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Just when I thought I could possibly trust someone in my life, life always proves me wrong. I admit that it's my fault for trusting them too much rather than get to know them first. I should take a break to reflect upon myself. It hurts how  life keeps breaking me apart but no matter what, I have to keep staying strong. Thanks to a good friend of mine, Fifi, for opening up my mind and eyes for what have I done. To my significant other, I'm sorry love for hurting you in a way that you shouldn't be. It's never your fault. It's always mine. I'm too caught up with my feelings and let it consumes me. I'm sorry for everything and I promise I will be better than who I was. So much better.

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It began as a whispering in the air. The day had been beautiful and the sky was like a dome of plasma-blue. The clouds had looked like airy anvils drifting under the gleaming disc of sun.  I looked out the window. The sky was tar-black and the large clouds were moving towards me. I heard a tapping on the window and then it became a pitter-patter. People ran for cover outside and umbrellas were opened as the clouds spat out their beads of water. Puddles began plinking as the rainfall became heavier. The roofs of the cars danced with spray and I could hear the murmuring of the rain through the window. It sounded like the buzzing of angry bees.  Suddenly, and without realizing, I quickly glanced ambiguously at the extravagant, old painted, faded whitish grey of my hostel window; an unshakable natural reflex embedded through arduous years of living within the oppressive confines of enclosed, viewless claustrophobia. The thin glass pane visibly reflected my pensive silhouette, a girl frozen in time; the pausing figure dramatically illuminated against the harsh ambient glow of the stark, bare filament bulb hanging sullenly from the gradually peeling ceiling that mirrored the state of her numbed mindset. I realized, with adequate astonishment, that such time had passed that it was considerably and surprisingly later than I had previously – and, as it transpired, mistakenly – thought. The question that keeps lingering around my head is where do I see myself in 5 years? Such a tricky question with the hidden yet mysterious challenges. Honestly, I have no idea what would I be since nobody knows what future holds for us. I might finish my degree by that time and be a psychologist that I've always wanted to be. Perhaps, I might be getting married with someone whom I never thought I will get married with. Anything could be possible. These and those 'what if's' will never stop running wild in my head and what I can say to myself in 5 years time is, I wish nothing but the best for me. I pray nothing but happiness to myself. I don't want to put too much hopes because I'm chronophobia. I fear of future. My link says it all. I still have a long way to go and to assume things like this, scares the hell out of me. -nfe-

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My favorite quote is based on this one good old movie named "Perks of Being A Wallflower"  It's such a really nice movie and totally recommended! One of the famous quotes from this movie is "We accept the love we think we deserve" This quote really got me thinking hard last time of what the exact meaning behind it. Finally, I've figured it out and it hit me deep in my heart. As a human, it's just a part of nature to have this feeling called ''love''. We want affection, crave for attention and can't deny the desire of wanting all kind of love in this world because we think we deserve it. We accept the love we think we deserve is simply means, if somebody loves us too much, we often feel that we're not good enough for them until we tend to step back because we think they deserve better. Meanwhile, if somebody treats us any less than love, we don't realize that we actually would step back and back off from them because we think we deserve better.

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Hey readers! So I came across to this one article and I found it pretty cool! Click the link below to know more. The article is generally about life but I found it quite interesting because it caught my attention. Let's get into further information regarding this article. Basically, it's about happiness and a happy life may not be a meaningful life.  When it comes to thinking about how to be happier, many of us fantasize about taking more vacations or finding ways to avoid mundane tasks. We may dream about skipping housework and instead doing something fun and pleasurable. However, tasks which don’t make us happy can, over time, add up to a meaningful life. Even routine activities like talking on the phone, cooking, cleaning, housework, meditating, emailing, praying, waiting on others, and balancing finances are appeared to bring more meaning to people’s lives, but not happiness in the moment.

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Psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl once wrote, "Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose." For most people, feeling happy and finding life meaningful are both important and related goals. But do happiness and meaning always go together? It seems unlikely, given that many of the things that we regularly choose to do - from running marathons to raising children - are unlikely to increase our day-to-day happiness. Recent research suggests that while happiness and a sense of meaning often overlap, they also diverge in important and surprising ways.

Roy Baumeister and his colleagues recently published a study in the Journal of Positive Psychology that helps explain some of the key differences between a happy life and a meaningful one. They asked almost 400 American adults to fill out three surveys over a period of weeks. The surveys asked people to answer a series of questions their happiness levels, the degree to which they saw their lives as meaningful, and their general lifestyle and circumstances.

As one might expect, people's happiness levels were positively correlated with whether they saw their lives as meaningful. However, the two measures were not identical - suggesting that what makes us happy may not always bring more meaning, and vice versa. To probe for differences between the two, the researchers examined the survey items that asked detailed questions about people's feelings and moods, their relationships with others, and their day-to-day activities. Feeling happy was strongly correlated with seeing life as easy, pleasant, and free from difficult or troubling events. Happiness was also correlated with being in good health and generally feeling well most of the time. However, none of these things were correlated with a greater sense of meaning. Feeling good most of the time might help us feel happier, but it doesn't necessarily bring a sense of purpose to our lives.

Interestingly, their findings suggest that money, contrary to popular sayings, can indeed buy happiness. Having enough money to buy what one needs in life, as well as what one desires, were also positively correlated with greater levels of happiness. However, having enough money seemed to make little difference in life's sense of meaning. This same disconnect was recently found in a multi-national study conducted by Shigehiro Oishi and Ed Diener, who show that people from wealthy countries tend to be happier, however, they don't see their lives as more meaningful. In fact, Oishi and Diener found that people from poorer countries tend to see their lives as more meaningful. Although the reasons are not totally clear, this might be related to greater religious belief, having more children, and stronger social ties among those living in poorer countries. Perhaps instead of saying that "money doesn't buy happiness," we ought to say instead that "money doesn't buy meaning."

