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"She says she can see her future grandchild in the mirror, and she tells her daughter to look. When the daughter looks into the mirror, she sees her own reflection" (Tan 128).

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⁻Waverly and her mother had always miscommunicated with one another
-Jing Mei and her mother disagreed on the views of Jing Mei's life and what to do with it
-Lena misunderstands her mother's story and decides to act upon it by hurting her mother to "help" her.
-Rose becomes angered at her mother for relying on religion instead of saving Bing right away
-This theme is relevant throughout the novel because the mothers and daughters have different backgrounds and so they have different views on certain things
-the mothers lost themselves when they immigrated to the United States by facing hardships such as the loss of a child and the growing up of their daughters
-their daughters played a role in losing of self by miscommunicating with their mothers and disobeying them making the mothers feel helpless as they lose their Chinese background

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“Why you do this?” My mother has a wounded sound in her voice, as if I had put the list up to hurt her. I think how to explain this, recalling the words Harold and I have used with each other in the past: “So we can eliminate false dependencies . . . be equals . . . love without obligation . . .” But these are words she could never understand. So instead I tell my mother this: “I don’t really know. It’s something we started before we got married. And for some reason we never stopped.” (Tan 140)

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Mothers struggle with mediating their chinese background with their "new" American environment because the mothers do not like the American environment and wants their daughters to adapt to Chinese background even though they grew up in American upbringings. I would consider the mothers' struggles to be less difficult than the daughters' struggles with biculturalism because the daughter has to adapt into Chinese ways when they started out and adapted to American backgrounds.

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- All their mothers constantly tries to prepare their daughters for the American Dream
- Jing Mei sees the American way as doing what she wants and not being forced into doing something she doesn't like
- The daughters are constantly being compared with each other like in the case of Waverly and Jing Mei
- The daughters grew up in America so they're more use to the American way while their mother's want to teach them their chinese ways instead
-The daughters don't understand the ways of their mother and they are embarrassed when their mothers do something that isn't "normal" to them
- The story is told through mother and daughter relationships whether it be them bonding or having a conflict

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"I hated the way she tried to take all the credit. And one day I told her so,
shouting at her on Stockton Street, in the middle of a crowd of people. I told her she didn’t know anything, so she shouldn’t show off. She should shut up." (Tan 149)

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"She was quiet for a while. “Why do you not speak up for yourself?” she finally said in her pained voice. “Why can you not talk to your husband?” “Ma,” I said, feeling drained. “Please. Don’t tell me to save my marriage anymore. It’s hard enough as it is. “I am not telling you to save your marriage,” she protested. “I only say you should speak up.” (Tan 170)

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"My mother looked at me and smiled. “Only you pick that crab. Nobody else take it. I already know this. Everybody else want best quality. You thinking different.”
She said it in a way as if this were proof—proof of something good. She always said things that didn’t make any sense" (Tan 183)

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"And I thought she could see through me and that she knew I was the one who had caused Arnold to die. I was terrified" (Tan 133)

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"I worried that Harold would someday get a new prescription for his glasses and he’d put them on one morning, look me up and down, and say, “Why, gosh, you aren’t the girl I thought you were, are you?” (Tan 135)

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“At first I thought it was because I was raised with all this Chinese humility,” Rose said. “Or that maybe it was because when you’re Chinese you’re supposed to accept everything" (Tan 135)

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"And after my talk with Rose, I felt better about myself and I thought, Of course, Harold and I are equals, in many respects" (Tan 135)

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“No tip!” She tossed her head back with a triumphant smile. And while my mother used the restroom, I slipped the waiter a five-dollar bill" (Tan 146)

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"When I was first married, she used to drop by unannounced, until one day I suggested she should call ahead of time. Ever since then, she has refused to come unless I issue an official invitation" (Tan 147)

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“This is not so good,” she said at last. “It is just leftover strips. And the fur is too short, no long hairs" (Tan 148)

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Merry Go Round 1: In what ways do the mothers struggle with mediating their Chinese backgrounds with their “new” American environments? In what ways do the daughters struggle to balance both their Chinese background and American upbringing? Would you consider the mothers’ struggles with multiculturalism more or less difficult than the daughters’ struggles with biculturalism? Explain why and your reasoning. 

