# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Second Step Circle - Anger, Cause and Effect

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
3-Middle School Monthly Proactive Circle Topics

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
3-High School Monthly Proactive Circle Topics

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Austin's Butterfly: Models, Critique, and Descriptive Feedback

# data[].attributes.body
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rqd6EBL7TISpTN9Evgfmpg_VZtkQIcO0Eh3kUAxDthA/copy

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Using Dialogue Circles to Support Classroom Management

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Restorative Practices Isn't About Changing Students' Behavior

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Restorative Circles: Creating a Safe Environment for Students to Reflect

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Restorative practices hold significant promise for school transformation. However, because of the widespread popularity of their restorative justice component, many educators mistakenly assume that restorative practices are merely responsive, focused on repairing harm to relationships as an alternative to traditional disciplinary approaches that focus on punitive responses to rule infractions.

On the contrary, restorative practices are characterized by proactive relationships, connection, and community transformation. As such, effective implementation of restorative practices rests not merely on getting their technical aspects right, but far more on the often overlooked adaptive and relational elements that are necessary to achieve authentic, meaningful, and sustainable implementation.

By highlighting the mindsets, values, social capital, and structural supports that bind and hold together restorative practices, this guide provides educators, school leaders, and district administrators with the strategies, tools, and structural supports they need to successfully implement restorative practices and transform their schools into strong communities with meaningful relationships, a sense of authentic belonging, and equitable whole-person outcomes.

"Centering Adaptive and Relational Elements of Restorative Practices as Tools for Implementation Success" is a companion audiocast to "The Toolkit Before the Toolkit." In conversation in the audiocast is Lauren Trout, the toolkit's author, and Dr. Angela Ward from Transforming Education. They discuss restorative practices as a paradigm and the necessary conditions for implementing with fidelity and sustainability.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
The Toolkit Before the Toolkit: Centering Adaptive and Relational Elements of Restorative Practices for Implementation Success (Toolkit & Audiocast) - SEL Center

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Restorative practices hold significant promise for school transformation. However, because of the widespread popularity of their restorative justice component, many educators mistakenly assume that restorative practices are merely responsive, focused on repairing harm to relationships as an alternative to traditional disciplinary approaches that focus on punitive responses to rule infractions.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Suggested Topics for Community Circles (1).docx (1)

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Sample Prompting Questions.Topics for Circles (1).docx (1)

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Description: This is a movement game that involves students making statements that involves making connections to themselves with statements. e.g. The west wind blows if you are wearing green.

Activity Length: The game can be up to 10 minutes in length.
The West Wind Blows is a movement game that allows students to move their bodies while developing language skills in making descriptive statements.

Audience: Grades K-3

Procedures:

1. Students stand in a circle. One person is in the middle and makes a statement "The west wind blows if you ....." E.g. of statements are: ...if you are wearing red; ...if you have a dog; ...if you like pizza.

2. If the people in the circle connect with the statement, then they need to quickly exchange spots with someone else who is connecting with the statement. The last person to find a spot becomes the participant in the middle of the circle.

3. The game repeats.

Extensions: Chairs/Mats/Cones: To ensure that students know their spot and to help facilitate to determine where a spot is available to change with, students could sit in a circle in chairs or on mats. Alternatively, students could have a cone behind them when in the circle to denote the various spaces.
Benefits/Limitations: Students need to be actively engaged and attentive to make the connections between themselves and the statements. Students are developing oral language skills (speaking and listening) in this game.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
The West Wind Blows - Drama Warm-Up Strategies

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Description: This is a movement game that involves students making statements that involves making connections to themselves with statements. e.g. The west wind blows if you are wearing green. Activity Length: The game can be up to 10 minutes in length.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
The new question-of-the-week is:
What are practical ways to implement restorative practices?
There is more and more interest in moving away from "traditional" school discipline and toward restorative practices. This series will explore what that kind of shift can look like-in practical terms-inside our schools and classrooms.

