# data[].attributes.body
Padlet Summary

# data[].attributes.body
Most would say that viewing of pornography is something that helps to spice of the marriage and add fire to the passion of the relationship. Others would say that it takes away from the personal connection and feel as though their partner prefers the imaginable to the real. Do you think that pornography poses a threat to marriage? Would you introduce pornography to your marriage as a way to increase passion? Is it wrong for couples to watch porn? Do the bible say anything against it?

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
AndreyPopov/iStock/Thinkstock

The final, and perhaps most damaging, reason couples fall into the 20 Percent Club is involvement in pornography on the part of one or both partners. One of the devastating effects of pornography and other sexually explicit material is that it sabotages the ability to enjoy normal sex. In many marriages, the husband isn't interested in sex with his wife because he has been programmed to respond to a much higher level of erotic stimulation.

After viewing material filled with perfectly shaped women doing wild and perverse acts, a man naturally may have difficulty becoming stimulated by his 40-year-old average-looking, reserved wife. In his clinical research, Dr. Victor Cline described this progression as "escalation":

With the passage of time, the addicted person required rougher, more explicit, more deviant and "kinky" kinds of sexual material to get their "highs" and "sexual turn-ons." It was reminiscent of individuals afflicted with drug addictions. Over time there is nearly always an increasing need for more of the stimulant to get the same initial effect.

Being married or in a relationship with a willing sexual partner did not solve their problem. Their addiction and escalation were mainly due to the powerful sexual imagery in their minds, implanted there by the exposure to pornography.

I have had a number of couple-clients where the wife tearfully reported that her husband preferred to masturbate to pornography than to make love to her.

Not only does porn present a higher level of sexual excitement than married sex, it also allows a man to have sex on his terms. Porn is always available, never too busy and always inviting. It doesn't criticize, doesn't require foreplay or patience, isn't dependent on "feeling close" and never has a headache. When a guy is engaged in this type of sexual outlet, his sexuality becomes centered on his immediate needs and demands. The prospect of working through the messy issues of marital intimacy is pretty unattractive.

While reading through the possible reasons for your membership in the 20 Percent Club, you may find that your marriage fits into more than one of the categories. In fact, one cause for sexual role reversal may even feed into the others. For example, Brent naturally has a lower sex drive than the average man. He never compared himself with other men or thought anything of it until his new wife, Amy, began complaining about wanting sex more often. As a young husband, Brent has been thrown off balance by Amy's lack of sexual fulfillment. He feels like a failure as a husband. If he can't effectively meet his wife's sexual needs, he must be a loser. Because of his fear of inadequacy, he begins withdrawing from Amy, failing to assert himself in all areas of their marriage. What began as a bell-curve difference has snowballed into a serious marital issue.

As you seek to address these multiple issues in your relationship, define them without blame. Regardless of how you got where you are, assigning blame to each other will only hamper your efforts to heal. Neither you nor your husband consciously chose to have a low sex drive, go through depression, experience childhood trauma or any of the other maladies that compromise your intimate life. Every couple has roadblocks to address, and this is yours.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
The Impact of Pornography on Marital Sex

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
The final, and perhaps most damaging, reason couples fall into the 20 Percent Club is involvement in pornography on the part of one or both partners. One of the devastating effects of pornography and other sexually explicit material is that it sabotages the ability to enjoy normal sex.

# data[].attributes.body
New ideas for contraceptives are being invented every day in order to maximize results for STD prevention and sexual enjoyment. One in particular is the invention of the Galactic Cap that doesn't cover the whole penis but only the head. The short clip attached explains the product and assures the FDA approval for successful contraceptives. Do you think that this is a good form of contraceptive? Would you feel more comfortable with this method or a condom? Do you believe it is safer or more of risk than regular condoms?

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
https://wefunder.com/galacticcaps In conjunction with the launch of our Wefunder Campaign we have once again lowered pricing on the Galactic Cap.

# data[].attributes.body
When we think about rape or sexual abuse is it more often attributed that men are the perpetrators and women are the victims. Has society allow for this stereotype to keep men from expressing their vulnerability and experiences of rape?...I would have to say yes. We have come to a place where we are easily to blame sex crimes on the "assumed" dominant sex and this leads to sometimes true, yet sometimes false accusations. Can women be sexually aggressive or use positions of power (i.e., supervisor roles) to initiate and demand sex? Although men are seen as the dominant gender, can men be raped? Do you feel there are similar emotions and mental distress for rape by women to a man, as for rape by a man to a woman?

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Photo by Rachel Bellinsky via Stocksy

There are many great things about the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's survey on sexual violence, according to UCLA law professor Lara Stemple. "The interviewer is trained to ask lots of questions and to maximize respondent comfort using check-ins," she explains. "Also, it's a health survey, which is a good context for people to think about their bodies and their own well-being."

But when it comes to reporting the outcomes of the survey, the CDC discounts men who have been forced to penetrate someone else-either by coercion, physical force, or lack of consent-by listing statistics for the crime under the category "other victimization," along with seemingly lesser offenses like "non-contact unwanted sexual experiences."

"They put it in the same broad category as being flashed or receiving lewd comments from a stranger," Stemple said. "There's no context, and it really minimizes the abuse."

Read more: Why Sweden Just Opened the First Male Rape Clinic in the World

The de-fanged language the CDC has adopted to label male victims of sexual assault underscores a worrying tendency among researchers as well as rape counselors and law enforcement officials, Stemple says. The implication: "For men, all sex is good sex."

"The way we talk about men and sex needs to change," Stemple says. "When we have these stereotypes for men, it makes it hard for them to come forward when they're victimized."

