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If you're a mother or father reading this, then you'll understand when I say 'once a parent - always a parent'. It's a role that we think we have control of, as gradually we let go of our emerging adults, whilst they strive for independence and autonomy. However, if the adult child is diagnosed with cancer, the goalposts can swiftly change.
Parents and their feelings
There is not a great deal of information around about how it feels for the parent of the young adult with cancer - and even less, if the child is over 40. (Academics term 'young adult', or 'provisional adult', as the period between the ages of 20 -39 years old). Yet, if I were to ask any parent with an adult child with cancer, I'm aware they might say or think some of the following:-

'Is it something I've done?' - Parents often admit to feeling guilty - wondering if it's their fault. Worries expressed might include concerns about things they ate during pregnancy, environmental factors, family history and genetic influences. Realistically, the guilt is misplaced, but can feel very real.

'I'd rather it was me' - Many parents I've spoken to over the years express the heartfelt wish that the cancer had happened to them rather than their child. A cancer diagnosis brings a sense of helplessness and loss of control. Parents see their role as protecting their child, however old, from pain and distress. The parents may feel they need to treat and nurture the adult as a child again, rather than the adult they've become.

'I'm not coping well with the news' - parents may find they feel preoccupied with the cancer news, to the exclusion of everything else going on in their lives. There may be an overwhelming urge to 'fix' the problem - endless internet searches, and questioning. Parents may find they suffer from lack of sleep and concentration, loss of appetite, and feeling anxious and tense.

'I don't know what to do to help' - now their children are adults, the lines are blurred between helping and hindering. As parents, the urge to step in and take over may be tempered with the recognition that their child is a grown up and is independent now. There may also be the adult child's spouses, partners and/or grandchildren to consider.

'I feel so angry/scared' - intense emotions can feel disabling at a time when the parent feels they should be 'strong' for their child. The intense sense of rage, if it happens, can feel unexpected and draining. It's natural to feel a range of emotions, and at times, feel overwhelmed by them. Anger and fear can sometimes feel closely related - perhaps triggered by the sense that things feel out of control.

How to help
The main thing to remember is that there are things you can do to help. As a parent, you have a unique knowledge of what makes your adult child 'tick', although none of you may have faced a life changing event like cancer before.

Establish good and open communication early on - talk about what is happening. Work out with your son/daughter what you can offer in forms of help. Acknowledge their feelings and your own. However, it may also be a time for portraying less panic than you may be feeling, as that may influence how your children cope too.

Information gathering - it can be tempting to google everything, and research other treatments etc. Knowledge is power, and knowing about the cancer and treatments can give a sense of control, but not everything on the internet is factual or accurate. (See our blog on 'Finding accurate cancer information'). There may need to be sensitivity too. Your adult child may feel pressured if you overwhelm them with everything you've researched.

Whilst they are your 'child' - they are people with their own views and approaches to life. In many families, your child, (however old), may naturally turn to you for support at this uncertain time. However, some children try to protect their parents, and you may feel side lined a little. Emotions may be fraught at times, and being calm in the midst of other's distress can be helpful.

Recognise that your role may be big or small in getting your child through their cancer and its treatment. Family relationships differ. You may have other children who will need support, or they may be the ones providing key support for their sibling.

Value and respect the other important people in your child's life. They may have a partner, children, and friends who want to help too. Work together to form a plan/schedule to help support the whole family. Create a list of resources and help you can all tap into, to help the treatment months go as smoothly as possible. People often find an app, such as 'Jointly app' (Carers UK) helpful, to keep everyone informed and organise rota's etc. Acknowledge that it may not be you who is doing most of the organising.

Offer concrete suggestions of help, rather a vague offer. It may be running them to hospital, attending appointments, looking after grandchildren, liaising with work/college/university, cooking a meal, etc.

Financial worries? The subject of money can be sensitive. However your child may be worried about work, bills to pay, and the financial implications of having cancer. They may accept your help and advice, but be prepared that they want to sort this on their own. Guide them to seeking advice and support from an appropriate source - Maggie's Centres have benefits advisors available to talk things through with Find your nearest Maggie's centre

If possible, help everyone work towards keeping a feeling of normality about things. Living with cancer may bring new routines, but your adult child will appreciate being identified as the person they are, rather than the cancer they have. They are still the person they always were - warts and all.

Looking after yourself
There's no doubt that your adult child's cancer diagnosis is likely to tip your world upside down - particularly in the beginning. There may be other key stages that trigger additional emotional stress and upheaval. If your son or daughter has a cancer recurrence, or has a cancer which cannot be cured - then the goalposts change again. Whilst the bigger picture may be daunting, focusing on the 'here and now', can feel more manageable to start with.

Recognise that you can't do everything for your adult child - and, in fact, they may not want you to. Take time out from the situation, when you can. Your spouse or partner, and the rest of the family may want and need quality time with you too. Have breaks, where you treat yourself - even if it is for a few hours, a day or longer.

You may be putting on a brave face for your family, and particularly for the adult child with cancer. The stress of 'holding it all together' can feel overwhelming at times. Your own emotional and physical health may be affected, and compromise your ability to help out when you can. Releasing the inner turmoil, and talking through how you're feeling, can ease the tensions.

Don't ignore physical or emotional symptoms - see your own GP if you're feeling unwell, or are having health problems. Research shows that families, mothers in particular, put their adult child's care needs above their own - and this can cause future ill health issues

You can find support through local cancer support groups, carer's organisations and online forums. Maggie's Centres offer practical, social and emotional support for you and your family. It gives the chance to be among people who understand how things are for you. You can ask about our support for family and friends at Maggie's . Contact your nearest Maggie's centre

Warm wishes

Sue
Useful links
Supporting someone else with cancer Maggie's

Challenges and Role Changes in Caring for Adult Children With Cancer Laura Bourdeanu, NP, PhD, and Patricia Cannistraci, DSN, RN, CNE JADPRO

The ambiguous challenge of being a mother to an adult son with cancer Oncogambit

Caring for an Adult Child With Cancer Support Group (online) Cancer Care

How I supported my daughter through breast cancer Breast Cancer Now

Using the FOCUS model to work with caretakers of adult children with cancer Counseling Today April 2014

In the Shadows: How to Help Your Seriously Ill Adult Child (Paperback - March 1, 2013), by Patricia Ringos Beach (Author), Beth E. White (Author)

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When your adult child has cancer | Maggie's

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Consoles, games + accessories : Get Well Gamers – Donate games and consoles

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Your donated games and consoles help us bring joy to thousands of children and young people in hospitals across the country.

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Advice, tips and tools to help you make the best choices about your health and wellbeing.

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Providing help and advice about violence against women, domestic abuse and sexual violence

Talk to us now

If you, a family member a friend, or someone you are concerned about has experienced domestic abuse or sexual violence, you can contact the Live Fear Free Helpline 24 hours a day 7 days a week, for free advice and support or to talk through your options.

Get in touch with Live Fear Free advisors free of charge by phone, online chat, text or email.

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Providing help and advice about violence against women, domestic abuse and sexual violence.

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Safeguarding adults: reporting suspected abuse, neglect or harm

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What to do if you suspect someone is at risk of harm, abuse or neglect.

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Content warning: This section includes graphic sexual descriptions.

A nude image must include one of the following to be removed:

nude or semi-nude sexual posing

someone nude or semi-nude touching themselves in a sexual way

any sexual activity involving a child

someone hurting someone else sexually

sexual activity that includes animals.

Where possible, it is better if you can upload the original image or video, or a copy of it, rather than a photograph of it on another screen. This helps IWF find the image more accurately.

If you want to report something that isn't a nude image or video to see if it can be taken down, you can see more information from Childline about deleting things shared online here. You can make a report to CEOP, the part of the police who are there to support children and young people online. You can always speak to a Childline counsellor.

Confirming your age with ID gives us more legal powers to remove images from as many places as possible. If you don't have ID or feel comfortable using it, we can still take down images, but from fewer places.

You can use the following ID to confirm your identity using Yoti:

passport or biometric residence permit

driving licence and provisional licence

Young Scot Card (Yoti app only)

CitizenCard (Yoti app only).

If you don't have any of these, you can get a young person's ID card. You'll be able to get this for £5 with the promo code NSPCC5. Make sure you choose 'Yoti CitizenCard' on the first page.

Whatever ID you use, please make sure that it is valid and in-date.

IWF will read all reports within one working day, from Monday to Friday. The time it takes to get your image removed from the internet can be different depending on where the image is hosted.

If the image is on a UK-based website it can often be removed within 2-3 hours. Unfortunately, in some countries it can take longer - sometimes days or weeks. But IWF analysts will always try to make sure it happens as soon as possible.

