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Playing With Fire: 'Tis a Dangerous Game

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Playing With Fire: 'Tis a Dangerous Game

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https://anvituteja.com/2021/02/11/playing-with-fire-tis-a-dangerous-game/
Two companion pieces, Playing With Fire and A Dangerous Game, highlight the importance of rebelling and breaking stereotypes and making the world a beautiful and equal place for all in the form of a story where a girl fights against the world and vows to ‘watch, because this world will yet be mine.’ (Playing With Fire) and that ‘my fire will never again be stopped,’ (A Dangerous Game)
ANVI TUTEJA

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https://anvituteja.com/2021/02/11/a-dangerous-game/
If the whole world says, that I’m nothing but a horrible person,
Then who am I to tell them, that they don’t know it all,
If the whole world says, that I’m nothing but a rude girl,
Then who am I to tell them, that I’m not all that meets the eye,
If the whole world says, that I’m nothing but a broken heart,
Then who am I to tell them, that I had next to no part,

And If the whole world says, that I don’t have any rights,
Then who am I to tell them, that I will rise and fight,
Because even If the whole world says, that this is all I’ll ever be,
Then who are you to tell me, for it’s not your destiny,

I can hear the rumours, I can hear the whispers,
It keeps me up at night, tossing and turning,
But I will rise above and leave you starstruck and awaiting,
I do not fit your stereotypes, I wasn’t meant to be the norm,

But now I’ve fought your obstructions,
And I broke free from your path,
I’m like a bundle of contradictions,
Always caught up in misconceptions,
But now I’m free, I’m free to finally be me,

And you had your weapons, your cannons at the ready,
But what will they do, when I fought the whole world,
Your shadows leave no trace, that’s in the past,
Time isn’t waiting and I’m running so fast,

And then you were begging, weeping at my feet,
They say it’s in the past, But I know this won’t last,
So now they race behind me, as I race for the stars,

And now I’ll say to the whole world, that you just wait and watch,
Because now I’m here to tell you, I’m a bullet you just can’t dodge,

And how did you dare, to tell me who I could and couldn’t be,
But I rose above the ashes, reborn from the fire,
I’m just like a phoenix, solace in the flames,
Because my fire will never again be stopped,
And now my natural charisma will never be the same,

Fire, Fire, It’ll leave you burning,
Fire, Fire, You’ll never be the same,
Fire, Fire, ‘Tis a very dangerous game,
Fire, Fire, You’ll burn in your hate,

So remember that is the real me,
And I will run, run for all eternity,
They think it’s all so easy,
But they don’t know a fraction of my pain,
And now in that world, all of them say,
Repeating for all time, for I showed them the way:

“Playing with Fire, ‘Tis a dangerous game,
And once she’s done with you, you’ll never be the same,”
ANVI TUTEJA

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https://anvisthoughtscaught.wordpress.com/2021/02/01/1345/
I feel everything so deeply,
I know everything, without its meaning,
And you don’t know what it’s like to be me,
I move swiftly, without any reasoning,

And I don’t need to make sense, to be your perfect precedent,
I don’t need to be your warped idea of normal,
Society’s got it all wrong, I don’t mean to represent,
I don’t need to be your perfect little girl, always so formal,

I was a mistake, A beautiful enigma,
I was not meant to be a standard,
You cannot break my spirit, an abyss as abysmal,
As vast as a river that meandered,

And on their rules and shadows, you can find my insignia,
I destroyed their regular, I burnt their mandate,
You can’t control my essence, my alluring charisma,
I’m sorry, you’re out, past your use-by date,

Do you think you can control me?
When you play with fire, burning is inevitable,
I’m a wild spirit, A creature meant to be free,
Try to twist my words, my soul is impenetrable,

Keep your rules, your regulations,
I’d rather burn down your conglomerations,
Against your rules, your legislation, I’m as varied as creation,
I’ve got no obligations, I’d rather start a worldwide revolution in this backyard you call a nation,

You play with a dangerous fate, a destiny not yours,
You point at me, your evils, your sins and your crimes,
And yet against your weapons, your rumours, I’ll endure,
And watch, because this world will yet be mine.
ANVI TUTEJA

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https://anvisthoughtscaught.wordpress.com/2021/01/27/euripides-medea-and-life/
“Stronger than Lover’s Love is Lover’s Hate,
Incurable in each, the wounds they make.”
Euripedes’ Medea

When Jason went to retrieve the Golden Fleece to ensure prosperity and bountiful harvests for all of Greece, he journeyed to Colchis. The Greeks believed Colchis was at the edge of the known world, and Jason’s journey was a dangerous and perilous one, but one of honour to restore his throne and kingdom.
Upon reaching Colchis, Medea, the princess of Colchis fell in love with Jason, by the will of the goddesses: Aphrodite, Athena and Hera.
Medea’s father, the King, was not impressed with this upstart Greek and said that if he wanted the Golden Fleece, he would have to get it himself…past a fire-breathing dragon and skeletal soldiers.
Medea, a sorceress, vowed to help Jason if he would take her away with him to Greece. Jason agreed and with the help of Medea, he stole the Golden Fleece. They sailed off to Greece, but fell in danger every step of the way, because of a curse Medea had bestowed upon them when she killed her own brother under the facade of a truce.