Stemple has long focused her research on how sexual violence against men goes under-reported. In 2014, she released a paper on male victims of sexual violence which analyzed several national surveys and found that, when taking into account cases where men were "made to penetrate" someone else, the rates of nonconsensual sexual contact between men and women were basically equal: 1.267 million men said they had been victims of sexual violence, compared with 1.270 million women.

The "made to penetrate" category is not the type of violation we imagine when we think of sexual assault, as Slate's Hanna Rosin wrote in a piece on Stemple's research in 2014. But it can result in similar psychological and physical effects, including sexual dysfunction, depression, loss of self-esteem, and long-term relationship difficulties.

I met a man who who was victimized by a woman when he was a child. He is, to this day, afraid to be alone in a room with a woman.

Although there is still much work to be done in order to understand the effects of sexual assault on male victims, Stemple's new research focuses on the perpetrators themselves. In a new study released yesterday, she and two other researchers examined four large-scale surveys from the CDC and the Bureau of Justice Statistics to better understand female sexual predator behavior, analyzing both male and female victims. The findings contradict widely held stereotypes about women being unlikely abusers.

"People think female perpetration is rare," Stemple says. "They think it's a fluke-like it's one high school teacher and a student. But it's very widespread, according to these surveys, and nobody seems to know that. It's astonishing to me."

The threat posed by female sexual predators has long been misunderstood and minimized by the research community. Although the possibility was first documented in research literature in the 1930s, systematic studies of sexual victimization perpetrated by women were not undertaken until the 1990s. Even at that point, research was underdeveloped-focusing, primarily, on child sexual abuse. It wasn't until the last decade that research on this topic has burgeoned.

Stemple's new, wide-ranging study presents the results of the CDC's most recent phone survey, which found that 68.6 percent of men who report sexual victimization describe female perpetrators. Meanwhile, among men who reported being made to penetrate-"the form of nonconsensual sex men are much more likely to experience in their lifetime," according to the study-79.2 percent cited female perpetrators.

People think female perpetration is rare. They think it's a fluke-like it's one high school teacher and a student.

The study's authors also looked at how female sexual predators operate behind bars. According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics surveys-which, unlike other surveys, uses frank terms like "blowjobs," which Stemple says improve accuracy-female inmates are much more likely to be abused by other female inmates than by male staff. Additionally, among all adult prisoners reporting any staff sexual victimization, 80 percent reported only female perpetrators; among juveniles, the rate was even higher, at 89.3 percent. Perhaps most surprisingly, given the picture painted by depictions of life in prison in popular culture, the same survey found that the incidence of sexual abuse among female prisoners was roughly three times the rate of that among male prisoners.

Given these statistics, it's all the more striking that so few women ever end up on sex offender registries. One five-state study of registries found that between 0.8 percent and 3 percent of the people on sex offender registries are female; other surveys have found proportions lower than 2 percent.

Then again, there are many barriers for men who wish to report sexual assault. According to Stemple's study, some are embarrassed to report because of the widespread perception of women as non-threatening. Others lie and say they were actually sexually assaulted by other men, or are pressured to reframe their victimization as a "rite of passage." As men grow older, studies show they're more likely to be blamed for their abuse than female victims.
For More Stories Like This, Sign Up for Our Newsletter
Gender stereotypes that portray men as essentially un-rapeable likely haven't helped reporting rates, either. A majority of college students surveyed in 1992 did not believe a "big, strong man [could] be raped by a woman," and college-aged respondents in a more recent 2012 survey said that a man raped by a woman would not be "very upset."

Victimization of women by other women has been studied "even less than opposite-sex female perpetration," according to the study. "Heterosexism can render lesbian and bisexual victims of female-perpetrated sexual victimization invisible to professionals," the study notes. "While a few rape crisis centers have created small lesbian-oriented programs, lesbian and bisexual women report that, in general, hotlines, support groups, and legal aid organizations that address sexual violence seem designed for those victimized by men."

"I met a man who does work on this issue, and who was victimized by a woman when he was a child," Stemple says. "He is, to this day, afraid to be alone in a room with a woman. As you can imagine, this is very uncomfortable for him to share with people; he thinks they'll find it shameful. Today, he'll talk about it as a survivor, but he's quite rare. You can imagine that other men would have this same fear of coming forward, especially if the perpetrator was female."

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
The Hidden Epidemic of Men Who Are Raped by Women

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Photo by Rachel Bellinsky via Stocksy There are many great things about the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's survey on sexual violence, according to UCLA law professor Lara Stemple. "The interviewer is trained to ask lots of questions and to maximize respondent comfort using check-ins," she explains.

# data[].attributes.body
There have been studies that show most people with STD are typically men from the ages of 15-25. They are described as being reckless individuals (both heterosexual and homosexual) who have unprotected sex and this attributes to the widespread of sexual diseases. Do you think it is fair to attribute the high prevalence of STDs to men? Are women not as equally reckless when having sex, even if that means agreeing to having unprotected sex? Who do you think is to blame?

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
New cases of sexually-transmitted diseases have risen in the past year because of unsafe sex among young heterosexuals and gay men, figures reveal.

Diagnoses in England rose by 2 per cent from 419,773 cases in 2010 to 426,867 last year.

The steepest rise was in gonorrhoea, which leapt 25 per cent from 16,835 cases to 20,965.

This was followed by diagnoses of syphilis, which rose by 10 per cent from 2,650 to 2,915. Genital herpes rose by 5 per cent from 29,794 to 31,154.

