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It has been 5 years since you drowned yourself at the bottom of the lake. Every day I walk in the hallways of New York City University and people still remind me of you. I explore places all because of you still and that is all because of you, I just wish you could be there with me. I know you had your reasons to kill yourself but I wish you hadn’t because I loved you. I have not dated anyone because whenever I go on a date with someone all I can remember is being with you. I wake up every night hearing the sounds of rocks hitting my window and whenever I look outside I don’t see anyone, but I wish you were there. I know I could have done something that would have stopped you from suiciding. I could have made people at school be nicer to you, got you to talk with a specialist, told my parents sooner, told your parents sooner, been more positive, been around you more, and payed more attention to what you were feeling, but it’s too late now. You helped me overcome my problems putting yours on the side, but I wasn’t there to help you save yours. I remember the first day we truly met on the bell tower and I am so thankful that I was there or I probably would never have gotten over my problems. I had more fun with you than I did with anyone else and I just wished you lived to have that fun every day for the rest of my life. You were the best thing that happened to me and also the worst thing. You brought happiness into my life and got me back to driving and writing. When you died the sadness was brought upon me just like what happened after my sister died. I try to not blame myself but you keep me up all night thinking about what I could have done to help you. I will always remember and love you forever.

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Q: Why didn’t you tell anyone you needed help?

A: The reason why I didn’t tell anyone I needed help is because I thought I could handle it on my own. I didn’t want to tell my father because he is abusive and not a very good father and honestly I don’t think he would care that I was feeling this way. I didn’t want to put the pressure on my family because of all the things they have been through so I kept it all to myself. Then there is Mr. Embryo who was a great counselor, but I don’t know why I didn’t tell him and look where that has got me now. If I could go back to the beginning I would have told my family and profession about what is happening to me so I could have to get the real help that I needed. Now it is too late and I regret all the decisions I made.

Q: How could you leave all the people that loved?

A: The reason why I left all the people who loved me was because barely anyone was making me feel better and I kept on getting worse and worse. The only person that made me feel better was my girlfriend named Violet and when I first met her I was getting gradually started to get better. Eventually, I started to get worse and started to fall more asleep. I told her not to tell anyone she knew and that's what she did and that really just hit me. If people were trying to do that to me before maybe I would have got better, but it was just too late for me. I thought I could trust her, but now I know that isn’t true. That still doesn’t change that fact that I loved her though.

Q: Why did you commit suicide in the lake?

A: The reason why I committed suicide in the lake is because I find the water therapeutic, relaxing, and serene. There are two many people that jump off buildings or cliffs and it sounded boring to me. I found the water amazing so I tried to swim all the way to the bottom of the lake. Once I hit the bottom I could barely breathe and I wanted to get all the way back up so I decided to just lay at the bottom of the lake and that is where I drowned.

Q: Are you glad that you are dead?

A: I am glad that I’m dead because I don’t have to witness the horrors of the world. Ever since High School started I was being bullied by almost everyone that I knew even my father who should have been there for me. If I was to move onto college I probably would have been bullied by other people because almost everyone in the world is cruel human beings. Every day I felt like everyone was just there to make fun of me. Being dead just takes away all the pain and know I am as happy as I would ever have been alive.

Q: How did it feel drowning?

A: Drowning isn’t as bad as people say it is you don’t feel like you are in pain which is what you would feel if you were to jump off a building. As I started swimming down my lungs started burning, but I was determined to get to the bottom even if I didn’t make it back up. As I kept swimming down to the bottom of the lake it was like my lungs were on fire and I needed to breathe so bad, but I wasn’t going to quit there. If only I was born a fish so I could be in the water my whole life and not have to worry about the world. As I got to the bottom my lungs were about to burst and I knew that I couldn’t make it up in time so I just opened my mouth. My body was at that point 100% water and my body just freed up when I let all the water in.

Q: Seeing the funeral do you think the people who were mean to you should have been there?

A: I know going to my funeral was respectful and all that, but I don’t think they everyone that was there should have been at my funeral. Almost everyone at school bullied me and they were all a massive reason that I killed myself. Even Roamer who was the reason everyone called me a freak and bullied me at school was there. I remember that day I had to ask Roamer a question and it resulted in all of this happening to me. There was also my father who was there and we were another big reason that I killed myself. I had to go his house every week and almost every time he would abuse or be mean to me in some way.

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“Your Death allowed me to move on.”

“You are the reason I moved on.”

“You are the reason I enjoy living.”

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I chose this quote cloud because I think it is very important. Even though you have family and friends that may die they will always be in your heart and never forgotten. It is never your fault if one of the people you love die and people always blame themselves for their deaths even though it isn’t there fault. Everyone that dies has left something in the world and that will never be forgotten. It will always be in someone's heart even if they don’t know. Violet has already lost 2 people that she has loved and this has probably happened to many other people. People have to move on with their lives even if you have lost something or someone very important to you life.

