is beautiful. Emily's parents got married here.

Emily: I still can't believe they're tearing it down. It really is the most lovely building you'll ever see. I mean it's over... (She stops suddenly, when she sees that demolition has already started.) Oh my God!

Monica: It's nice.

Emily: Oh. Oh. (She starts running towards the building.)

[Cut to inside.]

Emily: (running in, with Ross) Oh. Oh my God. How can this be happening? What are we going to do?

Ross: It's all right! Everything's gonna be all right.

Emily: How's it gonna be all right?!

Ross: Uh-huh, I see that.

Monica: (entering) Okay, I talked to the guy with the shovel and I found out what happened.

Ross: What? What?

Monica: They torn it down a few days early.

[Scene: Westminster Abbey, Joey and Chandler have successfully navigated the streets of London and are approaching the Abbey.]

Joey: All right! Westminster Abbey! Hands down, best Abbey I've ever seen. Hey! (Pushes Chandler in front of the camera.) Okay. What do you think of the Abbey, Chandler?

Chandler: I think it's great. It's great. Y'know, they're thinking of changing the name of this place.

Joey: Really? To what?

Chandler: To Put the Camera Away!!!

Joey: Man, you are Westminster Crabby. (He starts chasing Chandler towards the Abbey.)

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is trying to move off of the couch as Rachel enters.]

Phoebe: Oh. Oh.

Rachel: Oh, honey! Don't get up! What do you need?

Phoebe: Oh, no. Oh, nothing.

Rachel: Come on! I am here to take care of you! What do you need? Anything.

Phoebe: Okay, I have a wedgie.

Rachel: Okay, that is all you.

Phoebe: So-so, what do you want for lunch?

Rachel: Oh, I don't know. I guess we have to eat.

Phoebe: Yeah, I do. What's the matter?

Rachel: I'm just bummed about the way I left things with Ross. I shouldn't have lied to him about having to work. He seemed so mad at me.

Phoebe: Eh, don't be so hard on yourself. If someone I was still in love with was getting married

Rachel: (interrupting) Still in love with?!

Phoebe: Yeah!

Rachel: I'm not in love with Ross!

Phoebe: Oh. No. No. Good! Yeah, me neither.

Rachel: Phoebe, I'm going to Ross's wedding because he is my ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. Not because, I'm still in love with him! I mean, hey, y'know, I like Ross as much as the next guy, y'know? Clearly I have feelings for him, but feelings don't mean love! I mean, I still have loving feelings for Ross. Yeah! But, I have, I have continuing feelings of love, but that doesn't mean that-that I'm still in love with him. Y'know? I-I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love him—Ohh! Oh my God! Oh my—why didn't you tell me?!!

Phoebe: We thought you knew!

Rachel: We?!

Phoebe: Yeah, we all know! We talk about it all the time!

Rachel: You all know? Does Ross know?

Phoebe: Oh no, Ross doesn't know anything.

Rachel: Oh, I can not believe you didn't tell me!

Phoebe: Well, because we thought you knew!! It's so obvious! God, that would be like telling Monica, "Hey, you like things clean."

[Scene: A park in London, Joey and Chandler walk up to a souvenir stand.]

Joey: Hey!

The Vendor: So, what are you guys in the market for? We've got uh, scarves, tulip post cards...

Joey: Check this out? Huh? (Joey has this big tall hat with a British flag on the front of it.) Yeah. That's the stuff. What do you think?

Chandler: Well, I don't have to buy that, "I'm with stupid" T-shirt anymore.

Joey: Well, I like it. Here you go. (He pays for the hat.)

Chandler: All right, look, you're not really gonna buy that are you? Don't you think you've embarrassed me enough for one day?

Joey: Oh, I embarrass you?

Chandler: How can I answer that when I'm pretending I don't know you?

The Vendor: He's just jealous. You'll fit right in; all Londoners wear them!

Chandler: Oh really? Then how come no one here is wearing them?

The Vendor: (looks around) They're all tourists.

Chandler: All right, look, if you insist on wearing that, in public, y'know, you're gonna spend the rest of the afternoon all by yourself.

Joey: Oh yeah? (Puts the hat on.) If you're gonna make me choose between you and the hat? I choose the hat.

The Vendor: Good choice.

Joey: Thanks.

Chandler: Okay, wait. All right, that's it, okay, I'm out of here. I am not going to be embarrassed anymore! (He trips over a box, falls into a flower stand and walks away trying to be cool.)

[Scene: The hotel, Ross's room, Emily is entering.]

Emily: Hello?

Ross: Hey! I just spoke to your dad, and you know what? He seems to think we'll be able to find a new place for the wedding.

Emily: We don't have to.

Ross: Whoa-whoa-what? You found a place?

Emily: No. But, Monica and I were talking, and-and I was so upset about the hall being knocked down, and she suggested that we put the wedding off for a bit.

Ross: She said what?

Emily: She said, "If I'm not gonna be happy getting married somewhere that we find in a day, well then we should just postpone it."

Ross: Postpone it? Emily, do you think Monica realises how much our parents spent on this wedding? Do you my sister's teeny-tiny little brain comprehends that people took time out of their lives to fly thousands of miles to be here, huh? (He puts his pants on backwards.) This isn't right.

Emily: I realise that people are going to be disappointed. But, I'm sure they'll come back when we can do it right.

Ross: I can't ask people to do that? Would you ask people to do that? (Holds out his pants)

Emily: Don't you point your pants at me! (She throws them on the floor.) We have no choice! Anywhere that's half-decent would've be booked months ago, Ross don't you understand? This is our wedding I'm talking about.

Ross: The only thing I understand is; postponing it is not an option. This is when we're getting married.

Emily: So what are you saying? It's now or never?

Ross: No. I'm saying it's now. (He starts putting on his pants, backwards again.)

Emily: Or?

Ross: There's no 'or' in mind. What is wrong with these pants?!!

Emily: It's not the pants. It's you that is backwards. And if, and if you don't understand how important this is to me, well then, perhaps we shouldn't get married at all! (She storms out.)

Ross: (chasing her, trying to zip up his pants. His got them on right now.) No, wait! Emily! No, wait, stop! Emily, please—(He catches something important in the zipper and howls like a little boy and falls to the floor.)
COMMERCIAL BREAK
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is on the couch as Rachel returns carrying a bunch of shopping bags.]

Phoebe: Hey!

Rachel: (depressed) Hi.

Phoebe: So, did shopping make you feel any better about Ross?

Rachel: Manhattan does not have enough stores.

Phoebe: Well, I think I can help you get over him.

Rachel: You can?

Phoebe: Yeah. I just need you to bring me some photos of Ross.

Rachel: Um-hmm.

Phoebe: And a small piece of chocolate.

Rachel: Okay.

Phoebe: And a glass of tepid water. (She gathers up all of these things.)

Rachel: Ooh, is this one of those things where you throw it in a bag with some graveyard dirt and hang it from a north-facing tree?

Phoebe: Uh, only if you have the hiccups too. Yeah, the pictures are for you, the water and the chocolate is for me. I just didn't feel like getting up. Okay, I'm gonna show you a picture of Ross. Okay? And you're going to remember all of the bad things about him. All right? Really focus on his flaws.

Rachel: I can do that. I certainly did it when we were going out.

Phoebe: Okay. Umm, before we get started, I just wanna say for the record that I love Ross, I think he's such a great guy. Here. (Hands her the picture, Rachel grabs it out of her hand.) Okay, now, close your eyes. And imagine that you're with Ross okay and imagine that you're kissing him. And you're-you're running your hands all over his body. And then you run your hands through his hair, but eew-oh gross it's some kind of grease, it's—uck! Hah?

Rachel: I don't know, his uh, his hair never really bothered me that much, and y'know it was always more crunchy than it was greasy.

Phoebe: Okay, this is going to be harder than I thought. Umm, let's try some uh, aversion therapy.

Rachel: Okay.

Phoebe: Okay?

Rachel: All right.

Phoebe: So uh, now look at the picture...

Rachel: Okay.

Phoebe: All right, and umm... (She grabs the picture and smacks her in the head.)

Rachel: Ow!

Phoebe: Okay, how do you feel now?

Rachel: Well, I like you less!

[Scene: Chandler and Joey's hotel room. Chandler is watching TV as Joey returns, still wearing his hat.]

Joey: Hey.

Chandler: Hey. (He nods at the hat.)

Joey: Oh. (Takes off the hat.) Sorry!

Chandler: No-no-no, y'know what? I really shouldn't have said that you were embarrassing me, I mean that really wasn't cool. And if it makes you feel any better, I've had a really lousy day.

Joey: Me too.

Chandler: Yeah?

Joey: Noo!! I've had the best day ever! Dude, check this out!

Monica: (entering) Hey!

Joey: Sh-shh-shh! (He motions for her to watch something he has taped.)

[Cut to the tape Joey made in front of some famous place in London with a rather famous English-type person.]

