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Who are my biggest influences and inspirations?

My number one inspiration in life is my situation now and my family. Living my life today I realized that I still have a lot of things to do in the near future. I have to study hard to give my family another life, I have to prioritize things. Looking at my parents barely even earning money made me ponder of how empty we are, and as I understand every situation and how to live in this realm, it inspired me to become more than who I am today. Seeing the younger version of me made me think that i should move forward and don't stop until I get to where she wanted to become. These situations and things I've encountered molded me to aim for more and reach for the space rather than the sky. And looking at her right now just made me realized that she is my inspiration.

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What is my philosophy in life?

I may not be the only person who is using this but, I will always live my life with this philosophy. Life is not about forcing things and people, if it is intended for you it will find its way towards you. And if you even feel that you are unhappy or not growing with who and where you are now let go. If it is bringing you worries let go. Don't force connections, cause connections can kill and live life as a river go with the flow but don't let the current bring you to the wrong place or people. Know when to stop and know when to start. Don't hesitate to let go of things and people.

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What are some fun facts about myself that others may not know?

1. I don't have a boyfriend since birth.

Yes, you read it right. When I disclose this statement to people, they won't actually believe me, and I realized how funny it is that they don't believe me. As a first-born daughter my priorities are fixed and having boyfriend, sadly, is not part of it. I may have a wild personality, but I also have limits.

2. I don't eat Siomai.

A lot of people love siomai so much but it's a no no for me. I don't really hate siomai it's just that my mouth won't accept it.

3. I embodied green things...

I dont think people didnt notice this yet when it's really of obvious and yes, I love green and most of my things are color green. Green for me symbolizes peace and freedom.

4. I like sunrise more than sunset.

For me sunrise shows hope and new beginning.

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What are some of my future goals and aspiration?

Surviving would be my biggest focus these days. Surviving each day with my tasks complied is my top goal. Why? Because life is not about tomorrow it is now and i should do everything to work well today and leave tomorrow as tomorrow. Worrying for the future is just an additional stress when we are just merely surviving. Future depends on how you survive today and I'm working really hard to become the woman of my dreams, someone who is mentally intelligent, emotionally empowered, and most especially financially stable. And that is what I aspired to become.

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How have these challenges shaped me as a person?

Life and challenges are inseparable, we live to face challenges and these challenges is what make life interesting to worth to live. As we conquer our fear and dominate the challenges of life one thing is sure we learned. These challenges of ours is what makes us who we are right now. It is what made us. And as we delve in the ocean of life, sharks and sea monsters are always present, we cannot avoid them, but we should bear in mind that running away from our challenges won't make any difference.  The only thing that we can do is to face them and if we lose it doesn’t mean it's over its just a lesson that we can use for the next fight. Let's take our challenges as a lesson not as a failure. And don't forget to clap for yourself, cause you worked endlessly to get there.

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What are some of the challenges I faced in life?

We all face countless obstacles in our lives. There are moments when we are put to the test, but as the saying goes, God will put us through challenges that we can overcome. As for me, the biggest obstacle I've faced lately has been thinking. As they say, our minds are our worst enemies, therefore we need to control them, so they don't control our emotions. In addition, speaking in front of others has been really difficult for me because of my trauma; it feels like I'm being dumped into a freezing ocean, but happily, I've already learned to live with this dread. Money is incredibly important and necessary for students, and we can't deny that this is one of the challenges that everyone faces. Living far from home is something else I view as a challenge. Moving away from home and living without my parents has been one of my biggest challenges, so at first, I was worried of how things would turn out. However, as time passed and I remembered why I was moving out, I ultimately realized that I have no choice but to stay put. How we handle and go about our daily lives presents another difficulty. Every day presents a challenge, and the only way we can meet this challenge is by surviving it.

As we face these challenges of ours, we may not forget what and where we truly meant to soar.

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What are some of my proudest accomplishments?

Well, I may have a lot of things to answer in this question, but I think the most suitable answer for this question is surviving every day. Yes, surviving in our studies, in the challenges if life, in our problems, in our silent battles is such a huge accomplishment that we should be proud of. Waking up every morning and having a coffee is such, going to school as well, and seeing the darkness and light mixed. Because not everyone can handle the storms in life, and we should be proud that we are still living though we are just merely surviving at all.

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I don’t really have particular hobby in life but one thing that I love to do is journaling. Writing in my journal notebook is so therapeutic, I get to write my emotions there and my rants in life. I tend to write my problems and feeling in my journal that sharing it and I think it is one of my hobbies. Another thing that I really love to do that doesn’t really make sense well I mean it do make sense but not really and that is watching K-dramas like I am obsessed with watching K-dramas these days. And the cutest hobby that I have is listening to music every moment of the day, my day is not a day without music even when I am writing this blog I’m listening.

Lately I focused my interest on learning Syntax but I just failed the midterm exam and its very unreasonable. These days I’m also more passionate about learning my course for this semester. Another thing is I am practicing self-care and taking it more seriously.

