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I liked your story, it was pretty good. I also liked the fact that you had a little backstory. I liked the character and her persistence to achieve a big goal. I liked that you had a bit of mystery in the storyline. I like that at the end of each chapter there's a hook to make you keep reading. Overall I liked the book!

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Your story was super good, I would never expect a ten year old to make this good of a story. I could just imagine all of the different scenes that you wrote in your story. I also like how you added chapter four about clearing all of the confusing things up. I liked how you added a bunch of different details to the story, it really made the story much more enjoyable. I really liked your hook, since it made me want to read more of the story. If you ever publish the story I would really like to read it. I still can't believe that a ten year old wrote this. This story is amazing, good job!

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The book was good because she worth a lot.She also separated the paragraphs perfectly.I also like how she made readers want to read it more at the end.She also made the story entertaining.She was very good at writing.She also did the quotation marks correctly.

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So far it is an awesome story. There is tons of suspense. Though I feel like Emy's friends are basically the same person. Emy is such a complex character with really complex problems. The flashbacks gives the reader a sense of nostalgia. Her brothers were also part of the problem.

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First of all, when I first read this, I didn't even think you were a 10-year-old!Never could I write this well. This is better than some of the best books I've read.I whish that I can read the whole book.How will a croc be involved in the book?How will Emy figure out how to survive?Honestly I still don't think that you are a 10 year old.This is amazing.

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It was very interesting I liked the way that it was descriptive and it was very interesting.The beginning was very good and made me want to read more.I thought that the story idea was good.I liked all the dialogue,and how all the details made it clear why the the character felt that way. I really enjoyed reading it

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I really loved your story! You gave so much detail and in was really fun to read. I liked the way you put in words that made the story more clear. I also liked how chapter five was about thing that people may be confused about. I think this story is something that a teenager would write, not a ten year old! I think you also did a good job on making the story interesting because it was so long but it was still interesting.

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This is a very good writing paragraph. Also you did a very good hook. I like how the main character has a goal to reach. Emy is a very good character as well. Although there is a bit of typos so I got kind of confused for a second. Good job for adding the clarification for readers who don't know what is going on right now in chapter 4. Also the flashbacks from Emy and Pops playing together and Emy remembering everything that they did together. I love the cliffhanger for all of the words you added. This book is an amazing book!

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I think that the five chapters I read were very interesting,I like how you named all the chapters they were all very unique and intriguing. I like how in the first chapter you named it meet Emy Cheesly,I told people who she was and introduced her. I love all of the details you put in and how you described her family,and what they did.

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I liked the book a lot. I like that there is a cliffhanger(I think)and there are things that are happy but some that are sad. Plus, I like that it is in a mouse's view. The dreams add some dramatic effect to the book! Though I feel that some of Chapter 4 like the boys' roles should be moved to Chapter 1. Though the dialogue is really good. I feel you added all the detail and everything that needs to be added in the book. I liked when Emy was talking to her friends and her dreams. I loved the book!

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I really liked how you used descriptive words to describe things like the mouse was barely the size of a peanut. I also love the names of all the chapters they were super unique. When this book gets published I would love to read it!

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I really like how in the 4th chapter you said stuff about the brothers because now we know more about them. Also I hope you go back to the 4th paragraph in chapter 5. I think you will be a great writer one day. I like how it feels like you are telling us a story in real life. I also like how you made her different from other people. I am so excited to read more!

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I liked the way you made it look really professional, especially the tabs and enters you made. It also looks like some professional writer wrote it and I would totally read it further. I liked the detailed passages you made, especially the detailed part when Emy got rejected by her friends. When you described her expressions, I felt that I could visualize your story better. One other thing that I liked about your story was chapter four, the clarification. Sometimes in a story that I am reading, there are some characters that I just don't know and I get all confused so that chapter about the brothers really helped me understand the story better. I also noticed that the chapter titles were really accurate to the story. Sometimes I have trouble coming up with chapters when I have to write fictional stories, so I found that impressive. I also enjoyed your hook, which made me want to get into the story and start reading it. I liked the fact that once I finish reading one of the chapters, I feel like I need to read the next and so on. I think that you should totally keep on adding on to the story and brainstorming some more. I think that the whole idea of the fictional story about a mouse is really smart and imaginative. Usually, stories are about a person, but I don't see too many animal stories. Once I started to read, I soon came to the end of the story and realized that it was the end and that there was no more! I really liked the story overall and the way it looked as well

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Click on the link below to access the story

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https://docs.google.com/document/d/16kHZRQIc-TpC-x_A3w7-W34gbImprWm6fZsltZNz82A/edit?usp=sharing