Joey: (on tape) Okay, so say hi to my friend and tell him that you like the hat.

Fergie: (Yep, Sarah, the Duchess of York) Okay, so umm, what's your friend's name?

Joey: (on tape) Oh, Chandler.

Fergie: Hi Chandler! (Waves)

Chandler: That's... That's was...

Monica: Oh my God!

Joey: That's Fergie baby!!

Fergie: Joey says you don't really like his hat, but I think it's kinda dashing.

Chandler: How did you? How? How?

Joey: Well, I was trying to figure out how to get to Buckingham Palace, right? So, I'm in my map and-and...(Ross enters) Hey!

Monica: Hey!

Ross: Hi. I understand you had a little talk with Emily.

Monica: (laughs) Yes, I did! And you are welcome!

Ross: Am I?! And was it your idea to postpone the wedding?!

Monica: Umm...

Chandler: I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

Joey: Wait up! (They both run to the bathroom.)

Ross: Hey-hey, since you're the 'fix-it' lady, here's a pickle, what do you do when the bride says she doesn't want to have the wedding at all?

Monica: She said that?!

Ross: Yeah.

Monica: Why?!

Ross: I don't know, I told her it was stupid to put off the wedding just because the hall was gone and she liked flipped out.

Monica: Oh my God. You're even dumber than I am!

Ross: Excuse me?

Monica: Ross, how long have you been planning this wedding?

Ross: I don't know. A month?

Monica: Emily has probably been planning it since she was five! Ever since the first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. That's what we did! We dreamed about the perfect wedding, and the perfect place, with the perfect four-tiered wedding cake (Starting to cry), with the little people on top. (Ross gets thrown a box of Kleenex from the bathroom and he gives her one.) Thanks. But the most important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was.

Ross: I had no idea. And that-that pillowcase thing, I thought you guys were just doing the flying nun.

Monica: Sometimes we were.

Ross: Come on. You gotta help me figure out what to do. Okay?

Monica: Okay.

Ross: Come on. (They leave and Chandler sticks his head out.)

Chandler: That was pretty intense huh?

Joey: Yeah. (Pause) Hey, I hope Ross didn't think that we just went in there because we were uncomfortable being out here!

Chandler: (glares at him) I hope he did!

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the phone rings and Phoebe answers it.]

Phoebe: Hello.

Joey: (on phone) Hey, Pheebs! It's Joey!

Phoebe: Hey, Joey! Hey! Ooh! Ooh! I just say someone on the—that looks just like you on the subway. And I was gonna go over and say 'hi!' but then I figured, he doesn't care if he looks like you.

Joey: That just cost me four bucks. But uh listen, I just called to see how the chick and the duck are doing?

Phoebe: Ohh, they're having a great time with their Aunt Phoebe! Aunt Rachel hasn't been helpful at all. So, do you miss me?

Joey: Kinda, but I've just been having way too much fun.

Phoebe: So you're not homesick yet?

Joey: No, I don't think so.

Phoebe: All right, the seven of us miss you.

Joey: Who's seven?

Phoebe: Y'know, me, Rachel, the birds, the babies...

Joey: Ahh, the babies miss me?

(There is a knock on Rachel and Phoebe's door.)

Phoebe: Ooh, the pizza guy's here!

Joey: What? You ordered pizza without me?!

Phoebe: Yeah. But y'know we were thinking about you, y'know we ordered the Joey Special.

Joey: Two pizzas?!

Phoebe: Yep! Okay, gotta go, talk to you later.

Joey: Wait, well, where did you get it from?!

(Phoebe has already hung up, leaving Joey in the dark. So Joey decides to watch some TV and turns on a rerun of Cheers, with the theme song playing. At first, he's happy, but as the song progresses Joey gets depressed and homesick.)

[Scene: Ross and Emily's planned wedding place, Monica is dragging Emily in.]

Emily: Monica, why have you brought me here of all places?!

Monica: You'll see.

Emily: I tell you, this wedding is not going to happen.

(At that Ross plugs in some Christmas lights to light the place up.)

Emily: Oh God.

Ross: Okay? But-but imagine a lot more lights, okay? And-and y'know fewer bricks, and-and-and flowers, and candles

Monica: And the musicians, look, they can go over here (Points to a little alcove), okay? And the chairs can face this way (Points), and... (Points to Ross) You go.

Ross: But-but, if you don't love this, we'll do it in any other place at any other time. Really, it's fine, whatever you want.

Emily: It's perfect.

Ross: And, I don't know, if it starts to rain...

Emily: Well then we'll get wet. (They kiss.)

Monica: Ohh. And I don't even have a date.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is in her bedroom.]

Rachel: Pheebs?

Phoebe: Yeah?

Rachel: Do you remember where the duck food is?

Phoebe: Yeah, it's in the guys' apartment under the sink. Why?

Rachel: (enters with a bag packed) Because I'm going to London.

Phoebe: What?! What do you mean you're going to London?

Rachel: Yeah, I have to tell Ross that I love him. Now honey, you take care, you don't have those babies until I get back. (Kisses her stomach.)

Phoebe: I—Rachel, you can't go! Ross loves Emily!

Rachel: Yeah, I know, I know, I know he does. But I have to tell him how I feel! He deserves to have all the information and then he can make an informed decision.

Phoebe: That's not why you're going! You're going because you hope he's gonna say, "Yeah, I love you too, Rach. Forget that British chippy."

Rachel: Ohh—Do you think he will?!

Phoebe: No! Because he's in love with the British chippy! Look, Rachel, if you go, you're just gonna mess with his head and ruin his wedding! Y'know, it's too late! You missed you're chance! I'm sorry, I know this must be really hard, it's over.

Rachel: Y'know what? No. It's not over until someone says, "I do." (Exits)

Phoebe: I do! I do! I do! (Chases her into the hall, but Rachel doesn't stop.) I do! (Gives up.) Ugh, like I can really chase you. I'm carrying a litter.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
[Scene: Moving Shot towards The Waltham House. A phone is ringing.]

Housekeeper: The Waltham Residence.

Phoebe: Oh...yes..is this..umm..Emily's Parents' house.

Housekeeper: This is the housekeeper speaking. And by the way, young lady, that is not how one addresses oneself on the telephone. First one identifies oneself and then asks for the person with whom one wishes to speak.

Phoebe: (In a British accent) This is Phoebe Buffay. I was wondering, please, if-if it's not too much trouble, please, umm, might I speak to Miss Emily Waltham, please?

Housekeeper: Miss Waltham, is at the rehearsal dinner and it's not polite to make fun of people. Goodbye.

Phoebe: No no no, I'll be nice, I swear!!! Could you just give me the number for where they are?

Housekeeper: I'm afraid, I'm not at liberty to divulge that information.

Phoebe: Ok, somebody is on their way to ruin wedding okay. And I have to warn somebody, alright. So if you don't give me that number then I'm going to come over there and kick your snooty ass all the way to New Glocken..shire.

Housekeeper: Hangs up.

Phoebe: Hello, Hello. Ohh, OHH, she knew I could kick her ass.

[Scene: Rehearsal dinner hall. Ross and Emily are standing in the reception area. Monica arrives with her parents.]

Monica: Hey.

Ross: (Ross hugs his mom and dad)Hi. Mom. Dad.

Mrs. Geller: Sweetheart. Oh sorry were late, my fault, I insisted on riding the tube.

Mr. Geller: (embarrassed) Judy, the kids..

Mrs. Geller: Jack, that's what they call the subway.

Mr. Geller: Ohh, I thought that you....

Ross and Monica: Dad, dad. We got it!! We Got It!!!

Emily: Ohh, here comes my dad and stepmum. Mister and Misses Geller, this is Steven and Andrea Waltham.

Mr. Waltham: (Shaking everyone's hand.) Hello. Hello. How do you do? How do you do? Very nice to meet you. (Looking over at his wife.) Darling it's the Gellers. (She pays no attention she's talking on a cellular phone.) (Louder) Darling, it's the Gellers. (She's still not responding.) She's very self-absorbed, you know. I should never have married her.

Mrs. Waltham: (Looking evilly at her husband) Sorry, what?

Mr. Waltham: It's the Gellers!

Mrs. Waltham: Where?

Mr. Waltham: Well there's one (pointing towards Jack) and there's another (pointing towards Judy).

Mrs. Waltham: Lovely to meet you.

Mr. Waltham: Terribly nice of you to offer to pay for half the wedding. (He hand a multipage bill to Jack.)

Mr. Geller: Ohh forget it. Too hell with tradition, we're happy to do it.

Mrs. Geller: We know how expensive weddings can be, besides this may be the only wedding we get to throw (patting Monica on the shoulder.).

Monica: Ha ha, a joke that's funny in all countries.

(Ross quickly directs the families to their tables.)

[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]

Waiter: Sir? (Looking at Joey.)

Joey: What's in it?

Waiter: Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and panchetta. (Joey Looks down disgustingly at the food.)

Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)That's not food...No, I don't, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I can't even remember what Phoebe looks like.

Chandler: Joey, it's been three days, okay.. Your just a little homesick, Okay. Would you just try to relax. Just, just try to enjoy yourself.

Joey: (Pointing at Chandler.) Your different here too. Your mean in England. (Chandler throws his hands up to his head in frustration. They walk away from each other.)

[Camera pans to the Geller family table. Ross, Rachel, Jack, and Judy are there.]

Mr. Geller: (Looking at ht wedding bill.) What the hell!!!

Ross: what's up, Dad?

Mr. Geller: This bill for my half of the wedding. it's insane.

Mrs. Geller: How could it be so much? The receptions at their house.

Mr. Geller: (Pointing items out on the bill.) Flowers, liquor, recarpet first floor. New guest bath, landscaping. I'm paying to remodel this guys house. (Angrily gets up.) I'm going to give that sun on a bitch, a piece of my mind.

Ross: (Holding him back.)Dad, dad, please. Look I don't want anything to upset Emily tonight. Alright, she's had a hard enough couple of days as it is. (Picks up the bill.) Now here, here, let me go talk to him, okay?

Mr. Geller: And you tell him no one takes advantage of the Gellers.

Mrs. Geller: Ooh, Jack....(He looks over to her) Sometimes I forget how powerful you can be. (They embrace and kiss passionately.)

Monica: (Looking nauseous from her parents kissing.) And I'm going to go get drunk. (Gets up to get a drink.)

[Scene: An airport in New York.]

Rachel: (Running to the ticket counter) Ooh, ooh, ooh,ooh,ooh. (Slightly out of breath) Hi.

Ticket Agent: (Cheerfully.) Hello.

Rachel: (Faking cheerfulness.) Hello. Umm, when is your next flight to London?

Ticket Agent: (looking at her computer terminal) There's one leaving in thirty minutes.

Rachel: Ohh, good.

Ticket Agent: And I do have one seat left.

Rachel: Ohh, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Ticket Agent: The last minute fare on this ticket is twenty seven hundred dollars.

Rachel: (looking through her wallet.) Ohh, I just don't think I have enough left on my credit card.

Ticket Agent: Well you can split it with another credit card.

Rachel: Ohh, okay, how about five. (She hands her all the credit cards.) Ohh, thank you.

Ticket Agent: I'm just going to need to see your passport.

Rachel: (Looking through her purse.) Okay, you know what? I don't have it, but I can tell you exactly where it is on my night stand, and...okay. But you know what? I have my drivers license and I have a twenty. (She slides it across the counter.)

Ticket Agent: (Slides the twenty back and tosses her credit card onto the counter.)

[Scene: The Rehearsal dinner hall. Ross is at the Waltham's' table discussing the bill.]

Ross: Look, face it, my father is not going to pay for the build-in barbecue and believe me you can kiss you gazebo goodbye. Now I might be able to get you the new lawn.

Mr. Waltham: Ahh, then you have to give us the lawn ornaments.

Ross: I go back there with lawn ornaments, he's going to laugh in my face.

Mrs. Waltham: This is ridiculous. I mean we had an agreement. (Ross looks frustrated. She begins to scream at her husband.) Will you say something, Steven?! Please!!!

Mr. Waltham: Don't take that tone with me. (She looks evilly at him.) All-all right you can. (He looks over at Ross and Shrugs.)

[Scene: The Girls apartment. Phoebe is dialing the phone and Rachel runs in the door.]

Rachel: (Running to her room.) Hi, Pheebs.

Phoebe: (Looking relieved. She puts down the phone.) Oh thank god. Oh, you changed your mind. Oh, look I know you probably want to be alone, and you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. I just want you to know, I think you are doing the right thing and...

Rachel: (Running back out the door with her passport.) Bye, Pheebs.

Phoebe: (Trying to get up.) Wait!! Where are you going?! What are you doing?! No!! Wait!! (Not able to get up.) God!! Why am I always pregnant when she does that?!

[Scene: The Rehearsal Dinner Hall. Chandler, Joey, Ross, Emily, Monica, and all the bridal party are seated at the table. Chandler gets up to make a toast.]

Chandler: I'd like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. (No one in the room laughs. He starts to get flustered.) Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. (Ross looks embarrassed.) And I thought things were going to work out for him..Until the day he over inflated her. (He laughs. Jack looks at Judy and no one in the room laughs.) Ohh, Dear God.. (A cellular phone rings.)

Mrs. Waltham: Hello, Waltham Interiors.

Phoebe: Oh, hi, Mrs. Waltham. I need to speak with ether one of the best men, or Ross's sister Monica.

Mrs. Waltham: Who is this?

Phoebe: Oh, I'm Phoebe Buffay. I'm one of Ross's best friends.

Mrs. Waltham: Well, if you're on e of Ross's best friends, why aren't you here?

Phoebe: Yeah, um, I can't fly. I'm having my brother's babies.

Mrs. Waltham: Oh, am I on the radio?

Phoebe: No..umm, could I talk to one of them? It's very very important.

Mrs. Waltham: No, I'm bored with you now. I'm going to cut you off. (She hangs up.)

Phoebe: Ohh! Okay, I'm going to have to kick her ass too.

Chandler: (Continuing his toast.) And I'm sure we're all very excited that Ross and Emily are getting married at Montgomery Hall. I mean to think, my friend getting married in Monty Hall. (No reaction from the people.) Ohh, come on!! Monty Hall!! Lets make a Deal!! Come on, you people!! All right, forget it!! Congratulations, Ross and Emily. (He sits down.)

Joey: Hey, best man number two, Joey Tribbiani. Now I'm not good with the jokes like Chandler here. Boy...but ahh, I just want to say congratulation to the happy couple. I first met Ross in this coffee house back home...Home...New York City...Where everybody knows my name. Well anyway, I love you guys. (pointing at everyone.) But not as much as I love America. (Looking at Chandler.) Could we please..go home now?

(One of the bridesmaids, Felicity, puts her arm around Joey.)

Felicity: (Putting her arm around Joey.) Are you going home? I was hoping to get to know you better.

Joey: (Putting his arm around her.) I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart.

[Scene: Later that evening at the rehearsal dinner. Chandler and Monica are sitting on a sofa. Chandler is covering his face in embarrassment because of the toast.]

Monica: I was laughing. (Patting him on the knee.)

Chandler: Out loud?

Monica: Well I didn't want everyone to think I was stupid.

Chandler: So how are you doing?

Monica: My mother's driving me crazy, but Ross is getting married. I'm happy. (A drunken man approaches.) I'm not going to let anything spoil that.

Drunk Man: I just want to say that Ross is a wonderful young man.

Monica: Well, thanks, we like him.

Drunk Man: My god!! You must have been a teenage when you had him. (Monica stares straight forward after the comment. Chandler tries to console her by patting her on the shoulder.)

(Ross and Emily's parents are seated at a table. Ross is between them and they are discussing the wedding bill.)

Mr. Geller: There's no way in hell, I'm paying for it.

Ross: Look, were down to just one point. Could we please, maybe just settle it after the wedding.

Mr. Geller: All-right fine, but I just want to say, I'm not paying for your wine cellar. You thieving, would be speaking German if it weren't for us, cheap little man. (Emily's stepmum looks shocked. Jack and Judy get up and leave.)

(Chandler's trying to console Monica.)

Chandler: The guy was hammered, okay? There's no way, you look like Ross's mother.

Monica: Then why would he say it?

Chandler: Because he's crazy. Okay? He came up to me earlier and thanked me for my very moving performance in Titanic.

Monica: Oh, my mother's right. I'm never going to get married.

Chandler: Ahh, you know what? That is....Who wouldn't want you?

Monica: Ohh, Please?! I'm a single mom, with a thirty year old son!!

[Scene: The airport. Rachel runs up to the ticket counter.]

Rachel: Hi, I'm back. Listen, I need to...

Ticket Agent: Hello.

Rachel: Hello. I need to get on the 11 o'clock flight.

Ticket Agent: Oh I'm afraid that plane has already pulled away from the gate.

Rachel: Okay, you know what/ You're going to have to call that plane and tell them to swing around and come and pick me up.

Ticket Agent: I can't do that.

Rachel: Sure, you know what? Come on, we'll just tell them that there was like a problem with like the "engine".

Ticket Agent: I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to step aside, Miss.

Rachel: Look, If I don't get to London!! He is going to marry that other girl!!!

Ticket Agent: I can't imagine why.

Rachel: All right, you know what? I am not leaving here, until you call that plane back!! (She pounds her hand on the counter twice. The ticket agent counters by placing the closed sign on the counter and tapping it twice.)

[Scene: Chandlers hotel room. Ross bursts into the room.]

Ross: (Screaming) I'm getting married today!! Whoo-hoo!!

Chandler: (With the covers pulled up to his chin.) Morning, Ross.

Ross: I'm getting married, to..day!!

Chandler: Yeah you are!!

