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Kids who are affected, suddenly act different, like being very quiet or angry. For example, kids who used to be very talkative might stop talking to their friends if they are being bullied.

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Overall Journey of Rozanne from Being Bullied to Being an Advocate

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Overall Journey of Rozanne from Being Bullied to Being an Advocate

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### Rozanne's Reflections Based on the SWORD Framework and the School's Actions

#### Reflection on the Incidents

1. Feeling Scared and Isolated

- When Natalie bullied me, whether by pushing me into a cubicle or excluding me from the group because I didn’t know a dance, I felt scared and very alone. It was hard to understand why she was so mean, making me feel like I didn’t belong.

2. Trying to Be Brave

- Even though I was scared, I always tried to be brave. For example, when Natalie trapped me in the bathroom, I kept pushing the door and shouting for her to let me out. I tried to stand up for myself, even when it was hard.

3. Feeling Supported by My Parents

- My parents have taught me ways to stand up for myself, like saying, “Stop that right now,” or walking away. They also told me to ask a teacher for help if I needed it. Knowing they were there to support me made a big difference.

#### Incorporating the SWORD Framework

1. Say “Stop it!”

- I’ve learned that telling the bully to stop immediately is important. I can say it loudly and clearly so they know I’m serious.

2. Walk Away (with the victim of hurtful behaviour)

- If someone is being mean to me or my friends, I know walking away is okay. It’s better to leave and find a safe place or tell an adult.

3. Openly and Respectfully Disagree with Hurtful Words or Behaviour

- I can tell the bully that what they are doing is wrong. For example, if someone says something mean, I can say, “That’s not true, and it’s not nice to say.”

4. Remind the Perpetrator to Calm Down and Be Kind

- Sometimes, bullies need to be reminded to be kind. I can say something like, “We should all be nice to each other,” to help them remember to treat others respectfully.

5. Declare that Everyone Deserves Kindness and Respect

- I believe that everyone should be treated with kindness. I can say things like, “We all deserve to be treated nicely,” to remind others of this important rule.

#### Reflections on the School's Actions

1. Understanding Consequences and Respect

I hope Natalie and Aaron learn from this experience and understand how her actions hurt me and others. They need to know that bullying has serious consequences and that they must treat others with respect.

2. Working with Parents to Prevent Future Bullying

- Knowing that the school is working with Natalie’s and Aaron's parents makes me feel safer. It shows they are taking this seriously and trying to ensure it doesn’t happen again.

3. Addressing Emotional Needs

- I feel better knowing that the school is thinking about my feelings and the feelings of everyone involved. It’s important to talk about what happened and get the help we need to feel better.

4. Restoring Relationships

- It’s good to know that the school is trying to help fix the relationships that were hurt by the bullying. I hope Natalie and I can be in the same space one day without feeling scared or upset.

5. Counseling for Bullies

Providing Natalie with counselling is important. She needs to understand why she was bullying others and how to stop. I hope this will help her change her behaviour. Just like Natalie, Aaron needs to understand the consequences of his actions and learn to treat others respectfully. Counselling can help him change his behaviour.

6. Monitoring to Prevent Further Problems

- The school is setting up a system to watch out for bullying, which makes me feel safer. Knowing that teachers and staff are watching things helps me feel more secure.

7. Educating Bystanders

- It’s great that the school teaches other kids like AS and Seraphina to stand up against bullying. If more people speak out, it can help stop bullying and make our school safer.

8. Understanding School Practices

- Learning more about how the school deals with bullying helps me feel more confident that they are working to protect us. It shows that they care about our safety and well-being.

9. Apology

-I have since received sincere apologies from both bullies. They have not reoffended and are genuinely learning to be better. I hope to maintain a harmonious relationship with students in school. I believe these bullies deserve a second chance to improve.

By reflecting on these incidents and understanding how to use the SWORD framework, I feel more prepared to handle bullying in the future. I know that I can stand up for myself and my friends and that there are adults at school who will help keep us safe. I hope to continue spreading the word and advocating against bullying to make the school better for everyone, including my sister.

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Rozanne's Recount of the Washroom Incident

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Rozanne's Recount of the Washroom Incident

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### Rozanne's Recount of the Harassment and Physical Bullying Incident

Every day, my friends Kaelyn, Gwen, and I finish our classroom duties by 1:45 pm and then head to the school foyer to wait for our cars. Today, Gwen got picked up early, so she left before us. Natalie, also waiting for her car, joined Kaelyn and me.

At 1:50 pm, I left the foyer to go to the girls' toilet. As I walked away, I noticed Natalie following me. I pushed open the main door to the toilet, and Natalie was still behind me. When I got close to one of the toilet doors, Natalie suddenly pushed me hard into one of the cubicles. She shouted, “This is an emergency. This is an emergency,” like she was pretending something bad was happening.

I realized I was trapped and tried to push the door open, but it wouldn’t budge. I yelled several times for Natalie to let me out, but she stayed silent. It felt like she was using all her strength to shut the door.

