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I’m a 16-year-old student harboring ardent feelings for ateacher. She’s an absolutely wonderful (in my view, angelic)human being, who seems utterly devoted to what she does and is terribly cordial to us students. It is out of awe for herpersonality, and gratitude for how she’s made a mark in my life,that I feel so attached to her. She’s in her late 20s, I suppose,but I feel she could be 18. My feelings are not sexual, but my social circles make barely any room for this possibility. I can find little solace in my friends for fear that they’d mock me because she’s not considered a looker. I feel an urge to tell her how amazing and adored she is, but fear she’ll be threatened or affronted, or that she’ll feel pained for me and not know how torespond.

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I’m 22, single and very romantic, yet I can’t relate towomen. I grew up with a womanizing father and ever since I can remember he has made comments about women and sex. No man in my family has ever achieved true love and they have all had multiple sex partners and lovers, betraying the confidence of wives and long-term girlfriends. My great grandfather, my grandfather, my uncle and my father share thisand some of me thinks that I can’t fight it, that I will become the same. But I struggle. I just can’t talk to women; I can’t playcharming around them even when I have a good relationship with them in spaces such as work or college. I have “female friends”, but I can’t break the confidence they have in me by playing the love card. So I’m often the friend of the women Ilike. My entire romantic concept has been built by culture, by movies like Gone with the Wind or Doctor Zhivago, books like A Farewell to Arms, For Whom the Bells Tolls and long sessions of the Smiths or the Cure.

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I have a 23-year-old daughter. Her mother and I split up when she was seven due to her mother’s infidelity. I still see mydaughter regularly and she is close to my wife and the two otherchildren we have. My daughter didn’t have a “proper” boyfrienduntil she was in her late teens. Last week I was informed that her new boyfriend is a little older than her. It transpires he’s 48!He also has a wife and two children who he is preparing to leave to be with my daughter. I am, in equal measures, furious, horrified, embarrassed, ashamed and desperate. This new boyfriend is older than my wife, who is 46. I am 55. My daughter wants me to meet this man, but I am too shocked and angry that a man of his age and with his responsibilities could behave in this manner. How should I handle this? I am too embarrassed to talk to my friends about it.

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I am 38, happily married with two children and have a job I enjoy. However, I have found myself plagued by anxiety about friendships and feelings of loneliness. Since having children I seem to have been on a roller-coaster of friendships. As our lives have evolved, people have drifted away. I now feel I am left with acquaintances (mainly school mums) rather than actual friends. I find WhatsApp groups stressful and can’t go onFacebook, as I feel jealous when I see events where I haven’tbeen included. Some of my pre-children friends remain, but busy lives and distance mean I only see them a couple of timesa year. I’ve given up on phone calls, as people only seem towant to text! I just don’t know how I can get out of thisspiraling anxious mindset. Will it improve when my children are older, or without play dates will my social life dry up altogether?

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I am a 30-year-old guy and I am really lonely. I was born in Iran and was raised in a conservative family and society. I wentto university there and graduated with a master’s degree inEnglish language studies. I am now at university in Germany, but I am not able to make friends with girls. I have no proper job, no future and not even a friend. I tried online dating sites;they don’t work. What is wrong with me? I even think of endingmy life. I do not have any future going back to a country which does not accept me when I do not believe in Islam.

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Dear lonely friend:

How about  making new Friends? You ought to expand the circle to surround yourself with new people,  so you would have  rewarding experiences. I know it's good for you to keep those old friendships, but as yourself  say, there are few times that you could see because of  occupations and distances.

If I were you, I would  join groups where differents activities are carried out. What  really important is that activities are of your preference. I think, these could be sports, artistic, with social purposes or nature care, etc. So, you could do things that you like.

In those groups you will be able  to meet people with whom you would share many moments of friendship. The fact that you have a family does not mean you have to let your social life run out. So, you must have a better attitude and optimism towards life.

Thanks for writing me, I hope my advice be helpful for you!!

Your affectionately,

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Hi, first that all i´m very happy to say hello and I hope you are fine, really is very grateful that you address me trusting me what happens to you, I hope that my advices can help you so much.

Beforehand, I want to tell you that what is happening to you is not something that only happens to you, but it is very common, especially in teenagers, people of your age who, due to their stage of growth, experience various changes, mainly hormonal.