Ross: Ahh, whoo-hoo!!(He runs back out the door.

Monica: (Comes up for below the covers and looks concerned.) Do you think he knew I was here? (Chandler quickly looks at Monica not knowing what to say.)

COMMERCIAL BREAK

[Scene: Chandlers hotel room. Chandler and Monica are lying in the bed together talking. There's an awkward air between them. They are both clutching the covers in from of them.]

Chandler: Well I've-I've never done that with you before.

Monica: (In am uneasy voice.) Nope. (She chuckles uneasily.)

Chandler: So, ahh, how are ya? How ya...How ya... You okay?

Monica: Yep, yep...You?

Chandler: Yes...Yes..Uh-huh, You?(Looking over at her. She looks back.) We did you.

Monica: Well...I'd better get going.

Chandler: Oh yea yea, absolutely.

Monica: (Scoots towards the side of the bed.) Could you not look?

Chandler: I don't want to look.

[Scene: The Virgin Atlantic flight to London that Rachel is on.]

Rachel: Ohhh.(she rhythmically taps her hands on the magazine on her lap.)

Passenger: Ahh, ahh, excuse me.

Rachel: Yeah?

Passenger: If you're planning on doing that throughout the entire flight. Please tell me now. So that I could that a sedative...or perhaps slip you one.

Rachel: Oh. I'm sorry. I'm very sorry. Sorry. (She hums and sighs happily.) It's just, I'm ahh, I'm kinda excited. I'm, ahh, going to London to ahh, tell this guy that I love him and... (He puts his headphones on to ignore her.)

[Scene: Joey enters his hotel room. The phone is ringing.]

Joey: Hello?

Phoebe: (Angrily.) Hey, were the hell have you been?!

Joey: Hey. I spent the night out. I met this cute bridesmaid. She is so...

Phoebe: I don't want to hear about her!!

Joey: Ahh Pheebs, you know you're still my number one girl.

Phoebe: No! No, we have an emergency. Okay? Rachel's coming to London.

Joey: Ohh great!!!

Phoebe: No it's not great. No, she's coming to tell Ross that she loves him.

Joey: (Confused.) But, he loves Emily?

Phoebe: I KNOW THAT!!! You have to stop her!! She's going to ruin the wedding!!

Joey: Okay.

Phoebe: All right, so, okay...

Joey: Hold on. Hold on. (Picking up a note pad and writing and reading the message aloud.) Rachel coming. Do...Something.

Phoebe: Okay, so I'm done my part, okay. It's your responsibility now, okay. The burden is off me, right?

Joey: Right!

Phoebe: So tell me about this girl?

(The guys hotel room. Joey's there. Chandler comes out of the bathroom in a robe.)

Joey: Hey.

Chandler: Hey.

Joey: Have you seen Monica?

Chandler: (Very defensive.) I'm not seeing Monica.

Joey: (With a confused look on his face.) What?

Chandler: What?

Joey: Look we've got to find her. Phoebe just called!! Rachel's coming to tell Ross she loves him!!

Chandler: Oh my god!

Joey: I know! That's why we got to find Monica!! You know where she is?

Chandler: No!! Okay!! What's with the third degree?! Why don't you just shine a light in my eyes?! (Joey looks totally confused.)

[Scene: The plane. Rachel's telling her story to the passenger on her left. The one on her left is still wearing his headphones.]

Rachel: ...And so then I realized. All this stuff I had been doing. proposing to Joshua, lying to Ross about why I couldn't come to the wedding. Was all just a way of...

Passenger: (Frustrated he takes his headphones off.) Oh, oh oh!! I'm sorry, can I interrupt? You know I just want to say..That you are a horrible, horrible person.

Rachel: Ehh, pardon me?

Passenger: You say you love this man, yet you're about to ruin the happiest day of his life. I'm afraid I have to agree with you friend Pheebs.. This is a..this is a...terrible, terrible plan.

Rachel: But he has to know how I feel!

Passenger: But why? He loves this...this Emily person. No good can come of this.

Rachel: (Sighing) Well I-I think your wrong.

Passenger: Oh-no.(He bites his fist at her.)And by the way, it seems to be perfectly clear that you were on a break. (Rachel gasps and doesn't know what to say. He puts his headphones back on.)

[Scene: The church where Ross and Emily are to be married. Judy, Andrea, and Monica enter together.]

Mrs. Geller: (Looking around at the chapel.) Oh my God! It's like a fairyland.

Mrs. Waltham: I know, it's horrible isn't it?

Monica: Well, I love it. I only hope my wedding looks this good.

Mrs. Geller: I just hope...

Monica: (Angrily.) You can let some of them go by!(Judy and Andrea go to the front of the chapel. Joey approaches Monica.)

Joey: (Whispering.) Pisst, Monica. Alright, we really need to start looking out for Rachel. I'll cover the front door. You watch that big hole at the back of the building and I got Chandler covering Ross.

Monica: (Awkwardly.) Why would I care where Chandler is? You know uhh...You know sometimes I don't even like Chandler.

Joey: Okay. (They both walk off to watch for Rachel.)

(Ross and chandler are standing next to the alter. Ross is practicing for the wedding.)

Ross: (Using a slightly different inflection for each.) I do. I do. I do.

Chandler: Oh yea, your right. It's the second one.

Ross: (Very Nervous)Really?

[Scene: Joey's in the front entrance watching for Rachel. The bridesmaid he met at the rehearsal dinner come in.)

Felicity: (In a sexy voice.)Hello Joey.

Joey: Hey, Felicity.

Felicity: Umm, I thought about you all day.

Joey: Yeah.

Felicity: Um-hum. Talk New York to me again.

Joey: (In a New York accent.) Fuggetaboutit. (She giggles.) How you doin?

Felicity: Mmm. (She pushes him up against the wall and they begin to kiss.)

Joey: Oh, yeah.

(Back in the chapel. The parents are still fighting over the bill. Ross is refereeing.)

Mrs. Geller: There's nothing to discuss. We're not paying for your wine cellar.

Mr. Waltham: (Pleading.) You-you have to meet me in the middle here.

Mr. Geller: (Forcefully.) Hey, you keep pushing me on this, my foots going to meet the middle of your ass.

Ross: Dad!! (Emily comes running in.)

Emily: What-what's going on?!

Ross: Nothing, nothing. Everything's under control.

Mr. Waltham: You want a piece of me, sir? Is that what your saying? (Pointing at Jack and poking him) You want a piece of me?

Ross: (Stepping in between them.)Okay! Okay! That's it!! Parents!! Parents!! Back away!! All right, this is our wedding day! From now on everyone gets along, and if I hear one more word. NO GRANDCHILDREN! (Pointing at his mother.) That's right!!

Mr. Geller: Okay, okay.

Mr. Waltham: Sorry old boy, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. (Them all walk away. As he leaves he mutters to Jack.) I could kill you with my thumb, you know.

Emily: What was all that about?

Ross: (Sighing.) It was...This disagreement over...(She sighs. Ross notices her in her wedding dress.) My god. You...you look beautiful.

Emily: (Giggles.) Ohh...(She realizes that she's in her gown.) Oh! You were not meant to see me before the wedding. It's bad luck.

Ross: You know what, I think we've had all the bad luck we're going to have. (He hugs her.)

(The front entrance. Joey and the bridesmaid are up against the wall kissing. Rachel comes in the door and walks by Joey unnoticed. She walks into the chapel and sees Ross and Emily kissing. She looks as though she wants to cry. Emily walks away and Ross turns and sees Rachel standing there.)

Ross: My God. Rachel! (He walks towards her, grasps her hands and kisses her on the cheek.) Your here. I can't believe it. (She giggles.) What happen? Why are you here?

Rachel: Well I just came...(She touches him near his heart. She's almost in tears.) I just needed to tell you...(Looking into his eyes. She takes a deep breath.) Congratulations. (He hugs her. She can barely hold back the tears.)

[Scene: Camera fades to one of the band members playing guitar at the wedding. The chapel is full of guest. A groomsmen escorts a bridesmaid down the isle. Joey is waiting with Mrs. Waltham to escort he down the isle. A cellular phone rings.]

Mrs. Waltham: (Answering the phone.) Hello, Waltham Interiors.

Phoebe: Mrs. Waltham. Hi. It's Phoebe again.

Mrs. Waltham: (Throws her head back in disgust.) Why?!

Phoebe: Yea. Can I please, please, please talk to one of the best men? This is going to be the last time I promise.

Mrs. Waltham: (Slapping the phone into Joey's chest.) Joey there's a girl on the phone for you.

Joey: (Smiling.) Ohh great!! (Putting the phone to his ear.) Hello. (He begins to escort her down the aisle.)

Phoebe: Did you stop Rachel?

Joey: No, but it's okay. She just came in and gave him a hug, that it.

Phoebe: So nothing got ruined?

Joey: No.

Phoebe: Oh that's so great! Ohh, so what's going on now?