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As of the moment, I am now in my college journey and living in one of the prayers I asked from God. Since the first semester had passed it was all about adjusting for the new transition of my life, but I still got myself in the Dean’s List. And I am here now, worrying less about my class standing and only thinking about how to survive college without failing a course.

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My Senior Highschool Steps

When I reached Senior Highschool finally something changed, I got to transfer to another school where no one knows me and I have no record that is being set. I pursued Science Technology Engineering and Mathematics as my Senior Highschool strand though it was challenging and hard I’m still happy because I can finally act and go to school as normal student. I kept my head low and act quitely, it was nice to go to a school where you don’t have to worry for your exam because people there wont judge me if I fail because they don’t know me at all. I can finally choose whether to study or not and to sleep early than studying for the test. I can really say that this level of mine is the chilliest one. But even if I don’t study a lot anymore and worry less I still managed to graduate as a With High Honor.

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My Junior Highschool Journey

When I stepped in my Junior Highschool journey nothing change but the competitiion and peoples expectation even worsen. There are even times when I got depressed for not topping the class as before, I thought it was over. In my highschool days I experienced different types of things, betrayal, failed friendship, fake friends, failure and it was when I had my first traumatic experienced. Junior Highschool was still a race between myself and the others. Even through the things that I surpassed, I graduated Junior Highschool as a With High Honor and the top 1 of the class, though it was a nice feeling to have achieved that I still wished that I should have listen to myself and let me rest and forget how people think.

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My Elementary Journey

I started my studies different from other kids as I skipped Day Care and Kindergarten, I directly enrolled to my Elementary school. As I started Grade 1 I also started to gain peoples attention for a reason that I topped the class and since then I had to maintain that standing of mine, at a very young age I learned to compete with my classmates because of people. I thought that if I fail to top the class again people will call me ‘bogo’ and throw criticism against me and my family. I performed really well in my academe and in extracurricular activities. I graduated as a valedictorian in my class,  I was so happy at the time I delivered my speech thinking that I made my parents proud and happy. But I felt sorry to my younger self for she had to suffer the cruelty of society and she didn’t fully experienced a normal life and experience in her Elementary Days.

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I was born in Tag-amakan, Asturias, Cebu I lived there for 8 years. Living in that place would be the best times of my life. We had a small ‘bahay kubo’ and we also had a rice field and own carabaos. We lived a simple life there yet full of joy and memories and I always wanted to go back on that place and I should have stayed there. That place will have a very special place in my heart for there I learned that true happiness originates from simplicity.

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Me as friend, actually I have a very flexible character in terms of the friendships that I have but to sum it all up, I am someone who acts as the mother of the group, I care a lot for my friends and I treat them as if I’m the one who bore them. And I am someone who becomes the bridge of everyone, I serve as someone who they can use to meet half way. And most of my friends feel comfortable around me which made me really happy because I want to be their safe place.

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l Me as sister I actual don’t want to include this but I think I have to. As a sister my siblings always see me as terror and unfriendly ‘ate’, I act like I don’t care about, act like a boss, always order them what to do and as someone who grew up with a not so affectionate family or declining words of appreciation as our love language I sometimes forget to tell my siblings how much they mean to me because I don’t know how to say ‘ I love you to them’ I don’t know how to  say ‘I miss you’ and sadly I also don’t know how to show my appreciation to them even if I always want to. I will do everything for them literally everything.  I am doing my best for them and I don’t want them to walk into the path that I walked in.

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Me as a daughter well not just a daughter but the eldest daughter I grew up becoming more responsible than my actual age. As a first born daughter I saw all my parents lapses and good sides, I grew up with them and learned lessons with them. I am always obedient and trustworthy to my parents as I should and set standards for my siblings as I am the one they should get lessons from. Also, I think every first born child always has this mentality that they should be responsible and the first one to repay for their parents investment. As a daughter I would say that I am my parents first investment and I should not fail.

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Who am I?

In a literal way I am Bea Bengzon Arnibal, the oldest daughter of Janice Bengzon Arnibal and Michael Vasquez Arnibal. My literal age is 19, acting like I am 22 sometimes and often times I act like I’m 16 and currently in my college level.

As a person I always prioritize myself first before other people. Lately, I realized that mastering to choose your inner peace makes you ponder of tons of things. As a person who has a very joyful personality, I tend to blend well with everyone but neither of them truly knows who I am. I don’t share my problems with other people even if they share their problem with me because I believe that you are the only one who can win your battle and silent victory are the best ones. I am a person who have a strong stand in life though not all the time, if I say no, it will always be no and nobody can change it. Another characteristic that I have is when I hate someone, and I don’t like the person I won't make effort nor try to be plastic in front of that person.

As someone who is really careful of creating connections with others, I always reflect on things within me, and I diverge every time I feel unpleasant energy. I am someone who don't hesitate to cut ties with people for my inner peace. I always protect myself especially from people cause no one would.

Many people see me as someone who is strong and fearless, but little did, they know that I have a lot of fears and I am also weak. I fear failure, I fear people and I am not strong I am just pretending to be one.  All in all, she is someone you cannot predict and guess, she is someone that is very complex and a semi-independent clause and she is Beatrice.