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Share some kind words, a video, or image with others. To share, scroll down the column, click the + sign.

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Share the memory of a loved one, celebrity, person you know, that has died of suicide.

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To share, scroll down the column, click the + sign and add a photo, name, or link.

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Acknowledge the situation

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Express your concern

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Reflect on their emotions

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Be genuine in your communication and don't Hide your feelings

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Offer your support

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I know how you feel

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Look at what you have to be thankful for

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They are in a better place now

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This is behind you; it's time to get on with your life.

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Saying, "You should..." or "You will.." Instead you could begin your comments with: "Have you thought about.." or "You might..."

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I am available by email, text and phone call on Mondays and Wednesdays
Email: lperino@mtsac.edu
Phone number: (714) 805-6477

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I am available by phone, text and e-mail on Mondays and Tuesday.
E-mail: jguevara40@mtsac.edu
Phone number: 818-963-9420

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https://www.mtsac.edu/equitycenter/social-work-referral.html

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909-274-4400
Bldg. 67B
Fall Hours: Monday-Thursday 8:30am-4:30pm Friday 8am-4:30pm
Bldg. 9E
Fall Hours: Monday-Thursday 8:30am-4:30pm Friday 8am-12pm

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https://bit.ly/mtsac-meditation

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Emergency Contact Information
If you are having a medical emergency or mental health crisis, call Police and Campus Safety at (909) 274-4555 or dial 911

Suicide Prevention Hotline
1 - (800) 273-8255

Crisis Text Line
Text COURAGE to 741741

Go to your nearest Emergency Room

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Mt. SAC Mental Health Services Appointment Link and Info

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Mt. SAC Mental Health Services Appointment Link and Info

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https://www.mtsac.edu/healthcenter/mentalhealth/

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Suicide is the 2nd Leading Cause of Death Among College-Aged Individuals 

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Suicide is the 2nd Leading Cause of Death Among College-Aged Individuals 

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Talking about wanting to die, feeling great guilt or shame, and feeling like a burden to others

Feeling empty, hopeless, trapped, or having no reason to live

Feeling extremely sad, more anxious, agitated, or full of rage

Feeling unbearable emotional or physical pain

Making a plan or researching ways to die

Withdrawing from friends, saying good bye, giving away important items, or making a will

Taking dangerous risks such as driving extremely fast

Displaying extreme mood swings

Eating or sleeping more or less

Using drugs or alcohol more often

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Previous suicide attempt

Mental illness, such as depression

Social isolation

Criminal problems

Financial problems

Impulsive or aggressive tendencies

Job problems or loss

Legal problems

Serious illness

Substance use disorder

Adverse childhood experiences such as child abuse and neglect

Bullying

Family history of suicide

Relationship problems such as a break-up, violence, or loss

Sexual violence

Barriers to health care

Cultural and religious beliefs such as a belief that suicide is noble resolution of a personal problem

Suicide cluster in the community

Stigma associated with mental illness or help-seeking

Easy access to lethal means among people at risk (e.g. firearms, medications)

Unsafe media portrayals of suicide

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Coping and problem-solving skills

Cultural and religious beliefs that discourage suicide

Connections to friends, family, and community support

Supportive relationships with care providers

Availability of physical and mental health care

Limited access to lethal means among people at risk

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"...I know that that wasn't me. It's just a part of who I am, but it's not who I am. It doesn't define me." - Kevin Berthia

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""...it's okay to not be okay. It's not okay to ask for someone to back you up." - Kevin Hines

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800-273-8255

Available 24/7. Languages include English and Spanish.

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Steps to Reach a Crisis Counselor via text message

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Steps to Reach a Crisis Counselor via text message

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Crisis Text Line | Text HOME To 741741 free, 24/7 Crisis Counseling

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Crisis Text Line provides free, 24/7 support via text message. We're here for everything: anxiety, depression, suicide, school. Text HOME to 741741.

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1) Evaluate the crisis
2) Talk to your medical professional (i.e. doctor, therapist)
3) Reach out to others for support
4) Take care of yourself

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If you live with a mental health condition, sometimes you may find yourself in a dangerous situation. Learn how to evaluate your situation and avoid crisis.

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1) Use clear communication
2) Reach out for help

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how to help my friend with their suicidal thoughts

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how do i stop my friend from committing suicide

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It can be intimidating talking to someone who is going through a mental health crisis or seriously considering suicide. However, sometimes all a person needs in that situation is one person being there, helping them access the help they need. You can be that person.

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The Do's and Don'ts of Helping Someone in Crisis

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The Do's and Don'ts of Helping Someone in Crisis

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No one - not even the most energetic among us - has an unlimited supply of emotional resources.

But I know how much we wish we did. When someone we love is struggling with their mental health, oftentimes our instinct is to throw ourselves into the fray... but without being thoughtful about what kind of support we offer, we risk burning out.

If you're reading this, you probably know what I mean.

In my own history, I've been both the person in crisis and the supporter. And I know firsthand that when someone hits bottom, it's hard not to get swept up in the intensity. We forget ourselves sometimes. We go all-in, just to find ourselves depleted and resentful.

I wrote this because, having seen both sides, I know just how difficult it can be.

It hurts to give someone every last ounce of compassion that you have, just to find them still immobilized by their despair, not seeming to get any better.

I also know what it's like to have a friend bail on you in your darkest hour, confirming your fear that you are, in fact, "too much."