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If I could visit any of these places that Finch marked on the map I would visit Devil’s Hollow which is on the Kentucky border. This is where there is a tree that is covered with shoes. It is thought to have been started in the 1970s, but no one knows the exact date that people started hanging shoes on the tree. It is on the road called Shoe Tree Road. I like how people are allowed to put shoes on trees to show that they have been there before. In the future, if the tree is still up it may turn into something ancient which would be cool to be apart of. It has been struck several times by lightning and gone through many rough winds and it is still standing. Also, people have tried to saw it down and you can still see the marks now. If I could visit this tree I would throw an old pair of shoes up there that symbolize something about me to be apart of this tradition.

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/tip/2679

https://elizabethmeltonparsons.wordpress.com/2013/06/04/devils-hollow-shoe-tree-photos/

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It is hypocritical because everyone at the school made fun of Finch, bullied him, said things about him, and called him a freak. Also, people that didn’t know him very well were crying which sounds really stupid to me. An example of this is Roamer who is the reason people call him a freak was crying at the funeral. I was surprised that Finch’s father was crying because he was very abusive and it didn’t seem he loved Finch at all. His mother's reaction was normal, but she could have done more to help Finch and could have prevented this from even happening. Violet’s parents were angry because they cared more about Finch leaving than his parents did. Both of his parents could have helped Finch get medical help but didn’t. Violet feels responsible for this and it is very obvious. On page 348 Violet doesn’t mention this to Mr. Embry but she sees a little bit of Finch in almost every one person. She says that it feels like she is seeing multiple Finches all around her. On page 353 she writes a long message to Finch which ends with “Why couldn’t I save yours.” This is showing that she is blaming herself and questioning if whether she could have loved him more, done more things to help him, or never have told her parents that Finch needed help which could have stopped him from suiciding for some time, but eventually I thought Finch was going to suicide. Mr. Embryo helped Violet by saying that it isn’t her fault. If Finch wanted someone to help him he would have asked his parents or My. Embryo for help. He also hands Violet a book called SOS, a handbook for survivors of suicide. When she gets back to her house she reads the book that is only 36 pages. There are 2 lines that stick out to her and those are “Your hope lies in accepting your life as it now lies before you, forever changed. If you can do that, the peace you seek will follow. Forever changed.” She knows that the world has changed and that she will eventually move on. Violet realized that Finch left behind clues when she looked at the map for the wandering project which was where Finch had drowned himself. She notices that there are 5 places on the map they haven’t explored yet and they are all numbered. The numbers are in order and Violet realized that Finch had left her a message. This changed the tone of the book from sadness to hope because he had left a mark for Violet. It showed the reader that Finch really did love Violet but couldn’t live with what he was going through.

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After Finch had disappeared he kept sending clues which made no sense at the time. I thought eventually Finch was going to come back which is what people repeatedly say about Finch. Violet started to get really mad at Finch and the reason for this is because he just left without saying goodbye and has been gone for a while. Violet realized where he is when he gives the clue about water. Finch’s mum asks Violet to check out Blue hole which is where Finch had killed himself on accident or intentionally meant to kill himself there it never really specifies how he died. I was angry because you can’t just leave the people you love without saying goodbye and never come back. Also sad because the only reason Violet got over Eleanor was because of Finch. She also loves Finch and he means the world to her and just leaves her after Eleanor was killed. Finch brought the fun feeling to the book and without him that fun feeling just disappeared from the book and made it sad. I feel bad for Violet because she just lost her sister and she began to love Finch and now he left her as well. She feels guilty for what happened and blamed it on when she spoilt Finch’s secret and just told her parents that there is something wrong with Finch. The reason why Finch couldn’t save himself was because his problems were deep inside of him and he wanted to deal with it himself. It is also easier to deal with other people's problems than your own because you don’t have to worry about yourself. If Finch didn’t help Violet it would have taken much longer for Violet to get over Eleanor.

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Finch is getting worse and has been living in his closet for some time now and doesn’t seem to be getting better. At first, Violet acts like everything's ok and that there is nothing wrong with living in your closet and rarely coming outside. Violet puts good thoughts and words onto the wall and tearing up the bad words which are similar to what Finch did with Decca. Violet wants Finch to communicate with his family or a therapist what he is feeling so that he can get the help that he needs. The birthday celebration turns bad when Violet starts crying and telling him that she is worried for his well being. Finch says that he doesn’t need help because he thinks that he can help himself which isn’t true. He thinks that he doesn’t need saving. When they are talking Violet says “His voice turns cold instead of angry, which is worse because it’s like he’s stopped feeling.” It’s like he has fully fallen asleep and will never wake up again which really worries Violet. Violet tells her parents what is going on with Finch they are angry but glad they told them because Finch clearly needs some help. The reason why Violet does this is because she believes Finch is in the direction or really hurting himself. To help Finch they send multiple messages to Finch’s parents, leave notes, leave voicemails, and visiting their home. Violet’s dad has a friend at a college that is a psychiatrist that they try to get Finch to communicate with. Finch’s mother is used to this and just assumes that he will return home at some point and isn’t really worrying about it.