Joey: Ah, I'm-I'm walking down the aisle...Still walking. (Mrs. Waltham takes her place.) I'm about to pass the bridesmaid I hooked up with last night. (Looking at the bridesmaid.) Hey! (Talking to Phoebe.) I told her "Hey." And now I'm at the front with Ross. It's Phoebe. (He shows Ross the phone.) He looks pretty mad. Uh...I'd better go.

Phoebe: No!! wait, wait, wait!! Oh please, hold it up so I can listen. (Joey looks at Ross and holds the phone above Ross's shoulder.)

(Chandler escorts Monica down the aisle.)

Chandler: What we did last night was....

Monica: Stupid.

Chandler: Totally crazy stupid. (He nods his head at the people seated.)

Monica: What were we thinking?

Chandler: I'm coming over tonight though, right?

Monica: Oh yeah. Definitely.

(They quickly take their places and Here Comes the Bride Begins to play. Everyone seated looks back. Emily is being escorted up the aisle by her father. She kisses him on the cheek and takes her place by Ross's side.)

Minister: Friends. Family. We are gathered to celebrate here today the joyous union of Ross and Emily. May the happiness we share with them today be with them always. Now Emily, repeat after me. I, Emily...

Emily: I, Emily...

Minster: Take thee Ross...

Emily: Take thee Ross...

Minster: As my lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, till death parts us.

Emily: As my lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, until death parts us.

Minster: Now Ross, repeat after me. I Ross...

Ross: I Ross...

Minister: Take thee, Emily...

Ross: Take thee, Rachel...(All his friends have looks of shock on their faces. He realizes what he said. Quickly he says.) Emily. (A slight chuckle.) Emily.

Minister: (Looking and feeling awkward. he looks towards Emily.) Uhh...Shall I go on?

(Rachel looks all around as if all the eyes in the chapel were looking at her as the picture fades to black.)

CLOSING CREDITS

THE END
Back to episode info

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Transcript of The One with Ross's Wedding

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Transcript of The One with Ross's Wedding Part 1 transcribed by Eric Aasen Part 2 transcribed byAaron D. Miller [Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are getting ready for the flight to London and Monica comes running in.] Monica: Guys, hurry up! The flight leaves in four hours!

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The Real Reason Behind Emily leaving Friends

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The Real Reason Behind Emily leaving Friends

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When Helen Baxendale was in Friends she got mobbed in the street, but now she reveals: I'm so glad I gave up fame for a family

Helen Baxendale turned her back on Hollywood fame when she had the world at her feet.

She was starring as Jennifer Aniston's love rival in Friends, and had already established herself in her role as James Nesbitt's girlfriend in Cold Feet - which won her a best actress award and was acknowledged as one of the best female parts in British TV.

But then she made the bold decision to quit Friends and put family life first, going on to have three children and limiting herself to parts that fitted in with her home commitments.

Fourteen years on, and she insists she has never regretted the move. 'I had a little glimpse of what fame holds, and I decided it held a load of nothing. It contained nothing that mattered.

'Some people can deal with that well; it sits on their shoulders fine. But it wasn't for me.'

Helen, 41, who is preparing to return to mainstream drama in ITV1's thriller Kidnap And Ransom this month, says it was her year in Friends in 1998 that led her to decide worldwide fame was not all it is cracked up to be.

Her character, English rose Emily Waltham, married and divorced Ross Geller (David Schwimmer) in the series, but had to be written out after 16 episodes - earlier than the producers had intended - because she and her partner, film director, producer and writer David L. Williams, were expecting their first child.

'Friends was great fun, but I was just there so they could make some funny jokes about England. And I was also expecting, and you have to be thin out in America.'

In any case, she says, everyone in Friends had become so famous - including her - it became impossible to live a normal life. For a girl from Warrington whose earliest ambition had been to be a ballet dancer, it was all a bit overwhelming.

'You couldn't walk down the street to buy a pint of milk. In fact, you couldn't go anywhere. It was impossible to mix with the crowd, and do what ordinary people do.

'I saw it as a gilded prison. It was something I wasn't prepared for. But it was quickly forgotten. I don't get the same attention now.

'Fame just didn't fit in with my life. I don't know how much would have come from staying in the States anyway. I didn't want to live in America, when all my circumstances were leading me back to Britain. I don't regret it for a minute.

'To me there are many aspects of being ambitious. Yes there is your career, but there are also many other ambitions. There is this perception that TV is glamorous and it is the pinnacle of your existence - I don't think it is.'

She says she can quite understand why people continue to be fascinated by Friends.

'People still love that programme. It's such an amazing show. It's still as fresh as a daisy. There is a whole new generation of children who are mad about it all over the world. Other programmes are now trying to mimic it.'

When she left Friends, she continued starring in Cold Feet for another five years by juggling her home life in a way that wouldn't have been possible if she'd remained in Hollywood.

Mike Bullen's hugely entertaining story of the complex love lives of six 20-something friends in Manchester - played by Helen, James Nesbitt, Hermione Norris, Robert Bathurst, Fay Ripley and John Thomson - was a ratings sensation.

Millions tuned in to the heartbreaking episode in 2003 when Helen's character died in a car crash.

'I've only had to die twice on-screen, thank God!' she says. 'I'm sure as I get older, I'll have to die on-screen more!'

Now her children are older - Nelly is 14, Eric 11, and Vincent six - she is able to spread her wings a little more.

So here we are in Cape Town, the setting for Kidnap and Ransom, sitting in an idyllic garden, which is an oasis of calm in the middle of the bustling city.

If there is a downside, it's very minor. The other day a baboon wandered on the set. 'They have been known to attack women, so it could have been a bad moment, but it wasn't there long enough for me to get scared. It just wandered around before quickly disappearing.

'Oh, and the internet connection is so bad in my hotel that I can't get Radio 4 for more than a minute at a time. It's very frustrating.' A pause, before she breaks into laughter and adds: 'I'm obviously middle-aged!'

In her leading role in Kidnap And Ransom, she plays Angela Beddoes, a high-flying, super-intelligent hostage negotiator.

Alongside her business partner Dominic King (Trevor Eve), she has to conduct very delicate negotiations to try to free a busload of Western tourists taken hostage by kidnappers in Kashmir (for which Cape Town proves a splendid double). Dominic has parted from his wife, Sophie (Natasha Little), and he and Angela are growing ever closer.

Is it set to become something more than a professional relationship? Helen proves coy on this matter.

'Angela is really fond of Dominic. Something endears her to someone so driven and yet so fallible. There is definitely a bond between them, and Sophie is suspicious that it's turning into romance.

'Angela bats that away, but still feels guilty for no reason.

'If you work with someone who is in the middle of a divorce, you may appear culpable in some way. But I'm not sure anything is going on between them. Angela is really concerned for Dominic - that's all I'm going to say!'

What she will say is that she is happy with her own life. 'I wouldn't change anything. I'm happy, and I don't know if I would have been if I'd continued to work so much.

'I wouldn't have seen my children grow up, and I honestly didn't want that to happen.'

For all that, Helen is now keen to set a good example to her daughter.
'I want her to see me working. It's important to keep the brain ticking over and to feel fulfilled. I congratulate any mother who manages to do just that.

'I don't think that there is a perfect way to be a mother. Whatever you do, you always think you have mucked something up in their childhood!'

Kidnap and Ransom begins on ITV1, at 9pm, on Thursday February 23.

Nicolas Cage once ate a live cockroach for a scene in Vampire's Kiss. A fake one would have been a betrayal of his art, he explained.

He also had several teeth extracted for a part in Birdy. And when he moved into a haunted house in New Orleans, he bought a two-headed snake 'as my personal bodyguard'.

Welcome to the wacky world of one of Hollywood's most eccentric performers. Although Cage puts it another way: 'There's a fine line between the method actor and the schizophrenic.' The 48-year-old star also has a strict diet - eating animals he thinks have sex 'the right way'. Fish and birds are on his menu, apparently, 'because they have dignified sex'. But 'pigs not so much'.

On location in Romania for his latest movie, Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance, in which he reprises his role as a motorcycle stuntman who has made a pact with the Devil, he stuffed his pockets with ancient Egyptian artefacts to 'get in touch' with the supernatural character he was playing.

He also scared everyone by wearing black contact lenses and painting his face black and white like a Voodoo doll. 'Anything that convinced me that I really was a ghostly spirit helped me with my portrayal,' he says. 'I could see genuine fear in the eyes of the people I was working with.

'I don't see that this makes me eccentric, though. I just like to play flawed, interesting characters who allow me to fulfil my surreal dreams in film acting rather than being a lunatic myself.'

■ Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance opens on February 17.

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When Helen Baxendale was in Friends she got mobbed in the street, but now she reveals: I'm so glad I gave up fame for a family

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Helen Baxendale turned her back on Hollywood fame when she had the world at her feet. She was starring as Jennifer Aniston's love rival in Friends, and had already established herself in her role as James Nesbitt's girlfriend in Cold Feet - which won her a best actress award and was acknowledged as one of the best female parts in British TV.

