# data[].attributes.body
Amy Schumer says ENOUGH

# data[].attributes.body
Affection Consent
Kids and Consent

# data[].attributes.body
What are your thoughts on these articles about consent?

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Have you ever been uncomfortable when someone stands too close? Some people don't seem to understand that putting their face inches from yours during a conversation can have you squirming and looking for the nearest exit. That person has invaded your personal space.

About Personal Space

The term "personal space" generally refers to the physical distance between two people in a social, family, or work environment.

Think of your personal space as the air between your body and an invisible shield, or bubble, you have formed around yourself for any relationship.

The distance between you and your shield most likely varies from one person to another, depending on a variety of factors, including how well you know the person, your relationship to that person, how much you trust him or her, and your culture. In order to put others at ease, it's important to understand the importance of personal space.

Determining Factors for Personal Space

The comfortable space between you and someone you know well will probably be much smaller than it would be if you barely knew the other person. With a stranger, it is even greater. Typically, people who live in crowded cities have smaller personal space preferences than those who live in wide-open spaces.

Other factors that determine a comfortable personal space:

Female to female

Male to female

Professional relationship - any combination of male and female

Romantic versus platonic relationship

Culture and country

Average comfort levels of personal space distance in the U.S.:

Approximately 0 to 20 inches for intimate couples

Approximately 1-1/2 feet to 3 feet for good friends and family members

Approximately 3 feet to 10 feet for casual acquaintances and coworkers

More than 4 feet for strangers

More than 12 feet for speaking to a large group

General Rules of Personal Space:

These rules vary according to culture and location, so they're not etched in stone. They're here as a guideline for social and professional etiquette.

Here are some basic rules:

1. Never touch anyone you don't know.

2. Don't reach for anyone else's children, regardless of your intentions.

3. Stand at least 4 feet away from a person unless you know him or her well.

4. When someone leans away from you, you are probably in that person's space that makes him or her uncomfortable. Take a step back.

5. If you walk into an auditorium or theater that isn't crowded, leave an extra seat between you and the next person. However, it is acceptable to sit next to someone if the room is crowded.

6. Never lean over someone else's shoulder to read something unless invited.

7. Never go through anyone else's personal belongings.

8. Don't allow your dog to go to the bathroom on someone else's property.

9. Acknowledge personal space on the road. Don't tailgate when driving.

10. Don't fling your arm around someone's shoulder or slap anyone on the back unless you know the person very well.

1. Don't enter a room or office without knocking first.

2. Don't cut in front of people in line.

Personal Space at Work

Observing boundaries in the office is important to maintaining professionalism. However, after working with people for years and getting to know them, these lines may have become blurred, especially if you work in cubicles or have an open office concept. Be aware of other people's reactions, and if they seem uncomfortable, add more space between you.

Keep in mind that others who don't know you well, including supervisors, may misunderstand what they see. That is why you should observe professional distance while at the office and reserve more intimate gestures for after hours.

Work policies:

Be aware of company policies regarding relationships with coworkers.

Don't assume your relationship with a coworker or supervisor is personal.

Avoid hugging or other familiar gestures.

Only step into someone's workspace if you know you are welcome. Be respectful if you sense the person is busy.

Save personal conversations for the lunch break or after hours.

What to Do if Someone Invades Your Personal Space

When someone gets uncomfortably close to you, there are several things you can do. Keep in mind that being direct may hurt the other person's feelings, so before speaking your mind, determine whether or not the issue is worth bringing up.

Ways to deal with space intrusion:

Accept it.

Lean away from the person or take a step back, hoping he or she will take the hint.

Come right out and say you are uncomfortable being so close.

Explain why you need more space. For example, if you are left-handed and the person is too close to your left side, comment on how you need the space to take notes without your elbow being jostled.

Teach Kids How to Protect Their Personal Space

When teaching manners to small children, show them how to protect their boundaries and respect the personal space of others. Explain how important it is to follow the wishes of people who tell them to back off. Make sure you tell them in language they understand.