After a while, I had to pee, so I pulled down my shorts. Just then, Natalie opened the door and started pointing and laughing at me. She quickly shut the door again, keeping me trapped inside. I was too scared to pee, so I pulled up my shorts and tried to push the door open again and again, but it wouldn’t move. I could hear Natalie giggling outside.

Soon, I heard footsteps. It was Kaelyn who had come to tell me that my caregiver had arrived to pick me up. Natalie opened the door and said, “Quick, quick, get out. Your car is here.” When I stepped out, she pushed me in the back and said, “Be faster,” which made me almost fall.

I ran back to the foyer without looking back, with Natalie giggling behind me. I jumped into the car, feeling shaken and scared.

### How It All Started

I've known Natalie since Primary 1 because we both wait in the foyer for our cars, along with Gwen and Kaelyn. There have been times when Natalie was mean to me, but I didn’t tell the school because my parents taught me some self-defence and anti-bullying techniques. They told me to say things like, “Stop that right now,” or just walk away, which usually helped. My parents also reminded me to ask for help from a teacher or staff if I felt threatened.

In Primary 1, Natalie once gathered her friends, including Gwen and Kaelyn, to dance and talk about a game called Roblox during recess. Since I didn’t know about the game or the dances, Natalie pulled me away from the group and told me I couldn't join them anymore. She even told Gwen and Kaelyn not to be friends with me or play with me during the foyer waiting times. My parents told me to stay strong and wait alone if needed.

### The Birthday Card Incident

In 2022, around my birthday, Natalie gave me a card wishing me a happy birthday. It seemed nice, but inside, she wrote about hoping no one was bullying me, even though she was the one causing me distress. She then asked me to buy her a Starbucks card as a return gift. I was scared of what might happen if I didn’t, so I asked my parents. They told me not to buy it for her. Since then, things have calmed down between us.

### Today’s Incident

Today, on 22 August 2023, I couldn’t stop crying in the car after what happened in the toilet. I told my caregiver about it, and when I got home, I was still crying. My mom called me to get all the details, and I cried through the call, too. We wonder if this is happening again because my birthday is coming up soon, just like last year's card incident.

### Talking to the School

After today’s incident, I feel very scared and upset. My parents will talk to the school about what happened to ensure I feel safe, and this doesn’t happen again.

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Dealing with Feeling Left Out as the Bullied

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Dealing with Feeling Left Out as the Bullied

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Dealing with Negative Comments as the Bullied

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Dealing with Negative Comments as the Bullied

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Recognising Others' Feelings as Bystander

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Recognising Others' Feelings as Bystander

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Dealing with Group Pressure as a Bystander

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Dealing with Group Pressure as a Bystander

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Being an Upstander instead of a Bystander

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Being an Upstander instead of a Bystander

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(Perspective from a Bully) Confessions of a Former Bully

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(Perspective from a Bully) Confessions of a Former Bully

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Adults should always show kindness and respect in how they treat others so kids can learn to do the same. For instance, if a parent always says "please" and "thank you," kids will learn to use polite words too.

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Teachers and parents should teach kids to respect each other and understand that everyone is different. For example, they can read stories about different cultures and discuss why it's important to be kind to everyone.

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Schools and homes should be safe places where kids feel protected and can talk about their feelings. For instance, having a "buddy bench" at school where kids can sit if they feel lonely can help them find friends and feel safer.

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Teachers and parents should always listen to kids when they talk about their day and any problems they have. For example, if a kid says they don't want to go to school, adults should ask why and listen to their answer carefully.

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When kids are bullied, they might feel very sad and lonely because they think nobody likes them. For example, if a kid is called names every day, they might start to believe those mean words and feel really bad about themselves.

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Sometimes, kids who are bullied don't want to go to school because they are scared of getting hurt or teased. For instance, if a kid is pushed around on the playground, they might pretend to be sick to avoid going to school.

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Kids who are bullied might get headaches or stomach aches more often because they are so stressed out. For example, a kid who is always worried about being bullied might feel sick every morning before school.

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I have witnessed friends who used to love playing with others but now wants to be alone to try to avoid bullies. This dampens the ability to socialise freely and affects learning collaboration.

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It's important to talk about what bullying is and why it's wrong so everyone knows how to stop it. For example, having a class discussion about how to treat each other kindly can help everyone understand why bullying is bad.

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Encouraging kids to be kind and include everyone can help stop bullying before it starts. For instance, if kids always invite others to join their games, no one will feel left out and bullying can be prevented.

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Kids should know it's okay to tell a teacher or parent if they see someone being bullied or if they are being bullied. For example, if a kid sees their friend being picked on, they should feel safe telling a teacher about it.

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When kids stand up for each other and say bullying is not okay, it can help stop the bully. For example, if a group of kids tells a bully to stop teasing someone, the bully might stop because they see that no one else thinks it's cool.

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Simplified definitions of the words:

### Verbal/Social

1. Verbal Abuse

- Definition: Saying mean things to hurt someone's feelings.

