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1. Animosity between participants (divorced parents and ex in-laws).

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When no core teachers show up for an IEP meeting and the main teacher that was failing the student didn't show up either. Trying to keep the parent calm.

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Challenges:
1. Parents were upset with decisions being made
2. Emotional/accusations of "giving up"
Celebrations:
1. Decisions reflected data and were the result of several months of hard work

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Parent came in angry about services for student; after meeting, realized their child wasn't truthful and there was support being provided

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Challenges:
- Parent was upset about student not being able to complete project after they chose not to do it.
- Parent was irrate and unreasonable to ideas presented about their student.

Learned:
- Stick with original boundaries/guidelines set for student.
- More open communication between parent/student/teacher

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Meeting with an advocate. Meeting was supposed to be an intake meeting...turned into a 3 hour IEP meeting. Advocate was very aggressive and refused to let anyone leave the meeting without threatening to redo the meeting....took us 3 hours to finally get them to realize it was not an IEP meeting...we celebrated that!

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Challenge:  Parent felt Gen Ed teachers weren't following accommodations in IEP.  Celebration:  Parents felt they were heard and team was going to intervene and help.

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Challenge:  Parent felt Gen Ed teachers weren't following accommodations in IEP.  Celebration:  Parents felt they were heard and team was going to intervene and help.

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Parent did not understand why child was not allowed to go to an academic lab. Supporting staff was required and many people had to get involved to explain.

Challenge to maintain professionalism.
When and how to refer to IEP and 504 to help explain.

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I was new as an ESL coordinator and Psych was new.  We never met each other, and did not agree on intended outcome.  Horrible!

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Challenge:  Parent was just looking to argue and wasn't open to discussion.

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Challenge:  Parent was just looking to argue and wasn't open to discussion.

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Angry parent kept stating/threatening to bring in lawyer/sue for "not providing services"

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Very upset parent thinking we did not pay enough attention to the childs needs.

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Very upset parent thinking we did not pay enough attention to the childs needs.

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Challenge: Explaining expectations of the classroom to a parent that has unreasonable expectations

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Challenge: Explaining expectations of the classroom to a parent that has unreasonable expectations

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1. prepping
2. Learning about family dynamics and maybe a different approach for the student

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*Collecting all data and being prepared
*Emotions from family
*Knowing just the right words to communicate
*Reassuring the family that there is support

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Knowing the child and their needs well in order to properly communicate with the parent.

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challenge: helping parents understand the educational system

learning: how other cultures view parenting/special education

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Agendas help make sure that the meeting isn't prolonged and can stay on track!

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Difficult meetings usually show a parent is invested in their child. I will take this over a parent who does not seem to care. Meetings go better if communication is happening prior, especially verbal communication rather than emails.

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When the team came together with collaborative ideas to help the student and no idea was shot down

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Challenge: Parents used the meeting as an opportunity to tell me and my co-teacher all the reasons they did not believe we were adequate teachers.                                                    Additional Challenge: A fellow teacher encouraged the parents to continue bashing us. After the meeting, when I tried to address it, they doubled down on why they thought it was appropriate.                  There were no celebrations when it came to this meeting.

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Challenge: Parents used the meeting as an opportunity to tell me and my co-teacher all the reasons they did not believe we were adequate teachers.                                                    Additional Challenge: A fellow teacher encouraged the parents to continue bashing us. After the meeting, when I tried to address it, they doubled down on why they thought it was appropriate.                  There were no celebrations when it came to this meeting.

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When the parent appears to not have their child's best interest(s)

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Challenges and Celebrations for Difficult Meeting:

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Challenges and Celebrations for Difficult Meeting:

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Challenges:
-Parents got stuck on wording
-Members only talking in the negative
-Parents wanting to compare or talk about their other child
Celebrations:
-Able to come to an agreement on things
-Know all are there for good of student

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Having everyone attend a meeting.

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504 meeting with a trauma student who is ODD. The teachers were shocked at the behavior she displayed during the meeting. I wish I could have supported the team better after the meeting.

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1. Parents not attending or blaming staff
2. Not enough prep time for meeting

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Parents brought an advocate (on the phone) without telling us.  They wouldn't call her an advocate, just a friend.  She took over the meeting and was really mean to me.  She made me cry and want to quit my job.

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Parents brought an advocate (on the phone) without telling us.  They wouldn't call her an advocate, just a friend.  She took over the meeting and was really mean to me.  She made me cry and want to quit my job.

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Parent makes excuses for student behavior and uses diagnosis as an excuse.
Disagreements on how to deal with behavior

Learned - Parent wants child to be cared about

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Important that the all team members are heard. Including the student.

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Important that the all team members are heard. Including the student.

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Challenges: Running around in circles, not getting much done due to hostility and/or blame from parents.

Celebration: Working together to support a student.

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1.  Having enough time.

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Parents getting hung up on things that happened in the past and don't think the things they want to be done are being done.

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Challenges (More with Initial Eval/MET)
1. Family did not like Diagnosis
2. Family did not understand process

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Parent feeling we are being unfair to their child
Celebrations: Provided data and examples and parent remembers they do see those behaviors occasionally as well.

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Sometimes we spend too much time and energy anticipating the meeting.  The team tries to rehearse every possibility when we don't know what exactly the parents want.

