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Albin-Clark, J., Shirley, I., Webster, M., & Woolhouse, C. (2016). Relationships in early childhood education – beyond the professional into the personal within the teacher–child dyad: Relationships ‘that ripple in the pond.’ Early Child Development and Care, 188(2), 88–101. https://doi.org/10.1080/03004430.2016.1220374

Amato, P. R., & Afifi, T. D. (2006). Feeling caught between parents: Adult Children's relations with parents and subjective well-being. Journal of Marriage and Family, 68(1), 222–235. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2006.00243.x

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Bornstein, Putnick, D. L., & Suwalsky, J. T. D. (2016). Infant-Mother and Infant-Caregiver Emotional Relationships: Process Analyses of Interactions in Three Contemporary Childcare Arrangements. Infancy, 21(1), 8–36. https://doi.org/10.1111/infa.12097

Chen, Brody, G. H., & Miller, G. E. (2017). Childhood Close Family Relationships and Health. The American Psychologist, 72(6), 555–566. https://doi.org/10.1037/amp0000067

Colonnesi, C., Zeegers, M. A. J., Majdandžić, M., van Steensel, F. J. A., & Bögels, S. M. (2019). Fathers’ and Mothers’ Early Mind-Mindedness Predicts Social Competence and Behavior Problems in Childhood. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 47(9), 1421–1435. https://doi-org.proxylib.csueastbay.edu/10.1007/s10802-019-00537-2

Darling-Churchill, & Lippman, L. (2016). Early childhood social and emotional development: Advancing the field of measurement. Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, 45, 1–7. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.appdev.2016.02.002

Fay-Stammbach, Hawes, D. J., & Meredith, P. (2014). Parenting Influences on Executive Function in Early Childhood: A Review. Child Development Perspectives, 8(4), 258–264. https://doi.org/10.1111/cdep.12095

Frosch, Schoppe-Sullivan, S. J., & O’Banion, D. D. (2021). Parenting and Child Development: A Relational Health Perspective. American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine, 15(1), 45–59. https://doi.org/10.1177/1559827619849028

Gregoriadis, A., & Grammatikopoulos, V. (2013). Teacher–child relationship quality in early childhood education: The importance of relationship patterns. Early Child Development and Care, 184(3), 386–402. https://doi.org/10.1080/03004430.2013.790383

Grigg, A. E. (1959). Childhood experience with parental attitudes: A test of Roe’s hypothesis. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 6(2), 153–155. https://doi-org.proxylib.csueastbay.edu/10.1037/h0044377

Grundy AM, Gondoli DM, Blodgett Salafia EH. Maternal Knowledge and Maternal Behavior Control as Predictors of Preadolescent Behavioral Competence. The Journal of Early Adolescence. 2010;30(3):410-431. doi:10.1177/0272431609333302

Hughes, R. (1985). The Informal Help-Giving of Home and Center Childcare Providers. Family Relations, 34(3), 359–366. https://doi.org/10.2307/583574

`Kulkarni, C. (2010). The power of positive parenting. Invest in Kids. Retrieved July 20,  2012, from http://investinkids.ca/

Li, C., Jiang, S., Fan, X., & Zhang, Q. (2020). Exploring the impact of marital relationship on the mental health of children: Does parent–child relationship matter? Journal of Health Psychology, 25(10–11), 1669–1680. https://doi.org/10.1177/1359105318769348

Longley, J. M., & Gilken, J. M. (2020). Mentoring in Early Childhood Settings: Elements of Effective Relationships. Dimensions of Early Childhood, 48(1), 17–21.