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The reason why Finch goes to Ohio is for this meeting for people that have attempted suicide or thought about suicide called Life is Life. He is trying to get help and he comes here to see if he can get the help he needs to become more awake. When he is there Amanda Monk arrives and he is very suprised by this because he thought she was just some popular girl that had no problems. This shows that you don’t know what other people are going and through and she says to Finch “at least know you know that you aren’t the only freak.” I think talking about your feeling with multiple people that are having troubles is a good thing. You find out that you aren’t the only one in the world that is struggling. Communicating how you are feeling can feel freeing.

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Bipolar disorder or manic depression is a mental illness that causes extreme mood swings this includes mental highs (mania or hypomania) and lows (depression). It can not be cured but you can go through treatment your whole life to battle the symptoms. When you become depressed you might feel sad, hopeless, and lose interest or pleasure in activities that you may have had fun in before. When you mood shifts to mania or hypomania, you might feel euphoric, full of energy, or unusually irritable. All of these things can affect sleep, energy levels, activities, judgment, behavior, and be able to think clearly. Mood swings can vary you can get them almost never or multiple times a year. Most people with bipolar disorder will experience emotional symptoms between mood swings, but some might not experience any. Bipolar disorder can never be taken away, but you can manage the mood swings and other symptoms by following a treatment plan. Bipolar disorder is normally treated with medications and psychological counseling which is also known as psychotherapy.
People that have Bipolar depression will need to start taking medication right away which will help calm down the mood swings. They will have to be on medication their entire life even if they are feeling better and don’t think that they need to take any medication. People who skip treatments are at a risk of experiencing symptoms at increased levels. Also, it could lead to people having a massive mood swing. People who are struggling can take day treatment programs which will help you deal with the symptoms on a day to day basis. If you are doing really bad you may require hospitalization if you are behaving dangerously, thinking suicidal thoughts, and psychotic. Getting treatment at the hospitals will help you remain calm, safe, and stable.
Some of the things you can do to help yourself treat bipolar disorder are to stop taking drugs and alcohol which can affect your behavior. If you are having trouble quitting these 2 things you will need help straight away. Surrounding yourself with positive people and good influences will help you stay above your symptoms. They can also warn you if they are seeing any of these symptoms get worse. Making sure you drink, eat, sleep, and exercise enough will help you keep a healthy routine which can help balance your moods. If someone tells you about drugs that may help you-you should check with the doctor that is treating you to see if they are actually good for you. Different kinds of therapy can help someone with this disorder communicate how they are feeling and get better. Different kinds of medication can trigger different kinds of emotions and could affect other medications that you are taking. Another thing that you can do is making sure that you think positive and if you do this it will limit the risk that you think about the negative things for example suicide. Bipolar disorder affects around 57 million people in the United States including adults and teenagers. That is about 2.6% of the US population. It is a very rare condition and isn’t very common amongst teenagers.

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/bipolar-disorder/home/ovc-20307967

http://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/features/8-myths-about-bipolar-disorder#1

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/bipolar-disorder/index.shtml

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Finch moves into his walk-in closet which is showing that he is falling asleep again. He is trying as hard as he can to make himself get better but it is just getting worse and worse. Throughout the chapters, he starts to like living in a walk-in closet because he says that it is safe.  On the very next page, he is talking about quicksand and for Finch quicksand is just another word for falling asleep. All of these steps he talks about are trying to help him to stay awake but they aren’t all working. Another thing he does is swallow all the sleeping pills and rushes himself to the hospital. Then he gets expelled and Finch is ok with it and doesn’t try to get back in school. Violet is astonished when he tells him this. All of these things worry Violet but she doesn’t know what she can do to help him. Especially when Finch almost drowns himself Violet gets really pissed. When Finch doesn’t call Violet for a few days she also begins to get worried. Then there is Violet on the other hand that is getting much better. She is beginning to write again, ride a car again, writing things in her notebook about wandering, and is beginning Germ. She is becoming much more mature about her sister’s death and not saying that she has extenuating circumstances to get out of assignments. She is lying to her parents about going to people's houses, but she goes to Finch instead so she know what she wants. The reason Finch is trying to cling to Violet's hope is because he doesn’t have any hope himself. When Finch is not with Violet he doesn’t have any hope and is why he is getting worse.

