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Parents Guide to Developmental Milestones

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Parents Guide to Developmental Milestones

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Parents Guide to Developmental Milestones

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A guide to normal childhood development that can help you recognize when your child might need professional attention.

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Positive Parenting Tips: Middle Childhood (9–11 years old)

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Positive Parenting Tips: Middle Childhood (9–11 years old)

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As a parent you give your children a good start in life-you nurture, protect, and guide them.

Learn about developmental milestones, including emotional and social changes for children who are 9 to 11 years old.

Help your child with positive parenting tips, which include topics such as child safety and healthy bodies.

Emotional/social changes

Your child's growing independence from the family and interest in friends might be obvious by now. Healthy friendships are very important to your child's development, but peer pressure can become strong during this time. Children who feel good about themselves are more able to resist negative peer pressure and make better choices for themselves. This is an important time for children to gain a sense of responsibility along with their growing independence. Also, physical changes of puberty might be showing by now, especially for girls. Another big change children need to prepare for during this time is starting middle or junior high school.

Children in this age group might

Start to form stronger, more complex friendships and peer relationships. It becomes more emotionally important to have friends, especially of the same sex.

Experience more peer pressure.

Become more aware of their body as puberty approaches. Body image and eating problems sometimes start around this age.

Thinking and learning

Children in this age group might:

Face more academic challenges at school.

Become more independent from the family.

Begin to see the point of view of others more clearly.

Have an increased attention span.

Positive parenting tips

Following are some things you, as a parent, can do to help your child during this time:

Spend time with your child. Talk with her about her friends, her accomplishments, and what challenges she will face.

Be involved with your child's school. Go to school events; meet your child's teachers.

Encourage your child to join school and community groups, such as a sports team, or to be a volunteer for a charity.

Help your child develop his own sense of right and wrong. Talk with him about risky things friends might pressure him to do, like smoking or dangerous physical dares.

Help your child develop a sense of responsibility-involve your child in household tasks like cleaning and cooking. Talk with your child about saving and spending money wisely.

Meet the families of your child's friends.

Talk with your child about respecting others. Encourage her to help people in need. Talk with her about what to do when others are not kind or are disrespectful.

Help your child set his own goals. Encourage him to think about skills and abilities he would like to have and about how to develop them.

Make clear rules and stick to them. Talk with your child about what you expect from her (behavior) when no adults are present. If you provide reasons for rules, it will help her to know what to do in most situations.

Use discipline to guide and protect your child, instead of punishment to make him feel badly about himself.

When using praise, help your child think about her own accomplishments. Saying "you must be proud of yourself" rather than simply "I'm proud of you" can encourage your child to make good choices when nobody is around to praise her.

Talk with your child about the normal physical and emotional changes of puberty.

Encourage your child to read every day. Talk with him about his homework.

Be affectionate and honest with your child, and do things together as a family.

Child safety first

More independence and less adult supervision can put children at risk for injuries from falls and other accidents. Here are a few tips to help protect your child:

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration recommends that you keep your child in a booster seat until he is big enough to fit in a seat belt properly. Remember: Your child should still ride in the back seat until they are 12 years of age because it's safer there. Motor vehicle crashes are the most common cause of death from unintentional injury among children of this age.

Know where your child is and whether a responsible adult is present. Make plans with your child for when he will call you, where you can find him, and what time you expect him home.

Make sure your child wears a helmet when riding a bike or a skateboard or using inline skates; riding on a motorcycle, snowmobile, or all-terrain vehicle; or playing contact sports.

Many children get home from school before their parents get home from work. It is important to have clear rules and plans for your child when she is home alone.

Healthy bodies

Provide plenty of fruits and vegetables; limit foods high in solid fats, added sugars, or salt, and prepare healthier foods for family meals.

Keep television sets out of your child's bedroom. Set limits for screen time and develop a media use plan for your family.

Encourage your child to participate in an hour a day of physical activities that are age appropriate and enjoyable and that offer variety! Just make sure your child is doing three types of activity-aerobic activity like running, muscle strengthening like climbing, and bone strengthening like jumping rope-at least three days per week.

Make sure your child gets the recommended amount of sleep each night: For school-age children 6-12 years of age, 9-12 hours per 24 hours (including naps).

National Academies: Tools for Supporting Emotional Wellbeing in Children and Youth‎

For more information

CDC's Parent Information (Children 4-11 years) has information to help you guide your child in leading a healthier life.

CDC's Healthy Weight Information has tips for parents: Ideas to help children maintain a healthy weight.

CDC's Youth Physical Activity Basics has information on how to help children be active and play.

CDC's Kid Quest is a CDC website designed for students in fourth, fifth, and sixth grades, to get them to think about people with disabilities and some of the issues related to daily activities, health, and accessibility.

CDC's BAM! Body and Mind is a website designed for kids 9 through 13 years of age to give them the information they need to make healthy lifestyle choices. The site focuses on topics that kids told us are important to them-such as stress and physical fitness-using kid-friendly lingo, games, quizzes, and other interactive features.