We'll do our best to let you know once your image has been removed by sending a message to your  Childline locker.

We recommend you check your locker every few days after you make a report. This is so you can see if your image has been removed, and so Childline can let you know if IWF need more information to be able to remove it. Remember, IWF can't contact you directly.

If you need support to help you cope while you're waiting, you can also speak to a Childline counsellor any time.

When you use Report Remove, your image or video is shared with the Internet Watch Foundation (IWF). They'll work to get your image removed from the internet. See 'Who are the IWF?' to learn about how that happens.

Most of the time, nobody will know that you've made a report and your report won't be shared with anyone else.

If the police already have the image or video you report, then they might investigate what's happened. Only the police can decide if they'll need to tell someone else.

The police might already have your image or video if:

someone has reported it on another website and that website passed it to the police

they're investigating someone who had or has the image or video already (if someone is found to have your image and is breaking the law - regardless of how, it may be included as evidence in a criminal case against that person

someone else reported the image to them directly.

Remember that the police are there to protect you, not to get you into trouble. If the image has been reported somewhere else and you're worried, you can always  speak to a Childline counsellor.

If you have parental controls on your phone your parent or carer might see when you want to download a new app, so they might get a notification if you try to download Yoti and want to know why. To avoid this, use the second option to prove your age (called 'ID verification').

The IWF can remove images that are public or available to anyone on the internet. However, they won't be able to remove images or videos on encrypted networks like WhatsApp, or which are saved on a person's phone or computer.

If you're over 13 and you've made a report without using ID, then there may be some sites the IWF can't take images down from.

If you don't use ID the IWF can help by removing your image or video from most sites. If you do use ID, the IWF can remove from all sites

The Internet Watch Foundation (IWF), a UK charity, are there to help remove illegal nude images of under 18s posted online.

Once the IWF has confirmed your nude image is against the law and can be removed from the internet they give it a digital fingerprint called a 'hash'. The hash can be used to find your image online even if it has been cropped or slightly changed.

Sharing just the hash with certain trusted companies and organisations, means that technology can be used to find online matches of the image - this is key to trying to stop it appearing in different places on the internet. Even though the hashes and images are shared with UK police, this is so that if they came across the image some other way, they'd know that you also reported it yourself. Report Remove was developed with the full support of the police and no one involved wants to get you into trouble for sharing the image so it can be removed.

Different companies use the hash in different ways. For example, if an illegal image match is found to have been shared by an online account holder, a company may decide to close that person's account as posting illegal images will be against the company's terms and conditions. If your image(s) are found on or are linked to your online user account(s) it may be possible for the company to associate your profile with the images.

The companies that take the hashes trust the Report Remove process, however if they have significant concerns that the person in the image may not be the person who was age verified, they may get in touch with the IWF to raise their concerns.

There are 3 organisations that help you report your image using Report Remove. These are Childline, the Internet Watch Foundation (IWF) and also Yoti if you are 13 or older and choose to prove your age using ID. All of them have a responsibility to keep all of your personal information safe.

1. We'll ask you to choose your age range (under 13, 13-15, 16-17, 18 and over). If you're under 13, you'll go straight to step 3. If you're aged 13 or older, us at Childline will ask you if you have access to ID to prove your age. If you do, you'll be asked to visit Yoti. The only information we will share with Yoti is that you are wanting to prove your age to use Report Remove.

2. Once you prove your age using Yoti, you will come back to Report Remove on Childline. The only information Yoti will share with Childline is confirmation that you're younger or older than 18.

3. We'll then ask you to create or sign in to a Childline account. Then you'll go to the IWF website to share the content you want removed. Childline will only share the information below with IWF:

that you're younger than 18 (either confirmed by Yoti, or that you told us you are younger than 18),

the age range you selected at the start,

a unique number that is created when you use Report Remove.

4. After your report has been passed to the IWF, they will tell Childline if they were able to work to take the images or video down from the internet, and why. This is so Childline can let you know what happened. IWF may also tell Childline some information about what you reported, to help them know how best to support you and keep you safe. IWF will never share an image or video that you report with Childline.

Information you give to Childline
Any information you give Childline will always be treated carefully and in line with our  Privacy Policy. This means that any information you give us as part of Report Remove will only be used to help the IWF review your report and to keep you safe. This will include the age range that you select and a unique number that's created when you go onto the IWF website. We will not share any of your information with Yoti.
Information you give to IWF
The only information you will give to the IWF are the images, videos or URLs you report. There is space to add information such as where the image or video is on a webpage.

They will process this in line with their privacy policy.

Nude images and videos that IWF decide are illegal may be kept by the IWF for up to 2 years. This is because there is an agreement with the Police and CPS (Crime Prosecution Service), called a 'Memorandum of Understanding' (MOU). Illegal images are given a hash (a string of numbers that are like a digital fingerprint). The hash is shared with organisations such as technology companies who host online content, so that they can look for the image and take it down. The actual image is not shared with these companies. The image and the hash are shared with the police who store it on their Child Abuse Image Database. Any images or videos that they decide are not illegal may be kept for a maximum of 6 months for quality checking and any follow up questions. They will then be deleted. Sometimes, even if it's decided that the content isn't illegal, IWF can share the content URL with some industry members to see if they can take the content down.

If you report a URL (link to a webpage), and choose not to prove your age using ID, IWF will still check to see if the content is something they can take action on. If so IWF may share the URL with South West Grid for Learning (SWGfL), who are a charity who help people who have had intimate images of them shared online. SWGfL will never view the content on a URL that is shared with them. SWGfL send a notice to internet companies that host the webpage you reported, to tell them to take it down. This is because IWF can only send a notice to companies to take a specific webpage down when it is confirmed it is of a child. SWGfL can also send notice to take down content, but they do not need to prove it is of a child. This helps get your images or videos from even more places.

Childline will never see what pictures, videos or URLs you share with the IWF. The only information the IWF shares with Childline apart from your case number is whether or not they could take down your images or videos, and why, so we can let you know, as well as information about the image or video that you reported that will help Childline to support you and keep you safe.

Information you give to Yoti
You can choose to use Yoti to confirm your age if you're over 13. This may involve taking a selfie, so Yoti know it is you who are proving your age, and uploading a picture of some ID. Any personal data you send Yoti - like your photo, date of birth or address - is scrambled with a high level of encryption so that even if it was stolen, no one could use it to identify you. The only information Yoti shares with Childline is confirmation that you're under or over 18.

You can see Yoti's privacy policy here, and more information about their age portal here, which is what is used in Report Remove to prove your age.

If you're using the Yoti app, Yoti may use the selfie, month and year of birth you add to the Yoti app to improve its age estimation technology. You can opt out from this in the More> My Data> Biometric consent menu of the app.

There are lots of ways to get help with your report:

if you're having problems with Yoti, you can contact them directly in the app.

if you need any support with making your report send a message to Childline with the title 'Report Remove'.

Childline counsellors are always here for you and want to help. And you can  talk to them  about anything you're going through.
I have a technical issue, what should I do?

Try using your default browser and close private browsing if you're using the Yoti app.

See if you can log in to your locker and send an email to Childline explaining your problem and the team will be able to help.

Make sure the ID you're using is valid and in-date (not expired).

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Use Report Remove to remove a nude image shared online

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Childhood Trauma and the Brain | UK Trauma Council

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The Lucy Faithfull Foundation | Preventing Child Sex Abuse

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We are the only UK-wide charity dedicated solely to preventing child sexual abuse. Find out more.

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ACC Becky Riggs- National Police Chiefs’ Lead, Child Protection and Abuse Investigation

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The Hydrant Programme is a national policing programme supporting the work of the National Police Chiefs’ Council (NPCC) Child Protection and Abuse Investigation Working Group.

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- User FeedbackCancer Work Support Service

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Cancer Work Support Service - Working To Wellbeing

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Our cancer work support service, provides specialised health coaching to those with cancer to help them remain in, or return to, work.

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CCLG - The Children & Young People's Cancer Association

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This TYA best practice statement discusses some of the key issues relating to transition and outlines principles for best practice that can be adapted to individual services and transition in all settings. These principles are set out against an assumption that all young people within the TYA age range will be discussed at a designated cancer MDT for both their age range and cancer type.

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Apply for a grant – Hospital Saturday Fund

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Useful organisations and resources for parents and carers whose child has died of cancer, as well as bereaved siblings and other loved ones.

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Grief Encounter provides best practice bereavement support training to your school, college, business and organisation, as well as CPD accredited courses for professionals.

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Education and Training | Healthcare professionals

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We offer online courses, conferences and webinars to give health and social care professionals the training they need to support people living with cancer.

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Spotlight study day sessions offers bereavement training on specialist topics for professionals supporting bereaved children & young people.