Lytle, M. C., Foley, P. F., & Aster, A. M. (2012). Adult children of gay and lesbian parents. The Counseling Psychologist, 41(4), 530–567. https://doi.org/10.1177/0011000012449658

Murray, K. W., Dwyer, K. M., Rubin, K. H., Knighton-Wisor, S., & Booth-LaForce, C. (2013). Parent–child relationships, parental psychological control, and aggression: Maternal and paternal relationships. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 43(8), 1361–1373. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10964-013-0019-1

Newland, R. P., Ciciolla, L., & Crnic, K. A. (2014). Crossover effects among parental hostility and parent–child relationships during the preschool period. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 24(7), 2107–2119. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-014-0012-7

Nora Bezzone, Penélope Lodeyro, Lucrecia Spaini, Alejandra Vieitez, Patricia Turello, Estela Heredia, María José Nieto, Fernanda Ramos, & Ruth Alicia Fernández. (2020). Study of early childhood development and its relationship with parenting practices in poverty contexts within the city of Córdoba. Revista de La Facultad de Ciencias Médicas de Córdoba, 77(4), 291–295. https://doi.org/10.31053/1853.0605.v77.n4.28449

Obeldobel, C. A., & Kerns, K. A. (2021). A literature review of gratitude, parent–child relationships, and well-being in children. Developmental Review, 61, 100948-100951. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.dr.2021.100948

Pietromonaco, P. R., & Overall, N. C. (2021). Applying relationship science to evaluate how the COVID-19 pandemic may impact couples’ relationships. American Psychologist, 76(3), 438–450. https://doi.org/10.1037/amp0000714

Teufl, L., & Ahnert, L. (2022). Parent–child play and parent–child relationship: Are fathers special? Journal of Family Psychology, 36(3), 416–426. https://doi-org.proxylib.csueastbay.edu/10.1037/fam0000933.supp

Vaughn, Waters, T. E. A., Steele, R. D., Roisman, G. I., Bost, K. K., Truitt, W., Waters, H. S., & Booth-Laforce, C. (2016). Multiple domains of parental secure base support during childhood and adolescence contribute to adolescents’ representations of attachment as a secure base script. Attachment & Human Development, 18(4), 317–336. https://doi.org/10.1080/14616734.2016.1162180

Zhong, He, Y., Gao, J., Wang, T., & Luo, R. (2020). Parenting Knowledge, Parental Investments, and Early Childhood Development in Rural Households in Western China. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 17(8), 2792-2803. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph17082792

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The Power of Relationships in Early Childhood Development

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The Power of Relationships in Early Childhood Development

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https://www.parentune.com/parent-blog/how-relationship-between-parents-affects-the-child/2760

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How Relationship Between Mom and Dad Affects Child? | Parentune.com

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In India, couples often get married quite young, and progress to the next step of having a child soon afterward. Unfortunately, a lot of these couples are fairl

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https://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/pediatricians-endorse-gay-marriage-healthy-kids-article-1.1294914

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Gay marriage endorsed by American Academy of Pediatrics: ‘It is in the best interests of their children’

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The nation’s most influential pediatrician’s group has endorsed gay marriage, saying a stable relationship between parents regardless of sexual orientation contributes to a child’s health and well-being.

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https://quotesgram.com/quotes-about-relationships-with-parents/

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Discover and share Quotes About Relationships With Parents. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love.

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How Toxic Relationship Between Parents Harm Children and 8 Ways to Avoid This

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How Toxic Relationship Between Parents Harm Children and 8 Ways to Avoid This

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https://brightside.me/inspiration-family-and-kids/how-toxic-relationships-between-parents-harm-children-and-8-ways-to-avoid-this-794922/

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Bright Side - Inspiration. Creativity. Wonder.

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Children experience stress in the same way as adults. Approximately 13% of children have anxiety because they are in an unhealthy environment. Toxic relationships between parents are dangerous for the present and future life of a kid and it is important to know the ways to avoid the consequences.

We at Bright Side know how important it is for everyone to have healthy relationships, especially between parents and children. And we found 8 ways to avoid stressing your kid out from being around a toxic relationship.

1. They can feel sick all the time.

"Tell your daddy that I won't talk to him." These phrases, baked with negative emotions toward your partner, show a child the wrong way to be a family. A study showed that if you don't control your emotions, they may affect the physical health of your child.

At the same time, parents who can manage their feelings, have children who score higher on math and reading tests.