Medea, a tragedy by Euripides, performed in 431 BCE. One of Euripides’ most powerful and best-known plays, Medea is a remarkable story of injustice, ruthless revenge and the mistreatment of a woman.
When Jason casts Medea off and decides to marry the Princess of Corinth, Medea is determined on revenge, and after a dreadful mental struggle between her passionate sense of injury and her love for her children, she decides to punish her husband by murdering both her sons and his future wife. She steels herself to commit these deeds and then escapes in the chariot of her grandfather, the sun-god Helios, leaving Jason without even the satisfaction of punishing her for her crimes. Euripides succeeds in evoking sympathy for the figure of Medea, who becomes, to some extent a representative of women’s oppression in general.

Now that we’ve got the backstory stuff covered, I want to talk about the real reason I chose to share this quote with all of you.
Let’s get the quote back here:
“Stronger than Lover’s Love is Lover’s Hate,
Incurable in each, the wounds they make.”

What is the difference between hatred and love? What is the difference between a wound and a scar? What is the difference between weakness and strength?
The answer, ladies and gentlemen, is time. Time heals all wounds. As the saying goes, Life Goes On.
It’s true, Life goes on, irrespective of you and your emotions. Nothing, not even the gods, can stop the cruel, inexorable and relentless passage of time.
But time yields wonderful results, the blooming of a flower, the growth of a child, the progress of humanity. So my advice, to everyone, today, is to live in the present. Enjoy life as it comes. As a great man once said,
“Life is what happens to us while we are busy making other plans.”
Thank you all. Stay Safe.
ANVI TUTEJA

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It had been a time of great change. The humans were to blame.
Their world was disappearing inch by precious inch: a lush, sun-drenched land full of colour and life becoming a barren, ruinous, grey wasteland.
What would become of them all? Was there even a future?

If there was, it certainly wasn’t bright, or merry, or beautiful, or any of the things it was before.
But they couldn’t complain, could they? They had brought this on themselves. But was that really their fault? They had just been doing what they had been for years, for decades, for centuries, even. This effect had not been a quick fix of a few generations, but a causality of years of damage and heartbreak.
And slowly, nature, unable to contain the darkness within, grew rebellious and inflicted it on humanity. All greenery faded away. Bright changed to dull, and light to dark.
It was a time of infinite sorrows. Wars waged over food. Life pit brother against brother in the ultimate fight for life. It was the race. The race against time. Humanity fighting for seconds. For morsels. For crumbs.

And then came the aftermath. A set of new heroes entered the world. They built what their forefathers could not: a bond with nature. They created, discovered, innovated. But there was one thing they could not cure: Humanity’s thirst. Thirst for curiosity, for wisdom, for power.
And then they committed the greatest sin of all: Self-Harm. They erased their minds, Their memories, And were finally devoid of emotion.
And one could argue that this was the Afterglow. Life prospered. Blissfully ignorant. Unaware that the meadows they played over were the graves of the many. That they had walked over the cold corpses of the race known as ‘The Before.’
In one way, this was their saviour. Ignorance was Bliss, at least for them. But then there were those who began to remember. It started with the children. Their minds were young. New. Blissfully Naive in the ways of the world. And it started with the nightmares. Visons. Hallucinations.
And then came the flashbacks. The memory of the sin they committed.
And what to do but then. The ones who talked had to be silenced. It was a necessary sacrifice. A necessary sacrifice. Those were the words that lured them to sleep at night. The many becoming the few becoming the one. Constant vigilance. It was a necessary sacrifice…
And then humanity moved on. The screams of those tortured before being cut off by the sound of a single shot, became commonplace in the new world. Their creation had done nothing. Nothing. But the people were used to it. And they were obstinate. Stubborn.
And then there were those who rebelled. Met in the shrouds of secrecy and darkness. We began our secret society. The Secret Society of the Survivors. And one day we ran.
We fled. Abandoning all our principles. The very thing that brought us together, urged us to flee. And we left, leaving them all to a merciless fate.
I still remember their screams. Their screams as they were torn apart. Destroyed. Obliterated. While we stood and watched and did nothing. We were their destruction. Their swan song.
And then we built this place. Far, Far away from those who had died. Died so that we could live. They had died believing they were alone. But they weren’t. We buried their bodies. Our comrades in arms. And then vowed never to return.
We began our own colony. On New-Terra. Life moved on. Humanity always does in the end. And now I stand here. On the edge of the new world. Standing. Waiting. That’s all I will do now. Simply Wait. Wait for all Eternity. Because they will come. And we will fight. Fight to avenge all those who were killed when it should have been us. We will stand together. Together and we will drive those mad brutes out. And then and only then will I finally rest. Rest in peace. Because I am the last of my people, ‘The Before’.
And until then I will wait. Standing here, Waiting, for Eternity. For my home. For My people, who died. And to avenge them, I will wait.
And to anyone who finds this, remember.
Remember.
Remember them.
Remember me.
Remember the feeling of despair when you’re tumbling down the cliff.
Because that moment will come for you, as it does for us all.
Your swan song.
And this? This is my swan song.
ANVI TUTEJA

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“History is naught but the telling of tales, each as varied and as beautiful as the many constellations that doth twinkle in the night sky.”
ANVI TUTEJA

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I'm Not The Type of Person: Fate Intended To Write

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I'm Not The Type of Person: Fate Intended To Write