Some parents use the bubble analogy, explaining that everyone has an invisible bubble around them, and when you get too close, it pops. Also tell your children that they should let you know if anyone tries to touch them inappropriately.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Have you ever been uncomfortable when someone stands too close? Some people don't seem to understand that putting their face inches from yours during a conversation can have you squirming and looking for the nearest exit. That person has invaded your personal space.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
The news that former Vice President Joseph Biden, Jr. has a long history of getting physically close to people, particularly women, raises once again the question of the role of personal space in social interaction. You know from your own experience that when people other than your most intimate partners, friends, or family stand too close, you feel the need to step back within what you feel is a safe zone. It feels creepy to have them right in your face and even worse when they make physical contact.

Research on personal space has a long history in psychology, having established that there is a zone of physical proximity that allows people to feel comfortable in the presence of others. However, there are times when you have no choice but to be physically close to a stranger. You're standing in a crowded train or bus, and the person next to you is just inches away. To keep that closeness from becoming an issue, you do everything you can to establish some sort of invisible barrier. The easiest way to achieve this is by avoiding eye contact. Imagine staring right into the face of the accidental traveler with whom you're sharing a hanging strap. You know that this is a very bad idea, and so you most likely look down and study your phone or your feet.

People can also get very territorial about their personal space. Perhaps you're used to sitting in a specific seat in a class or at a meeting. On one occasion, you arrive a minute or two later than usual. Lo and behold, there's someone in "your" seat! You spend the rest of the time mulling over how uncomfortable you feel in this other spot, as you struggle to suppress the feelings of annoyance you have at the person for occupying your space. Next time, you get there 5 minutes early to make sure to avoid a repeat performance.

Relevant to the study of personal space is a 2017 study of airline passengers by University of Nottingham's (England) Laura Lewis and colleagues. Airlines provide a perfect lab to study how people feel about their personal space due to the fact that seats are close together, there's no escape for the duration of the flight, and there's little you can do to protect yourself from people who don't respect boundaries. Pun intended, Lewis and her colleagues referred to these people as "space invaders." As background for the study, the British authors summarize the 10 key factors that affect personal space. These include gender (including gender role), culture, age, personal preference, interpersonal relationships (feelings and social status), room density, personality ( introvert or extravert), the topics being discussed in a given conversation, environment (indoors vs. outdoors, lighting, vertical space), and context.

On an airplane, Lewis et al. explain, the "proxemics" include "concern for autonomy, control, and privacy" that passengers have within the limits of their own seat (p. 6). You can probably relate to this idea if you've ever spent the majority of a flight making sure you have access to your own armrest or resisting being jammed in by a passenger in a reclined seat in front of you. Apart from physical comfort, these factors also relate to the psychological aspect of comfort, or degree of stress you experience. To examine the factors that predict the psychological aspect of comfort, the British researchers surveyed an international sample of 199 adults ranging from 18 to 70 years (most were 18-30). They began by asking participants to respond to items regarding their personal space preferences. This scale took the form of a visual stimulus of 2 silhouetted people (male and female) shown standing at increasing distances from each other, from close up to just beyond shouting distance. Participants circled the image that they felt represented their preferred distance from a stranger, and their preferred distance from a friend.

The next part of the questionnaire asked 4 open-ended questions in which participants listed forms of personal space invasion on aircrafts, how they felt when their personal space was invaded, what they do to make themselves more comfortable when this happens, and then generally how they interpret the term "personal space." The questions were phrased with respect to a 6-hour flight.

Using those personal space preference pictures, the first set of findings revealed no differences by nationality, age or sex in preferred interaction distances. However, as expected, people preferred to be closer to a friend than a stranger. Moving onto the instances that people listed involving airline travel, there were 3 clear themes. First was bodily invasion of personal space as indicated by having the other passenger either move around or poke the individual with arms or legs. Seats that are too small or close to each other were another aspect of physical over-closeness. The second theme concerned personal space invasion by passengers who monopolized or controlled the space with their belongings. The third theme included a lengthy list of "sensory" invasions that such as excessive noise, smells, poor hygiene, food or drink, and engaging in undesired conversation.

What's interesting about these findings is that, apart from the obvious physical contact and seating problems that comes with airline travel, there were invasions of personal space from the sensory domain that were almost equally troubling for participants. You can probably relate well to this result if you think back on a time when you were seated next to a stranger who just would not stop talking or asking questions. You might also experience this kind of noise pollution if you're near someone in a public space who engages in loud cellphone conversations. Although you might be able to overcome the distraction if you try very hard, it's more likely you'll have to put on headphones to drown out the loud offender.

