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You may be aware of the domestic abuse charity FearFree (formerly Splitz and FearLess).

The charity has worked with Forces families in Wiltshire for many years. They have now obtained funding from the Armed Forces Covenant Fund Trust to run a Forces Intervention Programme, which is aimed at supporting Service Personnel and Veterans who live or work in Wiltshire. They offer a free course to those who exhibit abusive behaviour, in order that they can change.

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Most people feel angry sometimes, but if it's affecting your life, there are things you can try that may help.
Support is also available if you're finding it hard to cope with stress, anxiety or depression.

Symptoms of anger

Anger can cause many different symptoms. It might affect how you feel physically or mentally, or how you behave.

Some people become aggressive towards others when they're angry. Other people hide their anger and may take it out on themselves.

It's not always easy to recognise when anger is the reason why you're behaving differently.

Things you can try to help with anger

Do

try to recognise when you start to feel angry so you can take steps to calm down as early as possible

exercise - activities such as running, walking, swimming and yoga can help you relax and reduce stress

Don't

do not try to do everything at once; set small targets you can easily achieve

do not focus on things you cannot change. Focus your time and energy on helping yourself feel better

try not to tell yourself that you're alone - most people feel angry sometimes and support is available

try not to use alcohol, cigarettes, gambling or drugs to relieve anger - these can all contribute to poor mental health

Further information and support

Where to get help for anger

you feel you need help dealing with your anger

They may be able to refer you to a local anger-management programme or counselling.

Anger management programmes

A typical anger management programme may involve 1-to-1 counselling and working in a small group.

A programme may be a 1-day or weekend course, or over a couple of months.

The structure of the programme depends on who provides it, but most programmes include cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), as well as counselling.

There are also private courses and therapists who can help with anger issues. Make sure any therapist you see is registered with a professional organisation, such as the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy.

Where to get NHS help for stress, anxiety or depression

Referring yourself for therapy

If you need more support, you can get free talking therapies, such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), on the NHS.

You can refer yourself directly to a talking therapies service without a referral from a GP.

you're struggling to cope with stress, anxiety or depression

you've had a low mood for more than 2 weeks

things you're trying yourself are not helping

you would prefer to get a referral from a GP

Ask for an urgent GP appointment or call 111 if:

you need help urgently, but it's not an emergency

111 can tell you the right place to get help if you need to see someone. Go to NHS 111 online or call 111

Call 999 or go to A&E now if:

you or someone you know needs immediate help

you have seriously harmed yourself - for example, by taking a drug overdose

A mental health emergency should be taken as seriously as a medical emergency.
Find your nearest A&E

Causes of anger

There are many different causes of anger and it's different for everyone.

Some common things that make people feel angry include:

being treated unfairly and feeling powerless to do anything about it

feeling threatened or attacked

other people not respecting your authority, feelings or property

being interrupted when you're trying to achieve a goal

How you react to anger can depend on lots of things, including:

the situation you're in at the moment - if you're dealing with lots of problems or stress, you may find it harder to control your anger

your family history - you may have learned unhelpful ways of dealing with anger from the adults around you when you were a child

events in your past - people who experience traumatic, frightening or stressful events sometimes develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) which can lead to angry outbursts

substances such as drugs and alcohol - which make some people act more aggressively than usual

Some of the things that make you angry may not bother other people at all.

You might find it hard to explain why you feel this way but talking to someone could help you find a solution.

Find out about the 5 steps to mental wellbeing.

Important

If uncontrolled anger leads to domestic violence and abuse (violence or threatening behaviour within a relationship), there are places that offer help and support.

You can contact organisations such as:

Find out more about getting help for domestic violence and abuse.

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Read practical tips and advice on what to do if you're struggling with anger

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Series of short videos showing how arguments affect children and also how they can play out differently.

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When we argue with our partner or ex-partner, we can get caught up in the heat of the moment. At times like these, it's difficult to find a way forward.

We want to help you see things differently, and do things differently.

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When we argue with our partner or ex-partner, we can get caught up in the heat of the moment. At times like these, it’s difficult to find a way forward.

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Website set up by Women's Aid to teach people what healthy and unhealthy relationships look like.

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Women's Aid is the national charity working to end
abuse against women and children.

We want you to be empowered to talk about what
relationship abuse is and what is healthy and unhealthy in
your relationships.

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We believe love shouldn't feel bad, and that everyone has a right to be safe and happy.