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https://anvisthoughtscaught.wordpress.com/2021/01/25/not-the-type-of-person-fate-intended/
I’m not the type of person,
Who goes out without a fight,
I’m not the type of person,
Who won’t fight for their rights,
I’m not the type of person,
Who won’t fight to survive,
No, I’m not the type of person,
Fate intended to write,

All or nothing,
That’s what I say,
In a land of cliches,
I’m the only one who’s sane,
In an assembly line of parts,
I’m the one who can win them all,
I was a mistake,
A beauty, an enigma,

Aside from the normal,
A diamond in the rough,
I’m the one they can’t win without,
The one who comes home having won it all,
The only one in the land of robots,
I’m not scared to show my emotions,
I go all in and laugh when I lose,
The one who can withstand all fate’s got to prove,

Because I have nothing to lose in a land of riches,
Keep your rings, your riches, I’d rather stick with the witches,
Don’t follow me around,
You’ll end up fallen to the ground,
I’m different I’m special,
I’m not your typical, I’m original,
Not scared of losing the battle,
Cause I’ve already won the war,

I’m not your usual,
I’m not your typical,
I’m not the type of person to lose,
I’m not the type of person to be subdued,
I will fight for what’s mine,
Be it a sword, a shadow or a solid gold mine,
And I will prosper and survive the rough,
Because war’s coming and you’re going to need the tough.
ANVI TUTEJA

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https://anvisthoughtscaught.wordpress.com/2021/01/14/an-eternity-alone/
What does it mean to be alone?
To have no one and nothing waiting,
To sit in solitude, pondering the unknown,
Because your mind is already rating,

Loneliness, a disease with no cure,
And no, it’s not contagious,
But wait, you’re already detour’d,
Why is this desire to fit in, already so outrageous?

I’m no longer scared,
Of the dark and what it may contain,
Contrary to what popular opinion cared,
And now I sit here waiting for you, again,

An eternity alone, I fear I will spend,
Sitting here all by myself,
Alone till the very end,
Biding my time before the torturing hells,

The world goes on,
And no one notices my shadow,
My earthly body, I may have forgone,
But my spirit does hide, in the universe’s hollows,

No one noticed, my presence,
An invisible shade stuck in the in-between,
No one notices, my disappearance,
A flicker gone out in the dark, unseen,

No one may care,
They buried my ashes,
Oh, how do they dare,
On my stone there are gashes,

But I’m back now, waiting,
That’s all I can do,
No one to be relating,
Simply be true,

Slowly, Biding my time,
An Eternity has passed,
Watching sin, war and crime,
But I’m still here and here I will last.
ANVI TUTEJA

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https://anvisthoughtscaught.wordpress.com/2021/01/12/anonymity/
I wrote this because it was so complex that the idea fascinated me. It had to be a short poem, without the meaning being obvious, that told a story and explained a condition. As always, no offence is meant from my work to any persons, class, group, sect, religion, caste, sexuality, identity, etc.

Some times I wonder who it is,
It could be him, It could be her,
Hell, It could even be you,

Shrouded in mystery, Hiding in the dark,
Lurking in the shadows, A solace from the start,
Waiting, Slowly, Biding my Time,
Awaiting my guard down, Waiting to Strike,
Light to dark, Bad to good, Two wrongs don’t make it a right,
Comfort in the darkness, The shadows took me in,
Reveling in the success of my anonymity,
Anonymity, my solace from the start,
A bright shining hope, A light in the dark,

Some times I wonder, who it is,
It could be him, It could be her,
Hell, it could even be you,
Well, turns out it’s me!
ANVI TUTEJA

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https://anvisthoughtscaught.wordpress.com/2021/01/08/just-let-go-and-fall/
Sometimes I just don’t believe it,
I simply cannot realize it,
But our time’s come and gone,
Oh look, there’s no one to be around,
Because it’s done and dusted,
The chapter’s published,

Is there no place left for me to go,
Because I, Because I simply cannot be alone,
It’s so hard keeping away from you,
‘Cause I find it so hard to be true,

And now I live in isolation,
Just me alone, alone with my realizations,
I was simply never meant to be a hero,
In a listless ocean of sorrow, I’m desperately failing to row,
But to no avail,
Because I simply cannot tell the difference in what’s not real,

Because it’s done and dusted,
The chapter’s published,
And fate never intended for me to be a hero,
And the only one I’m fooling is my own wretched self, So,
I can’t do it no more,
Maybe it’s time to let go – and fall.
ANVI TUTEJA

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https://anvisthoughtscaught.wordpress.com/2021/01/01/its-the-endgame/
Worry growing, Fear spreading,

Waves of terror consuming a paralysed crowd,

Shouts of ‘it’s coming’ all around,

What is it, you ask, well let’s just say,

It’s a lethal poison or a dangerous adversary, in a way,

It’s cold-blooded, ruthless and unforgiving,

It’s cold, calculating, and takes no prisoners alive,

Old or Young, Rich or Poor, Strong or Weak,

It does not discriminate against lives,

Power, Sustenance and Total Control it does seek,

Worse than War, Scarier than Strife,

Powerful as Poison, Naughty as a Knife,

It’s a universal pandemic,

A worldwide epidemic,

No cure, no chance, no hope,

All the doctors say, “Just wash hands with soap”,

It’s a virus with which the world cannot hope to cope,

All that’s left is to just sit around and mope,

The world’s hanging by fraying ropes,

What else can we do when there are only dopes,

We have had it coming for a long time now,

No use in making a large row,

To put it simply, it is the End of Days,

Nature is rebelling, we incurred her wrath,

Will there be something left in the battle’s aftermath?

