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Nadiya's bullying story - CBBC Anti-Bullying Week

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Hear about Nadiya's experience of cyber bullying when she starts at a new school as part of CBBC's Anti-bullying week. This story is based on real-life bullying experiences but some details have been changed.

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All UK state schools need to have an anti-bullying policy by law

Individual schools are allowed to choose the type of policy they use but they must have a policy in place. Bullying is big business, with a large number of firms selling anti-bullying courses, workbooks and training schemes to schools and LEAs. The government has not carried out long term, independent evaluations of anti-bullying methods, so schools may want to explore a range of methods before deciding what works best for them. You might also want to read a Government report (2010), The Use and Effectiveness of Anti-Bullying Strategies in Schools.

Finding out what works

Some schools have fairly straightforward documents concentrating largely on behaviour, but schools are increasingly turning to particular methods, including the no-blame approach, peer counselling, restorative justice and circle time.

The Anti-Bullying Handbook by Keith Sullivan (Oxford University Press, ISBN 0-19 558388-4 £9.99) offers a good explanation of these methods and may be a useful source of information for teachers and parents.

The no-blame or support group method

In this method, the victim, or target, of the bullying is interviewed and asked to draw a picture or write a poem about the effect bullying has had. A teacher will then hold a meeting with a group of students including the bullies, those who may have seen the incidents and others who are not directly involved. The teacher explains to the group how the victim is feeling and the group then offers suggestions to find a solution.

Removing blame from the process allows the perpetrators to involve themselves in finding a solution without feeling threatened or defensive. Those who were bystanders are given a chance to see that by doing nothing, they were condoning the bullying.

The group is encouraged to come up with practical problem-solving solutions and the responsibility for carrying out these ideas rests with the group.

Each pupil in the group then carries out their own solution, so that a child who has been excluded from activities with other children may now have someone to play with and another may accompany him on other occasions to make sure there is no bullying.

A week or so later the group reconvenes to discuss progress and what has been achieved. Records are sometime kept of the way this method is carried out, but not always.

This strategy has often proved unpopular with parents, some of whom have expressed concern to us about a lack of action from the school and a lack of punishment for the bullies. These concerns should be considered in advance if using this method.
Counselling/mediation between the bully and victim
The pupils involved are encouraged to talk issues over with the aid of a mediator and find a way forward to end the cycle of bullying and complaints. This seems to be more effective when pupils who are friends fall out, but could be less effective at resolving full scale bullying.

Although mediation can be successful in some cases, others have expressed concerns that victims of bullying may be making themselves vulnerable when discussing their feelings. When using this method, schools should consider seriously the skills of the mediator and the capacity of staff to carry out follow-up work and ensure positive behaviour continues after the sessions end.

Circle time

Many primary schools use Circle Time. Pupils sit in a circle and play games or do fun activities for a short time. Then they can discuss matters as a group, including bullying. This is a way for everyone in class to take part in a structured way.

This includes listening to the person making the points without making remarks or laughing. Some schools may use a toy or emblem, representing the opportunity to talk uninterrupted for the person who is holding it.

With this method, there is a risk that children might feel humiliated and distressed talking about difficult feelings in front of their class. Lots of care will need to be taken with this method to ensure children feel safe and well supported when talking about sensitive issues.

Peer support programmes

These strategies are more popular than others, particularly among schools which favour a "whole school approach" and particularly among those pupils chosen as peer counsellors who enjoy the responsibility. The idea is that everyone in school knows that bullying is unacceptable, children moving up from primary school are reassured that the secondary school is a safe place to be from day one.

In brief, older pupils undergo intensive training over a number of months into the effects of bullying, and how to care for younger pupils who are unhappy because of it. These volunteers are then identified by badges or ribbons and pupils know they have someone of their own age who will take their concerns seriously. Strong teacher involvement is highly recommended.

Recognising that some children may not have friends, some schools set aside a quiet room where pupils can go to do their homework, play board games or just chat with others. Boxes can be placed around school so that children who are upset and don't want to approach a volunteer directly, can still use the service by sending a note. Some schools also use email or text messaging instead of a box alert system.

With the right training for peer counsellors, this can be a very effective method. We sometimes hear from young people asking for advice on dealing with bullying related issues which should be covered in their training. Peer counsellors should be given regular staff support and very clear guidelines on what sort of interventions they can carry out and when their concerns should be passed to a teacher.

'Telling' schools

Schools in the UK are increasingly describing themselves as 'telling' schools and they sometimes operate this system in conjunction with peer group schemes in secondary schools. It seems to be popular in primary schools too.

It means that even if the bullying target is too afraid to tell a teacher, all the bystanders know that it's their duty to do so and that they won't be accused of telling tales. It's a deterrent because the bully knows that he or she won't get away with it.

This is a good idea as bystanders are often a key to resolving bullying. This policy needs to be publicised regularly so that pupils are not made to feel they are telling tales.