Participants in the Lewis et al. study reported that, in response to these assaults on their space, they felt a range of negative reactions, with the most common being annoyance, followed by discomfort, irritation, and anger. If the violations involved sensory infractions, participants reported such reactions as nausea and disgust (for smells), claustrophobia, feeling hemmed in, and fidgeting. To overcome these reactions, participants reported that they used a variety of coping methods. Most surprisingly, a number stated that they confront the offender, an approach that is probably more likely to occur on an airplane than in other settings when you can remove yourself from the situation. Additionally, respondents stated that they tried to reclaim stolen space, such as capturing an armrest when the other passenger went to the restroom. Nonverbal strategies also came into play such as sighing, hinting, or turning away. All of these negative strategies were more likely to occur between strangers, according to participants, than between close friends.

Finally, when defining personal space, participants provided responses supporting the literature's definition of this concept as "an invisible boundary surrounding a person which can be broken through spatial invasion or awareness of other people's actions and characteristics" (p. 16).

To sum up, the British study suggests 5 tips for coping when personal space issues occur in your life:

1. Be kind to your friends. You have more freedom to invade the personal space of people you know well rather than strangers, but don't take for granted the likelihood that they won't mind you closing in on them.

2. Look around you. Be respectful and attentive to boundaries, especially in close spaces, and especially when there's no easy escape.

3. Confront if you can, but not if you can't. If confrontation isn't an option, find ways to distract yourself or at least send out signals that the invasion isn't okay.

4. Sniff but don't snoop. Be aware of the sensory intrusions you create by wearing strong scents, talking too loud in public places, and asking overly personal questions of strangers.

5. Learn to read body language. Sensitize yourself to recognize the signals that you have gotten too close by observing the other person's behavior. If you sense you've overstepped, back off.

Personal space is a key component of all relationships, and luckily one that is relatively easy to manage once you understand its importance.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
5 Things You Need to Know About Personal Space

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
The news that former Vice President Joseph Biden, Jr. has a long history of getting physically close to people, particularly women, raises once again the question of the role of personal space in social interaction.

# data[].attributes.body
Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships

# data[].attributes.body
Good Friends vs. Toxic Friends

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
10 Differences Between Good Friends and Toxic Friends

# data[].attributes.body
What are your thoughts on these articles about respect?

# data[].attributes.body
This article was written for parents, but it teaches clear ways to set personal boundaries.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Setting healthy personal boundaries, and being able to recognize and heed others' as well, is paramount for building strong relationships on a foundation of respect. But maintaining boundaries can be complicated. And if you're unused to examining your own, it can feel uncomfortable to begin to do so as an adult. That's why it's so important to teach children about healthy boundaries from a young age. The earlier they learn about their own limits and see the importance of respecting other's, the easier it will be for them to navigate healthy relationships as adults.

What are personal boundaries?

The term 'personal boundaries' covers a whole slew of interactions and relationships. Our boundaries will necessarily change depending on the setting, the people with whom we're interacting, and our own comfort. 'Personal boundaries' apply to a variety of situations as well. Boundaries govern our definitions of personal space, how comfortable we are with lending money, whether or not our opinions of ourselves can withstand external pressure, and more. To teach children the importance of personal boundaries, it's helpful to understand the many manifestations those boundaries have in our relationships.

Quality of boundaries

While it is healthy to have personal boundaries, not all personal boundaries, by definition, are healthy. In certain situations, our personal boundaries may be too rigid, preventing adaptation or personal growth. In others, they may be too open, causing us to take on more than we can handle or to be swayed too easily. To teach children about what makes a boundary 'healthy', parents should know how to identify the traits of unhealthy boundaries.

Rigid boundaries: When personal boundaries become too rigid, they can cause people to become closed-off. They can prevent the establishment of lasting emotional ties in both romantic and non-romantic relationships, as its harder to share thoughts and feelings openly and honestly.

Porous boundaries: Personal boundaries that lack structure can cause us to become over-enmeshed with other people. People with porous boundaries may have difficulty saying 'no', leading them to be overly involved in and feel responsible for other people's personal dilemmas and drama.