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Bereavement training for practitioners working with families

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Learn ways to communicate with and support bereaved children and young people who have complex learning needs and disabilities.

Increase your understanding and build confidence in communicating sensitively with parents. Supporting the HTA codes of practice, around consent, donation and post-mortem.
Loss, death and grief - empowering school staff to have honest conversations
This 90-minute webinar identifies opportunities for schools, nurseries and other education settings to have more open discussions about death and grief with their pupils. As well as helping to prepare staff, pupils, parents and carers, the content includes answering difficult questions and the use of resources to initiate open conversations about death with pupils of all ages.

Supporting bereaved students in further/higher education settings

A one-hour webinar for professionals supporting bereaved students or managing a bereavement within a college, university or higher education institute.

Bereavement by suicide - support for schools

Bereavement by suicide can add extra complications to the grieving process. Underpinned by both theory and the experiences of families and young people, we help you to understand how as education professionals you can support those bereaved by suicide.

Supporting bereaved children in early years settings

Develop knowledge of practical strategies and gain greater confidence in supporting bereaved babies and young children, particularly in an early years setting.

The challenges of supporting parents through the neonatal experience

Explore issues encountered by those whose work brings them into contact with families faced with an uncertain future for their new born.

When a twin dies - supporting parents and families

Explore the impact that the death of a twin (or multiple) can have on a family, drawing on current research and learning from the neonatal butterfly project. This workshop will increase and embed the knowledge and understanding of professionals, to ensure a high quality of care and support for parents in the future.

Considering the impact on healthcare professionals when a child dies

When your work brings you into contact with child death, it is impossible not to be affected. As a professional, it may often feel difficult to hold professional boundaries in place. This workshop provides an opportunity to reflect on the impact this work has on you.

Bereavement support training for doctors

Maintaining wellbeing in working with loss, death and grief. For doctors and trainees whose roles involve exposure to issues of grief and bereavement.

Supervising bereavement work

Develop a greater understanding of the skills needed to supervise practitioners working with bereaved families. The workshop will consider the challenges that supervision can present and provide an opportunity to reflect on experiences.

Bereavement by suicide - supporting children, young people and families

Deepen your understanding of the effects of bereavement by suicide on families and increase your confidence when communicating with bereaved children and families.
Being confident when talking about loss, death and grief
Learn more about grief and how to feel more confident when talking to others about death and grief in a supportive, safe environment.

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charity bereavement child death grief loss baby stillbirth miscarriage suicide young people

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Child Bereavement UK designs and delivers training for professionals in health and social care, education, the emergency services and the voluntary and corporate sectors, equipping them to provide the best possible care to bereaved families.

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Nerve Tumours UK | Home | Nerve Tumours UK

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Nerve Tumours UK is the national charity providing support to people with conditions that cause nerve tumours, such as neurofibromatosis, Schwannomatosis and legius syndrome

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Our impact

raised so far by our amazing supporters and invested in research and patient support

new patients and their family members joined our community in the last year

members of our supporter community providing a peer-to-peer lifeline for everyone affected

Make a donation - help us find a cure

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raised so far by our amazing supporters and invested in research and patient support new patients and their family members joined our community in the last year members of our supporter community providing a peer-to-peer lifeline for everyone affected Make a donation - help us find a cure

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A guide to pronouns and gender inclusive language

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Apply for a magical wish

Wishes are as unique as the children themselves and whether a child wants to be a fireman, meet a real-life mermaid or even the Loch Ness Monster, we work hard to make that wish come true. Click here to apply for a magical wish.

Apply for a wish

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Wishes are as unique as the children themselves and whether a child wants to be a fireman, meet a real-life mermaid or even the Loch Ness Monster, we work hard to make that wish come true. Click here to apply for a magical wish. Apply for a wish

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When You Wish Upon A Star Children’s Charity

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When You Wish Upon a Star has a simple mission, to grant the Wishes of children living with a life threatening illness.

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Jacob Crane Foundation - Jacob’s Story and how we can help

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Our mission is to increase understanding and and awareness of childhood cancers, helping children and young adults up to age 25, along with their families.

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Aimee - Youth Support Co-ordinator West Wales

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Aimee - Youth Support Co-ordinator West Wales

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SilverCloud

Mental and behavioural health is core to total health. SilverCloud provides accessible, scalable, digital behavioural healthcare, and delivers measurable results for customer organizations as well as the individuals who use the programmes.

Self-help Support

SilverCloud is a free online therapy treatment promoted by the NHS in Wales that uses proven methods like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) to help people aged over 16 manage a range of mild to moderate mental health conditions. The different programmes available cover depression, generalised anxiety, social anxiety and health anxiety, as well as OCD, panic, and phobias.

- For more information

- SilverCloud Programmes

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SilverCloud Mental and behavioural health is core to total health. SilverCloud provides accessible, scalable, digital behavioural healthcare, and delivers measurable results for customer organizations as well as the individuals who use the programmes.

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GTBAL is a non-for-profit organisation that provides the people of West Wales with a free, award winning, mental health support service funded by coffee, clothing and community. Since we opened our doors in 2019, our drop-in service has proved over 360 people with free and easy support, free of waiting lists.

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GTBAL is a non-for-profit organisation that provides the people of West Wales with a free, award winning, mental health support service funded by coffee, clothing and community. Since we opened our doors in 2019, our drop-in service has proved over 360 people with free and easy support, free of waiting lists.

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Young carers are children and young people under 18 whose lives are affected in some way by caring for another person. Young carers support (or help to support) someone who would not be able to stay at home without their help.

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Our Services | Sandville Self Help Foundation

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Designed by SR Creative for Sandville Self Help Centre - All content belongs to Sandville Self Help Centre 2024 ©

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Ceredigion - for end of life patients 18+ years old

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Ceredigion - for end of life patients 18+ years old

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Severn Hospice gives specialist care and support free of charge to families across Shropshire and North Powys who are living with an incurable illness.

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Free Wellbeing Support Service for

our Health/Care Workers

If you have had any thoughts ofself-harm and suicide

We are being supported by SurveyHero.com for the creation of our online surveys.

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If you have had any thoughts ofself-harm and suicide We are being supported by SurveyHero.com for the creation of our online surveys.

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Chat with someone who gets it. Call 0808 801 0455 Monday - Friday 7pm - 11pm.

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Applying for counselling
*We have seen a steep rise in demand for this service. While we work through those who have already applied and been approved, we are unable to accept new applications for our counselling at present. Please keep an eye on this page for updates.*
There is no charge and we provide a fast, discreet and accessible service. Just complete the application form to apply. Please note, we do not finance/fund clinical supervision sessions for existing counsellors or those undertaking counselling training.

Once you have submitted your application, you will receive a confirmation email from our team. We will then let you know if we require any further information or evidence to proceed. Following this, a member of our team will be in touch to notify you of the outcome of your application. Email support@healthcareworkersfoundation.org for more information or help with your application.

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The Healthcare Workers' Foundation provides help to healthcare workers and their families to support the care they give to the community.

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Charity in Pembrokeshire - Paul Sartori Hospice at Home

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Pembrokeshire's ONLY Hospice at Home Charity. Paul Sartori Hospice at Home provides sustainable services that promote good end-of-life care.

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Gift Aid does not cost you a penny more, but can add an additional 25p to every £1 you donate. When Mind Over Cancer receives a donation from a UK taxpayer, we're entitled to claim an amount of tax (calculated at the basic rate of income tax in that year) paid on that donation. Once you have given your permission for us to do this on your behalf, there is no need for you to do anything else.

All that is required is that you must be a taxpayer and that would have paid or will pay sufficient Income and/or Capital Gains Tax to cover all the Gift Aid claimed on all your donations in that tax year. Please note that it is your responsibility to pay any difference.

The amount of tax we claim will be 25% of the total value of your donations in that tax year. Furthermore, if you are a higher taxpayer, you are also entitled to claim the difference between the basic rate which we will claim and the amount of tax you have actually paid. For further details on how you can do this, please contact your tax office. If your tax situation changes and your gifts will no longer be eligible for the Gift Aid scheme please contact us and we will amend your record accordingly.

Take me to my donation "

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Mind Over Cancer - We're here when you are ready to talk

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Gift Aid does not cost you a penny more, but can add an additional 25p to every £1 you donate. When Mind Over Cancer receives a donation from a UK taxpayer, we're entitled to claim an amount of tax (calculated at the basic rate of income tax in that year) paid on that donation.

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If your parent has cancer your life may be very different from what it used to be. Many feel alone and don´t know who to turn to for support. We hope that this section can help you with what you´re going through.