The Gods are taking revenge,

All we can do is pray, pray for mercy,

We are paying the price of our lethargy,

This is our fate, set by the Gods above,

It goes by many names,

Ragnarok, Fimbulwinter, Endgame, The Seven Suns,

It all refers to the same,

Total destruction, anarchy and chaos,

Preceded by annihilation and demolition,

Followed by bloodshed and death,

But after the battle, left will be a barren wasteland,

The foundations of a new world,

A new land, a new people, a new race,

Who, we can only hope, will make better choices than we made!

ANVI TUTEJA

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That One Time I Murdered a Ginger Bread Man (Or When I Made Eggless Chocolate Chip Sugar Butter Cookies)

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That One Time I Murdered a Ginger Bread Man (Or When I Made Eggless Chocolate Chip Sugar Butter Cookies)

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https://anvisthoughtscaught.wordpress.com/2021/01/01/that-one-time-i-murdered-a-ginger-bread-man/
Hey guys! Anvi here. First things first, I made cookies! Yay! More specifically chocolate chip cookies with butter and sugar! Yum!
Now that we’ve gotten over an esplosione of exclamation marks, let’s cut to the way the cookie crumbles. (All puns intended.)
I have always loved cookies and who doesn’t? (totally rhetorical question btw, i seriously do not want to know, stay away from me cookie anarchists! viva le cookies!) And ever since my winter break started, I had been dying to make some cookies.
And then I had a revelation! I could! I could make cookies, it couldn’t be that hard, could it? It’s not like it’s rocket science or molecular biology! (shivers)

(In hindsight, I probably should have gotten a few contingencies in place, like a fire extinguisher, backup recipes, enough ingredients to feed an army and maybe some how-to guides like remedial recipes for divine dunces. But, anyway, read on…
Warning: It’s not pretty. Like At All.)

The recipe I used is from hebbars kitchen's eggless chocolate chip cookies.

Eggless Chocolate Chip Sugar Butter Cookies Recipe
PREP TIME: 30 Minutes
COOK TIME: 15 Minutes Per Batch
TOTAL TIME FOR ONE BATCH: 45 Minutes
SERVINGS: 6 Per Batch
Ingredients Required
▢½ cup butter
▢1 cup sugar
▢1 cup flour
▢½ tsp baking soda
▢a pinch of salt as needed
▢1 tsp vanilla extract
▢3 tbsp warm milk
▢handful of chocolate chips
Recipe
1. Firstly, in a large mixing bowl mix one cup butter and add one cup sugar.
2. Whisk till the butter and sugar turn creamy.
3. Sieve in take 1 cup flour, ½ tsp baking soda and a pinch of salt as needed.
4. Add 1 tsp vanilla extract, 3 tbsp warm milk and combine well.
5. Knead the dough and combine gently
6. Make small balls and roll the batter. Cut shapes with shape cutters if needed.
7. Place the cookies in baking tray lined with butter paper.
8. Add chocolate chip cookies as required.
9. Bake the cookies in oven for 15 minutes per batch
10. Cool the cookies for 5 minutes on the tray, then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.
11. Enjoy!

I see you’re back then, so I hope you’re interested! I followed this recipe to a T, (uh, well mostly,) so I was hoping for perfection. But as it turns out, your first batch of cookies is never amazing, but certainly better than your third!
I mixed all the ingredients and mixed the dough in a dough maker. Next, was rolling the dough. I took the largest rolling pin we had, (a whopping one and a half feet long!), and began. Needless to say, my first attempt turned a slightly off-center lump into an even uglier off center weird oval of dough. I turned it back into a ball and yelled for my mom.
My mom assessed my work and immediately took charge of the program. She taught me how to roll dough. (Hint: use dry flour to keep dough from sticking to the rolling pin. But don’t use too much or cookies will taste like dry flour. I learnt that the hard way.)
I learnt how to roll dough and cut the cookies into Christmas trees and Gingerbread Men! Cookie murder had never been more delicious. Muahahaha!
I happily set the cookies into the baking tray and put into the oven. And then I stuffed my face with cookie dough! Ah, heaven. I finally know why there’s a cookie dough ice cream flavour. You learn something new everyday!
I took the cookies out after 15 minutes but to my dismay, the ones in the centre were all dark and burny! Hmph! Blast you stupid oven. In a totally unrelated matter, I have a bandage on my hand and a dent in my oven. Moving on!
I knew better this time and kept the cookies on the sides. 13.2 Minutes I took out a batch of perfect cookies! Yay!
20 Minutes later, I learnt a hard truth of life. It may seem implausible to all you naive cookie-ers but it’s true. I learnt Youtube is not the most important thing in my Life! Gasp! But I know, it’s true. Let me explain…
The third batch of cookies was 100% burnt and I understood, DON’T YOUTUBE WHILE COOKING! We lost a lot of good dough that day, and my only regret is the loss and sacrifice of those brave cookies. We salute you.

So there you have it, folks! A play by play of a battle we may have won, but it took a lot of brave (ginger bread) men to do it. But, we did warn you. We all knew going to this war, it was not going to be easy and all we can do is remember the brave cookies who lost their lives doing it.

Welp! Next project, Donuts…(Cue the evil laugh. Muahahaha!)