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If you are experiencing domestic abuse, it can be isolating and difficult to find support or think about your options. That’s why we created Safe Spaces.

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UK SAYS NO MORE works with Boots UK, Morrisons, Superdrug, Well and independent pharmacies, HSBC UK and TSB banks providing safe spaces.

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The freephone, 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline - 0808 2000 247

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If you are in immediate danger, call 999 and ask for the police. If you can't speak and are calling on a mobile press 55 to have your call transferred to the police. Find out how to call the police when you can't speak.

For free, confidential advice, 24 hours a day contact a domestic abuse helpline.

Household isolation instructions do not apply if you need to leave your home to escape domestic abuse.

Translated guidance

If English is not your first language, information has been translated into several languages as well as an easy read version.

Women's Aid also have guidance documents on domestic abuse and coronavirus available in a number of languages for victims, family and friends, and community members of those affected.

If you are deaf, you can access a British Sign Language video that explains how to get help if you or someone you know is a victim of domestic abuse.

Recognise domestic abuse

Does your partner, ex-partner or someone you live with:

cut you off from family and friends and intentionally isolate you?

bully, threaten, or control you?

take control of your finances?

monitor or limit your use of technology?

physically and/or sexually abuse you?

Domestic abuse is not always physical violence. It can also include:

coercive control and 'gaslighting'

economic abuse

online abuse

threats and intimidation

emotional abuse

sexual abuse

Anyone can be a victim of domestic abuse, regardless of gender, age, ethnicity, religion, socio-economic status, sexuality or background.

If you believe that you are a victim of domestic abuse, there are signs that you can look out for including:

being withdrawn, or being isolated from your family and friends

having bruises, burns or bite marks on you

having your finances controlled, or not being given enough to buy food, medication or pay bills

not being allowed to leave your house, or stopped from going to college or work

having your internet or social media use monitored, or someone else reading your texts, emails or letters

being repeatedly belittled, put down or told you are worthless

being pressured into sex or sexual contact

being told that abuse is your fault, or that you're overreacting

See more signs to look for.

Get help and support

All forms of domestic abuse are not acceptable in any situation.

If you're experiencing domestic abuse and feel frightened of, or controlled by, a partner, an ex-partner or family member, it's important to remember that it's not your fault and there is no shame in seeking help.

It may seem like a difficult step to take, but there is support available and #YouAreNot Alone.

Free, confidential support and advice is available to victims and their concerned family members or friends, 24 hours a day.

Bright Sky app

Bright Sky is a mobile app and website for anyone experiencing domestic abuse, or who is worried about someone else.

The app can be downloaded for free from the app stores. Only download the app if it is safe for you to do so and if you are sure that your phone isn't being monitored.

Women's Aid local support services directory

Women's Aid have a directory of domestic abuse support services across the UK.

If you are experiencing domestic abuse or are worried about friends or family, you can access the Women's Aid live chat service 7 days a week, 10am to 6pm.
helpline@womensaid.org.uk
Victim Support

Victim Support run these services for victims and survivors of any abuse or crime, regardless of when it occurred or if the crime was reported to the police:

Ask for ANI codeword

If you are experiencing domestic abuse and need immediate help, ask for 'ANI' in a participating pharmacy. 'ANI' stands for Action Needed Immediately. If a pharmacy has the 'Ask for ANI' logo on display, it means they're ready to help. They will offer you a private space, provide a phone and ask if you need support from the police or other domestic abuse support services.

Ask for ANI logo used in participating pharmacies

Safe Spaces

Safe Spaces are also available in Boots, Morrisons, Superdrug and Well pharmacies, TSB banks and independent pharmacies across the UK. Once you are inside, specialist domestic abuse support information will be available for you to access. Many Safe Spaces are also prepared to respond to the 'Ask for ANI' codeword, to provide victims with a discreet way to access help calling the police on 999 or specialist support services.

Find your  nearest Safe Space.

Check whether someone has an abusive past

If you are concerned that a new, former or existing partner has an abusive past you can ask the police to check under the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme (also known as 'Clare's Law'). This is your 'right to ask'. If records show that you may be at risk of domestic abuse, the police will consider disclosing the information. A disclosure can be made if it is legal, proportionate and necessary to do so.

If you are concerned about a friend or family member, you can apply for a disclosure on behalf of someone you know.

You can make a request to the police for information about a person's previous violent offending in person at the police station or elsewhere, by telephone, by email, online or as part of a police investigation. Support agencies and services can also help you ask the police about this.