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I wake up with the sounds of waves crashing on the shore with the smell of salt water in the air. When I open up my blinds I watch the sun rise over the horizon, starting the beginning of a new day. After I get dressed in clothes I start to smell food which is the most amazing thing I have ever felt. When I walk downstairs I realize there is a massive buffet with all the foods that I like. I sit at the table and then my Mum brings me steak, eggs, gluten free crepes with honey, on the plate. I devour my food and my stomach is so full if I ate anything else I would probably throw up. I will a bed in my pool so that I can rest and let my stomach settle after that I will walk to the beach which will only take like 2 minutes. The beach is called Honokalani Beach that is in Maui. I will enjoy the most beautiful view in Hawaii and take pictures to save the moment. After that, I will swim and play on the beach for a few hours. After swimming for a few hours I will head back to my home. When I arrive home my friends and family will throw a surprise party which is where I eat some food and have a few drinks. Everyone will then go to the beach and will have fun for another few hours. After being on the beach we will catch a cruise which will only have my friends and family with food there if I get hungry. The cruise will take us to another island and we will go look at as many volcanos as we can on the island before we get too tired. I will then catch a helicopter with only myself to head to my own private island. The island will have a giant salt water pool with a massive king sized bed that I can sleep on. Before I go to sleep I will do a few laps to relax and the pool will also have a music player and I will be able to sleep to music. After that, I will hop on the bed in the pool and fall asleep.

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When Finch finally gets home he reacts by charging at Finch and then throwing him across the kitchen. Finch does the one thing he wouldn’t expect and he laughs. Finch then says “Here’s the thing. You can spend the next five hours or five days beating me to the dust, but I don’t feel it. Not anymore. I let him try to get in one last whack, but as his hands move toward me, I grab it by the wrist. Just so you know you will never do that again.” Finch finally stands up to his father and it works. He stops beating him and when he goes back to his room his father never comes in. The reason why Finch has finally stood up to his father is because he doesn’t want to be with his family at the moment. He has a lot of things going on in his life and the only thing that makes him feel better is Violet. When Finch says “that's the only thing I don’t have,” and the reason why he says this is because he is feeling like he is close to killing himself. The reason why he erases it is because he doesn’t want Violet to think that he is thinking of suiciding. She could also tell his parents which Finch doesn’t want. The easiest thing for him to do is not tell anyone which is why he erased his message.

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When Finch and Violet accidentally fall asleep in the tower her parents don’t really take it very well. When Violet and Finch arrive Violet gets out of the car and when she says her father Violet says “It’s looked like he has aged 20 years in one night,” her Father gives her a hug and makes sure she is ok. He tells Violet to tell Finch good bye and Violet says “It sounds final, the way he says it, like tell Finch good-bye because you will never see him again.” Her Mum also starts hugging her when she gets inside to make sure she is ok. Violet and her Mother are forced to pull her Father inside because it looks like he is about to do something to Finch. Once everyone cools down a little they tell Violet that they called Finch’s mother and Father and found out that Finch is troubled and that he can’t be trusted.  Violet’s Dad says “The boy is trouble, Violet. The boy is unpredictable. He’s dealt with anger issues since he was little. This is not the kind of person you need to be spending time with.” Finch lied to her parents and now her parents can’t trust Finch with Violet. The reason why they reacted this way is because they don’t want what happened to Eleanor to happen to Violet so they don’t want her to even see Finch anymore. So now they think that Finch is bad news and they don’t want someone like him to be around Violet after what happened to Eleanor.

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The next place that Violet and Finch go to is the blue lake. It is apparently a never ending hole because anyone that has gone down into it has never come back out. Finch tries to swim to the bottom and he does it for a long time. After, he starts to feel himself not being able to breath he keeps going and going for a very long time. He comes up to the surface almost right before he drowns himself. Violet reacts by starting to hit Finch multiple times and Finch lets her so that she can remove the anger she has been building up for all these months. She then starts throwing and destroying rocks against a wall, shouting, stomping, and looking like a crazy person. “I’m most afraid of just be careful. I’m most afraid of the long drop. I’m most afraid of Asleep and impending, weightless doom. I’m most afraid of me,” this is very sad because he is afraid of himself because he might not be able to stay awake and will just fall asleep forever. “I want to go even deeper than this, because the deeper the better. I want to keep going.” Finch kept going even though he was running out of breath. If it wasn’t for Violet he would have killed himself in the lake and no one would have known what happened to him.

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Violet is changing for the better and she is writing and riding in a car one again and this is shown when she is talking to Mrs. Kresney. Violet says “Yes, I’ve even started writing again. And riding in a car.” She is also going to do the 5 page paper on Turgenev’s Fathers and Sons without using her excuse of having extenuating circumstances. She even no longer is with Ryan and this is shown when Ryan says “I just wanted to let you known that I asked Suze out. I thought you should know before everyone in the school does.” “In the cafeteria, I walk past my regular table, past Amanda and Romer.” Violet is no longer sitting at her normal table with her friends instead decides to sit with Brenda. I think Violet is changing for the better and is choosing the friends that she likes. She is also getting back into riding the car and writing again which is all because of Finch.

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“I’m not engineer educated, but I am an adrenaline junkie. Demolition derbies, drag racing, driving fast-when I gave them up, I tried to think of something I could do to replace them, something that would give me that rush. I love the thrill of impending, weightless doom, so I built something to give me those feeling all the time.” The reason why I chose this passage is because this guy in Indiana built a roller coaster all by himself in his backyard. Without being engineer educated he did something that was very difficult and he made it work.