But here's the truth: You don't have to sacrifice yourself to support someone else. And no, you're not "too much" for needing support from the people you love. Both of these things are true.

We need to be thoughtful about how we step into our role as supporters, though, for those things to feel true for everyone.

If you're wondering where to start, these do's and don'ts can offer a blueprint for showing up more compassionately, both toward yourself and your loved one.

If you know someone is in crisis, the chances are high that they'll need more than just your support, and they'll need it for the long haul, including that of professionals.

Your loved one will need a strong network of care, as well as a plan if things should escalate. Thankfully, that's something that can be organized upfront.

That's a WRAP!
Many mental health professionals recommend that individuals have a Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP). This can include:

phone numbers for a therapist, psychiatrist, and other relevant healthcare providers or healers

contact info of family members and friends that can offer support

phone numbers for local crisis numbers and mental health organizations

addresses for walk-in crisis centers and emergency rooms

a list of triggers and forms of self-care to try when your loved one is activated

a schedule of community resources, like online support groups, 12-step meetings, etc.

Your loved one should share this plan with their network of support.

If their network seems limited (or is limited to just you), work together to see what resources you can find, including these affordable therapy options and this "choose-your-own-adventure" guide.

There's a common assumption that people who are struggling with their mental health can't be trusted to make their own decisions.

But most of the time, this simply isn't true. Whenever possible, we should involve our loved one in any and all decisions that impact them.

This is especially true when we're considering making decisions that could further traumatize them. Encounters with police officers - including wellness or welfare checks - can be terrifying, and in some cases, have turned deadly, particularly for Black people and people of color.

It's best to familiarize yourself with local crisis teams and reach out to your loved one and others in their support system ahead of time to determine the safest course of action in an emergency.

If someone has called 911, take the following precautions as harm reduction:

Request an officer that's trained in crisis intervention (CIT).

Give as much information as possible to the dispatcher, including their diagnosis, symptoms, and the nature of the emergency.

If you're fearful that your loved one may purposefully provoke an officer into firing their weapon (also known as "suicide by cop"), repeat this information to the dispatcher multiple times to ensure that those on-site are aware and do not fire.

Send a nearby supporter to meet them at the location to calmly intervene and ensure the situation doesn't escalate on either side.

Even if 911 has already been called, it's still worth contacting local crisis resources. Check and see if they can send someone to mediate any police encounter that happens.

Please remember that there is no guarantee that your loved one will be kept safe if 911 is called. Tragedies are known to happen. Voluntary admission to inpatient care will always be the safer option.

In such emergencies, you are responsible for taking as many precautions as you can to ensure the best possible outcome.

Avoid overextending yourself or offering high levels of support indefinitely. You can do this by ensuring that your loved one understands your expectations of them at this time.

If you expect them to be in therapy, for example, you can ask if they intend to find a therapist and within what timeframe (assuming, of course, that they have access). If you're expecting that you won't be the only person they rely on for emotional support, ask who else is on their team and how you can support them in accessing additional support.

If you expect them to seek out a higher level of care if things don't improve, work together to determine when that would be and what that would look like.

It can be tempting to criticize our loved ones when they aren't making the choices that we ourselves would make.

For example, your loved one may be withholding information from their therapist, using alcohol or drugs to cope, or making impulsive decisions that appear to be making things worse.

However, blame and shame rarely motivate people to make changes to their behaviors.

What your loved one needs more than anything is unconditional love and positive regard. Rather than criticizing their choices, it's best to extend support that they can then choose to accept if they feel able to.

For example, for a loved one who's struggling with alcohol, you might say, "Hey, I've noticed you're drinking a lot more than usual and it's worrying me. Can I help you find some resources and support around that?"

Helping them make better choices for their own well-being will do a lot more good than shaming them for the ways they're choosing to cope.

You are allowed to have boundaries. In fact, you really should. Knowing what your limits are can help prevent taking on too much and experiencing burnout.

It's hard to set boundaries you didn't know you needed, though. And many of us don't know what our limits are until they're tested.

To help you determine what you might need and where your limits may be, try completing these sentences with your loved one in mind:

No one chooses to be in crisis, and a mental health crisis is not an accurate reflection of who someone is.

Defining someone by their struggles can have a deep impact on how they internalize what's happening and their ability to recover.

A former friend of mine once described supporting me through a depressive episode as "being sucked into [my] world." By defining "my world" as a dark and despairing one, I was left feeling as though depression was at the core of who I was, and that I was a burden on the people I love.

Our words have a tremendous impact on other people. If we want people to have faith in themselves and their ability to live a full life, we need to be mindful of how we frame their struggles.

A mental health crisis does not define who someone is, but rather, it's a temporary period of time which they can endure with the support of those around them.

This is a common refrain, I know, but it bears repeating: An abundance of self-care is critical when we're supporting someone in crisis.

It can be especially helpful when we schedule it in advance, so we know when to anticipate a break and can protect that time by setting our boundaries accordingly.

Self-care looks differently for everyone, but consider activities that leave you feeling rested, relaxed, recharged, and reset. It can be helpful to journal about this if you aren't sure what those activities might be!

Don't wait until you're resentful, burnt out, and fed up before practicing self-care and taking the time you need to recharge.

If you had a leaky pipe in your basement, you wouldn't wait until your basement flooded to fix it, would you?

