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1. through this piece, values were shown through hard work and perseverance. maybe could add in even stronger values.

2. Wording was probably the main thing, as well as adding in sensory details.

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1. I think I showed growth through the process of slowly getting better at a skill and not giving up

2. I need to work on run on sentences, I can fix this by rereading my work and splitting up long sentences

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1. I had to write 2 essays because the first one was very creative and philosophical but it mention nothing about what the prompt was about so I made another one and it came out pretty good and showed how I improve by completely restarting and making a new one.

2. The areas that I could work on for the new one I don't know for now but what I've heard from some peer members that read it is that its good but good is not the answer im looking for but what I've seen in my own work is that i need more connections and vocab.

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1. I showed personal growth by showing how even though the person who was there to watch me made me nervous, by the end of the race and during it, I was pretty calm and realized that I didn't need to be nervous at all

2. Showing a little bit more personal growth by adding more details and clarity to my writing about how it made me feel when Nikki came to watch me and comparing how I felt at the beginning to how I felt at the end

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1. I showed personal growth through what I have been doing by taking in constructive criticism positively and applying that the more I write my papers.

2. I need to work on making sure that I continue to apply the feedback that I get to my papers and show that they improved.

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1. I showed growth as I had a problem with something and overcame it to see the other perspective

2. I received feedback on using better sentences, and words. I will do things by replacing some words and sentences by using better ones

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1. I showed personal growth in the sense of showing how my work ethic and how hard I worked to achieve what I wanted.

2. An area I received feedback on was that my sentences seemed to be a little choppy, so my plan is to combine some to make it better.

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1. I wanted to show how much I love children and I did that by having my dream job be a mom. I have grown enough to be confident in raising children.

2. I need to connect the paragraphs instead of letting them stand on their own. I am going to achieve this by connecting the last sentence of the paragraph to the first sentence of the next paragraph. I will also connect simple sentences making them more complex.

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1. I personally don't think I did a very good job with this essay cause I wrote it very quickly and forgot sentence structure and good grammar. there was personal growth in it however with how I've continued deer hunting throughout my life

2. my sentence structure and grammar received negative feedback rightfully so and I didn't even split up my paragraphs I will make sure to be more careful about it hopefully by giving myself more time on the final draft

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1. I discovered my passion and what I want for my future through my grandpa and his dedication

2. I received a lot of feedback on choppy sentences and I will fix that by revising the specific sentences in question

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1. I showed personal growth by explaining that I lost self-esteem, but regained that confidence back when transferring. I became a better leader, friend, and person.

2. I need to work on more complex vocab and sentences, I also need to go more in depth why I chose to come to lcs and add more info on it.

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1. The personal growth I demonstrated in my writing was growing self-confidence and learning to make friends. I showed this by sharing what an impact the Concordia shooting sports team made on my life and what their friendship sparked in me.

2. I received feedback on my writing craft, I was told that I need to connect my first and second paragraphs better (which I agree with), I plan on fixing this by receiving more feedback from others to find a better way to connect my paragraphs.

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1.My personal growth was shown by being unhappy with where I work and taking the leap of faith to find a job that better fits me so I can be more help to others and thrive in my self-confidence

2. I had a few miss-spelled words and extra spaces. I’m going to go back in and clean up any grammar mistakes and make sure I don’t have any run-on sentences.

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1 I show what I learned about my family through the story of my grandmother living with us

2 I need to fix the flow and transitions. I will look back with fresh eyes and make changes as I see fit.

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1. I showed personal growth in my narrative by adding more vulnerability and I feel like I did better with that in this essay. I would like to add more detail to my essay thought instead of just telling the story.

2. I got a lot of feedback on repetitiveness especially in the last paragraph. I agree with that feedback after reading it back because a lot of the sentences sound similar. I plan to go back to those areas and fix the repetitiveness.

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I showed a lot of passion for little kiddos, by telling a tory that isn't pleasing but it doesn't make me love them less

There is specifically one paragraph I want to change the content of its the paragraph 3 on communication.

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1. the personal growth I showed through my essay is perseverance in the face of challenges and never backing down no matter what comes my way

2. I need to fix the run ons and my essay was too long. I also need to use more advance vocabulary

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1) I showed personal growth in my essay by including details from when I was a kid and the changes that I have had since then.

2) I received feedback in my structure, when editing I hope to provide a clearer organization pattern.

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1. I showed growth through events but could go more in depth

2. Some sentences seem choppy in a few paragraphs. Need to have better flow.

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1. I showed personal growth by including ways that my dad has both challenged and impacted the person I am today

2. I received feedback on sentence structure. I can make my sentences more complex with variety by making sure I am not repeating anything but still able to get the same point across.

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1 .I showed personal growth because at the beginning I wanted to win everything but at the end I realized that its not important to win just have fun.

2. Don't uses as many I's because it gets repetitive and I fix that by not using I and thinking of other words to replace it.

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1. I showed a little personal growth with how what I wrote about changed how I think about certain things

2. I need to explain things more and need to have more variety and not be as repetative

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1. Some personal growth that I showed throughout this rough draft is having a better work ethic in what I did. I showed this by explaining what I did previously and what I do now.

2. One of the things that I need to work on is my use of better vocabulary. I'm going to work at the boring words and bring them more to life with it still flowing well

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1. I showed personal growth through the lessons my dad, taught me. He taught me to be hard-working and never give up. He also taught me to Honor or military and be a servant to others.

2. I am going to work on my vocabulary using more unique sentence patterns and showing the story rather than telling it. I also need to work on my conclusion, I used too many sentences that meant the same thing differently.

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1. I showed personal growth in how I loved building with legos as a kid, and how I grew up in that and decided to be a construction plumber.

2. I need to work on sewing more vulnerability throughout the essay and possibly add more sensory details

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1. I have been struggling with my vocab through the 3 different essays so I tried to improve my vocab through my final essay and also went through my other essays to revise. Added more vulnerability and sentences flow through my writings

2. advancing my core values and vulnerability, and being able to open up within my writings.

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I showed how much that person helped me and that they showed me what a good person is supposed to look like and how to become that person

Using a little bit better sentence structure, but they said it was easy to read.

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1. I showed personal growth in my narrative by showing how we went from overlooked and not super confident to confident.

2. The only area was for punctuation, so I need to go back and see where I messed up in that area.

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CJ

1. I showed better improvement through my sentence flow and the difference in sentences

2. I got a 3 on vulnerability. I am going to try and get better vulnerability by giving examples of my personal life and things I don't tell everyone

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Put your name at the top of a padlet.

1. Based on personal knowledge of the intent of your memoir writing, what personal growth did you show through your narrative, how did you show it?

2. What is one area on the rubric that you received peer feedback on, that you are going to work on? How do you specifically plan on achieving that?