- Example: Calling someone names or yelling at them in a hurtful way.

2. Making Threats

- Definition: Telling someone you will hurt them if they don't do what you want.

- Example: Saying, "If you don't give me your lunch, I'll hit you."

3. Spreading Nasty and Malicious Rumours

- Definition: Telling lies about someone to make others not like them.

- Example: Saying that someone did something bad when they didn't.

4. Ostracising

- Definition: Leaving someone out on purpose to make them feel bad.

- Example: Not letting someone play a game with the group because you want them to feel left out.

### Physical

1. Punching

- Definition: Hitting someone with your fist.

- Example: Using your hand to hit someone hard.

2. Kicking

- Definition: Hitting someone with your foot.

- Example: Using your foot to hurt someone.

3. Spitting

- Definition: Throwing spit from your mouth at someone.

- Example: Spitting on someone to show disrespect or to hurt them.

4. Pulling Hair

- Definition: Grabbing and pulling someone's hair to hurt them.

- Example: Yanking someone's hair to cause pain.

### Cyber

1. Impersonation

- Definition: Pretending to be someone else online to trick people.

- Example: Using someone else's name and pictures to fool others on social media.

2. Flaming

- Definition: Sending angry or rude messages online to upset someone.

- Example: Writing mean comments on someone's post to make them feel bad.

3. Cyber Stalking

- Definition: Repeatedly sending messages or following someone online to scare them.

- Example: Constantly sending messages to someone even after they ask you to stop.

4. Harassment

- Definition: Repeatedly bothering someone in a way that makes them feel bad or scared.

- Example: Sending mean messages every day to make someone feel upset.

5. Denigration

- Definition: Saying bad things about someone to ruin their reputation.

- Example: Posting lies about someone online to make others dislike them.

6. Exclusion

- Definition: Leaving someone out of online groups or activities on purpose.

- Example: Not inviting someone to join an online game because you want them to feel left out.

7. Trickery

- Definition: Using lies to fool someone into giving you their private information.

- Example: Pretending to be a friend to get someone's password.

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Bullying can make it hard for kids to concentrate and learn in class because they are always worried about being bullied. For example, if a kid is afraid someone will take their lunch money, they might not pay attention to the teacher.

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### Rozanne's Recount of the Bullying Incident

Every morning, my sister Eliz and I board the school bus to get to school. Usually, Eliz and I sit in separate seats, but recently, she's been having some difficulty adjusting to primary school. To help her out, we asked the bus aunty if we could sit together. She agreed, and since last Friday, 19 January, we've been sitting together with her permission.

This Monday, 22 January, and the following days, Eliz and I continued to sit together on the bus. We always board before Student A and her sister, who usually sit together, too.

### The Incident

On 24 January, Eliz and I went to the canteen after getting off the bus at 6.20 am. A and her sister followed us, and when we sat down at a bench, A, her sister, and another girl named Seraphina came up to us.

A started threatening us. She said, “If I had a knife, I would cut your tummy out with it. If I had a weapon, I would whip you with it.” Then she said, “You had better not take my bus seat, or else the next time I will take it away from you,” and followed it up with some really bad words.

Eliz was so scared she hid behind me. I tried to be brave, but I was scared too. A picked up a hand sanitiser from the table and held it close to my face, saying, “I will squeeze this right into your face.” I quickly blocked it away and stared at her, trying to show I wasn't afraid. But inside, I was trembling. A's sister and Seraphina laughed at us the whole time.

### Moving Away

I decided we should move away from them, so I took Eliz to her Class 1J as fast as possible. When we arrived, A and her sister were already waiting at the entrance. Eliz started crying, and I tried to calm her down. A and her sister teased us, calling us “such babies” and laughing at us.

### Talking to Seraphina

Later, I went to my class, 3E, and asked Seraphina if A was her friend. She said yes. I figured Seraphina probably knew A's real name since they might have been classmates.

### Telling Our Parents

When we got home, Eliz and I were still very upset. We told our parents everything that happened, and I explained how I tried to be strong for Eliz, but I was scared, too. We both cried a lot while talking about it.

### Informing the School

My dad called the school at 5:20 p.m. and spoke to the vice principal, Mr. Ho. He said the school would be on alert and told us to go to the General Office if we felt unsafe or were being followed when we got to school tomorrow.

### Changes for Safety

Starting 25 January, Eliz and I won't sit in the bus seats A and her sister claim, just to stay safe. I hope things get better from now on.

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When a child is bullied, He or she might have changes of behavior because they are usually affected, lonely, angry or sad.

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If a kid has bruises or cuts and doesn't want to say how they got them, it could be because of bullying. For example, if a kid always comes home with torn clothes or scraped knees, they might be getting pushed or hit by bullies.

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When a kid's books or clothes are often lost or broken, it might be because bullies are taking or destroying them. For instance, if a kid's schoolbag is usually ripped or their pencils are always missing, it could be a sign of bullying.