Today, Dr. Sheila Wilson, Maurice McDavid, Timothy Hilton, Ashley McCall, Bryan Harris, and Kara Pranikoff contribute their commentaries. You can listen to a ten-minute conversation I had with Sheila, Maurice, and Timothy on my BAM! Radio Show. You can also find a list of, and links to, previous shows here.
"When You Know Better, You Do Better!" Dr. Sheila Wilson is a native New Orleanian. She currently works as a 5th grade teacher in Virginia. In addition to instructional leadership, she serves to improve the capacity of students, teachers, and families through her roles as grade chair, lead mentor teacher, family-engagement liaison, and SCA adviser. Dr. Wilson is also an adjunct professor, conference presenter, and self-proclaimed lifelong learner. She is passionate about amplifying instruction, school leadership, and equity:
We are all familiar with the discipline practices of yesteryear, which would likely cause any conscientious educator today to cringe. Corporal punishment/traditional discipline practices were widely accepted and viewed as a means of correcting unwanted negative behaviors. I can vividly remember being a high school sophomore assigned to write 500 lines for being caught passing a note in the classroom. And who can forget the ultimate ... getting paddled in the principal's office! Even though it didn't personally happen to me (really), just the idea evoked fear in students of all ages and deterred most from mischievous acts. So, why was corporal punishment acceptable then? Why is corporal punishment no longer an accepted discipline practice in most places? Is punishment designed for those who obey the rules or for others? These questions make me call to mind the adage, "When you know better, you do better!"

Countless studies have shown that traditional discipline practices are no longer effective in today's schools. In fact, traditional practices were so commonplace in part because the ability to apply an immediate consequence was less time consuming for the one doling out the punishment. However, we now embrace restorative practices because they draw their strength in their ability to empower students to learn from unacceptable choices, to understand their impact, and to grow personally in their ability to make more sound decisions and resolve problems. Restorative practices represent a positive step forward in helping all students learn to resolve disagreements, take ownership of their behavior, and engage in acts of empathy and forgiveness.

There are many ways to implement restorative practices in the classroom. First, teachers can incorporate daily morning meetings to build relationships with students, get a sense of their social/emotional mindset, and set the tone and focus for the instructional day. Teachers can also utilize goal setting with their students as a restorative practice. With goal setting, students take ownership of areas they'd like to improve (academically or socially), and they set realistic and actionable steps to work toward their goal. By providing individual goal conferences, teachers can check in to see if students are on track to meet their goals, and students learn to self-check and refocus as needed. Another useful strategy is when an unacceptable behavior has happened that the teacher allows the offended student to share how the offense made him/her feel. In this way, the offender is able to understand how his/her behavior impacts others and therefore understand the perspective of the other person. Finally, there is great restorative power in having the student who has made an unacceptable choice reflect on his/her behavior in writing by addressing very specific questions like: What choice did I make? How did my choice impact others? Is there a better way that I could have addressed this situation? If I had the opportunity for a redo, would I make the same choice? Why or why not?

There are a number of benefits or restorative practices:

Builds relationships

Strives to be respectful to all

Provides the opportunity for equitable dialogue and decisionmaking

Involves relevant stakeholders

Addresses harms, needs, obligations

Encourages all to take responsibility

Educators have come to realize that you can't punish a child into doing anything. Instead of simply instituting harsh punishment, we need to teach kids the kind of skills, supported by research, to help them improve their behavior. This is why districts are embracing the implementation of restorative structures in schools across the nation. In building socially responsible students, we must arm them with the ability to think critically, problem-solve, and be able to work collaboratively with others. It will be through their mastery of academic knowledge AND their capacity to engage successfully with others that will ultimately guarantee their future success. Therefore, as educators, we must invest our efforts wisely.

Four Restorative Practices
Maurice McDavid earned his bachelor's degree in elementary education with a minor in history and Spanish. He has taught middle school history, English, and Spanish, as well as high school geography. He was dean of students for three years and is now in his first year as assistant principal at a bilingual elementary school.:

There are four restorative practices that I have worked to implement in our school building that all work on the same model of restorative justice: community-building circles, norm setting, community circles for content, and restorative chats.

Community-building circles: This practice is great for the beginning of the year, as well as use throughout the year to build a community of learners. This allows the students to get to know one another, as well as the teacher. This practice builds empathy amongst the students and will reduce the negative attacking behaviors that can exist in classrooms.