ANVI TUTEJA

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https://anvisthoughtscaught.wordpress.com/2021/01/01/at-the-stroke-of-midnight/
At the Stroke of Midnight,
As the twelfth chime rang,
I was blinded by the sparkling light,
As my family huddled ’round, like a top-secret gang,

Lay rotting away, the wreaths on the doors,
A day to end all pain, misery and strife,
It was the moment, everyone had been waiting for,
The thick tension was palpable; could be cut with a knife,

It was a day to forget,
The mistakes of the past,
To let go of all sorrows, sins and regrets,
The die had finally been cast,

All waited with bated breath,
Everything paused, flying birds, rustling leaves, not to mention, man,
Everything paused, moving clouds, flowing water, not to mention, death,
As The Countdown finally began,

10, The numbers flashed on the clock,
9, Stuck between a hard place and a rock,
8, Glancing up at the sky,
7, Everyone as if petrify’,
6, Caught breath, suppressed sighs, controlled gasps,
5, Accounting for the calendar’s gaps,
4, Having run out of patience,
3, Adults no longer calm, Children no longer vivacious,
2, Waiting for the year to finally be over,
1, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

ANVI TUTEJA

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https://anvisthoughtscaught.wordpress.com/2021/01/01/bucket-list/
Bucket List, why’s that?
The idea was new to me,
Bucket List, why’s that?
Something I had never needed,
Bucket List, why’s that?
To define my reason to be,
Bucket List, why’s that?
But some nameless someone’s advice I heeded…

Bucket List, what’s that?
How do I go about it,
Bucket List, what’s that?
I haven’t got a clue,
Bucket List, what’s that?
Where to start, Where to quit,
Bucket List, what’s that?
About a thing to do,

Bucket List, how’s that?
With things of wonder,
Bucket List, how’s that?
Beyond my wildest imagination,
Bucket List, how’s that?
No more blunders,
Bucket List, how’s that?
I must sit in contemplation,

Bucket List, where’s that?
Somewhere exotic, perhaps?
Bucket List, where’s that?
Going rock climbing?
Bucket List, where’s that?
Going all the places on maps?
Bucket List, where’s that?
Ugh, which is the right timing?

Bucket List, which’s that?
Seeing a sunrise, from Machu Pichu,
Bucket List, which’s that?
Climbing up to Mt. Kilimanjaro,
Bucket List, which’s that?
Or talking to someone about my issues,
Bucket List, which’s that?
Or simply enjoying a better tomorrow?

Bucket List, when’s that?
I am too young to prophesize the future?
Bucket List, when’s that?
Is it dangerous to play with the fire of fate?
Bucket List, when’s that?
No, my own destiny I will suture,
Bucket List, when’s that?
It’s up to me whether I will be weak or great,

Bucket List, who’s that?
Shall I meet an old acquaintance?
Bucket List, who’s that?
Have a picnic with the whole family?
Bucket List, who’s that?
Visit an old friend, with full cadence?
Bucket List, who’s that?
Or the girl who looks like me, uncannily?

Bucket List, help me!
You are too complicated,
Bucket List, when will you be done, finally?
No, I don’t want to see all the royal families rated!
Bucket List, you’re finally over,
I have assigned all the numbers,
Bucket List, now all you need is a cover!
I can go back to my eternal slumber!

”Learning Morse Code, Speaking Latin,
Achieving my ideal weight,
On the runway, Wearing a dress of Satin,
Be more punctual, Never be late,
Doing Archery, Learning shooting,
Become a concert pianist,
The errors in our society need uprooting,
Swearing to always be honest,

Going Parasailing, Dying my hair,
Making a snowman,
Visiting an earthly place rare,
Stay away from the beach, don’t need a tan,
Flying First Class, Zooming in a helicopter,
Seeing the Northern Lights,
Go to Jurassic Park, maybe see a velociraptor,
Just being with friends, going to fly a kite,

Visiting a Volcano, Painting a portrait,
Observing the constellations in the night sky,
Paying my homage at the world-famous India gate,
Dancing at family weddings and some white lies,
Seeing the famed Mona Lisa,
Remarking at her lack of eyebrows,
Taking a selfie at the Tower of Pisa,
Seeing beautiful Orchids, neatly arranged in rows,

Going on a cruise, Folding a 1000 cranes,
Getting a little serious, becoming a doctor,
Hopefully always staying sane!
Do some geology, am a roctor!
See the beautiful cherry blossoms,
Visit Neuschwanstein and maybe put a lock,
Do Archeology, discover some fossils,
Finally, wash my lucky sock,

Ride a crazy insane roller coaster,
Hit a bull’s eye on a dartboard,
Take a job as a coffee roaster?
Drive around in a fancy Ford,
Lucky number thirteen,
Go on a random vacation,
Right now, I’m just fourteen,
There is no limit to my imagination!”

ANVI TUTEJA

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https://anvisthoughtscaught.wordpress.com/2021/01/01/when-i-look-into-the-mirror/
When I look into the mirror,
I see myself as but an actor,
When I look into the mirror,
I feel like a mortal, but mere-er,
When I look into the mirror,
Is it me I see, or someone dearer?