What to do: Try to control your feelings if there is a fight and there is a kid nearby. Some people start going to psychologist sessions or buy special books. There should be an agreement between partners that you don't use your child to manipulate each other.

2. They get used to being the victim.

When there is psychological abuse by a partner that is humiliating or destroying, there is an indirect abuse of a child. Kids become victims and can have a bad emotional experience.

What to do: Accept that you may be part of a problem too is hard, but you need to at least be honest with yourself. Awareness can bring you to a new level and maybe it will be the beginning of solving your problems. Have a therapy session together with a spouse or alone, if you feel you need it.

Think about what you're going to say or do. If you need time to calm down, take it. It is always better than having constant emotional discussions or complaining in front of your child.

3. They feel guilty.

During hard times, divorce, and in toxic relationships, the feeling of the family is lost, and very often kids may feel guilty for quarrels and like it is up to them to solve everything. Children might try to unite their parents in their own way or even react unpredictably: yelling, crying, or refusing to do something.

What to do: You need to tell your kid that it's not their fault that their parents have fights, problems, or that they are getting a divorce. It will relieve your children of a heavy burden and won't leave a mark on them psychologically.

4. They blame themselves.

When a parent feels guilty all the time, this kind of mood can rub off on their kid. In some cases, parents buy lots of toys and candy to please their child, in other cases, they don't notice anything except their own pain.

What to do: Let it go and stop feeling regretful about things. Each time you start feeling guilty, just switch to some other activity. It can even be spending time with your child. Stop spoiling your kid with toys, because the best gift is your attention.

5. They believe their feelings are not important.

Negative feelings are also important feelings and parents shouldn't ignore them, according to psychologists. For example, your kid can be acting aggressive or suddenly become too sensitive. Pay attention, maybe it happened when you started to fight with your partner.

What to do: Parents can encourage their child to express their feelings via stories, drawings, and games. For example, you can ask them to do a drawing of your family. Check out the little details in this drawing to understand if something is bothering your child.

6. They are depressed.

A study showed that depression in mothers is significantly associated with less warmth in parenting and it can lead to psychological problems for their kid in the future.

What to do: A happy parent is a happy kid. Start a hobby with your child that you wanted to start a long time ago. Children should see their parents smiling, not crying and fighting all the time.

If you can, talk to your spouse about setting some rules that can help to protect your child from conflicts. The kid shouldn't see you solving the same problems all the time and not being able to find a solution.

7. They are pushed to pick a side.

A child can't handle toxic relationships between parents, so they often choose the side of one parent. But this is not natural and will leave a scar on that child's psychology. So, it is important that they get enough love from both parents.

Pushing them to pick a side can include:

Showing irritation when your kid is with the other parent

Exaggerating the mistakes of the other parent

Involving other family members or friends to push the child to pick a side

What to do: Explain to your kid that both of their parents love them and that both parents should be in their life.

8. They feel anxious and in danger.

Children are sensitive and even if they don't understand the root of a problem, they can feel that something is wrong. Each kid might react in a different way, including aggression, isolation, and bad behavior. Children's anxiety and a feeling that they are in danger can have an effect on their thinking because they perceive the fear as being much greater than it actually is.

What to do: Remind your kid that they are safe. There is no need to explain every detail about why their parents are fighting. Just give your kid the feeling that they are not in danger.

Was our article useful for you? Do you have any secrets for growing healthy children, despite problems with your spouse? Please share your experience with us below!

Illustrated by Daniil Shubin, Anastasiya Pavlova for Bright Side

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How Toxic Relationships Between Parents Harm Children and 8 Ways to Avoid This

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Children experience stress in the same way as adults. Approximately 13% of children have anxiety because they are in an unhealthy environment. Toxic relationships between parents are dangerous for the present and future life of a kid and it is important to know the ways to avoid the consequences.

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This semester we have been connecting attachment styles, quality of caregiving experiences, and parenting types between the parent and child relationship. We are: Kathryn Sadler, Emily Manley, Pamela Dizon, Mirna Barrera, and Daisy Darden.