Norm setting: This practice is done using the model of a community-building circle but emphasizes the building of classroom norms together. Oftentimes, rules are handed down by authority and are necessary. Through the norm-setting process, students discuss the values (love, kindness, honesty, etc.) that are important to them in a relationship. From there, students take the values and turn them into action statements describing how they could live out those values in the classroom. A list of action statements or norms are created and can then be edited together as a class. What is awesome about this process is that the norms created are not adult-driven but instead are created as a community and thus has more community buy-in.

Community circles for content: This again uses the community-circle model for the base of practice. The difference is that rather than simply looking to build community, you can use the circle to present content in a class. It is a great discussion model. I have used it to introduce units and gather feedback about students' background information. The students are able to share openly and yet in an organized fashion, using the talking piece to moderate.

Restorative chats: Restorative chats are used when students do not meet the norms that were established in the classroom. It can be one on one or can be done with the whole class. It is centered around the following four questions:

What happened? - This differs from what did you do and allows students to tell the whole story and feel heard.

What were you thinking at the time? - This asks students to go back through the mental process they used when making the decision to act outside of the norms. This is a meta-cognitive practice. It allows for reflection on what thoughts and/or emotions may have led to the behavior.

Who or what was harmed? - This question asks the student to be accountable for the idea that their behavior caused harm to someone or something. Students are quick to discover that they have harmed themselves and, oftentimes, see how their behavior has harmed a teacher or classmate. This builds empathy.

How do you repair the harm? - This question asks the student to think about how they can make the situation right rather than simply serving a consequence that is not directly connected to the action. Students may offer to apologize or clean up a mess created. Students get to be a part of deciding what happens rather than having a decision made for them.

Starting "Small" Timothy Hilton is a climate and culture specialist with the Fresno Unified school district, in California, where he coaches teachers on classroom management and class climate. Timothy has over 10 years classroom-teaching experience at every level of social studies, ranging from Advanced Placement to English-language development. Timothy is currently a doctoral candidate at Claremont Graduate University in the field of educational policy, evaluation, and reform:
The Restorative practices world is a world that many educators fear simply because they do not know a lot about it. Educators are rarely trained to an adequate level in how to make Restorative Practices (RP) work in their daily lives. Teachers are usually shown the heavy-duty re-entry circles or conflict mediation to demonstrate the power of RP, but this often leaves teachers intimidated, overwhelmed, and asking how this is going to work for them.

The best, and most practical way, to implement restorative practices in the classroom is to start small with some basic restorative skills that can be practiced in your classroom, and even in your life outside of school. These skills are listening, affective communication, and curiosity questions. Once these skills have been practiced, lived, and embraced, then teacher can begin working into the heavier-duty RP practices.

Listening: While the concept of listening seems self-explanatory, we as teachers do not always do it. We are often trying to do a million things at once and, in turn, never really listen to our students. We hear them, but do we listen? In a restorative classroom, there are a couple ways we can demonstrate that we are listening. First is by mirroring their emotions and feelings about a topic. If they are serious when they are telling you something, then be serious as you listen. Second is by demonstrating active listening and paraphrasing. Saying things like, "What I am hearing you say is ..." Third is by being present and validating their feelings. If they are telling you something, make sure you are in the conversation and not planning your grocery list. A big part of being present is validating their feelings. You can do this by making statements such as, " I understand why you are upset." Or, "I cannot even imagine what you must be feeling, but that you so much for sharing with me."

Affective Communication: Also known as I-messages, these are powerful restorative tools that can be easily used in every classroom. These statements are done to connect the actions of your students to the impact they have on you. Affective statements require teachers to be willing to be honest and share their feelings. Affective statements follow simple formulas that can be used in every affective statement you make, "I feel/felt _____ when you _____." Another example is, "I would like/what I need is _____." The statement frames can be combined or used independently and might look like this, "I felt disappointed when I caught you cheating on the test. " Or,

"I felt sad yesterday when I found out you lied to me because I have always trusted you. I need you to trust me enough to be honest with me. " These questions tie the actions of an individual to the effect they had, something students often forget about.

Curiosity Questions: These are genuine questions you would ask someone to learn more about their situation. Imagine a student just does not seem to be having a good day. You can pull them aside and ask some curiosity questions to find out more. Simple questions like, "How are you doing today?" Or, "You seem kind of off today, is everything OK?" These questions help dive into an issue, but curiosity questions can also help resolve a conflict, "How did it make you feel when Tommy hit you?" or "What do you need Tommy to say to you to feel better?" These are just some very surface-level examples, but many more can be found online and in print resources.