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Merry Go Round 1: In what ways do the mothers struggle with mediating their Chinese backgrounds with their “new” American environments? In what ways do the daughters struggle to balance both their Chinese background and American upbringing? Would you consider the mothers’ struggles with multiculturalism more or less difficult than the daughters’ struggles with biculturalism? Explain why and your reasoning. 

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Merry Go Round Question 2: In the novel, there are many instances where the mothers of the mothers, mothers, and daughters struggle to find themselves and their agency in a heavily patriarchal society. What are some examples of the women finding their own voice and freedom amidst these social structures?(you can use feminist critical lens)

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Merry Go Round Question 2: In the novel, there are many instances where the mothers of the mothers, mothers, and daughters struggle to find themselves and their agency in a heavily patriarchal society. What are some examples of the women finding their own voice and freedom amidst these social structures?(you can use feminist critical lens)

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Merry Go Round Question 3: On p. 243, Ying-ying describes Lena saying. “My daughter looks but does not see” (Tan 213). In what ways is this relevant to all the mothers and daughters? How is this theme of seeing past literal sight relevant throughout the novel? In what ways did the mothers lose themselves and their identities when they immigrated to the United States? What role did their husbands and daughters play in this losing of self? Provide examples.

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Merry Go Round Question 3: On p. 243, Ying-ying describes Lena saying. “My daughter looks but does not see” (Tan 213). In what ways is this relevant to all the mothers and daughters? How is this theme of seeing past literal sight relevant throughout the novel? In what ways did the mothers lose themselves and their identities when they immigrated to the United States? What role did their husbands and daughters play in this losing of self? Provide examples.

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Merry Go Round Question 4: How is Jing-Mei and the other daughters' stories representative of the American Chinese experience? How does her story reconcile both identities?

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Merry Go Round Question 4: How is Jing-Mei and the other daughters' stories representative of the American Chinese experience? How does her story reconcile both identities?

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"And my mother loved to show me off, like one of my many trophies she polished. She used to discuss my games as if she had devised the strategies" (Tan 149)

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“You think it is so easy. One day quit, next day play. Everything for you is this way. So smart, so easy, so fast" (Tan 150)

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"I already knew what she would do, how she would attack him, how she would criticize him" (Tan 152)

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"I was hoping throughout the dinner that my mother would somehow see Rich’s kindness, his sense of humor and boyish charm, I knew he had failed miserably in her eyes" (Tan 157)

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“A mother is best. A mother knows what is inside you" (Tan 166)

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"And in almost every case, the American version was much better" (Tan 169)

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"That evening and the next day she wouldn’t speak to me. She would say stiff words to my father and brothers, as if I had become invisible" (Tan 149)

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"You can tell the IRS to piss up a rope, but you can’t stand up to your own mother" (Tan 152)

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"Yet each version was true, I was certain of it, at least at the moment that I told it" (Tan 166)

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“Well, I don’t know if it’s explicitly stated in the law, but you can’t ever tell a Chinese mother to shut up" (Tan 152)

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“At first I thought it was because I was raised with all this Chinese humility,” Rose said. “Or that maybe it was because when you’re Chinese you’re supposed to accept everything" (Tan 135)

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"It was only later that I discovered there was a serious flaw with the American version. There were too many choices, so it was easy to get confused and pick the wrong thing" (Tan 169)

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"Over the years, I learned to choose from the best opinions. Chinese people had Chinese opinions. American people had American opinions" (Tan 169)

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“Why can you not talk to your husband?” (Tan 170)

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“You can’t just pull me out of your
life and throw me away" (Tan 173)

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“I said I’m staying here," I announced again" (Tan 173)

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How do the women help one another to find themselves?

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How do the women help one another to find themselves?