You may feel lonely but you're not alone! In addition to the stories on riprap, the forum can help you make contact with other young people going through similar experiences. You may also find support from reading the ' Advice' column where we share some of the queries from other teenagers and our replies to them. You may want to get in touch with your own query or perhaps you just want to talk things through with us in private...? Further, you'll find some information under 'Living with cancer' regarding talking about cancer and how cancer may affect you and your family. The experience you have been through is likely to affect you even after treatment has ended and your parent has recovered from cancer. We talk a bit about this in 'Moving on'. We have also included a separate section for those of you whose parent has sadly died from cancer.

Recently, we have added a section called 'Voices of support' where we incorporate video and audio files and then there is the Creative Corner where you can express your thoughts and feelings in a creative way.

We hope that the riprap site can help you in many ways but you may need face-to-face or other local support to help you deal with it all. Have a look at services listed in the section ' Support in my area'. There is also a section with links to UK national and some international organisations that may be relevant for you to have a look at.

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Providing spiritual care | Information for healthcare professionals

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Spiritual care is an important part of palliative care. Having a terminal illness often leads people to think about their lives in new ways and their spiritual needs may change.

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Explaining the death of a sibling to children can be very daunting for parents who are also dealing with their own grief at the loss of their child. It is common to feel unsure about what to say and how much to tell children and to want to protect them, especially when children are very young and may struggle to understand the concept of death.

We communicate with children about how we are feeling, even when we don't intend to, by our body language and moods and behaviour. So, it is important for your children to be told about the death of their sibling as soon as possible, ideally by someone they are close to. Children have a greater capacity to understand than adults often expect and are more disturbed by vague explanations or feeling that information is being withheld. Individual children have their own personalities and will react differently just as adults do.

Some children may cry, others may carry on as if nothing has happened, but all will be affected at some level. If they are given an explanation as to what has happened, they can start to begin to make sense of it. Children, even at a very young age pick up on that something has happened and notice distress. When not given an explanation, they may feel anxious and insecure and alone in their worries.

It is best to begin with a simple explanation and then allow children to ask questions when they are ready. Ensure they know they can speak to you when they need to and provide opportunities for this. It is ok not to have all the answers, what is important is to listen to them so that they feel they are supported and included. They may need to repeat the same questions over and over as part of understanding what has happened. It is best to answer in a straightforward way, using simple, age appropriate language.

It is ok to cry in front of your child as this models healthy expression of emotion. Children will not be frightened by your tears if they know why you cry. It gives them permission to do the same.

Things to avoid saying

We have a natural urge to want to protect children from hurtful things and this can lead us to saying things that children may actually find confusing or worrying instead of using the real words.

"Gone to sleep" This can give children the fear that they too may not wake up, and they may be afraid to go to sleep, resulting in anxieties at bedtime.

"We have lost your sister/ brother" This can leave a child searching in the hopes of finding them again, like looking for a lost toy or to fear that they too may be lost.

"The doctor has taken him/her away" This can leave children fearful of visiting a doctor again and may cause the child to fear being abandoned.

Religion

If your family has a religious belief you may have your own way of explaining about what you believe happens after death. You may like to seek guidance from your community religious leader about supporting your children.

Suggesting that a child has 'gone to heaven' or 'to live with God' may be confusing for a young child, unless your family share a religious faith, which you all find comforting.

A possible explanation of a SIDS death

Keep the explanation a simple as possible and use the real words like 'dead' and 'died'. It is good to agree with other adults in the family beforehand what you will say so that the explanation is consistent.

Young children will need some explanation of what being dead means:

' When someone dies their body has stopped working; they don't breathe and their heart stops beating. We are very sad because we are going to miss him very much '

You can offer reassurance too:

' It is very, very unusual for this to happen but sadly it sometimes does.'

Some children especially older ones may ask more questions. It is alright to say "I don't know", if that is true.

Think about support for yourself when telling your child; either from a family member or friend or from The Lullaby Trust or other helplines.

Responses to grief

There is a difference in how adults and children express grief; a child may jump in and out of grief and to an adult they may seem uncaring. For an adult it is more like being deep in a river, swept along with the current, finding it very difficult to get out.

There is some overlap between these stages and variation between children.

If your child's reactions worry or puzzle you, do consider talking things over with a Helpline Adviser at The Lullaby Trust or having a chat with your GP, health visitor or child's teacher.

Age 0 to 3 years

They will pick up on mood changes of their caregiver, even if very young

They will often express feeling through their behaviour and may be different in their sleeping and feeding habits and be more 'clingy'

Older toddlers may be demanding of more attention

Age 3 to 6 years

Age 6 to 9 years

Age 9 to 12

There is more understanding that death is permanent

They may appear outwardly unaffected by the death or show feelings of grief, anger, guilt

Feelings may be 'acted out' or take the form of physical symptoms

They may blame themselves or see the death as punishment for something they have done wrong

They may worry about their parents or their own mortality

Friends may be more curious about what has happened

They may become more specific in their questions

Teenagers

What can help children

What helps younger children is very much the foundation for older children too. Children learn how to grieve by copying the responses of the adults around them and rely on adults to provide them with what they need to support them in their grief.

Each child will have their own way of working through their grief and should be encouraged to express their individual feelings.

Children, like adults, can suffer a wide range of emotions, including sorrow, anger, disbelief, and even guilt.

Age 0 to 3 years

Maintain routines and familiarity as much as possible

Provide love and reassurance

Consider care giving from another familiar figure if the parents feel too distraught to respond

Let other caregivers; for example nursery, child minders, know so they can be extra understanding of any differences in your child

Age 3 to 6 years

All of the points in 0-3 years

They may need reassurance that the dead can't feel anything and don't feel pain

Answer questions when the child asks avoiding using confusing terms (see things to avoid saying) and using clear terms

Allow expression of feelings through play, reading books, drawing

Tell teachers, family members and friends what explanation your child has been given so they can support you in this and not give your child confusing messages

Accept that they may move on quickly from talking about the death or their sibling and go back to play

The thoughts of children this age are very centred on themselves so they may need reassurance that nothing they did caused the death

Age 6 to 9 years

All of the points in 0-3 plus notifying Primary School about what has happened

Give extra reassurance about separations, where you will be etc

Listen and help them express thoughts and feelings

Reassure that the death was not their fault

Give them time to ask questions

Age 9 to 12

All the points in 0-3 plus notifying teachers

Teenagers

Maintain usual rules and boundaries

Allow space for them to speak with you when they are ready and listen without judging or criticising

Model appropriate expression of your own feelings and acknowledge that people express their grief in different ways

Reassure and acknowledge that it is normal to question things like the meaning of life as a teenager and that having to confront mortality at a young age is challenging

Let them have time alone and to grieve in their own way

Accept they may find it easier to speak to someone outside the family and help them to identify who that could be

Keep channels of communication open with School so that problems can be picked up quickly

Reassure that it is still okay to have fun and laugh

Should my child go to the funeral?

It is helpful to explain to a child what a funeral is and why we have them. Rituals are a comforting part of life and can help build memories of the baby who has died and also help children understand the finality of death.

Try to include siblings in the events and ceremonies which follow the death, as excluding them is likely to leave them feeling anxious, bewildered and alone. Allowing them to see their sibling if they wish and say goodbye is usually helpful. If they don't want to view the body or go to the funeral, they could make a card or drawing to go in the coffin or choose a poem to be read or a song to be played or pick some flowers. They could choose to attend the gathering afterwards instead of attending the funeral.

If they do want to go, it can be helpful to show them in advance where the funeral will take place so they have an idea of what to expect.

It can help to have a backup plan of someone to care for the child if they change their mind about going to the funeral.

Even a baby or very young child can attend a funeral and may appreciate the knowledge they were present when they are older.

Remembering

Having a sense of a continued link with the person who dies is an important part of coping with grief. It is good to give children opportunities to remember their sibling especially on anniversaries and special times. It can be good to make a plan in advance about how special dates will be handled and marked.

Share memories of their brother or sister by looking at photographs and remembering events. A Lullaby Trust online memorial can be personalised with photos and videos

You might like to put together a memory book or box. Children may like to contribute a drawing or write something to go in the box

They might like to keep something that belonged to the baby like an item of clothing or a toy

Some families like to light a candle on the anniversary of a baby's birthday or make a cake.

Attending Lullaby Trust Family Days can be a way of remembering your child who died and helping children connect with other families and children who have experienced a similar bereavement:

Some families like to get involved in charity events as a way of honouring their child who died click here for ways to get involved with The Lullaby Trust

Life as a bereaved sibling

Grief may need to be revisited at different points in your other children's lives; this is normal. At special family events you may all wonder what it would have been like had your child and their sibling lived and could be there too.

It can help to tell teachers at school, each new school year, about their deceased sibling so when topics such as 'My family' are covered so that the teacher knows and acts appropriately.