Kathryn is a senior at East Bay, graduating with a Human Development degree. She works as a teacher in a preschool and is mostly interested in learning about all the different extensions of child development. Kathryn enjoys hiking in her free-time and could see Emily on the trails as she is fond of hiking too. Emily can be found crafting, swimming, reading, or taking pictures with her camera when she isn't studying. Emily is a hardworking student and was inspired by her grandmother to become a teacher. Pamela has been working as a teacher for twenty years and is almost finished with her degree in Human Development. Pamela is a mother, grandmother, personal trainer, and past Raiderette to name a few things! She is focused on supporting children in their mental health. Daisy is also an advocate for mental health, which has brought her into the Human Development concentration. She loves coffee and playing with her dog and wants to further her education in the long run. Mirna is a liberal studies major with a minor in Human Development looking to become a teacher. She was inspired by her amazing educators and can't wait to become a teacher in the classroom after she graduates this semester!

We are excited to delve deeper into the connections with early children's development of self-identity and the level of direct caregiving relationships present in the child's life.

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Group topic statements:

Our group topic for this research project is the relationship between parents and their children. Each family has a different relationship with their children. There are some families where you can see the relationship that the parents have with their children, but there are other families where you cannot see that relationship. The age that we mainly focus on is young children, but it is good to talk about the parent-child relationship for any age child because the child’s age change can also affect the relationship that they have with their parents. “Emerging data suggest that during childhood, close family relationships can ameliorate the impact that adversity has on life span physical health.” (Chen, Brody, & Miller, 2017). The child’s health is also a big factor when it comes to any parent-child relationship. The cognitive development that occurs during these stages, as well as the influence that parental interactions have on the developing child's temperament, behaviors, and the formation of self-security and confidence, are all important considerations. This can also be connected to the social and emotional development of the child. “Research and practice around understanding and supporting young children’s social and emotional development have been in existence for decades.” (Darling-Churchill, & Lippman, 2016). The way that this connects to the parent-child relationships is because it talks about what could be going on with the child and this could affect the child's relationship with their parents. We can raise understanding of the various influences that parental schedules, home routines, and family demographics can have on a child's development by increasing knowledge of these influences. “We also discuss directions for research on transactional parent-child dynamics; experimental tests of causation, and differential susceptibility to environmental influence.” (Fay-Stammbach, Hawes, & Meredith, 2014). When it comes to the parent-child relationship it is also important for them to have a strong dynamic. The early experiences of a young child with the social environment, as well as much of what they learn about how to speak and connect with others, are largely influenced by their parents. We will cover the benefits of having a loving, secure relationship with one's parents, as well as the bad aspects of having a neglected or abusive relationship with one's parents. The way that the parents interact with the child is how the child develops attachment toward there the parents. “Parental mind-mindedness, the parent’s propensity to treat the child as an intentional agent, has repeatedly shown to promote children’s development of social understanding and secure attachment.” (Colonnesi, Zeegers, Majdandžić, Steensel, & Bögels, 2019). The attachment that the child has with the parents is a big part of the relationship. Having a strong parent-child relationship is a big part of a child's life and it could affect them later in life. “Among the many relationships that influence children’s growth and development, perhaps the most influential is the one that exists between parent and child. The relationship between the parent and child can affect the child’s health.” (Forsch, Schoppe-Sullivan, & O’Banion, 2019). A child's health is very important and should be one of their top priorities. The parent-child relationship can also be seen in the classroom and the child may go to a teacher they trust to talk about what is going on at home. “The dyadic nature of the teacher-child relationship is recognized as a significant factor in young children’s learning experiences.” (Albin-Clark, Shirley, Webster, & Woolhouse, 2016). The child-teacher relationship is just as strong as the relationship the child may have with their parents. The parent-child relationship should be stronger than the relationship between the child and their teacher. “The purpose of this study was to examine kindergarten teachers’ and children’s perceptions of their relationships following a person-centered approach, and to describe patterns of relationships between them.” (Gregoroadis, & Grammatikopoulos, 2013). Usually, if a child needs to go to a teacher, then will go to the same teacher all the time.