“And then he slams me into the locker and, before I can even blink, punches me in the eye, and then again in the nose. It’s all I can do to stay on my feet, and I am counting like hell now because I want to kill the son of a bitch.” The reason why I chose this passage is because he is being beaten up by Romero and he is taking it like a man. If he fought back there is a high chance he could have been expelled because he has been given enough warning. So instead of fighting back, he keeps counting without reacting.

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“Sometimes, Ultraviolet, things feel true to us even if they’re not."

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“Sometimes, Ultraviolet, things feel true to us even if they’re not."

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The quote is “Sometimes, Ultraviolet, things feel true to us even if they’re not.” By this, I think Finch means that if you believe in something strongly than you can believe that it is true and live like it's true. I don’t think it’s true, but you can believe what you believe in, but you can’t avoid what is real, like how Finch wants to forget about his Dad. Some people think that if you avoid all of your problems that they won’t come back and haunt, this isn’t true they always come back and haunt you. An, an example of this is when I didn’t do my homework and I got detention because of it. I could have done the homework in much less time than being in detention for an hour.

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Both Violet and Finch are trying to handle their problems, but Violet is getting better Finch is getting worse. Finch handles his problem by repeatedly telling himself to stay awake and not go to sleep. Also, he has long showers because he finds water very relaxing, serene, therapeutic, and it helps him deal with his issues, but it still isn't helping. At the end of the chapter, he changes the roof of his room to blue instead of white. Violet handles her problem by starting another magazine to try and get back into writing again. Also, Violet takes of Eleanor’s glasses and places it in her room with all of her other belongings. The reason why Violet has a greater chance of succeeding is because her problems haven’t been building up as long as Finch’s problem have.

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When Finch returns he is different because he no longer wants to be BadAss Finch by to try another personality out. The personality he tries out his less fortunate/homeless Finch. When the fire drill goes off Finch takes Violet to see a rare bird where there is also a river. Finch wanted her to see how the bird wandered so that Violet didn’t only have to wander with Finch but by herself. The new name Finch has for Violet is Ultraviolet. I like it as a reader because right now we are learning about the electromagnetic spectrum and Ultraviolet is one of them. I was not surprised by the Fight scene with Romero because he has been putting up with his bullying since 8th grade. Finch isn’t doing anything to harm him and is just blocking. Romero never seemed to stop and Finch gives up. Finch takes Romero’s head and smashes it into the water keeping it there until he almost drowns him. After this scene, he didn’t come back from school.

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Violet starts to write again because Finch inspires her. He tells her and shows her that everyone has to go through hard times and you just have to get back into the hang of things or you never will. The things I find lovely are the beach, travelling, swimming, fruit, healthy food, and nature. Finch paints his ceiling white and blue because it reminds him of water. White represents the sky/clouds and blue represents the water.

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The French lick resort is located in the Hoosier National Forest and was built at 1845 but wasn’t a resort at the beginning it was someone's property. It is home to two AAA Four-Diamond nationally historic hotels, contains three challenging golf courses, two fresh spas, the number 4 best casino outside of las vegas, and is one great resort. Has the best golf course in Indiana for six years in a row. Voted the best hotel in Indiana. French Lick resort is family-friendly, business-competent, a perfect place to relax and get away from the outside world. https://www.frenchlick.com/

A local farmer with a serious case of arthritis was said to have discovered the healing power of the mud and springs while digging for several days in wet mud to drain a field. He notices and he dug and drank the nearby water his symptoms were getting better and within days he was cured. When his neighbors heard the story they purchased the land and then leased it to H. L. Kramer who built a huge hotel and baths at the site. The resort's hotel which accommodated 250 was a grand building which loomed up on a rise. The resort had a chapel, a golf course, tennis courts, and a path for buggy rides. Guests at the spa took only one treatment a day and Mudlavia has provided entertainment for many. The spa resorts offered fine food, racing, and gambling for their wealthy clients. Most of the guests were middle-class, between the ages of 41-70, and were male. In February 1920 the resort took a downfall when it was burnt to the ground however, it was rebuilt. The Mudlavia site operated as a hotel for a white then became housing for the elderly and infirm, was later made into a restaurant, burned in another fire in 1974, and was given up on. However, the mineral springs are still alive and people can still go to them http://indianapublicmedia.org/momentofindianahistory/mudlavia-indianas-resort-spa/

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Finch’s Dad treats him horribly and the last time he went to his house he smashed Finch’s head against the wall probably giving him a concussion. He still has his sports side in him and when he is with his other family he acts like nothing happened. His dad is a big reason why he is feeling this way and when he is with his dad he is getting worse which isn’t good for Finch. Because of his Dad, his Mum isn’t really paying attention and no one is really noticing that Finch has a mental issue. He would be taken to a doctor if his parents were there for him but there not. Finch learns that his sister Decca and Kate are really close. However, Decca is being really affected by their father and Finch doesn’t want Decca to grow up like him. Finch goes into her room and she is cutting the bad words out of the book to only have to good ones.  Finch then helps her and takes the bad words away and leaves the world “lovely” under her pillow. To show her to ignore the bad things in the world and to just make everything “lovely” and forget about the bad things.