An adult bereaved as a child may wish their sibling was around as an adult, perhaps to be an aunt or uncle to their children.

Subsequent children born after the child died may have particular needs. They may have a sense of loss even though they didn't meet their sibling. It can be good to talk about the deceased sibling from the beginning so that they grow up knowing the family story. They may need reassurance that while you miss their sibling you are very glad to have them. They may need some help to not idealise the dead sibling, that their missing sibling would still have been squabbles with them, good times and bad times.

There may be particular concerns when a bereaved sibling grows up and has their own children. You may like to see the support available in this situation:
Emma, a bereaved sibling, talks about her experience: Being only 5 when my sister died, my parents decided that my brother and I wouldn't attend the funeral, we didn't get the chance to say goodbye. If I am honest I'm not sure that I have ever really gotten over this fact. My sister's funeral was a week after her passing, my brother and I were sent to school as a normal day. Annually, on my sister's birthday our parents took us to the crematorium to see our sisters memorial stone and see her name in the book of remembrance. We have always talked about our sister and we have photographs up of her around the house. Both of my children know about their Auntie who died. When I found out I was pregnant I felt nervous that history would repeat itself. When I mentioned this to the midwife, she was not the friendliest with her reply and subsequent support! It was particularly important for me to find out what gender my child would be, partly to foreworn my parents - my dad especially, as even now he struggles with babies - even just on the TV. We paid for a private gender scan to ensure that we could find out the gender, as the NHS scans are not always possible for it to be determined and the purpose of those scans are to check on the progress of the baby's growth. When we did find out that the baby was a girl, I did feel that it would affect my relationship and my ability to bond during the pregnancy in case the same thing happened. I spoke with the support team at The Lullaby Trust and I was given the CONI scheme details - however I chose not to become part of the scheme. When my older brother and his partner were expecting they did become part of the scheme. When I fell pregnant the second time, again, we found out the gender - this time we would be expecting a boy, I found it easier to bond with the baby during the pregnancy. Both of my kids have been brought up knowing about their other aunt who died, we also attend family days for them to understand the work that the Lullaby Trust undertakes and how there are other families like us out there. It also helps them to realise that talking about things is good.
Multiple birth sibling survivors

It is natural for survivors of multiple births whose sibling has died to feel a keen sense of someone missing from their life or to wonder what it would have been like to grow up with a twin or multiple. It is thought to be helpful for them to know from very early on about their circumstances.

Helpful Books

A workbook for parents to go through with young children to help make sense of their experience (for early years).Muddles, Puddles and Sunshine: Your Activity Book to Help When Someone Has Died - Diana Crossley
ISBN 978-1869890582

Where are you Lydie? - Emma Poore
Written for 3-7 year olds to help them cope with the loss of a sibling.
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1916233300

Always My Twin
For young children who have experienced the death of their twin sibling. This is a book for any child whose twin died before birth, after birth or as a young child.
ISBN 978-1412060363

Death: I Miss You (A First Look At)
A book about death generally; children's feelings and questions about this sensitive subject are looked at in a simple but realistic way. This book helps them to understand their loss and come to terms with it.
ISBN 978-0750260824

Rory's Star
A resource produced for the Scottish Cot Death Trust to help young children come to terms with the loss of their brother or sister through SIDS.

Andrew's Rainbow
A resource produced for the Scottish Cot Death Trust written for children born into a family after the death of a sibling through SIDS.

S tewart's Tree
A colourful picture book offers a comforting story for grieving families, helping to explain sibling loss shortly after birth (Age 3+).
ISBN: 9781785923999

Flying Hugs and Kisses
It is about five children who creatively take on roles of support toward each other while showing their individual feelings about the death of their baby brother. Specifically mentions SIDS (Age 4-8 years).
ISBN 978-1581071832

Missing Hannah: Based on a True Story of Sudden Infant Death
A story about a little girl who tells about her baby sister who died suddenly one night (Age 4-8 years).
ISBN 978-1425901363

Stacy Had a Little Sister
Deal with a child's worry that they caused their sibling's death (Age 3-8 years).
ISBN 978-0807575987

Grieving for the Sibling You Lost: A Teen's Guide to Coping with Grief and Finding Meaning After Loss
By a psychotherapist, exploring coping styles, dealing with overwhelming emotions, and finding constructive ways to manage loss (For teenagers upwards).
ISBN 978-1626252493

Michael Rosen's Sad Book
Illustrated text about how it feels to be very sad. Written after the sudden death of Michael Rosen's 19 year old son (from about age 10 to adult).
ISBN 978-1406317848
CBUK also has more suggestions about books for general bereavement.
Links
You may like to contact other charities for further information and support about this topic. There may also be local organisations who can help. The Support Team at the Lullaby Trust can help to put you in touch.
Winston's Wish, a charity which therapeutic support to offers bereaved children and young people by phone, email and face to face plus online resources Helpline 08088 020 021

The Child Bereavement UK website has further detailed information and support around talking to children. Helpline 0800 02 888 40.

The Twins Trust Bereavement Support Group exists to support all parents and carers of multiples who have experienced loss whether it was during pregnancy, at birth or at any point afterwards.

Bodie Hodges Foundation free grief resources to help children grieve for their brother or sister and to understand how they are feeling. They support families to remember and grieve together.

Grief Encounter Free support for bereaved children and their families

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Supporting brothers and sisters - The Lullaby Trust

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Explaining the death of a sibling to children can be very daunting for parents who are also dealing with their own grief at the loss of their child. It is common to feel unsure about what to say and how much to tell children and to want to protect them, especially when children are very [...]

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Harvey Hext Trust – Bespoke memory boxes for children who have lost a sibling

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From Charlotte's Web to the present day, a look at how children's literature tackles loss and grief. What can we learn from children themselves?

In Charlotte's Web, Wilbur the pig has to accept his best friend Charlotte is dying.

"I'm done for," she replied. "In a day or two I'll be dead. I haven't even the strength enough to climb down into the crate."

E B White's classic was published in 1952. Inspired by personal events, Mel Harris sets out to find out about some of the books available to children who are facing death and bereavement. Where are the contemporary alternatives to Charlotte's Web? What solace and support might children find in literature today? Can sad books also be funny? She talks to writers and storytellers, including our new Children's Laureate Joseph Coelho. And she talks to children too.

Contributors: Sue Hollingsworth, Myra Bluebond-Langner, Sally Nicholls, Esther Pittello, Joseph Coelho and Georgia Nasseh, with special thanks to the children involved.

Produced and presented by Mel Harris
Research by Tess Davidson
Executive Production by Geoff Bird
Sound Design by Eloise Whitmore

A Sparklab production for BBC Radio 4

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Can children's books help us face death and grief?

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Seasons for Growth is an early intervention grief education programme aimed at helping children, young people and adults through grief, brought about through loss or significant change in their lives.

Seasons for Growth is based on the belief that change, loss and grief are a normal and valuable part of life. We need to be able to examine how it impacts our lives.

Seasons for Growth provides the opportunity for each participant to integrate the appropriate knowledge, skills and attitudes to understand and cope with loss and grief. This takes place in a like-to-like peer support setting.

It is not counselling or therapy. This is an early intervention peer support education programme particularly suited to addressing variety of emotional and behavioural issues and reducing the amount of children and young people who require specialist help.

Seasons for Growth supports children, young people and adults from school entry level upwards. It supports anyone who has undergone a significant change or loss in their lives. This can include (but not exclusively limited to):

Family breakdown (divorce, separation, care situations)

Death of a friend or relative

Parental stresses (unemployment, imprisonment etc.)

Injury disability or serious illness (self or others in the family)

Loss of self-esteem

Yes. Because Seasons for Growth is evidence based practice and is continuously evaluated to ensure it is meeting the needs of the people is it designed to support. Results from evaluations in 2009 have shown that, among other results, Seasons for Growth has helped children and young people to:

Become more focused, attentive in class.

Improve attendance.

Have greater confidence & raised self-esteem

Be more in control of their emotions - less challenging or anti-social behaviour.

Improve communication, strengthen relationships with family and peers and new friendships.

Knowing they have choices about how they respond to changes/situations.

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Seasons For Growth bereavement change and loss peer group support

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Seasons For Growth is a grief peer group education & support programme for childen aged 6 - 18, young people and adults, who are affected by change loss and grief.

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This short animated film aims to help adults understand how grieving children can seem to move in and out of their grief, a bit like they're jumping in and out of a puddle.

Imagine a puddle full of sad feelings; a child may jump into this puddle when someone important to them has died. But children can't cope with sad feelings for too long, so eventually they need to jump out and do something that distracts them, like playing with their friends or going to the park.