Being prepared and knowing what are options are can make the meeting go more smoothly

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When advocates speak for the parents

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parents only talking about all their home problems, and not focusing on their child.

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parents only talking about all their home problems, and not focusing on their child.

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1. Advocate talks over people.
2. Parent appears frustrated

Celebration
1. Parent ended up happy with the outcome
2. Student is making growth

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1. Parent dynamics
2. not being aware of other meetings with teachers that I was not apart of

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1. emotions from parents from data being presented

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Parents wanting services (para) for student when there is not data to support a need.

Open communication while sharing data.

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defending a colleague in a professional way

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defending a colleague in a professional way

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Combative parents especially when they try to pick apart the IEP and are accusatory as if they know more than me about the job. I tend to seize up at that point.

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Learn how to handle difficult people

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The amazing team I work with at Park Meadows had all the data ready to present to parents for a smooth transition through the meeting.

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1. Parent misunderstanding the process and being verbally abusive to staff
2. Parent/family members screaming at staff
3. Knowing when to pause/stop the meeing

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Celebration: The general education teacher was wonderful in sharing and explaining a behavorial issue the student was having, when the parent was making references that it was the staff's fault for the behavior

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Celebration: The general education teacher was wonderful in sharing and explaining a behavorial issue the student was having, when the parent was making references that it was the staff's fault for the behavior

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1. Challenges: Team members were negative and focusing on what the student is not currently doing rather than what we can do to best support the student

Learning:  Team members need a refresher in meeting etiquette

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1. There was little parental involvement.
2. The parent was a single parent and struggling to keep the family afloat

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Parents upset due to para minutes being reduced

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Parents upset due to para minutes being reduced

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Meetings with advocates can be challenging because they tend to be combative. 

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Meetings with advocates can be challenging because they tend to be combative. 

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Fantastic: When you think it is going to be a bad meeting, it really isn't! You never know!

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1. Challenges: Gen Ed teachers not preparing for the meeting.
2. Learning: DIR meetings are effective

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End of quarter parents frustrated with students grades and required a meeting of the team. We were prepared going into the meeting with a plan for success and meeting went well.

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Having an agenda has been super helpful for me. It keeps the meeting from being derailed. Concerns can be tabled and addressed later.

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Combative advocates

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Team, parent, and lawyers all agree on placement but nobody can verbally say we agree :/  After a 3 hour meeting reviewing IEP

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Team, parent, and lawyers all agree on placement but nobody can verbally say we agree :/  After a 3 hour meeting reviewing IEP

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C: Parents were not happy with the data and situation.
L: The whole team was on the same page to support the student and family.

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Challenges:
1. Family member (but not parent) did not like data presented
2. Family member (not parent) screaming/being verbally aggressive
3. Due to the family member's behavior, team member was unable to fully speak/present ideas without being interrupted
4. Not knowing when to end the meeting

Learning:
1. The family's dynamic

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Challenges:
Getting parents on board with support in and outside of the classroom.

Learning:
Family dynamics and inconsistency between households.

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Learning: Parents anxiety and fears can appear as anger and frustrations.

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Mtg Challenge: Divorced parents were at the same meeting and started arguing with each other instead of focusing on the student's needs at the meeting- very awkward.

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Mtg Challenge: Divorced parents were at the same meeting and started arguing with each other instead of focusing on the student's needs at the meeting- very awkward.

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1. Challenges: Felt attacked from the parent without hearing my side or what is happening in the classroom

2. Celebrations (if there are any): Some parents are happy to hear how much their student is improving in the gen ed classroom

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Parents often just want to be heard and their concerns validated.

Make sure that we don’t get hung up on specific “asks”, and ensure that child’s best interest is focus.

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1-Challenges: emotions of the parents can escalate the emotions of the team
2-Learning: Preparation is key!

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Challenges:
1) Prepping for the meeting - ducks in a row meetings are important to facilitate before a difficult meeting

Learning:
1) How to communicate during a difficult meeting with team members and parents. Opportunities to build relationships

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1. Staff feel stressed so having support and resources help prepare for difficult meeting.

2. It is ok to say no or reconvene.

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Challenge: angry parent over react.

Learning: parents just want to be heard.

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Challenges:
Parent expectations that aren't realistic
Parent outlook on child not the same as behaviors in the classroom
Learned:
Keep consistent data
Be proactive
Open to listening to parents concerns to come to a mutual solution

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1. Staff didn't communicate concerns to parent prior.
2. Mother wasn't on board with testing due to lack of communication - communication throughout the year was important to her.

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Challenges:
1. Parent did not like data being presented
2. Screaming
3. Violence (between parent-child)

Learning:
1. Family dynamics

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1. Important to be aware of facial expressions.
2. Keep a calm body (even when it's difficult)
3. Know when to pause the meeting or tap out.
4. Support your team.
5. It's okay to not know the answer. You can get back to them.

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Challenges
1. Being side-swiped
2. Anxiety

Learned
1. Being more forward working on preparation of the parent
2. Parent did show they were invested in their student

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1. Challenges - Prepping for difficult meetings. Time consuming
2. Learning - opportunities to build relationships and learn to communicate with team members and parents in a difficult meeting

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1. Challenges-
Emotions and frustrations of the parents can put the whole team on edge
2. Learning-
Preparation is critical

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1.  Challenges -
Makes staff feel sad and frustrated.
Time and effort

2.  Learning
How that parent/advocate communicates