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Finch wakes up Violet in the middle of the night and takes her to Bookmarks which is where his mother works when she isn’t selling the houses. I think that the reason Finch takes her there is so that she can experience having fun without her sister. Another reason is so that Finch and Violet can get to know each other better. Another reason is so Violent can express her emotions that will allow her to get back to the things she used to do. Finch already got her to ride in a car and now is trying to get her to write again.

My favorite quote/golden line from these chapters are: “The problem with people is they forget that most of the time it’s the small things that count. Everyone’s so busy waiting in the waiting place.” This means that people aren’t appreciating the small things in the world that make the world exciting and interesting. For example when there looking at the view at the tower because it may not be the best view but it is spectacular.

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The reason why Finch tells Mr. Embry is because he wants to prove how much he wants to live for and Violet is one of those reasons. He also wants to tell him that he is very happy and is feeling better with himself. After Mr. Embry tells Finch to be careful Finch doesn’t like that response. “Just be careful” implies that there's an end to it all it might be an hour or 3 years, but it will end at some point.” Finch then says “would it kill him to be, like, I’m really glad for your, Theodore, Congratulations on finding someone who makes you feel good.” This makes Finch feel angry because instead of saying something nicer, he says be careful.

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Respawning in 3…

2…

1…

You have run out of lives.

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The chalkboard where they wrote is located in Elkhart, Indiana on an abandoned building wall. Many people can write things about what they want to do before they die.

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Finch finds water peaceful, serene, and therapeutic this is shown when he says “water is peaceful. I am at rest, In the water, I am safe and pulled in where I can’t get out.” Being in water blocks the demons out of his head and makes him feel better. All the thoughts about suicide release. Everything slows down and allows him to think about things other than suicide. “Finch is the hero, not me. I’m just a girl pretending to be a hero,” is what violet says on page 121. I think that the reason she is pretending to be the hero is because she doesn’t want people to think bad about her. Finch is used to being made fun of and looked at weirdly and it is just easier to blame him. She doesn’t want that much attention and to be embarrassed and if people start to look at here weirdly and asked questions she will have much more attention and be embarrassed. Violet responds to Ryan’s advancements by saying things to get out of the situation, nudging Ryan, and saying that she isn’t ready and Ryan understands it. The reason why Violet does this is because she is realizing that she doesn’t really like him or her friends. Violet is starting to like Finch and is another reason she doesn’t want to be with Ryan. Finch gets Violet into the car by giving her a sort of pep-talk. He says that she will never get better if she doesn’t start to do the things that she used to do. Everyone is giving her a gentle push every now and again but she needs more than that. If people don’t start pushing her or if she doesn’t push herself she will never get back to doing what she's normally doing. After Finch says this she jumps into the car. Violet reveals that Eleanor got in a fight with her boyfriend, Eli Cross who she had been with for four years. She was upset but she still wanted to drive. Violet told her to go across A Street Bridge. The bridge was icy and slippery and Eleanor couldn’t hold on. Eleanor was screaming and three hours later Violet woke up in a hospital. The next place that Finch and Violet wander to is the BookMobile park which is just outside Barlett on a country road lined with a cornfield. It has tons of trailers and the first trailer they see is the airstream trailer made during the 1950s which Violet climbs on the moment that they get there.

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“Sleep, that deplorable curtailment of the joy of life.” The reason why I chose this is because I really enjoy sleep and it is one of the best things for your body. If you don’t get enough sleep then you can not think straight, you can gain weight, you won’t have enough energy throughout the day, won’t be able to participate in activities, you won’t be able to remember as much, and you can have a lack of alertness. I think that everyone should get enough sleep so that they can be their best selves. https://sleepfoundation.org/how-sleep-works/how-much-sleep-do-we-really-need

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The reason why Finch runs after taking the license plate is because he feels heavy and hallowed. He is starting to fall in love with Violet and he has never felt this way before and doesn’t really know what he is thinking. Finch wants to stay awake for Violet not for himself. The reason why Finch takes the license plate is because leaving it there seems wrong for him as if it's too personal to be left out in the open. Another reason is because Finch is starting to fall in love with Violet. He is very disrespectful and doesn’t except the food that his father offers him. The reason why Finch acts like a different person around his father because he knows the amount of pain he has put his mother through and hates his father for it. The reason why he decides that ‘80s Finch has to go is because the picture of him in Bartlett dirt is not flattering. He looks wholesome and people would expect that he is a “goody-good," He doesn’t want to be known as the person that is good, but one that is bad and causes trouble. ‘80s Finch personality doesn’t really suit Finch. Finch’s new persona is badass British Finch who swears whenever and however he wants. One that would stand on the belltower and think about jumping because nothing scares him. Finch now has a cool look and this new Finch fits him more than ‘80s Finch. Finch writes fragments of things that don’t make sense alone but make sense together on the post-it notes on his wall.
The reason why Violet doesn’t want to get in or drive a car is because her sister was killed in a car accident. Violet and her sister were in the car and Violet was the only survivor with her sister being killed in the crash. Violet blames herself for the death of her sister and no longer wants to get or drive in a car. She hasn’t been in a car for around 9 months now. The first spot Finch and Violet wander over to is Hoosier hill. The trip reveals that both of them are starting to like each other. It shows that Violet wants to get things done quickly and doesn’t want to admire what is around her. Finch is patient and wants to do things slowly so that he can admire what is around him. They both like to have fun which is shown when they jump of Hoosier hill the highest point in Indiana. Violet is starting to like Finch which is shown when he touches her hand and she feels like she has a weird feeling. When they are riding the bikes Violet shows how much she dislikes driving and how she doesn’t like the snow.