The Health Protection Agency said there was a 'significant rise' in the number of diagnoses among gay men.

There was also high rates among young heterosexuals between the ages of 15 and 24.

A four per cent fall in chlamydia cases in young adults was due to a worrying trend where fewer were being screened.

The agency was concerned at the rise in gonorrhoea cases.

Dr Gwenda Hughes, said: 'We have seen emerging resistance to the current frontline antibiotics that are used. We are worried that in the next five years gonorrhoea is going to be a very difficult infection to treat.'

Lisa Power, of the Terrence Higgins Trust, the HIV and sexual health charity, said: 'Increasing numbers of men who have sex with men are meeting online and through the use of apps on their phones. So we are starting to work in those areas.'

The HPA said it was essential that a condom is used with casual and new partners.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Rise in sexually transmitted diseases blamed on reckless men under 25

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
New cases of sexually-transmitted diseases have risen in the past year because of unsafe sex among young heterosexuals and gay men, figures reveal. Diagnoses in England rose by 2 per cent from 419,773 cases in 2010 to 426,867 last year. The steepest rise was in gonorrhoea, which leapt 25 per cent from 16,835 cases to 20,965.

# data[].attributes.headline
"It Takes Two Baby: Me, You,...oh yeah! & The Other Person"

# data[].attributes.subject
"It Takes Two Baby: Me, You,...oh yeah! & The Other Person"

# data[].attributes.body
Open marriages is something that is becoming more known and practiced within marriages today. It is assumed that this relationship allows for the individuals to receive a well-round experience in love and provide them with all aspects of their desires. In most marriages most partners will only find 60-80% of what they are looking for and open marriages allows for partners to search for that remaining 20-40%. Do you think it is possible to love two people and do so equally? What effects do you think open marriages have on children, if there are any? Do you believe that this is an effective way to maintain or save a marriage from ending; would you participate?

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
I was recently interviewed for a New York Times article by Tammy La Gorce that portrayed the long-term open marriage of the actress Mo'Nique and her husband Sidney Hicks. The couple maintains that it works for them, despite the criticism and disbelief they often encounter. La Gorce's article quoted my views about open marriage-what it means, and whether it "works," from a psychological perspective.

Because my views contrasted sharply with some of the others cited, especially those of Helen Fisher of the Kinsey Institute, I'm elaborating on them here.

First, the open marriage is just the current version of what became more visible in the early '70s through the book, The Open Marriage, and the popular movie, Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice. Overall, it's part of a much broader shift, or evolution, underway today, toward a sense of greater freedom to create and be open about different forms of intimate relationships-ones that people define for themselves as desirable and satisfying.

Increasingly, men and women seek to create and maintain an intimate relationship that they experience as fulfilling and meaningful-and that they define themselves, not by others or conventional norms. How their relationships evolve down the road, over time, is something they will assess and judge for themselves. And we can see what the evidence shows.

It's wise to suspend judgment, especially about psychological health, when views about the latter are contaminated by ideology or shared values and norms. As you grow through the adult years in a changing, increasingly diverse society, a broadened perspective enables you to realize that life can be complex, and can work differently for different people.

For example, Kim (not her real name) a divorced woman in her 40s, explained to me that she maintains a satisfying relationship with a man who also has a lifelong, supportive connection with the woman who is the mother of his three children. They find it works for them, given their life circumstances. And we can judge them from our own perspectives and life choices-or observe and respect what works for them.

To understand why some men and women may choose different kinds of relationships (open marriage is just one variety) we need to see them within that larger context-the variety of ways that people explore different kinds of emotional and sexual relationships. That includes evolving views about what defines "family," as well as couplehood.

Take polyamory, for example, in which people have multiple partnerships at once with the full knowledge of all involved. There's even an annual conference for polyamory and research finding that some polyamorous people report feeling energized by their multiple relationships-they say that good feelings in one translate to good feelings in others.

The open marriage is now usually described as a consensually non-monogamous (CNM) relationship. And some recent research finds that up to 40 percent of men and up to 25 percent of women in a monogamous relationship said they would switch to a CNM if they lived in a world where everyone had open relationships. In fact, the research finds a continuum along which some people are completely monogamous, others are completely nonmonogamous, and many more are somewhere in between.

Many couples prefer permanent cohabitation, rather than marriage, and may refer to each other as "husband" or "wife," despite not being formal married. And they are comfortable maintaining this form of relationship while raising children. They may view marriage as not so much a path to happiness but simply a legal contract "that doesn't innately legitimize a commitment" - and which they don't need.

Some even suggest that polygamy will become increasingly accepted as a form of relationship, and that it may become the next frontier in marriage and family law. The reasoning is that if states are able allowing two men or two women to wed, then the next step could be to decriminalize marriage between one man and several women (or vice versa).

How people define their families is yet another dimension of evolving relationships, as people's intimate partnerships impact what "family" really means. The family has become increasingly more diverse-ethnically, racially, religiously and in what couplehood looks like within it- according to new studies.

Critics of such shifts and the experimental forms of relationship they reflect are frozen within an ideological or personal viewpoint. Consider Fisher's comments in the New York Times article asserting that open marriages "...never end up working long-term"; that the reasons are "biological"; and that "open marriages establish all kinds of unworkable rules for what is and isn't allowed....They're people who want it all: to preserve their deep attachment to one partner and have romance with others. But what they don't tell you is that our brains don't do that very well."

However, there's no evidence for Fisher's assertions, as relationship columnist Dan Savage explained in detail in his recent essay about the Times article. Assertions like Fisher's are personal and ideological convictions, not science.