Subtopics:

1. How parents interact with their children is different for each type of family. The parent and child relationship is a strong one but it all depends on how the parents are treating their children. This is for any age and it should not matter how old the child is, parents should always love their children no matter what. The way that parents’ attitudes are can also affect the type of relationship that they may have with their children. “The results obtained in part support and part are contrary to Roe’s hypothesis concerning the relationship between early childhood experiences and the subsequent development of interest.” (Grigg, 1959). The way the parent's attitudes are can have a big impact on the child's childhood experiences.

2. some parents feel like they need to control their children, and this even happens to college students. College students, these children are leaving the home to become independent, but their parents are not helping them. They are trying to control their children even though they are leaving the home to start a new chapter in their life.

3. Families have gone through so much throughout COVID and for some families, it can change their relationship. COVID has affected the parents' relationships with each other which also can affect the relationship that they have with their children.

4. some children have two moms or two dads but this does not change the relationship that they have with their children. This is for not just young children but also for adult children who have two moms or two dads. The relationship with their children is just as strong as families with both a mom and dad.

5. The term "good" or "positive" parenting. Kulkarni describes “positive” parenting as parents being, “warm and nurturing, and showing unconditional love for their children to flourish” (Kulkarni, 2010). Being able to measure these outcomes through the use of a structured method, and giving parents information on effective parenting techniques, will provide the resources necessary to offset and/or avoid abuse and neglect. “There is clear evidence that positive (i.e., cooperative/prosocial) behaviors of children aged 2-12 years are more likely to provide positive parental reactions, whereas children with negative (e.g., disruptive) behaviors often get negative reactions for their parents.” (Briegel, Greuel, Stroth, & Heinrichs, 2019). The child’s behavior usually is caused by the parent's behavior.

6. How happiness and gratitude in children, parent-child d interactions, and overall well-being are influenced. Gratitude as an affective experience is mostly measured by self-report measures that tap into emotional experiences, which is the most common form of measurement. This can happen if the parents are divorced or not. “The present study estimates the effects of marital discord, as well as divorce, on young adult offspring’s feeling of being caught in the middle (N=632).” (Amato & Afifi, 2006). This is all for the well-being of the child because the most important part of the parent-child relationship is the well-being of the child.

7. How parents must be sensitive playmates to provide high-quality levels of parent-child play. Sensitive playmates must first adjust their behaviors to the child's developing and monitoring play scripts. Parents should encourage and affirm what games their children wish to play, but they should keep instructions, explanations, and limits to a minimum, as this could threaten the child's involvement in the game

8. The nature of a parent-child relationship represents the level of emotional connection that exists between parent and child, with most children developing aggression as a result of their interactions with their parents. The maternal connection with the child is the strongest. “Four years of self-report data were collected from 133 mothers and their preadolescents, beginning when the preadolescents were in 4th grade.” (Grundy, Gondoli, & Boldgett Salafia, 2010). This is when the child gets older and the relationship between the parent and child could start not to be as strong as it was.

9. The essential subsystem in a family that has a substantial impact on the family's function. One of the articles discusses the family structure beginning with the development of one relationship. In both methodological and empirical settings, the impact of marital partnerships on children's mental health has been investigated.

10. There is a different type of relationship when it comes to the mother and the child. There is sometimes a stronger connection between them than it would be between a father and the child. “Emotional relationships in infant-mother dyads in families where mothers provided full-time childcare were compared with those of families where mothers use in-home child-care providers and family child care providers (N=245)". (Bornstein, Putnick, & Suwalsky, 2016). The relationship between the mother and the child does not change if the mother works or does not work.

11. There is also a strong relationship that is formed between caregivers, that are not parents, and children. Children sometimes have mentors outside of the household, in settings such as after-school programs, shelters/ group homes, and many more. “Centers and home providers are important sources of support for the well-being of a child's environment." (Hughes, 1985). All of these places are there to support the child in whatever they need.