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NBC

Ah, Friends. A beloved American sitcom that has captured the hearts and souls of the British population since its creation in 1994 - including me. So much so that I nearly wrote a strongly worded letter to E4 when it decided to stop broadcasting repeats. But that isn't to say it's perfect, especially when it comes to British stereotypes in Friends

Remember the one where they all came to London for Ross and Emily's wedding? OK, I'll admit that the two-part special in the Big Smoke was pretty epic, but seriously, who did the research for these episodes? Was that really an accurate portrayal of London life? Erm, no, definitely not.

Then there's the matter of Emily. I have nothing against Emily as a character - well, except for the fact that she threw a spanner in the works for Ross and Rachel - but I can't deal with how caricatured they made her accent sound. And then there were the awful British impersonations that came alongside it from the likes of Ross and Chandler.

Honestly, I do love Friends really, but the ridiculous and hilarious amount of British stereotyping on the show is a little cray. Here are my top seven cringe British moments ranked in order of ridiculousness. See if you agree.

7That Rugby Is Extremely Violent

How rugby is depicted in "The One With All The Rugby" warrants a serious eye-roll. I mean come one; Emily chatting with the "lads", who we first see with beer in their hands; Phoebe interacting with one "lad" that has no teeth (oh, how stereotypically British); and Emily telling the "lads" to go easy on Ross. Is anyone else cringing?

Rugby is so much cooler than that, man. Although, the depiction in Friends does give us "Red Ross", which I'll admit is hilarious.

6That There Are Union Jacks Everywhere

As a British kid, you go to London once as a sightseer and you take the open-top bus tour. After that, whenever you have to go to the capital, you turn into an annoyed citizen, traipsing past tourist after tourist. Now I get that tourists like to take something home to remind them of the UK, but the Union Jack memorabilia is a bit strange. Excepting Geri from the Spice Girls, nobody wears this stuff, or has much to do with the union jack in their day to day life. Just saying.

5That Stinginess Is The Norm

Emily's father (Tom Conti) and step-mum (Jennifer Saunders) are depicted as stingy, upper-class Brits compared to Ross's lovable, wholesome American parents in "The One With Ross's Wedding, Part 2." I know it's exaggerated for comedy, and Brits being tight with their money is a well worn stereotype, but c'mon. There isn't that much of a cultural divide.

4That Brits Eat Weird Food

In "The One With Ross's Wedding, Part 2", Joey completely freaks out over the canapés. It was only goat's cheese, watercress, and pancetta, that he was being offer, aka cheese, some greens and meat. What was all the commotion for? I know Britain has a bit of a bad reputation for its cuisine, but trust me - this isn't the bad stuff. It's hardly anything to complain about, Joey. Stop taking your homesickness out on our food.

3All Brits Speak With Posh Accents

Oh, this gets on my nerves the most. As someone with a British accent that is a mix between someone from Essex and a Hampshire farmer (thanks mum and dad), it's hard to take British characters like Emily seriously when they're speaking with this caricatured English accent. It's even harder to laugh at characters like Ross and Chandler when they are imitating it.

"The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance" sees Ross speak in a fake British accent out of nervousness with phrases like "oh bloody 'ell!" adding to the cringe. While "The One With The Fake Party" sees Chandler start to imitate Emily whenever he's in the same room as her, often going on about drinking tea. I mean, we drink coffee too, ya know!

2That Brits Lack A Sense Of Humour

At Ross and Emily's wedding rehearsal dinner, Chandler gave a speech and not a single person in the room cracked a smile. "Come on you people," he snapped after realising he had a tough crowd to please. Bearing in mind the majority of the guests at the dinner were Emily's friends and family, I'm guessing by "you people", Mr Bing meant us Brits. Erm, dude. We so do have a sense of humour, hence why we love you. I mean that in the nicest way.

1That Everyone Knows The Royals

To any American thinking about visiting London and hoping to casually bump into one of the royals, trust me, it ain't gonna happen. While that Sarah Ferguson cameo was admittedly hilarious, I hate to break it to you, but you won't find the royals hanging around Westminster (really not their patch, tbh). But OK, let's just say for argument's sake you did, despite how freakin' unlikely that is, there is no way they would stop and record a video message. Don't let Joey Tribbiani tell you otherwise.

As bitter as I may sound, at least we Brits got some moments to shine in one of the world's most popular sitcoms, however awkward they may be.

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Seriously LOL British Stereotypes In 'Friends' Ranked In Order Of Ridiculousness

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Ah, Friends. A beloved American sitcom that has captured the hearts and souls of the British population since its creation in 1994 - including me. So much so that I nearly wrote a strongly worded letter to E4 when it decided to stop broadcasting...

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Emily Waltham

Emily (Unknown last name with new husband) (nee Waltham and previously Geller) was Rachel's boss' niece who begins dating Ross at the middle of Season 4. Their relationship begins to advance quickly and Ross proposes marriage to her. They decide to marry in London, where Emily is from. However, the wedding goes sour when Ross accidentally says Rachel's name instead of Emily's when giving his vows. They get married, but, feeling humiliated, she goes into hiding. During Season 5, she makes occasional appearances, until Ross convinces her to go to New York with him. She accepts, but only on the condition that he will not see Rachel anymore. Since he is incapable of handling this, their marriage ends.

Emily was born in Shropshire to Stephen Waltham and his first wife. She was dating a man named Colin, until she traveled to New York and meets with her uncle, who was Rachel's boss.

When Rachel's boss asks her to take his niece Emily to the opera on the same night Rachel has her first "date" with Joshua, she convinces Ross to go with Emily instead. She and Ross end up in a bed & breakfast in Vermont at the end of the date, and the rest of their relationship is similarly fast-paced.("The One With Joey's Dirty Day")

When Emily leaves to go back to England, Ross catches her at the airport and tell her that he loves her, to which she responds, "Thank you." Later she reveals that she is seeing Colin. However, she decides to end it with him and admits to Ross that she loves him too.("The One With The Free Porn")

Greatly bothered by the fact that Emily has to keep traveling back and forth between New York and London, Ross suggests they get married (despite only dating for 6 weeks) Emily is reluctant at first but agrees, and Ross gives a proper proposal.("The One With All The Haste")

Emily starts planning her wedding and puts her future sister-in-law, Monica Geller in charge of picking up her wedding dress. What Emily didn't know was that while Monica picked up the dress, she wore it and Phoebe and Rachel got their own wedding dresses.("The One With All The Wedding Dresses")

Rachel is very unhappy as she realizes she is still in love with Ross, and decides to tell him at the wedding in London. In London, the building Ross and Emily were going to get married in was starting to be torn down early which lead to a fight between the couple. Ross and Emily almost called off the wedding until Ross made it up to Emily and decorated the half torn down building so he and Emily could still get married. ("The One With Ross' Wedding, Part 1")

Deciding at the last minute not to tell Ross about her feelings, Rachel simply hugs Ross. However, seeing Rachel brings back Ross' old (and true) feelings, and instead of saying, "I, Ross, take thee, Emily...", Ross accidentally says, "I, Ross, take thee, Rachel..." ("The One With Ross' Wedding, Part 2").

Emily's jealous side to her personality is revealed in this season. The wedding continues and is finalized. However, feeling humiliated, Emily escapes the wedding party. Trying to save the situation, Ross asks Emily's parents to tell her he would wait for her at the airport, hoping she would still like to go for the honeymoon. After apparently getting stood up by Emily, Ross eventually decides to take Rachel with him instead - only to be seen leaving together by a late-arriving Emily. Emily escapes Ross again and runs into hiding afterwards.("The One After Ross Says Rachel")

Ross then returns to the states, attempting to reach Emily and persuade her to forgive him over the phone. When she finally calls him, he convinces her to come to New York. She agrees, with the condition that Ross will never see Rachel again. ("The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS")

She also convinces him to sell all of his furniture that came into any contact with Rachel and move into one of her relatives' apartments. The other five friends agree to support Ross as long as he is happy with being manipulated by Emily, but when Ross expresses his discontent with all the changes he has to make, the group helps him realize that he cannot meet all of Emily's conditions. Ross then tells Emily that he doesn't agree to her terms, and their marriage ends. ("The One With The Yeti")

Ross later finds out that Emily is getting married again, and because of this he begins dating Janice. The relationship doesn't go far after Janice can't take his negativity.("The One With Chandler's Work Laugh")

Later on Emily calls and leaves a message that she wants to talk to Ross about getting back together even though she is getting married. Rachel convinced Ross not to call her back.("The One With The Ride-Along")

Personality

Emily is sweet, smart, supportive and caring when in a positive relationship but she has trouble coping with adversity. She also has trust issues, can be very controlling, manipulative and makes very dramatic and impulsive romantic choices. She is also very unpleasant when she does not get her way as well as very unreasonable.

