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Anonymity is liberating, and people's honesty inspires connection

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Talking about experiences at a higher level (saving for a goal, complaining about high rent, etc) that everyone can relate to without talking about specific numbers

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Putting assumptions out there and discussing them without judgement

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No cross-talk. As everyone shares, you realize that these are universal feelings and there's no need for shame.

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Talking about broader life events in a close relationship, as a lead-in to talking about money

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I'm careful because I don't want to seem like an authority figure. Makes suggestions.

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People may find it hard to approach and converse with someone they think is struggling with money.

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People may find it hard to approach and converse with someone they think is struggling with money.

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People don't have a precedent for how to talk to kids about money

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People don't have a precedent for how to talk to kids about money

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Because it didn't come up a lot in their childhoods

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People use money as a benchmark to compare themselves to others 

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People use money as a benchmark to compare themselves to others 

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People may talk more openly when they need advice

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People may talk more openly when they need advice

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People are aware that money can be used to categorize them

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People are aware that money can be used to categorize them

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I was happy for my friend when she got a salary raise. I love her.

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I had to explain why we couldn't go out to eat all the time during financial hard time, so I told them.

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It feels like a private converstaion with people you know well, like parents, family. She doesn't feel comfortable talking with friends about money.

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If they're making 5x more than us, I would feel a little awkward. But I don't feel comfortable with them like I do with other friends.

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Both I and my friends have always struggled with money in some ways. In a way that's good— we've bonded.

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People use money to help categorize one another 

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People use money to help categorize one another 

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The friends I talk to about money I can talk to anything about. I know they won't judge me.

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Sometimes it's hard not to share concrete financial ideas. Like you spend so much time dancing around the details. I just want to say, "Spit it out. It doesn't matter."

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"I didn't know how to react. I just said everything would be okay"

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I want to talk about these things with my friends, not strangers, because I know they have similar lifestyles. A stranger, I wouldn't know what their priorities are and if I have similar priorities.

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I want to live a similar lifestyle as my friends.

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As we get closer to retirement, I want to understand more what other people are doing.

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MY sister never tells me what she or her kids make. I had to look up their house on Zillow.

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I don't feel that comfortable. Just with my husband. It's kind of personal. If I were having money problems maybe I would go to a financial advisor and talk to them. But, it's kind of personal.

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Recurring relationship when they feel like they can trust me.

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"Discussing money can change an interpersonal connection. It can take the relationship in a different direction that you might not be ready for"

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About more freely talking about money: "You have a more realistic sense of the world, and learn more from other people's wisdom."

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It's harder to understand people's needs when the process is informal. At my last job, I had a list of questions/form to ask them specific finance questions. And this job, it's open-ended and it feels more subjective. That makes me uncomfortable.

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I try to empower them. Tell them we're going to make sense of their situation.

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How much you make and whether you're financially successful is tied to self worth

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How much you make and whether you're financially successful is tied to self worth

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Don't ask how much people make. Premise in this country that you're paid what you're worth. It's not a fair perception, but it can creep in.

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"Thought it was really brave of this person to share their financial struggle with me"

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Sometimes it's questions if someone really needs aid. But I have to remember that it's really brave for them to come to me. It's embarrassing. So yah, they probably need help.

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Some wish they could be more direct in the way they talk about money.

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It's really awkward to ask questions and probe. I try to establish trust. "Listen, if you need help, I need you to trust me. And part ofthat trusting me is I'm goign to ask you deep, uncfomfortable questions. And I'm going to use that information to help you."

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Parents would say "You don't need to know about that. That's for adults to talk about"

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Gossiping about people's money habits can be fun.

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It would be nice to break down the cultural perception of "you are what you make"

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I ask questions around other areas in their life. Like if they're low-income and not bathing, I might talk about something like puberty and ask them things like "Your body is changing, what do you do to keep yourself clean?" and sometimes I learn that they don't have running water.

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Friends and acquaintances may talk about money but in general terms (like rent being too high)

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I tag team with the nurse. She asks questions about their health and tells me if anything points to financial problems.

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In some countries (like in eastern Europe) what you make is not tied to self worth like it is here.

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Our counselor calls every family that is on free-and-reduced lunch and probes if they may need more financial assistance. The lunch point is a starting place.

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Personal wealth feels like disclosing personal health information

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Sometimes parents will come to me and say they need help. Other times I notice if a kid seems like they haven't bathed, is wearing the same thing every day. It shows that there might be problems at home.

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It's very difficult to avoid blame in this culture, it's easy to think "she should have done better".

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How do I determine who's the neediest of the needy? What's the criteria?

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There are layers of financial assessment that happen instantly