Similarly, we should be taking care of ourselves and showing up for ourselves consistently to ensure that we can show up for others.

Life happens. And sometimes, we've reached our limit in what we can offer others.

You aren't a bad person for needing to step back and take care of your own mental health - but doing so thoughtfully can ensure that you aren't doing unintentional harm when you step away.

You might read this and think, "Wait, ghost them? Who does that?"

It's not unheard of that someone might choose to avoid or discard a person who's struggling because they're too overwhelmed to continue engaging with them. Sometimes when people have reached their breaking point, they make really unfortunate decisions.

My hope, of course, is that everything I've shared above helps you avoid reaching this point at all. But should you arrive there, I need to emphasize how important it is to not simply drop someone who's in crisis.

For one, this can do incredible harm. Treating a loved one as disposable can be damaging, and the abrupt loss of someone they care about can be triggering in an already vulnerable state.

A major life event, including the ending of a meaningful relationship, can be very detrimental to someone's mental health.

I say this not to prevent you from ending a relationship that's hurting you, but rather, to remind you to be thoughtful about how you proceed.

The acronym above (TACT) is just as applicable to ending a relationship as it is to taking a break.

Consider the timing, be accountable and transparent, and if possible, check in later on to have a conversation to process what happened, with the hopes of you both gaining some closure.

You both deserve care and support. If ending that relationship is the only path forward, please be sure to do so with respect, dignity, and thoughtfulness wherever possible.

You can expect a whole spectrum of (very valid) emotions: everything from grief to anger, hopefulness, and despair.

But as someone who's been there, I can confidently say that I've never regretted showing up for someone who needed me. And as the one who was in crisis, I've never, ever forgotten the kindness that people have shown me in my darkest hour.

I hope that having read this, you have a clearer idea of how to proceed in a responsible, empowered way - one that allows you to securely fasten your own oxygen mask before reaching for anybody else's.

You deserve to stay well as you support others. And when we're intentional about how we show up, we can be.
Sam Dylan Finch is a writer, positive psychology practitioner, and media strategist in Portland, Oregon. He's the lead editor of mental health and chronic conditions at Healthline, and co-founder of Queer Resilience Collective, a wellness coaching cooperative for LGBTQ+ people. You can say hello on,,, or learn more at SamDylanFinch.com.

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The Do's and Don'ts of Supporting Someone in a Mental Health Crisis

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No one - not even the most energetic among us - has an unlimited supply of emotional resources. But I know how much we wish we did. When someone we love is struggling with their mental health, oftentimes our instinct is to throw ourselves into the fray...

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"...evidence shows college students experienced higher rates of anxiety, depression and suicidal ideation in 2020 than in 2019.

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"...evidence shows college students experienced higher rates of anxiety, depression and suicidal ideation in 2020 than in 2019.

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Washington , DC - March 12: Grace Zopelis, 19, a student at American University, is pictured outside her Washington, DC home. The pandemic has exacerbated a mental health crisis that has existed on college campuses for years. (Sarah L. Voisin/The Washington Post)

Jesse Brownell said she felt lost last spring, when the coronavirus pandemic upended her freshman year at Dartmouth College. But in the months that followed, the 19-year-old regained her footing. She moved into a house near campus with friends this school year and restarted practices with the women's squash team.

Then, earlier this month, she contracted the coronavirus and had to spend more than a week in isolation housing. She couldn't be around friends and was barred from playing sports. Alone, she consumed herself with schoolwork.

"I felt like I was spiraling," Brownell said. She adds that she doesn't think she'll feel comfortable being alone for a while. "I just didn't expect the mental impact. I definitely am still feeling a little more mentally down, mentally fuzzy."

Across the country, some school leaders and experts say the pandemic has brought new urgency to a mental health crisis that had been unraveling on college campuses for years. From social isolation to heightened feelings of inadequacy, students say it has made it harder to concentrate on school and put a strain on families and friendships.

Coronavirus is testing those of us with anxiety. We need to have mental health help available when the pandemic ends.

Young adults between the ages of 18 and 24 for years have struggled disproportionally with mental illness compared to older groups, and experts cite such underlying factors as high expectations, social media and financial pressures. Now, evidence shows college students experienced higher rates of anxiety, depression and suicidal ideation in 2020 than in 2019.

Despite the promises of vaccines and a return to normal in the fall, students are still stressed, overwhelming campus counseling centers with requests for treatment. Unable to see most students in person, school counselors have responded by developing self-help tools and hosting virtual therapy sessions.

Many students, whether they've contracted the virus or not, are reeling from the last year of uncertainty and wonder when they'll recover.

Coronavirus has made already-stressed college students even more anxious and depressed, study finds

When senior Cameron Nolan returned to Morehouse College for the spring semester, he was not the person he was a year ago, when he hurriedly packed his belongings and moved back home with his mom in Jackson, Miss.

Nolan had just been elected student body president at the Atlanta college when the pandemic took hold in the United States. Morehouse closed its campus and, suddenly, the 21-year-old could not lead in the way he had imagined.

"I'm such an in-your-face, extroverted leader," said Nolan, an economics major. "I was at a loss. I literally lost the human connection, and, for a moment, I had no clue how I still wanted to make my goals come true."

Nolan picked up a job at Walmart and managed to stay on top of his schoolwork, but being away from the life he built at school was tough, he said. In high school, he worked hard to secure the scholarships, test scores and GPA he needed to succeed at Morehouse.

