# data[].attributes.body
two strong points:

1.Clear paragraphs and correct use of connectives and symbols.
2.Correct academic language is used in the essay.

two areas where their work needs further improvements:

1.The lack of a detailed description of the impact of the revolution on society has been brushed over.
2.The structure of the reference is still unclear.

# data[].attributes.body
strong points:
1. I have an appropriate word count.
2. I have a complete structure.

weak points:
1. Do not paraphrasing any references.
2. I'm lack of knowledge and grammar.

score: 65

# data[].attributes.body
The Dr Yunus's check shows that:

Strong points is:
-Knowledge and Understanding(27/30)
-Logical structure(18/20)

Improves needs in:
-Grammar, spelling and academic register, word count(22/30)
In-text referencing and bibliography based on the APA style(10/20)

References and academic words are the weakest part of this assessment.
-And paraphrase your sentences better, Yunus!
Finally, the average mark is 77. Not bad for second work!

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Good aspects:
1. Most of what I write are my own ideas and conclusions combined with some materials
2. May have advantages in detail description and emotional resonance
3. The number of words is enough
Bad aspects:
1. I may not complete it according to the format
2. Too much narration may be a little miscellaneous
3. Too many personal ideas are mixed
If I could, I would give myself 60 points because I think my ideas are very important

# data[].attributes.body
Strong
-Clear evidence
-Both key points have been explained

Weak
-Not enough personal views
-Missing conjunction

Score：55

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two areas ---needs further improvements

1. logic--a. usage of linking words
b. explainations in the paragragh
2.grammar

two strong points
1. similarity is low
2. usage of  in-text referencing

score: 60

# data[].attributes.body
good
ensured sentences are grammatically  correct and sufficiently clear.
observed Word count of 500 to 750 excluding bibliography.
bed
not  develop sound paraphrasing where needed.
score60

# data[].attributes.body
Strong points: I cited all the references clearly.
The  similarity rate of my essay is very low.

weak points:
I need to reduce the words of my essay because I wrote 687 words, is a little too many for the essay.
I need use more linking words inside my essay.

My personal estimate score: 70

# data[].attributes.body
good

1. related Marx's theories to the Industrial Revolution.
2. Appropriately paraphrasing all the reference

bad

1 should cut down word count
2 should find sources that are more relevant

# data[].attributes.body
Strong Points
- One strong point about my assessment was how detailed it was and how understandable it is for people to read.
- Another strong point is my work is original and not plagiarised.

Weak Points
- I did not use in text citations I simply just added a reference page but using in text citations would have made my essay a lot stronger.
- I feel like I could make it more concise. Even though I did not exceed the word limit I wrote 565 words but I feel like I could have merged ideas together. I feel like I was a little repetitive with my ideas.

My self appointed score: 75%

# data[].attributes.body
Two strong points:
- My grammar and essay sentence structure is good
- I paraphrased the two points relatively well

Two areas that need further improvements:
- I need to link ideas more clearly
- Remember to take down the pages and details for citations

My self-appointed score based on the Portfolio 1 marking scheme: 85

My marks based on the essay assessment marking criteria: 75