My Plate by The U.S. Department of Agriculture provides information on health and nutrition for children over 5 years of age.

AAP's Healthy Children website provides information on feeding, nutrition, and fitness for all developmental stages from infancy to young adulthood. Visit this website to learn more about emotional problems, learning disabilities and other health and development concerns.

Just in Time Parenting's site provides quality, research-based information to families at the time it can be most useful.

National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) has information on safety recalls and safety tips for children riding in motor vehicles, walking, biking, playing outside, waiting at school bus stops, and more.

StopBullying.gov provides information from various government agencies on how children, parents, educators and others in the community can prevent or stop bullying.

Teens Health site for information on healthy eating for children and teenagers, safety tips for your child when you can't be there, and other important health and safety topics.

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Positive Parenting Tips: Middle Childhood (9-11 years old)

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Positive parenting tips and resources for middle childhood aged children (9-11)

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Positive Parenting Tips: Middle Childhood (6–8 years old)

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Positive Parenting Tips: Middle Childhood (6–8 years old)

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Positive Parenting Tips: Middle Childhood (6–8 years old)

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Positive parenting tips and resources for middle childhood (6–8 years old)

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Consejos para la crianza positiva: niños en edad prescolar (de 3 a 5 años)

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Positive Parenting Tips: Preschoolers (3–5 years old)

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Positive parenting tips and resources for preschoolers (3–5 years old)

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Positive Parenting Tips: Preschoolers (3–5 years old)

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Positive Parenting Tips: Preschoolers (3–5 years old)

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Positive Parenting Tips: Preschoolers (3–5 years old)

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Positive parenting tips and resources for preschoolers (3–5 years old)

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Early Childhood Transition: Family Resources 

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Early Childhood Transition: Family Resources 

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http://bit.ly/4p466iB

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Early Childhood Transition: Family Resources

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Consejos para la crianza positiva: niños en la infancia intermedia (de 9 a 11 años)

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Consejos para la crianza positiva: niños en la infancia intermedia (de 9 a 11 años)

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Consejos para la crianza positiva: niños en la infancia intermedia (de 9 a 11 años)

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Consejos y recursos para la crianza positiva de los niños en la infancia intermedia (de 9 a 11 año

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ARA 25 OT TIP SHEET - Proprioceptive System(1)

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ARA 24 OT TIP SHEET - Vestibular System-ARA(1)

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ARA 30 OT TIP SHEET - Letter  Number Formations(1)

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ARA 25 OT TIP SHEET - Proprioceptive System(1)

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ARA 15 OT TIP SHEET - Crossing Midline(4)

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ARA 09 OT TIP SHEET - Heavy Work Suggestions for Home(3)

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ARA 36 OT TIP SHEET - Preparing for Grade One(3) (1)

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America's #1 Child Discipline Program - Dr Thomas Phelan's award-winning, best-selling 1-2-3 Magic Parenting program provides practical, easy-to-learn parenting techniques that WORK!

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Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

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Download CDC's free Milestone Tracker app to complete a milestone checklist for your child. Available for iOS and Android in English and Spanish.

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From child development stages to the latest expert tips on the topic

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Infant Toddler Connection of Fairfax (ITC)

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Infant Toddler Connection of Fairfax (ITC)

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NEW ADDRESS, SAME LOCATION

As of January 1, the City of Fairfax renamed 14 streets, including Old Lee Highway. The new address of the Infant and Toddler Connection (ITC) Administrative Office is:
3750 Blenheim Boulevard
Fairfax, VA 22030
We are aware that some commercial websites, maps and direction services are not yet updated. Please use the new address for the most accurate directions to our office.

Do you have an infant or toddler under 3 years old, and are concerned about your child's development? The Infant & Toddler Connection of Fairfax-Falls Church provides evaluations and early intervention services for infants and toddlers (up to age 3) who have a developmental delay or a diagnosis that may lead to developmental delays.

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office for children infant and toddler connection

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Fairfax County, Virginia - The Infant & Toddler Connection of Fairfax-Falls Church provides evaluations and early intervention services for infants and toddlers (up to age three) who have a developmental delay or a diagnosis that may lead to developmental delays.

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Children and Mental Health: Is This Just a Stage?

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Children and Mental Health: Is This Just a Stage?

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Browse our collection of books on Child Development here:

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Browse our collection of books on Child Development here:

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Emotional and Mental Wellness for Families

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Emotional and Mental Wellness for Families

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Family Media Plan & Media Time Calculator

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Family Media Plan & Media Time Calculator

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​Use this Family Media Plan to create a personalized plan for how all kinds of media are used in your family. ​​

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https://www.parent-institute-online.com/ep/eplibrary.php?3021-L428072

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Family and School Partnerships Fairfax County Public Schools

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Parenting Podcasts | Celebrate Calm | Celebrate Calm

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Celebrate Calm | Stop Power Struggles with Strong-Willed Children.