Relationships

Emily is shown to have a good relationship with her father Stephen Waltham. Her relationship with her stepmother Andrea Waltham is unknown and nothing is known about her relationship with her birth mother and it's likely she has a good relationship with her uncle Mr. Waltham and her cousin.

Ross Geller

Emily was introduced to Ross Geller by Rachel when she asked him to take Emily to the opera and this triggered romance. They soon decided to get married in London, but then Ross accidentally said Rachel's name and later they ended up getting divorced because Ross refused to stop seeing Rachel as Emily demanded.

Rachel Green

Initially, Emily was fond of Rachel and was quite good to her. However, after Ross said Rachel's name at his wedding to Emily, Emily now started having negative opinions of Rachel and asked Ross to never see or speak to her again, something Ross was completely unable to do. Eventually, Emily realized that Ross was unable to stop seeing Rachel and she and Ross decided to divorce. It's possible that when Emily had doubts that when she was getting remarried herself or possible wanted to start over with Ross that she was willing to forgive Rachel.

Actress Helen Baxendale became pregnant between seasons 4 and 5; as a result she was unable to travel to the US to do any filming for Season 5. Her only appearances were heavily swaddled in bedclothes, and she had to be written out of the series a lot earlier than was intended. Helen Baxendale was asked to reprise the role in Season 10 but turned it down to star in the West End play After Miss Julie, and because she did not want the same level of tabloid attention she received in 1998.

Ross and Emily's marriage lasted about two to three months.

Also out of Ross' wives, Emily was the only one whom he did not have a child with (Although Ross and Rachel got drunkenly married then amicably divorced, they had their daughter Emma 3 years after this event and out of wedlock, but later Ross and Rachel are remarried).

No one knows Emily's birth mother's information and whereabouts.

Emily's overly-paranoid, depressive and unreasonable personality could imply that being humiliated by Ross at the altar may have caused her to become slightly mentally unstable. Ironically, Ross later (by accident) caused a different woman to become mentally unstable in a later episode.

Ironically, both the start and the end of Ross' relationship with Emily were done by Rachel: Rachel unintentionally set them up in "The One With Joey's Dirty Day" when she begged Ross take Emily out to the opera so she can meet Joshua at a party. And when she barged into their wedding out of jealousy, her presence resurfaced Ross' old feelings which distracted him into saying Rachel's name at the altar resulting in Emily divorcing him in a later episode.

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Emily (Unknown last name with new husband) (nee Waltham and previously Geller) was Rachel's boss' niece who begins dating Ross at the middle of Season 4. Their relationship begins to advance quickly and Ross proposes marriage to her. They decide to marry in London, where Emily is from.

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This story originally ran on Nov. 20, 2013. We're rerunning it for Vulture's TV Couple Scuffle, in which we to determine the greatest couple on television in the past 30 years, and for those who were upset by the outcome of this round.
As Friends wrapped up its fourth season in May of 1998, Ross and Rachel's on/off relationship still provided the show's emotional core, with the other four roommates serving as the platonic Greek chorus to the couple's climactic kisses and "on-a-break"-dom. But then, in the second half of the season's hour-long finale - the one with Ross's ill-fated London wedding weekend with Emily - another duo surprisingly hooked up, much to the glee of audience members: Monica and Chandler. Their relationship would evolve as the complete opposite of Ross and Rachel's: long-kept secret from the other roommates, and healthy and strong until the series ended with them married, parents of adopted twins. Although pairing off sitcom characters is always a risky venture, especially when a show already has one successful couple, Monica and Chandler quickly became a fan-favorite romance, with viewers loving the chemistry between Courteney Cox and Matthew Perry. For Vulture's weeklong celebration of 1998, former Friends exec producer Scott Silveri, who co-wrote the episode with future wife Shana Goldberg-Meehan (and, as with most sitcoms, lots of input from the rest of the show's writing staff) explains the genesis of the relationship, the reservations that nearly stopped it from happening, and why he thinks it added years to the show's life.

Friends was nearly 100 episodes into its run before the show's writers played the Monica-and-Chandler card, but the coupling was something that almost happened earlier. The idea had been "kicking around" since before Silveri and Goldberg-Meehan joined the show in season three, he remembers, with his predecessors taking note of the chemistry between the two characters as early as the season-two episode "The One Where Ross Finds Out." That plot had Monica acting as a trainer for Chandler as he tried to shed a few excess pounds, and "there was a real fun dynamic between the two of them," Silveri says. "So even as early as that, they said, 'Oh, they're kind of special together. If we're ever looking for another relationship, that's something to file away.'"

The notion of Monica and Chandler was also seriously pitched in the writers' room in season three, Silveri says. "People got excited about the idea," he says, including himself among that group. Goldberg-Meehan, however, thought it was simply too soon in the show's life to introduce another couple. "She was the one who said, 'I just feel like at this point it would feel a little desperate,'" Silveri recalls. "We had gotten excited about the stories we could tell, but once she said that, we were all shamed and ran away. It became clear it was too early to explore something like that." Another reason the writers put a pin in the idea: "There was a little bit of relationship ennui among us writers," Silveri says. "We'd already done a lot of drama between Ross and Rachel. And nobody wanted it to become the 'Get Together and Break-up' show."

But after season three, with Ross and Rachel well into their legendary "break," the timing objections started to melt away. "We weren't so immersed in relationships," Silveri says. Plus, the logic of another coupling was starting to grow stronger, at least in the eyes of some of the writers. "The thinking was, if the show's going to be entertaining for years to come, it can't simply rest on this one [Ross and Rachel] relationship," Silveri says. "So it follows that if another pair got together, that would be fun and provide more story. And it's organic: If you get six friends together, all around the same age, there's gonna be a little mixing and matching as time goes on. It felt real." As they got together in summer of 1997 to map out story lines for the upcoming season four, the writers decided that bringing Monica and Chandler together would be, according to Silveri, "a great goal for the end of the season." They just needed to figure out how.

The writers knew they couldn't "do the exact same thing" as Ross and Rachel, Silveri explains. Their different approach mirrored how people often approach new romantic relationships, "which are often reactions to the last relationship you had," he says. "If someone's too high drama, you look for someone stable. And so with Monica and Chandler, we decided to roll out in a way that was a reaction to the last big relationship [the show] had." Specifically, they wanted to keep things low-key. "With Ross and Rachel, it was so public, it was experienced by the group," Silveri says. "Like, before there even was a 'Ross and Rachel,' there were the guys coaching Ross [about how to get her]. And then in the third season, with the breakup, it affected the six of them as much of the two of them. We'd ridden that bus as far as we cared to." So the mandate was to introduce Monica/Chandler in a way that "would be not too heavy, not too soap opera, but also something surprising."

What the writers came up with was definitely a shocker. Yes, some Friends fans probably saw hints of a relationship coming for a while; the first episode of season four had the twosome cutely bonding over a jellyfish sting. But it's hard to imagine even the most ardent 'shippers expecting the big reveal to happen during the wedding, when there was so much focus on about Rachel's emotions about Ross marrying someone else. The hookup happened suddenly in the last half of the show, with zero preamble; after Ross excitedly bursts into Chandler's hotel room then leaves, Monica pops out from under the covers and asks, "Do you think he knew I was here?" to much audience shrieking. (A season-seven episode, "The One With the Truth About London," revealed more details.) "The goal from the get-go was to treat Monica and Chandler's hookup as a surprise, a jolt in the second half of the hour-long episode to add some energy and fun," Silveri says. "The only real debate was around just how we'd get Monica and Chandler there that morning, how many crumbs to drop to lead the audience and the characters to the moment, all in hopes that the fact that they ended up in bed that morning wouldn't feel unmotivated and false." In earlier scenes at the rehearsal dinner, Chandler had tried to talk a drunk Monica out of her funk over having no boyfriend, and a drunk party guest mistaking her for Ross' mother. "Who wouldn't want you?" he asked. Says Silveri, "[We were] basically shooting for the spot between, 'This stinks, that never would have happened!'; and, 'This stinks, I saw that coming.' More of a delighted, 'That is surprising but also very satisfying and organic. It might not stink!'"

Silveri and the other producers got a sense of how viewers would react to their storytelling decisions months before the episode aired on NBC. With the episode shooting in London (where the show was also a hit) instead of Burbank, producers wanted to give as many locals the chance to see a taping as possible. So rather than following the standard practice of filming multiple takes of scenes, producers instead shot the episode all the way through, like a play, for three different studio audiences. "So we got to experience them seeing that [Monica and Chandler] scene three times," Silveri says. "The first time, I was huddled around a monitor, watching [the actors] perform. And when Monica popped up from beneath the sheets [after their hookup], there was just this explosion from the audience. It was a combination of a laugh/gasp/cry/shriek. They were just blown away by it. It was so intense, for the second or third takes, instead of watching the monitors, I just turned around and watched the audience." Today, of course, producers would've filmed that scene on a closed set, fearful that audience members would tweet about the moment the second they left the studio. "Before the dawn of social media, you could keep secrets," Silveri laughs. "We didn't have to worry about it."