Online Resources for Support Ashley McCall is a 3rd grade English/language arts educator at Chavez Multicultural Academic Center in Back of the Yards (Chicago) where she serves as a teacher representative on the local school council. She is a Teach Plus Teaching Policy Fellowship alumna and a member of the Teach Plus Board:
Many districts that are new to restorative practices are under the impression that it is a program to implement. It is not. Restorative practices are about shifting the mindsets and developing the capacity of stakeholders (students, families, teachers, administrators, receptionists, cafeteria staff, security staff, etc.) so they are invested in the culture and climate of the building and accept responsibility for maintaining a safe, enjoyable, and productive environment for all involved. When stakeholders are invested and properly trained, we are able to effectively sustain healthy school climates and respond effectively to breaches in our social contract.

If you are looking to shift toward more restorative practices in your school, you need buy-in across stakeholder groups. Consider how you (and a diverse group of stakeholders) will make a case for and create a sense of urgency around restorative practices at your school. Consider how you can use data as a reflective tool (rather than a tool for shaming and punishment) to drive conversations around the culture, climate, and current disciplinary practices.

Conflict-Resolution Sentence Starters As a career-long educator, Bryan Harris has served in a variety of roles from classroom teacher to district-level leader. Now working full time as a trainer, his work focuses on topics ranging from student engagement to teacher resiliency. Find out more at his website:
At the heart of restorative practices-in fact, it's right there in the name-is helping students learn how to repair and restore relationships after a conflict, hurt, offense, or fight.

The sad fact is that far too many of our students enter school without effective conflict-resolution skills. This includes the skill of recognizing when you've done harm to someone else and how to fix it. Notice that I didn't say that kids don't have any conflict-resolution skills. The fact is that they do-it's just that many of the skills and communication methods they've acquired are not healthy or productive.

So, as teachers and leaders, what do we do?

The first step is knowing that conflict is normal and cannot be fully avoided as long as you interact with other people. Once we help our students understand this very important idea, helping them develop and refine skills that communicate remorse is a great next step. In other words, teach them the power of an apology.

When students know how to sincerely offer and genuinely accept an apology, it serves as the foundation to restore broken relationships.

Have you ever seen something like this before?

Student A (we'll call them the offender) sheepishly walks over to Student B and says, "Sorry." They mumble the word under their breath while looking directly at the ground, arms folded the entire time.

Student B (we'll call them the victim) reluctantly says, "That's OK," while also looking at the ground and counting the seconds until they can run away.

In this all-too-common scenario, both students are likely embarrassed, and the conflict is not resolved. While some of the right words were used, Student A didn't truly apologize, and Student B didn't authentically accept it.

Imagine how different that interaction would be if students used specific words and phrases that communicate remorse for the offense and acceptance of an apology. It might sound like this:

Student A: "I am sorry for drawing that picture of you and showing it to your friends. I realize that made you feel sad. I promise I'll never do that again. Will you please forgive me?"

Student B: "Since you promised to never do that again, I accept your apology."

Notice the difference in the words. A great first place to start is by teaching students, by the use of sentence starters, which words are most effective at offering and accepting an apology. The following examples are great places to start:
How to Offer an Apology
* I apologize for ...

* It was my fault that _______ happened. I apologize for letting it happen.

* I realize that....

* I realize that _____ was my fault and I am sorry for making you feel ________.

* I am truly sorry that I did this. I want to make things better. Tell me how I can do that.
How to Accept an Apology
* I accept your apology. Make sure this does not happen again.

* Because I know you will not do this again, I accept your apology.

* I'll accept your apology because....

* Because you know that ______ was wrong, I accept your apology.

* Because you know that ______ hurt me, I can accept your apology.

Four Strategies for Promoting Restorative Practices
Kara Pranikoff is an elementary school teacher at a public school in New York City. Her book, Teaching Talk: A Practical Guide to Fostering Student Thinking and Conversation (Heinemann, 2017), shares many ways to keep the balance of classroom discussion in the hands of the students:

It was a beautiful springtime morning in New York. I walked into the yard to pick up my 2nd graders, and they swarmed to me, ready to begin our day.