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THE TOP 5 CALM PARENTING PODCASTS

De-Escalate & Discipline A Defiant Child: My Best Podcast Ever
This 30-minute podcast will change how you handle meltdowns, yelling, and discipline in your home. Ever feel helpless when your kids are out of control or defiant? So do your kids. So learn how to break these negative cycles, lead your child to calm, and show him/her how to deal with frustration. This is rich with insight into your kids...and you. Share this one. It will change relationships.
Click here to listen via Simplecast.

No More Excuses, Kids! You Have Unique Advantages (For Parents & Teachers)
It's heartbreaking to hear kids say, "I'm stupid" and shut down. Your kids have struggles, but I don't want to coddle them or make excuses. In fact, I want you to turn their negatives into positives. Listen until the end for one of the most powerful talks you could ever have with your child or student. SHARE THIS WITH TEACHERS. Click here to listen via SimpleCast.

Want Respectful, Responsible Kids? Do the Step Back.
Yeah, I know we all want the same thing: kids who are responsible, respectful and become good citizens. I'm going to share a very powerful secret that will get your kids to actually step up and be responsible for themselves. It will eliminate so many of the power struggles. This is inspiring! Click here to listen via SimpleCast.

Get Your Strong-Willed Kids To Do Stuff Without the Fight
You have a strong-willed child who automatically resists you at every turn, chooses the harder path, and won't do things the way you want them to be done. Kirk gives you 5 ways to get your kids to do homework, get ready in the morning, apologize, do chores, and more in this important podcast. Click here to listen via SimpleCast.

Discipline When Consequences Don't Work
How do you discipline a child who doesn't respond to consequences? Who doesn't ever want to do things the way you want? How can you discipline without making your child feel like a failure? Kirk will show you how to handle misbehavior, blurting out, lying, stealing, screen time, and much more! Email Casey@CelebrateCalm.com or call 888-506-1871 to get practical help and our free newsletter. Click here to listen via SimpleCast.

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working with add adhd strong willed child

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Parenting Podcasts | Celebrate Calm | Celebrate Calm

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Kirk Martin shares practical strategies to stop the defiance, disrespect, yelling and power struggles in the Calm Parenting Podcast

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The 5-minute daily playtime ritual that can get your kids to listen better.

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The 5-minute daily playtime ritual that can get your kids to listen better.

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The 5-minute daily playtime ritual that can get your kids to listen better : Life Kit

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Called "special time," the strategy is widely recommended by children's health professionals to help reduce behavioral issues in young children. Here's a guide on how to do it with your kids at home.

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A free service that sends tips, information, and resources to parents and caregivers to help give their young child a bright start.

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From American Academy of Pediatrics

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Before you know it, your child has turned four and then five years old. You may find that your somewhat calm child of three has now become a dynamo of energy, drive, bossiness, belligerence, and generally out-of-bounds behavior.

Is your preschooler due for a check-up? See the AAP Schedule of Well-Child Care Visits. ​

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Before you know it, your child has turned four and then five years old. You may find that your somewhat calm child of three has now become a dynamo of energy, drive, bossiness, belligerence, and generally out-of-bounds behavior. Is your preschooler due for a check-up? See the AAP Schedule of Well-Child Care Visits.

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Impacts of Sleep and Screen time on Early Childhood Development

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Impacts of Sleep and Screen time on Early Childhood Development

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How Screen Time and Sleep Impact Early Childhood Development

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11 Language-Boosting Activities for Young Children | The Inclusion Lab

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11 Language-Boosting Activities for Young Children | The Inclusion Lab

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Early childhood is when most kids' language skills really start to "blast off." Through games and activities that encourage lots of talk and active engagement with books, teachers and parents can help young children learn new language skills and rocket their way to reading.

In the popular book Talk to Me, Baby!, Betty Bardige offers some of her best tips for having fun with young children while enriching their early language skills. Today's post brings you 11 of these bright ideas, ready to use in your classroom right away and share with parents to continue the fun and learning at home. (As a bonus, some of these activities can also boost beginning math and science skills, too!)

Role play. Kids love taking on new and different roles-and it's the perfect opportunity to help them expand their language skills. As you engage in everyday activities in the classroom, join them in pretending to be favorite characters from storybooks or TV shows. Encourage children to express the distinct perspectives of their characters; for example, Cookie Monster might want to eat everything in sight, and Goldilocks might forget her manners and need to be reminded.

Look at the world through new lenses. Let your young learners see the world through "rose-colored glasses"-literally! Using gels or cellophane in different colors, cover a simple cardboard frame, a magnifying glass, a cardboard tube, or binoculars. Ask the children to look through and describe the new colorful world they see, or tell a creative story about why the world has become pink, blue, or green.

Pretend to be animals. Animals easily capture the imaginations of children. Read your young learners books that invite you to pretend to be animals or to imitate their movements. As you try out a turtle's crawl or a lion's strut together, get kids talking about what they're doing and feeling. If your classroom has a computer, you can look up more information on the children's favorite animals and how they behave and communicate.