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Worldwide, “caregivers’ parenting knowledge is positively and significantly associated with children’s development outcomes, including cognitive, language, motor, and social–emotional development” (Zhong et al, 2020). Our group has chosen to focus on the cognitive development present within these stages and the impact parental relationships pose on the developing child's temperament, behaviors, and establishment of self-security and confidence. We can implement a larger awareness of the different impacts parental schedules, home routines, and family demographics can have on the child's development. Differences in a child’s demographic can really affect their early temperament and participation in the world. A study done on parental hostility and the effect on parent-child relationship was done in 2014 in which different family dynamics were present and created stronger imbalances, such as in father-child relationships (Newland, Ciciolla, & Crnic, 2014).  The young child's first experiences of the social world and much of what they understand in how to communicate and interact with others comes from their parents. In another study based around parenting practices in the context of poverty, “it can be assumed that development, as a process, is associated with adult-child interaction, mother-child communication and the visualization that parents have of the child's autonomy. 001) and the employment status of the mother (or father)” (Bezzone et al, 2020). In the field of child development, parental relationships with their children can easily define how children collaborate in the social world and serve as children’s first educators and help establish their initial views of the world. Mental health in children is frequently tied to their secure connections with their parents or direct caregivers and Obeldobel and Kerns “examined gratitude, subjective well-being, or psychopathology” in their research to determine correlations between this positive mental health and positive parenting experiences (Obeldobel & Kerns, 2021). Positive parenting experiences contribute to the whole child as they develop the different domains of learning. Attachment styles are direct examples of the effect types of parenting has on a child and these representations of attachments are tested as  “correlation and regression analyses showed that a range of social, behavioral, cognitive, and demographic variables were associated with the secure” (Vaughn et al, 2016). In conclusion, the associations between parenting relationships with children are strongly associated with self security and success in the social world and the relationships' security are dependent on socio-economic status, community support, and parental involvement.

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https://kids.lovetoknow.com/child-behavior-development-parenting/parent-child-relationship-problems

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Contributor: Erin Tebben, Behavioral Health Counselor

Building and maintaining a relationship with a child takes work. Even the most loving parents must put a lot of time and effort into developing positive relationships with their children. Yet parents can still have problems with their children, even if they've done everything they can to avoid them. When problems arise, don't spend time lamenting the broken relationship. Instead, take the necessary steps to fix the problems, and start rebuilding healthy relationships with your children. Whether the children are four or fourteen, it's not too late to start to make the relationship right.

The Importance of the Parent/Child Relationship

The parent/child relationship plays a critical role in a child's development. "When kids have dependable, reliable, consistent and stable relationships with their parents, they have a secure base from which they can explore and experience their world, leading to healthy growth and development," says Erin Tebben, a clinical counselor, who regularly works directly with parents to help improve how they interact with their children. Tebben also notes that "kids also use their relationships with their parents as models for relationships with others. If they do not have a strong, positive relationship with their parents, it will be much more difficult for them to develop strong, positive relationships as they interact with others."

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While there's no recipe for building a healthy parent/child relationship, parents can do a few things to help build a positive relationship and prevent many of the common relationship problems. For parents, problems can often be avoided or lessened by remembering these three approaches.

Parents should communicate with their children, encouraging their children to express their emotions and share their needs.

Parents should provide for their children, meeting both their physical and emotional needs.

Parents should provide consistent discipline, setting healthy boundaries and making sure kids follow them.

Five Common Relationship Problems

Often, despite a parent's best efforts, parent/child relational problems arise. These problems may start when a child is young or develop as a child gets older and enters different stages of development. For example, a teenager may show a lack of respect for her parents as she begins to become more self-absorbed and depend more on her friends than her family. Some problems require a little extra time and focused attention to make them disappear, while others may require parents to drastically change their style of parenting and how they interact with their children on a daily basis.