Hudson stood atypically off to the side. Bending down to meet his eyes, I asked what was going on. "I don't want to talk about it now," he said quietly. "But may I give a public-service announcement when we get up to our room?"

"Public-service announcements" were statements that students needed to share with the rest of the community. Often these were messages that would increase our efficiency. (Can everyone place their jackets on hooks so that the space stays neat?) Or messages that would help us work better together. (Remember, we need to have a calmer science class so we can do our experiment.)

"I'd like to speak with everyone, even before we unpack," he requested. I was unsure about the content of his message, but it was clear that Hudson needed to begin our day.

Students entered the class, placed backpacks at their tables, and moved directly onto the rug. Hudson took a seat in the front corner of our meeting area, and I settled onto the bench in-between his peers.

"I'm feeling a little sad today," he began. "I just want everyone to know that last night my great-grandmother died. I want everyone to know that I might not want to play very much today."

The class responded with care. Some had questions that were typical of 2nd graders trying to get the literal facts: How old was she? How did she die? Then Hunter, Hudson's closest friend, raised her hand. "How can we help you feel better?" she wanted to know.

Restorative practices are essential for a community to care for each other and grow together. Our best learning happens when we feel safe and secure. This priority requires attention each day in order to bring together an entire classroom of diverse students.

The tools which enabled the students to listen and support Hudson in his time of need were put in place in the fall-nurtured and practiced each day-so that by springtime they could be used, with independence. Here are some essential ways to develop these habits of mind:

Have discussion in circle every day

It's said that one way to achieve closeness with others is to eat with them. It's not just the literal nourishment but the connection which is fostered by close physical proximity. The classroom equivalent is to set aside a space where the whole community can gather and face each other in a circle. This creates an area of inclusion where students can share their thoughts and ideas.
Make space for students to speak and respond to each other independently
Students' ownership of their shared space requires the ability for them to express their thoughts freely. Speaking in partnership or small groups can be woven into every day so that sharing and building ideas, independent of the teacher, is a regular practice.
Invite the lives of your students into the classroom
Restorative practice honors the full being of each student. For this to happen, students must have the freedom to share what is on their mind. We must embrace the child as a whole, enabling them to express the joys that happen both inside and outside of school, as well as the struggles.

Begin your day together

Each day we transition from our home space with family to our classroom community. By gathering as a whole class first thing every morning, we make a commitment to welcome our day together. We can set our intentions and get our minds ready for what is coming ahead in our shared learning.

Thanks to Sheila, Maurice, Timothy, Ashley, Bryan, and Kara for their contributions.

Please feel free to leave a comment with your reactions to the topic or directly to anything that has been said in this post.
Just a reminder; you can subscribe and receive updates from this blog via email or RSS Reader. And if you missed any of the highlights from the first eight years of this blog, you can see a categorized list below. The list doesn't include ones from this current year, but you can find those by clicking on the "answers" category found in the sidebar. Look for Part Two in a few days.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Ways to Implement Restorative Practices in the Classroom (Opinion)

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Educators share their practical experience implementing restorative practices in their schools, such as holding goal-setting conferences with students and teaching them "the power of an apology."

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Social and Emotional Learning

Restorative justice allows everyone affected by a harm to return to a calm state that is optimal for learning.

©Shutterstock/Monkey Business Images

Restorative justice (RJ) offers healthy alternatives to the traditional disciplinary approach of rules and the consequences of breaking those rules. RJ practices such as peer conflict resolution circles, reflection sheets that guide conversations with a teacher or administrator, and mediated student-student or student-adult conversations are practices that allow students and communities to feel safe and successful together.

While traditional rules-and-consequences discipline is sometimes effective in stopping detrimental behaviors, it may have negative effects on the long-term resilience and connection within the community. It's worth considering the impact that such discipline has on our nervous systems, on the relationships within our schools, and on students' identity and self-esteem, and what RJ has to offer as an alternative.

The Nervous System and Our Sense of Connection

Picture a student who has just passed a note in class or pushed a peer in the hallway and a teacher who has caught this student in the act. In this moment of rule violation and the confrontation that follows, the student, the teacher, and sometimes even nearby observers can experience a sympathetic nervous system response-muscular tension, an increase in heart rate, elevated levels of cortisol and adrenaline, and shortness of breath-also known as the "fight, flight, freeze, or submit" response. This is the body preparing to protect itself from a real or perceived threat or danger.

