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Consultation - Second video Draft

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Class Critique and feedback - Self/peer-evaluation

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The Here After

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TASK:
1. Write your Story
2. Moodboard

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https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1bcDfjv1JLTwu83UhpxLKLKu9G7_2m9-vRnhfouD_Btg/edit?usp=sharing

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UPDATED (Shih Ching)

Logline:
The man was a lost soul who woke up and found himself in the cemetery with cherry blossom archways which looked familiar to him. That made him think his family could be here as the place looked like Japan (where he came from) but a voice behind him tells him he is in Singapore. He turned around only to see a spirit who wanted to help guide him to his next life. However, the lost soul was angry and in disbelief, he tried to fight and threaten the spirit as he suspects it was hiding something... Will he be able to uncover the truth about his own life (and his family)

Protagonist objective: To be able to reunite with his family

Story Analysis:

Concept of film: What if a Japanese man (the lost soul) met a spirit, who told him that he had been a prisoner-of-war in the past?

Dramatic tension: The spirit wants to guide the lost soul to his next life but the soul was very confused as he was in disbelief that he was dead.

Hero Empathy: Will the lost soul accept his fate and allow the spirit to guide him to his afterlife.

Vicarious experience: What is it like to become a lost soul from the past, wandering around a cemetery during the present era?

Inciting Incident:

A voice behind the man told him that he is in Singapore, not Japan.

1st Plot Point:

The spirit told him that he was dead and that he'll be moving on to his afterlife.

Mid Point:

The lost soul was deeply confused as he believed the voice was hiding some truth.

2nd Plot Point:

The spirit guide explained the lost soul’s circumstances

Climax:

The lost soul became cooperative with the spirit guide

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TASK: 40-60s documentary-style interview / short video with A roll/B-roll

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FILMING + FIRST VIDEO DRAFT

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Logline:

Fiction

- a one-paragraph logline of your story, describing the
(i) protagonist’s main characterization,
(ii) protagonist’s main story objective, and
(iii) main conflict

Story Analysis

Draft script (90 seconds video- 210-220 words)

Voice Recording: Take reading speeds and pauses into consideration

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Roles for editing: ( Feel free to swap roles if yall wish )

Hadi- Compose music, VFX, can oversee editing

Amelia- Help with Rough cuts, SFX, compiling of shots

Yi Siang- Help with SFX

Wei Hong- Voiceover, help Hadi with music

Shih Ching- SFX, subtitles, Can help oversee editing too

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When we were at the Japanese cemetery, we noticed numerous graves that are unnamed. Graves that belong to the well-known figures have their names inscribed on it.

Beautiful garden and blossom inspired from the ancient Japanese era.

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Based on research (That we could incorporate into story):

Tombs of well-known people: The tomb of Hisaichi Terauchi, the commander of the Japanese forces in Southeast Asia can be found in the cemetery.

monuments of notable figures such as Yamamoto Otokichi, the first Japanese to live in Singapore.

Unnamed tombs (Lost souls)

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**Done by Shih Ching

Features/ culture/ history of the place:

burial ground of Singapore’s early Japanese community.

1. Quaint Japanese architecture, this tranquil park could whisk one to Japan with its zen-like surroundings.

2. Style of architecture/ tombs: The cemetery later grew to include the tombs of these people. As the community became wealthier, the architecture of the tombs took on more ornate and elaborate styles. Design features included stone sculptures of Jizo (a Japanese deity) or Corinthian-styled columns. Plots were also demarcated with fences and gates.

3. WORLD WAR II: the darkest moment in history is the Japanese Occupation of 1942-1945. Within the Japanese Cemetery Park,  there are shrines dedicated to their soldiers – especially those who took their lives after the surrender to Allied forces.

Tombs of well-known people: The tomb of Hisaichi Terauchi, the commander of the Japanese forces in Southeast Asia can be found in the cemetery.

4. There are more opulent monuments commemorating notable figures such as Yamamoto Otokichi, the first Japanese to live in Singapore.

5. Sakuras found there which no other places in Singapore have

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During World War II the cemetery was used to bury civilians and soldiers who lost their lives on the battlefield or to illness.

Over the years, other Japanese civilians were buried here, mostly during the pre-war years and World War II. The cemetery was a burial ground until 1947. After the British repatriated all the Japanese in 1948, no Japanese were allowed back into Singapore or Malaya for fear of their war past. This became a memorial park in 1987. The Japanese Association of Singapore oversees its upkeep.