We hope this film will reassure those supporting bereaved children that puddle jumping is normal and means a child is learning to cope with their grief.

You might also like to watch Children, Grief and Creativity, a short animated film by Creative Grieving, providing advice on supporting bereaved children and tips on how creativity can help them process their loss.

Puddle Jumping won silver in the £500k-£5m charity income category at the Charity Film Awards 2023.

Visit our page: How we can support you for more on our services.

You can also call our Helpline 0800 02 888 40 , email , or use Live Chat on our website.

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Short films delivered by our support practitioners giving guidance on a range of bereavement topics. Read more

A list of books and resources relating to grief and bereavement and what may help. Read more

Watch short films and read experiences of bereaved families and how support has helped them. Read more

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charity bereavement child death grief loss baby stillbirth miscarriage suicide young people

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Children can't cope with sad feelings for too long, so they move in and out of their grief, a bit like they're jumping in and out of a puddle.

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I cannot thank Purple Heart Wishes enough for arranging for me and my family, to go on a trip to Port Lympne Safari Park.

We had the most amazing time. The charity was very kind in providing us with the experience of a life time, we got to make memories and enjoy a fantastic day as a family.

They organised everything for us, we didn't need to worry about a thing, and also arranged for us to have lovely lunch.

This really is an amazing charity

Thank you so much

Annie

‍

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Purple Heart Wishes: A wish Granting Charity in the UK

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Purple Heart Wishes is a charity based in the UK that grants wishes to people who have been diagnosed with a terminal illness in their early adult life - helping them to create precious everlasting memories with family and friends.

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Help people feel better in mind, body and spirit by offering everybody with cancer a choice of personalised cancer care. All free, safe and backed by research.

Services include: Wellbeing days and residential retreats at our beautiful centre on the outskirts of Bristol, treatment support programme, and 'How to Live Well with Cancer' Programme.

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Organisations that can help - Parenting with Cancer

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Help people feel better in mind, body and spirit by offering everybody with cancer a choice of personalised cancer care. All free, safe and backed by research. Services include: Wellbeing days and residential retreats at our beautiful centre on the outskirts of Bristol, treatment support programme, and 'How to Live Well with Cancer' Programme.

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We are in the process of growing this section by collecting best practice, and evidence-based resources for you. Some have been written by experts and some by parents with lived experience.

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We are in the process of growing this section by collecting best practice, and evidence-based resources for you. Some have been written by experts and some by parents with lived experience.

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We find, fund and fuel brilliant people and brave ideas to make Wales a world leader in cancer survival

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Power point presentation created by the Wonderful Ellie Cooke explaining common Cancer diagnosis at the TCTU.

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Parenting is hard.

Having cancer is hard.

Parenting with cancer feels impossible.

Welcome to this space where you will find support, guidance, tips, advice and the recognition that parenting with cancer is tough.

It doesn't matter what your family looks like, or if you're just diagnosed, in treatment, living with, or now cancer free, we will help you navigate family life and the challenges parenting throws at you.

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Welcome to this space where you will find support, guidance, tips, advice and the recognition that parenting with cancer is tough. It doesn't matter what your family looks like, or if you're just diagnosed, in treatment, living with, or now cancer free, we will help you navigate family life and the challenges parenting throws at you.

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A guide to pronouns and gender inclusive language

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Live Through This is a cancer support and advocacy charity for the LGBTIQ+ community. Cancer can affect anyone but is more common in LGBTIQ+ people. Until now, the queer community has gone largely underrepresented and we want to change that. We provide a safe space for anybody who identifies as part of the queer spectrum and has had an experience with any kind of cancer at any stage from testing, diagnosis, treatment, remission to long term care.

We think it is important that both patients and professionals are a ware of how sexual orientation and gender identity can affect the cancer experience so that everyone can access the appropriate support specific to their needs.

We understand that being an LGBTIQ+ person with cancer can feel isolating so we are here to prove we are not alone and are here with you along the way.

We believe community is key and is strengthened by mutual care.

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Live Through This is a cancer support and advocacy charity for the LGBTIQ+ community. Cancer can affect anyone but is more common in LGBTIQ+ people. Until now, the queer community has gone largely underrepresented and we want to change that.

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At My Sisters Place the counselling and therapy we provide is 'trauma informed' and in many cases 'trauma specific'. We offer free and confidential one to one trauma informed counselling for women and male survivors 16 years and over who have experienced and or witnessed abuse of any kind, either historical or on-going. We place our client's needs at the centre of our service delivery and design to ensure equitable access without discrimination.

Trauma informed means is that all of our counsellor's and therapists are trained and understand the impacts of interpersonal trauma. They understand how this can impact and affect you as an individual and most importantly are able to help you understand what is happening and help reduce some of the symptoms of trauma that you may be experiencing.

Abuse can include physical, emotional, psychological, sexual, financial, coercive control, harassment, stalking, on-line or digital, forced marriage, honour based violence and female genital mutilation (FGM). These experiences of abuse may have been with;

* a partner of any sex, husband, boyfriend, wife, girlfriend
* a parent either biological, adoptive or foster
* in-laws
* a grandparent
* a brother
* a sister
* a daughter
* a son
* a family member
* someone known to us or our family
* a carer
* someone we just met
* someone we met on-line

Experiencing abuse of any kind can leave us with a whole range of difficult and challenging emotions and reactions, and we can feel confused, scared and unsure of many things.

At My Sisters Place we commit to you at every stage of your recovery from those experiences and understand that being free of the impacts of abuse is complicated and can take time, its just not that 'black and white' and often feelings don't end when we leave relationships or the abuse stops.

We will offer you an accepting and non-judgemental space to discuss and explore the range of complicated thoughts feelings and emotions you are experiencing at whatever stage you are at in your journey weather you are:

* still in a relationship.
* thinking about leaving.
* Have left but are still dealing with confusing emotions.
* Have left the relationship but are experiencing on-going issues with the abusive person/s.
* Have been away from the abuser for many years but still feel impacted by your experiences.
* Now be in a healthy relationship but feel your past experiences are affecting how you feel with your new partner.

Click here to find out how to access.

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My Sisters Place - Trauma Informed Counselling

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At My Sisters Place the counselling and therapy we provide is 'trauma informed' and in many cases 'trauma specific'. We offer free and confidential one to one trauma informed counselling for women and male survivors 16 years and over who have experienced and or witnessed abuse of any kind, either historical or on-going.

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We take security seriously

We use a variety of different tools, services, protocols and procedures to ensure that our security is robust. We utilise SSL (Secure Sockets Layer) to provide secure channels between machines and devices operating over the internet or an internal network. Like the NHS we entrust Amazon Web Services (AWS) to store data. AWS protect data held with them in a number of ways including Advanced Encryption Standard 256 (AES-256). We comply to GDPR standards, carryout penetration testing and have been reviewed and accredited by ORCHA. You own your data and we do not share it with anyone. Our users are able to fully delete their account and all of the data it contains within the 'My Profile' section.

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MyWishes: Free Will Writing, Digital Legacy, Advance Care Plan & Funeral Software

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Make plans for the important people and possessions in your life for free

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Reg. Charity 1197112.

Ella Dawson Foundation

© The Ella Dawson Foundation Copyright 2022, All Rights Reserved.

The Ella Dawson Foundation is a registered charity: 1197112 (England and Wales).

The Art Studio, 3 Delves Moor, Huddersfield, HD7 5TY

Tel: 07733 104198

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Reg. Charity 1197112. Ella Dawson Foundation © The Ella Dawson Foundation Copyright 2022, All Rights Reserved. The Ella Dawson Foundation is a registered charity: 1197112 (England and Wales). The Art Studio, 3 Delves Moor, Huddersfield, HD7 5TY Tel: 07733 104198

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We take security seriously

We use a variety of different tools, services, protocols and procedures to ensure that our security is robust. We utilise SSL (Secure Sockets Layer) to provide secure channels between machines and devices operating over the internet or an internal network. Like the NHS we entrust Amazon Web Services (AWS) to store data. AWS protect data held with them in a number of ways including Advanced Encryption Standard 256 (AES-256). We comply to GDPR standards, carryout penetration testing and have been reviewed and accredited by ORCHA. You own your data and we do not share it with anyone. Our users are able to fully delete their account and all of the data it contains within the 'My Profile' section.

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MyWishes: Free Will Writing, Digital Legacy, Advance Care Plan & Funeral Software

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Make plans for the important people and possessions in your life for free

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1.3.1.1 The results of semen analysis conducted as part of an initial assessment should be compared with the following World Health Organization reference values:

semen volume: 1.5 ml or more

pH: 7.2 or more

sperm concentration: 15 million spermatozoa per ml or more

total sperm number: 39 million spermatozoa per ejaculate or more

total motility (percentage of progressive motility and non-progressive motility): 40% or more motile or 32% or more with progressive motility

vitality: 58% or more live spermatozoa

sperm morphology (percentage of normal forms): 4% or more. [2004, amended 2013]

Please note the reference ranges are only valid for the semen analysis tests outlined by the World Health Organization.