Healthy boundaries: When our boundaries are healthy, we can identify our own limits, be confident in our opinions, and stand up for ourselves when necessary.

Types of boundaries

Material

Our material boundaries govern how we approach lending money and other possessions. Even young children must be familiar with material boundaries, as parents teach them lessons about sharing or respecting other children's toys and items.

Physical

Physical boundaries affect how we define personal space and our comfort with physical touch. Bodily integrity, or the right to physical autonomy, is an incredibly important lesson for children to learn. Parents can show children how to respect physical boundaries, for example, by not forcing them to hug or kiss family members when they do not wish to do so. This reinforces the fact that people have the right to say 'no' to physical contact.

Mental

Also referred to as intellectual boundaries, mental boundaries allow us to form our own thoughts and help us to navigate discussions and debates. Healthy mental boundaries allow us to hold independent opinions, giving us confidence in our own stances. Too rigid of mental boundaries, however, may cause us to become too set in our ways, unable to grow or change when presented with new information or a new perspective.

Emotional

Emotional boundaries are some of the most important to maintain but can also be the most difficult. Healthy emotional boundaries help us stay independent, allowing us to separate our needs, wants, and emotions from those of our friends and loved ones. They also prevent us from placing unwarranted blame on others for our own emotions or, conversely, accepting blame for others' emotions.

Teaching children healthy boundaries

Set a good example

Like with many other lessons passed on from parents to children, teaching children about healthy boundaries is easier when parents can do so by example. Take stock of your own personal boundaries and do an honest assessment.

Start by asking yourself the following questions. Are you managing your boundaries consistently? Are the boundaries that you set healthy, rigid, or porous? When you have to enforce your boundaries with your children, do you have a discussion with them about why you are doing so?

Check in with yourself periodically about the state of your personal boundaries, keeping them healthy, and your children will have a strong example to follow as they grow up.

Emphasize confidence and emotional intelligence

Healthy boundaries often require us to be confident in our own opinions, desires, and needs. In order to build that confidence, children need to learn how to identify what they need, where their limits are, and the types of interactions with which they are comfortable.

Parents can help children build emotional intelligence through open and honest discussion. Talk about emotions frequently in age-appropriate terms, and encourage them to bring up their feelings without shame. Once your child is old enough, ask questions that will help them gain a better understanding of their motivations and reactions. You can begin with questions like,

How did that make you feel?

Why do you think you felt that way?

Would you do anything differently next time?

Teach them that it's okay to say 'No'

Being able to say 'no' is a basic skill every child should learn as it's applicable to personal boundaries of all types. Whether it's declining a request to lend money, refusing to accept unwarranted blame, or enforcing your personal space, saying 'no' is a necessary part of many human interactions.

But despite its basic nature, saying 'no' can still cause many of us discomfort, and that discomfort can take some getting used to.

Practice early and often with your child. Run through different scenarios-saying no to a family member asking for a hug, for example, will sound different than saying no to a friend's peer pressure-and emphasize that a simple 'no' is sometimes more than sufficient.

While practicing how to say no, follow-up with discussions about how to react when on the receiving end of one. Understanding the situation from its opposite viewpoint can give your child some much-needed insight. They will learn that another person's 'No' deserves to be respected and that, in turn, can give them confidence in the validity of their own 'no.'

Healthy personal boundaries are essential for healthy relationships, and parents should begin teaching their children about them from a young age. Help them build confidence in their own emotional health by having conversations about the different types of boundaries and why they help us. Establishing healthy boundaries can be tiring, and as they grow, your children may feel uncertain when putting the discussions they had with you into practice. But with love and support, they'll be able to commit to maintaining their personal boundaries and their relationships will be all the stronger because of it.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Setting healthy personal boundaries, and being able to recognize and heed others' as well, is paramount for building strong relationships on a foundation of respect. But maintaining boundaries can be complicated. And if you're unused to examining your own, it can feel uncomfortable to begin to do so as an adult.

# data[].attributes.body
Seinfeld teaches the importance of personal space.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Grades 6-8_ Social-Emotional Skills_setting boundaries_ pdf