When a traditional rules-and-consequences approach is used to address errant behavior, the misbehaving student is often left to regulate their nervous system on their own-or not, as we see with students who transgress in the morning and then continue to act out or have a difficult time focusing throughout the day.

For an educator or administrator, it can be taxing when a student continues to act out and/or worrisome when a student begins to exhibit detrimental emotions and self-destructive behaviors. Simply punishing a behavior doesn't allow for space to inquire about the motivation behind a misstep or what's needed to repair the harm.

RJ practices help all community members involved to calm or regulate their nervous systems by focusing on authentic reconnection after a rupture occurs. When we're connected, we naturally feel safer and our nervous systems have a better chance of returning to the parasympathetic "rest and digest" mode that is optimal for learning.

RJ practices allow us to recognize how the offender, victim, witnesses, and guiding adult are all impacted by the harm that occurred, and will all benefit from a reparative or restorative process to feel safe again in the school environment.

Applied in various ways, RJ practices always ask all parties involved:

What happened?

What harm was caused?

What needs to happen to repair the harm?

Through RJ, students and adults learn about each other's perspectives and build empathy and understanding, developing a greater sense of trust in one another. The transgressing student has the opportunity to repair harm by acknowledging their wrongdoing, expressing remorse, and taking action based upon the victim's needs to repair trust. Victims are able to share their experience, offer forgiveness, and make amends. Having a chance to rebuild relationship after a misstep and to foster empathy, attunement, and accountability helps the whole community to feel safe and more connected.

No matter the level of severity of a rule violation-even when a student is asked to leave a community-the RJ process fortifies compassion and empathy for others and humanizes the experience of mistake-making.

Supporting Self-Esteem

When someone-a student or an adult-feels unsafe at home or experiences discrimination for their background, identity, or other reasons, they may come to school with an already overstimulated nervous system. This means it's easier for them to become dysregulated-to experience a sympathetic fight, flee, freeze, or submit response-during a rule violation or enforcement moment.

Psychologically, a student who breaks a rule and receives punishment may begin to identify as a "bad kid," and may be seen by their peers as someone who always get into trouble-a cycle that is sometimes repeated again and again. Through the reflective processes of RJ, this student can instead learn about the impact of their actions and reflect upon their membership in the community. They have a chance to grow self-esteem and to perceive themselves as a human who has made a mistake or bad decision and is taking responsibility for their actions.

Rather than simply doling out a punishment without guidance, RJ reminds us all that mistakes are learning opportunities for growth and that offenders have the opportunity to take responsibility for their behavior, repair the harm they have caused, and work toward a positive outcome.

A learning community that engages in connection building to repair harm becomes more resilient over time via more trusting connections between community members, increased self-awareness and compassion, and regulated nervous systems.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
How Restorative Justice Helps Students Learn | Edutopia

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Social and Emotional Learning Restorative justice allows everyone affected by a harm to return to a calm state that is optimal for learning. ©Shutterstock/Monkey Business Images Restorative justice (RJ) offers healthy alternatives to the traditional disciplinary approach of rules and the consequences of breaking those rules.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Research and Evaluations | School Resources | Resources

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Randomized controlled studies Study of the IIRP SaferSanerSchools program in 22 Pittsburgh Public Schools by the RAND Corporation with funding from the U.S. Department of Justice Comprehensive School Safety Initiative: Research brief: Restorative pra...

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
When challenging behavior:

What happened?

What were you thinking of at the time?

What have you thought about since?

Who has been affected by what you have done?

In what way have they been affected?

What do you think you need to do to make things right?

To help those affected:

What did you think when you realized what had happened?

What impact has this incident had on you and others?

What has been the hardest thing for you?

What do you think needs to happen to make things right?

Restorative questions are a tool used to process an incident of wrongdoing or conflict. When a situation has occurred, the person(s) who has created the conflict takes some time and answers questions such as the following: What happened? What were you thinking about at the time of the incident? What are your thoughts now? Who was impacted by your actions, and how? How will you repair the harm? The questions focus on the incident, and allow the person to think about how his/her actions affected others. It encourages empathy, accountability, expression of feelings and thoughts, and problem solving. Restorative questions are also answered by those who were impacted by the incident, to help them process their feelings and determine what they need to make things right.