Take a magic carpet ride. Sit with a child or a small group of children on a rug or couch and pretend you're flying off on a magical adventure! Ask them to share their ideas on where you might visit, and begin a story about your adventure that each child can contribute to. Describe the amazing sights you see and ask kids questions that invite their participation: "Look, there's a circus! Can you see the elephants? What are they doing?"

Eat-and talk about-foods from around the world. Let children handle, smell, and taste diverse foods with different flavors and textures, such as coconut, kiwi, curry, passion fruit, chutney, plantains, ackee, chili, papaya, dulce de leche, and tomatillos. (Be sure to check with parents about food allergies first.) Chat with the children about the colors, tastes, and textures, as well as where the foods come from and how they are harvested or prepared.

Experiment with balance. Kids take pride in building super-tall towers and long bridges with blocks. Expand on their block play by asking children what happens when they put something heavy on the very top of a tower or on one end of a bridge or seesaw. What happens when they move a block toward the center or orient it a different way? Find images of real bridges, seesaws, scales, and towers, and talk about what makes them balanced or "tippy."

Make a personal museum. Do your children love collecting things? Many kids find it fun to collect little treasures like rocks, shells, seed pods, toy dinosaurs, buttons, postcards, stamps, or pictures related to a theme. Show children how to arrange their collections in pretty displays using shoe boxes, small jars, or egg cartons. Help children label their treasures (a great way to practice letter writing and recognition) and/or encourage them to give "tours" of their personal museum to visitors.

Practice the ABC song, rhymes, and counting. Songs about letters and numbers are fun and easy to practice during spare moments during the day, such as cleaning up, walking to the playground, and waiting for parents to arrive. Remind parents that they can work these songs into their everyday routines, too: while waiting for a bus, bathing or dressing, or preparing for sleep after the last bedtime story. Parents can make a game of it-"Let's see how many times we can sing the ABC song before the subway comes!"

Make maps. Help your young learners create colorful maps of real and imaginary places. Start by exploring an area or talking with them about an imaginary land. What are the important places or landmarks? Where are they in relation to each other? Which roads or paths go from one place to another? Ask children to represent their ideas visually by drawing a map freehand, cutting out pictures and arranging them on a large piece of paper and drawing roads to connect them, or using different colors and shapes to represent landmarks and creating a key that identifies what's what.

Turn junk into treasure. Make a classroom "recycling center" with your learners. Start by collecting things such as bottle tops, small boxes, buttons, foil, cardboard tubes, Styrofoam trays, egg cartons, yogurt containers, parts to broken toys and gadgets, and other beautiful or potentially useful "junk." As you help the child sort the junk into bins, talk about what things go together. Brainstorm ways to use some of the items to create sculptures, inventions, or play worlds such as a city or a magic garden.

Discuss and try different artistic techniques. Read children beautiful picture books illustrated by collagists such as Ezra Jack Keats, Leo Lionni, and Eric Carle or by quilters such as Faith Ringgold. Talk about the techniques the artists used. Then have child make their own books using materials such as watercolors, paste, paper, cloth scraps, ribbon, foil, string, stamps, greeting cards, and box tops. When they're done, they can "read" their books to you or each other.

What's your favorite language-boosting activity for young children? Share what works for you in the comments below! And for many more tips and ideas on promoting the language and early literacy development of young kids...

Talk to Me, Baby!
How You Can Support Young Children's Language Development, Second Edition
By Betty S. Bardige, Ed.D.

Developed by celebrated early education expert Betty Bardige, this warm and wise book takes you on a fascinating, reader-friendly tour through six stages in a child's language development-starting with baby babbles and ending with kindergarten literacy skills. You'll get proven language-boosting strategies based on up-to-date research, plus an invaluable toolbox of downloadable resources that help you put the strategies into practice (including handouts in English and Spanish).

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11 Language-Boosting Activities for Young Children

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Early childhood is when most kids' language skills really start to "blast off." Through games and activities that encourage lots of talk and active engagement with books, teachers and parents can help young children learn new language skills and rocket their way to reading.

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ASQ:SE-2 Learning Activities & More Packet

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ASQ:SE-2 Learning Activities & More Packet

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Child Development: Growth Stages, Tips & Advice | Parents

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Child Development: Growth Stages, Tips & Advice | Parents

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Learn about kids behavioral development, friends, gifted children, learning disabilities, puberty, shyness, and more from the editors of Parents magazine.

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You can print this chart for FREE

See more free lists!

Use any list from your phone or tablet!

There are lots of different thoughts out there about chores for kids - how many they should do, whether they should get paid for them, etc. My family struggles with these questions like most families, but one thing I know for sure is that chores are an incredibly important part of raising kids to be competent adults.

Chores teach skills that they will not learn in school, but are critical for them to learn before they're on their own. I don't want my kids to be the ones who go to college not knowing how to do laundry, or who get their own apartment but don't know how to cook a simple, healthy meal.

Chores teach responsibility. It's tempting to want to take care of our kids and not make them deal with the drudgery of life, but the drudgery of feeding ourselves, clothing ourselves, and even just doing work that isn't fun is a reality of life, and kids need to learn how to balance the fun with the work.