When I glance at my reflection,
I look like someone deep in thought, in contemplation,
When I glance at my reflection,
The raw light in me takes a deflection,
When I glance at my reflection,
I always have a fear of rejection,

When I peer into clear glass,
The ugliness inside of me, does amass,
When I peer into clear glass,
I see myself for who I really am, plainly crass,
When I peer into clear glass,
The truth is seen, greener than other-side grass,

When I view the perfectly-clear water,
I see myself as the perfect daughter,
When I view the perfectly-clear water,
The darkness within me, I do wish to slaughter,
When I view the perfectly-clear water,
I feel like a deserted marauder,

When I search for myself in the pure lenses,
Would I then, finally come to my senses?
When I search for myself in the pure lenses,
Will my soul finally take a consensus?
When I search for myself in the pure lenses,
Of who I am, behind all the pretenses?

When I look into the mirror,
I finally see myself, but clearer.

ANVI TUTEJA

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https://anvisthoughtscaught.wordpress.com/2021/01/01/thy-code-neu-felles-errantes/
All those who wander,

Are never truly lost,

However, fears I do not launder,

Everything comes at a cost,

Take, a peek, or two if you dare,

Though do not expect a welcome swell,

In fact, expect a few of snarl and glare,

For here, all kinds do dwell…

The horrors contained here, I do not sugarcoat,

Creatures, demons of all types,

Witches, traitors, liars, murderers, and turncoats,

Ones who’ll wait to eat, till you’re ripe,

I will no advice to be without fear,

For only fools and children are unscared,

Though I will say to not fear itself: fear,

Contrary to what popular opinion cared,

Now seven truths, I will give,

Never fear the dark, and what it may contain,

Never judge a person, by what they may misgive,

It is of utmost importance, A ledger you maintain,

For you must learn from sin and pay forgotten debt,

Never interfere in the natural order of life,

Else you must may the red price; three are now left,

Embrace, joy of the world, and swear to end all strife,

Be forever alone, as thy life may hold dear to the world,

To end with utmost importance,

For danger, dark and hate, no fear must you in your heart hold,

For there is light to be found, errantes, hidden perchance.

ANVI TUTEJA, ERRANTES

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https://anvisthoughtscaught.wordpress.com/2020/12/31/the-opportunity-of-a-life-time/
This was an opportunity of a lifetime, well, all of my eleven years at least!  I had been selected to speak at a TEDx event organized by Faculty of Management Studies, Delhi University.  The conference organizers had been so impressed with my robot building skills and my discussions on technology that they invited me as a speaker to share my ideas and perspectives on how the new technology can impact kids in the future.

I took a deep breath and calmed my nerves as I walked on stage for my TEDx talk. I knew what to say, I had been practicing all week. I remembered my parents’ instructions to talk slowly and make a joke if things go south but as I reached center stage all my confidence evaporated, my voice shook and all my anxiousness was as clear as day in my talk. I messed up the first line of the talk but my father’s proud face, my mother’s supportive one, my grandfather’s hopeful one and my grandmother’s happy face drove me to success. My confidence never wavered after that until the time my demonstration malfunctioned.  This time I remained calm and tried the demonstration again.  It was successful and was rewarded by loud applause.

I spoke with hope up until the end of my talk, when I took a pause and waited with bated breath for the audience’s verdict. The crowd gave me thunderous applause and a standing ovation. To my pleasant surprise, I was then requested to pull out a lucky draw to choose a winner and also received a token of appreciation from the Faculty of Management Services. I walked away with my confidence soaring, my pride strong and my dignity intact.

ANVI TUTEJA

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My Experience as a TEDx Speaker:

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Emerging Technologies in Digital Age | Anvi Tuteja | TEDxFMS

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https://anvisthoughtscaught.wordpress.com/2020/12/31/beauty-is-unity-in-diversity/
Diversity does not mean,

Everyone’s the same, in how we seem,

Diversity does not imply,

That we get together to celebrate or to cry,

Diversity does not promote,

Everyone painted with same coat,

No, Diversity-Unity, that is true,

But Unity does not mean, same goals, we will pursue,

Unity in Diversity, is life’s truest mantra,

Whether we believe in Jesus, Rama, Allah or even Santa!

Respecting each other’s differences, that is true joy,

Not making vicious comments or simply being coy,

The world is filled, with all kinds of races,

People from all cultures, religions, castes and graces,

Humans are not a box of perfectly matched 2B pencils,

Or a set of matched shiny utensils,

We are a bunch of mismatched sharpies,

But when one is threatened, we come together as an army,

We are all unique, but humanity is in our togetherness,

When God was doling out, he was very generous,

If He had intended, we would all be the one,

But we all stand under the same Sun,

Together, we can save the world,

Finally achieve the immortal-peace we have earned,

Learning from past mistakes,

The future is ours to take!

Nature does not discriminate,

State, colour and creed, it does not rate,

We are together and as forever such we shall remain,

Fighting together against pain, stain and bane!

Remember, Unity begins with You,

If not You, then Who?

ANVI TUTEJA

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https://anvisthoughtscaught.wordpress.com/2020/12/31/my-feelings-on-hospitals-series/
My Feelings on Hospitals I:
Hospitals have traditionally been described as places to receive treatment for medical ailments, maladies, wounds and as dispensaries of surgery and tests. The same treatments can be obtained from a witch’s cauldron, though I heartily hope you won’t consider it be a quick replacement to your local hospital.

Children’s books, however, describe hospitals as scary with lots of sharp instruments and painful treatments. Thus, every child grows up with natural impulse to hate the Doctor’s and that’s just before the needles start flashing.