As a teacher, I have used restorative questions with my students and find them to be a powerful tool. However, I frequently catch myself putting more focus on the person who created the conflict, and having them use the restorative questions to reflect on the situation. With those who have been impacted, I tend to talk with them about the event, rather than give them the restorative questions to answer. While my reasoning was mainly about time management (and a bit of laziness), not allowing my students the time to reflect on those questions robs them of an opportunity to develop self-identification of their emotions and needs. Due to a recent situation, I have experienced firsthand the benefits of reflection using restorative questions, and truly recognize their importance to all parties involved in an act of harm.

About two months ago, I had a situation where a young man was making inappropriate comments in my class. Despite my repeated attempts to work with him, "John" refused to rectify the situation and became too angry to focus on his assignment. I finally asked him to leave my classroom, which enraged him. As I stood by the door to my classroom, John stormed out in a rage. In doing so, he slammed my door as hard as he could. In an instant, I felt intense fear and shock. This confused me, and over the next few hours, I had a difficult time sorting through my emotions. I could not comprehend why I was having such a strong reaction to his aggressive behavior. This was not the first time I have been in a conflict with an angry adolescent, but this seemed different and I could not figure out why that was the case.

Later that afternoon, I attempted to reflect on the day's events, but struggled to do so, as I still could not sort my feelings. It eventually dawned on me to use the restorative questions as a starting point. For some reason, I used the questions that are typically reserved for the wrongdoer, but the questions still seemed to suit my needs. I started with the question "what happened?" then worked my way through "what was I thinking during the incident" and "what were my thoughts now?" Those few questions fueled a huge response from me, helping me spot that the student's actions brought up emotions connected to incidents from my past - events that I had never really dealt with before now. Once I discovered the connection, it was much easier for me to recognize my feelings. From there I was able to identify my needs in this situation.

When I finally sat down with John, he had already completed a lot of reflection work and was ready to meet with me. He explained the struggle he had that morning, prior to class, in dealing with a personal situation. John told me that he took his anger out on me, and that he should not have done so. He shared with me his plan to make sure that this never happened again, and apologized for his actions. He then asked me what I was feeling at the time of the incident. It surprised me how comfortable I felt to share with him my emotions - those of fear and shock, and how his actions brought to the surface feelings I experienced from a past incident. I did not share any personal details with him, but the mere acknowledgment of the connections between my past and this event seemed to get his attention. He first looked surprised, then compassionate. I was taken aback at how intently he listened to me, and I felt validated without his even needing to say a word. When I was finished, he related a similar struggle he had in his past, and the connection between us was made. By the end of our meeting, I felt heard, and confident that this situation was behind us.

I realize how valuable restorative questions are, not only those who have committed an act of wrongdoing but also those who were affected by the act. The time spent processing what had happened to me was time well spent. It was a strong reminder for me that shortchanging the process for my students can affect some of what restorative practices attempts to achieve: involvement of all parties; self-awareness; and the potential connections that can occur through recognition and acknowledgment of others' feelings and needs. Lesson learned.

Samantha White is a technology teacher for CSF Buxmont Academy and a lecturer for International Institute for Restorative Practices.

To read more about the restorative questions in the context of the definitional framework of restorative practices, read "What Is Restorative Practices?" by Ted Wachtel.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Time to Think: Using Restorative Questions | News

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
When challenging behavior: What happened? What were you thinking of at the time? What have you thought about since? Who has been affected by what you have done? In what way have they been affected? What do you think you need to do to make things righ...

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Second Step Circle - Responding to Rejection

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Second Step Circle - Being a Good Friend

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Second Step Circle - Bullying and Harassment

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Second Step Circle - Can Conflict Be Positive

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Second Step Circle - Causes of Sexual Harassment

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Second Step Circle - Choosing How to React

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Second Step Circle - Comfort with Mistakes

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Second Step Circle - Communication Maintenance

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Second Step Circle - Conflicts and Relationships

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Second Step Circle - Conflicts in Groups

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Second Step Circle - Coping with Emotions

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Second Step Circle - Deciding with Emotions

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Second Step Circle - Digital Friendships

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Second Step Circle - Disagreeing with Friends

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Second Step Circle - Excellence Is a Habit

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Second Step Circle - Facing Challenges Together