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Hi Katie,
I think your experience of acting like you were older as a teenager is really not that uncommon for teens. Sadly, despite all our warning of the dangers of Internet predators, teens are still very curious and still opt to explore the "taboo" things that they are supposed to stay away from. I think no matter how many restrictions and safety protocols parents put in place on their children's technology, I think we still do see many problems with teens being able to access technology. Another thing your post made me think of was human trafficking. I think putting information out there about where they are at all times makes teens at such a danger for such horrible things as this.

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Hi Theresa,
I remember being in college and seeing students wait in line just for a chance to use the Internet in the computer lab. We had access to email from our dorm rooms, but the Internet was so new back in 1994 that you had to use the university's server in order to access it. Nowadays, everyone has access to all of this social media, with nothing to monitor their usage. I remember using AIM to talk to people back in the day too, and I remember having random people try to chat with you. I always wondered about how we can control access for children to some of what is posted out there. Your link to the movie made me think about how parents can put restrictions on their child's account for any X or R rated material, but I also wonder how easy it is for us to monitor sites like YouTube, that often post almost pornographic material. I think kids have way too much access to way too many people!

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I am glad you were able to watch "Call Me Lucky" on Netflix. I was shocked by the section about the early days of AOL and Barry's advocacy was tremendous. The internet can definitely be a scary place.

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Children and teenagers are able to be whomever they want to be when they are online. According to Sherry Turkle, they are truly able to present their “best selves” when they are online as opposed to their true selves that they would present in real life. They do not worry about whom they are talking to when online, nor do they think about why it is important to portray a true sense of self to other people. If they can be anyone they want to be, why can’t other people be whomever they want too, and why should that matter to them? It is their way to rebel against the dictions of the adults in their lives without repercussions, at least as far as they are aware. Danah Boyd says, “They turned to social media to reclaim some semblance of control over their social worlds” instead of simply following the orders and commands given by the adults in the teens’ lives. When I was in my upper teen years, AOL chat groups were popular, so I would go on different group sites to chat with various people. I would pretend to be older than I actually was to see what men would say to me (out of curiosity). I did this despite my parents’ repeated directions not to do so because I did not know whom I would wind up talking to. I was lucky that nothing ever happened to me, but I am well aware that not everyone is as lucky.

There is a risk of encountering sexual predators both in real life and online. The difference is that sexual predators can pretend to be anyone they want to be when they are online in order to attract the type of person they prefer. They will trick unsuspecting innocent people into meeting them in person by pretending to be sweet and kind people online, and then they will be able to do whatever they choose. Therefore, it is key that children and teenagers are taught how to be constantly vigilant when they are online; and if they are going to meet someone from the internet in person, they need to understand that the meeting must occur in a public place.

Danah Boyd states, “It’s important to remember how many people are failed by, if not outright abused by, the system” when it comes to children being sexually exploited for commercial gain, even sometimes by their own parents. This means that it is even more essential for educators and responsible family members to teach children and teenagers how to protect themselves from sexual predators and the dangers of acts like sexting and cyberbullying. Adults need to discuss what signs to watch for online that could signal that someone is not whom he/she says he/she is, how it is essential never to send money to strangers met only online, and how what someone says online is actually stored in cyberspace so you need to be cautious of what you say and how you present yourself even if you think it is simply in a private message to a friend. Adults need to explain why it is unacceptable to participate in cyberbullying, the repercussions for both the bully and the bullied in instances of cyberbullying, and what to do if someone is cyberbullying you. If adults take ownership of teaching children and teenagers about responsible and acceptable online behavior, perhaps our future generations will not know the pain of cat-phishing and cyberbullying or be denied jobs or college admissions due to inappropriate behavior on social media websites.

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Great movie, TMC. They touched on AOL enabling the first porn rings because they were making a killing off the service usage. I also appreciate the insights to the political process on changing child sexual assault and pedophilia laws, especially as it relates to online content and illegal facilitation. Crimmins case against AOL and his presentation to the senatorial committee was superb. The "Three Strikes Rule," what a joke. Is that how the law works: three times after you commit a heinous crime you get arrested. Well, maybe for white men. Perhaps AOL had a pretty good handle on how the law works after all.