Middle-Year Fiction for Teenagers describe hospitals as cold and dreary with desolate coloring, over cheery nurses who act like they’re just out of Pants on Fire and a store of old people and patients depressed about their life.

Movies based on Jane Austen’s novels which take place in the 1800s, show Doctor’s as completely inexperienced, with painful and useless torture methods…uh, I mean, cures, of course and being primarily and absolutely male. Which is no doubt a leading cause of their inexperience. That, and the fact medicinal practices were awfully outdated and that praying was the main hope for patients. Always remember, Satan takes his dues!

Hospitals. To me, a person who is prone to allergies and colds at the worst possible time, (for example: during a world wide epidemic of a virus with no cure) hospitals symbolize everything that could or could not, will or will not happen. It’s like a crossroads and I’m blindfolded and covered in a sack and blindly walking to what I hope is best. Of course, Hospitals can be good too, yes I’m serious. Every time I go to the Optician, I get a new power for new glasses, which is always fun. So Hospitals like almost everything in life are pro and con. The only question left to raise is, which aspect will you focus on?

So after all that, what really are hospitals? Are they all the things above or none of them? Take your time choosing. Me? I’m going to sit safely at home and spend my time groveling and praying to the gods for mercy against COVID-19. Happy 3rd Day of Navratri!
ANVI TUTEJA

My Feelings on Hospitals II:
In my last post, I spoke about how hospitals had been described. In the second part of this series, I would like to talk about my experience with Hospitals. After all, this is called ‘My Feelings on Hospitals.’

I personally have never been to a hospital (thank god), and I’m talking about a proper hospital. I have been to clinics a lot and I think my pediatrician is just about done with me, ’cause my medical file must be eating a lot of space on her tablet.
I have tons of allergies including dust (How on earth can you undust everything?), smoke (There goes my cooking career. Goodbye Masterchef!) and chlorine (Thanks a lot, dad. Now I can never have a real summer of fun because I can’t swim in chlorinated water, which just happens to be 90% of all water). But I don’t like to complain.

I have had a lot of interesting incidences. From tormenting black kernels of popcorn in noses leading to a traumatising instance with the doctor threatening to cut my nose off if I did not cooperate, (He actually said that! And he pointed to the guy outside his office with heavy bandages covering his entire nose. I was scared!) to me being extremely overenthusiastic (still true) to see my mother after school leading to an extremely painful and embarrassing accident with me rolling down two flights of stairs (i’m not really still into that) and ending with bleeding knees in the backseat of a car.

Don’t worry, I’m alright even if I still have the scars to prove it. (wink) I could regale you with multiple anecdotes of my narrow misses of death (brushes invisible speck of dust off shoulder) but this post is not about that. (also, do you think I should? make a post about that I mean? never mind, I’m getting off-topic)

The point of all of my incessant rambling is, Hospitals can be amazing! They symbolise hope and cure and all of the developments of the 21st century (as opposed to Jane Austen’s 19th century). They save lives and hey, anyone who gives out free desk candy, is okay in my book.

And just like the previous post of this series, I’m ending this with a thought. Do you think hospitals symbolise hope or are they just a painful and cruel reminder to all those who loved the people medicine just couldn’t save? Ponder on that and I’ve given the English teachers something to make all you lazybones write about. Sorry, I did mention I sold out for fame and freedom, right?
ANVI TUTEJA

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https://anvisthoughtscaught.wordpress.com/2020/12/31/prisoner/
I have become a prisoner in my own home,

Confined, there is no where I can roam,

I fear, I will spend an eternity alone,

It seems, far too many a loan,

From mother nature dear,

Now, it has come to pass; Our greatest fear!

I feel trapped in the soul of my own,

Any rash behaviour, I do not and never will condone,

Beyond these 4 walls, I cannot hope to see,

I feel my sanity, slowly moving away,

Drop-by-Drop, Inch-by-Inch, Like an inky black shadow that cannot hope to stay!

ANVI TUTEJA

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https://anvisthoughtscaught.wordpress.com/2020/12/31/higher-power-series/
Higher Power I:
Am I lied to?
Is there some higher power I can cry to?
What’s behind those smiles?
Feeling like a puppet to your wiles,
Tell me now, to my face,
Will I ever be first in the race?
ANVI TUTEJA

Higher Power II:
would you care?
if i never said another word,
would you care?
if i never wrote another verse,
would you care?
if i never played another note,
would you care?
if i never sang another tune,
would you care?
ANVI TUTEJA

Higher Power III:
Every action monitored,
Like everything I did mattered,
Well, I’m flattered,
But the challenges have left me battered,
So as I lay here with my dying breath,
I embrace you with open arms: death,
Because whatever tortures you have waiting in your hells,
Are nothing compared to the nightmares of being myself.
ANVI TUTEJA

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https://anvisthoughtscaught.wordpress.com/2020/12/30/it-all-made-sense-to-me/
When you showed up at my door,
In the cold October snow,
With the dimples on your cheek,
And the freckles on your chin,
It All Made Sense To Me,

When you showed up in the rain,
In my apartment b’hind the lane,
With a trembling little puppy,
And your sun-kissed drenched skin,
It All Made Sense To Me,

When you showed up with your mother,
In the scorching hot Virginia summer,
With your cheeky-little smile,
And your scrunched-up bunchy brows,
It All Made Sense To Me,