"All that felt like it was in vain when you have to go back to your hometown," he said.

Nolan said he started crying more at home, just to release his pent-up emotions. Morehouse offers counseling and other services, but Nolan said he coped by keeping in touch with his friends from school, what Nolan calls his "band of brothers."

"Black men have to be hypermasculine at all times," Nolan said. "It is perfectly okay to feel your emotions. It is perfectly okay to be sad."

He also spent a lot of time journaling, anxiously outlining his future for when he could finally restart his life. Lockdown made Nolan feel like his life had stopped but, online, it seemed like others were still moving. He would scroll through Instagram and see people taking trips, getting new jobs and buying cars.

Teenagers during the coronavirus pandemic

"Although those things are positive experiences, you're looking at yourself like, 'What am I doing wrong?' " Nolan said. "When you have this overload of positivity, you always feel like you're behind."

What Nolan was doing - scrolling and comparing - isn't unusual, said Ryan Patel, a psychiatrist in Ohio State University's counseling center and chair-elect of the American College Health Association's mental health section. The popularity of social media is one of the factors leading to higher rates of anxiety among young people and increasing the pressure they feel to achieve.

"This is the first generation of students that have spent their entire adolescence on smartphones and social media and things like that," Patel said. "Especially with those kinds of technologies, they may be comparing their average self to the shining moments on social media, and falsely thinking that everybody is like that in all aspects of their lives."

Grace Zopelis feels a twinge of disappointment when she scrolls through social media and sees her classmates hanging out in small groups outside of school.

The American University freshman had high hopes for college. She went to high school in a tiny Connecticut town and didn't have many friends. The pandemic disrupted her senior year - she graduated in a drive-through ceremony and, as salutatorian, recorded her speech in an empty library. By the time summer vacation started, she was burned out.

AU, like many universities, told incoming students the campus would partially reopen in the fall after shuttering last March. But as conditions changed, the school announced in July it would operate online and close the residence halls.

Women living alone during the pandemic

"The one thing keeping me from absolutely losing my mind was just taken away," Zopelis remembers thinking. She abandoned her hopes of living in a dorm and found an apartment about a mile from campus.

She's made connections with a few other students but, overall, the 19-year-old said she's felt lonely and overwhelmed by the demands of school. She doesn't expect to maintain the 4.0 GPA she had in high school.

"I'm this recluse living in my apartment by herself," Zopelis said.

AU reopened some residence halls this month but many students had tried to replicate communal living in nearby apartment buildings, houses and even hotels - forming friendships in the process.

Zopelis, who decided over the summer to live on her own, didn't realize she would be missing so much.

"It's been kind of tough," she said. "I feel like I'm missing out on a lot, socially."

The isolation Zopelis and other students are experiencing feels unnatural, said Michael R. Lovell, president of Marquette University in Milwaukee.

"College is the most social time of your life," Lovell said. "When you are isolated in a pandemic, it's very, very difficult for students to navigate a time when they do feel pressure and stress."

Counselors at AU have offered services to students including anonymous mental health screenings, virtual workshops and group therapy sessions. But, wary about pursuing counseling, Zopelis is trying to manage the feelings on her own. She adopted a siamese cat named Toby, which she said has helped.

"I don't know if I'm going to have a positive experience or not," Zopelis said about counseling. "It's hard to open up about personal issues, especially with someone you don't know."

After catching virus, an outlet is gone

Brownell, 19, didn't seek mental health services, either. Dartmouth's counseling center offered resources during the sophomore's 10-day stint in isolation housing, but she said she felt uneasy about discussing her mental health with the school.

Instead, she relied on phone calls with her girlfriend, friends and family to cope with the mental strain that came with being kept inside for days on end. Brownell doesn't know how she contracted the virus, but there was an outbreak on campus in late February and early March, and she was among those sickened. Then, she was rushed away to isolation, bringing only a backpack and laptop, along with some clothes, toiletries and an essential oils diffuser.

She sustained her connection to the outside world through online classes and daily conversations with a campus nurse. Otherwise, there was little to do, so Brownell buried herself in school work.

"I felt guilty when I wasn't doing schoolwork in isolation," she said, adding that she felt more pressure than normal to excel academically. "It made me feel inadequate as a student."

Mental health apps: How to find one that works

Brownell is used to Ivy League expectations but, as an extrovert, relieves that stress by spending time with other people. Suddenly, that outlet was missing. Unable to go outdoors, she saw other people only when she stepped outside her room to retrieve meals from a common area inside the isolation dorm.

Brownell, who plans to major in government and art history, said she became lost in her thoughts. She was worried about the toll the virus would take on her health and nervous about falling behind in school.

While in isolation, she was battling symptoms - bad headaches and fatigue - as well as looming deadlines and loneliness. The entire ordeal has had lasting effects.

"My anxiety about schoolwork is definitely still raised," she said.

The challenges came amid a particularly challenging year on the Hanover, N.H., campus of about 6,600 students. In November, freshman Beau DuBray died by suicide, the campus newspaper, the Dartmouth, reported. Another first-year student, Connor Tiffany, died "unexpectedly" on March 14, school officials said.

"It's been rough on everyone," Brownell said.

For Patrick Peralta, a government and politics major at the University of Maryland at College Park, the last 12 months have produced a different type of anxiety. One that can be harder to describe.