Chores give kids a sense of accomplishment. As much as my older son hates to cook, he loves how good he is at making an awesome, perfectly browned and melty grilled cheese sandwich.

You can use these age appropriate chore lists to create a chore chart that's just right for your kids.

Chores Bingo is a great way to mix things up and make chores more fun. Unlike daily assigned chores, this bingo board lets kids try - and learn! - different jobs. It works surprisingly well for spreading the work load and keeping it interesting.

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and optional kid-sized clipboard with 4-color pen

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Free Printables: Age Appropriate Chores For Kids

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You can print this chart for FREE See more free lists! Use any list from your phone or tablet! There are lots of different thoughts out there about chores for kids - how many they should do, whether they should get paid for them, etc.

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Milestones | Sesame Street in Communities

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Milestones | Sesame Street in Communities

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Milestones | Sesame Street in Communities

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Your presence, love, and care helps support children's healthy development each and every day.

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Most Effective Ways to Help Kids Who Are Too… | PBS KIDS for Parents

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Most Effective Ways to Help Kids Who Are Too… | PBS KIDS for Parents

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Most Effective Ways to Help Kids Who Are Too Hard on Themselves | Parenting Tips & Advice | PBS KIDS for Parents

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There are some children who are too hard on themselves, so it's important to address this and help them learn to be more gentle. Here are some of the most effective ways to help.

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Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

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Child Development: Infants (0-1 years) | CDC

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What to typically expect as developmental milestone indicators from infants (0-1 year of age).

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Easterseals | Define Five key childhood development areas

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Easterseals | Define Five key childhood development areas

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At Easterseals, we provide valuable child development services to help guide all parents through these early years. We know during this time, a child's brain develops connections that serve as the basis for language, reasoning, problem solving, social skills and emotional well-being.

As an expert partner in your child's well-being, we've enlisted the help of five active animals who represent each of the key growth areas most important to a child's development:

Build strong relationships with your kids to make them feel safe to develop trust, explore, and learn. Healthy social and emotional development lets children cope with emotions and frustrations and navigate peer relationships.

Allow kids opportunities to explore and problem solve from an early age so they can begin to understand the world around them.

Smile, talk, read and listen to your kids every chance you can to encourage language and reading development.

Act silly, play and interact with your kids. These experiences help guide social, emotional, language, physical and intellectual maturity.

Encourage kids to move-movements both big and small are important for physical growth.

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Define Five key childhood development areas

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At Easterseals, we provide valuable child development services to help guide all parents through these early years. We know during this time, a child's brain develops connections that serve as the basis for language, reasoning, problem solving, social skills and emotional well-being.

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Does my child have a mental health concern?

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Does my child have a mental health concern?

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From American Academy of Pediatrics

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Your baby will give you the most important information-how he or she likes to be treated, talked to, held, and comforted. This section address the most common questions and concerns that arise during the first months of life.

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It doesn't take long to develop the confidence and calm of an experienced parent. Your baby will give you the most important information-how she likes to be treated, talked to, held, and comforted. This section address the most common questions and concerns that arise during the first months of life.

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ParenTeen Connect | Parenting Advice | ParenTeen Connect

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ParenTeen Connect | Parenting Advice | ParenTeen Connect

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Make Adolescence Less of a Struggle with ParenTeenConnect.org

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When it comes to being a teen or raising one, couldn't we all use some support? ParenTeenConnect.org can help your family connect and communicate better.

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Stages of Adolescence - HealthyChildren.org

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Stages of Adolescence - HealthyChildren.org

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By: Brittany Allen, MD, FAAP & Helen Waterman, DO

Adolescence is the period of transition between childhood and adulthood. It includes some big changes-to the body, and to the way a young person relates to the world.

The many physical, sexual, cognitive, social, and emotional changes that happen during this time can bring anticipation and anxiety for both children and their families. Understanding what to expect at different stages can promote healthy development throughout adolescence and into early adulthood.

Early Adolescence (Ages 10 to 13)

During this stage, children often start to grow more quickly. They also begin notice other body changes, including hair growth under the arms and near the genitals, breast development in females and enlargement of the testicles in males. They usually start a year or two earlier in girls than boys, and it can be normal for some changes to start as early as age 8 for females and age 9 for males. Many girls may start their period at around age 12, on average 2-3 years after the onset of breast development.

These body changes can inspire curiosity and anxiety in some―especially if they do not know what to expect or what is normal. Some children may also question their gender identity at this time, and the onset of puberty can be a difficult time for transgender children.

Early adolescents have concrete, black-and-white thinking. Things are either right or wrong, great or terrible, without much room in between. It is normal at this stage for young people to center their thinking on themselves (called "egocentrism"). As part of this, preteens and early teens are often self-conscious about their appearance and feel as though they are always being judged by their peers.

Pre-teens feel an increased need for privacy. They may start to explore ways of being independent from their family. In this process, they may push boundaries and may react strongly if parents or guardians reinforce limits.