Returning to the Times article, Mo'Nique and Hicks say they believe they have the foundation for a union that will last. "Defining what makes a marriage work is like asking one's interpretation of success," Hicks said. "It's defined a different way by every person you ask." Mo'Nique said: "For us, it's defined by openness and not fear. What we have is real and honest."

Their comments reflect the actual experiences of people. They highlight the importance of understanding and learning from the psychological and social experiences of what people are actually doing-and being open to what those experiences reveal over time about the range of relationships that can support positive lives and wellbeing among people in our continuously evolving world.
dlabier@CenterProgressive.org Progressive Impact Center for Progressive Development © 2016 Douglas LaBier

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Are Open Marriages Psychologically Healthy for Couples?

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
I was recently interviewed for a New York Times article by Tammy La Gorce that portrayed the long-term open marriage of the actress Mo'Nique and her husband Sidney Hicks. The couple maintains that it works for them, despite the criticism and disbelief they often encounter.

# data[].attributes.body
When you here the term "sexual harassment" it is more often associated with a man acting against a female. The prevalence of sexual harassment is higher among woman than men and there are more reports of this harassment made by women than men as well. Why do you think this is? Do you believe that due to man's pride they are less likely to be willing to report such harassment?

It is often assumed that men are more sexually deviant and/or promiscuous than women, therefore if happened to be in a predicament of alleged harassment is more likely due to wanted attention and display of sexual interest. Do you agree with this?

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
While over half of all women in the workplace report experiencing some form of sexual harassment on the job, the issue of sexual harassment of men is starting to get more media attention.

According to a recent survey, about one-third of all working men reported at least one form of sexual harassment in the previous year. Of the 7,809 sexual harassment charges filed in 2011 with the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commision (EEOC), 16.1 percent were filed by men. By 2013, this had risen to 17.6 percent.

Despite the serious consequences that can stem from sexual harassment, whether it involves men or women, sexual harassment against men is often not taken that seriously. There has been extensive research looking at how sexual harassment can affect women, both in terms of the emotional consequences and reduced job prospects, but fewer studies have looked at how men are affected.

But what is sexual harassment exactly? Though it can take different forms, it generally falls into three distinct categories:

Sexual coercion involving job-related threats or bribes to force unwilling workers to enter into a sexual relationship with the harasser. One example of this is when an employer threatens to fire an employee if he/she doesn't agree to sex. While often the most damaging, most harassment tends not to be this blatant.

Unwanted sexual attention involving unwelcome sexual advances towards someone else in the workplace that are regarded as unwelcome or offensive. This can include sexual touching and pressuring for a date. Since it can involve threats or bribes, there can be considerable overlap between this category and the first one.

Then there is gender harassment involving hostile behavior aimed at undermining workers simply due to their gender. This can include denigrating comments, off-color jokes that are intended to be offensive, mocking, and even violent threats. Women expressing strong feminist ideals are often targeted this way. While this is the most common form of sexual harassment in the workplace, it is also the least likely to be seen as harassment.

Both women and men have reported experiencing these three forms of sexual harassment in the workplace, with other men being most likely to be the perpetrators. Men belonging to sexual minorities are particularly vulnerable to this kind of treatment, which can also overlap with displays of outright homophobia. As I've already mentioned, women expressing strong feminist beliefs about issues such as birth control, abortion, or anything that can challenge existing gender biases are especially vulnerable to being harassed. But what about men whose behavior challenges the existing gender hierarchy?

Employers and employees often expect men to act as masculine as possible, and anything that deviates from that is more likely to get them harassed. For example, men who take time off to care for their children may experience more gender harassment in the workplace as a result. Since women are expected to do most of the actual childcare, men may find their careers affected if they deviate from traditional gender roles. Also, men who openly support feminist causes or who are seen as "unmasculine" may get harassed as well.

Probably the strongest predictor for sexual harassment in a workplace is whether there is widespread tolerance for this kind of treatment. Companies that have strong anti-harassment policies in place provide the best protection for men and women, who otherwise find they have no choice but to quit their jobs to escape harassment. While there are federal and state protections in place, they often involve pursuing a case through the courts, and many people simply don't have the resources to see this through. For people who can't afford to quit, staying silent may be seen as the only option.

Again, though, most research looking at sexual harassment focuses on women, with relatively few studies dealing with men who are harassed. A new research study published in the journal Psychology of Men and Masculinity tries to address this gap and examine some of the factors that can increase the chances of men facing harassment on the job. Carried out by Kathryn J. Holland of the University of Michigan and a team of fellow researchers, the study surveyed over 600 men and women recruited online and questioned them about their own experiences with harassment. Along with looking at the different ways that men can be harassed, the research study also explored some of the factors that can increase the likelihood of harassment. And the results might be surprising.

In the study, data was collected using Amazon's Mechanical Turk platform. Of the 655 men and women surveyed, all of whom reported previous experience with harassment, 326 men were used in the study. Of these, the average age was 32, and most worked full-time in a wide range of different jobs. Twenty percent of the men sampled made $25,000 a year or less, and only 11 percent made more than $100,000 a year.

On average, the people in the study reported experiencing at least one form of gender harassment as part of their working lifetime. This included things such as having someone associated with their work (whether supervisor, coworker, or workplace visitor) engaging in one of eight gender harassment activities, such as "Repeatedly told sexual stories or jokes that were offensive to you," "Referred to people of your gender in insulting or offensive terms," etc. Also, the men in the study reported experiencing at least one form of sexual advance harassment in the previous year, including activities such as "Touched you in a way that made you feel uncomfortable" or "Implied faster promotions or better treatment if you were sexually cooperative," etc.