Peralta, who is part of U-Md.'s Asian American Student Union, has monitored the unprovoked attacks against Asians and Asian Americans: a man's face was slashed on a subway train, a woman was mugged and injured near her home, an 84-year-old man was pushed violently and later died.

The U-Md. student organization has been vocal on social media about the rise in anti-Asian violence, condemning the attacks and vandalization of Asian-owned businesses. But the students warned, "words aren't nearly enough."

Then, a gunman opened fire on three Atlanta-area spas, leaving eight people - six of whom were Asian women - dead.

"We're anxious and we're terrified of what's going to happen to us and our families," Peralta said. "We live in this constant state of precarity, and this perpetual state of fear because we don't know what's going to happen to us."

'Nobody came, nobody helped': Fears of anti-Asian violence rattle the community

Sagar Matharu, another AASU member, said racism and the anxiety that comes with it have been part of his life for as long as he can remember. At his high school in Frederick, Md., Matharu said someone he once called a friend said he was "dirty" and accused him of having a disease.

"That's something that really crushed my mental health for a very long time," said Matharu, who is Indian American. The experience made him feel lonely and betrayed. "That loneliness translated into anxiety, depression, a whole myriad of mental health consequences."

The recent spa attacks unearthed the feelings Matharu had in high school. But his community at U-Md. keeps them from becoming overwhelming.

Although, separated by the pandemic, grieving has been relegated to Zoom.

Students also are supporting each other through traumatic events via text, instead of face-to-face. It has made a tense year even more strenuous, as students of color deal with waves of violence and social upheaval. Black students made similar sacrifices last summer as the world reacted to the police killing of George Floyd and demands for justice for Breonna Taylor and Ahmaud Arbery.

"It's demoralizing," Matharu said. "It hurts. But when I do talk about it amongst my community, I don't get that feeling of loneliness that I once got."

Do you go to community college? Or are you considering it? Tell the Post about the challenges you face.

On campuses across the country, counseling center staff are "busier than ever," Patel said. Not only are more students requesting help, but their needs are more varied.

The pandemic also introduced the unique challenge of delivering mental health care across state lines. When students scattered to their homes across the country, on-campus health providers suddenly faced a hodgepodge of licensure laws that determined where they could and couldn't practice. Dozens of states have relaxed their restrictions, but 60 percent of students still say the pandemic has made it more difficult to access mental health care, surveys show.

To fill in the gaps, counselors are producing self-help videos, sharing advice on social media and using computer-assisted therapy programs that can be just as effective as in-person treatment, Patel said.

Amid attacks, Asian Americans challenge traditions that discourage speaking out, seeking therapy

Joan Gabel, president of the University of Minnesota, is ramping up an effort to bring together the five campuses that make up the state university system to understand the mental health crisis through data and research.

The idea for the initiative came around the time Gabel arrived at the university in 2019, when she consistently heard from students that they needed more mental health support.

"That was almost three years ago, and it has only worsened," Gabel said. Officials within the university system hope to develop a framework that can be replicated at other institutions.

"This isn't an area for competition. We want all our students to be successful," Gabel said. "When students are well, particularly when their mental health is well, they persist better."

Leaders at Marquette University are also trying to learn from the pandemic and the way it has affected students. Some of the measures installed in recent months, including efforts to train students to identify the signs of a mental health crisis in one another and deploying counselors into classrooms to share resources, have had a positive impact, Lovell said.

Officials also scattered mental health days throughout the semester, when classes are canceled and professors are discouraged from assigning work.

"It's really important for us to provide resources and tools for students so they don't get to that point where we're in crisis," Lovell said. "The pandemic has really extenuated the pressures we feel to help students with mental health."

Updated April 6, 2021

The pandemic school year

Students, guardians and teachers experience a very different school year as the coronavirus disrupts the country's education system.

Schools reopening: Safety concerns | Fall "normalcy" | CDC's road map | Inside Biden's reopening promises

Current school year: Staying at home | Asian American students missing from classrooms | Schoolchildren struggling with mental health

Higher ed: Living on campus during the pandemic | Education Department extends pause on federal student loan payments | Mental health crisis on college campuses

The latest DMV news: Random coronavirus testing at D.C. schools | Alexandria adopts 3-foot distancing in classrooms | In-person learning expands in D.C., but mostly at wealthiest schools | Four days a week of in-person learning in Fairfax

Tell us how school reopening is going: Parents, guardians and teachers | Students
Financial aid: How has the pandemic affected how you'll pay for college? Today's Headlines The most important news stories of the day, curated by Post editors and delivered every morning.

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A mental health crisis was spreading on college campuses. The pandemic has made it worse.

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Jesse Brownell said she felt lost last spring, when the coronavirus pandemic upended her freshman year at Dartmouth College. But in the months that followed, the 19-year-old regained her footing. She moved into a house near campus with friends this school year and restarted practices with the women's squash team.

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American Indian/Alaska Native adults are at highest risk for past-year suicide-related thoughts, followed by Hispanic and White adults equally. For past-year suicide attempts, Black adults are at the highest risk, followed by Hispanic then White and AI/AN adults equally.​

https://sprc.org/scope/racial-ethnic-disparities

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https://sprc.org/scope/racial-ethnic-disparities

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Celebrate the life of Margarita Vizcarra, leave a kind word or memory and get funeral service information care of Katy Funeral Home.