Middle Adolescence (Ages 14 to 17)

Physical changes from puberty continue during middle adolescence. Most males will have started their growth spurt, and puberty-related changes continue. They may have some voice cracking, for example, as their voices lower. Some develop acne. Physical changes may be nearly complete for females, and most girls now have regular periods.

At this age, many teens become interested in romantic and sexual relationships. They may question and explore their sexual identity―which may be stressful if they do not have support from peers, family, or community. Another typical way of exploring sex and sexuality for teens of all genders is self-stimulation, also called masturbation.

Many middle adolescents have more arguments with their parents as they struggle for more independence. They may spend less time with family and more time with friends. They are very concerned about their appearance, and peer pressure may peak at this age.

The brain continues to change and mature in this stage, but there are still many differences in how a normal middle adolescent thinks compared to an adult. Much of this is because the frontal lobes are the last areas of the brain to mature―development is not complete until a person is well into their 20s! The frontal lobes play a big role in coordinating complex decision making, impulse control, and being able to consider multiple options and consequences. Middle adolescents are more able to think abstractly and consider "the big picture," but they still may lack the ability to apply it in the moment. For example, in certain situations, kids in middle adolescence may find themselves thinking things like:

"I'm doing well enough in math and I really want to see this movie... one night of skipping studying won't matter."

Do I really have to wear a condom during sex if my girlfriend takes the pill?"

"Marijuana is legal now, so it can't be that bad."

While they may be able to walk through the logic of avoiding risks outside of these situations, strong emotions often continue to drive their decisions when impulses come into play.

Late Adolescents (18-21... and beyond!)

Late adolescents generally have completed physical development and grown to their full adult height. They usually have more impulse control by now and may be better able to gauge risks and rewards accurately. In comparison to middle adolescents, youth in late adolescence might find themselves thinking:

"While I do love Paul Rudd movies, I need to study for my final."

"I should wear a condom...even though my girlfriend is on birth control, that's not 100% in preventing pregnancy."

"Even though marijuana is legal, I'm worried about how it might affect my mood and work/school performance."

Teens entering early adulthood have a stronger sense of their own individuality now and can identify their own values. They may become more focused on the future and base decisions on their hopes and ideals. Friendships and romantic relationships become more stable. They become more emotionally and physically separated from their family. However, many reestablish an "adult" relationship with their parents, considering them more an equal from whom to ask advice and discuss mature topics with, rather than an authority figure.

Parents: How To Help Your Children Navigate Adolescence

Children and their parents often struggle with changing dynamics of family relationships during adolescence. But parents are still a critical support throughout this time.

Here are some things you can do:

Help your child anticipate changes in his or her body. Learn about puberty and explain what's ahead. Reassure them that physical changes and emerging sexuality is part of normal, healthy development. Leave room for questions and allow children to ask them at their own pace. Talk to your pediatrician when needed!

Start early conversations about other important topics. Maintain open communication about healthy relationships, sex, sexuality, consent, and safety (such as how to prevent sexually transmitted infection and pregnancy, and substance use). Starting these conversations during early adolescence will help build a good framework for discussions later.

Keep conversations with your child positive. Point out strengths. Celebrate successes.

Be supportive and set clear limits with high (but reasonable) expectations. Communicate clear, reasonable expectations for curfews, school engagement, media use, and behavior, for example. At the same time, gradually expanding opportunities for more independence over time as your child takes on responsibility. Youth with parents that aim for this balance have been shown to have lower rates of depression and drug use.

Discuss risky behaviors (such as sexual activity and substance use) and their consequences. Be sure to set a positive example yourself. This can help teens consider or rehearse decision-making ahead of time and prepare for when situations arise.

Honor independence and individuality. This is all part of moving into early adulthood. Always remind your child you are there to help when needed.

The adolescent years can feel like riding a roller coaster. By maintaining positive and respectful parent-child relationships during this period, your family can (try to) enjoy the ride!

Additional Information:

About Dr. Allen:

Brittany Allen, MD, FAAP, is a board-certified general pediatrician and provides specialty care to transgender and gender nonconforming youth. She is an Assistant Professor of Pediatrics at the University of Wisconsin School of Medicine and Public Health. She is a member of American Academy of Pediatrics Section on Section on Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Health and Wellness and the Wisconsin Chapter.

About Dr. Waterman:

Helen Waterman, DO is a resident physician in pediatrics at the University of Wisconsin. Within the American Academy of Pediatrics, she is a member of the Section on Pediatric Trainees and the Section on Osteopathic Pediatricians.

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Adolescence is the period of transition between childhood and adulthood. It includes some big changes-to the body, and to the way a young person relates to the world. Learn about these different stages here.

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Positive Discipline: Keeping Your Sanity While Getting Your Teens To Cooperate

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Positive Discipline: Keeping Your Sanity While Getting Your Teens To Cooperate

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Positive Discipline:   Keeping Your Sanity While Getting Your Teens To Cooperate

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A young adult who goes away to a college or a job far from home has to build a social support system from the ground up. At the same time, he may have to acclimate himself to a drastically different environment.

