# data[].attributes.body
Why was I so apprehensive about trying the MREs? I kept telling myself that I doubt I would be so picky if I were really deployed.

# data[].attributes.body
Here I am read for a shower, tired, and uncomfortable. I took a picture with the dog tags to remind myself why I was pushing myself to do as much as the immersive activity that I could.

# data[].attributes.body
Here is a shot of my sleeping arrangements. At least I had a pillow! That night I tried the MREs.

# data[].attributes.body
Not sleeping in bed was the worst part. My apartment is very small, so the only place for me to set up camp was right next to my bed. This made it even more challenging, since my bed was literally right next to me.
I was thankful when that part was over.
Not taking a shower for two days was not terrible. I did not look very good, but I think it would haven taken one more day for me to start to reach my limit. Plus, I had the baby wipes to use. I do not think I would have been as tolerant of not being able to shower if I did not have those wipes.
I thought about one of our course veterans, Brian, talking about how long he had to go without taking a shower.
I thought about different situations that would have an impact on my safety and comfort for the night. For example, if the weather was hot and humid, I would have definitely been more uncomfortable.
This experience really demonstrated how strong and resilient one must be to be when deployed. Also, since I was alone in my experience, it also highlighted how the importance of human relationships.

# data[].attributes.body
I watched Saving Private Ryan on my laptop the night I camped out. I took pictures to remember how I felt during this scene.

# data[].attributes.body
I watched quite a bit of war movies throughout the past five weeks. I watched Full Metal Jacket, Black Hawk Down, The Deer Hunter, Apocalypse Now, Platoon, and Saving Private Ryan. Many years ago I saw Full Metal Jacket and The Deer Hunter, so it was interesting to revisit these films a little bit older, as well with the new knowledge this course is giving me. It was difficult for me to watch these movies, particularly the ones I watched at night, before bedtime. It is emotional to see the death and violence, as well to hear the sounds of war and combat.
I watched quite a bit of war movies throughout the past five weeks. I watched Full Metal Jacket, Black Hawk Down, The Deer Hunter, Apocalypse Now, Platoon, and Saving Private Ryan. Many years ago I saw Full Metal Jacket and The Deer Hunter, so it was interesting to revisit these films a little bit older, as well with the new knowledge this course is giving me. It was difficult for me to watch these movies, particularly the ones I watched at night, before bedtime. It is emotional to see the death and violence, as well to hear the sounds of war and combat.
I am glad I finally saw these movies. Yes, they are full of scenes and topics that are difficult to think about and look at, but I have shielded myself from it long enough. One question I had while watching every one of these films is how is it possible to think, let alone hold a conversation, with explosions, guns, and injured people surrounding you? I wonder how accurate these films portray war. Is it even possible to truly capture war in a film?
Personally, watching Restrepo, Kevin Site's footage, and the Vietnam in HD episodes resonated more with me, most likely due t the fact that they are documentaries. It is easier for me to connect and to accept the realities of war as truth. When I see in it a film, I cannot help but wonder how much of it is sensationalized for financial gain.

# data[].attributes.body
I had to pause while reading The Things They Cannot Say:
Sometimes I would set the book down and stare.
Sometimes I would reread a sentence or two to allow more time for reflection.
Sometimes I would have to go back and re-read because it was difficult to keep reading.
Ch. 3, to let the story really sink in. Ch. 6, to try to imagine I also saw the man crucified.
I had to pause before viewing the pictures and videos that accompany the book.
I had to pause after watching every On Killing episode:
Some men were proud. Some were disturbed. Some men loved it. Each time I watched an episode, I had to stop to take it all in, to put myself in their shoes. I had to stop so I could check my judgements. I had to stop so I could appreciate their sacrifices, as well as the words that were written.

# data[].attributes.body
I spent a significant amount of time on the Honor The Fallen website. I clicked on picture after picture, reading about each person who fought and died. It was a reality check - I was naive enough to not expect to see so many recent deaths.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Homepage | National September 11 Memorial & Museum

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Ensuring that students in classrooms across the U.S. learn not only the history of 9/11 but also its context remains central to our mission. Now more than ever, we encourage you to explore our age-appropriate lesson plans and programs, developed to help educators impart what transpired before, during, and after the attacks.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
In Memory of Melissa Doi. 720 likes · 1 talking about this. Melissa Doi- (September 1, 1969 - September 11, 2001) May she rest in peace.

# data[].attributes.body
Saying that reliving 9/11 was emotional is an understatement. Watching the the planes crashing into the towers is a terrible, heart retching, gut churning sight. I was 14 at the time. I avoided it as best as I could. Unlike many people I know, I did not witness the horrific event as it happened on television. In fact, I do not remember actually seeing the footage until years later.
Watching the brave people in New York running from the massive cloud of debris and dust, I thought to myself “those people couldn’t possibly avoid or ignore this.” It is hard to think of words to describe the feeling in my stomach while hearing the moans, cries, and sobbing when the towers collapsed. I cried as I listened to the Melissa Doi tape. I understood why I avoided the terror of it all, and I stopped judging myself for it. I just allowed the voices, cries, gasps of the people drag me out of my defense mechanism.

# data[].attributes.body
The past five weeks have been like no other I have experienced in college. Throughout my life, I have actively avoided thinking and talking about war or combat. My grandfather, a very proud WWII veteran, would often talk of his times during war, but unfortunately all I remember is a vision of him talking to me, nothing about what he was telling me. I would tune out things like war documentaries, and I even tried my best to ignore the news after the terrorist attacks on 9/11. During Pre-Deployment, when we relived 9/11, my first reaction was to do exactly what I did the first time I lived through it as a teenager. These past few weeks have served as way for me to learn more about myself as I learn more about others.

# data[].attributes.body
Looking away is privilege.
Looking away means I am sheltered, protected.
Looking away means "ignorance is bliss"
Looking away means someone else might have to look
Is there a problem with looking away?
To whom do I owe visions of war?
Are there both times to look and times to look away?
Does looking away mean I do not look at those who have looked and seen?
These are my questions that cannot be answered by looking away.

# data[].attributes.body
I am a professional hair dresser part-time. My regular clients noticed my dog tags immediately - most of them already knew about this course, so it did not create any more conversation than usual. Recently, however, my boss was on maternity leave, so I was working on clients that I never worked on before. Only one woman mentioned the dog tags, which created an opportunity for her to share with me her personal story. As a
young woman, her then-boyfriend (now husband) was drafted for the Vietnam War. If it were not for this course, we would not have been able to share that experience with each other. When her appointment was through, she thanked me for more than doing her hair - she thanked me for listening.
Another significant conversation brought on from the dog tags happened at my internship. I was not planning on talking about the class, but after supervision, one of the interns asked me about them. The group ended up staying for about 25 minutes longer. I told the interns (who are MSW students at Wane State University) about the course, and my supervisor shared with us that her father was a Vietnam veteran. He suffered from PTSD and sadly, after two prior attempts, he killed himself a few years ago. My internship requires me to work closely with my supervisor and fellow interns. The dog tags inspired a conversation that helped us get to know one another, and provided me with another learning opportunity.