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Literature, Books, Videos on Suicide Prevention

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Literature, Books, Videos on Suicide Prevention

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Her name is Leilany Rojas (purple hair). I unfortunately lost her October 20th 2020 due to her depression taking over. She would’ve turned 19 in January. She was just a kind hearted person and her laugh was able to light up a whole room, literally. Every day is a struggle without her but I know she’s doing better. She loved sunflowers which is why I always called her my sunflower. If anyone ever needs to reach out to get help, don’t be afraid. It gets better within time.

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Lil Nas X Honored as Trevor Project's Suicide Prevention Advocate of the Year (2021)

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Lil Nas X Honored as Trevor Project's Suicide Prevention Advocate of the Year (2021)

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Lil Nas X Honored As the Trevor Project’s Suicide Prevention Advocate of The Year | Billboard News

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In memory of Noah Langholz fellow juggler and son of my dear friend. Sending my love to all the survivors of suicide loss. http://www.noahlangholzremembrancefund.org/a-short-but-full-life/

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by Susan Auerbach
Beginnings
Noah was born at home in Pasadena, California, on June 28, 1991, a few hours before the nearby 6.0 Sierra Madre earthquake. Quick birth shakes earth, Bryan and I wrote in the birth announcement. "Baby make house shake?" asked his two-year-old brother, Ben.

A few months later, we packed up our boys and possessions for Bryan's year-long sabbatical in Cambridge, England. Baby Noah took his first steps teetering down the aisle on the plane ride back to the U.S. He was always at ease on the go, whether in the Galapagos, Norway, or Greece with his family, or later in Costa Rica, France, Italy, and Mexico on his own.

As a child, Noah was a daydreamer who could spend hours alone in his room or hunting for lizards and snails.

One of my first memories of Noah was sitting on the ground with him as toddler, playing with the pebbles, while everyone else was inside the train museum. He would pick up each pebble and look at it and feel it. (aunt Renée)

He loved playing dress up, decorating the house for Halloween, and setting up lemonade stands in the street.

Noah adored his brother, Ben, and followed his lead in playing Legos, building constructions in the yard, and, eventually, in convincing us to let the two of them pool their allowance to buy a used video game console-a coup in a non-TV household. With Wags, our big Lab mix, Noah ran crazy circles in the grass and lounged on the sofa, showering her with love. He was fond of reading and quoting from Calvin and Hobbes cartoons; he had all the books, with post-it notes on practically every page. Maybe Calvin inspired one of Noah's notes under the pillow to the Tooth Fairy: "2 dollars or leave it!"

Noah grew up in the warm embrace of a big extended Jewish family at home, on trips, and at each others' bar and bat mitzvahs. His grandparents' house was a hub for swim parties, Chanukah parties, and games. He learned from Nana how to crochet plastic bag hats and took her afghans with him when he left for college. He wrote in a high school essay that his grandfather was one of the five people he most admired in the world because he was a self-made man who enjoyed life despite surviving the Holocaust. Noah was always ready to go out to eat with Nana and Papa and proudly introduced them to his friends. He joined his grandfather, great-uncle Sam, and dad in Team Langholz for several marathons and half-marathons, as well as early morning hikes with schnapps and sardines for breakfast.

There were always cousins for playing cards, goofing off in the pool, or later, cruising around town. Noah doted on his younger cousins, Sasha and Bridget, giving them piggyback rides, letting them style his hair into funny ponytails or paint his toenails. He would crack up his cousin Shira pretending to be a New York Jewish grandma, pinching her cheeks and talking of "challah" in a fake Yiddish accent. Noah learned to surf from his uncle Neal and older cousin Gabe and went on late night In-n-Out burger runs and other adventures with his cousin Jason.

Once we were playing video games and he asked, 'Hey, you wanna go on a bike ride?' With Noah, it was never just a bike ride. We start riding, it's nighttime, we hop this fence and walk up to the top of this water tower and Noah's friend, Vasco, comes tromping up the hill. Noah was beat boxing and Vasco and I were freestyle rapping. I remember it being a moment where we all reached that trust, like a shared secret. (Jason)

Hobbies with Ben and his dad were a big part of Noah's childhood and early adolescence. Bryan taught the boys how to use Xacto knives, the drill press, and other tools to build ever-bigger model rockets in the garage. They named the rockets and took them to launches in a dry lakebed, where they camped out with other fanatic families and spent hours scanning the sky. "Next up, Ballistic Missile from God by Noah Langholz," the MC would announce; "and we have a launch!"

By age nine, Noah was determined to keep up with Ben and Bryan at the juggling club that they formed in South Pasadena, practicing with three balls until he could do it 100 times without drops. Not long after that, he could stand on the shoulders of his aunt Boehr while juggling.

Noah always liked the technical challenge and was never satisfied with things he could do easily. He would go to juggling festivals and would just be a sponge for learning new tricks! He tried everything with an obsessive passion. Older jugglers loved to teach Noah stuff; he was so receptive to learning complex passing patterns. He wanted to be considered a good juggler by jugglers. He signed up for a workshop with a famous professional and learned spins and attitude. At our club performances, he would do quick routines like tossing the frying pan, raw egg, and flaming torch-fun to watch. He was also our MC for the 'celery trick,' and would make it fun, picking a 'victim' from the audience and handing them a 'Celery Trick Certificate' at the end. (Bryan)

Noah performed with the club at the South Pasadena 4 th of July Parade for several years and juggled flaming torches at his bar mitzvah party. Though he stopped juggling in high school, the persistence he pursued in those early years became the theme of his college application essay.
Friends and Interests
As he grew up, Noah was an outwardly confident kid, running with a pack of boys at elementary school and shooting water balloons over the neighbors' fence, not shy about talking to girls or arguing with teachers in middle school. He gravitated to friends who were athletic, charismatic, or liked to talk and debate, like his oldest friend, Sammy. As a teen, he hung out with pals at the homes of Vasco and Sadie, playing music and beer pong, watching movies, cooking, and shooting BB guns in the backyard.