As expected, the likelihood of experiencing either gender harassment or sexual advance harassment rose sharply in organizations that were more likely to tolerate that kind of behavior. Men who deviated from "traditional" stereotypes of masculinity, whether by belonging to a sexual minority or being actively involved in feminist causes, were far more likely to experience some form of harassment. These study results also demonstrate that backlash was particularly common against heterosexual men who challenge traditional gender roles.

Not surprisingly, sexual harassment, whether in the form of verbal or physical abuse, had a negative effect on job satisfaction and psychological well-being. Still, being active in feminist causes can also help protect against the negative effects of this kind of harassment, since it can make men feel empowered about their basic rights.

One key finding for this study was to demonstrate how important organizational policies against sexual harassment are for women and for men. People working for organizations that tolerate harassment are most likely to experience these kinds of incidents, and the negative effects that harassment has on employees can't be underestimated. Developing gender-fair policies and training programs to curb sexual harassment needs to focus on all the different ways that harassment can occur, including gender harassment of men and women.

Though this particular study was limited to sexual harassment as it occurs in the United States, it is important to develop a better understanding of the kinds of sexual harassment of men and women found in different cultures. Also, this study provides some insight into the impact of widespread ideas about masculine roles and how they can affect people at work.

As organizations develop better policies to protect employees from different forms of sexual harassment, it will be important to understand these kind of attitudes and what they can mean for how people relate to each other in the workplace.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
While over half of all women in the workplace report experiencing some form of sexual harassment on the job, the issue of sexual harassment of men is starting to get more media attention. According to a recent survey, about one-third of all working men reported at least one form of sexual harassment in the previous year.

# data[].attributes.body
Fellowship amongst brothers and male friends is common within male and male relations. "Bro-time" or "hanging with the guys" are times for male bonding and a way to either demonstrate competition of male dominance or to seek reassurance from the commonalities in work/struggles of life. Homophobia is common within the male sex and public displays of dislike is shown as well. Althought there is a line of tolerance for men who are homosexual, straight men still participate in activities with their closest friends which could be labeled as intimate or hypersensitive. Is there a clear line of difference between bromance and homosexuality? Can someone who is homophobic be involved in a bromance and if so, do you see it as being conntradictory?

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Men will be men - that's for sure. But does cuddling with another guy make you "gay"? Guess not. If studies are to be believed, straight men do sleep together, and this change forms an integral part of the changing social habits noticed among heterosexual men. The study was recently published in "Men and Masculinities" which clearly talks about how 98% of college men have shared their bed with another man. If numbers are to be believed, 93% of the men observed in the study have also reported to have spooned or cuddled with another guy during their college days. Pretty shocking, isn't it?

The Changing Concepts of Manhood

No longer are men stuck in the age old of bonds of stereotyping. Instead, they are breaking the constraints and resurfacing, only to prove that snuggling and cuddling with other men does not make them any different than their peers.

As per sociologists, Mark McCormack and Eric Anderson, of Durham University, the outlook of men towards other men has become softer and more adaptive; thereby paving the way for a newer generation. As the fear of homophobia is decreasing, men are accepting other men with a "softer side" as and when compared to the older generations. Related read: How men are improving their dating game with The Tao Of Badass

As the fear of homophobia is decreasing, men are accepting other men with a "softer side" as and when compared to the older generations.

Basing their study on a group of athletes, Mark and Eric delved deeper in to the study of the human psychology with an intent to figure out how the phenomenon of hugging and cuddling works in men. While this served to be the main food for thought, they also wanted to determine the benefits and the gains men get by shunning the age old myths of homophobia.

Older Generations vs Newer Generations

If a comparison was to be carried out between the two generations, a stark revelation would come to the fore. While older generations have always considered men hugging and cuddling to be a taboo, the newer generation is finding it more and more acceptable to share their emotions with other men. Related read: Dating guru reveals badass tips to attract women

Terming the new relationship as 'bromance', Matt, one of the subjects in the study, duly noted that he and Connor are extremely close to each other. Matt remarked how often he cuddles with Connor, his best mate, when they are lying on the bed. Matt even remarked how often he rests his head on Connor's shoulder when they are sitting together on the couch. Does this make them 'gay'? Guess not, people!!!

********************************************

Gents, Check These Out ...

********************************************

While older generations have always considered men hugging and cuddling to be a taboo, the newer generation is finding it more and more acceptable to share their emotions with other men.

Earlier men who liked the company of other men (not sexually), did not come out in the open with a fear to be earmarked as homosexual. But given the paradigm shift in the thoughts and behavior of the newer generation, men are becoming more receptive towards their peers and are looking at venting out their emotions with each other as compared to the older generations.

The Changing Face of Bromance

Straight men will remain straight men, even if they cuddle and sleep, or share each other's woes. As homophobia goes out of the window, many people are investing in the concept of being human, and appreciating the bonding with each other. Just because you're a man, who likes the company of other men, will not make you 'gay'. So enjoy your 'bromance' and let the brotherhood stay on for generations to come.

How about you? Would you cuddle up with your bro friend?

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
The Evolution of Bromance: It's Not A Gay Thing | BehavioralEcology.net

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Men will be men - that's for sure. But does cuddling with another guy make you "gay"? Guess not. If studies are to be believed, straight men do sleep together, and this change forms an integral part of the changing social habits noticed among heterosexual men.