The well-kept park also holds the ashes of Japanese soldiers, marines, and airmen killed during World War II, as well as the remains of Japanese war criminals who were executed at Changi Prison.

Anti-Japanese

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Jizo (Japanese deity of unborn souls and children who die before reaching adulthood. Called mizuko, or “water children,” this group includes children who are stillborn, miscarried, or aborted, or who die before their parents for any reason)

Cemetery has Heritage Trees, which are like rubber trees, which have been around since the park was still a rubber plantation, along with a lychee tree – one that’s commonly found in Japan but is unable to fruit in Singapore’s climate.

Among the 910 tombs at the Japanese Cemetery Park, there are two Chinese graves. The graves belong to the caretakers of the Cemetery Park – one was the older brother of the other.

The smaller graves in the cemetery mostly belong to destitute Japanese prostitutes who died in Singapore, called karayuki-san, which means “women who have gone overseas”.

In the vicinity of these stone markers is a memorial for the Japanese who died in POW camps in Singapore, Johor, and the Riau Archipelago. Japanese war veterans have also commissioned and contributed a number of memorials. They include monuments for the 4th and 5th Guards Regiments who were part of the siege of Singapore.

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Mc thinks: "ここはどこ? 痛い... 桜？ 私は日本に戻っていますか？
Koko wa doko? Itai... Sakura? Watashi Nihon ni modotte imasu ka?
"Where am I? Ouch... Am I back in japan?"

Sn: "あなたはシンガポールにいます"
Anata wa shingapōru ni imasu
"You are in Singapore."

Mc screams: "ああああ, あんた誰だ?!
AHHHHHH, ANTA DAREDA?!
"AHHHHH, WHO ARE YOU?"

Sn: "いろんなことができる, とにかく, あなたは死んでなりました.'
Iron'na koto ga dekiru, Tonikaku, Anata wa shinde narimashita.
"I can do a lot of things, but anyways, You are dead

Mc: "私は… 私は死んでいる？でも... でも私の家族は？ 約束したんだ…"
Watashi wa… watashi wa shinde iru? Demo... Demo watashi no kazoku wa? Yakusoku shita nda…
"I'm... I'm dead? But... but what about my family? I made a promise..."

Sn: "ああ、あなたの家族？心配ありません、彼らは安全で次の人生に移りました、すぐに彼らと一緒にいるでしょう"
Ā, anata no kazoku? Shinpai irimasen, karera wa anzende tsugi no jinsei ni utsurimashita, sugu ni karera to issho ni irudeshou.
"Oh, your family? Oh No worries, they are safe and have moved on to the next life, you will be with them soon."

Mc: "そうですか?"
S-Sōdesu ka?
"Is that so?"

Mc: "ああ、ありがとう？しかし、私はどこにいますか？"
Ā, arigatō? Shikashi, watashi wa doko ni imasu ka?
"Ah, thank you? But, where am I?"

Sn:"お, シンガポールの戦争記念碑, 日本兵はここに埋葬された. 彼らの墓は今でも保存されています"
O, shingapōru no sensō kinenhi, Nihonhei wa koko ni maisō sa reta. Karera no haka wa ima demo hozon sa rete imasu
"Oh, youre in the Singapore war memorial, japanese soldiers are buried here. Their graves are still preserved to this day."

Mc:"それはすばらしい, 待って、あなたは何ですか？"
Sore wa subarashī, Matte, anata wa nanidesu ka?
"Thats wonderful, wait, what are you?"

Sn: "あたし？私は死神です、私は魂を死後の世界に導きます. でもあなたの魂は特別です"
Atashi? Watashi wa shinigamidesu, watashi wa tamashī o shigo no sekai ni michibikimasu. Demo anata no tamashī wa tokubetsu desu
"Oh me? I'm a reaper, i guide souls to the afterlife. Your soul however, is special."

Mc:"特別?"
Tokubetsu?
"Special?"

Sn:"あなたの魂は八十年間眠っている"
Anata no tamashī wa hachi juu-nenkan nemutte ita
"Your soul has been asleep for 80 years."

Mc:"八十年?!"
h-hachi juu-nen?!
"8-80 years?!"

Sn:"説明しますが、もうすぐです"
Setsumei shimasuga, mōsugudesu
"I would explain, but it is nearly time"

Mc:"何の時間?"
Dōiu imi?
"What do you mean?"

Daughter:"お父さん!"
Otōsan!
"Dad!"

Wife:"旦那さん!"
Danna-san!
"Darling!"