Noah, Vasco and I became great friends that lasted through all of us going to different high schools, being in different countries, and going to college in different states. Every day a good memory pops into my head - things I haven't thought about in years - that makes me smile as if it had just happened. (Sadie)

I know you knew how much I enjoyed having you around to laugh with, to discuss some political issue, criticize a film, to just hang out. You felt comfortable here because you knew that we loved you. (Rosa, Vasco's mom, in message to Noah)

Noah and Vasco went to the Coachella Music Festival in the desert long before they could drive there; once he could drive, Noah took Annie and other friends for midnight rides on his funky, 60cc, 1986 motorcycle. Perched on that little thing with his knees stuck way out to either side, he looked like a giant bug.

Noah always had a plan or an idea of something fun or interesting to do. On our ski trips, Noah was not content just going down any of the ski runs. He would lead us off the groomed path, through the trees and around the backside of the mountain. (Sammy)

In the 10 years I've been friends with Noah, I don't think I've met a single person as dedicated to living as Noah was. With the constant energy he put into engaging with everyone he met, he made people feel so comfortable and invited. (Annie)

Noah did the usual stints of soccer and basketball as a kid, then got serious about swimming when training for the high school water polo team. We were amazed to see him get up for 5am pool practice-part of a "get buff" project with Vasco. Overnight, it seemed, Noah went from skinny, gawky kid to ripped teenager. After two years of water polo, he got disillusioned with the rivalry and time demands of the sport. He was more at home with the laid-back vibe of surfing. Being out there with the force and immensity of the ocean, whether surfing or sailing, was maybe the closest he came to spiritual experience in his young life.

Water was Noah's element. He felt relaxed and at peace with himself, freer and happier in the water. I remember sitting with him and waiting for waves to roll in-there was a connection to surfing and to each other and to our love of life and the ocean. (Gabe)

Some of Noah's interests started in early adolescence, like cooking, film, photography, drumming, and backpacking. He began making inventive eggplant and pesto pizzas with cousin Gabe, then moved on to French bread and tarts, frittatas and pasta dishes. "Noah was the kind of person who could make a gourmet meal out of two eggs and a potato," his girlfriend, Anna, marvelled. With an earlier girlfriend, Ariel, he became a foodie and saved up to splurge on a $100 dinner at Chez Panisse in Berkeley-at age 16! He kept a running list of foreign and independent films he liked or wanted to see- The Sea Inside, The Best of Youth, Talk to Her, Third Man, Amelie, When a Woman Ascends the Stairs, The Bicycle Thief, among others. He was a great fan of Borat and could do wicked imitations of Sacha Baron Cohen's fake Kazakhstani accent and dirty jokes. Meanwhile, Noah summited Mount St. Helens with a youth wilderness program and went on backpacking trips in the Sierras and local mountains with Sammy and Bryan.

School was easy for Noah as a child but didn't really grab his attention until the more challenging projects of a gifted class in 5 th grade, like measuring space and putting up signs in the neighborhood to show the relative distances between planets. For a while, inspired by his dad and a funny middle school teacher, he was intrigued with math and later passed AP Calculus. He liked creative teachers who encouraged debate on current events and ideas and could appreciate his unconventional style-like using a Southern accent when asked to read aloud in class. He seemed to learn best from films, conversation, and a few favorite books, like anything by David Sedaris, Stephen Colbert, and, ironically, The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt. Feeling stifled by his traditional public high school, he made a convincing argument to us that a small, progressive private school would be a better fit. He spent a stimulating year at the Waverly School in seminar-like classes that gave him a taste for liberal arts college-and study abroad.
The French Connection
On his own initiative, Noah spent his senior year of high school as an AFS exchange student in France. He had the good fortune to live with the adventurous Carpène-Waisblat family on a péniche (barge converted into a houseboat) on the Marne River, 20 kilometers from Paris. He loved his host family and reinvented himself in a new language, even starting to look and sound French. He attended a French lycée, where he aced the literature-history track in his first trimester before he got too busy having fun with his host brother, Charlie, and best buddy, Filippo, an exchange student from Italy. Noah made forays into Paris to explore the city and eat street crepes. He reveled in all-night parties on a tiny island near the péniche and celebrations of Obama's 2008 election with his host family and friends. He joined the school kayak team, took accordion lessons, and spent time trying to pick up girls.