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A young adult who goes away to a college or a job far from home has to build a social support system from the ground up. At the same time, he may have to acclimate himself to a drastically different environment.

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From American Academy of Pediatrics

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​​​Adolescence can be a rough time for parents. At times, your teen may be a source of frustration and exasperation, not to mention financial stress. But these years also bring many, many moments of joy, pride, laughter and closeness.

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​​​Adolescence can be a rough time for parents. At times, your teen may be a source of frustration and exasperation, not to mention financial stress. But these years also bring many, many moments of joy, pride, laughter and closeness.

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Listen to the newest epsiode of The Imagine Neighborhood, a kind and kooky kids podcast that helps families talk about the things that matter with the people that matter most!

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Child Development: Toddlers (1-2 years old) | CDC

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What to typically expect as developmental milestone indicators from toddlers (1-2 years of age).

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Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

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Developmental Milestones

Your child's growing independence from the family and interest in friends might be obvious by now. Healthy friendships are very important to your child's development, but peer pressure can become strong during this time. Children who feel good about themselves are more able to resist negative peer pressure and make better choices for themselves. This is an important time for children to gain a sense of responsibility along with their growing independence. Also, physical changes of puberty might be showing by now, especially for girls. Another big change children need to prepare for during this time is starting middle or junior high school.

Here is some information on how children develop during middle childhood:

Emotional/Social Changes

Children in this age group might:

Start to form stronger, more complex friendships and peer relationships. It becomes more emotionally important to have friends, especially of the same sex.

Experience more peer pressure.

Become more aware of his or her body as puberty approaches. Body image and eating problems sometimes start around this age.

Thinking and Learning

Children in this age group might:

Face more academic challenges at school.

Become more independent from the family.

Begin to see the point of view of others more clearly.

Have an increased attention span.

Positive Parenting Tips

Following are some things you, as a parent, can do to help your child during this time:

Spend time with your child. Talk with her about her friends, her accomplishments, and what challenges she will face.

Be involved with your child's school. Go to school events; meet your child's teachers.

Encourage your child to join school and community groups, such as a sports team, or to be a volunteer for a charity.

Help your child develop his own sense of right and wrong. Talk with him about risky things friends might pressure him to do, like smoking or dangerous physical dares.

Help your child develop a sense of responsibility-involve your child in household tasks like cleaning and cooking. Talk with your child about saving and spending money wisely.

Meet the families of your child's friends.

Talk with your child about respecting others. Encourage her to help people in need. Talk with her about what to do when others are not kind or are disrespectful.

Help your child set his own goals. Encourage him to think about skills and abilities he would like to have and about how to develop them.

Make clear rules and stick to them. Talk with your child about what you expect from her (behavior) when no adults are present. If you provide reasons for rules, it will help her to know what to do in most situations.

Use discipline to guide and protect your child, instead of punishment to make him feel badly about himself.

When using praise, help your child think about her own accomplishments. Saying "you must be proud of yourself" rather than simply "I'm proud of you" can encourage your child to make good choices when nobody is around to praise her.

Talk with your child about the normal physical and emotional changes of puberty.

Encourage your child to read every day. Talk with him about his homework.

Be affectionate and honest with your child, and do things together as a family.

Child Safety First

More independence and less adult supervision can put children at risk for injuries from falls and other accidents. Here are a few tips to help protect your child:

Protect your child in the car. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration pdf icon [1.15 MB / 1 page] external icon recommends that you keep your child in a booster seat until he is big enough to fit in a seat belt properly. Remember: your child should still ride in the back seat until he or she is 12 years of age because it's safer there. Motor vehicle crashes are the most common cause of death from unintentional injury among children of this age.

Know where your child is and whether a responsible adult is present. Make plans with your child for when he will call you, where you can find him, and what time you expect him home.

Make sure your child wears a helmet when riding a bike or a skateboard or using inline skates; riding on a motorcycle, snowmobile, or all-terrain vehicle; or playing contact sports.

Many children get home from school before their parents get home from work. It is important to have clear rules and plans for your child when she is home alone.

Healthy Bodies

Provide plenty of fruits and vegetables; limit foods high in solid fats, added sugars, or salt, and prepare healthier foods for family meals.

Keep television sets out of your child's bedroom. Set limits for screen time and develop a media use plan for your family.external icon

Encourage your child to participate in an hour a day of physical activities that are age appropriate and enjoyable and that offer variety! Just make sure your child is doing three types of activity: aerobic activity like running, muscle strengthening like climbing, and bone strengthening - like jumping rope - at least three days per week.

Make sure your child gets the recommended amount of sleep each night: For school-age children 6-12 years, 9-12 hours per 24 hours (including naps)

For More Information

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Child Development: Middle Childhood (9-11 years old) | CDC

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What to typically expect as developmental milestone indicators from middle childhood (9-11 years of age).