Lack of Respect

Children who do not respect their parents often show their lack of respect by failing to obey their parents or showing a disregard for their emotions and feelings. This lack of respect may transfer to a child's self-respect, causing him to make bad choices. It may also transfer to how a child respects others, making him treat others poorly. While sometimes a lack of respect simply comes as kids begin to rely less on their parents and more on the world, parents can continue to foster a sense of respect by:

Setting rules and following up with reasonable consequences

Showing respect to their children

Modeling respect when interacting with others

Parenting with confidence; make a decision and stick to it

Lack of Trust

Parents whose children have made a host of mistakes or who regularly engage in dishonest behaviors may have difficulty trusting their children. In order to rebuild trust in their children, parents need to give them a chance to demonstrate they are worthy of that trust. To build trust, parents should:

Teach children the importance of being honest.

Create a plan to help rebuild lost trust.

React positively when children tell the truth, even if they share negative information.

Children whose parents regularly lie to them, betray their confidence, or fail to follow through on their promises may also experience a lack of trust in the parent/child relationship. Parents can help their children trust them by:

Not making promises they can't keep

Following through on promises made

Keeping private information private

Talking to children about why something shared in confidence must occasionally be shared with others

Always being truthful with children

Lack of Communication

A lack of communication can be one of the most frustrating problems for both parents and children. Parents feel like their children don't listen to a word they say, while children feel like their parents don't understand them or never take the time to listen. When this happens, instead of working harder to communicate, parents and kids often stop communicating entirely, leading to anger, sadness and a host of other negative emotions.

Parents who have trouble getting their kids to listen should follow a few guidelines when talking to their kids:

Get on the child's level

Use positive phrasing

Offer choices

Keep it short

Stay calm

Parents whose children complain they never listen to them should:

Regularly take time to let children talk

Avoid responding with strong emotion

Focus on the child's interests and feelings

Give children full attention while they're talking

Codependence

Sometimes the child and parent relationship is thrown off balance. Instead of the parent taking care of the child, the child may feel a need to take care of the parent. This may happen when a parent expect a child to become more like a friend, listening to the parent's problems and providing a social outlet for the parent. It may also happen when parents become depressed, disabled, or otherwise able to care for themselves. Children may act in ways designed to make mom or dad happy, try to solve family problems on their own, or even simply take on the majority of daily tasks around the home, such as cooking or cleaning.

Parents who find themselves becoming too dependent on their children should:

Seek out others to provide emotional support

Set healthy boundaries with your child

Remind yourself and your child of your roles in the home

Children may also be too dependent on their parents. This may happen when parents regularly make decisions or try to solve problems for their children instead of letting them safely venture out on their own. Children may also act in ways designed to get the approval of their parents, rather than coming up with their own thoughts, ideas, and interests.

When codependence becomes a problem, parents should:

Give children a chance to take on age-appropriate tasks

Allow children to safely solve their own problems

Encourage children to develop their own interests

Physical and Verbal Abuse

Abuse requires immediate help and should be reported, but not all physical and verbal abuse leads to hospital visits, nor does it always take place in the open. In fact, even good parents can occasionally be guilty of abuse. They may hit a child or inflict pain on a child during a moment of stress. Other parents may use words to demean their children, regularly putting them down, yelling at them, or telling them they are not good enough. Seek help in situations by contacting the following for help:

Emergency assistance for immediate danger - Call 911 if a child or parent is in immediate danger.

Hotlines - Contact a national child abuse hotline like Childhelp for help, support, and connection to local authorities.

Local human services or assistance programs - Call your local state agency to report and seek assistance.

