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Hi Im Bisexual, and this is my Bi-Curious Boyfriend

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I came out to my family back in June 26, 2021.

My coming out experience was NOT at all what I wanted, and yet, not everyones is. I still remember the shouting, the "Youre confused", "You dont know yourself, I do". For the last 2 years I went through every phrase, and invalidation in the book. Even now my family continues to say, "Ill believe it when I see it".

Ive never dated a girl. Ive liked girls before but Ive never had the honor to date someone of the same sex. Even so, I know Im Bisexual, and I refuse to let anyone tell me otherwise. Even now, when I first started dating my boyfriend, Khoa, my mothers first words were, "So you ARE giving me grandkids some day huh?". Which ultimately implied she assumed my love for women was done with.

Ever since coming out, apart from the judging from my family, Ive been so, so much more happier. I grew to learn about the love behind found family. I made friends who felt more like home, and I have a wonderful boyfriend who is on his journey to understanding his sexuality, but loves me none the less regardless.

I stopped living in a dark cold closet, and embraced myself, and the love and support that was waiting for me outside of it. The world will always be tough, even when youre just trying to exist. The choice is whether we chose to listen, or be who we are.

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In highschool, senior year, slightly after coming out, I had a conversation with my best friend, the girl I liked at the time. I remember asking her about how she felt, she misunderstood and thought I was asking her about her sexuality and responded, “well, I'm straight? But I don't know, now it seems like everyones a form of gay, so I feel like I should figure myself out more”. The way she phrased it seemed like she was implying Bisexuality was a trend.

This ties everything together, with Performative bisexuality in the media, Bisexuality is often invalidated and considered something “the kids nowadays” do for fun or to “fit in”.

This can be stemmed off of Bi-phobia as it is a way to hate on the Bisexual community. This can often even lead to Bi-erasure/Bi-Invisitibity, which is expressed in different ways, even as when a Bisexual person is in a heterosexual relationship, they're no longer considered bisexual because they are in a straight relationship.

As more and more of Gen-z come out and accept themselves as they are, being gay or bisexual is just seen as something people do to fit in with society as it's something that is “trending”. I remember watching a show and in an episode the quote “She 15, she doesn't know, Its ´cool´ now to be gay”

Performative Bisexuality and Biphobia interlock, and they create all sorts of roadblocks to gatekeep bisexuals from acquiring the queer desire of acceptance. There will always be a phrase, or an excuse to not accept Bisexuality, it depends on us, if we want to be erased.

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So how has society and their perspectives on the Bisexual community affected the community, even within the media, targeting specifically the lives of Actors? Queer baiting is a term that is used when describing characters in films who appear to be gay to appeal to the LGBTQ audience, but are never explicitly confirmed whether they are or not.

Queer baiting, however, is not only in film.

This is where Performative bisexuality falls in place, it IS the Queer baiting in real life. Now a days, we see actors, artist, influencers coming out or hinting towards being bisexual, and time later retract their statements

It has gotten to the point where now, unless actors come out as a sort of LGBTQ member, they are harassed and forced to come out for stealing roles that could go towards LGBTQ actors, or baiting an audience.

Kit Connor, one of the main protagonists in the show “Heart Stopper” also fell victim to harassment and was forced to come out. The series focuses on Charlie and Nick, Charlie is a gay teenager who was bullied for being gay and Nick is the straight boy who isn't straight, this is his journey to figuring out his sexuality. In the series he comes out as Bisexual and dates Charlie.

Fans were never given a confirmation if Kit himself was part of the community and after months of harassment, we recieved the tweet above.

Performative Bisexuality can spring Biphobia, and this is one of the many ways, that that hatred can be displayed

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Biphobia, is known to be a term used "to describe the fear of or aversion to bisexuality, or discrimination against LGBTQ people who identify (or perceived to be) bisexual".

Biphobia can manifest not only outside the community but also within the community. The hatred towards Bisexual individuals can also be shown and expressed in different ways as well.

This can be displayed by:

-Having biphobia present itself when Women engage in Performative Bisexuality.

-Having the fixed mindset that when (or if) men engage in homosexual relationships, they can not be bi, they are automatically labeled Straight.

- Women who are bisexual are also often called offensive terms such as “$lvts” or “wh0re$” (the lists goes on)

-It can even be as simple as not allowing someone to be their true selves, this can be demonstrated with the phrases “You haven't found the right person” or “You're too young to know” or even the most common “You're confused”

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Performative Bisexuality, as explained by Breanne Fahs, is defined as "Primarily engaging in homoerotic acts with other women usually in front of men and most often in the context of social settings". This can be summed down to Same sex relationships simply to appeal to the male gaze.

Performative Bisexuality is typically portrayed by women, as women are considered to have more freedom to explore their sexual attraction. These women will perform in a homosexual manner towards each other, not to pleasure each other, but to catch the attention of the men. Heterosexual Cis men are the targeted audience to these Bisexual performances. The way women will react with one another, no matter the media or social context, is to get a reaction from cis men who may be watching.

Performative Bisexuality is considered to be, as Breanne Fahs continued to write, a guide that “results in women internalizing men's fantasies to feel accepted, loved, and perhaps objectified and sexualized”. Women use the Performative Bisexuality tactic in hopes of attracting and getting a sense of validation from heterosexual cis men by appealing to their desires