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The land is everywhere or nowhere." (11)

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"Opal is full of regrets, not about things she has done" (161)

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"Opal is full of regrets, not about things she has done" (161)

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Jake

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“A bullet is a thing too fast its hot and so hot its mean and so straight it moves clean through a body, makes a hole, tears, burns, exits, goes on, hungry, or it remains, cools, lodges, poison.” Pg. 141

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"She'd already left the hospital by the time we got there. Turned out she just got knocked out from the fall. She didn't overdose."

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Page 164
He just left.

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representation

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"An apple is red on the outside and white on the inside." (10)

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It's important he dress like an Indian, dance like an Indian, even if it is an act, even if he feels like a fraud the whole time, because the only way to be Indian in this world is to look and act like an Indian. To be or not to be Indian depends on it.”

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Kids are jumping out the windows of burning buildings, falling to their deaths. And we think the problem is that they’re jumping. This is what we’ve done: We’ve tried to find ways to get them to stop jumping. Convince them that burning alive is better than leaving when the 🤬 gets too hot for them to take. We’ve boarded up windows and made better nets to catch them, found more convincing ways to tell them not to jump. They’re making the decision that it’s better to be dead and gone than to be alive in what we have here, this life, the one we made for them, the one they’ve inherited.

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"and then, as if all of it was leading up to what she was gonna say next, my mom paused a long pause, looked off toward the city, and told me that she had cancer."

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"There's no room here for old people like will anymore"(81)

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"There's no room here for old people like will anymore"(81)

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Jake

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“Some of us got this feeling stuck inside, all the time, like we’ve done something wrong. Like we ourselves are something wrong.”

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The tragedy of it all will be unspeakable, the fact we've been fighting for decades to be recognized as a present-tense people, modern and relevant, alive, only to die in the grass wearing feathers.

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"In her head she heard her mom say, 'the spiders wed is a home and a trap'" (101)

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"Foreigners on our own land" pg(52)

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"there was even one time, when he was dancing in opal's room with his eyes closed, when he felt like it was all his ancestors who made it so he could be there dancing and listening to that sound, singing right there in his ears through all those hard years they made it through.

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"He's always feared he'll find out that he's smelled like 🤬 and 🤬 his whole life without knowing it, that everyone's been afraid to tell him, like Kevin Farley in the fifth grade who ended up killing himself when he found out" (page 29)

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Would you call an attempted murder victim resilient?137

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The wound that was made when white people came and took all that they took has never healed. An unattended wound gets infected. Becomes a new kind of wound like the history of what actually happened became a new kind history. All these stories that we haven’t been telling all this time, that we haven’t been listening to, are just part of what we need to heal. Not that we’re broken. And don’t make the mistake of calling us resilient. To not have been destroyed, to not have given up, to have survived, is no badge of honor. Would you call an attempted murder victim resilient

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Something too big to feel underneath, and inside, too familiar to recognize, right there in front of you at all times

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"Something too big to feel underneath, and inside, too familiar to recognize, right there in front of you at all times." pg(29)

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"to make it right. and so what we could do had everything to do with being able to understand where we came from, what happened to our people, and how to honor them by living right, by telling our stories."

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shame

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"All my mom remembered about my dad was his first name, Harvey, that he was from Phoenix, and that he was Native American Indian. Ive always hated when she says "Native American Indian" this weird politically correct catchall you only hear from white people who've never known a real native person."

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"All my mom remembered about my dad was his first name, Harvey, that he was from Phoenix, and that he was Native American Indian. I've always hated when she says "Native American Indian" this weird politically correct catchall you only hear from white people who've never known a real native person."

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"Back home, in front of the TV, before I turned it on, I saw my face in the dark reflection there." (16)

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"Back home, in front of the TV, before I turned it on, I saw my face in the dark reflection there." (16)

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Jake

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Page 40
What we’ve seen is full of the kinds of stereotypes that are the reason no one is interested in the Native story in general, it’s too sad, so sad it can’t even be entertaining, but more importantly because of the way it’s been portrayed, it looks pathetic, and we perpetuate that, but no, 🤬 that, excuse my language, but it makes me mad, because the whole picture is not pathetic, and the individual people and stories that you come across are not pathetic or weak or in need of pity, and there is real passion there, and rage and that’s part of what I’m bringing to the project, because I feel that way too, I will bring that same energy to it, I mean if it gets approved and everything, and I can raise more money, it won’t take that much really, maybe even just this grant, and I’ll be doing most of the work.

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But I stopped telling the story I'd been telling myself, about how that was the only way, because of how hard I had it, and how hard I was, that story about self-medicating against the disease that was my life, my bad lot, history. 112

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"And so what Orvil is, according to himself, standing in front of the mirror with his too small for him stolen regalia is dressed up like an indian" (121)

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Identity Struggles

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"Your uncles dying" (page 34)

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1. “This is the thing: If you have the option to not think about or even consider history, whether you learned it right or not, or whether it even deserves consideration, that’s how you know you’re on board the ship that serves hors d’oeuvres and fluffs your pillows, while others are out at sea, swimming or drowning, or clinging to little inflatable rafts that they have to take turns keeping inflated, people short of breath, who’ve never even heard of the words hors d’oeuvres or fluff. Then someone from up on the yacht says, “It’s too bad those people down there are lazy, and not as smart and able as we are up here, we ,who have built these strong, large, stylish boats ourselves, we who float the seven seas like kings.”

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"stray bullets and consequences are landing on our unsuspecting bodies even now."

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The tragedy of it all will be unspeakable: the fact we've been fighting for decades to be recognized as a present-tense people, modern and relevant, alive, only to die in the grass wearing feathers.141

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"The spider's web is a home and a trap" (101)

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If you were fortunate enough to be born into a family whose ancestors directly benefited from genocide and/or slavery, maybe you think the more you don’t know, the more innocent you can stay, which is a good incentive to not find out, to not look too deep, to walk carefully around the sleeping tiger. Look no further than your last name. Follow it back and you might find your line paved with gold, or beset with traps.

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"she tells me we're Cheyenne people. that Indians go way back with the land. that all of this was once ours. All this. 🤬."

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"there is no there there"

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“It’s the way history lands on a face” (8).

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Page 32
He looked off, out the living room window, across the street, or farther, off to where the sun had set, or past that, back at his life maybe, and then he got the look in his eyes, it was something Dene had seen in his mom’s eyes, something that looked like remembering and dreading at once.

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“(they) took what we intended to be, our children before they were children, babies before they were babies” (8).

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"They probably felt sorry for me" pg.(20)

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"I watch my shadow grow long then flatten on the highway as a car flies by without slowing of seeming to notice me" (199) -Emily 

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"I watch my shadow grow long then flatten on the highway as a car flies by without slowing of seeming to notice me" (199) -Emily 

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"The hook is "Just 'cause you feel it doesn't mean it's there." (page 29)

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misconception

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“We’ve been defined by everyone else and continue to be slandered despite easy-to-look-up-on-the-internet facts about the realities of our histories and current state as a people” (7).

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"The word "stupid" often sounds off in his head when he looks at himself kn the mirror" (121)

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"The word "stupid" often sounds off in his head when he looks at himself kn the mirror" (121)

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Jake

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tragedy

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Misrepresentation

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“You want to run them down. Scream something at them.” pg. 215

“We get used to everything to the point that we even get used to everything.” Pg. 140

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Hopelessness

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Violence

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history and modernity

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Objectification

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Resilience

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Deprivation

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shame

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endangerment

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Forgetting

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The feeling of emptiness

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stereotypes

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Remembering