If you are or suspect someone is abusing your child, getting help through therapy and other programs can help to lessen the impact on a child and improve your parenting style. Child abuse is clearly a parent problem and the focus on fixing it is on the parent - but children will react to abuse in different ways. While an abusive parent may not always recognize that he or she is being abusive, there are few things parents can do to stop abuse should it happen:

Seek the help of a professional, like a therapist, counselor or doctor

Look for signs of fear when a child approaches

Listen to a child and stop negative behaviors if a child cries or says she is hurt

Pay attention to other adults who express concerns

Take a moment to step away and breathe when tempted to act out of anger

Use only positive words and phrases when talking with children

Occasionally, children may also abuse their parents. As children grow stronger, they can start to hit, bite, or physically attack their parents in other ways. They may also start to call their parents names or criticize them in other ways. Children may abuse their parents when they get angry and do not how to control their emotions, when they want to gain control, or even when they are under the influence of alcohol or illegal substances. Abused parents do not have to sit back and allow their children to abuse them. Instead they should take steps to stop the abuse, which include:

Getting professional help for the family and/or the child. In extreme cases, this could be a medical emergency that requires immediate psychological help through an inpatient psychiatric facility. Especially if they are seriously harming others.

Respond firmly, but calmly

Helping the child find healthy ways to express anger

Not retaliating or responding in kind

Rebuilding a Positive Relationship

Rebuilding a positive relationship with a child takes three main components: love, structure, and time. "Kids need a balance of things in order to grow and thrive. They need love and warmth and they also need structure and consistency. Frequently, when parents and children report feeling dissatisfied with their relationships with each other, the balance between love and warmth and structure and consistency is thrown off. Kids also need time from their parents and they need to know that they will have time from their parents when they need it," says Tebben.

Solving Your Problems

While some parent/child relationship problems may require a professional, such as a social worker or counselor, to step in, most parents and children can solve their problems on their own. Parents need to communicate to their children that they love them and that they have their best interests at heart. They also need to take the time to interact with their children, figure out what may be at the root of the problem, and also give children time to share their emotions and needs. When parents and children take the time to communicate with one another regularly and act out of the mutual love they have for one another, most problems will become temporary obstacles rather than major roadblocks in the relationship.

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Parent-Child Relationship Problems | LoveToKnow

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Contributor: Erin Tebben, Behavioral Health Counselor Building and maintaining a relationship with a child takes work. Even the most loving parents must put a lot of time and effort into developing positive relationships with their children. Yet parents can still have problems with their children, even if they've done everything they can to avoid them.

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The type of bond that develops between a child and his or her parent at a young age is critical and has a big impact on the child's life. How the parent relates with the child at an early stage determines how the child perceives things, ability to trust, capability, flexibility, level of confidence, and communication skills.A better relationship between a parent and an infant depends on how often you bond with them. When a parent starts interacting with the child when still young, this influences how the relationship between them will be and impacts the child’s emotions and how they respond to them (FIRST 5 Santa Clara County, 2022). When the relationship is strong and positive, the child develops higher self-esteem, better performance at school, able to solve problems effectively, ability to trust other people, the ability to express themselves, and lower anxiety and vice versa in case of a weak bond.A strong relationship between a parent and a child can be created in several ways. These ways include;Listening to the ChildThis is done by responding to your child’s needs, showing them that you are paying attention to them. It also involves supporting them at all times, showing love to them, giving them a chance to express themselves, and showing interest in what they are saying.Being AvailableThis involves being there for your child as many times as possible. It may include engaging in activities together with them, like playing together (Dr. Celina, 2022). This will help build up trust as well as make them feel secure around you.Showing Them LoveThis involves expressing your love to them for who they are even if they are wrong or didn’t perform as you expected as a parent. It proves to them that your love for them doesn’t depend on certain conditions.In conclusion, the kind of relationship developed between the child and the parent impacts the child’s future behavior and personality and, therefore, defines the child's behavior. Therefore, parents should focus on creating a strong positive bond between them and their children to ensure a positive impact on the child’s life by listening to the child, showing then love, and being available as many times as possible. ReferencesFIRST 5 Santa Clara County. (2022). The Power of Relationships in Early Childhood Development (Part 1) [Image]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Bas3pr6AXMDr. Celina. (2022). Attachment Theory: How to Develop a Secure Parent Child Relationship [Image]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.Attachment Theory: How to Develop a Secure Parent Child Relationshipcom/watch?v=so51x2pGDec&t=29s ~Pamela Dizon