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From American Academy of Pediatrics

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Your child should feel confident in her ability to meet the challenges in her life. This sense of personal power evolves from having successful life experiences in solving problems independently, being creative and getting results for her efforts.

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From American Academy of Pediatrics

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Your child is advancing from infancy toward and into the preschool years. During this time, his or her physical growth and motor development will slow, but you can expect to see some tremendous intellectual, social, and emotional changes.

Is your toddler due for a check-up? See the AAP Schedule of Well-Child Care Visits. ​​

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Your child is advancing from infancy toward and into the preschool years. During this time, his or her physical growth and motor development will slow, but you can expect to see some tremendous intellectual, social, and emotional changes. Is your toddler due for a check-up? See the AAP Schedule of Well-Child Care Visits.

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Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

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Developmental Milestones

Skills such as taking turns, playing make believe, and kicking a ball, are called developmental milestones. Developmental milestones are things most children can do by a certain age. Children reach milestones in how they play, learn, speak, behave, and move (like jumping, running, or balancing).

Because of children's growing desire to be independent, this stage is often called the "terrible twos." However, this can be an exciting time for parents and toddlers. Toddlers will experience huge thinking, learning, social, and emotional changes that will help them to explore their new world, and make sense of it. During this stage, toddlers should be able to follow two- or three-step directions, sort objects by shape and color, imitate the actions of adults and playmates, and express a wide range of emotions.

Positive Parenting Tips

Following are some of the things you, as a parent, can do to help your toddler during this time:

Set up a special time to read books with your toddler.

Encourage your child to take part in pretend play.

Play parade or follow the leader with your toddler.

Help your child to explore things around her by taking her on a walk or wagon ride.

Encourage your child to tell you his name and age.

Teach your child simple songs like Itsy Bitsy Spider, or other cultural childhood rhymes.

Give your child attention and praise when she follows instructions and shows positive behavior and limit attention for defiant behavior like tantrums. Teach your child acceptable ways to show that she's upset.

Child Safety First

Because your child is moving around more, he will come across more dangers as well. Dangerous situations can happen quickly, so keep a close eye on your child. Here are a few tips to help keep your growing toddler safe:

Do NOT leave your toddler near or around water (for example, bathtubs, pools, ponds, lakes, whirlpools, or the ocean) without someone watching her. Fence off backyard pools. Drowning is the leading cause of injury and death among this age group.

Encourage your toddler to sit when eating and to chew his food thoroughly to prevent choking.

Check toys often for loose or broken parts.

Encourage your toddler not to put pencils or crayons in her mouth when coloring or drawing.

Do NOT hold hot drinks while your child is sitting on your lap. Sudden movements can cause a spill and might result in your child's being burned.

Make sure that your child sits in the back seat and is buckled up properly in a car seat with a harness.

Healthy Bodies

Talk with staff at your child care provider to see if they serve healthier foods and drinks, and if they limit television and other screen time.

Your toddler might change what food she likes from day to day. It's normal behavior, and it's best not to make an issue of it. Encourage her to try new foods by offering her small bites to taste.

Keep television sets out of your child's bedroom. Set limits for screen time for your child to no more than 1 hour per day of quality programming, at home, school, or afterschool care and develop a media use plan for your family.external icon

Encourage free play as much as possible. It helps your toddler stay active and strong and helps him develop motor skills.

Make sure your child gets the recommended amount of sleep each night: For toddlers 1-2 years, 11-14 hours per 24 hours (including naps)

For More Information

Page last reviewed:

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Child Development: Toddlers (2-3 years old) | CDC

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What to typically expect as developmental milestone indicators from toddlers (2-3 years of age).

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Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

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The early years of a child's life are very important for his or her health and development. Parents, health professionals, educators, and others can work together as partners to help children grow up to reach their full potential.

Children reach milestones in how they play, learn, speak, behave, and move. Read about developments by age group.

Learn how to keep children safe from danger and from becoming dangerous themselves.

Learn about the importance of a child's early years for later health and development.

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Parents and others can work together as partners to help children grow up to reach the full potential for his or her health development.

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Every Child Should Have These Motor Skills

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Every Child Should Have These Motor Skills

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Every Child Should Have These Motor Skills

No two babies develop motor skills at exactly the same rate-not even siblings. But during the first year of life, there are some signs of healthy motor skill development every baby should show. Here are some of them:

Use of both sides of body from birth on.

Mobility in hips and legs when diaper is being changed.

Use of smiles and facial expressions to respond.

Ability to hold head up at three months.

Ability to sit by eight months.

Use of both arms and both legs to crawl by 12 months.

If your baby seems to be developing normally, but something just doesn't "feel"right, trust your instincts. A visit to your child's doctor may reassure you that nothing is wrong. Or, if there is cause for concern, you'll be glad you sought treatment so quickly.

Source: Jacqueline Mast, "Caring for Infants - Trusting Your Feelings," Exchange.

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No two babies develop motor skills at exactly the same rate-not even siblings. But during the first year of life, there are some signs of healthy motor skill development every baby should show. Here are some of them: Use of both sides of body from birth on.