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Fertility problems: assessment and treatment

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1.3.1.1 The results of semen analysis conducted as part of an initial assessment should be compared with the following World Health Organization reference values: semen volume: 1.5 ml or more pH: 7.2 or more sperm concentration: 15 million spermatozoa per ml or more total sperm number: 39 million spermatozoa per ejaculate or more total motility (percentage of progressive motility and non-progressive motility): 40% or more motile or 32% or more with progressive motility vitality: 58% or more live spermatozoa sperm morphology (percentage of normal forms): 4% or more.

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Quality statement

People preparing to have treatment for cancer that is likely to result in fertility problems are offered cryopreservation.

Rationale

Some treatments for cancer can cause fertility problems. Cryopreservation of men's sperm or women's oocytes or embryos may give people with cancer the option of having children in the future.

Structure

Evidence of local arrangements to ensure that people preparing to have treatment for cancer that is likely to result in fertility problems are offered cryopreservation.

Data source: Local data collection.

Process

a) Proportion of males having treatment for cancer that is likely to result in fertility problems who receive sperm cryopreservation.

Numerator - the number in the denominator who receive sperm cryopreservation.

Denominator - the number of males having treatment for cancer that is likely to result in fertility problems.

Data source: Local data collection.

b) Proportion of females having treatment for cancer that is likely to result in fertility problems who receive oocyte or embryo cryopreservation.

Numerator - the number in the denominator who receive oocyte or embryo cryopreservation.

Denominator - the number of females having treatment for cancer that is likely to result in fertility problems and:

who are well enough to undergo ovarian stimulation and egg collection

whose condition will not worsen with cryopreservation

who have enough time before the start of their cancer treatment.

Data source: Local data collection.

What the quality statement means for different audiences

Service providers (specialist fertility services) ensure that agreed referral pathways are in place to provide cryopreservation to people who are preparing to have treatment for cancer that is likely to result in fertility problems.

Healthcare professionals (in specialist fertility services) offer cryopreservation to people preparing to have treatment for cancer that is likely to result in fertility problems.

Commissioners (clinical commissioning groups) ensure there is sufficient capacity within fertility services to provide cryopreservation for people preparing to have cancer treatment that is likely to result in fertility problems, with agreed referral pathways in place.

People preparing to have treatment for cancer that is likely to result in fertility problems are given the option to preserve (freeze and store) their eggs or sperm for possible use in the future.

Equality and diversity considerations

The existence of living children should not be a factor that precludes the provision of fertility treatment.

There should not be a lower age limit for cryopreservation for fertility preservation in people diagnosed with cancer.

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This quality standard covers assessing and treating fertility problems in people with explained and unexplained infertility, including access to IVF treatment. It also covers cryopreservation before cancer treatment that may affect fertility. It describes high-quality care in priority areas for improvement

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You searched for fertility - GenderGP Transgender Services

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Introducing Astriid Consulting - our game-changing new offering for inclusive businesses!

Find out more about our brand new research and consultancy support, designed for inclusive employers seeking talented people with long-term conditions...

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Astriid is the charity helping people with long-term health issues and their carers find meaningful employment or volunteering opportunities.

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The Trevor Project | For Young LGBTQ Lives

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The Trevor Project provides 24/7 crisis support services to LGBTQ young people. Text, chat, or call anytime to reach a trained counselor. Free and confidential.

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This International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia, and Transphobia (IDAHOBIT) we reflect on the historical and continued criminalisation of and discrimination against LGBTQ+ people around the world.

Despite hard-won successes, there still remains an overwhelming need to increase awareness and galvanise action amidst rising hate crimes, and a concerted and global legislative pushback against LGBTQ+ rights. Here are just some documentaries that illuminate the varied struggles, experiences, and perseverance of LGBTQ+ people across the globe, past and present.

1. Welcome to Chechnya (2020)

This heartbreaking and vital look into the spiralling wave of homophobic violence and anti-gay purges spreading through Chechnya as of the late 2010s. It follows LGBTQ+ Chechen refugees - mostly anonymised for their own safety - using hidden cameras as they fled out of Russia through a network of safehouses aided by activists and good samaritans.

2. Portrait of Jason (1967)

In this candid and spirited documentary interview - incendiary even by today's standards - aspiring cabaret performer and self proclaimed 'hustler' Jason Holliday waxes and reflects on the art, life and trials of 60s America, from his point of view of a Black, gay man.

3.Olly Alexander: Growing up Gay (2020)

Years and Years leading man, queer pop icon and friend of Stonewall, Olly Allexander, explores the mental health issues faced by members of the LGBTQ+ community, as well as his own relationship to his identity.

Watch the documentary.

4. Defiance: Voices of a New Generation (2020)

These compelling stories from Nigeria's LGBTQ+ community are set against the backdrop of their struggle against enduring colonial-era homophobia, renewed and bolstered by a contemporary wave of religious and social conservatism that has seen LGBTQ+ people in Nigeria fall victim to an onslaught of legislative and literal violence. In a society where existence and community is criminalised, their bold activism and visibility is undoubtedly an act of defiance.

Watch the documentary.

5. Paris is Burning (1990)

This landmark documentary, exploring the fire, fervour, and cultural innovation of the 80s New York Ballroom scene, a predominantly QTIPOC and working class community, as told through the enduring eyes of some of its most charismatic and glittering figures.

Its cult following and impact on both LGBTQ+culture (RuPaul's Drag race springs to mind) and in wider media would turn subjects such as Octavia St Laurent into queer household names. But it's impact is a heavy contrast to the sad story of exploitation that underpinned its production and direction, with many of those who appeared on camera going on to face increasing deprivation and violence.

6. Free Cece (2016)

Produced by Black trans icon, actor and activist, Laverne Cox, 'Free Cece' follows the titular CeCe McDonald through her personal and the collective struggle against her unjust criminalisation and incarceration, following an act of self defence against a transphobic attack, and confronts the culture of violence surrounding trans women of color in America.

Watch the documentary.

7. How To Survive A Plague (2012)

'How to Survive a Plague' is a moving documentary about the harrowing early years of the AIDS epidemic, and the efforts of activist groups ACT UP and TAG to resist an establishment that had abdicated all responsibility and duty of care to the LGBTQ+ community as it was decimated by the HIV/AIDS epidemic.

Watch the documentary.

8. Are You Proud? (2019)

In this moving documentary from Ashley Joiner, rare archive footage and interviews across a spectrum of historical campaigns and current activists in the United Kingdom celebrate and contextualise the LGBTQ+ Pride movement's landmark achievements.

Watch the documentary.

9. Tongues Untied (1989)

A seminal, influential and stunning work from filmmaker Marlon Riggs that aimed to give a voice and platform the the experiences, culture, intimacies and perspective of Black gay male communities, and in his own words, to "... shatter the nation's brutalizing silence on matters of sexual and racial difference." Featuring renowned 'poet-warrior', Essex Hemphill, 'Tongues Untied' is a must-see, unreplicated by any LGBTQ+ documentary work in the three decades since.
Watch the trailer
10. Disclosure (2020)

Described by the team behind it as "an unprecedented, eye-opening look at transgender depictions in film and television, revealing how Hollywood simultaneously reflects and manufactures our deepest anxieties about gender," 'Disclosure' provides a nuanced, analytical and accessible breakdown of trans representation in some of Hollywood's most beloved moments and the off-screen real world repercussions of a failure to represent trans lives and stories authentically, accurately and without prejudice.

Presented via the opinions, reactions and perspectives of leading trans thinkers and creatives. Featuring Laverne Cox, Lilly Wachowski, Yance Ford, Mj Rodriguez, Jamie Clayton, Chaz Bono, and more.

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10 documentaries to understand the LGBTQ+ rights movement

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Despite hard-won successes, there still remains an overwhelming need to increase awareness and galvanise action amidst rising hate crimes, and a concerted and global legislative pushback against LGBTQ+ rights. Here are just some documentaries that illuminate the varied struggles, experiences, and perseverance of LGBTQ+ people across the globe, past and present.

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Request a Wish for a Young Adult with a Terminal Illness

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By granting a wish for people experiencing something awful in the prime of their lives. All we hope is that we can help make something special happen by granting them a wish.

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Looking after someone

If you are supporting somebody with a terminal illness this is a space for you - carer, loved one, family, friend or neighbour. Sometimes it can be beneficial to share your worries or concerns. Post here and others will hopefully be able and willing to share their thoughts and experience with you.