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Hey TMC,

Where can I find this movie? What an excellent subject. This kind of plays into my theory about the role of the public or the role of the bystander in fighting for/defending the underdog, underprivedged and voiceless. Teens are supremely vulnerable, inspite of their tendencies to be ruthless and mean to one another. I'd almost venture to say we should protect them from themselves as much as others.

What role do we play as defenders of what is right, moral and just? As teachers, when is it our responsibility to step in for students against parents, admin, or other power-holders. There's a new Race to Nowhere movie about the detriment of assessments that I'm eager to see.
It's at a local theater--if anyone is interested I can find out where. It doesn't directly deal with cyber issues but it does a good job to evaluate the impact of testing on kids well being. It falls in perfectly with Josh Katz rant on my Padlet board. He might be my new hero.

I like the level of severity and interception local law enforcement treats cyber bullying and predators. The baiting and entrapment of perpetrators is some of the best I've seen. Through whatever means necessary.

I went to a wonderful workshop last summer on trafficking in the US--something we consider a foreign issue but is rampant here in our own country. Upper and Middle class males are the largest buyers , especially of children being trafficked and sexually exploited. We asked ourselves and the speaker: what role do online credit card transmitting companies play? If they don't take money for nefarious transactions would it not slow the rate of trafficking. Sex trafficking of children takes place almost exclusively online now, on passcode protected sites and fronts. CC companies offer their services for these transactions and they make a cut. Business is booming. People say cut off the buyer and the problem will go away but the white American male is granted immunity in virtually all instances of criminal offense--especially that of lesser priority such as the violation of children.

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TMC - MySpace...the gateway drug of Social Media

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TMC - MySpace...the gateway drug of Social Media

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I remember the early days of MySpace, where you could rank your friends in order of importance. Anyway, I also remember...the early days of AIM and the birth of chat rooms. Yikes! The internet can be a scary place and schools are looked upon to be the great mediator of all things that take place on the internet. You guys will like my book review of "Sticks and Stones" by Emily Bazelon next week. It was a great book.

I love the idea of the bystander and teaching compassion and celebrating differences. How brave of your student, Katy to still grow out his hair despite being mocked. It is so important. The private special education school I worked at as the Guidance Coordinator, some of those students had been so badly bullied, it was heartbreaking. Many of them had made suicide attempts and still exhibited suicidal ideation and gestures.

Also if anyone has time, watch the documentary "Call me Lucky" on Netflix. Comedian Barry Crimmins was influential in getting the original sexual predators laws passed against AOL. It was a fascinating story.

Here is the trailer...

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Call Me Lucky - Official Trailer - (2015)

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http://www.callmeluckymovie.com Barry Crimmins was a volatile but brilliant comic who became an honored peace activist and influential political satirist. Famous comedians and others build a picture of a man who underwent an incredible transformation.

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The Introduction of Anti-Bullying Curriculum.

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The Introduction of Anti-Bullying Curriculum.

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Kristin, I really appreciated your thoughts and the article you shared. I think the issue of cyber-bullying is so prevalent among teens today that we haven't even begun to touch upon the impact it is having on the self-worth of so many of our adolescents. We are currently spending a lot of time at my school working on an anti-bullying curriculum in our advisories and in health class. We watch videos, read books, act out role-playing situations, and have in-depth discussions with our students about bullying that they have faced in the past, and also possible situations that they could encounter. We discuss the importance of speaking up for others when you have witnessed bullying. We mention that it is just as bad to stay silent as it is to be one of the people bullying. Students discuss how it makes them feel when they see someone that is different from them, and what actions they should take in these situations. A few years ago, one of my students was being bullied because he decided to grow his hair long so he could give it to Locks for Love. He was being told he looked "like a girl" both in person and in social media. He had trouble making friends his fifth grade year and was really struggling. He dreaded coming to school. The whole reason he had decided to grow his hair was because he had lost one of the closest people in his life to him, his grandfather, to a fast-moving type of cancer, and he wanted to help out in some way. I worked with him to create an online presentation and he, as a 10 year old, ended up presenting his journey to grow his hair and about the organization Locks for Love, to an entire middle school population, including some 8th graders! After this day, he really shone and other students gained respect for what he was doing. He came out of this experience with a ton of new friends. He and I were also interviewed for the city's paper, the Lowell Sun, and we were honored at a local Rotary Club event. This is one of my proudest moments in teaching, because it really showed me that educating ignorance was so important. I think much of the cyber bullying that we see is in fact coming from a place of deep ignorance and also fear. People are afraid to stand up for themselves, and to stand up for others. Teens especially are afraid to be labeled "different" and rightly so. By teaching tolerance and understanding, and also helping students to understand the implications of their actions, we can help to alleviate some of the cyber-bullying that is out there, but not all. One of the dangers of our online, virtual world is this sense of false bravery to go out there and bully others that you may never say anything to in person. The "anonymity" we feel behind a computer screen seems to give us this false bravery.