Mc:"本当に, ありがとうございました"
Hontōni, Arigatōgozaimashita"

Sn:"名誉です."
meiyo desu.
"It was my honour."

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7lGLzZQpGY

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https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1C0Ra6qyIOntLGX53RzUanUZBrTDDlM0Y?usp=sharing

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Story Draft (By tieing the story back to location):

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Story Draft (By tieing the story back to location):

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select one to develop VVVV

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Story DRAFTS: For our homework exercise and assignment

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Story DRAFTS: For our homework exercise and assignment

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https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zzOtH684ON9FE-jsziz1yne7MRx1hkh9AegrLy619YI/edit?usp=sharing

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Lost soul (Main character - mc)
Spirit guide (Spg)

Mc Thinks: "Where am I? Cherry blossoms? Am I back in Japan? Is my family safe?"

Spg says:" You are in Singapore, or rather, your ideal of what Singapore looks like, you imagine Singapore respecting your countrymen"

Mc startled, says:"Who are you? How did you get behind.."

Spg cuts in half way saying:" calm down you just woke up and you are confused"

Mc is frantic that someone snuck up on him, he then decides to throw a punch/ attack the spg

Spg says:" You are dead, this is the world before you pass on to the afterlife, you have to be ready before you pass on so please calm down."

Mc in disbelief and even more angry just shouts:" I cant be dead, I promised my family I would return!"

Spg dodges all his attacks and eventually just holds the mc down:" Please just listen to what I have to say"

Spg then leads mc to his grave, mc sees it and is then shocked, he really was dead. He then says: " My apologies, I had assumed you were an enemy too quickly"

Spg remarks: "Fret not, I understand your caution"
Mc then asks: "But how did you know who I was?"

Spg replies:" I have special eyes that can reveal a person's true nature as well as their past. You were once a respected warrior sent here to Singapore by your commanders, but you were captured and subsequently killed."

Mc then asks: "But what about my family?"

Spg is happy: " You are still thinking of your family, that's good, but fret not they are safe and have already passed on to the next life, you will be with them shortly"

Mc then accepts his fate and states:"Please, let me see my family again"

Spg smiles and says:" With pleasure"

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The beginning can be made shorter
Add the blueish but not too much
Reshoot to ensure the main character can be seen
opening title
Remove the scene where spg was pulling LS up (When MC was lying down)
no fight scene
Work on the last few scenes
Leave a longer text instead of a short one (Subtitles)

- not enough difference in voice and tone between SPG and LS
-Cut bits of the beginning. Too many long pauses.
- make the edit much tighter
- follow the example of the exercise we did.
- exercise had more dramatic tension than the current story

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https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1BXge95TkrB4KncB4vofuotME9Nq4atp8?usp=sharing

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What if a Japanese man wakes up in a Japanese Cemetery in Singapore and finds himself in the present?
Dramatic Tension: The spirit wants to help the lost soul to enter his afterlife but the man was in denial.
Hero Empathy: The spirit recognised the Japanese man (a soul) as his loved one in their previous lives. The spirit wants to help the lost soul to enter his afterlife but the man was in disbelief he is dead and got furious with him.
Vicarious experience: What is it like to be able to experience a Japanese-like garden in Singapore?

IDEA 4: Done by Shih Ching

The Japanese man wakes up and finds himself in the present, in a Japanese cemetery.(He could be lying near an iconic tree?) The man feels like he is in Japan due to its stunning scenery/ blossoms in Cemetery but spirit tells him he is in Singapore.

He sees the spirit beside him and is confused. Spirit told him that he died of an illness centuries ago but he denied it and got furious at the spirit for hiding something.

The spirit then told him that he died due to tuberculosis. His grave with his ashes is brought here to this cemetery as a memorial. The man forces the spirit to reveal his identity. Turns out he was the first Japanese Resident to live in Singapore during the 19 century and he was an extremely well-known figure during his previous life.

Spirit brought the man to his grave and finally believed the spirit.

He asked the spirit how he knew his previous life. The spirit replied that he has special eyesight that could see his past life. He realised they were related by blood.

The story ends with a spirit guiding him to his afterlife.

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Done by Wei Hong:

Mc thinks: "ここはどこ? 痛い... 桜？ 私は日本に戻っていますか？
Koko wa doko? Itai... Sakura? Watashi Nihon ni modotte imasu ka?
"Where am I? Ouch... Am I back in japan?"

Sn: "あなたはシンガポールにいます"
Anata wa shingapōru ni imasu
"You are in Singapore."