We had a lot of fun and tried to get to know as many people and to have as many experiences as possible. (Filippo)

We appreciated Noah's company and his interest in everything we offered him. Noah, ready for all challenges, who was seeking the limits to explore life. (Veronique, host mother)

Your joie de vivre, your ability to bring friends together, your will to discover, your enthusiasm will always be with us. (Leo, host brother)

Despite his sometimes crazy jokes or quirky behavior, Noah also had great dignity and poise. He was a whole person-I mean that he had a great mind, a great heart, and was also at ease in his body. (Colette, exchange student coordinator)

College Days
Shortly after returning to the U.S., Noah left home again, this time for Wesleyan University in Connecticut. He quickly made friends with international students like Llama and Tom and others he met in his dorm and threw himself into the party scene. He took Arabic for two years and talked of doing study abroad in Syria, before that country imploded. He joined the sailing team, despite never having sailed before, and was quickly up to speed, relishing every chance he got to sail when back home. He worked as a campus tour guide, once leading a group of parents and prospective students solemnly into a section of the library where he had prearranged-carrying on a Wes tradition-for 100 students to be sitting around in their underwear. He enjoyed Wesleyan's film series and world music classes but most of all, he loved its people.

Noah was a well-known figure on campus whose 6'4" frame could be spotted from a distance. They called him Daddy Longlegs. Here is what some of his college friends remembered about him:

When I think about why I decided to come to Wesleyan, it was in hope of meeting people like Noah. Smart, engaged, and flexible. Someone you could engage with about any topic. (Faisal)

The way you offered your friendship was an inspiration. (Cordelia)

Lessons from Noah: 1) Don't take no for an answer. 5) Conversations are very important. 9.) Don't sit around waiting for things to happen, do it yourself. (Isabel)

He always asked questions, like every person was a puzzle that he wanted to figure out. (Chachi)

He was a unifier of friends and he lived his life with remarkable intensity and curiosity. (Jaimie)

Sometimes people talk about 'keeping Wesleyan weird.' For Noah, it was daily practice. Whether posing as a pre-frosh and frightening tour groups with loud, inappropriate questions, or using his own position as a campus tour guide to get hundreds of people to undress in the library, Noah had an incredible, subversive sense of humor and the willingness to take action where others were all talk. (John)

I remember a restlessness that Noah channeled into a kind of generative energy. (Austen)

Noah was always the first to notice a friend (or a stranger) in need of comfort, and never hesitated to drop whatever he was doing and patiently listen, talk through a problem, or keep someone company. (Wesleyan Sailing Club friends)

When Noah spoke to you it was with undivided attention, and he had a way of melting reservations that made him an instant confidant. For Noah, every moment was an experience worth having and every person was worth sharing it with. (Daniele)

And from Anna, his girlfriend from back home: "His kindness, sense of humor, creativity, and wonderful spirit inspire me every day."
Endings
At the start of his sophomore year at college, one of Noah's close friends there took her life. Noah was completely blindsided. He spoke at the memorial and pushed through the rest of the academic year, but his life was never the same.

He began to struggle with major depression, anxiety attacks, and perhaps PTSD. Overwhelmed, he took a year off college to live in San Francisco, where he had an internship making models at an architectural firm for a while. He and Ben, who was already settled in the city, began bonding again over good food, movies, and music after going separate ways in their teens. Noah saw a therapist regularly and tried a few medications briefly without success. The light began to drain from his face, the wit from his conversation. He admitted he was having trouble reading and concentrating, but hid his worst symptoms from us and insisted that he wanted to return to his beloved Wesleyan.

Back at college in fall, 2012, and briefly in winter, 2013, Noah immersed himself in black-and-white photo shoots with friends, hoping to become a photography major. Though his dream was to make films, he was put off by the pressure and competition of film programs and hoped photography could be his back door into filmmaking. "Noah was the kind of student that made teaching feel so thankful," wrote his photo professor. "I saw and felt how important photography was to him, and he made that palpable to other students." Meanwhile, Noah's mental health continued to decline. He stopped seeking help or meds, even after a psychotic break that alarmed everyone when he was home on winter break. His once thriving social life at college shrank to a few trusted friends.

Finally, not unexpectedly, Noah told us he needed to leave college and I went to fetch him in late February, 2013. He told people he was going home to run the Los Angeles Marathon. Bryan and I felt he needed to rest at home, away from the stress of college, where he could have consistent psychiatric care-but again he refused help, saying he'd solve his problems on his own. He spent three weeks at home mostly watching TV, occasionally playing chess or going on a hike with Bryan. He was increasingly uncommunicative and isolated. He ran the marathon on March 17 in 4 hours and 50 minutes. Two days later, he hung himself in the garage.

We'll never know the extent of Noah's suffering or what prompted his suicide. What we do know is that he left behind many shocked, grieving family members and friends and that the love and support they offered us have been indispensable as we try to remember Noah and rebuild our lives.

Noah was a man who made things happen. It's heartbreaking to imagine all he might have made happen-buildings designed, films directed, images created, friends touched, women and children loved. (Sam, college friend)

Noah Langholz June 28, 1991 - March 19, 2013 So many gifts. Much loved. Sorely missed.
Note: I've written about the devastating loss of Noah on my blog, Walking the Mourner's Path After a Child's Suicide http://afterachildssuicide.blogspot.com and in the memoir, I'll Write Your Name on Every Beach: A Mother's Quest for Comfort, Courage and Clarity After Suicide Loss (Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2017). All proceeds from the book will go to the Noah Langholz Remembrance Fund to aid in suicide prevention.

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by Susan Auerbach Beginnings Noah was born at home in Pasadena, California, on June 28, 1991, a few hours before the nearby 6.0 Sierra Madre earthquake. Quick birth shakes earth, Bryan and I wrote in the birth announcement. "Baby make house shake?" asked his two-year-old brother, Ben.