But while in retrospect it all seemed like the perfect beginning to what would become a great TV relationship, Silveri insists that while he and Goldberg-Meehan wrote the London episode, they weren't sure the whole thing would last. Even later that year, when the writers returned from hiatus and began breaking stories for season five, "The question was, 'All right, is this something we dispense with after a week? [or] Is it something we explore a little more?'," he says. In fact, Silveri admits the London hookup was something of a trial balloon, designed to see how viewers reacted to the idea, and if Perry and Cox had the sort of sexual chemistry that producers thought they might. Co-creators Marta Kauffman and David Crane were always "eager to try things" on Friends, says Silveri, but they also always tried to make sure they didn't get stuck in boxes they couldn't get out of if need be. "They did that with all of the relationship arcs," Silveri explains. "With Courteney and Tom Selleck [in season two], if I'm not mistaken, there was no sense [at first] that was going to become a relationship with a capital 'R,'" he says. "They went into that, and it was going to be one episode, two tops. And then they had such good chemistry, the producers and the writers at the time decided to explore it a little more." So with Monica and Chandler, "There were plans, but there was no [final] decision," he says. "It was always, 'We're gonna see how it feels ... We're gonna see how it plays to the audience,' and then go forward from there. It was sound producing on their part."

The take-it-slow approach also helped smooth out another potential pitfall of Monica-Chandler: the actors. The writers knew Perry and Cox, along with the other four series regulars, were protective of their alter egos, particularly when it came to romantic entanglements within the group. "I'm remembering there were a lot of conversations about, 'Is this the right thing to do?'," Silveri says. "I don't think anybody balked too much at them hooking up. That felt natural. The fallout came in the following year, when it became a relationship. They were acutely sensitive to how it played out." That hesitation, plus the writers' own doubts, helped shaped the first half of season five. "We plotted it out in a self-protective way," he says. "It wasn't a relationship [the other characters were] talking about. Nobody knew about it. We as writers were almost as protective of it as those characters were. We didn't want to make too much of a deal about it too early. That's what you saw on the screen, but it's also how we experienced it. We didn't want to spend too much too fast. We didn't want it to be high drama. So we just kept taking baby steps forward and feeling our way through." And it seemed to work: Audiences embraced the two as a couple, and Perry and Cox ultimately accepted the idea as well. "Because of the way we eased into it, we sort of greased the machine," Silveri says.

In the end, the pairing of Monica and Chandler ended up rivaling that of the show's core romance, Ross and Rachel. It altered the show's dynamic, but didn't ruin it. This was no small feat: Most shows have trouble managing one big couple (see: New Girl), let alone two. And even Friends didn't make every coupling click: Joey and Rachel flirted with a relationship toward the end of the show's run, but the two didn't go all the way. ("They ultimately did feel more like a brother/sister relationship," Silveri says.) Monica and Chandler, however, just worked - and Silveri believes that success was a critical component to the show's ultimate longevity. "If you didn't have a Monica-and-Chandler relationship, if the center of Friends had remained Ross and Rachel, you would've seen a much shorter shelf life for the show," he says. "Without Monica and Chandler, it ends three years earlier. I don't owe my whole house to them, but at least two bedrooms and a bath are because of them."

Reruns of Friends air regularly on TBS, Nick at Nite ,and local TV stations. The full series is available on DVD or streaming on iTunes.

And Now We Will Listen to 15 One-Hit Wonders From 1998

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How Friends Decided to Pair Off Monica and Chandler

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This story originally ran on Nov. 20, 2013. We're rerunning it for Vulture's TV Couple Scuffle, in which we to determine the greatest couple on television in the past 30 years, and for those who were upset by the outcome of this round.

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Ross & Rachel's On and Off Again Romance

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Ross & Rachel's On and Off Again Romance

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There are a lot of important elements that make Friends the ten years of excellent TV it really is, but there's one common thread that runs through it all: Friends' central couple Ross and Rachel. From the pilot episode to the series finale, their relationship is a major plotline - even in the episodes where it feels like it isn't. And, recently, while re-watching the painfully awkward episodes where Joey and Rachel date (which never should have happened, TBH) in Season 10, I realized that Ross mentions, "We haven't been a couple in six years." Wait, WHAT? They may not have been in a formal relationship that long, but they're always "together." They're always a couple, right? And this timeline of Ross and Rachel's relationship will prove it.

Because as much as I love Monica and Chandler together, Ross and Rachel's relationship is clearly the OTP of the bunch. They were meant to be since they were teenagers - how many people can say that? And, now that the show has been over for a long time, I can only imagine they're living in the suburbs with a teenage Emma and the rest of their beautiful children, living happily ever after with tons of dinosaur figurines.

Do not try to argue with me: Theirs is one of the most epic love stories ever told, and here's everything that happened between them to prove it:

Pre-Series: The Hopeless High School Crush

In this time before the show - although we've seen flashbacks of most of it - Ross and Rachel meet, and then Ross goes to college and, unbeknownst to Rachel, almost takes her to the prom when Chip flakes on her. Aww.

Season 1: The Hopeless Adult Crush

In the pilot, Ross and Rachel reconnect for the first time in years when she leaves Barry at the altar, and they split an Oreo while Ross casually mentions he'd like to ask her out sometime... but unfortunately, that goes nowhere. Rachel doesn't find out how Ross really feels until the season finale, "The One Where Rachel Finds Out," and she rushes to the airport to tell Ross how she feels before he leaves for China.

Season 2: Rachel's Hopeless Adult Crush

Rachel tries to confess her feelings to Ross, but he gets off the plane with Julie - and the new gal is sweet, but she's clearly just a foil to their plot. A few episodes later, in "The One Where Ross Finds Out," he gets a message on his answering machine from Rachel about how over him she is, even though she is not, in fact, over him. He totally screws it up when Rachel finds out he actually made a pro/con list to dating her or Julie, and they don't finally get together until "The One With The Prom Video," when Rachel discovers Ross almost took her to the prom. He's her lobster!

Season 3: The Time They Were On A Break

Their relationship is going great... until Ross' becomes jealous of Rachel's coworker Mark. In "The One Where Ross and Rachel Take a Break," they kinda, sorta split up, but get back together the next morning - which leads to one of the most heartbreaking scenes in the entire show when Rachel finds out that Ross slept with Chloe the hot copy girl while they were "on a break."

Season 4: The Letter That Was 18 Pages (FRONT & BACK)

In "The One With The Jellyfish," Ross and Rachel almost get back together when he falls asleep reading a letter she wrote him that was 18 pages FRONT AND BACK. He doesn't realize he agrees to taking full responsibility for sleeping with Chloe, and their relationship quickly ends, again. Cue tears. Later in the season, while Ross is engaged to Emily, she realizes she has to stop him from getting married, but once she gets to London, all she can do is wish him luck.

Season 5: Ross' Second & Third Ruined Marriages

In the middle of his wedding to Emily, Ross accidentally says Rachel's name instead of his future wife's - awkward. Eventually, their marriage crumbles because she can't handle his friendship with Rachel, and I'm so glad it did, or else we would never have gotten the beautiful scenes of Ross and Rachel drunkenly married in Vegas.

Season 6: Mrs. Ross & Mr. Rachel Get Divorced

Ross and Rachel move in together, and Rachel has no idea they're still married - until they have to get a divorce later on. Not a lot of romance here, because Rachel is pissed.

Season 7: The Almost-Hook-Up

In "The One With Monica's Thunder," Ross and Rachel almost have sex because she's feeling bummed now that Monica's engaged and she's single. It never happens, even though Ross has the magic hands.

Season 8: The Time Ross Gets Rachel Pregnant

Rachel finds out she's pregnant with Emma, and tells Ross he's going to be a father. Later in the season, Joey tells Ross he has feelings for Rachel, and accidentally proposes to her after she gives birth when Ross wanted to ask her to start things back up again.

Season 10: She Got Off The Plane

The best part, guys: After the short lived Rachel/Joey relationship that I choose to pretend never happened, these two kids finally get their act together when Ross stops Rachel from going to Paris and they live happily ever after in the series finale.

See, they were always meant to be. Isn't love beautiful?
Images: Warner Bros. Television; cigarzonice, rock-on-ever, letsplaybamboozle, inplatformdoublesuade, justintaylor, aaaloz, jillyhowlett48, ohyeahfriendsyeah, kingdomofthedragon, shadowsonwater/Tumblr

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OK, But Were Ross & Rachel *Really* On A Break?

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There are a lot of important elements that make Friends the ten years of excellent TV it really is, but there's one common thread that runs through it all: Friends' central couple Ross and Rachel. From the pilot episode to the series finale, their...

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Pregnant Phoebe trying to warn everyone about Rachel, all the way from NYC

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Pregnant Phoebe trying to warn everyone about Rachel, all the way from NYC