Mc screams: "ああああ, あんた誰だ?!
AHHHHHH, ANTA DAREDA?!
"AHHHHH, WHO ARE YOU?"

Sn: "落ち着け, あなたは目覚めたばかりで、まだ混乱しています"
Ochitsuke, Anata wa mezameta bakari de, mada konran shite imasu"
"Calm down, you just woke up and you are confused."

Mc: "どうやって遅れたの？それは不気味です"
Dō yatte okureta no? Sore wa bukimidesu.
"How did you get behind me? Thats Creepy..."

Sn: "いろんなことができる, とにかく, あなたは死んでなりました、これは来世に移る前の世界です。あなたが移る前に準備ができていなければならないので落ち着いてください。"
Iron'na koto ga dekiru, Tonikaku, Anata wa shinde narimashita, kore wa raise ni utsuru mae no sekai desu. anata ga utsuru mae ni junbi ga dekite inakereba naranainode ochitsuite kudasai.
"I can do a lot of things, but anyways, You are dead, this is the world before you pass on to the afterlife, you have to be ready before you pass on so please calm down"

Mc: "私は… 私は死んでいる？でも... でも私の家族は？ 約束したんだ…"
Watashi wa… watashi wa shinde iru? Demo... Demo watashi no kazoku wa? Yakusoku shita nda…
"I'm... I'm dead? But... but what about my family? I made a promise..."

Sn: "ああ、あなたの家族？心配ありません、彼らは安全で次の人生に移りました、すぐに彼らと一緒にいるでしょう"
Ā, anata no kazoku? Shinpai irimasen, karera wa anzende tsugi no jinsei ni utsurimashita, sugu ni karera to issho ni irudeshou.
"Oh, your family? Oh No worries, they are safe and have moved on to the next life, you will be with them soon."

Mc: "そうですか?"
S-Sōdesu ka?
"Is that so?"

Sn: "もちろん, 私は彼らを自分で導きました, にゃはははは"
Mochiron, Watashi wa karera o jibun de michibikimashita, Ni ~yahahahaha
"Of course, I guided them myself! Hahahaha"

Mc: "ああ、ありがとう？しかし、私はどこにいますか？"
Ā, arigatō? Shikashi, watashi wa doko ni imasu ka?
"Ah, thank you? But, where am I?"

Sn:"お, シンガポールの戦争記念碑, 日本兵はここに埋葬された. 彼らの墓は今でも保存されています"
O, shingapōru no sensō kinenhi, Nihonhei wa koko ni maisō sa reta. Karera no haka wa ima demo hozon sa rete imasu
"Oh, youre in the Singapore war memorial, japanese soldiers are buried here. Their graves are still preserved to this day."

Mc:"それはすばらしい, 待って、あなたは何ですか？"
Sore wa subarashī, Matte, anata wa nanidesu ka?
"Thats wonderful, wait, what are you?"

Sn: "あたし？私は死神です、私は魂を死後の世界に導きます. でもあなたの魂は特別です"
Atashi? Watashi wa shinigamidesu, watashi wa tamashī o shigo no sekai ni michibikimasu. Demo anata no tamashī wa tokubetsudesu
"Oh me? I'm a reaper, i guide souls to the afterlife. Your soul however, is special."

Mc:"特別?"
Tokubetsu?
"Special?"

Sn:"あなたの魂は八十年間眠っている"
Anata no tamashī wa hachi juu-nenkan nemutte ita
"Your soul has been asleep for 80 years."

Mc:"八十年?!"
h-hachi juu-nen?!
"8-80 years?!"

Sn:"説明しますが、もうすぐです"
Setsumei shimasuga, mōsugudesu
"I would explain, but it is nearly time"

Mc:"何の時間?"
Dōiu imi?
"What do you mean?"

Daughter:"お父さん!"
Otōsan!
"Dad!"

Wife:"旦那さん!"
Danna-san!
"Darling!"

Mc:"本当に, ありがとうございました"
Hontōni, Arigatōgozaimashita"

Sn:"名誉です."
meiyo desu.
"It was my honour."

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What if the lost soul met a spirit, who told him that he was a guy who was a prisoner of war in the past?
Dramatic Tension: The spirit wants to guide the lost soul to his next life but the soul retaliates and tries fighting with the spirit as he was in disbelief he is dead.
Hero Empathy: Will the lost soul accept his fate and allow the spirit to guide him to his afterlife?
Vicarious experience: What is it like to become a lost soul, wandering in a cemetery in the present time?