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At some point, everyone will die and as we get older becoming closer to death, our vision starts to fade, and our hearing impaired “Death will come and will wear your eyes.” When you die everything will be silent and nothingness. And when we are re-born, it is a reflection of yourself “like watching a dead face re-emerge in the mirror.” Seeing them everyday you fall over yourself while alone. When you look in the mirror you see your dead loved ones and inside you want to be with them. Everyone knows that someday you will be nothing in the world.

We choose this image as a representation of death because these trees are too old and all of there leaves have fallen off and will be forgotten forever.

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The reason why Violet left Amanda's party is because when she was with her sister she would party a lot but without her, it isn’t fun anymore. She dislikes the smell of alcohol and all the other things in the party. She starts to realize that she no longer really wants to be friends with these people and decides leaving is the best option. The reason why her interactions with her friends have changed since her sister's death is because her sister was her best friend. They would hang out with the “popular” kids and after losing her she realizes that her sister is the only reason she was friends with them. She no longer wants to party with her friends, talk about things, she is really sad because of her sister, and is no longer Ryan’s boyfriend. Her parents react by asking if Violet would like to hang out with them apologizing for making her go. They are very surprised and don’t really know what to do but they aren’t angry. Finch gets her attention by making a video of himself singing about what had happened. Violet then asks him to get rid of the video. Then he started messaging her via facebook. They have a conversation that results in Finch coming to her house so that they can talk about things. The reason she agrees to let Finch come over is because she didn’t want to be seen talking to him at school or at the public in general.

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An Australian dollar coin: The Australian dollar coin features inscriptions on its obverse of Australia on the right side and Elizabeth II on the left-hand side. The reverse features five kangaroos. It was designed by Stuart Devlin, who designed Australia’s first decimal coins in 1966. The reason why I would pick it is because it isn’t a paper bill like America’s dollar. I also used to live in Australia and I am very familiar with it, which is why I chose it.

My toy black dog: The reason why I would pick my toy black dog is because I have had it since I was a baby and everytime I lose it I seem to find it again. I still haven’t lost this toy after moving two times. (can’t take a picture I kind of lost it).

Ready Player One: The reason why I would pick “ready player one” which is my favorite book ever. It explains what life would be like if VR evolved and what it could grow to be, and what it would be like without many natural resources. It is a hilarious book and I could read it every day if I wanted too. They are also making a movie about it which I will definitely watch. I would love if people could read this book if I left it behind.

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Gabe’s treatment makes Finch feel angry however he doesn’t react and this is shown when he says “I will not get detention. I will not get expelled. I will be good. I will be quiet. I will be still,” and the reason why he says that is because if he is to act out he will get expelled not a detention or a suspension, but expulsion. Finch reacts to Violet by wanting to be a partner with her, following her on facebook, talking to her on facebook, and kind of being a stalker. The reason why he is falling for her is because he can relate to the things that she is feeling about her sister. To get her attention Finch stops her from feeling public humiliation to humiliating himself. Than when they are assigned to the project to wander Indiana and humiliates her by asking her to be his partners in this project.
I think the reason why Finch keeps a journal on ways he almost killed himself is because he's trying to stop himself from actually killing himself. He has thought about killing himself for a while now and I think the reason he hasn’t yet is only because of the journal. Also, he would rather write in his journal than to tell his friends and family. This disturbs me because he never stops thinking about it and on top of that documents all of the things he liked. Finch’s Mother ignores and doesn’t really pay attention to what is happening to Finch at school and at home. She doesn’t do anything to help Finch because she doesn’t listen to what he is saying and doesn’t know what he is feeling. She seems like a Mother who is to sad that her husband had left her and doesn’t fully listen to her children. She does care about her children she just doesn’t do anything to help Finch because she isn’t observing. She tries hard to be a cool and relaxed parent, but takes it too far and doesn’t listen. His sisters don’t really care about Finch that much and also don’t know what is going on with Finch.