# data[].attributes.body
The has been a myth of men experiencing a monthly cycle just as women with some differences. The cycle is said to be completed with one 24 hour cycle or 48 for some, but the cycle is due to lowered amounts of testosterone. This cycle can mimic symptoms of that of a female cycle such as irritability, mood swings, and other things. Do you think this is possible, do men have a period?

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Stomach cramps, mood swings, and hot flashes are all tell-tale signs it's that time of the month for women - and men. A new survey conducted by VoucherCloud (Think UK version of Groupon) found a quarter of men believe they experience monthly "man periods," suffering premenstrual (PMS) symptoms from cramps to food cravings.

Jed Diamond, therapist and author of The Irritable Male Syndrome, has done some exploring on the existence of the man period in the past and believes "men have hormonal cycles just as women do." Contrary to popular belief, men become violent when their testosterone levels go down, where irritability, depression, and withdrawal come with a deficiency of the hormone. Testosterone levels in young men can fluctuate as much as four times daily. However, what is less clear is how these levels vary day by day and week by week.

To explore this man period phenomenon, VoucherCloud asked the male survey respondents of over 2,400 (50 percent men and 50 percent women) if they frequently suffered the same common side effects of PMS that women experience during their menstrual cycle, including tiredness, cramps, and increased sensitivity. The results revealed 26 percent of men experience these feelings on a regular basis, while more shockingly, 58 percent of their female partners believed them. Men identified several PMS-related symptoms as signs of their "man periods," such as constant hunger to general irritability. Males (12 percent) confessed they were "more sensitive about personal weight," while some (5 percent) suffered from "menstrual cramps."

Furthermore, 43 percent of female respondents claimed they offered special support to their partners during this time of the month. When asked how they had done so, some ways included "try and cheer him up" (44 percent) and "walk around on egg shells" (39 percent). Out of those who didn't believe their partners had man periods, 33 percent told their partner to "man up."

When it comes to spending during man periods, the average male spent an additional $124.62 on food and snacks per month, including takeout, compared to those who didn't believe in the phenomenon. Men who believed they suffered from menstrual symptoms reportedly spent an extra $97.35 per month to combat their increased food cravings.

A similar 2009 study found a woman's menstrual cycle does influence her spending habits. In the 10 days before a woman's period begins, she's more likely to go on a shopping spree and overspend about $27. The researchers suggest these women were shopping excessively as a way to deal with negative emotions they experience during their cycle. For example, stress and depression moved some women to shop to cheer themselves up and regulate their emotions.

So, perhaps there is some scientific validity to man periods. A 2004 study suggested men suffer from PMS symptoms as badly as women. The men scored higher than women in depression; lack of arousal; hot flashes and pain, including stomach cramps, back pain, and headaches. The researchers suspected the reason these men complained more than women is because of their difference in pain thresholds. Women could experience more pain, but don't give it as much attention.

However, ladies should not fear having synchronized periods with men they're in a relationship with. "In our research only women's cycles synch with each other, men's don't synch with other men's or women's - so women in a relationship with each other can often experience that," Diamond told The Daily Beast.

If you see a man cranky and incredibly hungry, offer him some greasy food and a beer, he may be on his man period.

Sources: Pine KJ. Report on a survey into female economic behavior and the emotion regulatory role of spending. Sheconomics. 2009.

Aubeeluck A. British Psychological Society. 2004.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Stomach cramps, mood swings, and hot flashes are all tell-tale signs it's that time of the month for women - and men. A new survey conducted by VoucherCloud (Think UK version of Groupon) found a quarter of men believe they experience monthly "man periods," suffering premenstrual (PMS) symptoms from cramps to food cravings.

# data[].attributes.body
It has been long known that women have shared stories about faking orgasms during having sex. There are ego, mental, and emotional damages that are placed upon men when finding out that their partner has not reached satisfaction during intercourse. Today there have been studies of men who claim to have similar experiences and are able to fake orgasms. Based on biological references, do you think it is actually possible for men to fake an orgasm while participating in sexual stimulation? Are there similar affects to females' egos in the inability to satisfy their male partners?

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
People always talk (and joke) about women faking orgasms. But, it turns out, men do it too. According to a recent study in Sexual and Relationship Therapy, guys fake it way more than you'd think.

For the study, researchers surveyed 230 American and Canadian men ages 18 to 29 (who had admitted to faking an orgasm) about their sexual experiences over the past four months. The participants reported faking orgasms during a full 30 percent of their sexual encounters. Granted, these were only men who 'fessed up to faking, but other research shows that's pretty common: One 2010 study in the Journal of Sex Research found that 28 percent of men had faked it before.

This new study found that men faked orgasms during all types of sexual acts but particularly during P in V intercourse. The most common reason they cited was to give their partner an ego boost. Other motives were to be sexy, to avoid upsetting their partners, and because they were drunk. And, if you suspect your partner's been doing this, rest assured: The least common reason guys have faked it is because the sex or partner was unappealing.

So is this a problem? The study actually found that men who faked orgasms were happier with their relationships both sexually and romantically. They also tended to fake orgasms to make their partners happy or to create the illusion of a simultaneous orgasm, so it was really done with the best of intentions.

Faking it to give your partner extra pleasure may not be the worst thing, but if the sex isn't doing it for you, it's better to say something, the authors concluded: "When orgasm is simulated because the sex is not satisfying, or because the partner is not desired, men can be encouraged to explore ways to enhance pleasure in sex, or to communicate with their partners about activities which they ﬁnd arousing and satisfying."