Get a court order to protect you or your child

If you're a victim of domestic abuse you can apply for a court order or injunction to protect yourself or your child from:

your current or previous partner

a family member

someone you currently or previously lived with

This is called a non-molestation or occupation order.

You can apply online, by email or by post.

Get a court order if you've been the victim of domestic abuse.

Support someone you know

If you are worried that a friend, neighbour or loved one is a victim of domestic abuse, you can call the National Domestic Abuse Helpline for free and confidential advice, 24 hours a day on 0808 2000 247.

Or you can contact the other support services listed on this page.

Seeking help for someone you know can be challenging but #YouAreNotalone. Domestic abuse advisers will offer confidential, non-judgemental information and advice on the options available to you helping you to keep safe and make informed choices.

If you believe there is an immediate risk of harm to someone, or it is an emergency, you should always call 999.

If someone confides in you, there is more information on how to support a friend who is being abused.

If you are an employer

Let your employees know that if they are facing domestic abuse you want to help them to get help. Stay in regular contact with employees you know, or fear, may be facing abuse and if you lose contact with them, take swift action to visit them. If you believe there is an immediate risk of harm to someone, or it is an emergency, always call 999.

Encourage employees to look out for others who may be facing domestic abuse and signpost them to support. Your staff may also be worried about their own abusive behaviour at this time. There is no excuse for domestic abuse, no matter what stresses you are under and support is available.

Hestia's Respond to Abuse Advice Line is a free resource for employers. Employers can call 020 3879 3695 Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm, or email adviceline.eb@hestia.org for support, guidance or information about domestic abuse and how to support employees and colleagues experiencing domestic abuse.

The  Employers' Initiative on Domestic Abuse website provides resources to support employers including an  employers' toolkit.

If you are a professional working in the domestic abuse sector

SafeLives  provides guidance and support to professionals and those working in the domestic abuse sector, as well as additional advice for those at risk.

Find additional information and support

If you want to access help specifically to cater to your background and needs or want support and help for specific types of abuse there are several organisations that can help - see Domestic abuse: specialist sources of support.

You can also find additional information and support here on topics including:

help for children and young people

welfare benefits and housing advice

help if you don't have settled status in the UK

support for specific types of abuse

Get help if you think you might be an abuser

If you are concerned about your behaviour or the behaviour of someone you know, there is support available.

The Respect Phoneline  is an anonymous and confidential helpline for men and women who are abusing their partners and families. It is open Monday to Friday 9am to 8pm. The helpline also takes calls from partners or ex-partners, friends and relatives who are concerned about perpetrators.

A webchat service is available Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays from 10am to 11am and from 3pm to 4pm.

Telephone: 0808 802 4040

How to call the police when you can't speak

If you are in danger and unable to talk on the phone, call 999 and listen to the questions from the operator and, if you can, respond by coughing or tapping on the handset.

Call 999 from a mobile

If prompted, press 55 to Make Yourself Heard and this will transfer your call to the police. Pressing 55 only works on mobiles and does not allow police to track your location.

Call 999 from a landline

If the operator can only hear background noise and cannot decide whether an emergency service is needed, you will be connected to a police call handler.

If you replace the handset, the landline may remain connected for 45 seconds in case you pick up again.

When 999 calls are made from landlines, information about your location should be automatically available to the call handlers to help provide a response.

If you are deaf or can't use a phone

You can register with the emergencySMS. Text REGISTER to 999. You will get a text which tells you what to do next. Do this when it is safe so you can text when you are in danger.

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If you are in immediate danger, call 999 and ask for the police. If you can't speak and are calling on a mobile press 55 to have your call transferred to the police. Find out how to call the police when you can't speak.

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We work to ensure women are believed, know abuse is not their fault and that their experiences have been understood.

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Abuse costs us all. But it shouldn't cost this much.Take action today Abuse costs us all. But it shouldn't cost this much.Take action today We're working together against domestic abuse until wo...

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Child abuse is preventable - not inevitable. And it’s up to each of us to do everything possible to keep childhood safe from abuse, so children can grow up healthy and thrive - 0808 800 5000

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The NSPCC is the UK’s leading children’s charity, preventing abuse and helping those affected to recover. Help us be here for children. Please donate now.

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Our friendly Men’s Advice Line advisors will believe you, offer you non-judgemental emotional support, practical advice and information - 0808 8010327

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We lead on the development of safe, effective work with perpetrators, male victims, and young people using violence in their close relationships.