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I would change my counterclaim reason and choose other quote and make rewrite the connection.

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I’ll revise my second body paragraph by adding more thinking implications. This will make the picture of my argument connection to reason stronger.

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I am going to use stronger evidence to support both the counterclaim and rebuttal to make it better

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I plan to revise this paragraph by adding more in-depth analysis in the justification sections to provide a deeper understanding of the evidence. This will help strengthen the connection between the evidence, its implications, and the overall argument.

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This is my first body paragraph. I noticed this is my body paragraph where I did more mistakes. I will improve this paragraph by be focus and make sure that the quotation connects to my claim and my explanation. 

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Samia Mungabusi

My plan for fix the paragraph is first find the strong piece of evidence and explain in different way.

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I'm planed to revise my counterclaim and rebuttal paragraph depending in my feedback from the teacher and my analysis that I didn't use a strong quote(evidence). In addition I will focus in inprove the connection with the rest of my essay.

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I plan to revise my counterclaim paragraph by finding better evidence for the rebuttal part. I think that I could find even better, more relevant evidence for the rebuttal.

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I would change my understanding on explanation/justification for my evidence on the second paragraph and check my evidence before I use it. 

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This is my second body paragraph, I will focus on improving this paragraph because it was incomplete, it need more information, precise evidences, and give specific examples of why the use of the internet becomes an addition that causes us to wast our time without realizing it.

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I will revise my Cc&R to draw the connection between them even more clearly by using the same key words

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I am planning to add another evidence. I will

make sure that evidences are connected and have a clear transition between them.

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I would change my first paragraph. I And I will change my evidence for stronger.

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I will revise this paragraph by adding more detail information and try to understand the quote more better at what I said

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I'll revise my second body paragraph because I choose a weaker reason on this paragraph and I'll make it more stronger.

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I want to add one more evidence into my 2nd body paragraph. I want to focus on explanation of my new evidence and transition between it.

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I'm going to choose a better evidence that address the counterclaim

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I plan to find another quote that is connected to the internet. Then I will focus on paraphrasing my sentences so it doesn’t plagiarize the texts.

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I’m gonna revise my body paragraph #1, because I have to use the better evidence. And the main point is to make it clear for readers, so they will understand what I mean.

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I would expend my paragraph analyzing and add one more strong evidence to it🙂

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I would change my first body, I would change my evidence !

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I'm going to choose a better evidence for the rebuttal

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I would like to fix my second body paragraph by explaining the quote successfully and selecting a better quote to support my reason

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I would change the justification to be more clear and detailed.