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
People always talk (and joke) about women faking orgasms. But, it turns out, men do it too. According to a recent study in Sexual and Relationship Therapy, guys fake it way more than you'd think. For the study, researchers surveyed 230 American and Canadian men ages 18 to 29 (who had admitted to faking an orgasm) about their sexual experiences over the past four months.

# data[].attributes.body
A common controversial topic of sex today is about virginity and the portrayal of purity. Virginity today, still holds a double standard in general roles/expectancies, where it is encouraged for men to lose theirs and for women to guard their innocence and refrain from sex. The idea of the "born again virgin" has become immensely popular among women. They are actively seeking and participation in hymen reconstruction surgery in attempts of regaining their essence of purity and being remarked as a virgin. In this attempt to regain their stature of innocence, has the concept of spiritual rebirth been taken out of proportion? Does this idea go against today's Christian worldview perspecive

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
In a world of extreme makeovers where human bodies are now fashioned to order, this may be the ultimate plastic surgery. It is for women only. It is veiled in secrecy. And it fixes a tiny part of the anatomy rarely mentioned in polite company.

You may know it by a variety of slang terms. Technically, it's the hymen, a thin membrane that partially covers the opening of the vagina. A girl who has never had sexual intercourse is supposed to have her hymen intact.

Now, a new surgical technique is giving girls with a past a new future.

"The hymen's a delicate membrane that separates girls from women," said Dr. Robert Stubbs, who runs the Cosmetic Surgicentre in Toronto, where, in a simple, half-hour operation, he turns sexually experienced women into surgical virgins.

The surgery is called hymen restoration - a relatively simple procedure that stitches back together what a moment of passion might have shattered.

'Queen of Virginity'

In New York City, the operation has created a new class of royalty: "They call me the Queen of the Virginity, " says Cuban-born Esmeralda Venegas, who runs the Ridgewood Health and Beauty Center in Queens.

Here, board-certified plastic surgeons repair the thin membrane, either by stitching the frayed ends together or by adding a patch of tissue from the vaginal walls. Either way, it's a procedure that's a lot easier and less dangerous than the usual nips and tucks women come here for.

But the psychic pain associated with the decision to undergo the surgery is immense. We met one young woman, a 17-year-old we'll call Rosalita, who - forced by centuries of tradition - traveled incognito to Venegas' clinic.

"I heard when I was young that all the girls that get married, they bled for the first time," Rosalita said.

For Rosalita, the idea that brides should bleed on their wedding night was very important.

"Yeah, that's important, because they know that you are a virgin," she said.

But Rosalita is not a virgin. She's come to the clinic to regain what she lost during a recent vacation - a moment of lust, she says, not love.

Rosalita is from the Dominican Republic and lives in New Jersey with her mother. She doesn't have a boyfriend right now, but believes she'll never get married without at least the illusion of virginity.

Catering to a Culture of Machismo

She's not alone. Venegas says several hundred scared young women from many cultures - Latinas, Mideasterners, Chinese, Koreans - have paid her $2,500 each to have their hymens restored. Sure, it's a business, she says, but what's behind the practice makes Venegas angry.

"It's about machismo, 100 percent," she said.

In fact, the hymen is not a reliable marker of virginity. In many girls, it is torn or destroyed during active sports. But that hasn't tarnished its allure. And even if it's fake, Stubbs is willing to go along with the ruse.

When asked whether he believed that by restoring a woman's hymen he was restoring her virginity, Stubbs said: "Well, what is virginity? Virginity is not well defined."

Necessary Deception?

But, in fact, a woman who's had sexual relations is not a virgin, and by restoring the hymen Stubbs and other surgeons are allowing patients to be deceptive.

"Yes. Oh, I agree. I mean, I'm not saying it's not deceptive," he said. "But there are little white lies and big lies."

That deception is acceptable, says Stubbs, for patients whose culture makes this surgery far more serious ... perhaps a matter of life and death.

A young woman we'll call Fatima has gone to Stubbs' clinic. She says she doesn't like the thought of deceiving a future husband, but says she feels she must.

"I'm not going to feel comfortable to lie to him. But I guess I have to lie to protect the relationship," she said.

Fatima, 20 or so, is from the Middle East and came to the Toronto area with her family as a teenager. A Muslim, she says her family is not observant, but is very traditional. So every time she met with her ex-boyfriend she had to sneak out of the house and lie to her parents.

Her parents also don't know that she's come to Stubbs' clinic. "I could never ever tell them that, never. I would tell them anything, but not this," she said.

Fatima says if she is not a virgin when she gets married she would be humiliated - and maybe killed, perhaps even by her parents.

Honor Killing

Fatima is talking about honor killing ... a ghastly, ancient ritual in the Middle East. We traveled to Cairo, Egypt, to learn about the roots of the practice, and were told it rarely happens today, but is always a possibility in a culture where the virginity of a bride belongs to the whole family.

"For them, if she loses her virginity, that means she has disgraced the whole family," according to Iman Bibars, a woman who has long fought to raise the status of Egyptian women - especially poor women, for whom, Bibars says, "virginity is their most valuable possession."

But astoundingly, this precious item doesn't even belong to the women themselves.

"It is something that belongs to their father and their brother and their uncle that they have to keep in a safe place until the family approves of how they give it away," she said.

Put another way, "The honor of the family and of the men are in between the legs of the woman," Bibars said.

Equality - Except When It Comes to Sex

To illustrate just how ingrained this notion is in traditional Arabic cultures, consider this: In Arabic, the hymen is referred to colloquially as "wish al-bent," or "face of the girl." In other words, without it, you have no identity, you are no one.

Even very hip, well-off university students in Cairo hold this belief.