Restorative justice

Restorative Justice has been used in criminal cases to help offenders understand the effect they've had on the victims of crimes such as burglary and assault. A similar process can be used with bullies in schools.

The victim is given an opportunity to meet with the bully face to face in a safe and supervised setting and talk through the impact that the bullying has had, or is having, on them. Peer mediation and circle time are often part of this process. Restorative justice is designed to empower the victims and to help the perpetrators understand the human consequences of their behaviour.

In a 2013 survey by Family Lives, we asked teenagers what they felt was the best way to prevent bullying. The majority advocated some method of helping bullies to become more aware of the true consequences of their actions, as well as an increase in the availability of support groups for victims.

Read more

Read more about the the school's responsibility to protect your pupils on the Department for Education website.

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Advice on your school's anti-bullying policy

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Individual schools are allowed to choose the type of policy they use but they must have a policy in place. Bullying is big business, with a large number of firms selling anti-bullying courses, workbooks and training schemes to schools and LEAs.

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There are many different types of bullying that can be experienced by children and adults alike, some are obvious to spot while others can be more subtle. The different types of bullying that we look at below are some of the ways that bullying could be happening.

Physical bullying

Physical bullying includes hitting, kicking, tripping, pinching and pushing or damaging property. Physical bullying causes both short term and long term damage.

Verbal bullying

Verbal bulling includes name calling, insults, teasing, intimidation, homophobic or racist remarks, or verbal abuse. While verbal bullying can start off harmless, it can escalate to levels which start affecting the individual target.

Social bullying

Social bullying, sometimes referred to as covert bullying, is often harder to recognise and can be carried out behind the bullied person's back. It is designed to harm someone's social reputation and / or cause humiliation.

Social bullying can include:

lying and spreading rumours

negative facial or physical gestures, menacing or contemptuous looks

playing nasty jokes to embarrass and humiliate

mimicking unkindly

encouraging others to social exclude someone

damaging someone's social reputation or social acceptance.

Cyber bullying

The Cyber Bullying Research Centre defines cyber bullying as: Intentional and repeated harm inflicted through the use of computers, phones, and other electronic devices.

Cyber bullying can be overt or covert bullying behaviours using digital technologies including hardware such as computers and smartphones, and software such as social media, instant messaging, texts, websites and other online platforms.

Cyber bullying can happen at any time. It can be in public or in private and sometimes only known to the target and the person bullying.

Cyber bullying can include:

abusive or hurtful texts, emails or posts, images or videos

deliberately excluding others online

nasty gossip or rumours

imitating others online or using their log-in.

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Types of bullying - National Center Against Bullying

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There are many different types of bullying that can be experienced by children and adults alike, some are obvious to spot while others can be more subtle. The different types of bullying that we look at below are some of the ways that bullying could be happening.

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Warning Signs for Bullying | StopBullying.gov

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Recognize the warning signs for bullying to help prevent it.

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write a letter of complaint to the head teacher or club organiser and arrange to meet with them to discuss the concerns

continue to keep a record of incidents with as much information as you can including:

photographs of any physical injuries or damaged items

the date, location and approximate time of each incident

any contact (letters, emails etc) you have with the school or club.

What if the bullying continues after making a formal complaint to the head teacher?
If your child goes to a Maintained/State school
First write to the chair of governors at the school address:

the school office will be able to provide you with the chair's name

explain the situation and include copies of letters between yourself and the school as well as any evidence of the bullying.

If this situation continues:

a formal complaint can be made to the Local Education Authority (LEA) in the area where the child goes to school.
If your child goes to a Free school or Academy
If you are unhappy with the head teacher's response:

the academy or free school should organise a hearing with a panel made up of at least 3 people not involved in the complaint

for further advice contact the Department for Education.

If your child goes to a Private school
First write to the chair of governors at the school address:

the school office will be able to provide you with the chair's name

explain the situation and include copies of letters between yourself and the school as well as any evidence of the bullying.

If this situation continues:

a complaint can be made to the Department for Education who will consider reports of a major failure to ensure a child's safety.

You can find more information about the role and responsibility of schools to tackle bullying.

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write a letter of complaint to the head teacher or club organiser and arrange to meet with them to discuss the concerns continue to keep a record of incidents with as much information as you can including: photographs of any physical injuries or damaged items the date, location and approximate time of each incident any contact (letters, emails etc) you have with the school or club.

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Gender Diversity ft Jake Edwards | Voice Box | Childline

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Building Confidence After Online Bullying | Childline

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Cyber bullying can knock your confidence. Here are three things to try to help gain your confidence back, so you can start feeling good about yourself again. Get more at: http://www.childline.org.uk/Explore/Bullying/Pages/Building-confidence-after-online-bullying.aspx Subscribe to the ChildLine YouTube channel now: http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=ChildLine