IDEA 5: Done by Shih Ching (Lost soul idea was thought out by Hadi)

The Japanese man wakes up and finds himself in the present, in a Japanese cemetery as a lost soul, who was constantly missing his family( and longing for them to return) As he walked aimlessly, the man feels like he is in Japan due to the stunning blossoms inside the cemetery which he thought looked familiar to him. He believes his family is here but a voice behind him tells him he is in Singapore. ( From our research, Japanese Cemetery Park is extremely well-known for its beautiful garden with flowers on the archways, which gives one the feeling they are transported to Japan).

He turned around and saw a figure. Spirit told him he can help guide him to his next life. The man was confused and asked what he meant, and in return, the spirit told him he is dead. Angered and in disbelief, he tries to fight the spirit as he thought the spirit was lying/ hiding something.

Spirit dodges and told the soul to calm down and listen to his backstory.

Spirit told the lost soul his story about him being a prisoner of war in SG (during WW II), and his grave is located here.

He bought the lost soul to his tomb. Along the way, they saw numerous unnamed tombs along the way when spirit brought him to his grave. However, his tomb was special (odd few) as his name was on the grave tombstone among the three distinctive memorials in the cemetery. The soul was in shock. (three other distinctive memorials in the cemetery were completed by three Japanese prisoners-of-war—carpenter Kunio Higashituji, and stonemasons Tomokatsu Mizuya and Tokiyaki Tetsuka—in April 1947. the lost soul is one of them in his previous life.)

Spirit brought the man to his grave. When he saw his name, he was shocked. That was when he finally believed the spirit. He asked the spirit how he knew about his previous life. The spirit replied that he has special eye power that could see his past life. The spirit told him that they were related by blood.

Spirit wishes to guide him to his afterlife, which the man finally accepts...

TO NOTE:
* Lost soul meaning he was someone who can be lost and does not seem to know where they are ( dictionary definition of the lost soul)

*We are planning to use a fictitious Japanese name for the lost soul (POW) to respect the deceased at Japanese cemetery

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Spirit Guide (Spg) (main character)
Lost soul (Ls)
*Bell sound
Hearing the bell, the spirit guide knows what soul he needs to guide
Spg:"Oh, a lost soul today."
The spg then walks towards the lost soul. The Spg is able to listen to the thoughts of lost souls and he listens to the lost souls' thoughts
Ls:"Where am I? Cherry blossoms? Am I back in Japan? Is my family safe?"
The spirit guide now behind the lost soul remarks
Spg:"You are in Singapore, rather, your ideal thoughts of what Singapore looks like, you imagine Singapore respecting your countrymen"
The Lost soul had just awoken and was shocked at how he could have let someone behind him, he angrily demanded
Ls:"Who are you? How did you get behind m-?"
The spg then cuts him off saying
Spg:"Calm yourself, you have just woken up and you are confused"
The Lost soul is frantic that someone had snuck up behind him and he decides to put his fists up/ draw his weapon
Spg then continues saying what he has to say
Spg:"You are dead, this is the world just before you pass on to the afterlife, you have to be ready before you pass on so please calm down and listen to what I have to say."
The lost soul stops is taken aback for a while, but then decides to take a swing/ attack the spg
Lost soul:"How dare you spout such taboo, I cant die yet, I promised my family I would return!"
Ls now in disbelief and even more angered keeps attacking the spg, but the spg now a little annoyed decides to hold the lost soul down.
Spg:"Please just listen to what I have to say."
The Lost soul then had no choice but to listen to the spg. The spg led the lost soul to his grave and on the way the spg thought
spg:"What a fiesty soul, but he must be worried for his family, I like that."
The lost soul then saw his grave, finally believing he truly is dead.
Lost soul: "I really am dead. I must apologise, I had assumed you were an enemy too quickly."
Spg: "Fret not, I understand your caution."
The lost soul then asked the spg curiously
Ls: "But, how did you know who I was?"
Spg: "I have special eyes that can reveal a person's true nature as well as their past. You were once a respected soldier in ww2 sent here to Singapore by your commanders, but you were captured and subsequently killed."
The Lost soul then looked sad, but he accepted his death quickly. The only thing on his mind was his family and the spf notices.
Ls: "But what of my family?
Spg is happy that the lost soul is so worried of his family, and he thus replies cheerfully
Spg: "You are stil thinking of your family, that's good, but fret not, they are safe and have already passed on to the next life, you will be with them shortly."
The Lost soul then smiles and says
Ls: "Thank you, really, I think I am ready, please, let me see my family again."
The spg then smiles and replies
Spg: "It would be my honor."