Students we spoke with agreed that is very important for women to remain virgins before marriage. They said that among their friends, girls don't have sex before they get married.

"It's the notion that women are a very pure thing, very pure creatures that, men shouldn't touch women out of anything but a sacred relationship that is marriage," one female student said.

The young men - who study and work with the women as equals - heartily agreed. They all expected that the women they marry will be virgins.

Yet they don't have to be virgin grooms, nor does any other man in this supposed equal society.

The male students acknowledged that there is equality in many aspects of their society - except in the area of virginity.

In fact, the female students said they thought it was unlikely that the men they marry will be virgins.

These students said they'd heard about hymen restoration for women, but don't really approve of it. One student said she'd live alone rather than live a lie.

But other female students said that if a woman who has had sex really wants to get married, she should go ahead and have the operation.

In Cairo, as in much of the Middle East, the operation is a secret, not only for the patients, but for the doctors as well. There is no law against hymen reconstruction, but it carries such a stigma that no physician 20/20 contacted there would either admit it was being done or even talk about it.

Nevertheless, Stubbs says he's received e-mails from doctors in Egypt and all around the world asking him to explain how to do the surgery. He is the acknowledged expert.

Some of these women have to be examined by a gynecologist before their wedding night, so the surgery has got to be convincing. But Stubbs says he thinks he can fool even a gynecologist.

And best of all, says Stubbs, he can fool the family on the wedding night, when the bride will, as required, bleed.

Caught Between Tradition and a New Reality

Back in New York, that's Rosalita's goal for the procedure.

Like all the women we talked to, she knows that a few sutures don't really make her a virgin again. And that simple surgery doesn't close the culture gap. But for a generation caught between the traditions of their past and the reality of their lives today, this little operation at least offers an alternative to dishonor, or even the possibility of death.

Fatima, who underwent the procedure at Stubbs' clinic, wants people in her culture to understand what she's going through and perhaps reconsider their long-held beliefs.

"I'm trying to give them a message; maybe they would try to change a bit - and forget about the old fashion and move on to more important things in life."

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Women Have Surgery to 'Restore' Virginity

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
In a world of extreme makeovers where human bodies are now fashioned to order, this may be the ultimate plastic surgery. It is for women only. It is veiled in secrecy. And it fixes a tiny part of the anatomy rarely mentioned in polite company.You may know it by a variety of slang terms....

# data[].attributes.body
This article focuses on the idea and participation of sex from a Christian worldview perspective. God created us as sexual beings and for sexuality to be apart of our lives. From a Christian perspective although God has created us as such, there are stipulations placed on sex. If sex is good and apart of our nature, then why do we hide from it, shunning those publicly, while embracing it secretly?

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
If you stood up in class and encouraged others to follow God's plan for sex, people would think you were trying to outlaw happiness.

You'd have to work hard to explain that God is not against sex. In fact, he considers it something good. It was, after all, his idea. God could have made us reproduce the way plants do, with floating spores and pollen. But he preferred human life to spring from the exultant, loving embrace of intercourse. So it only makes sense that the all-knowing God who invented sex should know how it can best be celebrated. God wouldn't sacrifice his own Son to redeem us, and then turn around to arbitrarily spoil our fun.

When God gives direction for sex, he does it either to protect us from harm, or to provide for our needs. Or both.

The Bible is very frank about sex. There's not a prudish note from Genesis to Revelation.

A whole book (the Song of Solomon) celebrates the sensuality of erotic love. The Bible reflects exactly the attitude you'd expect from an inventor writing about his invention. God, better than anyone else, appreciates what his invention means. He understands how it works and knows exactly what it's good for. He tells us how to use it-and how not to.

So what is God's view of sex? Simple: Sex is wonderful within marriage. Outside of marriage, it's an offense to the inventor.

Why marriage? Isn't a really committed relationship close enough? Nope. According to the Bible, only the commitment a man and a woman make in the ceremony of marriage counts. Marriage is the only place to experience truly committed love, love that echoes our relationship with God.

Husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church. He gave up his life for her. ... In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man is actually loving himself when he loves his wife ( Ephesians 5:25, 28).

It was that way from the beginning, when Adam and Eve were created and presented to each other by God:

"At last!" Adam exclaimed.

"She is part of my own flesh and bone!" ... This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Now, although Adam and his wife were both naked, neither of them felt any shame (Genesis 2:23-25).

That's the ideal, the dream, as the Bible sees it: total nakedness, total unity, total love, total sexual satisfaction within marriage. Plenty of marital problems parade the pages of Scripture-God is no fool. But the ideal stands above the failures.

The Bible doesn't mince words about behavior that falls short of the ideal. Jesus, particularly, made his views plain. Though he never married, he spoke with absolute authority (like an inventor) against abuses like fornication (sex between people who are not married), adultery and divorce. He said of married people:

Since they are no longer two but one, let no one separate them, for God has joined them together (Matthew 19:6).

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
If you stood up in class and encouraged others to follow God's plan for sex, people would think you were trying to outlaw happiness. You'd have to work hard to explain that God is not against sex. In fact, he considers it something good. It was, after all, his idea.

# data[].attributes.headline
To Taboo or Not To Taboo?...That is the Question

# data[].attributes.subject
To Taboo or Not To Taboo?...That is the Question

# data[].attributes.body
When it comes to sex and the initiation of the act, it has always been assumed that men should assume the role as "initiators". Even though sex is not as taboo of a subject as in the past, the existence of double standards are still prevalent today. So I bring to question if whether or not it is taboo for a woman to initiate the want for having sex, being either in or out of a relationship?