From my point of view, I think that the first thing you will have to assimilate is the role you occupy, in this case student, therefore you must be very respectful with all your teachers and although many of them may please you or have them as friends, they will be on a quite distant social scale, your teacher may treat you very well and you may like that, even your personality, but you must be aware that this does not mean that you have additional feelings towards you, because it is often the case that many teachers see their students as if they were their children and try to treat them as well as possible.

As you say, out of respect for your teacher and since you appreciate her a lot and if you feel that you can not control that feeling that squeezes your chest, I think you should consult with a psychologist, they are professionals in human behavior and you will surely need a very precise in this regard, I for my part I give you my views on this and may when you read this you agree or not, but this will not get you or solve your concern, I could give you other perspectives on the matter, but even so I'm sure that you should consult with a more qualified professional.

I imagine that in some moments, you have thought many things about it, even contemplated the option of talking with the school psychologist, but I deduce that you have not done it, probably afraid of what this could cause in school and that is why you have resorted to me. In this sense I propose that we go together to a psychologist who is my friend and does not have anything to do with your school, I know very well that he will gladly assist us and give us the best advice in this regard.

I understand that you feel the need to tell your closest friends, but I also think that you should not do it, because they may complicate the situation in your school. Before you discuss your situation with all of them I invite you to follow my advice to visit the psychologist, it may be that you will be very helpful, meanwhile I hope that my views and my advice will reassure you a little, see you soon.

Thank you

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Hello dear friend,

First of all, I want to tell you that I understand your situation and I know how you feel. However, you should not feel desperate and horrified by what is happening with your daughter. You might think that you did something wrong, but it's not like that. Your responsibility was to raise her and educate her with ethical principles and values. She is already an adult woman, she may be a little inexperienced but in the end it is already her responsibility what happens. Hard as it may be, I would advise you to meet the man she loves, this could help you to know him much better and so you can determine his intentions with your daughter. I'm sure she shall be happy to see you talking to him.

With time you will be able to assimilate the situation. By age don´t panic, nowadays it is a very usual situation for a young woman to fall in love with an older married man with children. Remember that love can be blind and has no age limits. You cannot be a nuisance to your daughter, you must understand her and be always willing to help her. As for your friends, you will have to reflect a lot and you might acquire the strength to swallow your pride and confront them. Courage, if you take my advice you will feel better and things could be fine with your daughter.

A hug.

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Hello Friend,

Thanks for sharing your story, it is important that you say what you feel, my advice to you is as follows:

You can start by being more sociable, As you are from another country, it may be more difficult for you. You are in a totally different nation, culture, language, customs, meals among other things. You can also start going to places where there are many people, so that you interact, have fun, know important places.

You should not be alone,, so you do not get depressed.
You could also try to find a better job on digital platforms, which is easier to apply and enter.
If you take my advice in the future you will be able to enjoy with your new friends and enjoy life.

Thank for writing me.

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First of all you have to think that despite your family members like your father or or uncle are womanizers, it doesn´t mean you will be one as well, you should think that we as human beings are totally different, every one feels and sees the world totally different to others even sometimes we can share some points of view with people. It is natural that you might experience some blame on you because of the background of your family members but you should realize that you are aware of the situation and that gives  some advantage to deal with the issue you are going throug now, that is why you should try a date  with a woman you like.

You are not going to "break the confidence women have in you by playing the love card" if you don't try it. Remember that wer are unique, you shouldn´t focus on what others have do as a source of your own actions, thus we are owners of our actions and words. Otherwise, everybody would think and do the same.

Best regards,

Agony aunt.

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Hello dear friend

Thanks for sharing your story, it is important that you say what you feel, my advice to you is as follows:

I hope you'll be well, first at all I'm sure you must to change your mind, you shouldn't have bad thinks, you should meeting more people and to make new Friends. You shouldn't worry about lonely because you are so young, Smart and a nice person, moreover . There are so Many beauty girls in the world. You ought to do exercises everyday this way you'll be better although you'll have to effort a lot yourself .

you could do a better job . if you wanted to . You can work in a school that teaches the English language. You can also give English tutoring classes. you would learn to interact and meet other people.

you would like to start by being more sociable. As you are from another country, it may be more difficult for you. You are in a totally different nation, culture, language, customs, meals among other things. You can also start going to places where there are many people, so that you interact, have fun, know important places. you could travel through europe and know wonderful places. The people are very kind and sociable. You must go to tourist places and leave fear to meet people, for example you can invite girls to watch movies at the cinema or you could invite them to dance. you should not be alone,so you do not get depressed.

You shan't need to go out from your new country if you don't want to. Don't do it.

A hug