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Story idea 6: Done by Hadi

Spg = spirit guide
Ls =lost soul

Spg narrorates the whole sequence

He talks about the souls he had to guide. Some would come without hesitation, some would retaliate.

This one soul however, was very peculiar. A LS crouched in the corner. Whimpering.

As the SPG approached, the LS turns.

They have an interaction.

The SPG explains He is to guide souls to the next life.

The LS denies this and says he's lying.

The SPG tugs on the arm of the LS. The LS pushes back and fights the SPG. He choked the SPG, but not for long.

The SPG slaps his hand away. And his mask comes off. To reveal a scarred soul...

He says how he was once lost, and now he guides souls to where they need to be

The end

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**Done by Hadi.

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https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1hX6PvI9vlDlvLRdv_m-nZiaZB-V4P6Gz

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Final clip (Short Video with A/B roll:):

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Final clip (Short Video with A/B roll:):

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Rough cut Edited by:
Amelia

Fine cut:
Hadi

Sfx:
Hadi

voiceover:
Wei Hong

Subtitles:
Shih Ching

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Done by Shih Ching

Logline:
The man was a lost soul who misses his family. He woke up and found himself surrounded by stunning blossoms in the cemetery which looked familiar to him. That made him think that his family could be here as the place looked like Japan (where he came from) but a voice behind him tells him he is in Singapore. He turned around only to see a spirit who told him he has passed on centuries ago. The spirit wanted to help guide him to his next life. However, the lost soul was angry and in disbelief, he tried to fight and threaten the spirit as he suspects it was hiding something... Will he be able to uncover the truth about his own life (and his family)

Protagonist objective: To be able to reunite with his family

Story Analysis:

Concept: What if a Japanese man( the lost soul) met a spirit, who told him that he was a guy who was a prisoner of war in the past?

Dramatic Tension/ conflict breakdown: The spirit wants to guide the lost soul to his next life but the soul retaliates and tries fighting with the spirit as he was in disbelief he is dead.

Inciting Incident: A voice behind the man told him that he is in Singapore, not Japan

1st PP: The spirit told him that he was dead and that he'll be moving on to his afterlife.

Midpoint: The lost soul was fuming and in denial that he is dead. He tried to attack the spirit as he thought he was hiding some truth.

2nd PP: The spirit told the lost soul about his past life but the soul was still in slight disbelief.

Climax: He saw his grave in the war memorial and came to a realisation that what the spirit said was true and was actually a well-respected Japanese commander in Singapore during his previous life.

Hero Empathy: Will the lost soul accept his fate and allow the spirit to guide him to his afterlife.

Vicarious experience: What is it like to become a lost soul, wandering in a cemetery in the present time?

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Embede the concept of world war 2 in the film. More details about the World war 2 could be included in the film.

Think/ discuss on what sets the location- Tie our story back to the location

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Japanese Cemetery Park has beautiful blossoms and structural architecture (such as the archways) which makes it extremely unique as it gives one the feeling that they are transported to Japan (Even though the place is in Singapore). Visitors are able to experience Japan's gardens in Singapore, as well as understand more about Japanese culture overall without having to travel all the way to the country itself.

The WAR MEMORIAL: In the vicinity of these stone markers is a memorial for the Japanese who died in POW camps in Singapore. (three other distinctive memorials in the cemetery were completed by three Japanese prisoners-of-war—carpenter Kunio Higashituji, and stonemasons Tomokatsu Mizuya and Tokiyaki Tetsuka—in April 1947. the lost soul is one of them in his previous life.)

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Overall feedback: Develop further on draft 1, compress script to fit 90s

1. Instead of having the spirit say:" You are in Singapore, or rather, your ideal of what Singapore looks like, you imagine Singapore respecting your countrymen"

just say: "You are in Singapore, this is the war memorial inside Japnese Cemetery.:"

2. Instead of spirit mentioning "Fret not, I understand your caution", mention:''This is the resting ground for your Japanese Comrades who passed on, together with you during WW II." (Show a pan of the cemetery)

3. Spg is happy: " You are still thinking of your family, that's good, but fret not they are safe and have already passed on to the next life, you will be with them shortly" change to " You are still thinking of your family, no worries they are safe and have moved on to their next life, you will be with them soon..." Can end the story... (Not too lengthy)

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Frames are arranged in sequence.

**We did not follow our storyboards completely. Changes to shots were made along the way where appropriate.