Not too surprisingly, our relationships with other people are related to both how happy we are as well as how meaningful we see our lives. In Baumeister's study, feeling more connected to others improved both happiness and meaning. However, the role we adopt in our relationships makes an important difference. Participants in the study who were more likely to agree with the statement, "I am a giver," reported less happiness than people who were more likely to agree with, "I am a taker." However, the "givers" reported higher levels of meaning in their lives compared to the "takers." In addition, spending more time with friends was related to greater happiness but not more meaning. In contrast, spending more time with people one loves was correlated with greater meaning but not with more happiness. The researchers suspect that spending time with loved ones is often more difficult, but ultimately more satisfying, than spending time with friends.

When it comes to thinking about how to be happier, many of us fantasize about taking more vacations or finding ways to avoid mundane tasks. We may dream about skipping housework and instead doing something fun and pleasurable. However, tasks which don't make us happy can, over time, add up to a meaningful life. Even routine activities - talking on the phone, cooking, cleaning, housework, meditating, emailing, praying, waiting on others, and balancing finances - appeared to bring more meaning to people's lives, but not happiness in the moment.

More broadly, the findings suggest that pure happiness is about getting what we want in life-whether through people, money, or life circumstances. Meaningfulness, in contrast, seems to have more to do with giving, effort, and sacrifice. It is clear that a highly meaningful life may not always include a great deal of day-to-day happiness. And, the study suggests, our American obsession with happiness may be intimately related to a feeling of emptiness, or a life that lacks meaning.
Are you a scientist who specializes in neuroscience, cognitive science, or psychology? And have you read a recent peer-reviewed paper that you would like to write about? Please send suggestions to Mind Matters editor Gareth Cook, a Pulitzer prize-winning journalist and regular contributor to NewYorker.com. Gareth is also the series editor of Best American Infographics, and can be reached at garethideas AT gmail.com or Twitter @garethideas.

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A Happy Life May Not Be a Meaningful Life

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Psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl once wrote, "Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose." For most people, feeling happy and finding life meaningful are both important and related goals. But do happiness and meaning always go together?

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It's been such a hectic week and I've been hustling to survive this week. Last Sunday, it was the day where I went to work for the first in my life. It was the same week right after I've finished my midterm examinations. The chaotic noise inside my mind was indeed in a catastrophic manner because honestly, I'm mentally tired but I had to keep on going. I worked at one of the famous hotel located in Putrajaya. I exulted yet anxious at the same time because it's my first time. I worked as a waiter in the hotel but only for certain events. The event I had was a wedding at the grand ballroom hall and no doubts, it really was expensively grand. After 9 hectic hours of working, I went back to my hostel and got showered before I drift off to sleep. I'm that type of person who gets up early and goes to sleep late but on that day, I was burning the candle at both ends. I slept like a rock until the next morning but after all, I was pretty satisfied because all the pain and sacrifices I've made was totally worth it! I guess that's all from me haha I know it's quite boring this time but I'll try to write something fun soon! -nfe-

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“What comes easy, won't last. What lasts, won't come easy.”

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“What comes easy, won't last. What lasts, won't come easy.”

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3:53 a.m : Truthfully, life is not a piece of cake. Yeah, everyone knows that but not everyone knows what life has stored for us all. None of us does actually. Sad but true. We aren’t God and we cannot predict what future holds for us all. We are chronophobia (fear of future). Life is hard. Harder than we thought. Especially when it comes to choose the right person and when it comes to love, they are simply because what's right for others doesn't always right for us and vice versa. In life, isn’t it quite exciting when you get out from your comfort zone and tell yourself “What if it’s worth it?” “What if it’s worth the pain?” “What if it’s worth waiting for?” Those what if’s will always keep running wild in our head but then at the end of the day, it is ourselves to make a choice. We decide what we want to do because we’re the main character of our own life not others. Lastly, truth to be told, all the efforts that we put in to live a life will always worth it. -nfe-

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"When no one listens to you, write, because the page will always listen to you."

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"When no one listens to you, write, because the page will always listen to you."

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It has been years since I first started to write my very own poems and song lyrics. At first, it was just thoughts that were running wild in my head but somehow I ended up writing them until now. Perhaps, I might just want my writing looks swanky yet audacious. I could feel the bizarre feelings whenever I write down something that comes across my mind  because they are raw and uncut, no matter how blunt it is, here are my thoughts, uncensored and unedited. Besides,  when I want to talk to someone so badly but I don't have anyone to talk to and the things I want to talk about aren't supposed to be shared with anyone at all so I'd rather write them down and keep it anonymous. I know how much it hurts when things we want to say are left unsaid. I guess by writing, it could lessen the agony that we writhed in. -nfe-

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“We’re a perfect match but darling,  matches burn🔥”

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“We’re a perfect match but darling,  matches burn🔥”

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2:59 a.m ; We both thought that we could make it till the end but life had already proved us wrong in just a blink of an eye. Funny how you and I could picture our future together but ended up we both crushed them down in our own hands. Crazy how we both told each other not to become a monster in our head but turned out we both became one. Unfortunate, weren’t we? You had your flawless side and so did I. I had my ugly side and so did you. We thought that with the opposite attract and some similarities we had could make us such a perfect pair but life deceived us in such an indescribable way. I guess perfection alone is already enough to burn our souls and ignite the flames of selfishness within us because we thought we’re already perfect until we forgot that we’re humans, we make mistakes. That’s how we burnt in a flame of our love. We will not make it. Never will. -nfe-