71 threads

Last post Clinging on to hope

3 comments

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Marie Curie Community | Care & support through terminal illness.

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If you are supporting somebody with a terminal illness this is a space for you - carer, loved one, family, friend or neighbour. Sometimes it can be beneficial to share your worries or concerns. Post here and others will hopefully be able and willing to share their thoughts and experience with you.

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Our mission is to create a more inclusive society for our families

Helping families and disabled children with complex needs alongside scoliosis ,spina bifida, brittle bone disease or any other bone condition.

"I love Strongbones, they are the most inclusive team I have ever been a part of, they have helped me in lots of ways and my confidence has grown .Strongbones show the world that even with a disability nothing is impossible .Strongbones has gifted me some amazing equipment and fun activities which I love to explore. In lockdown when I was shielding all the packs and challenges kept me busy and feeling less alone and enabled me to have some much needed fun time in the garden .I love to keep in touch online with the Strongbones community and to see what everyone else is achieving, this giveS me inspiration to try new things."

Layton Stevenson

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More

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"I love Strongbones, they are the most inclusive team I have ever been a part of, they have helped me in lots of ways and my confidence has grown . Strongbones show the world that even with a disability nothing is impossible . Strongbones has gifted me some amazing equipment and fun activities which I love to explore.

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What we aim to do

Enable young people to ignite their future

Help find solutions to specific issues arising from disadvantages

Source appropriate training and development opportunities

Provide a network of support through other organisations

Assist in finding opportunities in the world of business

What we cannot do

Provide venture capital or start up funding

Fund or partially fund academic qualifications in formal tertiary education

What our outcome is
Making a difference by helping young people become successful, by enabling them to pursue their own aims to enter the world of business

Our Values Include:

A belief in affirmative action to help overcome a disadvantage

Making a positive difference to people's lives

Taking a holistic approach to people's needs

Empowering people and enabling their development in a world of business

Building a community that helps others succeed regardless of their circumstances

Making a difference

How We Help?

Each case will be different, tailored to the individual. Examples of how we might help include:

Assistance with the provision of computer hardware, software and assistance with the costs of licenses, security systems and other technology based aids.

Assisting with the funding of computer training and digital support to enable research, communication and professionalism.

Helping with communications - mobiles, broadband, printers, website design and execution.

Sourcing and funding the right training modules to assist with such things as English as a second language, interviewing techniques, negotiating skills, business etiquette, networking.

Advice and training on the creation of a pitch for a job, on how to understand the hierarchy of a company and how to navigate the roles of the interviewees and manage their expectations.

Providing advice and simple financial planning assistance.

Providing support on understanding what CSR is and why it matters.

Assistance and funding basic necessities - the right clothing, equipment, software, presentation materials, transport costs for the first few months of a job, designed to improve confidence and self worth.

Access to a network of contacts that might assist in finding work placement, internships, part time exposure to the world of work, access to facilities.

Access to a community of successful and supportive business people. Providing opportunities for meeting and sharing experiences and aspirations.

Finding a safe place from which to work, with the right access to a desk, power sources, wifi, a postal address, a domain/safe email address.

Advice and support in researching possible employers and how best to develop skills and experience that will attract those employers, despite the lack of formal educational qualifications.

Trustee

Andrew Jackson

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Who we are | Our Values | Jim Jackson Foundation

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What we aim to do Enable young people to ignite their future Help find solutions to specific issues arising from disadvantages Source appropriate training and development opportunities Provide a network of support through other organisations Assist in finding opportunities in the world of business What we cannot do Provide venture

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We have been inundated with requests and unfortunately, the fund has now depleted. If you need financial support as a result of the rising cost of living in the UK, please visit our Cost of Living with Leukaemia Fund here.

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Financial Hardship Fund Application Form - Leukaemia Care

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We have been inundated with requests and unfortunately, the fund has now depleted. If you need financial support as a result of the rising cost of living in the UK, please visit our Cost of Living with Leukaemia Fund here.

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Soroptimist International Great Britain and Ireland (SIGBI)

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What is the Diamond Education Grant?

This grant awarding body was set up by our Federation (SIGBI) in 1972. Its purpose is to provide grants to assist women to update their skills after employment breaks or to acquire new skills to improve their opportunities for employment and promotion. Awards are made to help towards the cost of course fees or books/equipment, not for living expenses.

The grants that are awarded included courses as diverse as helicopter engineering, teacher training, an MA in play therapy, a BSc in midwifery, a conversion course for an overseas qualified pharmacist and a diploma in sign language interpreting ( click here to view some case studies).

How to apply

Applications for grants towards courses in the academic year September 2023 to July 2024 are now open. Short courses are considered as long as they fall within these dates. Please complete the application form , but do read the notes below first to check if you are eligible.

To be eligible for a grant you do not have to be a Soroptimist (most of our applicants are not) but you must be female and permanently resident within one of the countries of our Federation. Eligible countries are listed below.

The closing date for applications is 15 April 2023, and all applicants will be notified via email at end of June 2023 whether or not they have received a grant. Successful applicants will be asked to provide some further proof of enrolment and two references before their grant is issued.
Eligible Countries Asia
Bangladesh
India
Nepal
Pakistan
Sri Lanka
Europe
Guernsey
Isle of Man
Jersey
Malta
Republic of Ireland
United Kingdom
Caribbean
Anguilla
Barbados
Grenada
Jamaica
St Vincent and the Grenadines
Trinidad and Tobago
Turks and Caicos

How to donate

Around seventeen awards are made each year. With increased funding, many more women could be helped to make that vital career step up. To make a donation, either complete the donation form in the left hand side panel of this webpage or send a cheque, made payable to SIGBI Limited, to SIGBI Ltd, 2nd Floor, Beckwith House, 1 Wellington Road North, Stockport, SK4 1AF with a note to say that it is for the Diamond Education Grant.

And don't stop there! Next time you review your Will, please consider including a legacy for the Fund, enabling your work as a Soroptimist to live on after you. The wording should be as follows: "I GIVE the sum of £..........to SIGBI Ltd (address as above) for the benefit of the Diamond Education Grant Registered charity No 1139668."

Recycling in aid of the Diamond Education Grant

Many Clubs have successfully used the jewellery recycling service to fund raise for past SIGBI Projects and their own Projects, and we now ask you to consider continuing this great method of raising funds in aid of the Diamond Education Grant. SI Milford Haven is currently doing this in conjunction with "Recycling for Good Causes".

Please encourage your Members to support this project so that we can continue to transform the lives of women and meet our goal to educate, empower and enable. Clubs can raise funds by simply collecting recyclable items such as jewellery (made of any material), watches, rings, old bank notes and coins or gadgets such as Sat Navs, Games Consoles and Games, Tablets, Video Cameras, Mobile Phones, iPods and Laptops of any age.

The smaller items can be posted in a padded envelope to FREEPOST Licence RSXA-GJBY-ARRZ, Soroptimist International DEG, Unit 14 Amber Business Village, Tamworth, B77 4RP. For gadgets please request a sack by contacting Erene Grieve via hq@sigbi.org or 01646 278826, fill it and then request collection from customerservices@recyclingforgoodcauses.org.
Don't Delay Start Recycling Today!

Join Soroptimist International Great Britain and Ireland (SIGBI) Today

Soroptimist International Great Britain and Ireland (SIGBI) has 6000 Members in 270 Clubs in 18 countries including Great Britain, Ireland and countries in Asia, the Caribbean and Malta, who work at a local, national and international level to educate, empower and enable women and girls.

Get In Touch

Soroptimist International Great Britain & Ireland (SIGBI) Ltd, 2nd Floor, Beckwith House, 1-3 Wellington Road North, Stockport, SK4 1AF
Tel: +44 (0)161 480 7686
Email: hq@sigbi.org

Company Number: 7058666
Charity Number: 1179433

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This grant awarding body was set up by our Federation (SIGBI) in 1972. Its purpose is to provide grants to assist women to update their skills after employment breaks or to acquire new skills to improve their opportunities for employment and promotion.

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How to apply for a GANE GRANT

In 2017 we gave out 52 Gane grants, and 4 awards in the Gane Award Scheme, supporting people in the UK across the arts and social welfare. To make the utmost use of our resources, we are very specific about whom and what we fund, so please read the points below carefully. if you are setting up a project, be sure you think about how SUSTAINABLE it is and that you have a BUSINESS PLAN.

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How to apply for a GANE GRANT In 2017 we gave out 52 Gane grants, and 4 awards in the Gane Award Scheme, supporting people in the UK across the arts and social welfare. To make the utmost use of our resources, we are very specific about whom and what we fund, so please read the points below carefully.