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If I could pick a place to wander in Nevada I would go to Hoover Dam, Lake Tahoe, and the Valley of Fire. The reason why I would like to go to Hoover Dam is because many people were killed in the making of this dam. Being the largest reservoir in the United States. Providing power to Nevada, Arizona, and California. It is also a very popular tourist location attraction a million visitors per year. The reason why I would like to go to Lake Tahoe is because it is surrounded by mountains and the lake is clear blue being an amazing sight. There are many different activities that you can do in lake Tahoe and the mountains surround it. Half of it is owned by California and half in Nevada. Also, lake Tahoe is the 2nd deepest lake in the US. The reason why I would like to go to the valley of fire is because it is the oldest park in Nevada. Covering more than 42,000 acres of otherworldly sandstone formation that were solidified during the age of dinosaurs. Which is nearly 150 million years ago being a great place for hiking and seeing all sorts of wildlife.

http://www.planetware.com/tourist-attractions/nevada-usnv.htm

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The reason why teens laugh at public humiliation is because teenagers like to feel safe and will laugh at others if their friends are to remain safe. Another reason is peer pressure if someone is laughing then they will try to make you laugh with them. Some people just do it to make fun of that person and try to embarrass them. People would rather laugh at other people than to be laughed at. No one likes being publicly humiliated even if they don’t show it on the outside. If I see someone being publicly humiliated there is a high probability that I would laugh at them unless if everyone else is laughing at that person.

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My first impression on Finch was that he was suicidal and  he was going to kill himself. As I read on he only liked the vision of dying because of how he felt. However, he never had the intention to kill himself he just thinks about it which isn’t healthy and shows that he needs help. Finch handles his depression by thinking about death and that is why he goes to the bell tower. He looks at the ground and says that he can just imagine himself lying there dead and how easy it is for him to do that. But he only thinks about it and doesn’t act on it. Mr. Embley tries to help Finch by convincing him never to go on the bell tower again.

My first impression on Violet is that she really didn’t like to be on the bell tower she was just thinking about what has happened to herself in the past. The reason for this was because she had lost her sister who was very close to her. She handles her grief by being more antisocial, not talking to many people, and to stay away from attention. She also had stopped writing, stopped her website which she made with her sister, and stopped driving. Mrs. Kesney was trying to help Violet by trying to get her to start writing again because that is what she is passionate about and may make her feel better.

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She was born May, 14 1968.

She was educated at Drew University and an American film institute.

By the time Jennifer was 10 she wrote numerous songs, a poem for Parker Stevenson, two autobiographies, a christmas story, several picture books, a play, a series of prison mysteries, a collection of short stories, a partially finish novel, and she was an excellent speller for her age.

In 2000 Jennifer started writing full time and has already written nine books in total. She writes both fiction and nonfiction

When she isn’t writing a book she is working on a web magazine, thinking of new books, and dabbling on the tv meaning that she is always writing.

Her mother's name is Penelope Niven who is also an other.

She has three cats named Lulu, Rumi, and Scout.

She has won goodreads choice awards best fictional writer.

http://www.jenniferniven.com/

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When I was at my old school one of my friends was being bullied without me knowing.  It started when he wasn't at school for 2 days in a row and during those 2 days the school and the teachers talked about bullying. Me thinking that he was only sick I texted him just to make sure. He told me that he was kicked and punched by a few people in the grade and left the school because they had been bullying me for a while. I  confronted the people and told them that what they did wasn’t good. 1 person that kicked him left the school because he didn’t like what he did. The other 2 learned their lesson but it was still sad he left the school. If I would have known what was happening I would have stood up for him but it was too late. The school talked to the 3 boys even the one that left to make sure they didn’t do it with anyone else. The rest of the time I went to the school there they didn’t bully anyone else. I think they handled the situation well, but the person who is getting bullied has to communicate with the school. What the school did after the incident was good but if they found out before they could have stopped it before it happened. Teachers and parents are people, anyone can talk to when they're getting bullied.

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When I navigate around Vegas my parents will almost drive me everywhere unless we hire an uber or I am driven by a family member or a babysitter. If my parents have been where they are going multiple times they won’t need to use a GPS to get around places. If there is no data and we are unable to use a GPS we will either use the signs or just keep driving until we get data back. If they haven’t been where they are going before then we would use a GPS to ensure we don’t get lost. I don’t really build enough time to wondering unless that is what I am trying to do. The benefits of wandering are that you get to go to places that you have never been before and if you want to go there again you’ll have an idea on where to go.

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Every single person is labeled depending on the relationship you have with people the label can change. Some people get labeled by what they actually are or based on things the person does. Say if you had a best friend your best friend will know you better and may label you differently than someone that you aren’t good friends with. Some people agree with how they are labeled and take it as a compliment, but other labels they won’t agree with and might think that they are offensive. People label me as an overachiever and I agree with this label and consider it a compliment. At Dawson, the most common label would be independent and kind which most people fulfill. At Meadows which is the school that I am going to next year hard worker and over achiever is a label, I thought Meadows surrounded. I will be finding out if that label is correct when I go there next year.