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What the Internet is Like in the Hands (and Minds) of Teens

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What the Internet is Like in the Hands (and Minds) of Teens

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I've been preoccupied with the influences of social media and online persona on our identities since AOL sprang up in the 1990's. From our screen names and handles to our choice of speech (emoticons, shorthand, acronyms and abbreviations) to what we choose to reveal about ourselves and in what contexts, everything we put online seemed connected to an identity crisis that spawned from the gap between who we really are and who we want to be. In my opinion, it doesn't appear to end when adolescence does.

As I read through a variety of books during undergrad on relational bullying, girlhood, the masks we live in, and the effects of media on young women and men, I began to feel consumed by the idea that we were being preyed upon, even when we played the predator. The internet made access to damaging content and imagery infinitely abundant. We can see starving women dubbed beautiful. Modified bodies, enhanced body parts coined as perfection. As an adult, this is an attack on our logic, on our sensibility; to a growing mind--this logic is sound; it's prevalence creates the norm.

I remember being in high school and observing young women (and men) of all social groups struggling to be seen, heard, and acknowledged, especially by the dominant members. They wanted to belong, even if it meant being in the lowest caste of the hierarchy. I imagine they needed to feel accepted--they needed their choices approved by power-holding peers. Most importantly, they didn't want to feel alone. The herd mentality governed much our school's social dynamics. People were afraid to be independent if it meant compromising some form of status, clout, or protection. The internet provided the promise of independence to those who wanted freedom from rank and file but couldn't handle the loneliness and vulnerability that came with it. As long as they could maintain anonymity online, independence felt safe. In reality, nothing about true independence is safe. The very concept derives from risk-taking and a reliance on oneself versus social safety nets. With independence comes a certain level of power. Power, and attention, for which so many in the school were vying, become attainable online. For individuals not used to having any, this medium offered them a stake in a virtual environment without consequences but with the feeling of importance. Like anyone who isn't used to having power, it can be hard to wield it without abusing people around you. When you are not confronted with the ramifications of your actions, it's not only empowering, it's aggrandizing.

I thought this article touched upon the ways teen internet used can escalate to some harmful and lasting life choices. One thing that I believe has improved in schools is the use of the bystander as a moderator in the environment. How students engage, as I noted above, is largely based on the perceptions individuals have about how other students will react. Since online bullying often occurs without any bystander intervention, we probably need to be even more vigilant about creating communities (online or otherwise), where compassion and peer mediation are both taught and celebrated.

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It's time to combat cyber bullying, and the devastating affects it's having on our children.

Last Labor Day, while millions of Americans were firing up their barbeques to enjoy the last weekend of summer, a nightmare was unfolding in the town of Saratoga, California. Fifteen-year-old Audrie Pott was at a party with her classmates (though, notably, without adult supervision) when she was sexually assaulted by three boys she had considered her friends while she was under the influence of alcohol.

The sheer horror of sexual assault is enough to fracture the psyche of a teenage girl; but it was exacerbated by the fact that pictures of the attack then found their way onto the Internet, where they were viewed by her classmates, her friends, and her family. Eight days later, overwhelmed with grief, humiliation, and the torment of knowing that this vicious attack had been made public for all to see, this beautiful, smart, capable young woman, whose entire life was still ahead of her, committed suicide.

This horrible situation would have been tragic enough had it been an isolated incident -- one that is relatively uncommon in our society, and which stands out because of its rarity. But when it comes to relational aggression online, the sad truth is that every day, thousands of teenagers are victimized by cyber bullies who rob them of their personal dignity and sense of self worth. When the emotional and physical trauma of sexual assault is compounded by the effects of cyber bullying, the result too often has been teenaged victims who take their own lives.