When you showed up in the storm,
With your sister in my dorm,
With you sparkling bright-green eyes,
And your dark tanned skin,
It All Made Sense To Me,

And then I showed up in the spring,
With a velvet box and a ring,
It All Made Sense To Me,
Yeah, It All Made Sense To Me,
‘Cause we were meant to be.
ANVI TUTEJA

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https://anvisthoughtscaught.wordpress.com/2020/12/30/opposites-attract/
The sun to my moon,
The order to my chaos,
The ying to my yang,
We were closer than close,
At our worst we were better than most,

It happened in a flash, just way too soon,
We were together on a sun-kissed dais,
Then as the twelfth chime rang,
You melted into dust, in neat little rows,
And I stood there dumb-founded, pondering what I had just lost,

The Ma’at to my Isfet,
The North to my South,
The Sea to my Sky,
I can’t be with you, and it hurts to let you go,
But you’ll always have a piece of, you’ll always have a piece of my heart,

Thought I was all set,
Not a single sound escaped my mouth,
If you asked me to know if I was fine, I’d lie,
I would’ve swam all the oceans just at your say so,
It happened in a flash, like a shot from a poison dart,

The good to my bad,
The calm to my storm,
The law to my anarchy.
ANVI TUTEJA

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https://anvisthoughtscaught.wordpress.com/2021/02/01/forevermore/
Two companion pieces, Lonely and Remember, highlight a listless tale of sorrow as they quantify a hard truth of life: the fact that not all stories end in happiness.

Lonely:
I wandered lonely as a cloud,
No one there for miles around,
Not a single soul in an abandoned field,
The only one left in a bad crop yield,
I’m here all alone, right where you left me,
Waitin’ for you, but you’ve gone to the place I just can’t see,

I know it’s a better place,
But why did you have to go first in the race?
Now I’m left here all alone,
It happened sooner than I could’ve known,
Life goes on, Time isn’t waiting for no one,
And now the deed’s been done,
I guess all hope’s not yet lost,
But everything comes at a cost,
I just didn’t except it to be so heavy,
A price higher than I was willing to pay to their levy,

Usually life takes more than it gives,
But today it’s given me something,
A chance to be more than the monster they made me.
ANVI TUTEJA

Remember:
Inspiration comes when it comes,
Nothing to be done about it,
It’s not me it’s them,
So Remember,
Remember me,
Remember my stories,
Remember my laughs,
Remember my poems,
Remember my gasps,
Remember, Because it’s the last time you’ll be seeing me,

My brain thinks faster than I can write,
How fast can my fingers type?
So Remember,
Remember me,
Remember my power,
Remember my greed,
Remember my whispers,
Remember my dreams,
Remember, Because it’s the last time you’ll be seeing me.
ANVI TUTEJA

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https://anvisthoughtscaught.wordpress.com/2020/12/30/feelings-are-a-fiend/
We come into this world with nothing,
Over the course of our life, we become something,
When it’s the final battle though,
We leave this world with nothing,
Life is all about change, versatility,
But what good is all that effort,
If we are to be just to be mixed with dirt,
Why do we force ourselves to work for a useless mentality?
Humans are a crazy bunch,
We kill, murder and assassinate,
But we are overcome by a useless urge,
We feel guilt, remorse and penitence,
Its all just a crazy hunch,
But we act before its too late,
We have a sudden surge,
To do the right thing and then pay the penance,
If we had no such feelings,
Where would we be today,
The universe’s kings,
Surely not hiding from power, at the end of the day,
We have the potential,
We have the power,
We just lack the potential,
Not for long…HAIL HYDRA!
ANVI TUTEJA

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https://anvisthoughtscaught.wordpress.com/2020/12/30/price-of-pain/
You think you know pain?
I will make you long for something sweet as pain!
Its so hard to stay sane,
It crawls inside my soul,
Like walking on hot coals,
Breaks me from inside,
Like a stabbing in my side,
Its been a bumpy ride,
I'm numb from all the ice on my wounds,
Blood does me surround,
Lying in a pool of salty red,
But I'm not dead yet,
They make sure of that,
This is just making me mad,
It snaps the synapses of my brain,
My blood does all around me rain,
There is no escape,
I’m so out of shape!
I’m not getting out of here alive,
I’m more dead than alive, either way,
I don’t know what to say,
But I just know, I could do this all day!
ANVI TUTEJA

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https://anvisthoughtscaught.wordpress.com/2020/12/30/christmas/
Today is a joyous day,
Of hope and cheer and of merry,
The wreaths on the doors,
And trees decorated and shiny,

Christmas is a time for celebration,
Of twinkling lights and ornaments fair,
To be safe with our loved ones,
A shelter from this wintry storm,

See the pretty snowflakes falling,
Look into the gardens,
Where the grass that ‘twas green,
No longer a blade is to be seen,

May this Christmas be the first of many,
When we celebrate all that we have got,
And in our love there is an instance of forever,
The sense of being home when we’re together!
ANVI TUTEJA

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https://anvisthoughtscaught.wordpress.com/
As an Avid Blogger, I, Anvi Tuteja, am two parts enthusiastic writer, one part sarcastic snake, one part anguished student, and one part aspirant philosopher. Too many parts?

This is a collection of poems, write-ups, short stories and reviews. This is all my personal work.  No offense is meant from my work of any kind to persons of any caste, religion, section, class or state.
ANVI TUTEJA