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"Carrie Chappell is a writer, editor, educator, and translator", originally from Birmingham, Alabama, who later moved to Paris, France (Goodreads, n.d). For the month of July I attended a creative writing program in Paris - Carrie was my teacher. I deeply admire her gentle yet raw approach to writing, and wanted to read some of her poetry.

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6466474.Carrie_Chappell

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"Now I am quietly waiting for
the catastrophe of my personality
to seem beautiful again,
and interesting, and modern.

The country is grey and
brown and white in trees,
snows and skies of laughter
always diminishing, less funny
not just darker, not just grey.

It may be the coldest day of
the year, what does he think of
that? I mean, what do I? And if I do,
perhaps I am myself again."
― Frank O'Hara, Meditations in an Emergency

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"Now I am quietly waiting for the catastrophe of my personality to seem beautiful again, and interesting, and modern. The country is grey and brown and white in trees, snows and skies of laughter always diminishing, less funny not just darker, not just grey.

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"My husband can't reach me.
I can't reach me."

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"Who will wait for me when I'm tired of waiting for myself?"

My time in quarantine felt like someone dragging me by the collar across a gravel rode. For many, it was a time of loneliness, uncertainty and hopelessness. On days where it was difficult to get out of bed and my parents would sit beside me, eyes filled with care, I learned what real love is. This line reminded me that love is not endless, burning sunshine; love is the moon - patience and hope, even throughout the darkness. It is "waiting" for someone, reaching out to them, even when it's difficult or they appear closed off.

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None of her poem's have titles, but instead, numbers. The first poem, titled "1" was strategically chosen because it introduces many of the book's themes: covid, how an adult's parental upbringing influences them, and living in a country who's first language is not your own mother tongue.

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Poem "3"

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The poem entitled "7" follows Chappell washing the dishes, but her thoughts are completely lost in pain. She repeats twice, "I am a woman drinking to get drink", and the words, "rude republic." With the knowledge that she is also a mother, and this poem was written during quarantine, I think that the audience for this poem are mothers who feel trapped within their households, unhappy with their lives. This is by no means a hopeful or happy poem, but I think these mothers need to hear it to know they're not alone in these emotions. Perhaps mother's feel the need to act with nothing but love and gratitude for their children, and feelings of guilt arise when they're unhappy. This poem and its raw honesty is almost telling the intended audience, "It's okay to feel this way."