It is difficult to imagine the pain that Audrie must have endured in the days leading up to her suicide. Unless and until our society recognizes cyber bullying for what it is, the suffering of thousands of silent victims will continue.

In most cases, these cruel acts are carried out by the very people whom the victims feel closest to and whose opinions matter to them the most: their friends and classmates. The traumatizing effects of cyber bullying on the emotional wellbeing of teenagers are becoming increasingly clear in our society. It leaves its victims wounded in ways that are impossible to see and difficult to heal.

Cyber bullies can hide behind a mask of anonymity online, and do not need direct physical access to their victims to do unimaginable harm. The ease with which disgusting pictures of what was, in fact, a criminal offense, were spread online demonstrates the urgent need for action. Instead of contacting the police or trying to help Audrie, viewers simply kept forwarding and commenting on these gruesome images. This makes it possible for cyber bullies to torment their victims on a nearly constant basis -- leaving no escape from the trauma, no refuge from the bullies, and no sense of safety.

At Girl Scouts, we are committed to raising awareness about the terrible effects of cyber bullying, and to teaching girls how to recognize the signs of bullying of any sort and extricate themselves or another from a bad situation before it spirals out of control and ends in tragedy. By arming girls with the skills, foresight and confidence they need to identify and confront bullying behavior, we create a world of engaged leaders who refuse to be victimized or to sit idly by while another suffers.

Our BFF (Be a Friend First) initiative teaches middle school girls relational and leadership skills to stop bullying behavior when it happens and prevent it from happening in the first place. BFF uses role playing, creative writing, games, quizzes and discussion exercises through which girls explore challenging issues online and off, like peer pressure, stereotyping, gossip, and cliques. As part of BFF, girls also identify their own community's needs on bullying to create and lead projects in their schools and communities to tackle region-specific issues.

A new generation of digital natives, youth who never knew a world without the Internet, are coming of age. But like driving a car, using the Internet can be a dangerous activity if we are not teaching our kids how to use it responsibly. What gets posted online is not short term, and is open for easy misinterpretation. Messages and pictures spread faster through the Internet than they ever could by word of mouth. Kids need to learn that if they would not say something out loud, they should not say it on the Web either, where the effects can be compounded many times over by the spread of data virally across social media platforms.

Girls are particularly susceptible to cyber bullying. They spend more time online than boys, and are perhaps more likely to take to heart comments made by others in the digital space. BFF offers a holistic approach to confronting cyber bullying, by encouraging girls to behave respectfully online and off. Adults in girls' lives are also encouraged to be as aware of their daughters' online world as they are her real world. That includes knowing who their daughter is with and where she is going in cyberspace, as well as how all of her relationships may be affecting her.

The true tragedy of the suicide of Audrie Pott is how isolated she obviously felt. Kids need to know that they have an outlet for their feelings; friends, parents, teachers and others who are there to help them, and who will provide a vital, insulating support system from the plague of online bullying. Our schools and communities must address relational aggression (which includes cyber-bullying) as seriously as it has "traditional" school yard bullying in the past; and understand that it requires a different type of intervention.

As the CEO of the premiere leadership organization in the world for girls, I am calling on all Americans to step in and step up. That you might be less knowledgeable in the digital space as an adult should not deter you from living in that space with your daughter. Each of us must take ownership of the online safety and wellbeing of our daughters, by calling out and confronting bullying behavior wherever we see it. Engaging in the online lives of our children, and joining Girl Scouts everywhere in being a friend first.

Before one more precious life is lost forever.

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Confronting Cyber Violence in the Digital Age

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It's time to combat cyber bullying, and the devastating affects it's having on our children. Last Labor Day, while millions of Americans were firing up their barbeques to enjoy the last weekend of summer, a nightmare was unfolding in the town of Saratoga, California.

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danah boyd and the Safety of Social Media.

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danah boyd and the Safety of Social Media.

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How has the Internet and digital media created an environment that give children and teens a false sense of security? Is the risk of sexual predators as prevalent as we hear about in the news and media? How can parents protect their children from sexual predators and other dangers such as sexting and cyberbullying?