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Imm fay and beno is officially tgt

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Ps you did good

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No problem 🙃🙂

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NYA Nya~~

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Hi Kevan, It was a very interesting personal recount, I like the fact that you had very little spelling and grammatical error in your personal recount. I also like the fact that you have the same taste in food like me. Hope we could go out to Pastamania or McDonald's sometimes since we have the same taste in food.

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Check spelling errors and tenses. Choose either one 'i' or 'I'. The elaboration is good for me to understand and you have the structure in your story.

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-Teng Yi

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>UwU<

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A pretty okay story,try to be more precise in the story details,and really learn how to spot mistakes,i found quite a few mistakes in some of your sentences not really making sense, but overall not bad :))
-daren

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dahlia’s recount has a nice introduction . there is also a content and a conclusion to end the recount . she also elaborated the details about her favourite food and why it is .
- noice recount :3

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It was a nice story but could you elaborate why satay was your favourite during your trip back to Indonesia
-Wenghong

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Imm day has a very interesting story of her and her grandmother I read the story and I'm craving for noodles it's so good that her grandmother thought my grandmother will never tell me her secret and imm fay Moshi moshhhhhhhhhhhh

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Very good👌👌👌💯

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mmm interestinggg .  its short , cute  and sweett . it has the structure and elaboration thats all 😐 🤡 .

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Your intro vv interesting , and also I Wan to learn how to cookkkk so ya need to teach me
and ur content is also interesting and you handwriting vv nice :>

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written by kai zhe : )

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The story was ok and at the a bit interesting at the same time.

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Faez personal recount was short but interesting
His personal recount was about lasagna and how much he liked it because his mother made it
When the lasagna came to him he ate it fast
But his writing was a bit hard to understand and
Not writing some word correctly

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♡︎ 𝚂𝚒𝚜 𝙼𝚢 𝙵𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝙱𝚊𝚌𝚔  ♡︎

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♡︎ 𝚂𝚒𝚜 𝙼𝚢 𝙵𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝙱𝚊𝚌𝚔  ♡︎

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𝙾𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚒𝚜 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚋𝚞𝚝, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚝 𝚋𝚢 𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚏𝚒𝚌 𝚍𝚎𝚝𝚊𝚒𝚕𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚒𝚌𝚎
𝙳𝚊𝚑𝚕𝚒𝚊 ʕ •́؈•̀ ₎

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An interesting story I've seen because you got the wrong order 3 times in a row...first it was the spaghetti,next one i wonder what it is and the last one too.all i know is your father in the story which is 🤬 off and furious.food,love,nice,good
🙂🙂🙂🙃🙃🙃🤗🤗🤗🤣🤣🤣

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It's me ur bro💯🤣

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Teng yi has a good personal recount he elaborated a little bit but try to do more and also for your own good try to write nicer hand writing u had the 3 h like triple h but need another three so not bad u tried ur best i know u can do better dont rush bro.i would say u did better than me tho so yeah do not worry pr think negative if u are not satisfyed with ir work think positive haha.all i can say is u did ur best.elaborate more on the last para so try ur best .baek🤙👍

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Very interesting but can do with more details and intro and conclusion 10/10

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There is little structure and details. The order of sequence is 0 and I understand it a bit

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The details are specific and described clearly.The words chosen in your sentences are good too.

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Ur story was nice but just some errors but overall ur story nice bro💯🤣

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I understood your conclusion about your food lifestyle.I really got attached to your introduction as it took my attention and is very interesting to start with.I personally think there's nothing to add or change about your recount.Therefore,your personal recount is really interesting to read about and that you did a great job!( ◜‿◝ )♡

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Pls provide more details.The work is incomplete but if you write more it will be a nice story.Jazz like pizza(❍ᴥ❍ʋ)

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Your introduction is missing I think and pls make your handwriting neater I think your work is okay not to good not or bad you elaborated

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There are specific details and elaboration in each paragraph.it is good,as this writing attracts the viewers to read this personal recount.The writer gives specific information and examples, like 'Oreo fudge' etc. Her personal recount also have paragraphs,which is great! But she could write more about the steps on how to bake,because I'm interested in baking :D
~Joyce :)🤫

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Great she got do Intro ,content and conclusion but i think that her content can be better because she is missing somthing like 5W1H and some of the sentence does not make sense maybe i dont understans her hand writting ?? The other part for me is fine and is good because she got a topic for each part

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Nice story I like the way you write your story.
Some suggestion:
1. Try to put when did you start to eat vegetable and what you eat before this which made you change your mind to eat vegetable
2. Did you face any problems when you want to eat vegetable

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the intro, content and conclusion is present as the recount intro is talking abt how u made the pearls. the content is abt the steps on how to make pearls. and in conclusion, i think that u can add a lil bit more words like saying u hope u can make more pearls? theres some details abt how u made the pearls and also i think theres a bit of mistakes like not making ur story into past tense :D uwuuwuw

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QinYu gave details of his food recount and why that food was nice *the steak was nice because his father was formerly in a F&B cooperation. but what he could improve on is add more content, instead of telling about the nice steak only, maybe he might want to write about other nice/ foods he had ate during the Curcuit breaker period and school holidays. :D

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1.Put ur make into made.
2.There arent alot of information or paragraph although it in quite the correct order but its a very short story
3.whats the conclusion from your story therr wasnt any conclusion
4.but overall your story was simple and straightforward nice :)🦖

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• not much introduction
• no content
• no conclusion
• no elaboration or details
• not in order of sequence
•INCOMPLETE•

Jannah :)

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-imm fay

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braydon has very good story may not be the best but its something and he has a very good connection with food and his grandma

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Aris likes his mom and dad his mom cooks laksa for him which he really likes. He's also very good at writing!
He also do not like curry with too much spice in it.

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Identify the strengths of the personal recount. Consider:

§ Is there structure in the recount i.e. Introduction, Content and Conclusion?

§ For each paragraph, is there elaboration or details that help the reader understand what happened and why?

§ Are the events recounted in order of sequence?

§ Are the use of words and sentences accurate in conveying meaning?

As you are giving your feedback, please be gracious and kind. Use encouraging words to motivate and inspire your classmates and friends

Mr Eddy

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Thank u bro